1 00:00:49,002 --> 00:00:52,022 [Carrie] My career had reached new heights, literally. 2 00:00:52,022 --> 00:00:55,012 An editor at New York Magazine thought I would be 3 00:00:55,009 --> 00:00:56,999 the perfect person to write about 4 00:00:57,002 --> 00:00:59,002 the ultimate challenge for swingers... 5 00:00:59,005 --> 00:01:00,995 The flying trapeze. 6 00:01:01,006 --> 00:01:02,016 Wouldn't you rather be at Jeffrey? 7 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:05,000 They're having a sale on stripes. 8 00:01:05,004 --> 00:01:07,014 [Carrie] That's not supportive! 9 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,010 [man] Step on up, good. 10 00:01:10,008 --> 00:01:13,018 That's good, that's great. Come around to my side... 11 00:01:15,004 --> 00:01:16,024 I'm gonna take off your climbing lines 12 00:01:16,023 --> 00:01:18,023 and strap on your safety harness. 13 00:01:18,020 --> 00:01:20,000 Yes, please strap on anything 14 00:01:20,006 --> 00:01:21,016 that will keep me from plummeting to my death. 15 00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:24,020 Toes over the edge, feet shoulder-width apart. 16 00:01:24,020 --> 00:01:26,010 And just a little bit more. 17 00:01:27,005 --> 00:01:28,015 That's good, head up. 18 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,020 Now put your right hand out in front of you. 19 00:01:31,018 --> 00:01:33,008 I've got you, good. 20 00:01:33,008 --> 00:01:34,008 Are you ready to grab the bar? 21 00:01:34,014 --> 00:01:36,014 I'm ready to go to the bar. 22 00:01:36,010 --> 00:01:38,010 -Does everyone say that? -Pretty much. 23 00:01:38,016 --> 00:01:40,016 Okay, hold the bar in one hand. 24 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,010 You're queen of the world! 25 00:01:42,010 --> 00:01:44,020 -You're queen of the world! -[Stanford] Ha-hah. 26 00:01:44,018 --> 00:01:46,018 Alright, that's good. 27 00:01:46,021 --> 00:01:50,011 Keep your head up, don't look down. Are you ready? 28 00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:53,001 And... Up. 29 00:01:54,001 --> 00:01:55,001 [Stanford] Whoo! 30 00:01:57,019 --> 00:01:59,009 [Carrie] Aaahh! 31 00:01:59,013 --> 00:02:01,013 [Stanford] Swing out, sister! 32 00:02:01,014 --> 00:02:04,014 [Carrie] Two hours later, I was hooked. 33 00:02:05,017 --> 00:02:08,997 Stanny, are you watching? I'm about to try a catch! 34 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:11,004 Maybe you should quit while you're a... 35 00:02:11,004 --> 00:02:12,004 live. 36 00:02:12,002 --> 00:02:13,012 [man] You can totally do this. 37 00:02:13,009 --> 00:02:16,009 Just listen to me and trust me. 38 00:02:16,013 --> 00:02:17,023 Up! 39 00:02:19,004 --> 00:02:21,024 Alright, legs up. 40 00:02:21,022 --> 00:02:24,022 Take your hands off and reach for me. 41 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,020 This time you got it. 42 00:02:26,017 --> 00:02:28,007 Let go! 43 00:02:28,014 --> 00:02:30,014 -Let go! -No! 44 00:02:30,013 --> 00:02:32,013 Ooh... No, no, no, no. 45 00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:36,000 That day, I didn't get caught... 46 00:02:37,018 --> 00:02:39,998 But Samantha's zipper did. 47 00:02:46,002 --> 00:02:53,012 [grunting] 48 00:02:58,003 --> 00:03:01,003 This is one of the frustrating things about living alone, 49 00:03:01,002 --> 00:03:04,012 there's not always somebody around to rip your clothes off. 50 00:03:04,016 --> 00:03:05,016 [grunting] 51 00:03:05,022 --> 00:03:07,012 [groaning] 52 00:03:14,023 --> 00:03:16,013 Hey, Smith. 53 00:03:16,007 --> 00:03:19,007 Want to come over and do me? 54 00:03:19,011 --> 00:03:21,021 What she meant was "undo" me... 55 00:03:21,023 --> 00:03:24,013 but two birds with one stone. 56 00:03:25,002 --> 00:03:26,022 And in Central Park, 57 00:03:26,019 --> 00:03:28,019 a photographer attempted to catch 58 00:03:28,020 --> 00:03:32,010 two lovebirds sitting on a stone. 59 00:03:32,009 --> 00:03:36,009 Honey, a little less teeth, just relax your lips. 60 00:03:36,009 --> 00:03:38,009 Oh no, now you're squinting. 61 00:03:38,011 --> 00:03:41,021 A lesser man might have told Charlotte to take a flying leap, 62 00:03:42,001 --> 00:03:44,011 but Harry loved her too much. 63 00:03:44,009 --> 00:03:45,999 I thought the point was to look natural. 64 00:03:46,005 --> 00:03:48,015 That's what I'm trying to get you to do. 65 00:03:48,017 --> 00:03:50,017 Well, one might ask, how natural is it 66 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,000 to be sitting in Central Park in a suit? 67 00:03:53,004 --> 00:03:56,014 Honey, I read the wedding section religiously 68 00:03:56,010 --> 00:03:58,000 and I know what they're looking for, 69 00:03:58,004 --> 00:03:59,024 and not all pictures are selected. 70 00:03:59,022 --> 00:04:01,012 And I really, really want there to be 71 00:04:01,016 --> 00:04:03,016 a York-Goldenblatt announcement of our wedding 72 00:04:03,021 --> 00:04:04,021 in The Sunday Times. 73 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,020 So please, just, just a little less teeth, just... 74 00:04:07,022 --> 00:04:12,022 Charlotte York, I cannot wait to marry you. 75 00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:13,998 That's perfect, that's it! 76 00:04:14,006 --> 00:04:15,006 I was having a moment! 77 00:04:15,014 --> 00:04:17,024 Oh... [giggles] 78 00:04:17,018 --> 00:04:19,018 Ah, lipstick! 79 00:04:19,023 --> 00:04:23,023 Wait, no, no, sorry. No kissing pictures, it's tacky. 80 00:04:23,022 --> 00:04:25,022 [Carrie] And speaking of tacky... 81 00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:27,000 It's cute, huh? 82 00:04:27,002 --> 00:04:29,022 Debbie bought it for him over at the 6th Avenue Flea Market. 83 00:04:31,005 --> 00:04:33,995 -Did you wash it first? -[baby gurgling] 84 00:04:34,005 --> 00:04:36,005 She also got something for you. 85 00:04:38,021 --> 00:04:40,021 It's aromatherapy. 86 00:04:41,013 --> 00:04:45,003 Oh. Huh. 87 00:04:45,002 --> 00:04:46,012 You know, I was thinking, 88 00:04:46,009 --> 00:04:49,999 maybe we should figure out a time for the two of you to meet. 89 00:04:50,005 --> 00:04:51,015 What? Why? 90 00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:53,021 Well, she's around Brady, 91 00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:55,020 and I know you're not so comfortable with that-- 92 00:04:55,019 --> 00:04:58,009 I'm completely comfortable. I don't need to meet her. 93 00:04:58,012 --> 00:05:00,012 I trust you. [fake chuckles] 94 00:05:00,011 --> 00:05:04,001 She bought me a fucking candle! 95 00:05:04,005 --> 00:05:06,015 And it was an aromatherapy candle 96 00:05:06,023 --> 00:05:08,013 for serenity and calm. 97 00:05:08,010 --> 00:05:12,010 I was much more serene and calm before the fucking candle. 98 00:05:12,015 --> 00:05:14,015 Women with candles have replaced women with cats 99 00:05:14,017 --> 00:05:15,017 as the new sad thing. 100 00:05:15,022 --> 00:05:18,022 Oh, and get this, he thinks I should meet her. 101 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,020 I sense that he wants us to become friends. 102 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:23,010 Oh, no, no, no, no, forget it. 103 00:05:23,010 --> 00:05:26,010 You do not need to become friends with the new girlfriend. 104 00:05:26,007 --> 00:05:29,017 It's unnatural, uncomfortable, insincere 105 00:05:29,021 --> 00:05:31,021 and rife with ulterior motives. 106 00:05:31,022 --> 00:05:35,012 -Has this happened to you? -No, I'm just being supportive. 107 00:05:35,008 --> 00:05:36,018 But there is a baby involved. 108 00:05:37,001 --> 00:05:40,001 [Miranda] Exactly, she's using Brady to get to me. 109 00:05:40,003 --> 00:05:41,023 And I am not falling for it. 110 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,020 Oh, speaking of falling, I tried the trapeze yesterday 111 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,010 for that piece that I'm writing-- 112 00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:50,022 I could never, I have the most terrible fear of heights. 113 00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:52,010 Well, I do not, you've seen my shoes. 114 00:05:52,007 --> 00:05:54,017 So, did you fly through the air with the greatest of ease? 115 00:05:54,018 --> 00:05:56,998 At first, but then I couldn't do a catch. 116 00:05:57,004 --> 00:05:59,014 All I had to do was let go and reach for the guy, 117 00:05:59,011 --> 00:06:01,021 who was very cute, and I still couldn't do it. 118 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,000 You are insane for getting into a harness 119 00:06:04,005 --> 00:06:06,005 without even the hope of an orgasm. 120 00:06:06,010 --> 00:06:07,020 [Harry] Hello, ladies. 121 00:06:07,019 --> 00:06:09,009 Hi, honey. 122 00:06:09,012 --> 00:06:11,002 -[Samantha] Hi, Harry. -Mm-wah. Hi, Howie. 123 00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,014 [Howie] Hi. 124 00:06:12,007 --> 00:06:14,007 Everyone, this is Harry's best man, Howie Halberstein, 125 00:06:14,013 --> 00:06:15,023 -in from Portland. -Hello. 126 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,000 We're not crashing, 127 00:06:17,003 --> 00:06:18,023 I'm just here to drop off the photo-proofs... 128 00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:20,010 -[gasping] -...and the seating chart. 129 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,013 Oh. 130 00:06:21,015 --> 00:06:22,005 -We're gonna have a quick bite to eat... -Right. 131 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,015 ...and then I'm going to take the place cards 132 00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:25,021 -to the calligrapher. -Oh. 133 00:06:25,020 --> 00:06:26,020 And after that, if there's time, 134 00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:27,020 we're gonna go around the corner 135 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,000 and try to find our balls. 136 00:06:29,005 --> 00:06:29,995 [laughing] 137 00:06:30,005 --> 00:06:33,005 Yes, Harry knows how to show a guy a good time. 138 00:06:33,007 --> 00:06:34,017 Howie, this is Samantha and Miranda. 139 00:06:34,023 --> 00:06:35,023 -Hello. -Hi. 140 00:06:35,021 --> 00:06:37,011 And... Carrie. 141 00:06:37,016 --> 00:06:38,996 -Hi. -Hi, how are ya? 142 00:06:39,004 --> 00:06:40,024 -Good. -Good. 143 00:06:40,022 --> 00:06:44,002 Good guy, you two, I see it happening. 144 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,014 Shh. Shh. 145 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,016 Oh. Oh. 146 00:06:47,017 --> 00:06:48,017 So, uh, Carrie? 147 00:06:49,001 --> 00:06:52,001 I was thinking maybe you might show Howie around a little later. 148 00:06:52,002 --> 00:06:55,012 Unless Harry needs me to ice a cake or something. 149 00:06:55,008 --> 00:07:00,018 [laughs] Well, um... I'm-- I-- I'm kind of busy, 150 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,010 'cause I have to do a flying trapeze thing. 151 00:07:04,010 --> 00:07:07,000 That is so weird, because I have a lion taming thing tomorrow, 152 00:07:07,006 --> 00:07:08,016 so that's out for me. 153 00:07:08,018 --> 00:07:09,008 [laughing] 154 00:07:09,016 --> 00:07:11,006 But, you know, if you change your mind... 155 00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:14,000 I will give you my business card. 156 00:07:14,003 --> 00:07:15,003 Okay. 157 00:07:16,006 --> 00:07:17,006 -There you go. -Thank you. 158 00:07:17,008 --> 00:07:18,018 [Howie] All my lines are on there. 159 00:07:18,018 --> 00:07:19,998 -Okay. -Call me any-- 160 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,016 -I'll be waiting by the phone. -Okay. Okay. 161 00:07:22,001 --> 00:07:23,021 [Carrie laughs] 162 00:07:23,017 --> 00:07:25,007 What's wrong with you? 163 00:07:25,016 --> 00:07:27,016 [Miranda] He was funny and cute! 164 00:07:27,022 --> 00:07:31,002 And in town for a week. What's the point? 165 00:07:31,006 --> 00:07:34,006 That is the point. It's the best possible scenario 166 00:07:34,007 --> 00:07:35,997 because you know he's leaving. 167 00:07:36,005 --> 00:07:37,995 But it's, it's like... 168 00:07:38,005 --> 00:07:41,005 whatever happens, there's an expiration date. 169 00:07:41,014 --> 00:07:43,014 It's expiration dating. 170 00:07:43,007 --> 00:07:44,997 It isn't dating. It's sex. 171 00:07:45,005 --> 00:07:47,015 It's fun, it's a fling! 172 00:07:47,017 --> 00:07:49,997 Oh, please, I'm too old for a fling. 173 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,023 I can barely do a swing. 174 00:07:51,018 --> 00:07:54,008 And if you will excuse me, I have to go home 175 00:07:54,011 --> 00:07:57,011 so I can write about the fact that I couldn't do a catch. 176 00:07:57,008 --> 00:07:58,008 He is a catch. 177 00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,011 You should do him! 178 00:08:02,002 --> 00:08:03,002 [Carrie] When you're young, 179 00:08:03,006 --> 00:08:06,006 your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. 180 00:08:06,015 --> 00:08:10,015 Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. 181 00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:13,020 You could break a bone or a heart. 182 00:08:13,021 --> 00:08:14,021 You look before you leap, 183 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,000 and sometimes you don't leap at all 184 00:08:16,006 --> 00:08:19,006 because there's not always someone there to catch you. 185 00:08:19,016 --> 00:08:23,996 And in life, there's no safety net. 186 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:28,013 When did it stop being fun and start being scary? 187 00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:31,998 I decided it was time to leave fear behind 188 00:08:32,004 --> 00:08:34,014 and have some fun. 189 00:08:34,016 --> 00:08:37,006 [squeals] 190 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,020 [man] Okay, legs up. 191 00:08:42,001 --> 00:08:43,001 That's good. 192 00:08:43,006 --> 00:08:44,006 Let go and reach for me. 193 00:08:44,016 --> 00:08:46,006 I can't! 194 00:08:46,015 --> 00:08:50,005 Alright, this time let go! 195 00:08:50,010 --> 00:08:53,020 I can't! I can't! 196 00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:55,010 [Anthony] Don't tell me you can't. 197 00:08:55,011 --> 00:08:57,021 I want nothing but lilies on the chuppah! 198 00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:59,000 The theme is Yentl chic! 199 00:08:59,003 --> 00:09:00,003 [Charlotte] Don't forget the candles! 200 00:09:00,005 --> 00:09:01,015 You think this is the first wedding I ever planned? 201 00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:03,021 Jesus Christ, you're worse than me! 202 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,010 We want candles, candles, candles! 203 00:09:05,015 --> 00:09:08,005 And I don't want short, stubby, little, broken-off dick candles. 204 00:09:08,013 --> 00:09:11,013 I want long tapers. 205 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,019 -Alright, call me right back! -Ta-dah! 206 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,019 [gasping] 207 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,000 -It's okay? -Okay? 208 00:09:17,005 --> 00:09:18,005 You're Audrey Hepburn... 209 00:09:18,012 --> 00:09:19,012 owitz. 210 00:09:19,011 --> 00:09:21,011 I'm so excited about this wedding. 211 00:09:21,011 --> 00:09:23,021 We're gonna do everything according to tradition. 212 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:25,011 We are going to smash the glass, 213 00:09:25,016 --> 00:09:29,006 and the signing of the ketubah, the hora... 214 00:09:29,010 --> 00:09:31,020 Be careful, God forbid you fall off the chair. 215 00:09:31,023 --> 00:09:33,013 Oh, "the hora, the hora." 216 00:09:33,013 --> 00:09:35,013 Well, maybe we won't do the chair thing. 217 00:09:35,011 --> 00:09:37,011 You have to, that's the big finish! 218 00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:39,001 Just remember when you're up there, 219 00:09:39,003 --> 00:09:40,013 pretend you're having a good time, 220 00:09:40,007 --> 00:09:42,017 hang on for dear life, and for fuck's sake, 221 00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:43,020 keep your legs together. 222 00:09:43,021 --> 00:09:45,011 Nobody wants to see the bride's beaver. 223 00:09:45,008 --> 00:09:46,998 Shhh! 224 00:09:47,002 --> 00:09:48,022 Don't say that in front of my dress. 225 00:09:48,019 --> 00:09:50,009 [phone ringing] 226 00:09:51,006 --> 00:09:52,996 Hello, York residence. 227 00:09:53,003 --> 00:09:54,013 Yes, we have a minute. 228 00:09:54,008 --> 00:09:55,018 It's the New York Times fact checker. 229 00:09:55,018 --> 00:09:56,018 -[gasping] -Yes, 230 00:09:56,022 --> 00:09:58,012 Goldenblatt has two T's... 231 00:09:59,007 --> 00:10:01,017 Sure, fax it over! 232 00:10:01,022 --> 00:10:05,002 -[laughs] -We're in, we're in! 233 00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:08,024 -This calls for a hora! -[singing "Hava Nagila"] 234 00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:10,011 [door opening] 235 00:10:10,014 --> 00:10:11,024 Hey. 236 00:10:11,019 --> 00:10:14,009 [gasp] Oh my God, what are you doing here? 237 00:10:14,008 --> 00:10:16,008 Don't look at me, don't look at me! 238 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:17,996 Jesus Christ, Char, my ear. 239 00:10:18,004 --> 00:10:19,024 [Charlotte] You're not supposed to see me in my dress. 240 00:10:19,021 --> 00:10:22,011 This is bad luck, very bad luck. 241 00:10:22,008 --> 00:10:25,008 Close your eyes, keep them closed! 242 00:10:25,012 --> 00:10:27,022 Oh, no, this is so bad! 243 00:10:27,019 --> 00:10:28,999 [door slamming] 244 00:10:30,003 --> 00:10:31,023 Are all brides like that? 245 00:10:31,019 --> 00:10:32,999 That's nothin', 246 00:10:33,002 --> 00:10:36,012 I once had a girl on Long Island give herself a stroke. 247 00:10:36,007 --> 00:10:39,007 She pulled it together for the big day, though. 248 00:10:44,004 --> 00:10:46,014 Hopefully I'll get cell reception down in Mexico. 249 00:10:46,015 --> 00:10:47,015 Uh-huh. 250 00:10:47,017 --> 00:10:50,007 [Carrie] Samantha, a fan of expiration dating, 251 00:10:50,011 --> 00:10:52,011 was about to enjoy one of the benefits 252 00:10:52,015 --> 00:10:53,015 of dating an actor... 253 00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:55,021 Location, location, location. 254 00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:57,022 It's gonna be cool working with Gus Van Sant. 255 00:10:57,019 --> 00:10:58,999 Uh-huh. 256 00:11:00,016 --> 00:11:02,016 Here, let me... 257 00:11:04,018 --> 00:11:08,008 I can't believe we don't get to spend my last night together. 258 00:11:08,008 --> 00:11:09,998 Are you dying? 259 00:11:10,006 --> 00:11:13,006 -No. -Then it's not your last night. 260 00:11:15,001 --> 00:11:16,011 There. 261 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,010 I'm gonna miss you, Samantha. 262 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:22,021 Oh, save that performance for Mr. Van Sant. 263 00:11:22,019 --> 00:11:24,999 It's just two weeks. 264 00:11:25,002 --> 00:11:26,012 -It's a long time! -Mm-hm. 265 00:11:26,007 --> 00:11:27,007 Would you get out of here already? 266 00:11:27,016 --> 00:11:28,016 I'm late as it is. 267 00:11:29,023 --> 00:11:31,013 Yeah, yeah. 268 00:11:31,013 --> 00:11:32,013 And listen... 269 00:11:32,016 --> 00:11:35,016 When you're on location, don't do anything I wouldn't do. 270 00:11:35,021 --> 00:11:39,001 -What does that rule out? -Mmm, there are things... 271 00:11:40,019 --> 00:11:45,019 -Karaoke, I don't do that. -[sighs and chuckles] 272 00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:52,021 ♪ He flies through the air, With the greatest of ease ♪ 273 00:11:53,001 --> 00:11:57,011 ♪ That daring young boy On the flying trapeze ♪ 274 00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:58,016 [Steve] This is it. 275 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,020 [Debbie] It's a very nice building. 276 00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:02,009 -[Steve] Miranda! -[knocking] 277 00:12:02,016 --> 00:12:03,016 [Steve] I can't find my keys. 278 00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:04,021 [whispering] Magda... 279 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,010 -[Debbie] You still have keys? -I'm not home. 280 00:12:07,011 --> 00:12:09,011 Do you understand? 281 00:12:09,008 --> 00:12:14,008 I'm already at Charlotte's, I am not home. 282 00:12:20,008 --> 00:12:21,018 [Steve] Is Miranda here? 283 00:12:21,017 --> 00:12:23,997 [Magda] She is not home. 284 00:12:24,006 --> 00:12:25,016 [Debbie] Oh. Well, that's too bad. 285 00:12:25,019 --> 00:12:27,019 I was really looking forward to meeting her. 286 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,010 [Magda] She is not home. 287 00:12:30,015 --> 00:12:34,015 -[Steve] Magda, this is Debbie. -[Debbie] Nice to meet you. 288 00:12:34,022 --> 00:12:37,022 [Steve] Alright, we just need to grab some things out of Brady's crib. 289 00:12:38,001 --> 00:12:39,021 Last time I forgot Mr. Elephant 290 00:12:39,020 --> 00:12:41,020 and Brady acted like a big baby. 291 00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:43,001 Didn't you, B-boy? 292 00:12:43,002 --> 00:12:46,002 [Debbie laughing] He is a big baby... 293 00:12:46,019 --> 00:12:47,999 silly. 294 00:12:50,006 --> 00:12:53,006 [Magda] But, uh... I have not cleaned in room yet. 295 00:12:53,014 --> 00:12:55,014 [Steve] That's okay. 296 00:12:59,009 --> 00:13:01,019 [Debbie] This is a nice room, she has nice taste. 297 00:13:02,001 --> 00:13:03,021 [Steve] Yeah, I helped build the crib. 298 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,000 Really? Wow. [laughs] 299 00:13:07,002 --> 00:13:09,012 [Brady crying] 300 00:13:09,014 --> 00:13:14,024 [Debbie] What's wrong, Brady, did you drop your binky? 301 00:13:14,017 --> 00:13:15,997 Where's your binky? 302 00:13:16,005 --> 00:13:17,015 [Steve] Oh. It's right there. 303 00:13:17,019 --> 00:13:18,019 [Debbie] Oh. 304 00:13:20,018 --> 00:13:23,018 [Debbie] Here you go, Brady-licious. [laughs] 305 00:13:23,023 --> 00:13:25,023 [Debbie] Hey, wanna go to Blockbuster 306 00:13:25,019 --> 00:13:26,019 and rent a tape or something? 307 00:13:27,001 --> 00:13:29,011 [Steve] Okay, but this time I get to pick. 308 00:13:29,015 --> 00:13:32,005 [both laughing] 309 00:13:32,007 --> 00:13:34,997 -[Debbie] Bye. -[Steve] Bye, Magda. 310 00:13:35,021 --> 00:13:38,021 [groans] 311 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:44,001 There's a lot of dust down there. 312 00:13:44,005 --> 00:13:45,995 You really should vacuum... 313 00:13:47,009 --> 00:13:48,999 under... 314 00:13:53,013 --> 00:13:55,013 [Carrie] That night, we all gathered at Charlotte's 315 00:13:55,013 --> 00:13:57,013 casual rehearsal dinner. 316 00:13:57,010 --> 00:14:00,020 You're like a lint tray, what's happening back here? 317 00:14:00,018 --> 00:14:03,008 That Debbie is crazy. 318 00:14:03,015 --> 00:14:05,015 She came to my apartment with Steve, 319 00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:06,020 totally ambushed me... 320 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,010 I had to hide under the bed to avoid them. 321 00:14:09,007 --> 00:14:10,997 Seriously? 322 00:14:11,004 --> 00:14:12,014 Maybe. 323 00:14:12,012 --> 00:14:13,012 Well, did you see her? 324 00:14:13,012 --> 00:14:15,012 Just her shoes and her nails. 325 00:14:15,016 --> 00:14:17,006 -And... -Both acrylic. 326 00:14:17,009 --> 00:14:18,009 Mm. 327 00:14:18,012 --> 00:14:20,012 Maybe you should just meet her and get it over with. 328 00:14:20,016 --> 00:14:23,006 I don't want to meet her. If I meet her, she's real, 329 00:14:23,011 --> 00:14:25,021 and that means Steve has an actual girlfriend. 330 00:14:25,023 --> 00:14:27,023 [Carrie] Apparently, I wasn't the only one 331 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,021 who had trouble letting go. 332 00:14:29,017 --> 00:14:31,017 Hey, what's happening there? 333 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,000 Oh, you know... 334 00:14:33,004 --> 00:14:35,024 Bride, bride, bride, blah, blah, blah. 335 00:14:35,019 --> 00:14:38,009 Hey, I just saw your fling go into the bedroom. 336 00:14:38,009 --> 00:14:39,999 It's like shooting fish in a barrel. 337 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:41,004 Still, no. 338 00:14:41,002 --> 00:14:42,002 Ooh! 339 00:14:42,005 --> 00:14:45,015 -It's just casual sex. -Nothing's casual anymore. 340 00:14:45,017 --> 00:14:48,007 Not even when it says so on the invitation. 341 00:14:48,009 --> 00:14:50,019 Just go in there and see what happens. 342 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,020 Worst comes to worst, you can always hide under the bed. 343 00:14:57,008 --> 00:14:58,018 [Carrie] I decided they were right. 344 00:14:58,021 --> 00:15:01,011 It was time to get back in the swing of things. 345 00:15:07,017 --> 00:15:08,997 -[Howie] See ya later. -See ya later, Howie. 346 00:15:09,004 --> 00:15:12,024 Oh, hey, how are ya? 347 00:15:12,018 --> 00:15:16,008 Wow, this is kind of uncomfortable. 348 00:15:16,008 --> 00:15:17,998 Look, would you please stop calling me? 349 00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,024 I don't have time to chat, 350 00:15:20,001 --> 00:15:22,011 I've got boutonnieres on my mind. 351 00:15:22,015 --> 00:15:23,015 I'm sorry I never called. 352 00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:25,022 I understand, you're busy. That time of the year, 353 00:15:25,022 --> 00:15:29,002 you know, final exams for clown college... or something. 354 00:15:29,005 --> 00:15:31,005 And what would that entail, you think? 355 00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:34,000 You know, the seating arrangements in the little car, 356 00:15:34,006 --> 00:15:35,006 walking in the floppy shoes... 357 00:15:35,015 --> 00:15:37,015 Squirting flower and nose application. 358 00:15:37,021 --> 00:15:40,011 Continual pie-ing, the clown kissing. 359 00:15:40,012 --> 00:15:42,012 [Carrie] Maybe I would have a fling. 360 00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:45,008 After all, how bad could it be? 361 00:15:48,011 --> 00:15:51,011 [moaning] 362 00:15:51,011 --> 00:15:55,011 That night, Howie and I had sex like we were teenagers again... 363 00:15:55,016 --> 00:15:58,016 Meaning, he had no idea what he was doing, 364 00:15:58,023 --> 00:16:01,003 and I didn't say anything. 365 00:16:06,015 --> 00:16:10,005 Meanwhile, Samantha was banging around as well. 366 00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,023 [beeping] 367 00:16:13,019 --> 00:16:16,009 [answering machine] You have one new message. 368 00:16:16,013 --> 00:16:18,003 [beeping] 369 00:16:18,004 --> 00:16:20,024 [Smith] Hey, I'm here, it's pretty cool. 370 00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:22,023 Miss me yet? 371 00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:24,010 [exhales] 372 00:16:24,014 --> 00:16:26,024 [Carrie] That's the thing about getting used to a man. 373 00:16:26,023 --> 00:16:29,013 There's always a catch. 374 00:16:31,006 --> 00:16:32,016 [dramatic thudding] 375 00:16:32,017 --> 00:16:34,997 It's here! It's here! 376 00:16:35,002 --> 00:16:38,022 [Carrie] Not just her wedding day, but the New York Times. 377 00:16:44,005 --> 00:16:45,995 Oh, my God. 378 00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:48,013 I have a mustache. 379 00:16:49,012 --> 00:16:51,002 [Harry] It's an ink stain. 380 00:16:51,003 --> 00:16:54,003 Hey, but look at me. Now that, that is a terrific smile. 381 00:16:54,005 --> 00:16:55,015 This is a nightmare. 382 00:16:55,019 --> 00:16:58,019 It's probably just our paper. 383 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,010 Anyway, who cares? We're getting married today! 384 00:17:01,007 --> 00:17:02,017 I look like Hitler. 385 00:17:03,001 --> 00:17:05,021 I am having a Jewish wedding and I look like Hitler. 386 00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:07,000 [Carrie] Hello? 387 00:17:07,004 --> 00:17:09,014 In your paper, do I have a mustache? 388 00:17:09,012 --> 00:17:10,022 What? 389 00:17:10,018 --> 00:17:13,018 In your wedding section, does it look like I have a mustache? 390 00:17:13,019 --> 00:17:17,009 Oh, hang on a minute. 391 00:17:17,015 --> 00:17:21,015 As I feared, my fling had become a pain in the neck. 392 00:17:21,019 --> 00:17:24,019 You do not look like Hitler. 393 00:17:24,019 --> 00:17:26,019 The Frito Bandito, maybe... 394 00:17:26,022 --> 00:17:29,002 The bad luck is starting already. 395 00:17:30,022 --> 00:17:33,012 Hmm. 396 00:17:33,013 --> 00:17:36,023 Yeah, there's a little something, 397 00:17:37,001 --> 00:17:39,021 but maybe it's just my paper... 398 00:17:40,001 --> 00:17:41,001 and your paper. 399 00:17:41,006 --> 00:17:42,006 I have to go. 400 00:17:42,016 --> 00:17:44,996 [Carrie] Clearly, Charlotte was bent out of shape. 401 00:17:45,006 --> 00:17:46,016 And so was I. 402 00:17:47,001 --> 00:17:50,011 C'mon granny, I'll take you to the early bird special. 403 00:17:50,012 --> 00:17:52,022 Oh, God, don't make me laugh. 404 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,020 It hurts. 405 00:17:54,018 --> 00:17:56,998 Is this still from your days as a Flying Wallenda? 406 00:17:57,005 --> 00:18:01,995 Well, that's my official story, and it's partially true, but... 407 00:18:02,003 --> 00:18:04,013 this is a sex sprain. 408 00:18:04,015 --> 00:18:07,995 -Good for you! -No, it was not good for me. 409 00:18:08,005 --> 00:18:09,015 It was jack rabbit sex. 410 00:18:09,017 --> 00:18:11,017 You know, pow, pow, pow, pow pow, pow, pow, pow. 411 00:18:11,019 --> 00:18:13,019 Are straight men still allowed to do that? 412 00:18:13,019 --> 00:18:15,999 No, they aren't, it's bad. 413 00:18:16,005 --> 00:18:19,005 It's basically masturbating with a woman instead of your hand. 414 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:21,015 I don't enjoy. 415 00:18:21,020 --> 00:18:23,010 Carrie, you made it. 416 00:18:23,015 --> 00:18:25,995 Oh, hi. 417 00:18:26,002 --> 00:18:27,012 -I gotta go. -Hi. 418 00:18:27,013 --> 00:18:29,023 -The jack rabbit? -Uh-huh. 419 00:18:29,021 --> 00:18:32,001 -I better... -Hop to it? 420 00:18:35,001 --> 00:18:37,001 -Hi. Hi. -Hi. 421 00:18:40,003 --> 00:18:42,013 You look hot. 422 00:18:42,008 --> 00:18:43,018 -[giggles weakly] -Oh. 423 00:18:43,018 --> 00:18:44,018 Thanks. 424 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,020 [squealing in pain] 425 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,010 -Guess what? -What? 426 00:18:48,010 --> 00:18:50,020 I got a suite at the Mercer for later. 427 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000 King-size bed, 428 00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:53,015 huge tub. 429 00:18:53,017 --> 00:18:55,017 We can have breakfast before I leave, 430 00:18:55,023 --> 00:18:56,023 unless, of course, 431 00:18:57,001 --> 00:18:59,021 we're busy doing something else, huh? 432 00:18:59,019 --> 00:19:02,009 [laughs] Oh, yeah. 433 00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,997 -[Howie laughs] -I don't know. 434 00:19:05,002 --> 00:19:07,012 I'm pretty tired from last night. 435 00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:09,015 Yeah, well, I'm only gonna be in town for another day, 436 00:19:09,019 --> 00:19:11,019 and I want to get to know you better. 437 00:19:12,011 --> 00:19:13,021 [laughs] 438 00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:16,008 Well, okay. 439 00:19:16,010 --> 00:19:18,000 We'll see... 440 00:19:18,006 --> 00:19:20,016 We'll see? 441 00:19:20,019 --> 00:19:23,019 I know what "we'll see" means. It means "see ya." 442 00:19:23,018 --> 00:19:27,998 No, no, the thing is... 443 00:19:28,003 --> 00:19:32,023 You're just visiting, so I figured-- 444 00:19:36,003 --> 00:19:41,023 I-- I figured it was a one-night kind of thing. 445 00:19:43,004 --> 00:19:45,014 Just fun. 446 00:19:47,004 --> 00:19:48,024 Wow. 447 00:19:50,001 --> 00:19:51,021 If I had known you were just using me, 448 00:19:51,021 --> 00:19:54,021 I wouldn't have made love to you like that. 449 00:19:57,017 --> 00:20:00,007 [people chattering] 450 00:20:00,007 --> 00:20:03,017 [rabbi] We are here today to celebrate the union of 451 00:20:03,019 --> 00:20:05,019 two very special people, 452 00:20:05,017 --> 00:20:08,007 Harry Goldenblatt and Charlotte York. 453 00:20:09,015 --> 00:20:11,005 It's important for everyone here 454 00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:14,001 to be a witness to this moment, 455 00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:17,023 for the Jewish wedding ceremony has two parts. 456 00:20:17,018 --> 00:20:22,008 The first designates to the community that the kallah, 457 00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:29,013 bride, and khatan, groom, are for one another alone. 458 00:20:30,017 --> 00:20:34,997 And the second part gives them to one another. 459 00:20:35,004 --> 00:20:36,024 -It's a gift... -[Howie mouths silently] 460 00:20:36,023 --> 00:20:40,003 ...and a huge responsibility. 461 00:20:59,017 --> 00:21:02,007 [Carrie] As one man slipped a ring on, 462 00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:06,010 one woman was still trying to slip a bracelet off. 463 00:21:08,014 --> 00:21:10,014 -Oh! -Oh! 464 00:21:13,007 --> 00:21:15,007 Ow! Ow! Ow! 465 00:21:15,008 --> 00:21:18,018 Sorry, it's a back spasm, I'm sorry. 466 00:21:20,009 --> 00:21:21,999 [murmuring] 467 00:21:29,011 --> 00:21:31,001 Ow. 468 00:21:35,012 --> 00:21:37,022 [thudding echoing] 469 00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:42,008 It seemed to Charlotte that the wedding had gone from 470 00:21:42,013 --> 00:21:46,023 Jewish law to Murphy's law. 471 00:21:46,020 --> 00:21:48,020 -[glass breaking] -[cheering] 472 00:21:48,020 --> 00:21:50,020 Oh! 473 00:21:58,010 --> 00:21:59,010 Ah! 474 00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:04,010 Mazel tov! 475 00:22:05,006 --> 00:22:08,006 [cheering] 476 00:22:12,003 --> 00:22:14,003 [sniffling] 477 00:22:14,002 --> 00:22:16,002 Hey, Charlotte, are you okay? 478 00:22:16,003 --> 00:22:18,003 [sniffling] This is a disaster. 479 00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,024 It's the worst wedding in history. 480 00:22:19,020 --> 00:22:22,010 That's not true. 481 00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:25,018 Although I only saw most of it from here down. 482 00:22:25,023 --> 00:22:27,013 Harry never should have walked in on me 483 00:22:27,016 --> 00:22:28,016 wearing my wedding dress. 484 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,010 -Now we're cursed. -You're not cursed. 485 00:22:32,021 --> 00:22:33,021 You're married. 486 00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:36,010 You just got married! 487 00:22:36,007 --> 00:22:37,017 I know, but... [sniffling] 488 00:22:37,021 --> 00:22:40,001 I wanted everything to be perfect. 489 00:22:40,005 --> 00:22:42,015 Okay, you have to stop with the tears. 490 00:22:42,018 --> 00:22:46,008 You already had the perfect wedding and the marriage... 491 00:22:46,012 --> 00:22:48,012 Not so perfect. 492 00:22:48,015 --> 00:22:50,005 You know, I think this is a good sign. 493 00:22:50,007 --> 00:22:52,007 I think the worse the wedding, 494 00:22:52,011 --> 00:22:54,011 the better the marriage. 495 00:22:54,011 --> 00:22:56,011 I have a stain on my dress. 496 00:22:56,011 --> 00:22:57,021 That's good! 497 00:22:57,020 --> 00:22:59,010 That's a good sign! 498 00:22:59,012 --> 00:23:01,022 You're just trying to make me feel better. 499 00:23:01,019 --> 00:23:03,999 No, I'm trying to get you to open your eyes, 500 00:23:04,006 --> 00:23:05,016 because you're missing it! 501 00:23:06,013 --> 00:23:08,003 -What? -Everything! 502 00:23:08,006 --> 00:23:10,016 You're missing your wedding. 503 00:23:10,017 --> 00:23:14,007 You have a wonderful man who loves you, 504 00:23:14,008 --> 00:23:16,008 who will be there to catch you when you fall. 505 00:23:16,007 --> 00:23:17,017 Do you know how special that is? 506 00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:19,011 I would love to find a man 507 00:23:19,012 --> 00:23:21,012 who was strong enough to catch me. 508 00:23:24,004 --> 00:23:26,014 So, let's get to that reception 509 00:23:26,008 --> 00:23:28,008 so you can fall in a cake or something. 510 00:23:29,021 --> 00:23:33,011 Okay. Oh, dear. 511 00:23:33,008 --> 00:23:34,998 [woman] So... 512 00:23:35,002 --> 00:23:35,022 Okay? 513 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,020 Perfect, still. Of course. 514 00:23:38,021 --> 00:23:41,011 -Oh. Oh, Christ. -[Charlotte] Oh... 515 00:23:41,007 --> 00:23:43,007 -Oh, Christ. -[Charlotte laughs] 516 00:23:43,007 --> 00:23:46,997 Best of luck to you. Best of luck. 517 00:23:48,018 --> 00:23:49,998 Are you okay? 518 00:23:50,002 --> 00:23:51,002 Oh, yeah. 519 00:23:51,005 --> 00:23:53,005 I'm just feeling a little sad. 520 00:23:53,010 --> 00:23:55,010 It was just so beautiful. 521 00:23:55,010 --> 00:23:56,010 The ceremony? 522 00:23:56,014 --> 00:23:57,024 My bracelet. 523 00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,010 Mm... 524 00:23:59,015 --> 00:24:01,015 [tapping glass] 525 00:24:03,009 --> 00:24:05,019 Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention please? 526 00:24:05,019 --> 00:24:06,999 Oh, God, it's time for the toast. 527 00:24:07,005 --> 00:24:08,015 Top me off, I'm next. 528 00:24:09,001 --> 00:24:11,011 I would like to raise a glass... 529 00:24:12,021 --> 00:24:15,011 to Harry and Charlotte, 530 00:24:15,009 --> 00:24:20,019 because they found each other, despite all the bullshit. 531 00:24:20,022 --> 00:24:26,002 Huh? Hey, hey... [chuckles] It's tough out there. 532 00:24:26,003 --> 00:24:29,023 I mean, people don't care like they used to. 533 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,010 People leave you hanging. 534 00:24:32,015 --> 00:24:34,005 People... 535 00:24:34,008 --> 00:24:35,008 are a bitch. 536 00:24:36,014 --> 00:24:38,014 Is this a toast or a roast? 537 00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:39,020 So here's to love. 538 00:24:41,007 --> 00:24:45,997 And love means... never ever... 539 00:24:47,014 --> 00:24:48,024 having to say... 540 00:24:51,002 --> 00:24:53,002 You used me for sex! 541 00:24:53,002 --> 00:24:54,022 [guests chattering] 542 00:24:54,019 --> 00:24:56,009 Thanks, Howie. 543 00:24:56,007 --> 00:24:57,007 That's nice. 544 00:24:57,010 --> 00:25:00,010 No, wait, hey, Mazel tov. 545 00:25:00,015 --> 00:25:03,015 [Carrie] It was a Mazel tov cocktail. 546 00:25:03,021 --> 00:25:07,021 [forced laugh] Carrie said, "The worse the wedding, 547 00:25:07,023 --> 00:25:08,023 the better the marriage." 548 00:25:09,001 --> 00:25:11,021 Well, then I think Howie just got us to our silver. 549 00:25:11,023 --> 00:25:15,003 -[chuckles] -[tapping glass] 550 00:25:16,011 --> 00:25:17,011 Hi. 551 00:25:17,008 --> 00:25:18,018 Um... Hello? 552 00:25:18,020 --> 00:25:20,020 Great. Um... 553 00:25:23,001 --> 00:25:29,021 I would like to congratulate my very brave friend, Charlotte, 554 00:25:29,019 --> 00:25:31,019 who knows what she wants 555 00:25:31,022 --> 00:25:33,022 and who goes for it. 556 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,010 Not everyone can do that, 557 00:25:38,011 --> 00:25:41,021 especially when it comes to love. 558 00:25:41,022 --> 00:25:48,002 Some of us can't even say the words, but-- 559 00:25:48,005 --> 00:25:50,005 [screaming] 560 00:25:54,016 --> 00:25:56,016 [Anthony] Sorry, hon. 561 00:25:56,017 --> 00:25:58,997 Good speech though. 562 00:25:59,004 --> 00:26:01,014 Maybe Miranda just got us to our gold. 563 00:26:01,009 --> 00:26:02,019 [Harry laughs] 564 00:26:02,023 --> 00:26:05,023 -[drum roll] -[man] Mazel tov! 565 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,010 [applause] 566 00:26:09,012 --> 00:26:11,022 [music plays] 567 00:26:11,018 --> 00:26:15,008 [people singing and cheering] 568 00:26:43,013 --> 00:26:45,013 He's certainly acrobatic. 569 00:26:45,009 --> 00:26:49,019 [laughing] Oh, yeah, he's a regular "Jerk du Soleil." 570 00:26:52,019 --> 00:26:54,019 Do you think everyone knows I slept with him? 571 00:26:55,001 --> 00:26:58,011 Yes. And they all think you're a big "hora." 572 00:27:00,008 --> 00:27:02,008 [guests gasping and cheering] 573 00:27:05,013 --> 00:27:07,003 I don't like this, I'm afraid... 574 00:27:07,004 --> 00:27:07,024 [Harry] Of what? 575 00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:09,011 What's the worst that could happen? 576 00:27:09,013 --> 00:27:11,013 We'll live happily ever after? 577 00:27:11,015 --> 00:27:13,015 [Harry] Ho! 578 00:27:14,021 --> 00:27:16,011 [mouthing] 579 00:27:19,002 --> 00:27:22,022 [people cheering] 580 00:27:22,020 --> 00:27:24,020 [Carrie] And, of course, this being a wedding, 581 00:27:24,022 --> 00:27:26,012 there was one more catch to go. 582 00:27:26,007 --> 00:27:30,007 Okay... Ooh... Who's ready to catch the bouquet? 583 00:27:30,010 --> 00:27:31,020 Not me. 584 00:27:31,018 --> 00:27:36,008 I've lit myself on fire, I showed emotion in public, 585 00:27:36,009 --> 00:27:37,019 I think I'm done. 586 00:27:37,018 --> 00:27:39,008 Oh, you were fabulous. 587 00:27:39,014 --> 00:27:41,024 I believe you mean "flammable." 588 00:27:41,022 --> 00:27:43,012 [drum roll] 589 00:27:46,010 --> 00:27:48,000 Okay, now you're done. 590 00:27:48,004 --> 00:27:50,014 [Carrie] It wasn't a perfect catch... 591 00:27:50,012 --> 00:27:52,022 [upbeat music] 592 00:27:59,004 --> 00:28:01,014 And neither was mine. 593 00:28:02,003 --> 00:28:03,023 But I survived, 594 00:28:03,018 --> 00:28:05,018 because I have a good safety net. 595 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,010 [upbeat music continues] 596 00:28:07,012 --> 00:28:12,012 [all cheering]