1
00:00:47,001 --> 00:00:49,021
[Carrie] One night, four ladies
in the East met at Compass
2
00:00:49,023 --> 00:00:51,003
to discuss going West.
3
00:00:51,005 --> 00:00:55,015
I have to go to San Francisco
on a book tour. Thank you...
4
00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:58,001
You wouldn't go
to the Upper West Side.
5
00:00:58,005 --> 00:00:59,995
Suddenly you're going
to San Francisco?
6
00:01:00,004 --> 00:01:01,004
They're making me.
7
00:01:01,003 --> 00:01:03,023
Apparently I'm very big
in San Francisco.
8
00:01:03,018 --> 00:01:05,998
You mean Big is
in San Francisco.
9
00:01:06,003 --> 00:01:09,013
Okay, yes, perhaps,
I'll see Big.
10
00:01:09,008 --> 00:01:11,998
Guys, I need to have sex.
It's been too long.
11
00:01:12,006 --> 00:01:14,016
Lately I've been
having these dreams
where I run...
12
00:01:14,020 --> 00:01:18,010
I run up to complete strangers
13
00:01:18,014 --> 00:01:20,014
and just start kissing them.
14
00:01:20,011 --> 00:01:22,011
If all you want is sex,
you don't have to go
across the country.
15
00:01:22,016 --> 00:01:23,016
Just go across the restaurant.
16
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:27,001
Those guys have been checking
us out ever since they sat down.
17
00:01:27,002 --> 00:01:29,012
Oh, cute...
18
00:01:29,008 --> 00:01:30,018
[Charlotte] Cute?
19
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,010
Cute.
20
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:35,999
Boring, boring and boring.
Like these scallops.
21
00:01:36,006 --> 00:01:37,006
I love the food here.
22
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:38,023
Same old, same old.
23
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,010
Same Old?
Just opened last week.
24
00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:43,000
Scallops are scallops
and bachelors are bachelors.
25
00:01:43,006 --> 00:01:45,006
Sounds to me like
you might be experiencing
26
00:01:45,007 --> 00:01:47,017
a been there, done them
existential crisis.
27
00:01:48,001 --> 00:01:51,011
It's not me, it's New York.
Nothing is ever really new.
28
00:01:51,013 --> 00:01:53,013
In fact they should change
the name to "Same York."
29
00:01:53,016 --> 00:01:54,016
You're nuts!
30
00:01:54,019 --> 00:01:57,009
These scallops are fantastic
and those guys are cute.
31
00:01:57,016 --> 00:01:59,996
You should go say hi. May I?
32
00:02:00,005 --> 00:02:01,005
No, no, no,
I don't wanna say hi.
33
00:02:01,013 --> 00:02:04,023
I wanna say...
"Could one of you lie
on top of me for awhile."
34
00:02:04,023 --> 00:02:08,013
I need to feel the weight
of a man on me.
35
00:02:08,008 --> 00:02:11,008
It's times like this
I wish women could go
to male prostitutes.
36
00:02:11,009 --> 00:02:12,009
Women do.
37
00:02:12,011 --> 00:02:15,011
No, no. Only in bad
screenplays and first novels.
38
00:02:15,012 --> 00:02:17,022
That is an incredible
investment idea.
39
00:02:17,019 --> 00:02:20,019
We should open a brothel
where the men are cute
40
00:02:21,001 --> 00:02:23,011
and the sheets are
500 count Egyptian cotton.
41
00:02:23,014 --> 00:02:24,024
Samantha, you can be the madam.
42
00:02:25,001 --> 00:02:26,021
Well, at least
it's something new.
43
00:02:26,018 --> 00:02:28,998
We could put one in every
neighborhood like Starbucks.
44
00:02:29,006 --> 00:02:29,996
"Starfucks."
45
00:02:30,003 --> 00:02:32,003
A place like that
doesn't exist in reality
46
00:02:32,002 --> 00:02:34,012
because women don't
think about sex like that.
47
00:02:34,011 --> 00:02:37,011
It's not an animal urge.
We need to feel things.
48
00:02:37,007 --> 00:02:38,997
We need a connection.
Isn't that right, Carrie?
49
00:02:39,005 --> 00:02:40,015
No, Big is my male prostitute.
50
00:02:40,018 --> 00:02:43,018
I am mixing business
with much needed pleasure
51
00:02:43,019 --> 00:02:45,999
and my relief is just
a train ride away.
52
00:02:46,006 --> 00:02:47,996
A train? Why don't you just fly?
53
00:02:48,006 --> 00:02:49,016
Oh no, no, no,
flying makes me nervous.
54
00:02:49,021 --> 00:02:53,021
I get a little uneasy
seeing the National Guard
go through my makeup case.
55
00:02:53,019 --> 00:02:54,999
Besides it'll be fun.
56
00:02:55,005 --> 00:02:59,005
Especially, if Samantha
goes with me.
57
00:02:59,010 --> 00:03:00,010
[Carrie] Oh, please!
58
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,013
Come on it'll be hilarious.
59
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:05,017
Two gals on a train?
Very Some Like It Hot.
60
00:03:05,020 --> 00:03:10,020
And, the whole trip ends,
with a luxury suite,
61
00:03:10,017 --> 00:03:12,007
in a fabulous...
62
00:03:12,007 --> 00:03:15,017
four-star San Francisco hotel.
63
00:03:15,017 --> 00:03:16,017
Why didn't you invite me?
64
00:03:16,023 --> 00:03:19,013
Because Samantha's the only one
who's bored enough to do it.
65
00:03:20,016 --> 00:03:22,016
So what time
do we leave "Same York"?
66
00:03:22,022 --> 00:03:25,012
[squeals]
67
00:03:25,016 --> 00:03:27,996
♪ I'm gonna get laid ♪
68
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,010
More and more single women
of a certain age
69
00:03:33,015 --> 00:03:35,005
are looking for
a certain thing.
70
00:03:35,013 --> 00:03:36,013
And that certain thing
71
00:03:36,013 --> 00:03:41,003
does not necessarily
involve a certain ring.
72
00:03:41,005 --> 00:03:44,005
We may have traded
the little black book
for a little black dress
73
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:46,015
and replaced the Ferrari
with a Fendi...
74
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:51,007
But in view of certain
evidence, I had to wonder...
75
00:03:51,008 --> 00:03:53,008
Are we the new bachelors?
76
00:03:59,016 --> 00:04:01,006
[conductor]
Final call for the 9:15...
77
00:04:01,012 --> 00:04:03,012
[Samantha] What did Big say
when you told him?
78
00:04:03,012 --> 00:04:05,022
I haven't yet, I'm gonna
wait 'til I get there.
79
00:04:05,021 --> 00:04:07,021
You know, "Hello,
guess where I am."
80
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,010
Very casual, very la-la-lah.
81
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,016
Well, that's one approach.
82
00:04:10,019 --> 00:04:12,019
I would have called
and said, "I'm coming,
83
00:04:12,022 --> 00:04:15,012
and I won't be the only one."
84
00:04:15,011 --> 00:04:17,021
I think I'm getting a pimple.
Can you see anything,
85
00:04:17,021 --> 00:04:19,021
right here, above my freckle?
86
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,000
Mm. All clear.
87
00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:23,023
Oh, good. The last thing
I need is a big honkin' zit,
88
00:04:23,022 --> 00:04:25,012
when I meet my prostitute.
89
00:04:25,013 --> 00:04:27,003
Oh, this may be
just what I needed,
90
00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:29,015
if I can stand the train
for three days.
91
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:31,018
Oh, think of it as an adventure.
92
00:04:31,018 --> 00:04:33,018
It's not the destination,
it's the journey.
93
00:04:33,019 --> 00:04:36,019
A journey in
adjoining first-class,
94
00:04:37,001 --> 00:04:39,001
deluxe, sleeper berths.
95
00:04:39,005 --> 00:04:41,005
Truth be told, I've always
wanted to take a train.
96
00:04:41,010 --> 00:04:42,010
It's so sexy.
97
00:04:42,012 --> 00:04:44,012
You never know who's going
to be getting on,
98
00:04:44,007 --> 00:04:45,997
-and getting me off.
-[they giggle]
99
00:04:46,005 --> 00:04:48,015
-[conductor] All aboard!
-[excited squeals]
100
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:51,021
Hello, sir. [giggles]
101
00:04:57,005 --> 00:05:00,005
[lightly squealing]
102
00:05:00,009 --> 00:05:03,019
[Carrie] Ooh, we're here...
103
00:05:08,014 --> 00:05:12,024
Um...
104
00:05:13,001 --> 00:05:15,021
We were supposed to have
the deluxe first-class sleeper.
105
00:05:16,001 --> 00:05:17,011
This is the first-class sleeper.
106
00:05:17,014 --> 00:05:21,014
And I suppose the regular class
sleeps in what, a tuna can?
107
00:05:21,011 --> 00:05:24,021
And right here, ya have
your door to the restroom.
108
00:05:29,018 --> 00:05:30,018
Wait.
109
00:05:31,001 --> 00:05:34,001
[Carrie]
You shower over the toilet?
110
00:05:36,018 --> 00:05:40,008
I'm starting to understand
why there was a murder
on the Orient Express.
111
00:05:40,016 --> 00:05:42,016
-[doorbell]
-[Carrie] And in a far less
crowded space...
112
00:05:42,017 --> 00:05:43,007
Oh!
113
00:05:43,013 --> 00:05:45,023
Delivery from
Bloom & Goldenblatt.
114
00:05:45,017 --> 00:05:47,007
I thought they'd
send a messenger.
115
00:05:47,008 --> 00:05:48,008
Do you know what
we would charge you
116
00:05:48,016 --> 00:05:50,006
for a messenger
to make a twelve block drop?
117
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:53,016
So, a partner personally
delivers my divorce papers?
118
00:05:54,001 --> 00:05:57,011
Sure, why not?
I needed the walk.
119
00:05:57,007 --> 00:05:58,007
Okay.
120
00:05:58,007 --> 00:06:02,007
Uh, I was just gonna go
work out, but, come in!
121
00:06:06,009 --> 00:06:08,009
Whoo, it's hot.
122
00:06:08,015 --> 00:06:10,015
-Excuse me?
-Outside.
123
00:06:10,019 --> 00:06:12,999
I'm shvitzing
like a pudding at a picnic.
124
00:06:13,004 --> 00:06:14,024
Oh.
125
00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:19,023
[clears throat]
So, this is the pagoda
we've been fightin' over, huh?
126
00:06:19,020 --> 00:06:23,000
It's impressive.
I can see why you'd never
wanna give it up.
127
00:06:23,002 --> 00:06:25,012
Hm. Actually I'm thinking
about selling.
128
00:06:25,011 --> 00:06:26,021
After everything
we went through to get it?
129
00:06:27,001 --> 00:06:29,011
Well, you know,
it's too big for one person
130
00:06:29,007 --> 00:06:31,017
and I'm just putting
the word out if anyone hears
of any great apartments.
131
00:06:31,019 --> 00:06:33,019
Hey, hey, I got a buddy who's
puttin' his place on the market.
132
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,020
It may be a little
too bachelor for your taste.
133
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,020
Oh, I can change that.
134
00:06:37,001 --> 00:06:38,011
You should have seen
this place when I moved in.
135
00:06:38,014 --> 00:06:40,014
It was where plaid furniture
came to die.
136
00:06:40,013 --> 00:06:43,013
I could set it up
so you could get a first look.
137
00:06:43,009 --> 00:06:44,009
Okay.
138
00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:45,012
Done. So...
139
00:06:45,012 --> 00:06:47,002
Uh... let's get you divorced.
140
00:06:47,003 --> 00:06:49,023
[Harry] Sit and sign.
141
00:07:04,019 --> 00:07:06,009
Do you have a handkerchief
or something?
142
00:07:06,012 --> 00:07:08,012
You... just... still sweating.
143
00:07:08,014 --> 00:07:11,014
Oh, sorry, I...
This never happens.
144
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:13,004
-Oh.
-[Harry laughs]
145
00:07:13,006 --> 00:07:15,016
-Oh, thanks.
-[lightly giggles]
146
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,001
Whoo...
147
00:07:18,023 --> 00:07:20,023
-That's it?
-That's it.
148
00:07:20,021 --> 00:07:23,011
You are no longer
Mrs. Trey MacDougal.
149
00:07:24,004 --> 00:07:26,004
Hmm...
150
00:07:26,004 --> 00:07:28,024
How do you like that?
151
00:07:28,019 --> 00:07:30,009
I like it.
152
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,009
You have some tissue
stuck to you.
153
00:07:35,014 --> 00:07:37,024
I'm a fuckin' mess today.
154
00:07:38,013 --> 00:07:39,023
Mmm...
155
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,001
[Carrie] Somewhere
outside of Pittsburgh,
156
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,023
Samantha and I decided
to get out of our twin cans
157
00:07:44,019 --> 00:07:47,999
and go for a classic
train dinner in the club car.
158
00:07:48,006 --> 00:07:50,016
-[Samantha] Whoo...
-Whoop.
159
00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:55,995
-[Samantha sighs]
-[Carrie] This is it?
160
00:07:56,005 --> 00:07:58,005
I thought there'd be
white linen table cloths
161
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:01,011
and Bing Crosby
singin' at a piano.
162
00:08:05,005 --> 00:08:06,005
Oh, uh...
163
00:08:06,016 --> 00:08:08,006
Excuse me.
Table for two, please.
164
00:08:08,012 --> 00:08:10,022
Uh, just sit anywhere
that's open.
165
00:08:12,022 --> 00:08:14,022
Whoa. Oh... [giggles]
166
00:08:18,018 --> 00:08:21,998
-[kids giggle]
-Oh, sorry, the train zigged.
167
00:08:24,010 --> 00:08:28,020
Okay.
Um, excuse me, sorry.
168
00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:30,000
Ooh...
169
00:08:37,011 --> 00:08:39,001
[whispering] Really?
170
00:08:41,011 --> 00:08:43,021
Hello. Oh...
171
00:08:45,006 --> 00:08:46,006
Thank you.
172
00:08:46,007 --> 00:08:48,007
I'm eating with the Amish?
173
00:08:48,016 --> 00:08:50,006
Uh-huh.
174
00:08:50,013 --> 00:08:52,023
Are you aware
every time we stop,
175
00:08:52,019 --> 00:08:54,009
good looking people get off
176
00:08:54,009 --> 00:08:55,019
and more ugly people get on?
177
00:08:55,020 --> 00:08:57,010
-Shh.
-I'm serious.
178
00:08:57,011 --> 00:08:59,001
This is the train to ugly.
179
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:01,005
There isn't one man
on this train I'd fuck.
180
00:09:01,010 --> 00:09:03,000
-What about you?
-Well don't ask me,
181
00:09:03,003 --> 00:09:06,023
I'm horny. And nine hours
of train rocking hasn't helped.
182
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,005
Sorry.
183
00:09:11,001 --> 00:09:14,011
If she has a problem,
next time she can take a buggy.
184
00:09:17,006 --> 00:09:18,006
[Carrie] Thanks.
185
00:09:18,009 --> 00:09:19,019
How do you think
the Zagat guy
186
00:09:19,021 --> 00:09:22,021
would rate a place that lists
potato chips as an appetizer?
187
00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:24,019
Don't even say
potato chip to me.
188
00:09:24,017 --> 00:09:29,007
This zit is getting
bigger by the hour.
Here, can you see it now?
189
00:09:29,016 --> 00:09:32,996
Let's just say
you're starting to look like
you belong on a train.
190
00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:35,005
Oh, really?
191
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:35,997
Well, what can I get you?
192
00:09:36,006 --> 00:09:38,006
A martini and an airplane.
193
00:09:38,016 --> 00:09:41,006
Um, what's safe to order?
194
00:09:41,012 --> 00:09:43,012
The club sandwich.
195
00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:46,005
Uh, and a martini.
196
00:09:46,014 --> 00:09:49,014
Oh God, I need a big old drink.
197
00:09:49,014 --> 00:09:50,024
Mm-mm.
198
00:09:52,014 --> 00:09:54,024
Again, sorry.
199
00:09:58,016 --> 00:10:00,016
And speaking of martinis.
200
00:10:00,021 --> 00:10:02,011
A zebra-skin rug.
201
00:10:02,012 --> 00:10:04,012
Hey, I told you
he was a bachelor.
202
00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:05,020
But a bar in the bedroom?
203
00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:09,001
Ooh, you ain't seen
nothin' yet. Here.
204
00:10:10,013 --> 00:10:11,023
♪ Ta-daah ♪
205
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,010
-[Charlotte] Ewww.
-Hm-hm-hm-hm?
206
00:10:15,013 --> 00:10:17,013
[Harry] Ooh...
207
00:10:17,011 --> 00:10:19,011
Well you seem to know
your way around here.
208
00:10:19,009 --> 00:10:21,999
Oh yeah, I sublet while
I was goin' through my divorce.
209
00:10:22,004 --> 00:10:24,014
Wait, wait, wait.
210
00:10:24,008 --> 00:10:26,008
[sexy music playing]
211
00:10:26,010 --> 00:10:28,020
Surround sound.
212
00:10:28,021 --> 00:10:31,021
I can't believe that men think
it takes all this stuff
213
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,010
to get a woman into bed.
214
00:10:35,015 --> 00:10:38,005
What does it take?
215
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:40,022
-Charlotte...
-What?
216
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,020
I think you are
the sexiest woman I ever met.
217
00:10:43,019 --> 00:10:44,999
[laughingly] Harry!
218
00:10:45,003 --> 00:10:47,003
Don't be ridiculous,
I'm wearing my glasses.
219
00:10:47,002 --> 00:10:49,022
It makes me crazy
when you say my name!
220
00:10:49,020 --> 00:10:51,020
Well then I'm definitely
gonna stop saying it.
221
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,998
What a putz
your ex-husband must be.
222
00:10:53,004 --> 00:10:55,014
-Trey was not a putz!
-Was a putz!
223
00:10:55,008 --> 00:10:56,018
If I was lucky enough
to have you in my bed,
224
00:10:57,001 --> 00:10:58,021
I would never be able
to take my hands off you.
225
00:10:58,023 --> 00:11:02,003
-[soft laughingly] Stop, Harry.
-Ever since the first moment
226
00:11:02,004 --> 00:11:04,004
I saw you I can't think
about anything else!
227
00:11:04,004 --> 00:11:07,004
I'm like, I'm look...
I'm fuckin' Romeo over here.
228
00:11:07,004 --> 00:11:10,014
God it's hot, I'm sweating.
Can you open the window?
229
00:11:10,008 --> 00:11:12,018
I fantasize about your lips.
230
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,020
Your perfect pink lips.
231
00:11:29,004 --> 00:11:31,014
[Carrie]
Two days, two toilet showers
232
00:11:31,011 --> 00:11:34,001
and too many
club sandwiches later...
233
00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:42,013
[phone ringing]
234
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:47,004
-Hello?
-It's me, and it's still bad.
235
00:11:47,004 --> 00:11:49,014
-The trip or the pimple?
-Both.
236
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:52,022
I tried to squeeze it
somewhere outside Oklahoma.
237
00:11:52,021 --> 00:11:54,011
Here's a helpful hint.
238
00:11:54,009 --> 00:11:56,999
Never give yourself
a train facial.
239
00:11:57,004 --> 00:11:58,004
Got it.
240
00:11:58,006 --> 00:12:00,006
If this thing hasn't
started to deflate by Colorado,
241
00:12:00,008 --> 00:12:02,018
-I'm not even calling Big.
-[knocking]
242
00:12:03,001 --> 00:12:05,021
Hold on.
Someone who used to be
Samantha just came in.
243
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,020
Rumor has it a group of guys
not resembling the Elephant Man
244
00:12:09,001 --> 00:12:12,011
just got on and are having
a bachelor party in the bar car.
245
00:12:12,012 --> 00:12:13,012
Get dressed.
246
00:12:13,013 --> 00:12:15,013
I can't go anywhere
with this pimple.
247
00:12:15,009 --> 00:12:17,009
I got on a train for you.
248
00:12:17,007 --> 00:12:20,997
You are going
to the bar car with me.
249
00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:25,997
I have to go to
a bachelor party.
250
00:12:26,004 --> 00:12:27,014
And back in New York,
251
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:28,007
Charlotte found herself
sandwiched
252
00:12:28,016 --> 00:12:31,006
between some
confirmed bachelors.
253
00:12:31,015 --> 00:12:35,005
How can a person
have really hot s-e-x
254
00:12:35,012 --> 00:12:36,022
with someone
they don't even like?
255
00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:40,011
You're spelling "sex" in a place
with a go-go boy on the bar?
256
00:12:40,007 --> 00:12:41,017
I'm serious.
257
00:12:41,017 --> 00:12:43,007
Why?
258
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,012
Oh, my God, Char.
259
00:12:45,011 --> 00:12:47,011
-You?
-I don't know what happened.
260
00:12:47,014 --> 00:12:49,014
He's my divorce lawyer
and I don't even like him.
261
00:12:49,013 --> 00:12:52,023
So? Some of the best sex
I've had is with people
I can't stand.
262
00:12:52,017 --> 00:12:54,007
Details! This is so exciting.
263
00:12:54,013 --> 00:12:56,013
Well he was showing me
this bachelor apartment
264
00:12:56,007 --> 00:12:58,017
and I think it was
all the leather and music.
265
00:12:58,017 --> 00:12:59,017
Leather, I get it, go.
266
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,010
Suddenly, out of nowhere
we were kissing and then--
267
00:13:02,013 --> 00:13:05,023
Fucking! Oh, my God, Char!
This is so exciting.
268
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,010
How was it?
269
00:13:07,009 --> 00:13:08,009
Unbelievable.
270
00:13:08,016 --> 00:13:10,996
Mwah! Mm...
Cosmos for everyone!
271
00:13:11,005 --> 00:13:12,005
No! No, it's not good.
272
00:13:12,013 --> 00:13:15,013
I don't wanna date him.
He's not very attractive.
273
00:13:15,008 --> 00:13:16,018
Ugly sex is hot.
274
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,010
No! He's sweaty and pushy
275
00:13:19,011 --> 00:13:21,021
and no, no,
I could never date him.
276
00:13:21,022 --> 00:13:25,012
But... Well...
Maybe just for the sex.
277
00:13:25,007 --> 00:13:27,007
How does that work exactly?
278
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:28,017
Okay, listen up.
279
00:13:28,019 --> 00:13:32,009
You have to be very clear about
the rules. It's just sex.
280
00:13:32,014 --> 00:13:34,004
You can't act romantic at all.
281
00:13:34,006 --> 00:13:35,016
You have to talk just sex talk,
282
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:38,002
"Fuck me, and get out."
283
00:13:38,003 --> 00:13:39,013
Isn't that rude?
284
00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:40,020
No, it's hot.
285
00:13:40,018 --> 00:13:43,008
Hello! Where's my drink?
286
00:13:52,022 --> 00:13:55,002
Things are looking up.
287
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,012
They are pretty cute.
288
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:57,999
This blush is worse
than the pimple.
289
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,014
I look like I'm in
a high school play or something.
290
00:14:00,009 --> 00:14:01,019
Come on, follow my lead.
291
00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:07,000
Oh. Hello. [giggles]
292
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,014
Hi.
293
00:14:14,006 --> 00:14:16,006
Well, well, well.
294
00:14:16,013 --> 00:14:20,013
Aren't you boys
a sight for sore eyes.
295
00:14:22,015 --> 00:14:24,995
-So, what are we drinking?
-[man] Ah...
296
00:14:25,006 --> 00:14:26,006
Light beer.
297
00:14:26,007 --> 00:14:28,007
Oh, we can do better than that.
298
00:14:28,009 --> 00:14:31,009
Sir, a bottle
of champagne, please.
299
00:14:31,013 --> 00:14:33,023
I'm sure one of you gentlemen
will help me...
300
00:14:33,023 --> 00:14:35,023
pop my cork?
301
00:14:37,004 --> 00:14:38,024
[Carrie]
And just like that,
302
00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:40,020
we went from
Some Like It Hot...
303
00:14:40,022 --> 00:14:42,012
To "Some Like Us Not."
304
00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:44,001
I thought I was
looking pretty hot.
305
00:14:44,005 --> 00:14:45,005
You are pretty hot.
306
00:14:45,015 --> 00:14:48,005
-Not according to them.
-[waiter] Champagne?
307
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:52,022
Okay.
308
00:14:54,002 --> 00:14:56,022
[Carrie] Hi. Uh... Oh...
309
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,020
Excuse me.
310
00:14:57,021 --> 00:15:00,021
But, what kind of
bachelor party is this?
311
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,020
We're not really bachelors.
We're all married.
312
00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:06,010
Well except Bri,
he's the last one
in the gang to bite it.
313
00:15:06,012 --> 00:15:09,022
Yeah, we're takin' him
to the Giants game
in San Francisco.
314
00:15:09,017 --> 00:15:10,017
[cheers]
315
00:15:10,022 --> 00:15:12,012
[Carrie] Well, uh...
316
00:15:12,015 --> 00:15:13,015
My friend over there
317
00:15:13,020 --> 00:15:16,020
has come on this
very long trip
as a favor to me.
318
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,020
And I was hoping...
That one of you fellas...
319
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:24,020
Could oblige her in a little
harmless male flirtation.
320
00:15:24,022 --> 00:15:27,012
We're, uh, trying to be good.
Promised our wives.
321
00:15:27,016 --> 00:15:31,996
[Carrie] As far as a pimp,
I was a total train wreck.
322
00:15:34,009 --> 00:15:37,019
-They love their wives.
-Oh.
323
00:15:37,022 --> 00:15:39,022
[Samantha]
You were right, Carrie.
324
00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:43,011
It's not New York,
that's the problem, it's me.
325
00:15:44,001 --> 00:15:47,001
I am having an e-existe...
326
00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:51,011
A mid-life thing, you know.
327
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:53,006
Ooh, this thing has roots.
328
00:15:53,009 --> 00:15:54,019
And I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
329
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,021
I mean I already
fuck younger guys
330
00:15:57,001 --> 00:15:59,001
and I don't want a sports car.
331
00:15:59,002 --> 00:16:02,002
Oh, God, parking
in New York is a bitch.
332
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:03,022
I'm sorry about the train,
333
00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:05,010
this was a terrible idea.
334
00:16:05,015 --> 00:16:08,005
-Oh...
-It's all my fault.
335
00:16:08,015 --> 00:16:11,995
All because I had to get laid.
336
00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:14,014
[Carrie] There! Popped it.
337
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:16,995
-Alright!
-[Carrie giggles]
338
00:16:17,003 --> 00:16:21,003
Let's get another bottle
to celebrate, huh? [laughs]
339
00:16:21,004 --> 00:16:23,014
[Carrie]
One very long trip later,
340
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,016
Samantha and I dragged
our cabooses
341
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,998
into a bookstore
near the Golden Gate.
342
00:16:28,003 --> 00:16:29,023
Impressive turnout,
343
00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:32,002
I guess you are big
in San Francisco.
344
00:16:32,004 --> 00:16:33,024
-Oop, my publisher.
-[Lily] Oh, hi!
345
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,010
You made it in one piece.
346
00:16:36,007 --> 00:16:38,007
Well, that's debatable.
347
00:16:38,015 --> 00:16:40,995
Wow. I can't believe it.
348
00:16:41,002 --> 00:16:43,012
All these people
came to hear me read?
349
00:16:43,011 --> 00:16:44,011
Um, Carrie?
350
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:45,000
Yes.
351
00:16:45,006 --> 00:16:46,996
-They're not all just for you.
-Oh.
352
00:16:47,003 --> 00:16:48,023
Mr. Winkle's here.
353
00:16:48,023 --> 00:16:51,013
Who's Mr. Winkle?
354
00:16:54,010 --> 00:16:55,020
He's making an appearance
right after you.
355
00:16:58,013 --> 00:17:00,013
You're opening for a dog?
356
00:17:00,007 --> 00:17:01,007
I know.
They had a chance
357
00:17:01,016 --> 00:17:02,996
to get Mr. Winkle
and they jumped at it.
358
00:17:03,003 --> 00:17:04,013
He's huge on the Internet.
359
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:09,023
Lily... I can't be the opening
act for a dog.
360
00:17:09,019 --> 00:17:10,999
What can I say, Carrie?
The West Coast
361
00:17:11,005 --> 00:17:12,995
sales rep
totally fucked me on this.
362
00:17:13,002 --> 00:17:14,012
-[man] Lily, hi!
-Hey.
363
00:17:14,016 --> 00:17:15,016
One second, be right back.
364
00:17:18,001 --> 00:17:19,011
-You know, maybe--
-Oh, thanks,
365
00:17:19,009 --> 00:17:21,009
but don't even
waste your energy, you know...
366
00:17:21,014 --> 00:17:22,024
Go back to the hotel
367
00:17:22,020 --> 00:17:25,020
and get in that
giant tub and relax.
368
00:17:25,017 --> 00:17:26,997
I'll see ya later,
we'll have a meal.
369
00:17:27,006 --> 00:17:27,996
Later?
370
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:29,005
Aren't you gonna call Big?
371
00:17:29,013 --> 00:17:31,023
Between the pimple
and the puppy I'm not up for it.
372
00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:35,010
-Are you sure?
-Yeah, go, go. Take a long bath.
373
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:37,020
I may never get out.
374
00:17:37,017 --> 00:17:38,017
-Mwah.
-Bye.
375
00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:52,010
This book tour stuff is rough.
376
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:58,018
It's a cute top.
377
00:18:02,012 --> 00:18:06,002
"As I walked home,
I couldn't help but wonder,
378
00:18:06,006 --> 00:18:09,016
Was it Mr. Big?
Was it New York?
379
00:18:09,023 --> 00:18:12,013
-Or was it me?"
-[coughing]
380
00:18:13,016 --> 00:18:14,996
[cell phone ringing]
381
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:17,006
Uh, does anyone have a question?
382
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:21,013
-Yes?
-When is Mr. Winkle coming out?
383
00:18:21,009 --> 00:18:24,019
Oh, uh, in a mere moment.
384
00:18:25,001 --> 00:18:28,021
So, if there are no other
questions about my book.
385
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:33,011
Uh, yes, I see a hand,
but I can't see the man.
386
00:18:33,013 --> 00:18:36,013
Could, um, could you shift...
Sorry.
387
00:18:37,019 --> 00:18:39,999
Yes, I have a question.
388
00:18:40,005 --> 00:18:42,015
Um, this Mr. Big character,
389
00:18:42,017 --> 00:18:44,017
does he have a real name?
390
00:18:45,001 --> 00:18:48,001
Uh, yes, but I can't reveal it.
391
00:18:48,003 --> 00:18:51,003
I have to protect his privacy.
392
00:18:51,002 --> 00:18:52,002
Oh.
393
00:18:52,004 --> 00:18:54,014
[Carrie] I no longer cared
about Mr. Winkle.
394
00:18:54,012 --> 00:18:56,022
I had Mr. Big.
395
00:18:59,003 --> 00:19:02,013
[yelling] Samantha! Samantha!
396
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:05,008
I'm taking a bubble bath.
397
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:08,021
Ya have to get out.
Big's here. I need to have sex.
398
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,000
I'm taking a bath.
399
00:19:10,006 --> 00:19:13,016
I got you a smaller room,
all to yourself... downstairs.
400
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000
I can't get
in another small room.
401
00:19:16,002 --> 00:19:19,022
Please. I have to get laid.
402
00:19:19,022 --> 00:19:23,002
Oh... Well... [sighs]
403
00:19:23,006 --> 00:19:24,006
You better fuck him good
404
00:19:24,015 --> 00:19:27,005
because I'm not gonna
go through this again
in another six months.
405
00:19:27,012 --> 00:19:30,012
Can ya hurry?
I told him to come up
in about half an hour.
406
00:19:30,009 --> 00:19:31,019
-[blows]
-So... [whistle]
407
00:19:31,023 --> 00:19:33,023
Snap it up. Go faster.
Okay, bye-bye,
408
00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:36,020
thank you
sweetie, mwah, thank you.
409
00:19:38,022 --> 00:19:41,002
-[knocking]
-Oh...
410
00:19:41,004 --> 00:19:45,024
[sniffs] Okay.
411
00:19:46,008 --> 00:19:48,008
[sighs]
412
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,023
Hey, you.
413
00:19:52,022 --> 00:19:54,002
So did you hide the body?
414
00:19:54,005 --> 00:19:55,015
What body?
415
00:19:55,017 --> 00:19:57,017
Or whatever it was you
needed to do that kept me
wandering around
416
00:19:57,022 --> 00:20:00,012
the hotel gift shop
for half an hour.
417
00:20:09,021 --> 00:20:13,021
Mm. I got you some gum.
418
00:20:14,023 --> 00:20:17,023
Big Red.
The clerk recommended it.
419
00:20:17,020 --> 00:20:20,020
Well... Aren't you somethin'.
420
00:20:23,011 --> 00:20:25,011
-Want some?
-Sure.
421
00:20:38,002 --> 00:20:39,022
Hmm.
422
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:44,018
Nice digs.
423
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,000
This'll set your publisher back,
huh?
424
00:20:47,002 --> 00:20:48,012
Yeah.
425
00:20:50,008 --> 00:20:51,998
You look good.
426
00:20:52,005 --> 00:20:53,005
So do you, kid.
427
00:20:53,014 --> 00:20:57,014
[choking sounds]
428
00:20:57,016 --> 00:20:58,016
What?
429
00:20:58,017 --> 00:20:59,017
-My gum. Christ!
-Oh.
430
00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:01,021
You surprised me.
431
00:21:01,020 --> 00:21:03,020
-[grunts]
-Ew.
432
00:21:03,023 --> 00:21:06,003
Yeah. I swallowed it.
433
00:21:06,004 --> 00:21:07,024
-[clears throat]
-Sorry.
434
00:21:07,023 --> 00:21:10,013
Here let me kiss it
and make it all better.
435
00:21:14,003 --> 00:21:15,013
-How's that?
-Mmm.
436
00:21:15,011 --> 00:21:17,001
-We better go.
-But--
437
00:21:17,002 --> 00:21:19,012
-Dinner reservations.
-Oh, I'm not hungry.
438
00:21:19,009 --> 00:21:21,009
We have to go.
I promised my partners.
439
00:21:21,007 --> 00:21:24,007
I'd make a little
vineyard connection
with the restaurant owner, so,
440
00:21:24,009 --> 00:21:27,019
let's go. We'll have a nice
meal, and catch up.
441
00:21:28,022 --> 00:21:31,002
-Hm?
-Okay.
442
00:21:32,010 --> 00:21:35,020
So I'm walking through the mall
and I see your book.
443
00:21:35,022 --> 00:21:38,012
Wait, you were in a mall?
444
00:21:38,008 --> 00:21:39,018
I live in America now.
445
00:21:39,023 --> 00:21:42,013
You've gotta go through them
to get to the outside.
446
00:21:42,007 --> 00:21:43,017
-Hm.
-Anyway,
447
00:21:43,023 --> 00:21:46,013
I pass a bookstore
and there you are.
448
00:21:46,009 --> 00:21:48,009
Right in the window
next to the real books.
449
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:50,995
Oh, sir, you are too kind.
450
00:21:51,003 --> 00:21:52,013
-Good cover.
-Oh.
451
00:21:52,014 --> 00:21:54,024
Cute, sexy.
452
00:21:54,017 --> 00:21:56,007
-Sexy, huh?
-Mm.
453
00:21:56,014 --> 00:21:58,014
-[soft giggles]
-So I go in,
454
00:21:58,010 --> 00:22:01,000
I bought it... Drove right home.
455
00:22:01,006 --> 00:22:03,996
Sat on my porch.
Lit up a cigar.
456
00:22:04,002 --> 00:22:06,012
And I read it cover to cover.
457
00:22:06,008 --> 00:22:08,018
-Porch?
-Screen doors and everything.
458
00:22:09,001 --> 00:22:12,001
Well... What'd you think?
459
00:22:15,002 --> 00:22:18,022
I had no idea
that I hurt you so much.
460
00:22:18,022 --> 00:22:21,012
I gotta say, it was tough
to see it in print.
461
00:22:21,009 --> 00:22:22,009
You've read my columns.
462
00:22:22,011 --> 00:22:23,021
Not all at one sitting.
463
00:22:23,020 --> 00:22:26,000
One reading.
One right after the other.
464
00:22:26,004 --> 00:22:29,014
Bam, bam, bam.
465
00:22:29,011 --> 00:22:31,011
I really got
how much I hurt you.
466
00:22:31,008 --> 00:22:33,018
Oh, come on. That's fiction.
467
00:22:33,021 --> 00:22:36,011
Fiction. I embellished.
468
00:22:36,012 --> 00:22:38,022
No, Carrie, some of that stuff
really happened.
469
00:22:38,022 --> 00:22:41,012
-Word for word.
-It's just writing.
470
00:22:41,008 --> 00:22:43,008
It's all in the past.
471
00:22:43,010 --> 00:22:47,010
Now let's forget all that
and talk about something else.
472
00:22:50,018 --> 00:22:52,018
How's the wine business?
473
00:22:52,021 --> 00:22:54,021
-Great.
-Yeah?
474
00:22:56,010 --> 00:22:58,010
You know in that chapter
about my apartment key.
475
00:22:58,016 --> 00:23:00,016
Was I really
that big of an asshole?
476
00:23:02,006 --> 00:23:03,996
[softly] Oh God...
477
00:23:05,005 --> 00:23:07,005
"He was like the city itself.
478
00:23:07,007 --> 00:23:10,007
Cold, infuriating
and exhausting."
479
00:23:10,012 --> 00:23:12,002
[Carrie]
Suddenly it became clear to me
480
00:23:12,004 --> 00:23:14,004
this was not my best laid plan.
481
00:23:14,006 --> 00:23:16,006
Now, see, see, that's
what I'm talking about.
482
00:23:16,014 --> 00:23:19,004
When have I ever been cold?
Am I cold?
483
00:23:19,005 --> 00:23:22,015
No. You're hot.
484
00:23:22,022 --> 00:23:26,002
-Very hot.
-Well what about chapter three?
485
00:23:26,002 --> 00:23:28,012
That, that, that was
all years ago.
486
00:23:28,016 --> 00:23:32,016
Can we...
Can we please stop talking?
487
00:23:34,011 --> 00:23:36,021
-Oh, wait, wait, wait.
-What, what, what?
488
00:23:36,017 --> 00:23:39,007
[sighs] Look, I just don't
want you to get hurt again.
489
00:23:39,009 --> 00:23:41,999
I won't. It's just sex!
490
00:23:42,006 --> 00:23:44,016
Well, according to this book,
it is not just sex.
491
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,020
Look, look. What happened
in New York was all my fault.
492
00:23:47,023 --> 00:23:49,003
I didn't read the signs.
493
00:23:49,003 --> 00:23:52,023
You were unavailable.
And very clear about that.
494
00:23:52,019 --> 00:23:54,019
It was all me.
495
00:23:54,021 --> 00:23:58,001
Now please, kiss me.
496
00:23:58,002 --> 00:24:00,022
Or at least lie on top of me.
497
00:24:00,019 --> 00:24:03,019
Carrie, I think
it's very clear from this book.
498
00:24:03,017 --> 00:24:06,017
That when it comes to me, you
do not have good judgment.
499
00:24:06,022 --> 00:24:08,012
Now look at chapter three.
500
00:24:08,007 --> 00:24:11,017
That's fiction.
And it's not even a best seller.
501
00:24:11,017 --> 00:24:12,017
Here, page 39.
502
00:24:12,022 --> 00:24:14,022
Oh God, I can't believe
this is happening.
503
00:24:15,001 --> 00:24:16,021
Are you involved
with someone else?
504
00:24:16,017 --> 00:24:17,017
No.
505
00:24:17,017 --> 00:24:19,017
Oh, it's the pimple, isn't it?
506
00:24:19,021 --> 00:24:22,011
I just don't wanna
do something here
507
00:24:22,015 --> 00:24:24,995
that I'll be sorry for later.
508
00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:28,015
I'm fine. Look at me, put--
509
00:24:28,019 --> 00:24:31,009
Put the book down
and look at me.
510
00:24:31,016 --> 00:24:32,016
[Big sighs]
511
00:24:32,023 --> 00:24:36,013
I'm fine. Just fine.
512
00:24:38,001 --> 00:24:39,011
Don't I look fine?
513
00:24:40,005 --> 00:24:42,005
Mm-hm.
514
00:24:42,013 --> 00:24:46,013
So... Let's talk
just a little more.
515
00:24:46,010 --> 00:24:48,020
-Now look, page 39.
-Oh, oh...
516
00:24:48,023 --> 00:24:51,003
This part...
517
00:24:51,004 --> 00:24:52,024
[sighs]
518
00:24:53,020 --> 00:24:55,020
[Harry sighs]
519
00:24:55,018 --> 00:24:59,998
-I love making love to you.
-No.
520
00:25:00,004 --> 00:25:03,014
That was not love,
that was just sex.
521
00:25:04,016 --> 00:25:05,016
Charlotte.
522
00:25:05,023 --> 00:25:08,013
You are so beautiful.
523
00:25:08,012 --> 00:25:12,002
Your skin is so soft. So smooth.
524
00:25:12,006 --> 00:25:13,016
[breath]
525
00:25:13,018 --> 00:25:17,998
And you...
Have a hard dick.
526
00:25:18,005 --> 00:25:22,005
Now.
Put your pants on and go.
527
00:25:24,017 --> 00:25:26,007
Is that okay?
528
00:25:26,013 --> 00:25:28,013
Whatever you say.
529
00:25:31,019 --> 00:25:32,999
[Carrie]
There they were...
530
00:25:33,002 --> 00:25:35,022
The bachelorette and the beast.
531
00:25:35,022 --> 00:25:40,022
What about dinner,
Saturday night?
532
00:25:41,015 --> 00:25:44,005
Hey. This is just sex.
533
00:25:44,009 --> 00:25:46,999
We're not a couple,
you're just...
534
00:25:47,004 --> 00:25:50,024
A great fuck. Is that clear?
535
00:25:51,006 --> 00:25:52,006
Clear.
536
00:25:53,013 --> 00:25:54,023
[zipper sound]
537
00:25:54,021 --> 00:25:56,021
[phone ringing]
538
00:25:59,005 --> 00:26:01,015
-Hello?
-[woman] Good morning
it's your wake up call.
539
00:26:01,017 --> 00:26:04,017
-Oh, what time is it?
-7:30.
540
00:26:04,017 --> 00:26:07,007
-What time did I say?
-7:30.
541
00:26:07,013 --> 00:26:11,013
Oh. Okay. Thank you.
542
00:26:13,010 --> 00:26:14,010
Mm.
543
00:26:14,015 --> 00:26:18,995
After my wake up call,
I got my real wake up call.
544
00:26:19,003 --> 00:26:20,003
Thanks to my book,
545
00:26:20,003 --> 00:26:23,003
nothing was ever
going to happen with Big.
546
00:26:28,018 --> 00:26:30,008
Hey.
547
00:26:30,013 --> 00:26:31,023
Where are you going?
548
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,000
I have two book readings
this morning
549
00:26:34,006 --> 00:26:35,996
before I head back
to New York.
550
00:26:37,015 --> 00:26:40,995
Not so fast.
Come here.
551
00:26:41,002 --> 00:26:42,012
[Carrie] Now?
552
00:26:42,010 --> 00:26:46,020
What about last night, all that
talk, all those concerns?
553
00:26:46,018 --> 00:26:48,008
Fuck it.
554
00:26:48,009 --> 00:26:51,999
You'll need material
for the sequel. Hm?
555
00:26:56,011 --> 00:26:58,001
[Carrie]
"Like that freckle on my face
556
00:26:58,005 --> 00:27:00,005
that he once told me he loved.
557
00:27:00,008 --> 00:27:03,008
I could do my best to cover it
during the day,
558
00:27:03,013 --> 00:27:04,023
but at night,
559
00:27:04,021 --> 00:27:08,001
after I washed the
city off my face,
560
00:27:08,003 --> 00:27:09,013
there it was.
561
00:27:09,013 --> 00:27:13,003
A tiny brown dot
near the tip of my lip.
562
00:27:13,005 --> 00:27:14,005
And I wondered
563
00:27:14,015 --> 00:27:19,015
how something so small
could suddenly seem so big."
564
00:27:20,006 --> 00:27:23,006
[applause]
565
00:27:32,002 --> 00:27:34,012
-Here you go.
-[woman] Thank you.
566
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,010
Luggage in the car.
Car at the curb.
567
00:27:39,009 --> 00:27:41,009
Oh, thanks for doing all that.
568
00:27:41,010 --> 00:27:44,000
So? How'd it go with Big?
569
00:27:44,003 --> 00:27:45,023
We had sex.
570
00:27:45,018 --> 00:27:46,998
Hallelujah.
571
00:27:47,003 --> 00:27:50,003
Yeah, but it was not as simple
as I had hoped.
572
00:27:50,005 --> 00:27:52,005
Well, what does that mean?
573
00:27:52,009 --> 00:27:54,999
The question and answer section
of this reading...
574
00:27:55,004 --> 00:27:56,024
is now over.
575
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,010
-I'll tell ya on the train.
-Train? Get real.
576
00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:01,022
American Airlines...
577
00:28:01,020 --> 00:28:04,020
First class. And some Valium.
578
00:28:05,020 --> 00:28:07,010
[giggles]
579
00:28:09,002 --> 00:28:11,022
[Samantha sighs] I cannot wait
to get to New York.
580
00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:13,013
What about the mid-life crisis?
581
00:28:13,015 --> 00:28:15,015
Honey, who's mid-life?
582
00:28:18,011 --> 00:28:21,001
[Carrie] And sometimes,
it's not the journey,
583
00:28:21,003 --> 00:28:22,023
it's the destination.