1
00:00:57,875 --> 00:00:58,995
Here's your drink.
2
00:00:59,083 --> 00:01:00,753
In the life of a New Yorker,
3
00:01:00,834 --> 00:01:02,584
there are several
unpleasant things
4
00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:04,787
one will inevitably
have to face.
5
00:01:04,875 --> 00:01:06,455
Having your purse stolen.
6
00:01:06,542 --> 00:01:10,882
Random public urination.
7
00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:14,629
And seeing a gay friend's
boyfriend in a Broadway review.
8
00:01:14,709 --> 00:01:17,169
♪ And all that jazz ♪
9
00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,880
I think I understand
the three drink minimum now.
10
00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:22,079
You're not enjoying the review?
11
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,496
♪ And all that jazz ♪
12
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:26,423
Frankly I'm more concerned
about my own review
in The Times.
13
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:28,920
Oh my God, right,
your book's reviewed this week.
14
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,080
You must be so excited.
15
00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:34,166
More like terrified.
Michiko Kakutani.
16
00:01:35,041 --> 00:01:36,751
She's The Times' book critic.
17
00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:39,004
Oh, I thought you were
suggesting an appetizer.
18
00:01:39,083 --> 00:01:40,883
She's brilliant
and she's really tough.
19
00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:42,499
And impossible to pronounce.
20
00:01:42,583 --> 00:01:43,633
♪ For all... ♪
21
00:01:43,709 --> 00:01:45,919
Uh-oh, I think
they're bringin' us home.
22
00:01:46,917 --> 00:01:47,997
♪ That... ♪
23
00:01:48,083 --> 00:01:50,633
How could you not love this?
Look at my boyfriend?
24
00:01:50,709 --> 00:01:52,169
He's gorgeous!
25
00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:54,580
Oh-ho-ho-ho. And he can kick.
26
00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:58,417
♪ That jazz ♪
27
00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:01,380
-Bravo!
-Bravo!
28
00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:02,668
Bravo!
29
00:02:02,750 --> 00:02:04,250
Love you!
-Bravo!
30
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,673
Thank you!
31
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,710
My boys Marcus Adan and...
32
00:02:07,792 --> 00:02:09,922
Isn't he great?
He's great, don't you think?
33
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,790
-I have to go
to the ladies room.
Encore!
34
00:02:11,875 --> 00:02:13,495
Now? They're gonna do an encore.
35
00:02:13,583 --> 00:02:16,083
Uh-huh... I have to go to
the ladies room.
36
00:02:16,166 --> 00:02:19,166
Broadway's best, Debbie Cass.
37
00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:20,250
Yes!
38
00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:22,333
Who would have
thought the phrase,
39
00:02:22,417 --> 00:02:24,457
"Go see your
cousin Debbie's club act"
40
00:02:24,542 --> 00:02:25,962
could contain such horror?
41
00:02:26,041 --> 00:02:29,211
Oh, I thought there'd be
at least one straight guy here.
42
00:02:29,291 --> 00:02:32,831
I mean, if not in the audience,
then at least behind the bar.
43
00:02:34,208 --> 00:02:36,998
Well, hold on, 'cause tomorrow,
44
00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:38,753
we're gonna cruise
the cute pretzel guys
45
00:02:38,834 --> 00:02:41,794
-at the Village Square Market.
Oh, my God.
46
00:02:41,875 --> 00:02:43,325
Is that as sad
as that just sounded?
47
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:45,790
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
48
00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:47,995
I used to have a thing
for the Amish guys
49
00:02:48,083 --> 00:02:50,333
-who make hair brushes.
Um...
50
00:02:50,417 --> 00:02:52,827
Yeah.
51
00:02:52,917 --> 00:02:56,957
Hi.
You're Carrie Bradshaw.
52
00:02:57,041 --> 00:02:58,671
Yeah. Have we met?
53
00:02:58,750 --> 00:03:00,710
I recognize you
from your column.
54
00:03:00,792 --> 00:03:02,002
Oh.
55
00:03:02,083 --> 00:03:04,583
And I went out with Aidan
right after you.
56
00:03:05,125 --> 00:03:06,575
Phew!
57
00:03:09,917 --> 00:03:11,877
There I was worried
about The New York Times
58
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:15,079
when apparently...
I'd already been reviewed.
59
00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:16,916
I'm tellin' you,
it was a hit and run.
60
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,000
No, no, no, no, no.
It was a face and run.
61
00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:21,503
Make it again.
62
00:03:23,083 --> 00:03:24,213
Yeah, that ain't good.
63
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,211
I think you're being
oversensitive
64
00:03:26,291 --> 00:03:28,461
and it was some kind of
a facial spasm or something.
65
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,962
A lot of people have them,
like Bell's palsy.
66
00:03:31,041 --> 00:03:33,041
No. It was not Bell's palsy.
67
00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:35,285
It was a full frontal attack
of the face.
68
00:03:35,375 --> 00:03:39,035
Like uh...
Wow, was he messed up.
69
00:03:39,125 --> 00:03:41,325
You really screwed him up good.
70
00:03:41,417 --> 00:03:42,747
What did you say to her?
71
00:03:42,834 --> 00:03:44,294
I didn't have time
to say anything.
72
00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:45,995
She just ran outta the bathroom.
73
00:03:46,083 --> 00:03:48,133
Fuck that fucking face girl.
74
00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:50,128
Well, when you put it like that.
75
00:03:50,208 --> 00:03:52,168
I'm sorry.
I haven't slept for days.
76
00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:54,420
Brady's been crying nonstop.
77
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,210
You poor thing,
can I do anything?
78
00:03:56,291 --> 00:03:58,131
Put me out of my misery.
79
00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:00,578
Well what's wrong with him,
is he sick?
80
00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:02,417
No, he's not sick.
81
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:04,380
He's not hungry,
he's not teething,
82
00:04:04,458 --> 00:04:05,538
he just wants to scream.
83
00:04:05,625 --> 00:04:08,035
I'm doing everything I can,
but I can't please him.
84
00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:10,495
If he was 35,
this is when we would break up.
85
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,713
He has issues, clearly.
86
00:04:12,792 --> 00:04:14,832
I'm telling you.
This 13 pound meatloaf
87
00:04:14,917 --> 00:04:17,577
is pushing me over the edge.
I feel disgusting!
88
00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:19,417
All of my clothes
smell like barf.
89
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:22,290
I don't have time to have
a shower much less
get a haircut.
90
00:04:22,375 --> 00:04:25,495
Oh, that reminds me. I have
to confirm my appointment
91
00:04:25,583 --> 00:04:28,423
with John Mandee at
the John Mandee Salon.
92
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:32,380
You have no idea how hard it was
to get this appointment.
93
00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:34,918
Hi, it's Samantha Jones.
94
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,420
I'm calling to confirm
my appointment Saturday.
95
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:40,000
For a cut and color with John.
96
00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:43,633
Thanks. Crisis averted.
97
00:04:45,125 --> 00:04:47,205
Well... Magda's waiting for me.
98
00:04:47,291 --> 00:04:48,461
Time to go back to prison.
99
00:04:48,542 --> 00:04:50,172
Let me come with you,
I can help.
100
00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:51,580
You don't have to do that.
101
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:53,877
No, it's okay, actually
I have a few questions
102
00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:56,419
because I'm meeting with
a divorce lawyer on Monday.
103
00:04:56,500 --> 00:05:00,000
Oh, ask him if I could get
an injunction to stop a face.
104
00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:01,463
Who'd you get?
105
00:05:01,542 --> 00:05:03,632
Matthew Bloom
of Bloom & Goldenblatt.
106
00:05:03,709 --> 00:05:05,289
-Mm...
-What's he like?
107
00:05:05,375 --> 00:05:07,535
He's smart. He's tough.
108
00:05:07,625 --> 00:05:10,125
But is he tough enough
to beat Bunny to a pulp?
109
00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:12,038
Uhh... Yeah.
110
00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:13,415
Good!
111
00:05:14,041 --> 00:05:15,501
Okay. Great.
112
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,133
-Bye, guys. Have a nice day.
-Bye.
113
00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:19,538
Hey, Miranda, call me
if you need anything.
114
00:05:19,625 --> 00:05:20,575
Yeah.
115
00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:22,207
Come on, Miranda.
116
00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:25,041
Damn, why is that girl
still bothering me?
117
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,375
Honey, you have to let it go.
118
00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:29,168
If I worried what every bitch
in New York was saying about me,
119
00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:30,710
I'd never leave the house.
120
00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:35,248
Early Monday morning,
Charlotte met with her lawyer.
121
00:05:35,333 --> 00:05:37,383
He was smart, tough...
122
00:05:37,458 --> 00:05:38,538
And gorgeous.
123
00:05:38,625 --> 00:05:40,375
You said on the phone
you had some bad feelings
124
00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:42,038
about your mother-in-law,
Bunny MacDougal.
125
00:05:42,917 --> 00:05:45,077
Did I?
126
00:05:45,166 --> 00:05:46,456
I get a sense from her lawyer
127
00:05:46,542 --> 00:05:48,172
this is gonna be
a bit of a battle.
128
00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:49,040
Oh.
129
00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:50,625
It was a battle alright.
130
00:05:50,709 --> 00:05:52,129
The battle of the Charlottes.
131
00:05:52,208 --> 00:05:54,498
The Charlotte who wanted
to seem attractive
132
00:05:54,583 --> 00:05:56,133
to her adorable lawyer.
133
00:05:56,208 --> 00:05:59,418
And the Charlotte who wanted
to kick Bunny MacDougal's ass.
134
00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:02,380
It looks to me that
Mrs. MacDougal's been very busy
135
00:06:02,458 --> 00:06:05,168
hiding assets to make sure
you don't get... well,
136
00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:06,330
anything.
137
00:06:06,417 --> 00:06:08,537
Hm...
138
00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:12,125
Well, I just really want
what was promised.
139
00:06:12,208 --> 00:06:13,208
I want my apartment.
140
00:06:13,291 --> 00:06:15,461
Well, technically,
it's not your apartment.
141
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,042
Trey's family owns it.
142
00:06:17,125 --> 00:06:18,325
And she was very careful
143
00:06:18,417 --> 00:06:19,787
to make sure your name
was never on the deed.
144
00:06:19,875 --> 00:06:22,575
What? Trey gave me
that apartment!
145
00:06:22,667 --> 00:06:26,127
Sorry. Usually I'm
a very refined person.
146
00:06:26,208 --> 00:06:27,668
Well, with your husband
out of the country,
147
00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:29,580
I'm gonna need you
to be more specific.
148
00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:31,707
Charlotte realized
she could never be
149
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,132
as ugly as she needed to be
in front of a man
150
00:06:34,208 --> 00:06:35,828
she considered so handsome.
151
00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:37,877
Up-bup-bup-bup-bup,
sorry to bust in.
152
00:06:37,959 --> 00:06:40,289
There's a bagel over here
with my name on it.
153
00:06:40,375 --> 00:06:41,665
My partner, Harry Goldenblatt.
154
00:06:41,750 --> 00:06:44,500
Harry... Charlotte York.
I'm handling her divorce.
155
00:06:44,583 --> 00:06:45,583
Hey, how ya doin'?
156
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,827
Uh, you're in the right
hands here.
157
00:06:47,917 --> 00:06:52,207
He's a killer. Oh, agh, ew...
158
00:06:52,291 --> 00:06:55,131
Who the hell ordered
blueberry bagels?
159
00:06:55,208 --> 00:06:57,418
I'm talkin' to Thelma
about this.
160
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,290
Good luck to you.
161
00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:04,173
Is he a killer, too?
162
00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:08,330
And just like that...
Charlotte changed lawyers.
163
00:07:11,291 --> 00:07:12,581
After a grueling day
164
00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:15,707
which included leg,
eyebrow and bikini waxes...
165
00:07:15,792 --> 00:07:20,042
Samantha decided
to reward herself
with a night of R&R.
166
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:31,670
Unfortunately, her favorite
vibrator needed a little CPR.
167
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:39,133
Ugh!
168
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:52,380
Brady, please, what?
I cannot read your mind.
169
00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,206
Who is it?
170
00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:04,881
4-D.
171
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,254
It's 2:30 in the morning.
172
00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:10,253
I know. I'm sorry.
173
00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:12,543
You gotta stop
that baby from crying.
174
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:15,705
Look, I said I was sorry.
But I have a baby,
175
00:08:15,792 --> 00:08:18,632
and sometimes babies make noise,
that's what they do.
176
00:08:18,709 --> 00:08:20,709
I know that. I have a baby, too.
177
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:23,082
And if you ever bothered
to say hello in the elevator,
178
00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:24,456
you would know that.
179
00:08:24,542 --> 00:08:29,212
I'm Kendall, my baby is Aleika.
Have a nice night.
180
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:31,671
Evidently, Miranda had
been getting bad reviews
181
00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:34,290
from inside her own building.
182
00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:35,785
As for my review,
183
00:08:35,875 --> 00:08:37,165
I guess I was pretty nervous.
184
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,670
-Times.
Thank you.
185
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:42,080
I hadn't been up this early
since Princess Diana's wedding.
186
00:08:42,917 --> 00:08:45,457
Thank you. Okay.
187
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,037
Good morning.
188
00:08:50,917 --> 00:08:51,827
"All in all,
189
00:08:51,917 --> 00:08:54,787
I enjoyed spending time
in Ms. Bradshaw's
190
00:08:54,875 --> 00:08:57,665
sharp, funny, finely-drawn world
191
00:08:57,750 --> 00:09:01,420
where single women rule
and the men are disposable."
192
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,627
Ouch.
193
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:07,709
Carrie, I believe what you have
there is a rave review
194
00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:09,132
from The New York Times.
195
00:09:09,208 --> 00:09:11,708
"The men are disposable"?
196
00:09:11,792 --> 00:09:14,082
-I don't dispose of men, do I?
-No.
197
00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:17,826
Well, Michiko Kakutani thinks so
and I always agree with her.
198
00:09:17,917 --> 00:09:19,667
Fuck Michiko Kakutani.
199
00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:20,880
Oh, no sleep again?
200
00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:24,039
Actually, it was a good night.
201
00:09:24,125 --> 00:09:26,665
I got a whole hour.
202
00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:30,710
I can't believe I have to go
and pretend to be a lawyer now.
203
00:09:30,792 --> 00:09:33,462
Can I wear
a baseball cap to work?
204
00:09:33,542 --> 00:09:35,502
-With what shoes?
205
00:09:35,583 --> 00:09:38,713
Oh, my God.
Listen to me going on
and on about Michiko Kakutani
206
00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:40,922
when you have real problems.
207
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,750
So can I obsess
for another minute?
208
00:09:42,834 --> 00:09:44,544
Just don't say her name again.
209
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:45,955
It'll push me over the edge.
210
00:09:46,041 --> 00:09:46,921
So, yes!
211
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,330
Some of the men in the book
212
00:09:48,417 --> 00:09:51,747
are maybe a little disposable,
but... this makes it sound
213
00:09:51,834 --> 00:09:55,004
like I think
men are disposable in life.
214
00:09:56,083 --> 00:09:58,083
What? What's with the pause?
215
00:09:58,166 --> 00:10:01,416
I'm sorry,
I fell asleep for a second.
216
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:04,500
That's a terrible thing
to think about me.
217
00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:07,963
Oh, my God!
That's what the face meant.
218
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:11,131
Do you think that Aidan thinks
that I think he was disposable?
219
00:10:11,208 --> 00:10:13,828
Carrie, you did not
throw Aidan away.
220
00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,917
-Good morning.
-Shh...
221
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,420
Well, that girl thinks I did.
222
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:18,960
He must've said something
like that to her.
223
00:10:19,917 --> 00:10:21,747
Where else would she get it?
224
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:23,084
Steve and Aidan are close,
225
00:10:23,166 --> 00:10:25,206
has Steve ever
said anything to you?
226
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,461
Does Steve hate me now?
227
00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:28,582
Carrie, you're spinning.
228
00:10:28,667 --> 00:10:29,957
Steve doesn't hate you.
229
00:10:30,041 --> 00:10:31,791
Then how come
I never see him anymore.
230
00:10:31,875 --> 00:10:34,875
You never see him because
I have to keep him away
231
00:10:34,959 --> 00:10:37,289
because... If I see him now
232
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:40,455
I'll ask him to marry me
just to give me some help.
233
00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:43,792
I worked very hard at
taking care of Aidan's feelings.
234
00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:45,495
Will you mention that to Steve?
235
00:10:45,583 --> 00:10:47,083
Because if Aidan told Steve
that I--
236
00:10:47,166 --> 00:10:48,916
Carrie, you know what?
237
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,250
Maybe you should call
your girlfriend, Samantha.
238
00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:54,833
She has all kinds of time to
talk about this kind of stuff.
239
00:10:54,917 --> 00:10:57,127
Look, I know it's me...
240
00:10:57,208 --> 00:10:59,248
And I'm jealous of
her free time and all.
241
00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:02,463
But if she could maybe just
once acknowledge the fact
242
00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:04,082
that I've had a baby...
243
00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:13,958
It's not enough
I've alienated my neighbor.
244
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:16,131
Now I'm alienating my friends.
245
00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:17,628
You're not alienating anyone.
246
00:11:17,709 --> 00:11:18,919
Tell that to 4-D.
247
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,540
She's pissed off
I don't know her name.
248
00:11:20,625 --> 00:11:22,325
Do you know
your neighbors' names?
249
00:11:22,417 --> 00:11:23,747
Please.
250
00:11:23,834 --> 00:11:25,884
I'm a bad neighbor
and a bad mother.
251
00:11:25,959 --> 00:11:27,999
That's not true,
you're doin' great.
252
00:11:28,083 --> 00:11:29,633
Yeah, right.
253
00:11:29,709 --> 00:11:31,919
You're just having a bad week.
254
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,630
Can I do anything to help?
255
00:11:33,709 --> 00:11:36,919
That helps. Just asking.
256
00:11:37,875 --> 00:11:39,625
I'm late, I gotta go.
257
00:11:39,709 --> 00:11:42,249
Congratulations on the review.
258
00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:44,383
Yeah.
259
00:11:51,333 --> 00:11:54,713
Why is it that we only seem to
believe the negative things
260
00:11:54,792 --> 00:11:56,212
people say about us?
261
00:11:56,291 --> 00:11:59,331
No matter how much evidence
there is to the contrary.
262
00:11:59,417 --> 00:12:01,207
A neighbor, a face,
263
00:12:01,291 --> 00:12:03,211
an ex-boyfriend can cancel out
264
00:12:03,291 --> 00:12:05,791
everything we thought
was once true.
265
00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:09,035
Odd, but when it comes
to life and love,
266
00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:12,245
why do we believe
our worst reviews?
267
00:12:17,959 --> 00:12:22,709
After a long day in court,
Miranda faced another jury.
268
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,630
Don't cry, don't cry.
269
00:12:49,208 --> 00:12:50,668
And at City Bakery,
270
00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:52,420
Samantha and I were
reviewing the desserts.
271
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:55,000
Mm-mm, delish.
272
00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:57,923
Hey, I'll buy you dessert
if you do something for me.
273
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,630
I'm not eating
desserts this week.
274
00:12:59,709 --> 00:13:02,959
Oh, come on,
best brownies in New York.
275
00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:04,921
-Bastard.
276
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,920
I'll take a brownie.
277
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,420
What do you need me to do?
278
00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,080
It's about Miranda
and the baby.
279
00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:11,076
Forget the brownie.
280
00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:13,666
No.
She'll take the brownie.
281
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:17,290
Babies are not my scene.
282
00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:20,165
And from what I've heard,
this one sounds like an asshole.
283
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,710
You can't call
a baby an asshole.
284
00:13:22,792 --> 00:13:24,292
Why not?
She called it a meatloaf.
285
00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,245
I don't think it would
kill all of us
286
00:13:26,333 --> 00:13:28,333
to be a little more supportive.
287
00:13:28,417 --> 00:13:29,957
Oh, alright.
288
00:13:30,041 --> 00:13:31,671
When he's in college,
I'll take him for a drink
289
00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:33,750
and I'll flirt with his friends.
How's that?
290
00:13:33,834 --> 00:13:36,174
Maybe you could just
stop by tomorrow
291
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,960
and say, "I hear you
had a baby, how's that goin'?"
292
00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:42,171
Carrie, I have no time,
I'm booked all day.
293
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,460
I have my hair appointment
294
00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:46,922
and I'm returning
a vibrator before that.
295
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,500
Hair and a vibrator.
296
00:13:48,583 --> 00:13:52,883
Yes. That is my life
and I don't have to justify it.
297
00:13:52,959 --> 00:13:54,459
I hate
it when people have babies
298
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,752
and they suddenly expect you
to turn into some kind of
299
00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:58,174
Norman Rockwell painting.
300
00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:00,540
We're not talking about people.
301
00:14:00,625 --> 00:14:03,625
We're talking about our friend,
and she's sinking.
302
00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:08,130
What, so Miranda's like Venice?
303
00:14:08,208 --> 00:14:09,878
That'll be $14.20.
304
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,710
She's paying for the brownie.
305
00:14:14,625 --> 00:14:16,075
Carrie?
306
00:14:16,875 --> 00:14:19,705
Oh, hey. Julia, hi!
307
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,002
Oh, um...
This is my friend, Samantha.
308
00:14:22,083 --> 00:14:24,833
This is Julia Afton,
we work together at Vogue.
309
00:14:24,917 --> 00:14:25,957
-Hi.
-Hi. Hardly...
310
00:14:26,041 --> 00:14:27,671
She gets to run in
and out once a month
311
00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:30,000
while I'm chained
to the hem of Anna Wintour.
312
00:14:31,583 --> 00:14:33,173
Oh, there's my friend, Nina!
313
00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:34,420
I'm here.
314
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,127
It is about time.
315
00:14:37,208 --> 00:14:38,998
Hey, sorry I'm late.
316
00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:42,035
Carrie, hi.
317
00:14:42,125 --> 00:14:43,285
There I was...
318
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:45,415
Face to face
with the face girl.
319
00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:47,500
And how do you two
know each other?
320
00:14:47,583 --> 00:14:48,633
I'll tell you over lunch.
321
00:14:48,709 --> 00:14:51,379
Nina Katz?
Hi. Samantha Jones.
322
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,418
Oh, hi. Nice to see you again.
323
00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:55,205
Um, can we eat?
324
00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:56,831
I am starvation central.
325
00:14:56,917 --> 00:14:58,417
Okey-dokey. See ya.
326
00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,750
Bye, Carrie.
327
00:15:00,875 --> 00:15:04,995
How do you know Nina Katz?
328
00:15:05,083 --> 00:15:06,423
Everybody knows Nina Katz.
329
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:07,830
She's the booker for
Saturday Night Live.
330
00:15:07,917 --> 00:15:11,037
Well, she's also the face girl.
331
00:15:11,125 --> 00:15:12,075
-No!
-Yes.
332
00:15:12,166 --> 00:15:14,166
Nina Katz is the...
333
00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:15,330
Exactly.
334
00:15:15,417 --> 00:15:17,827
Oh, great, that face'll
be all over Vogue.
335
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,667
Not to mention SNL.
Nina Katz loves to talk.
336
00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:23,750
-$15.30.
-I...
337
00:15:23,834 --> 00:15:27,334
I'm going to need
a big brownie as well. So...
338
00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:29,580
The next day,
339
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:32,327
Samantha did some
personal shopping.
340
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,003
Very personal.
341
00:15:35,917 --> 00:15:37,667
-Can I help you?
-Yes.
342
00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:40,210
I'd like to return
this vibrator.
343
00:15:41,166 --> 00:15:42,496
We don't sell vibrators.
344
00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:44,753
Yes, you do, I bought it
here six months ago.
345
00:15:44,834 --> 00:15:48,084
That's not a vibrator.
It's a neck massager.
346
00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:50,076
No, it's a vibrator.
347
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:53,456
Sharper Image
doesn't sell vibrators.
348
00:15:53,542 --> 00:15:54,792
It's a neck massager.
349
00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:57,125
You expect me to believe that
women buy these
350
00:15:57,208 --> 00:15:58,748
to help their sore necks?
351
00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:01,294
It's a neck massager.
352
00:16:01,375 --> 00:16:04,285
Fine. I'd like to return
this neck massager.
353
00:16:04,375 --> 00:16:05,625
What's wrong with it?
354
00:16:05,709 --> 00:16:07,709
It failed to get me off.
355
00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:11,787
It has a warranty
and it just stopped.
356
00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:13,455
Made the saddest little sound.
357
00:16:13,542 --> 00:16:15,172
Perhaps you wore it out.
358
00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:17,290
Well, honey, it wouldn't
be the first one.
359
00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:20,625
Fine. Just... find another
360
00:16:20,709 --> 00:16:22,579
and go to the cashier.
361
00:16:25,542 --> 00:16:28,212
I know a man who's in desperate
need of a neck massage.
362
00:16:31,041 --> 00:16:34,711
Oh, you don't want that one.
Too many bells and whistles.
363
00:16:37,458 --> 00:16:39,578
That one actually
works against you.
364
00:16:39,667 --> 00:16:41,917
If we wanted to work that hard,
we'd get us a man.
365
00:16:42,041 --> 00:16:43,171
Am I right?
366
00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:46,000
Samantha instantly
established herself...
367
00:16:46,083 --> 00:16:49,043
as the Michiko Kakutani
of vibrators.
368
00:16:49,125 --> 00:16:51,785
I-- I think that one actually is
a back massager.
369
00:16:51,875 --> 00:16:53,075
Not if you mount it.
370
00:16:53,166 --> 00:16:54,416
Ooh.
371
00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:59,000
No, absolutely not.
That will burn your clit off.
372
00:16:59,083 --> 00:17:00,333
Even with underwear?
373
00:17:00,417 --> 00:17:02,127
Even with ski pants.
374
00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:07,959
Come on.
375
00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:24,037
I brought you something.
376
00:17:25,709 --> 00:17:28,039
Well, it belongs to Aleika.
377
00:17:28,125 --> 00:17:29,495
An oscillating chair.
378
00:17:31,041 --> 00:17:32,291
It helps.
379
00:17:33,792 --> 00:17:34,712
Come on in.
380
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:37,670
Hey...
381
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,210
Hey there, Mr. Mouth.
382
00:17:42,291 --> 00:17:45,671
What have you got to
say that is so important?
383
00:17:45,750 --> 00:17:48,630
I'm sorry,
it's just been nonstop.
384
00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:51,671
Now this chair
385
00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:54,880
is a little controversial.
386
00:17:54,959 --> 00:17:56,539
But I don't give a shit,
387
00:17:56,625 --> 00:17:58,285
as it stopped my baby
from crying
388
00:17:58,375 --> 00:18:01,705
when I was about ready
to throw myself
off the fire escape.
389
00:18:01,792 --> 00:18:04,132
Sounds good.
390
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,378
Okay, now.
391
00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:12,747
Oh, my God.
392
00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:14,424
The chair is genius.
393
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:16,880
I don't know, something about
the vibration...
394
00:18:16,959 --> 00:18:18,959
I don't know. They love it.
395
00:18:19,041 --> 00:18:21,251
Aleika could sit in it
for hours.
396
00:18:22,583 --> 00:18:25,633
So, how come you
haven't heard about this?
397
00:18:25,709 --> 00:18:27,879
Don't your girlfriends
have babies?
398
00:18:27,959 --> 00:18:29,829
No. I'm the only one.
399
00:18:29,917 --> 00:18:32,417
Ooh, then you're screwed.
400
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,000
Actually,
they've been very helpful.
401
00:18:34,083 --> 00:18:36,833
If they don't have kids,
they don't have a clue.
402
00:18:41,125 --> 00:18:43,165
Miranda,
you're not a bad mother.
403
00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,923
You just didn't have the chair.
404
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:49,880
Thank you.
405
00:18:51,875 --> 00:18:54,575
-Kendall.
406
00:18:58,959 --> 00:19:02,079
Three blissful
baby hours later...
407
00:19:02,166 --> 00:19:03,786
Samantha, what are
you doing here?
408
00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:05,205
I'm not Samantha, you are.
409
00:19:05,291 --> 00:19:06,791
You have a 5:30 appointment
410
00:19:06,875 --> 00:19:10,165
with John Mandee
at the John Mandee Salon. Go!
411
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:11,960
What?
412
00:19:12,041 --> 00:19:13,131
Uh, I can't take your--
413
00:19:13,208 --> 00:19:15,668
I'm counting to five
and then I'm changing my mind.
414
00:19:15,750 --> 00:19:17,250
-Really?
-Uh-huh.
415
00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:18,333
You wanna babysit?
416
00:19:18,417 --> 00:19:19,787
Five, four--
417
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:22,125
Okay! Okay!
418
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:24,753
I don't know what to say.
419
00:19:24,834 --> 00:19:25,834
I can't believe it.
420
00:19:25,917 --> 00:19:27,577
Well, neither can I,
but here I am.
421
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,537
Mary fuckin' Poppins.
422
00:19:29,625 --> 00:19:32,995
Thank you.
423
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:35,173
Um...
The numbers are on the fridge.
424
00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:37,170
And don't take him
out of that chair.
425
00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:39,290
It's the only thing
that keeps him quiet.
426
00:19:41,375 --> 00:19:42,955
And don't call boys.
427
00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:56,503
Well, you don't look so bad.
428
00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:05,460
Meanwhile, in a chair
across town,
429
00:20:05,542 --> 00:20:09,542
I was enjoying an afternoon
of absolutely nothing.
430
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,625
Goodnight, thank you.
431
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:29,332
Hey, do you think Nina Katz
432
00:20:29,417 --> 00:20:31,577
is telling random
celebrity hosts
433
00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:33,877
that I am the bad
break-up girlfriend?
434
00:20:33,959 --> 00:20:34,959
-What?
435
00:20:35,041 --> 00:20:36,171
Well,
you said she loved to talk.
436
00:20:36,250 --> 00:20:37,790
Do you think she's trashing me
to say,
437
00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:39,875
a Gwenyth Paltrow
438
00:20:39,959 --> 00:20:41,209
or an Ian McKellan?
439
00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:42,421
You can't be serious.
440
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,630
Well, don't get me wrong,
I don't flatter myself
441
00:20:44,709 --> 00:20:46,709
that a Gwenyth Paltrow
or an Ian McKellan
442
00:20:46,792 --> 00:20:48,792
would be interested
in my love life but--
443
00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:50,964
Are you at a zoo?
444
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,421
No. Thanks to you,
I'm at Miranda's.
445
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:55,540
And Brady won't stop screaming
446
00:20:55,625 --> 00:20:57,245
and I don't know what to do.
447
00:20:57,333 --> 00:20:58,423
You're at Miranda's?
448
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,580
I sent her to get my haircut.
449
00:21:00,667 --> 00:21:01,627
That was nice.
450
00:21:01,709 --> 00:21:04,579
Yes, and now
I'm being punished.
451
00:21:04,667 --> 00:21:05,917
So, he's not hurt?
452
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,250
-No.
-Or wet?
453
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:08,293
No.
454
00:21:08,375 --> 00:21:10,375
Well, then I don't know
what his problem is.
455
00:21:10,458 --> 00:21:12,288
His problem is he's an asshole.
456
00:21:13,959 --> 00:21:15,459
Well, maybe you should
call Miranda.
457
00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:16,832
I will not.
458
00:21:16,917 --> 00:21:18,537
It took me months
to get that appointment.
459
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,205
Someone should benefit.
460
00:21:20,291 --> 00:21:23,461
I'll find some way to keep
this kid quiet. Goodbye.
461
00:21:23,542 --> 00:21:25,172
No, no, wait.
What about Nina?
462
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:28,630
Carrie, maybe Charlotte
has the time to talk about
this kind of stuff.
463
00:21:28,709 --> 00:21:31,579
I have a screaming baby
on my hands.
464
00:21:35,917 --> 00:21:38,377
What? What do you need?
465
00:21:42,583 --> 00:21:45,173
Well... That's better.
466
00:21:46,125 --> 00:21:47,205
Is everything okay?
467
00:21:47,291 --> 00:21:48,541
Oh, absolutely. The chair thing
468
00:21:48,625 --> 00:21:50,955
broke, but, you know,
shit happens.
469
00:21:51,041 --> 00:21:52,461
The chair broke?
470
00:21:52,542 --> 00:21:53,962
But what did you--
471
00:21:54,041 --> 00:21:55,671
I mean, did he--
472
00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:04,923
That better be brand new.
473
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,710
Monday morning,
Harry Goldenblatt did his best
474
00:22:07,792 --> 00:22:10,882
to make sure Bunny
didn't hop all over Charlotte.
475
00:22:10,959 --> 00:22:14,879
Mrs. MacDougal is willing
to offer her son's collection
476
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,250
of mint condition,
silver buffalo coins.
477
00:22:17,333 --> 00:22:18,503
Can we get off
the coin collection?
478
00:22:18,583 --> 00:22:20,713
She's not gonna settle
for a coin collection.
479
00:22:20,792 --> 00:22:23,002
Well,
according to the prenup...
480
00:22:23,083 --> 00:22:25,753
This is ridiculous.
Trey gave me that apartment.
481
00:22:27,417 --> 00:22:31,827
She gave him her word,
till death do them part.
482
00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:34,417
Bunny, if you have something
to say to me, just--
483
00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:36,790
-Fine. I shall.
-I strongly recommend we focus--
484
00:22:36,875 --> 00:22:39,245
Allen, hush.
485
00:22:39,333 --> 00:22:41,423
You, my dear, took a vow.
486
00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:42,750
And when things
didn't go your way
487
00:22:42,834 --> 00:22:44,044
you simply broke that vow.
488
00:22:44,125 --> 00:22:47,495
I come from a generation
of women that valued marriage.
489
00:22:47,583 --> 00:22:50,213
We believed in
for better or for worse.
490
00:22:50,291 --> 00:22:53,831
Not, for better or until
the road gets rocky.
491
00:22:53,917 --> 00:22:57,127
When I think of the heartache
492
00:22:57,208 --> 00:23:01,248
and shame you caused
my dear boy...
493
00:23:01,333 --> 00:23:03,213
I'm amazed that you
could even come here
494
00:23:03,291 --> 00:23:04,581
and look me in the face.
495
00:23:04,667 --> 00:23:06,377
Charlotte couldn't
fight anymore.
496
00:23:06,458 --> 00:23:09,578
It seemed to her
she'd been fighting
for this marriage forever.
497
00:23:11,375 --> 00:23:13,205
Be advised, young lady...
498
00:23:13,291 --> 00:23:15,671
I'm more than prepared
to go to court.
499
00:23:19,458 --> 00:23:22,328
It's the coin collection.
Take it or leave it.
500
00:23:22,417 --> 00:23:23,747
Now, just hold on.
501
00:23:23,834 --> 00:23:26,044
Apparently, our office
just received a telegram
502
00:23:26,125 --> 00:23:27,705
from Scotland from
Doctor MacDougal.
503
00:23:27,792 --> 00:23:28,712
Shall I read it?
504
00:23:28,792 --> 00:23:30,632
By all means.
505
00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:34,825
"Charlotte York was
a wonderful wife. Stop.
506
00:23:34,917 --> 00:23:37,287
She did nothing wrong. Stop.
507
00:23:37,375 --> 00:23:39,325
Give her everything she wants.
508
00:23:39,417 --> 00:23:40,747
Stop.
509
00:23:40,834 --> 00:23:45,294
Seriously, mother... Stop."
510
00:23:45,375 --> 00:23:47,205
That's the thing
about reviews.
511
00:23:47,291 --> 00:23:50,251
Sometimes,
when you least expect it...
512
00:23:50,333 --> 00:23:52,173
you get a rave.
513
00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:56,834
Just the apartment.
514
00:23:56,917 --> 00:23:57,917
I'll have papers drawn up
515
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,420
so Mrs. MacDougal
can transfer the deed.
516
00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:03,330
Even though things
had gotten ugly...
517
00:24:03,417 --> 00:24:05,747
Charlotte didn't want them
to end that way.
518
00:24:05,834 --> 00:24:08,464
I'm sorry things
didn't work out better.
519
00:24:08,542 --> 00:24:09,792
For all of us.
520
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,830
Allen.
521
00:24:13,917 --> 00:24:16,077
Charlotte realized
there was no such thing
522
00:24:16,166 --> 00:24:17,996
as a fairy tale divorce,
either.
523
00:24:18,083 --> 00:24:20,383
Ding dong, the witch is dead.
524
00:24:26,875 --> 00:24:30,625
And farther uptown,
still unable to let it go...
525
00:24:30,709 --> 00:24:32,669
Nina Katz and that face
526
00:24:32,750 --> 00:24:35,040
had driven me to face
my worst fear.
527
00:24:35,125 --> 00:24:37,325
So, Steve, I know I was kinda
vague on the phone.
528
00:24:37,417 --> 00:24:40,457
It's Miranda, right? She doesn't
want me callin' so much. Right?
529
00:24:40,542 --> 00:24:41,582
It's fine, whatever.
530
00:24:41,667 --> 00:24:44,247
No, no, no, it's not about
Miranda, it's about...
531
00:24:46,792 --> 00:24:48,462
How does Aidan feel about me?
532
00:24:48,542 --> 00:24:50,042
Aw, geez, no.
533
00:24:50,125 --> 00:24:52,665
I mean, you're not gonna try
to get back together
with him again, are you?
534
00:24:52,750 --> 00:24:54,210
Um, no,
535
00:24:54,291 --> 00:24:56,211
but that pretty much
answers any question I had
536
00:24:56,291 --> 00:24:57,711
about how you feel.
537
00:24:59,959 --> 00:25:00,749
So...
538
00:25:00,834 --> 00:25:02,544
What, does he hate me?
539
00:25:02,625 --> 00:25:05,205
No, but come on, Carrie.
I mean, it was pretty bad.
540
00:25:05,291 --> 00:25:07,791
How bad, Steve?
541
00:25:08,625 --> 00:25:09,535
Steve, the ball.
542
00:25:09,625 --> 00:25:10,995
Sorry.
543
00:25:11,083 --> 00:25:12,633
So, how is he now?
544
00:25:12,709 --> 00:25:14,879
Great. He's great.
545
00:25:14,959 --> 00:25:16,169
Good.
546
00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:18,080
-He's great.
-Good.
547
00:25:18,166 --> 00:25:19,576
-Now.
548
00:25:20,333 --> 00:25:21,503
But back then...
549
00:25:21,583 --> 00:25:24,083
Back then he couldn't
get out of bed for like...
550
00:25:25,709 --> 00:25:27,209
What, days? Weeks?
551
00:25:27,291 --> 00:25:29,671
Like a month.
I brought him chicken wings.
552
00:25:29,750 --> 00:25:30,750
Oh, Christ...
553
00:25:30,834 --> 00:25:33,084
Look, I don't mean
to make you feel bad.
554
00:25:33,166 --> 00:25:36,206
Well, a month?
555
00:25:36,291 --> 00:25:37,631
Yeah, he was devastated.
556
00:25:37,709 --> 00:25:40,709
I mean, he lost his ability
to open up and trust women.
557
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:48,210
He lost his ability to open up
and trust women?
558
00:25:48,291 --> 00:25:49,541
Did he tell you that?
559
00:25:49,625 --> 00:25:52,415
No, guys don't talk about shit
like that. We just ate wings,
560
00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:55,290
but the girl, Nina,
he was dating, she told me that.
561
00:25:55,375 --> 00:25:57,955
Okay, we're looking for
the cute pretzel guys.
562
00:25:58,041 --> 00:25:59,881
How come you never
wanted to cruise guys
563
00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:01,209
when I was available?
564
00:26:01,291 --> 00:26:02,711
This isn't about cruising,
it's about clarity.
565
00:26:02,792 --> 00:26:03,922
That Nina Katz face chick
566
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,540
is now hitting a little
too close to home.
567
00:26:05,625 --> 00:26:08,705
I wanna find her, and tell her
my side of the break-up story.
568
00:26:08,792 --> 00:26:10,832
Why? You know what
you and Aidan had.
569
00:26:10,917 --> 00:26:11,957
Yes, I know it, but she doesn't
570
00:26:12,041 --> 00:26:14,541
and she's yip-yapping
her version all over town.
571
00:26:14,625 --> 00:26:16,035
It only takes one bad review
572
00:26:16,125 --> 00:26:18,875
to cancel out all
the good word of mouth.
573
00:26:18,959 --> 00:26:21,079
What do you think of Marcus?
574
00:26:21,166 --> 00:26:23,876
Nice. I mean relationships
are complicated,
575
00:26:23,959 --> 00:26:25,539
you can't reduce them to a face.
576
00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:27,785
-I know that Aidan has feelings.
-Okay.
577
00:26:27,875 --> 00:26:31,575
-It's not my--
-Stop. I am done.
578
00:26:31,667 --> 00:26:35,917
I've listened to you talk about
Aidan for what, ten blocks,
579
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,880
and two years.
580
00:26:37,959 --> 00:26:39,579
And I've been
a wonderful audience.
581
00:26:39,667 --> 00:26:44,377
And I ask you about my Marcus
and all I get is "nice"?
582
00:26:45,333 --> 00:26:46,423
I'm sorry.
583
00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:49,710
I mean, Carrie, how many
relationships have I been in
584
00:26:49,792 --> 00:26:50,962
since you've known me?
585
00:26:51,041 --> 00:26:52,501
Real or imaginary?
586
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,040
Come on, your opinion
means a lot to me.
587
00:26:57,125 --> 00:26:59,955
You're my Michiko Kakamatza.
588
00:27:00,041 --> 00:27:02,581
So now what, you want me
to review your relationship?
589
00:27:02,667 --> 00:27:04,577
Immediately if not sooner.
590
00:27:04,667 --> 00:27:05,537
Okay, well...
591
00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:07,995
I like that he makes you happy.
592
00:27:08,709 --> 00:27:09,749
Oh, my God...
593
00:27:11,125 --> 00:27:12,415
Carrie.
594
00:27:12,500 --> 00:27:13,880
Oh... Okay,
595
00:27:13,959 --> 00:27:15,919
one more time,
you are officially stalking me.
596
00:27:18,542 --> 00:27:19,332
Hi, I'm Heather.
597
00:27:19,417 --> 00:27:21,957
Heather Graham, I know,
I love you.
598
00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:23,131
I'm Stanford Blache.
599
00:27:23,208 --> 00:27:24,998
Oh, sorry, Heather,
uh, this is Carrie Bradshaw.
600
00:27:25,083 --> 00:27:25,963
Carrie Bradshaw?
601
00:27:26,041 --> 00:27:26,881
Really?
602
00:27:26,959 --> 00:27:28,419
Oh...
603
00:27:29,083 --> 00:27:30,083
So...
604
00:27:31,291 --> 00:27:32,461
Okay, I...
605
00:27:32,542 --> 00:27:33,632
Nina,
606
00:27:33,709 --> 00:27:37,829
I need to talk to you
for a second, alone, if I can.
607
00:27:37,917 --> 00:27:39,077
Oh, Miss Graham,
608
00:27:39,166 --> 00:27:40,456
may I buy you a pretzel?
609
00:27:40,542 --> 00:27:42,582
-Okay.
-And get me one.
610
00:27:42,667 --> 00:27:43,957
A man or a pretzel?
611
00:27:44,041 --> 00:27:45,631
Whatever has less carbs.
612
00:27:45,709 --> 00:27:46,629
Right?
613
00:27:50,583 --> 00:27:54,083
I get the sense that
you have a sort of feeling
614
00:27:54,166 --> 00:27:55,706
about what happened with Aidan.
615
00:27:55,792 --> 00:27:57,882
And I just wanna
clear something up.
616
00:27:59,083 --> 00:28:02,833
Break-ups are awful,
and they are private.
617
00:28:02,917 --> 00:28:05,997
And they are not
necessarily symptomatic
618
00:28:06,083 --> 00:28:09,963
of what two people had together.
619
00:28:10,041 --> 00:28:12,421
I loved Aidan very much.
620
00:28:12,500 --> 00:28:14,960
And I would never ever
have done anything
621
00:28:15,041 --> 00:28:16,631
to deliberately hurt him.
622
00:28:17,625 --> 00:28:18,665
Okay.
623
00:28:18,750 --> 00:28:20,630
Suddenly,
I realized that the critic
624
00:28:20,709 --> 00:28:23,669
I was most afraid of
wasn't Nina Katz.
625
00:28:23,750 --> 00:28:25,080
It was me.
626
00:28:25,625 --> 00:28:26,915
So...
627
00:28:28,792 --> 00:28:31,082
Bye.
628
00:28:31,166 --> 00:28:32,246
The truth is...
629
00:28:32,333 --> 00:28:34,833
At any given moment,
someone, somewhere
630
00:28:34,917 --> 00:28:36,707
could be making a face
about you.
631
00:28:36,792 --> 00:28:38,832
Bye.
632
00:28:38,917 --> 00:28:42,037
But it's the reviews
you give yourself that matter.
633
00:28:42,125 --> 00:28:43,785
...so I get over there
with Heather Graham
634
00:28:43,875 --> 00:28:46,125
and I'm like, shit,
what do we have to talk about?
635
00:28:46,208 --> 00:28:47,378
-She's pretty.
636
00:28:47,458 --> 00:28:50,328
I know, but we have nothing
to talk about but pretzels.
637
00:28:50,417 --> 00:28:52,037
-So, okay, so I said...
-Ooh...
638
00:28:52,125 --> 00:28:54,075
-Sorry.
639
00:28:54,166 --> 00:28:55,416
Come on, come on!
640
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:57,630
So I said,
"Have you ever been to Bavaria?
641
00:28:57,709 --> 00:28:59,999
They make the best
pretzels there."