1 00:00:46,009 --> 00:00:49,009 [vacuum running] 2 00:00:58,022 --> 00:01:02,012 [Carrie] In New York city, it is a statistical fact 3 00:01:02,007 --> 00:01:04,007 that once every seven minutes, 4 00:01:04,016 --> 00:01:06,006 an unsuspecting woman... 5 00:01:06,012 --> 00:01:07,012 [screams] 6 00:01:07,010 --> 00:01:09,000 Shut the fuck up! 7 00:01:09,003 --> 00:01:10,013 [Carrie] ...dates an actor. 8 00:01:10,012 --> 00:01:12,012 Let me go! My husband will be home any minute! 9 00:01:12,012 --> 00:01:15,022 [Carrie] For Samantha, one of the perks of dating Jerry the actor 10 00:01:15,022 --> 00:01:18,022 was getting to stage full-scale fantasy productions. 11 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,010 Please, please, don't hurt me. 12 00:01:20,009 --> 00:01:21,999 I'll do anything, anything! 13 00:01:22,004 --> 00:01:23,024 Just shut the fuck up! 14 00:01:23,019 --> 00:01:26,009 Shut the fuck up! 15 00:01:26,012 --> 00:01:28,022 Oh, you are really good. 16 00:01:28,018 --> 00:01:32,008 I said, shut the fuck up! 17 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,009 No, you shut the fuck up 18 00:01:33,014 --> 00:01:35,014 and fuck me before my husband gets home. 19 00:01:35,014 --> 00:01:37,024 Now! [laughing] 20 00:01:37,018 --> 00:01:40,008 And then he pretended to tie my hands behind my back, 21 00:01:40,014 --> 00:01:42,014 and the whole time he kept screaming, 22 00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:44,014 "Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up!" 23 00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:46,016 I tell you, it is so refreshing 24 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:50,023 to be with someone who likes to fuck outside the box. 25 00:01:50,019 --> 00:01:53,009 And this is my friend Samantha. 26 00:01:53,008 --> 00:01:55,018 The wallflower, right... 27 00:01:56,001 --> 00:01:57,021 That is incredibly offensive. 28 00:01:58,001 --> 00:01:59,021 Violence against women is a very serious issue. 29 00:02:00,001 --> 00:02:03,021 Oh, please, it was a fantasy, fantasies can't be censored. 30 00:02:03,018 --> 00:02:05,008 Actually, I think the supreme court is 31 00:02:05,007 --> 00:02:06,007 working on that right now. 32 00:02:06,016 --> 00:02:08,996 All fantasies are healthy and harmless. 33 00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,003 Don't you agree? 34 00:02:11,004 --> 00:02:13,014 You know, as a guy, I've always been under the impression 35 00:02:13,015 --> 00:02:16,995 that rape or anything in the "rape family" 36 00:02:17,002 --> 00:02:19,022 is just... not a good idea. 37 00:02:20,001 --> 00:02:21,011 -Can I go home now? -[chuckling] 38 00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:23,015 [Carrie] There is no greater sound than your friends laughing 39 00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:24,998 at your new boyfriend's jokes. 40 00:02:25,003 --> 00:02:27,003 Well, that's not the only scenario we play. 41 00:02:27,003 --> 00:02:30,013 Sometimes he's Senator Smith, or Principal Smith... 42 00:02:30,015 --> 00:02:31,995 Cellmate Smith-- 43 00:02:32,002 --> 00:02:33,012 Okay, moving on. 44 00:02:33,009 --> 00:02:36,009 Uh, Miranda, how was your date with the real estate guy? 45 00:02:36,012 --> 00:02:38,002 -[cell phone ringing] -Actually, it wasn't horrible. 46 00:02:38,002 --> 00:02:40,022 -Oh! -He was kind of cute, and funny and... 47 00:02:40,023 --> 00:02:42,023 Hello? 48 00:02:42,020 --> 00:02:46,010 Oh, Dr. Smith, thank you for returning my call. 49 00:02:48,012 --> 00:02:52,002 Excuse me, he thinks I may have the mumps. 50 00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:53,006 Yes, I'm swollen. 51 00:02:53,009 --> 00:02:54,019 Now, that's hot. 52 00:02:54,018 --> 00:02:56,008 [laughing] 53 00:02:56,012 --> 00:02:58,002 So how did the date end? 54 00:02:58,005 --> 00:03:00,005 Um, he walked me home-- 55 00:03:00,016 --> 00:03:02,996 I'm sorry, are you maxed-out on girl-talk? 56 00:03:03,005 --> 00:03:04,005 No, no, no, I'm good. 57 00:03:04,012 --> 00:03:05,022 -I'll let you know. -Okay. 58 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,020 So, he kissed me goodnight at the door, 59 00:03:08,019 --> 00:03:09,999 I invited him up, 60 00:03:10,002 --> 00:03:12,012 he couldn't because he had an early meeting. 61 00:03:12,007 --> 00:03:14,007 We kissed again, then he said he'd call. 62 00:03:14,015 --> 00:03:17,005 Two kisses, very promising. 63 00:03:17,011 --> 00:03:19,011 You think, even though he didn't come up? 64 00:03:19,012 --> 00:03:21,012 Definitely, it means he likes you, 65 00:03:21,013 --> 00:03:22,023 but he wants to take it slow. 66 00:03:22,019 --> 00:03:23,019 That's nice. 67 00:03:23,022 --> 00:03:25,022 Berger, what do you think? 68 00:03:27,015 --> 00:03:28,015 You really want to know? 69 00:03:28,019 --> 00:03:31,009 Please, I would love to have a man's opinion for a change. 70 00:03:31,013 --> 00:03:34,003 Alright, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it for you. 71 00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,015 He's just not that into you. 72 00:03:35,023 --> 00:03:37,003 [squeaks] 73 00:03:38,021 --> 00:03:40,011 That's not true! 74 00:03:40,008 --> 00:03:41,018 Don't listen to him! 75 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,021 No, no, I'm-- I'm intrigued. 76 00:03:43,021 --> 00:03:45,011 Elaborate. 77 00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:48,000 Look, I'm sorry, but when a guy's really into you, 78 00:03:48,004 --> 00:03:51,004 he's coming upstairs, meeting or no meeting. 79 00:03:51,004 --> 00:03:53,004 Oh, that is ludicrous. 80 00:03:53,004 --> 00:03:55,004 What about extenuating circumstances? 81 00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:57,012 What about you're stressed out, you're on deadline, 82 00:03:57,014 --> 00:03:58,024 you have a migraine? 83 00:03:58,021 --> 00:04:01,021 Or, a lot of guys are afraid of getting their feelings hurt, 84 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,000 and they don't want to ruin a friendship. 85 00:04:04,003 --> 00:04:06,023 Or they're freaked out by their own feelings. 86 00:04:07,001 --> 00:04:10,011 There's a lot of push-pull out there, a lot of mixed messages. 87 00:04:10,015 --> 00:04:12,015 Yeah, I'd have to say that's all code for: 88 00:04:12,023 --> 00:04:14,013 he's just not that into you. 89 00:04:14,011 --> 00:04:16,021 I'm sorry, but with guys, it's very simple, 90 00:04:16,017 --> 00:04:18,007 if we're into you, we're coming upstairs, 91 00:04:18,012 --> 00:04:22,002 we're booking the next date. There are no mixed messages. 92 00:04:22,005 --> 00:04:24,005 No mixed messages? But-- 93 00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:27,020 I've spent my whole life deciphering mixed messages. 94 00:04:27,023 --> 00:04:29,023 I've made a whole career of it. 95 00:04:29,021 --> 00:04:30,021 Wow. 96 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:36,019 He's just not that into me. 97 00:04:36,018 --> 00:04:38,018 Oh, honey, ignore this person, 98 00:04:38,017 --> 00:04:41,007 he doesn't know what he's talking about. 99 00:04:41,007 --> 00:04:43,007 You're fired. 100 00:04:43,009 --> 00:04:44,009 Look, if he's not into you, 101 00:04:44,014 --> 00:04:46,024 the guy's obviously a weenie, so-- 102 00:04:46,017 --> 00:04:48,007 No, no, I love it. 103 00:04:48,009 --> 00:04:50,999 It is the most liberating thing I have ever heard. 104 00:04:51,006 --> 00:04:53,006 Think how much time and therapy I could have 105 00:04:53,012 --> 00:04:56,012 saved over the last 20 years if I had known this. 106 00:04:56,007 --> 00:04:58,997 I still think the real estate guy is gonna call. 107 00:04:59,003 --> 00:05:01,013 Yeah, I think you've got an uncomfortable e-mail 108 00:05:01,008 --> 00:05:02,018 coming your way, you know? 109 00:05:02,017 --> 00:05:04,017 Something like, "Sorry I haven't called, 110 00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:07,010 I'm in a place in the world where they don't have phones." 111 00:05:07,011 --> 00:05:08,021 [laughing] 112 00:05:08,023 --> 00:05:10,013 [mouthing] I love him. 113 00:05:10,015 --> 00:05:12,005 [Carrie] The best part of a night out with your friends 114 00:05:12,014 --> 00:05:14,024 is talking about them all the way home. 115 00:05:14,018 --> 00:05:15,998 Charlotte is a trip, 116 00:05:16,006 --> 00:05:18,006 Samantha's hilarious, they all are-- 117 00:05:18,007 --> 00:05:19,017 They thought you were hilarious. 118 00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:21,021 Miranda, how do you not love Miranda? 119 00:05:21,018 --> 00:05:23,008 I know, I love her. 120 00:05:23,016 --> 00:05:25,996 And I love that you loved her. 121 00:05:26,002 --> 00:05:28,022 Oh God, she loved you, they all did. 122 00:05:28,018 --> 00:05:30,008 And they're a tough crowd. 123 00:05:30,013 --> 00:05:31,023 I'm a tough crowd. 124 00:05:31,018 --> 00:05:33,018 Okay, your choice: 125 00:05:33,021 --> 00:05:36,021 Fudgesicle or Nutty Buddy? 126 00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:39,010 Oh, my God, I wanted this one, 127 00:05:39,008 --> 00:05:41,018 we're perfect! 128 00:05:41,018 --> 00:05:43,008 Oh, and when you went to the men's room, they were all-- 129 00:05:43,014 --> 00:05:44,024 Stop. 130 00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:46,020 -What? Am I talking too much? -No, I want to say something, 131 00:05:46,019 --> 00:05:48,999 and I don't want you to say anything back, okay? 132 00:05:49,004 --> 00:05:50,014 You promise? 133 00:05:52,015 --> 00:05:54,015 I love you. 134 00:05:54,018 --> 00:05:56,018 I love you, too, and I'm not saying it 135 00:05:56,019 --> 00:05:57,999 because you said it to me, I promise. 136 00:05:58,003 --> 00:05:59,013 I was gonna say it before, 137 00:05:59,012 --> 00:06:01,022 I've been thinking it the whole night-- 138 00:06:01,017 --> 00:06:02,997 Mmm... 139 00:06:03,003 --> 00:06:04,003 I love you. 140 00:06:04,005 --> 00:06:06,005 I just wanted to say it again on my own. 141 00:06:07,022 --> 00:06:09,022 [Carrie] In my euphoric state, 142 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,010 I knew there was only one kind of person who could tolerate me. 143 00:06:13,015 --> 00:06:14,015 I'm in love, too! 144 00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:16,003 I'm so happy for you. 145 00:06:16,002 --> 00:06:18,012 It's the fastest I've ever said, "I love you," 146 00:06:18,007 --> 00:06:20,017 but I literally could not hold it in my mouth. 147 00:06:20,019 --> 00:06:21,019 And why should you? 148 00:06:21,018 --> 00:06:23,008 There's no reason, you're in love. 149 00:06:23,009 --> 00:06:24,019 I'm in love. 150 00:06:24,018 --> 00:06:27,018 I love Harry so much it hurts. 151 00:06:27,017 --> 00:06:28,997 Sometimes I look at Berger, 152 00:06:29,006 --> 00:06:30,016 and he's so cute, 153 00:06:30,017 --> 00:06:33,017 I just want to squeeze his face off. 154 00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:35,017 This Friday night is my first official Shabbas, 155 00:06:36,001 --> 00:06:40,001 so I am cooking a big, traditional dinner for Harry. 156 00:06:40,006 --> 00:06:41,996 I'm so excited to finally be a real Jew. 157 00:06:42,004 --> 00:06:44,014 [butcher] Here's your brisket, lady. 158 00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:46,012 Oh... Listen, listen, I said "lean." 159 00:06:46,013 --> 00:06:48,013 [butcher] Sixty-four, sixty-four here. 160 00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,013 [Carrie] Just when I thought my week couldn't get any better, 161 00:06:55,011 --> 00:06:59,011 I came home to find a little surprise from Berger. 162 00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:16,996 From Berger's book, to Samantha's books. 163 00:07:18,010 --> 00:07:20,000 [sighs] I'm sorry, Ms. Jones, 164 00:07:20,003 --> 00:07:22,013 but you owe the U.S. government 165 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:24,019 $300,000 in back taxes. 166 00:07:25,001 --> 00:07:28,011 But, auditor Smith, I don't have that kind of money. 167 00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:31,020 What are you going to do, take the shirt off my back? 168 00:07:33,012 --> 00:07:35,002 Take the shirt off my back. 169 00:07:37,017 --> 00:07:41,007 Oh! Ah! 170 00:07:41,015 --> 00:07:44,005 This is what I call "internal revenue"! 171 00:07:47,011 --> 00:07:48,021 [Carrie] In my fantasy, 172 00:07:48,017 --> 00:07:50,017 Hurricane Pandora would be brilliant. 173 00:07:51,019 --> 00:07:53,009 In reality... 174 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,020 It was. 175 00:07:56,021 --> 00:07:58,021 [knocking] 176 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,000 Alright, if you're still not finished, 177 00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:05,014 it's all over between us. 178 00:08:05,011 --> 00:08:08,001 I just finished it, just this minute, I swear. 179 00:08:08,002 --> 00:08:09,012 What, did you stop for meals? 180 00:08:09,012 --> 00:08:11,022 Hey, it's been two days. 181 00:08:11,018 --> 00:08:13,018 -It's 400 pages. -Yeah, well, 182 00:08:13,021 --> 00:08:15,011 I can't date a slow reader. 183 00:08:15,014 --> 00:08:16,024 Are you done? 184 00:08:16,022 --> 00:08:17,022 The question is, are you done? 185 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,010 Yes, I'm done, and if you would shut your trap, 186 00:08:21,009 --> 00:08:23,999 I could tell you... 187 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:28,014 That I love, love, loved it. 188 00:08:28,016 --> 00:08:30,006 I loved it! 189 00:08:30,016 --> 00:08:32,016 Except for one huge problem. 190 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,010 You have your leading lady running all over town 191 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,015 wearing a scrunchie. 192 00:08:38,013 --> 00:08:40,013 A scrunchie! 193 00:08:40,007 --> 00:08:42,007 Uh, the hair thing? 194 00:08:42,016 --> 00:08:43,996 What's wrong with that? 195 00:08:44,003 --> 00:08:45,023 Well, nothing unless you're writing about women 196 00:08:45,019 --> 00:08:47,019 on the island of Manhattan, in which case, uh... 197 00:08:47,018 --> 00:08:49,008 Where do I begin? 198 00:08:49,011 --> 00:08:51,001 What are you talking about? 199 00:08:51,003 --> 00:08:52,013 A lot of New York women wear scrunchies. 200 00:08:52,012 --> 00:08:55,022 Uh, in the bathroom, maybe when they're washing their faces. 201 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,020 You're full of shit, I see women every single day, 202 00:08:58,021 --> 00:09:01,011 all over New York city, they're wearing scrunchies. 203 00:09:01,011 --> 00:09:04,001 Okay, but here's the thing, here's my crucial point, 204 00:09:04,004 --> 00:09:07,014 no woman who works at W Magazine, and lives on Perry Street, 205 00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:11,003 would be caught dead at a hip, downtown restaurant, 206 00:09:11,005 --> 00:09:14,995 wearing a scrunchie! 207 00:09:15,005 --> 00:09:16,995 Man, it's a good thing I came along, 208 00:09:17,006 --> 00:09:18,996 because you may know the fellas, 209 00:09:19,006 --> 00:09:21,016 but I know the ladies. 210 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,019 Great. 211 00:09:22,022 --> 00:09:25,002 Okay, can I read you my favorite part? 212 00:09:25,006 --> 00:09:27,006 No, I'm done talking about the book. 213 00:09:28,007 --> 00:09:30,007 Uh, we ordering in? 214 00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:33,016 [horn honking] 215 00:09:33,021 --> 00:09:36,001 He completely shut down. 216 00:09:36,002 --> 00:09:36,022 Why? 217 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,000 Why did I have to get up on my sassy horse 218 00:09:39,006 --> 00:09:40,006 and ruin everything? 219 00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:42,012 Yeah, sass'll bite you on the ass. 220 00:09:42,008 --> 00:09:44,008 And the thing that kills me is I love the book. 221 00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:46,006 I could have gushed about it all night. 222 00:09:46,007 --> 00:09:47,997 Why did I have to go straight to the negative 223 00:09:48,006 --> 00:09:49,006 and just pick at it? 224 00:09:49,016 --> 00:09:51,006 Because you're in a relationship. 225 00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:52,998 I used to pick at Steve about everything, 226 00:09:53,006 --> 00:09:55,016 the way he held his fork, his grammar, 227 00:09:55,021 --> 00:09:57,011 his dirty fingernails... 228 00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:58,010 Used to? 229 00:09:58,007 --> 00:10:00,007 He has a new girlfriend for that now. 230 00:10:00,010 --> 00:10:02,000 Debbie! 231 00:10:02,003 --> 00:10:03,013 Do you think Debbie picks at Steve? 232 00:10:03,014 --> 00:10:06,014 Of course. All women pick, it's in our DNA. 233 00:10:06,012 --> 00:10:08,012 It's our little way of showing that we care. 234 00:10:08,012 --> 00:10:10,012 Well, I think I made it abundantly clear 235 00:10:10,008 --> 00:10:12,008 just how much I care. 236 00:10:12,010 --> 00:10:13,020 Well, you have to work it out with him. 237 00:10:13,022 --> 00:10:16,012 Berger has single-handedly changed my life. 238 00:10:16,013 --> 00:10:18,013 I still haven't heard from the real estate guy, 239 00:10:18,013 --> 00:10:21,003 but it's fine, he's just not that into me! 240 00:10:21,002 --> 00:10:23,012 I think right now, Berger's just not that into me. 241 00:10:23,010 --> 00:10:24,020 So talk to him about it. 242 00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:27,021 You two seem like you could laugh your way through anything. 243 00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:30,010 Yeah, it's that kind of thinking that got me into this 244 00:10:30,015 --> 00:10:32,015 in the first place. 245 00:10:34,014 --> 00:10:37,014 [Carrie] One of the signs that a female gorilla is in love 246 00:10:37,007 --> 00:10:39,017 is that she can be seen picking nits 247 00:10:39,021 --> 00:10:42,011 off her male companion. 248 00:10:49,009 --> 00:10:50,009 And yet in humans, 249 00:10:50,012 --> 00:10:53,012 nitpicking can ruin a perfectly good evening, 250 00:10:53,009 --> 00:10:56,009 not to mention a relationship. 251 00:10:56,007 --> 00:10:57,997 Women are known to be more verbal than men, 252 00:10:58,006 --> 00:11:01,016 but when does criticism that's constructive 253 00:11:02,001 --> 00:11:04,011 become destructive? 254 00:11:04,007 --> 00:11:05,017 Are there times when the ladies 255 00:11:05,021 --> 00:11:08,011 should just shut the fuck up? 256 00:11:13,012 --> 00:11:18,002 The next morning, another woman was making too much noise. 257 00:11:19,008 --> 00:11:21,018 What on earth is all that banging? 258 00:11:22,001 --> 00:11:23,011 Oh, good morning, Mrs. Collier. 259 00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:25,995 I'm a Jew now. How are you? 260 00:11:34,007 --> 00:11:35,017 -I know he'll call eventually. -Yeah. 261 00:11:35,021 --> 00:11:38,011 He's just going through a really hard time right now. 262 00:11:38,013 --> 00:11:40,003 -Mm-hmm. -His boss got laid off... 263 00:11:40,004 --> 00:11:41,014 [Carrie] Later, on her lunch hour, 264 00:11:41,015 --> 00:11:43,005 Miranda checked her Blackberry. 265 00:11:43,015 --> 00:11:44,005 There it was. 266 00:11:44,016 --> 00:11:48,006 The uncomfortable email Berger had predicted. 267 00:11:48,014 --> 00:11:51,014 -[Marcy] Yeah. -[Pam] Then when they get busy, it's like, "Oh, I can't call. 268 00:11:51,016 --> 00:11:53,016 Oh, I'm so stressed, I can't call you." 269 00:11:53,017 --> 00:11:55,007 -[Marcy] Yeah... -[Pam] But he's gonna call. 270 00:11:55,009 --> 00:11:56,999 [Pam] And his kitchen's being rewired. 271 00:11:57,003 --> 00:11:58,013 [Marcy] It's all so complicated. 272 00:11:58,008 --> 00:11:59,998 -Yeah, that's like a two day process. -At least. 273 00:12:00,006 --> 00:12:01,016 -They have to remove everything. -[Marcy] I know. 274 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:05,011 Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation, 275 00:12:05,013 --> 00:12:07,013 and I hope what I'm gonna say 276 00:12:07,009 --> 00:12:10,019 will save you a lot of time and energy. 277 00:12:11,016 --> 00:12:14,016 He's just not that into you. 278 00:12:14,019 --> 00:12:15,999 So, move on. 279 00:12:16,019 --> 00:12:18,009 Have a great day. 280 00:12:18,013 --> 00:12:21,013 [Carrie] Having passed on the gospel to these New York women, 281 00:12:21,011 --> 00:12:23,011 Miranda could only hope 282 00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:25,018 they would spread the word far and wide. 283 00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:27,020 -Bitch. -Who the hell asked her? 284 00:12:28,001 --> 00:12:28,021 Not me. 285 00:12:29,001 --> 00:12:30,021 -I know you didn't. -Crazy people in New York. 286 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,000 -Bitch, he is so gonna call you. -I know! 287 00:12:33,006 --> 00:12:35,996 [Carrie] And as two women's fantasies were being shattered, 288 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:38,006 another's were being brought to life. 289 00:12:38,016 --> 00:12:40,006 [sighing] 290 00:12:41,014 --> 00:12:42,024 Samantha Jones? 291 00:12:44,006 --> 00:12:45,006 Detective Smith. 292 00:12:45,013 --> 00:12:47,003 Department of Homicide. 293 00:12:47,005 --> 00:12:50,005 I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you some questions, ma'am. 294 00:12:50,012 --> 00:12:52,012 Why, certainly, detective. 295 00:12:52,010 --> 00:12:55,010 Am I in some kind of trouble? 296 00:12:55,010 --> 00:12:58,000 -Two martinis please, straight up. -[bartender] Yes, ma'am. 297 00:12:58,003 --> 00:12:59,023 Actually, make mine a seltzer. 298 00:12:59,021 --> 00:13:02,001 Oh, of course, you're working. 299 00:13:03,011 --> 00:13:05,011 But, you know, detective, 300 00:13:05,014 --> 00:13:08,014 one little drink won't kill you. 301 00:13:08,012 --> 00:13:10,012 He'll have a martini. 302 00:13:10,007 --> 00:13:12,007 No, it's a seltzer. 303 00:13:12,015 --> 00:13:14,005 Seriously, Samantha, I'm in A.A. 304 00:13:14,016 --> 00:13:15,996 [Carrie] That sobered Samantha right up. 305 00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:19,013 I was totally, like, fucked up for, like, eight years in Seattle, it's-- 306 00:13:19,016 --> 00:13:21,996 You know, I just realized I have a presentation 307 00:13:22,006 --> 00:13:24,016 first thing in the morning, so... 308 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:27,013 Sorry. 309 00:13:30,008 --> 00:13:33,018 [Carrie] Jerry had taken the fantasy into dangerous territory... 310 00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:36,014 Reality. 311 00:13:36,011 --> 00:13:37,011 [bartender] Two martinis. 312 00:13:37,015 --> 00:13:40,005 No, dude, I said a seltzer. 313 00:13:40,008 --> 00:13:43,008 [Carrie] Meanwhile, Charlotte was hard at work on her fantasy role... 314 00:13:43,013 --> 00:13:44,023 Martha Jewart. 315 00:13:44,019 --> 00:13:47,999 Okay, the kugel's in the oven, the matzoh balls are boiling. 316 00:13:48,002 --> 00:13:49,002 It's three hours 'til Shabbas, 317 00:13:49,005 --> 00:13:50,015 I think we should start braiding the challah. 318 00:13:50,023 --> 00:13:53,003 Doesn't Shabbas mean "day of rest," 319 00:13:53,002 --> 00:13:55,002 i.e. "ordering in"? 320 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,012 We're wearing aprons. 321 00:13:56,015 --> 00:13:58,005 Do you own aprons? 322 00:13:58,011 --> 00:13:59,011 The challah! 323 00:13:59,007 --> 00:14:02,007 Okay, okay, you don't have to "holla." 324 00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,005 [Charlotte] Miranda, like this. 325 00:14:04,012 --> 00:14:08,022 Oh... I don't know what I'm doing. 326 00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:10,011 Why did you call me over here? 327 00:14:10,013 --> 00:14:12,013 Because I didn't want to spend the rest of the week saying, 328 00:14:12,016 --> 00:14:13,996 "Guess you had to be there." 329 00:14:14,002 --> 00:14:16,022 Hey, did Harry's friend ever call you? 330 00:14:16,017 --> 00:14:18,997 Yes, as a matter of fact, I'm seeing him tonight. 331 00:14:19,003 --> 00:14:19,023 [Carrie] Ooh... 332 00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:21,021 You think I can get away with this outfit? 333 00:14:21,017 --> 00:14:23,017 Definitely, the apron softens you. 334 00:14:23,023 --> 00:14:26,013 Can you read me what's next after it's braided? 335 00:14:26,014 --> 00:14:30,024 Hmm, uh... Oh. 336 00:14:30,018 --> 00:14:33,008 [Charlotte] With her high school boyfriend, Charlotte doodled, 337 00:14:33,015 --> 00:14:35,005 with Harry, she "Jew-dled." 338 00:14:35,013 --> 00:14:38,023 Um, I think it calls for 339 00:14:38,018 --> 00:14:42,008 "two cups of Mrs. Harry York-Goldenblatt..." 340 00:14:42,008 --> 00:14:43,018 -[chuckling] -Did I miss something? 341 00:14:43,021 --> 00:14:45,011 Did you get married while I was at work? 342 00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:48,024 No, but that's where we're headed. 343 00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:50,017 You forgot Charlotte Yorkenblatt. 344 00:14:51,001 --> 00:14:53,021 Actually, I've been making some calls, 345 00:14:53,021 --> 00:14:56,011 and I was wondering how you both felt about November? 346 00:14:56,007 --> 00:14:57,997 November, for what? 347 00:14:58,004 --> 00:15:00,004 For our wedding. 348 00:15:00,005 --> 00:15:02,005 Most of the synagogues are booked through the fall. 349 00:15:02,016 --> 00:15:04,016 November works for me. 350 00:15:04,017 --> 00:15:06,017 Has Harry even proposed yet? 351 00:15:06,018 --> 00:15:07,018 Miranda. 352 00:15:07,017 --> 00:15:09,017 No, but he will. 353 00:15:09,021 --> 00:15:13,011 Aren't you counting your matzoh balls before they rise? 354 00:15:13,008 --> 00:15:14,008 Miranda... 355 00:15:14,011 --> 00:15:15,011 Zip the lip. 356 00:15:15,016 --> 00:15:17,006 Harry and I have an understanding about our future. 357 00:15:17,011 --> 00:15:19,001 We don't have to talk about it all the time. 358 00:15:19,006 --> 00:15:20,996 It's... It's b'shert. 359 00:15:21,006 --> 00:15:23,006 I don't know what that means. 360 00:15:23,011 --> 00:15:25,021 It's meant to be. 361 00:15:27,006 --> 00:15:28,996 I would never have gone through all this trouble 362 00:15:29,002 --> 00:15:31,022 if I didn't know for sure that we were getting married. 363 00:15:31,018 --> 00:15:34,998 I'm sorry, I just don't want to see you get hurt again. 364 00:15:40,012 --> 00:15:43,002 [Carrie] And ever since her reality check with Jerry, 365 00:15:43,006 --> 00:15:47,016 Samantha had no interest in seeing him again. 366 00:15:47,019 --> 00:15:50,019 However, when a certain government official called, 367 00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:53,020 she was more than happy to take a meeting. 368 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:57,000 [suspenseful music] 369 00:15:57,004 --> 00:16:01,024 Secret Service agent Smith, if you're here, 370 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,020 who's protecting the president? 371 00:16:04,019 --> 00:16:06,009 You know, I changed my mind. 372 00:16:06,012 --> 00:16:09,022 I thought of something even hotter for us to play. 373 00:16:09,017 --> 00:16:11,007 Hotter than secret service sluts? 374 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:12,022 -Yeah. -Oh! 375 00:16:14,001 --> 00:16:15,011 I'm me, 376 00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:16,017 you're you. 377 00:16:16,023 --> 00:16:17,023 Go. 378 00:16:19,008 --> 00:16:20,008 Oh. 379 00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,023 You know, when I told you the other night I was in A.A., 380 00:16:22,019 --> 00:16:24,009 you bolted. 381 00:16:24,011 --> 00:16:25,021 What's up with that? 382 00:16:25,019 --> 00:16:27,009 Jerry... 383 00:16:27,007 --> 00:16:29,007 It is Jerry, isn't it? 384 00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:31,020 I'm afraid we want different things. 385 00:16:31,022 --> 00:16:34,012 You want to tell me all about you, 386 00:16:34,014 --> 00:16:37,024 and I don't want you to tell me all about you. 387 00:16:37,019 --> 00:16:40,019 It spoils the fantasy. 388 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:41,020 That's harsh. 389 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,011 Yeah, I am harsh. 390 00:16:44,007 --> 00:16:47,007 I'm also demanding, stubborn, self-sufficient, 391 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,007 and always right. 392 00:16:48,013 --> 00:16:50,013 In bed, at the office, 393 00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:51,018 and everywhere else. 394 00:16:51,022 --> 00:16:52,022 I already knew that. 395 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,000 And that's just a little bit about me. 396 00:16:56,004 --> 00:16:58,024 Alright, cool. 397 00:16:58,022 --> 00:17:00,022 Let me tell you one little thing about me. 398 00:17:00,023 --> 00:17:02,013 See, this is exactly what I-- 399 00:17:02,016 --> 00:17:05,006 At least let me tell you my last name. 400 00:17:05,010 --> 00:17:06,010 It's Jerrod. 401 00:17:09,020 --> 00:17:11,020 Your parents named you Jerry Jerrod? 402 00:17:11,022 --> 00:17:14,022 -Yeah. -No wonder you drank. 403 00:17:14,019 --> 00:17:15,999 Right? 404 00:17:16,003 --> 00:17:17,023 [Carrie] There would still be accountants 405 00:17:17,019 --> 00:17:19,009 and undercover agents in their future. 406 00:17:19,014 --> 00:17:21,014 But that night, Samantha and Jerry 407 00:17:21,011 --> 00:17:23,021 got off on playing themselves. 408 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,020 Meanwhile, I was looking forward 409 00:17:26,017 --> 00:17:29,007 to putting the scrunchie moment behind us... 410 00:17:33,009 --> 00:17:37,019 Unfortunately, it was staring us in the face. 411 00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:43,999 Okay, I'm sorry to have to do this, 412 00:17:44,005 --> 00:17:47,995 but I do believe we are in the presence of a scrunchie. 413 00:17:48,022 --> 00:17:50,012 I also do believe, 414 00:17:50,007 --> 00:17:51,017 and correct me if I'm wrong, 415 00:17:51,017 --> 00:17:53,007 that we are in New York City proper. 416 00:17:53,016 --> 00:17:54,016 Mm. 417 00:17:54,017 --> 00:17:57,007 This woman does not appear to be washing her face, 418 00:17:57,013 --> 00:17:59,003 she appears to be standing on line 419 00:17:59,006 --> 00:18:02,006 at a hip, downtown restaurant. 420 00:18:02,011 --> 00:18:07,011 So, kinda kills your New York-woman theory. 421 00:18:07,008 --> 00:18:09,008 Ah, tough break, Bradshaw. 422 00:18:11,004 --> 00:18:12,024 She's not from New York. 423 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,010 What? 424 00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:15,996 It doesn't matter. 425 00:18:16,006 --> 00:18:17,016 Did they say how long the wait was gonna be? 426 00:18:17,022 --> 00:18:19,002 Excuse me. 427 00:18:19,002 --> 00:18:20,012 Hi, I'm sorry to bother you, 428 00:18:20,013 --> 00:18:23,013 we were just wondering what part of New York you live in? 429 00:18:23,010 --> 00:18:24,010 [laughs] 430 00:18:24,012 --> 00:18:25,012 Who, me? 431 00:18:25,010 --> 00:18:28,010 [laughing] Oh, gosh! 432 00:18:28,008 --> 00:18:31,998 I am from Macon, Georgia. 433 00:18:32,003 --> 00:18:34,013 But thanks, you made my whole day! 434 00:18:34,016 --> 00:18:35,016 Honey, did you hear that? 435 00:18:35,022 --> 00:18:38,022 These people think I live in New York. 436 00:18:39,001 --> 00:18:43,011 I'm so hungry, when are they gonna let us sit down? 437 00:18:43,008 --> 00:18:45,018 [Carrie] Downtown, over curried lamb and chutney, 438 00:18:45,021 --> 00:18:48,011 Miranda found herself pleasantly surprised 439 00:18:48,007 --> 00:18:49,997 by Charlotte's matchmaking skills. 440 00:18:50,002 --> 00:18:53,002 Whew, that was one spicy biryani. 441 00:18:53,002 --> 00:18:57,012 I know, I've lost all feeling in my tongue. 442 00:18:57,007 --> 00:18:59,017 Listen, I know a great place around the corner 443 00:18:59,017 --> 00:19:01,017 if you want to get coffee. 444 00:19:01,019 --> 00:19:03,009 Oh, uh, I... 445 00:19:03,007 --> 00:19:06,007 You know, I wish I could, but I really... 446 00:19:07,004 --> 00:19:09,004 should call it a night. 447 00:19:09,002 --> 00:19:12,002 Hey, it's fine, I understand. 448 00:19:12,002 --> 00:19:13,012 You're just not that into me. 449 00:19:13,011 --> 00:19:15,011 And it's okay. I get it! 450 00:19:15,013 --> 00:19:20,023 No, no, no, I like you, I just... really have to go. 451 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:21,020 Paul. 452 00:19:21,022 --> 00:19:23,012 C'mon, you can stop lying. 453 00:19:23,015 --> 00:19:24,015 I am not lying. 454 00:19:24,019 --> 00:19:27,009 Come on, be a man, tell the truth! 455 00:19:29,013 --> 00:19:31,023 I have diarrhea. 456 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:36,000 [Carrie] Apparently, there is one rare exception to Berger's rule. 457 00:19:36,002 --> 00:19:38,022 And it often involves curry. 458 00:19:38,019 --> 00:19:40,999 After dinner, Berger ate banana cream pie, 459 00:19:41,004 --> 00:19:42,024 and I ate my words. 460 00:19:42,018 --> 00:19:43,008 Another thing I loved 461 00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:45,016 was the way you used the sister's phone calls 462 00:19:45,020 --> 00:19:47,010 as little land-posts-- 463 00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:52,010 I mean, landmarks or miles-- mile-posts? I don't-- 464 00:19:52,007 --> 00:19:55,007 Anyway, I just loved how those sort of punctuated the story... 465 00:19:55,009 --> 00:19:57,999 It was just a really nice touch. 466 00:20:00,006 --> 00:20:02,016 Oh, my God, the introduction! 467 00:20:02,023 --> 00:20:03,023 Brilliant. 468 00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:06,000 You're instantly on this guy's side, 469 00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:08,015 even though he's a complete mess. 470 00:20:08,022 --> 00:20:12,002 You know, you really just nailed him. 471 00:20:18,022 --> 00:20:21,022 While I was working overtime... 472 00:20:21,021 --> 00:20:24,021 Charlotte's work was finally coming to an end. 473 00:20:24,021 --> 00:20:26,011 Harry, you can come on in now. 474 00:20:26,009 --> 00:20:28,009 Sorry it's so late. 475 00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:29,009 What's all this? 476 00:20:29,013 --> 00:20:30,023 Well, since it's our first Shabbas together, 477 00:20:30,022 --> 00:20:32,022 I wanted to make it a little special. 478 00:20:33,001 --> 00:20:34,021 "A little"? This is phenomenal. 479 00:20:34,021 --> 00:20:38,021 I just need to get the candles and then we can say the b'rucha. 480 00:20:42,012 --> 00:20:45,012 [announcer on TV] Carlos Silva now in the Philly bullpen... 481 00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:49,010 Roland pinches in at third. Cedenos squares, bunts foul. 482 00:20:49,012 --> 00:20:51,012 Oh, come on! 483 00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:54,006 [announcer on TV] ...sacrifice, so he was trying to drop one down... 484 00:20:54,015 --> 00:20:57,005 Honey, please turn that off, we're about to eat. 485 00:21:02,014 --> 00:21:04,024 Mmm! Smells incredible. 486 00:21:04,018 --> 00:21:09,008 And you made brisket, I cannot believe you made brisket! 487 00:21:18,014 --> 00:21:23,014 ♪ Baruch ata adonai ♪ 488 00:21:23,007 --> 00:21:27,997 ♪ Elo-hay-nu me-lech ha-olam ♪ 489 00:21:28,003 --> 00:21:33,003 ♪ Ah-sher kid-ish-anu bi-mitzvo-tav ♪ 490 00:21:33,006 --> 00:21:37,006 ♪ Vet-ziv-anu li-had-lik-ner ♪ 491 00:21:37,014 --> 00:21:41,014 ♪ Shel shabbat ♪ 492 00:21:45,016 --> 00:21:46,006 Good Shabbas. 493 00:21:46,015 --> 00:21:49,005 Good Shabbas, sweetie. 494 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,010 Mmm, I cannot believe you made all this. 495 00:21:54,015 --> 00:21:56,005 What did I do to deserve you? 496 00:21:56,014 --> 00:21:57,024 I feel the same way. 497 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,010 I've been thinking about blessings, 498 00:22:00,016 --> 00:22:03,016 and you are such a blessing to me... 499 00:22:03,020 --> 00:22:05,010 What are you...? 500 00:22:07,010 --> 00:22:08,020 Why is the TV on? 501 00:22:08,019 --> 00:22:09,019 It's on mute. 502 00:22:10,001 --> 00:22:10,021 Mute? 503 00:22:10,023 --> 00:22:13,013 Mute? We're having Shabbas dinner. 504 00:22:13,007 --> 00:22:14,017 It's a big game, honey. 505 00:22:14,019 --> 00:22:15,019 Turn it off. 506 00:22:15,019 --> 00:22:17,019 I want you to turn it off right this minute. 507 00:22:17,020 --> 00:22:18,020 But it's-- 508 00:22:18,020 --> 00:22:19,020 Off now! 509 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,010 Let me just watch this one pitch. 510 00:22:21,011 --> 00:22:24,021 I gave up Christ for you and you can't give up the Mets? 511 00:22:24,020 --> 00:22:26,020 It's gonna be a long life if you keep that up. 512 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,010 "I gave up Christ for you, take out the trash." 513 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:31,995 "I gave up Christ for you, pick up your socks." 514 00:22:33,016 --> 00:22:35,006 Do you have any idea how hard I worked 515 00:22:35,014 --> 00:22:36,024 to prepare this meal for you? 516 00:22:36,023 --> 00:22:41,013 I went to Zabar's every day this week. 517 00:22:41,007 --> 00:22:43,007 I had to make 30 matzoh balls 518 00:22:43,011 --> 00:22:47,011 just to get four that were the right size and shape, 519 00:22:47,007 --> 00:22:50,017 not to mention the months of studying and cramming 520 00:22:50,018 --> 00:22:52,018 like a maniac to convert to Judaism. 521 00:22:52,019 --> 00:22:54,019 And what have you done for me? 522 00:22:54,020 --> 00:22:58,010 Set the date! 523 00:22:58,009 --> 00:22:59,019 What are you talking about? 524 00:22:59,021 --> 00:23:02,001 You said you wouldn't marry me unless I was Jewish, 525 00:23:02,005 --> 00:23:03,015 and now I'm Jewish. 526 00:23:03,018 --> 00:23:05,008 Set the date! 527 00:23:05,010 --> 00:23:07,020 You're acting crazy, do you hear yourself? 528 00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:10,019 Do you know how lucky you are to have me? 529 00:23:10,019 --> 00:23:11,999 Do you know how we look? 530 00:23:12,002 --> 00:23:14,022 Do you know what people out there think 531 00:23:14,020 --> 00:23:16,020 when they see us together, do you? 532 00:23:16,017 --> 00:23:20,007 Yeah, I know what people are thinking. 533 00:23:20,015 --> 00:23:22,015 I just didn't think you were one of 'em. 534 00:23:22,023 --> 00:23:26,013 [Carrie] Finally, it was Charlotte who was on mute. 535 00:23:26,010 --> 00:23:28,010 I don't need this. 536 00:23:28,023 --> 00:23:30,023 I'm leaving. 537 00:23:34,004 --> 00:23:36,014 To think, I bought a ring. 538 00:23:41,010 --> 00:23:43,010 [Carrie] The Mets won that night, five to four. 539 00:23:43,010 --> 00:23:47,010 But Charlotte lost everything that mattered to her. 540 00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:49,020 Oh, I just remembered another hilarious part. 541 00:23:49,019 --> 00:23:52,999 And later, on the corner of 73rd and "Mea Culpa..." 542 00:23:53,004 --> 00:23:56,024 Um, you know, the scene where the dishwasher guy 543 00:23:56,020 --> 00:23:58,010 is spooning up the Rice Chex 544 00:23:58,010 --> 00:23:59,020 and he's putting them back in the box? 545 00:24:00,001 --> 00:24:01,001 It's perfection. 546 00:24:01,002 --> 00:24:02,022 How did you come up with that? 547 00:24:03,001 --> 00:24:04,011 That's so lame. 548 00:24:04,009 --> 00:24:05,019 No, it was not. 549 00:24:05,020 --> 00:24:07,000 It was hysterical. 550 00:24:07,002 --> 00:24:08,012 No, I'm not talking about the book, 551 00:24:08,014 --> 00:24:10,014 I'm talking about what you're doing right now. 552 00:24:10,011 --> 00:24:14,021 I just wanted you to know how much I loved your book, 553 00:24:15,006 --> 00:24:16,016 because I did. 554 00:24:16,023 --> 00:24:20,013 And I'm sorry I muddied it up with the whole scrunchie thing. 555 00:24:20,011 --> 00:24:21,021 It's not that big a deal. 556 00:24:22,023 --> 00:24:24,013 Okay... 557 00:24:26,001 --> 00:24:27,011 I think I'm gonna call it a night. 558 00:24:27,011 --> 00:24:30,021 Uh... I got to get an early start tomorrow. 559 00:24:30,021 --> 00:24:32,001 Are you kidding? 560 00:24:32,003 --> 00:24:34,013 No, thanks for dinner. 561 00:24:34,016 --> 00:24:35,016 I'll call you tomorrow. 562 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,010 [Carrie] And then, there are times when a New York woman 563 00:24:38,015 --> 00:24:40,005 should not shut the fuck up. 564 00:24:40,013 --> 00:24:41,023 Hey! 565 00:24:43,005 --> 00:24:44,005 Berger. 566 00:24:46,012 --> 00:24:49,002 Berger! 567 00:24:49,005 --> 00:24:52,005 You can't just pull that line on me and walk away. 568 00:24:52,009 --> 00:24:53,019 Well, this time it's true. 569 00:24:53,022 --> 00:24:56,002 Well, you're obviously still pissed and I'm sorry, 570 00:24:56,003 --> 00:24:58,013 but you can't just shut down like this. 571 00:24:58,014 --> 00:25:00,024 We have to be able to say what's on our minds. 572 00:25:01,001 --> 00:25:04,011 If you thought that I had made some kind of mistake, 573 00:25:04,016 --> 00:25:06,006 I would want you to tell me. 574 00:25:06,010 --> 00:25:07,020 Oh? 575 00:25:07,023 --> 00:25:09,023 Nice hat. 576 00:25:13,002 --> 00:25:14,012 Carrie! 577 00:25:14,008 --> 00:25:16,008 It's fabulous, and you just said that to hurt my feelings. 578 00:25:16,013 --> 00:25:17,023 Yeah, well, that's how you made me feel 579 00:25:17,020 --> 00:25:19,020 -the other night. -Fabulous! 580 00:25:19,023 --> 00:25:21,013 So, you could just walk away now? 581 00:25:21,011 --> 00:25:24,001 -Uh, yes, I can. -Well, look, I'm sorry, alright? 582 00:25:24,003 --> 00:25:25,003 But what was I supposed to do 583 00:25:25,006 --> 00:25:26,006 with that scrunchie comment? 584 00:25:26,011 --> 00:25:27,021 Was I supposed to hop in my time machine 585 00:25:27,022 --> 00:25:29,012 and go back, fix my entire book? 586 00:25:29,011 --> 00:25:31,001 I don't know what your problem is, 587 00:25:31,003 --> 00:25:33,013 but it doesn't have anything to do with a scrunchie. 588 00:25:33,007 --> 00:25:34,007 Yeah, it's about the fact that 589 00:25:34,012 --> 00:25:36,022 my book is a big, fat fucking failure. 590 00:25:36,019 --> 00:25:38,009 -Wait, what? -It's just... 591 00:25:38,007 --> 00:25:39,997 You know, I already feel like shit, 592 00:25:40,006 --> 00:25:44,006 you trying to pump me up all night, not helping. 593 00:25:47,005 --> 00:25:48,995 I'm sure this is all very sexy. 594 00:25:49,006 --> 00:25:51,006 You probably never really want to-- 595 00:25:52,004 --> 00:25:53,014 Stop. 596 00:25:54,017 --> 00:25:57,017 I want to say something and I want you to listen. 597 00:25:58,023 --> 00:26:01,023 You're a beautiful writer. 598 00:26:01,023 --> 00:26:07,023 And I loved your book, and I love you. 599 00:26:07,020 --> 00:26:09,020 And I still think... 600 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,010 you're very sexy. 601 00:26:12,011 --> 00:26:16,021 -Mmm. -And I'm not gonna let you make a joke right now. 602 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,010 Then I got nothin'. 603 00:26:25,018 --> 00:26:26,998 Come on. 604 00:26:31,002 --> 00:26:32,022 Saying "I love you" is easy, 605 00:26:33,018 --> 00:26:35,008 what comes next... 606 00:26:35,007 --> 00:26:37,017 is a little "scrunchier." 607 00:26:41,010 --> 00:26:43,010 Harry hadn't called in two days, 608 00:26:43,014 --> 00:26:47,014 except to say he was sending someone over to pick up his TV. 609 00:26:51,001 --> 00:26:54,021 Just what New York needs, another single Jewish girl. 610 00:26:59,023 --> 00:27:03,013 Good morning. 611 00:27:03,013 --> 00:27:05,013 Mind if I get in there and wash my face? 612 00:27:05,013 --> 00:27:07,013 Not at all. 613 00:27:10,002 --> 00:27:12,012 Oh, my God, where did you get that? 614 00:27:12,015 --> 00:27:13,015 [in Southern accent] Well, Macon, Georgia! 615 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,020 -Why, you want to try it on? -No. 616 00:27:15,021 --> 00:27:18,021 -Oh, but you're gonna look so pretty with this scrunchie on. -No, no! 617 00:27:18,023 --> 00:27:20,023 [giggling and screaming] 618 00:27:20,018 --> 00:27:22,018 No, no, I hate you! 619 00:27:22,019 --> 00:27:26,009 -[laughing and chattering] -[Berger] Put on the scrunchie!