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The single New Yorker's weekend
is all about buying...
2
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:57,002
The latest
Vogue, fresh flowers,
3
00:00:57,006 --> 00:01:01,006
and gifts for previously
single New Yorkers.
4
00:01:01,008 --> 00:01:03,998
Hi, I'm here for the Welker
wedding registry?
5
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I'll take the Newport
soup ladle
6
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and three Bimini
steak knives.
7
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The Baby Peck list.
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The Burpee Blanket.
9
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Okay, what is left?
10
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Fine, fine, I'll take
four espresso cups
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and a pepper grinder.
12
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Yeah, okay,
the L'il Me Activity Chair.
13
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That night, Stanford and I
were invited to celebrate
14
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the arrival of
baby boy Bronson,
15
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latest son of
Kyra and Chuck.
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-Easy, baby girl.
-Sorry.
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Hey, whatcha got
in there, Stanny?
18
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The Peter Rabbit
dish set,
19
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with matching bib.
20
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Dang, you snagged that?
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Oh, thanks to you, I was left
with the L'il Me Chair.
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Oh, and get this,
23
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I also got him a CD of
Free To Be You and Me.
24
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I loved Marlo Thomas!
25
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I played that album
all through the fifth grade!
26
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I wanted to run as fast
as the wind.
27
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I played "William Wants A Doll"
so many times
28
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I almost turned my
little sister into a gay man.
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Oh, hey!
30
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-Welcome to the party...
-Hey.
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I'm Margot, Kyra's sister.
32
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The gifts go
over on the table,
33
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and the shoes
go there.
34
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Oh.
35
00:02:19,012 --> 00:02:21,022
Kyra and Chuck don't like
outside dirt coming in.
36
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The twins are always picking
things up off the floor.
37
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But this is
an outfit.
38
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Uh-huh, they'd really
appreciate it.
39
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Margot!
40
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Good thing I wore
my party socks.
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Geez, if I'd known
I was gonna be shoeless,
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I would have compensated
with a big hat or something.
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Okay.
44
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Well, now I'm so teeny
45
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I might bump my head
on the coffee table.
46
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Watch out, L'il Me!
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Our hostess,
Kyra Bronson,
48
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had made a name for herself
in the early '90s
49
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taking pictures
of anorexic actresses
50
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on beds at
the Chelsea Hotel.
51
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-Hey, you two!
-Hey.
52
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Now, she took pictures
of fat babies in buckets.
53
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We come from
the east... 70's,
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bearing gifts.
55
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Where is
the blessed child?
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The baby,
he's in his room.
57
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You can't miss him,
he looks just like Chuck,
58
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except without that sad
closed-up hole in his ear
59
00:03:21,017 --> 00:03:23,017
from when he pierced it
in the '80s.
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-Anyway, here.
-Oh, thank you.
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I've gotta go,
other people need drinks,
62
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and by others
I mean me!
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-Hey, Milo, Allegra!
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Oh, waiter,
there's a baby in my drink.
65
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Uptown, Miranda was
putting her foot down
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in her co-op
board meeting.
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Look, we all want to find
the perfect tenant for 10G,
68
00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:46,012
all I'm asking is that
we not prolong the interview.
69
00:03:46,007 --> 00:03:48,007
Whatever decision
we make about...
70
00:03:48,013 --> 00:03:51,003
-Dr. Robert Leeds,
let's make it quick.
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00:03:51,004 --> 00:03:54,004
I've got a baby downstairs
getting over the chickenpox.
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I have a cataract!
73
00:03:57,015 --> 00:03:58,995
Hello, come in,
won't you?
74
00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:00,015
-Hi.
-Yes, hi.
75
00:04:01,001 --> 00:04:05,011
And suddenly, Miranda wasn't
so bored at her board meeting.
76
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:08,002
Hi, I'm Miranda Hobbes.
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00:04:08,002 --> 00:04:09,002
Hi.
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And this is...
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everybody else.
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And I'm Robert Leeds.
81
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But you probably
know that already,
82
00:04:15,006 --> 00:04:18,006
along with my social security
number and my jacket size.
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00:04:20,015 --> 00:04:24,995
So, Robert,
you're a doctor for the Knicks?
84
00:04:25,002 --> 00:04:26,012
Yeah, guilty as charged.
85
00:04:26,014 --> 00:04:27,024
How long have
you had that--
86
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,017
Hey, you've had
a great season!
87
00:04:28,022 --> 00:04:32,002
I take it you're not
a basketball fan.
88
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Well, you've got me there,
I'm a baseball person.
89
00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:36,023
Yankees or Mets?
90
00:04:37,001 --> 00:04:38,021
Please, Yankees.
91
00:04:38,020 --> 00:04:40,010
Oh, should have known.
92
00:04:40,008 --> 00:04:42,008
And what is that
supposed to mean?
93
00:04:42,008 --> 00:04:44,018
On page four
of your tax return--
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00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:47,017
Lynn, please,
we'll get to it.
95
00:04:49,009 --> 00:04:53,009
While Miranda was
playing a game of pick-up...
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00:04:53,007 --> 00:04:55,007
You tell them I'll do
depositions Friday,
97
00:04:55,013 --> 00:04:57,013
but only if
my client is ready.
98
00:04:57,022 --> 00:04:59,002
Uh-huh.
99
00:04:59,003 --> 00:05:01,013
...Charlotte was
picking up as well.
100
00:05:01,011 --> 00:05:03,021
Exactly.
What are you going
to push me on this?
101
00:05:03,023 --> 00:05:05,013
Don't push me!
102
00:05:05,012 --> 00:05:07,012
Because if you push me,
then I push back!
103
00:05:07,013 --> 00:05:09,023
I don't have to produce
my client for this, you know?
104
00:05:09,019 --> 00:05:11,009
Charlotte knew
when Harry moved in,
105
00:05:11,012 --> 00:05:13,002
he would unpack
his bags.
106
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-Exactly. Good.
She wasn't expecting
the tea bags.
107
00:05:16,013 --> 00:05:19,013
And everything else?
108
00:05:19,008 --> 00:05:20,018
Why are you
hocking me on this?
109
00:05:20,021 --> 00:05:22,021
Can you not hear
what I'm saying to you?
110
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Let me repeat
this slower.
111
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Open your ears, ready,
'cause here it comes.
112
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I don't think so!
113
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Clear?
114
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One tax return and a half hour
115
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of eyelash batting later...
116
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It was really nice
to meet you.
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You too.
118
00:05:37,008 --> 00:05:41,008
And, um, I won't hold
that Mets thing against you.
119
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I appreciate that.
120
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Well, he's perfect.
121
00:05:50,015 --> 00:05:53,995
Frankly, I am concerned
about his financials.
122
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His alimony payments
are awfully high.
123
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And he's never
owned before.
124
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You people are crazy.
125
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It's the single ones who
always throw the wild parties
126
00:06:03,015 --> 00:06:06,005
with all the girls.
127
00:06:06,014 --> 00:06:10,024
Okay, I think we all know
what's not being said here.
128
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The unspoken thing
was that Robert was cute
129
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and Miranda was horny.
130
00:06:20,016 --> 00:06:23,016
And then we saw the most
amazing house in Sag Harbor--
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I swear I had no idea
who we were bidding against.
132
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Oh, you liar!
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You two know
everything!
134
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That's true.
135
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We got the house,
136
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but we could not get a table
at Nick & Toni's
137
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for the rest
of the summer!
138
00:06:38,013 --> 00:06:40,013
Well, it's getting late.
139
00:06:40,014 --> 00:06:43,004
Oh my, we have
held you guys captive!
140
00:06:43,002 --> 00:06:44,022
No, no, we've had
a swell time.
141
00:06:44,022 --> 00:06:48,012
It's just,
it's midnight, he's gay,
he has to start his night.
142
00:06:49,013 --> 00:06:51,013
Anyway,
congrats on the baby.
143
00:06:51,012 --> 00:06:53,002
-Thanks.
Yeah, he's just...
144
00:06:53,004 --> 00:06:54,014
precious.
145
00:06:54,016 --> 00:06:55,996
Okay, bye.
146
00:06:56,003 --> 00:06:57,023
-Bye.
-Nice to meet you.
147
00:06:57,020 --> 00:06:59,000
And, of course,
148
00:06:59,004 --> 00:07:01,004
our landscaper takes off
with half of our trees.
149
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,013
We might have been
one foot out the door...
150
00:07:03,014 --> 00:07:06,024
but my shoes appeared
to have already left.
151
00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:11,020
And I told her
that's what you get for stealing
152
00:07:11,018 --> 00:07:12,998
Billy Joel's firewood!
153
00:07:14,019 --> 00:07:15,019
Hi.
154
00:07:15,021 --> 00:07:17,021
Was there another room
for the shoes?
155
00:07:17,018 --> 00:07:19,008
-No.
-Uh-uh.
156
00:07:19,010 --> 00:07:22,010
Well, mine seem
to have gone missing.
157
00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:25,007
That's crazy!
158
00:07:27,005 --> 00:07:28,005
God, Carrie,
I'm sorry.
159
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:31,015
I just can't imagine
where your shoes went.
160
00:07:31,019 --> 00:07:33,009
You know, Jennifer
was wearing sandals,
161
00:07:33,016 --> 00:07:35,006
perhaps she took
yours by mistake.
162
00:07:35,016 --> 00:07:37,016
Well, actually,
they weren't sandals,
163
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they were Manolos.
164
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I'm sure
they'll turn up.
165
00:07:41,011 --> 00:07:43,021
I can loan you
some shoes to go home in.
166
00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:55,995
They say you shouldn't
judge until you've
walked a mile
167
00:07:56,005 --> 00:07:58,015
in someone else's shoes.
168
00:07:58,023 --> 00:08:00,023
I made it six blocks.
169
00:08:03,005 --> 00:08:04,995
The next day over dessert,
170
00:08:05,002 --> 00:08:08,012
I was still not over the fact
that my shoes had deserted me.
171
00:08:08,012 --> 00:08:10,002
These were
new Manolos.
172
00:08:10,002 --> 00:08:12,012
I hadn't even done a full
lap around the party.
173
00:08:12,010 --> 00:08:14,020
And you know I don't play
favorites with my shoes,
174
00:08:14,018 --> 00:08:17,998
but these were
very special.
175
00:08:18,004 --> 00:08:20,004
Who would steal shoes
from a party?
176
00:08:20,003 --> 00:08:22,023
Someone size seven
with excellent taste.
177
00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:25,021
Why in hell did you take
your shoes off to begin with?
178
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We had to.
179
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For their kids.
180
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,008
Apparently we drag things
in on our heels
181
00:08:30,007 --> 00:08:31,007
that make
children sick.
182
00:08:31,016 --> 00:08:33,996
Please, it's children
who drag the germs around.
183
00:08:34,005 --> 00:08:36,005
Brady got the chickenpox
courtesy of some kid
184
00:08:36,007 --> 00:08:38,017
who licked him
at the playground.
185
00:08:38,021 --> 00:08:40,001
Oh, my God!
186
00:08:40,004 --> 00:08:41,024
Kyra must have
been mortified.
187
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:45,011
Actually, I kept waiting
for the mortification
that never came.
188
00:08:45,008 --> 00:08:47,018
She just said they might
turn up and sent me home.
189
00:08:47,019 --> 00:08:50,009
Those shoes are not turning up
anywhere but a pawn shop
in Brooklyn.
190
00:08:50,015 --> 00:08:51,015
Oh, stop.
191
00:08:51,022 --> 00:08:54,022
I'm gonna cry
in my flan.
192
00:08:54,019 --> 00:08:55,999
So that's it?
193
00:08:56,006 --> 00:08:57,016
They're just gone?
194
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,010
Boo-hoo?
195
00:08:59,009 --> 00:09:00,999
Well, legally
she owes you for them.
196
00:09:01,002 --> 00:09:03,022
I can't ask her
to pay for my shoes.
197
00:09:03,019 --> 00:09:04,019
Why not?
198
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,020
If you gave a party
and told her to leave
199
00:09:06,021 --> 00:09:08,011
her baby outside
in the hall,
200
00:09:08,008 --> 00:09:10,008
and her baby was missing
at the end of the night,
201
00:09:10,013 --> 00:09:12,013
believe me,
there'd be payback.
202
00:09:12,011 --> 00:09:14,021
That is the craziest thing
I've ever heard.
203
00:09:15,001 --> 00:09:17,001
Children are not shoes.
204
00:09:17,003 --> 00:09:18,023
I know, I know,
I'm not saying it.
205
00:09:18,022 --> 00:09:21,012
You have every right
to be upset about your shoes.
206
00:09:21,013 --> 00:09:23,023
I am so sick of these people
with their children.
207
00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:25,011
I'm telling you,
they're everywhere.
208
00:09:25,010 --> 00:09:27,010
Sitting next to me
in first class,
209
00:09:27,010 --> 00:09:29,010
eating at the next table
at Jean-Ge--
210
00:09:29,007 --> 00:09:30,007
Lucas...
211
00:09:30,011 --> 00:09:32,001
-Lucas, get over here right now.
-Look at that.
212
00:09:32,002 --> 00:09:34,012
This place is for
double cappuccinos,
213
00:09:34,011 --> 00:09:36,011
not double strollers.
214
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:38,020
I'm sorry.
215
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,010
Hey, no need
to apologize.
216
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:42,012
I wouldn't
bring Brady here.
217
00:09:42,007 --> 00:09:44,997
Mommy needs two hands
to eat her eight dollar cake.
218
00:09:45,006 --> 00:09:46,996
You're not gonna
defend children?
219
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:50,003
No, I don't like
any children but my own.
220
00:09:50,004 --> 00:09:52,004
Look at that dirty
little rug rat.
221
00:09:52,002 --> 00:09:55,012
That's just chocolate,
all children are beautiful.
222
00:09:55,013 --> 00:09:58,013
But, not as beautiful
as Brady.
223
00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:59,015
That's true.
224
00:09:59,019 --> 00:10:02,009
Hey, so how goes the big
matrimonial move-in?
225
00:10:02,011 --> 00:10:03,011
Good.
226
00:10:03,007 --> 00:10:05,007
Harry's moved most of his
stuff in,
227
00:10:05,016 --> 00:10:06,016
it's going well,
228
00:10:07,001 --> 00:10:10,021
and I'm just trying to learn
to compromise because sometimes,
229
00:10:10,022 --> 00:10:12,012
I can be
a little rigid.
230
00:10:12,009 --> 00:10:14,009
No!
That's not
true at all.
231
00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:17,003
There's just one thing
and it's small but...
232
00:10:17,002 --> 00:10:19,012
it really
grosses me out.
233
00:10:19,009 --> 00:10:20,999
We have a
tea bag situation.
234
00:10:21,005 --> 00:10:22,005
Oh, I understand.
235
00:10:22,015 --> 00:10:25,005
Just breathe
through your nose.
236
00:10:28,021 --> 00:10:30,011
When you're
sucking his balls.
237
00:10:30,007 --> 00:10:31,017
What, no!
238
00:10:31,018 --> 00:10:32,018
I was talking about...
239
00:10:32,023 --> 00:10:35,023
Harry leaves his old
tea bags around the house.
240
00:10:35,022 --> 00:10:38,012
Oh, I thought you meant
"tea bagging."
241
00:10:38,010 --> 00:10:41,010
When you hold a guy's
balls in your mouth.
242
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,997
Why is it called...
243
00:10:43,004 --> 00:10:45,024
Oh, I get it,
because they hang...
244
00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:48,001
-Shh!
-...and the dipping.
245
00:10:48,002 --> 00:10:49,012
Oh, great.
246
00:10:49,008 --> 00:10:52,008
Now I've lost my shoes
and my appetite.
247
00:10:52,010 --> 00:10:54,010
This is very good.
248
00:10:54,016 --> 00:10:56,016
You know what I love
about living with you?
249
00:10:56,018 --> 00:10:59,008
Besides those nutty little
soaps in the bathroom?
250
00:10:59,012 --> 00:11:01,012
-What?
-Living with you.
251
00:11:06,001 --> 00:11:07,011
Honey...
252
00:11:08,006 --> 00:11:09,996
I need
to talk to you.
253
00:11:10,005 --> 00:11:11,005
What's up, baby?
254
00:11:11,012 --> 00:11:14,022
I really don't mean
to be a nag, but it's just--
255
00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:17,010
Well, it's this.
256
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:21,000
-Tea?
-No, tea bags.
257
00:11:21,004 --> 00:11:24,014
You leave them all over
the house and, well,
they stain,
258
00:11:24,008 --> 00:11:26,018
and maybe you could just try
to be a little more careful.
259
00:11:26,023 --> 00:11:28,023
Damn, I thought
I was doing so well, too.
260
00:11:28,023 --> 00:11:29,023
What do you mean?
261
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,012
Well, I've been really
trying to watch my ass,
262
00:11:31,015 --> 00:11:32,995
you know, now that
I'm living in your house.
263
00:11:33,003 --> 00:11:35,023
It's our house now,
I want you to be yourself.
264
00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:39,010
Yeah, well, myself is pretty
much a bull in a china shop.
265
00:11:39,007 --> 00:11:42,007
Well, then, you're a bull
in our china shop.
266
00:11:45,019 --> 00:11:46,999
It's a bull.
267
00:11:47,004 --> 00:11:49,004
I get it.
268
00:11:49,005 --> 00:11:50,005
Just making sure.
269
00:11:50,008 --> 00:11:51,018
I get it.
270
00:11:57,001 --> 00:11:59,011
Hold it.
Ho, ho.
271
00:12:00,016 --> 00:12:02,006
Hey, Yankee.
272
00:12:04,017 --> 00:12:05,017
Welcome to the building.
273
00:12:05,021 --> 00:12:08,021
I have a feeling
you had a little something
to do with that.
274
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:11,018
Let's just say
you owe me big time.
275
00:12:18,008 --> 00:12:20,008
You have a pock.
276
00:12:20,021 --> 00:12:22,011
What?
277
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:23,018
On your face,
right there.
278
00:12:23,019 --> 00:12:25,019
Oh my God.
279
00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:27,010
I must've gotten it
from my kid.
280
00:12:27,016 --> 00:12:29,006
Oh, I thought
you were single.
281
00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:31,009
I am.
282
00:12:31,014 --> 00:12:35,004
It was the perfect
first conversation...
283
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,024
minus the pock.
284
00:12:39,014 --> 00:12:43,004
Alright, give me the lotion
and cotton balls, stat!
285
00:12:43,006 --> 00:12:44,996
You don't really
say "stat."
286
00:12:45,005 --> 00:12:47,005
No, but it sounds good,
doesn't it?
287
00:12:47,013 --> 00:12:50,003
Hey, so this is the little
germ disseminator.
288
00:12:50,006 --> 00:12:51,016
Also known as Brady.
289
00:12:52,001 --> 00:12:53,011
Run while you're
still breathing.
290
00:12:53,010 --> 00:12:55,020
No, no, it's okay, I had
the chickenpox when I was four.
291
00:12:55,021 --> 00:12:57,011
Hey,
where you going?
292
00:12:57,008 --> 00:13:00,008
Hi, hey there.
Ch-ch-ch-ch...
293
00:13:01,004 --> 00:13:02,024
Hey, he's a winner.
294
00:13:02,021 --> 00:13:05,011
I really want one
of these someday.
295
00:13:06,014 --> 00:13:07,024
You know,
he looks just like you.
296
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,010
-You think?
-Oh, yeah.
297
00:13:11,016 --> 00:13:13,006
-Hey, sweetie pie.
-Okay, mama,
298
00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:16,022
here we go.
299
00:13:16,019 --> 00:13:18,999
You know,
I could do this myself.
300
00:13:19,003 --> 00:13:21,013
Yeah,
but I'm a professional.
301
00:13:22,019 --> 00:13:26,009
Oh, Magda,
this is Dr. Robert Leeds.
302
00:13:26,007 --> 00:13:28,007
-He's moving in upstairs.
-Hi.
303
00:13:28,014 --> 00:13:30,024
Nice to meet you.
304
00:13:30,019 --> 00:13:32,009
I take baby for nap.
305
00:13:32,016 --> 00:13:33,016
Okay.
306
00:13:35,006 --> 00:13:37,016
Oh, hey, hey,
you got another one.
307
00:13:41,001 --> 00:13:43,011
Okay, Ms. Hobbes,
I think you'll live.
308
00:13:43,007 --> 00:13:45,997
-But no scratching,
doctor's orders.
-Okie-doke.
309
00:13:46,002 --> 00:13:50,002
For Miranda,
Robert was just what the
doctor ordered.
310
00:13:51,019 --> 00:13:53,009
Hey, Carrie,
what a surprise!
311
00:13:53,012 --> 00:13:54,022
Well, I was
in the neighborhood,
312
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,021
I thought you might
want these back.
313
00:13:56,023 --> 00:13:58,013
Oh, you didn't have
to return these.
314
00:13:58,008 --> 00:13:59,018
I had forgotten
all about them!
315
00:14:01,021 --> 00:14:03,011
Any news on my shoes?
316
00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:05,996
You know what,
no, it's weird.
317
00:14:08,008 --> 00:14:11,998
So, this Jennifer,
did you ever find her sandals?
318
00:14:12,002 --> 00:14:13,002
What?
319
00:14:13,004 --> 00:14:14,024
Well, if she took my shoes,
320
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,020
she would have left her sandals.
321
00:14:16,018 --> 00:14:19,018
Just being a bit of
a shoe detective here.
322
00:14:21,002 --> 00:14:23,002
I haven't heard
from her.
323
00:14:24,004 --> 00:14:26,014
Oh.
324
00:14:26,010 --> 00:14:28,020
Oh, my gosh, Carrie,
I am such a shit.
325
00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:30,020
I should have offered
to pay you for them.
326
00:14:30,019 --> 00:14:32,009
No, no, you don't
have to do that.
327
00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:36,010
You know, you have kids
and you lose all sense
of social decency.
328
00:14:36,011 --> 00:14:38,011
-Come in.
-Okay.
329
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:51,017
Milo, honey, put your
trucks back for Mommy.
330
00:14:52,013 --> 00:14:53,023
Okay.
331
00:14:54,001 --> 00:14:56,021
So, um,
how much were they?
332
00:14:56,018 --> 00:14:58,008
Uh, 485.
333
00:14:58,007 --> 00:15:02,007
C'mon, Carrie,
that's insane!
334
00:15:02,008 --> 00:15:05,008
Well, that's
what they cost.
335
00:15:06,011 --> 00:15:08,021
I'll give you $200.
336
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,020
Okay, this is an
awkward conversation.
337
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,010
I'm sorry.
I just think that's crazy
to spend that much on shoes.
338
00:15:15,008 --> 00:15:16,998
You know how much
Manolos are,
339
00:15:17,004 --> 00:15:18,014
you used
to wear Manolos.
340
00:15:18,015 --> 00:15:20,995
Sure,
before I had a real life.
341
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,014
But Chuck and I have
responsibilities now,
342
00:15:23,014 --> 00:15:25,014
kids, houses--
343
00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:27,020
485, like, wow.
344
00:15:27,017 --> 00:15:30,007
-Hi, honey.
345
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:33,000
I have a real life.
346
00:15:33,002 --> 00:15:35,022
No offense, Carrie,
but I really don't think
we should have to pay
347
00:15:35,022 --> 00:15:37,012
for your
extravagant lifestyle.
348
00:15:37,007 --> 00:15:40,017
I mean, it was your choice
to buy shoes that expensive.
349
00:15:40,017 --> 00:15:44,017
Yes, but it wasn't
my choice to take them off.
350
00:15:44,021 --> 00:15:46,021
They're just shoes!
351
00:15:47,021 --> 00:15:49,011
Shoes.
352
00:15:51,001 --> 00:15:52,021
She shoe shamed me.
353
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:54,017
I left there
covered in shame.
354
00:15:54,022 --> 00:15:56,012
She's a fucking bitch.
355
00:15:56,011 --> 00:15:58,001
But she isn't,
that's the thing.
356
00:15:58,004 --> 00:16:00,014
She's become this
whole other person.
357
00:16:00,008 --> 00:16:04,008
It's like she's had
two cesareans and a lobotomy.
358
00:16:04,011 --> 00:16:06,011
She owes you
for those shoes.
359
00:16:06,010 --> 00:16:08,020
No, it's not about the money.
I don't care about the money.
360
00:16:08,019 --> 00:16:12,019
I'm talking about
a woman's right to shoes.
361
00:16:12,019 --> 00:16:14,009
Why did she
have to shame me?
362
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:18,015
Because she's trapped
in a hell of her own making.
363
00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:20,019
No, wait,
that's me.
364
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:23,003
Ahh!
365
00:16:23,006 --> 00:16:25,016
I am dying to scratch these,
366
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:27,007
but if I do, it'll be worse.
367
00:16:27,014 --> 00:16:28,024
How are they today?
368
00:16:29,008 --> 00:16:30,008
Biblical.
369
00:16:30,012 --> 00:16:33,012
There is literally
a pox on my house.
370
00:16:33,012 --> 00:16:35,012
If there wasn't a
Jules and Mimi marathon
371
00:16:35,010 --> 00:16:39,000
on BBC America this weekend,
I'd have jumped out the window.
372
00:16:39,005 --> 00:16:41,005
Hey, speaking of
handsome black men...
373
00:16:41,014 --> 00:16:44,014
Have you spotted
any more of Dr. Knicks?
374
00:16:44,008 --> 00:16:45,998
Don't say spot.
375
00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:48,024
No, as a leper,
I'm laying low.
376
00:16:48,017 --> 00:16:51,007
But according to my sources,
he's officially in the building.
377
00:16:51,016 --> 00:16:54,006
Hey, is it bad that
my life is filled with shoes
378
00:16:54,009 --> 00:16:56,009
-and not children?
Stop it!
379
00:16:56,007 --> 00:16:59,017
And she is a fucking bitch
for making you feel this way.
380
00:17:00,012 --> 00:17:01,022
Oh, God.
381
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,020
When we were young,
Marlo Thomas sang to us
382
00:17:04,019 --> 00:17:07,019
about accepting each other
and our differences.
383
00:17:08,015 --> 00:17:09,995
But then we got older,
384
00:17:10,002 --> 00:17:11,022
and started singing
a different tune.
385
00:17:11,021 --> 00:17:14,011
We stopped celebrating
each other's life choices
386
00:17:14,011 --> 00:17:16,011
and started
qualifying them.
387
00:17:16,011 --> 00:17:19,021
Is acceptance really
such a childish concept?
388
00:17:19,019 --> 00:17:21,999
Or did we have it right
all along?
389
00:17:23,017 --> 00:17:26,997
When did we stop being free
to be you and me?
390
00:17:29,021 --> 00:17:30,021
The next morning,
391
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,020
Charlotte learned just how free
the real Harry could be.
392
00:17:33,021 --> 00:17:38,001
♪ Oh, the shark has
Pretty teeth, dear ♪
393
00:17:38,005 --> 00:17:40,995
♪ And he shows them ♪
Huh, huh, huh?
394
00:17:41,003 --> 00:17:44,013
♪ Pearly white
Da-da da-da-da ♪
395
00:17:44,016 --> 00:17:46,006
-Morning!
-Hi.
396
00:17:46,015 --> 00:17:49,995
♪ Ba da ba ba... ♪
397
00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:52,003
Are-- are you going
to take a shower?
398
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:53,024
In a little while.
399
00:18:00,018 --> 00:18:03,008
Some people are said to have
ice in their veins.
400
00:18:03,007 --> 00:18:05,997
-For John Snyder,
it seems to be ice cream.
401
00:18:06,006 --> 00:18:11,006
The thirty-nine-year-old is the
founder of Il Laboratorio Del
Gelato shop
402
00:18:11,009 --> 00:18:13,009
on Manhattan's
Lower East Side.
403
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,021
Apparently,
it took next to nothing
404
00:18:17,020 --> 00:18:19,020
to make Harry
feel comfortable.
405
00:18:24,014 --> 00:18:26,024
Charlotte felt
completely trapped.
406
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:29,021
She wanted to see Harry
be himself in her home...
407
00:18:31,005 --> 00:18:33,995
She just didn't need
to see that much of him.
408
00:18:37,003 --> 00:18:40,013
Meanwhile, I decided
to bare all to Kyra.
409
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:44,021
-♪ Clean it up ♪
-Hello?
410
00:18:44,021 --> 00:18:47,001
Hey!
Kyra, it's Carrie.
411
00:18:47,006 --> 00:18:51,006
Listen, I feel weird about
what happened the other day.
412
00:18:51,009 --> 00:18:54,009
We've been friends
a really long time and...
413
00:18:54,011 --> 00:18:56,011
I just--
I want to clear the air.
414
00:18:56,015 --> 00:18:59,005
Oh my God, Carrie, I had
forgotten about that days ago.
415
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,007
♪ Clean it up ♪
416
00:19:00,011 --> 00:19:03,011
Well, I didn't, I've been
thinking a lot about it and--
417
00:19:03,014 --> 00:19:06,014
Man, you must have a lot
of time on your hands.
418
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:07,012
Milo!
419
00:19:07,010 --> 00:19:09,010
Pants stay on,
I'm serious!
420
00:19:09,012 --> 00:19:11,022
Penises stay in the bathroom!
Carrie,
421
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:14,007
can you hold on for one second?
I'll be right back, thanks.
422
00:19:18,001 --> 00:19:19,001
Hello?
423
00:19:20,006 --> 00:19:22,006
Hello, Santa?
424
00:19:26,018 --> 00:19:27,018
You know what?
425
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,010
I am Santa.
426
00:19:29,008 --> 00:19:30,998
I did a little mental addition,
427
00:19:31,002 --> 00:19:33,002
and over the years
I have bought Kyra
428
00:19:33,003 --> 00:19:35,003
an engagement gift,
a wedding gift,
429
00:19:35,004 --> 00:19:37,014
then there was the trip
to Maine for the wedding,
430
00:19:37,012 --> 00:19:38,022
three baby gifts...
431
00:19:38,018 --> 00:19:43,008
In toto, I have spent
over $2,300
432
00:19:43,009 --> 00:19:45,009
celebrating her choices.
433
00:19:45,011 --> 00:19:47,011
And she is shaming me
for spending
434
00:19:47,012 --> 00:19:51,002
a lousy 485 bucks
on myself?
435
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,013
Yes, I did the math.
436
00:19:53,016 --> 00:19:54,996
But those were gifts.
437
00:19:55,003 --> 00:19:57,013
I mean, if you got married
or had a child,
438
00:19:57,008 --> 00:19:59,008
she would spend
the same on you.
439
00:19:59,016 --> 00:20:02,006
And if I don't ever get
married or have a baby...
440
00:20:02,015 --> 00:20:04,015
What, I get bupkis?
441
00:20:04,017 --> 00:20:05,017
Think about it.
442
00:20:05,023 --> 00:20:07,013
If you are single,
after graduation,
443
00:20:07,016 --> 00:20:11,006
there isn't one occasion
where people celebrate you.
444
00:20:11,012 --> 00:20:12,012
We have birthdays.
445
00:20:12,013 --> 00:20:15,013
Oh, no, no, no, no,
we all have birthdays.
446
00:20:15,013 --> 00:20:16,013
That's a wash.
447
00:20:16,010 --> 00:20:19,010
I am talking about
the single gal.
448
00:20:19,016 --> 00:20:20,996
Hallmark doesn't make a, uh...
449
00:20:21,005 --> 00:20:25,015
"Congratulations you didn't
marry the wrong guy" card.
450
00:20:25,019 --> 00:20:29,009
And where is the flatware
for going on vacation alone?
451
00:20:29,015 --> 00:20:31,005
-You're right.
-Uh-huh.
452
00:20:31,009 --> 00:20:32,999
Why should I get
wedding gifts?
453
00:20:33,003 --> 00:20:34,023
Finding Harry
was gift enough.
454
00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:35,020
No, no, no, no.
455
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,000
I'm thrilled to give you gifts
to celebrate your life.
456
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:41,005
I just think it stinks
that single people
457
00:20:41,012 --> 00:20:42,012
are left out of it.
458
00:20:42,014 --> 00:20:44,014
So, the moral of
the story appears to be,
459
00:20:44,015 --> 00:20:48,005
until I get married, I won't
be seeing nothing from Kyra.
460
00:20:48,008 --> 00:20:49,018
-Oh.
-How's the pistachio?
461
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000
-It's so good, you want some?
-Is it? Yeah.
462
00:20:52,003 --> 00:20:56,003
Meanwhile,
Samantha was trying to
have a working lunch.
463
00:20:58,022 --> 00:21:00,012
Yeah, we got cut off.
464
00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:02,999
Look, I need to get him
three VIP seats and--
465
00:21:03,005 --> 00:21:04,015
Look at you!
466
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,010
Look at you
eating your pesto!
467
00:21:07,009 --> 00:21:08,019
Ooh.
468
00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:12,999
No, I don't want
any shitty house seats.
469
00:21:13,006 --> 00:21:15,006
-Listen to me...
Who's a big boy?
470
00:21:15,013 --> 00:21:16,023
No, I can't have any--
471
00:21:16,023 --> 00:21:19,013
Excuse me,
we don't allow cell phones.
472
00:21:19,008 --> 00:21:20,008
Are you kidding me?
473
00:21:20,015 --> 00:21:23,015
-No.
-I'll call you back.
474
00:21:23,023 --> 00:21:26,023
I understand that my cell phone
may be annoying to some,
475
00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:29,013
but what are you
doing about that noise?
476
00:21:33,013 --> 00:21:35,013
There's nothing
we can do about that.
477
00:21:35,015 --> 00:21:37,015
That's a child.
478
00:21:37,018 --> 00:21:40,998
And that was all
Samantha had to hear.
479
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,021
Hello.
480
00:21:46,001 --> 00:21:47,021
I understand that
your child and I
481
00:21:47,020 --> 00:21:49,010
have to coexist
in this city,
482
00:21:49,013 --> 00:21:51,023
but perhaps you could take him
somewhere more appropriate
483
00:21:51,023 --> 00:21:56,013
for a happy meal,
so I could have a happier one--
484
00:21:56,009 --> 00:22:00,999
Seamus,
that wasn't very nice.
485
00:22:01,006 --> 00:22:06,016
Well, I've made my point,
and he's made his.
486
00:22:08,015 --> 00:22:14,995
If you see a monster
that's smart... That is real!
487
00:22:15,006 --> 00:22:16,006
And it's...
488
00:22:17,006 --> 00:22:18,016
Honey!
489
00:22:20,004 --> 00:22:22,004
Honey?
490
00:22:22,005 --> 00:22:24,005
Hello, beautiful.
491
00:22:24,014 --> 00:22:25,024
Hi.
492
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,010
Do you know what we need
to bring back in this house?
493
00:22:29,012 --> 00:22:31,002
Cocktail hour.
494
00:22:33,002 --> 00:22:35,012
Charlotte realized
there was something grosser
495
00:22:35,013 --> 00:22:37,003
than tea bags
all over her house...
496
00:22:39,003 --> 00:22:42,013
Her husband's tea bags
all over her new white couch.
497
00:22:42,010 --> 00:22:43,010
Harry!
498
00:22:43,008 --> 00:22:45,008
What?
499
00:22:45,011 --> 00:22:48,001
No I--
I feel bad.
500
00:22:48,003 --> 00:22:49,013
About what?
501
00:22:50,011 --> 00:22:51,021
Well, I'm trying
to be less rigid
502
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,020
and I really do want you
to be yourself in our house.
503
00:22:54,021 --> 00:22:57,001
I know you do,
and I appreciate it.
504
00:22:57,004 --> 00:23:01,014
And... I'm almost
used to the whole...
505
00:23:01,009 --> 00:23:02,019
naked thing.
506
00:23:02,020 --> 00:23:05,010
Ah, I knew
it was too much.
507
00:23:05,013 --> 00:23:06,013
It's just me.
508
00:23:06,012 --> 00:23:08,002
But I can put on clothes...
509
00:23:08,002 --> 00:23:09,022
No.
510
00:23:09,021 --> 00:23:12,021
I want you to be yourself,
it's just...
511
00:23:13,001 --> 00:23:15,021
maybe you could put
something between yourself
512
00:23:15,019 --> 00:23:16,999
and the white couch.
513
00:23:17,005 --> 00:23:18,005
Oh, I get it.
514
00:23:18,013 --> 00:23:21,013
We've got kind of an ass,
white couch situation here.
515
00:23:21,014 --> 00:23:23,014
I will put
on shorts.
516
00:23:23,012 --> 00:23:24,022
Could you?
517
00:23:24,020 --> 00:23:25,020
Of course.
518
00:23:25,023 --> 00:23:27,003
Oh.
519
00:23:31,014 --> 00:23:32,024
Now?
520
00:23:37,015 --> 00:23:38,015
Love you!
521
00:23:57,002 --> 00:23:58,022
Miranda, you in there?
522
00:24:00,007 --> 00:24:02,007
I can see your feet
under the door.
523
00:24:03,007 --> 00:24:03,997
Damn.
524
00:24:04,006 --> 00:24:05,996
Come on, I just came by
to check up on you.
525
00:24:06,005 --> 00:24:07,005
I'm fine.
526
00:24:07,010 --> 00:24:10,010
Hey, I've seen it all,
I'm a doctor, remember?
527
00:24:14,013 --> 00:24:15,023
I'm fine.
528
00:24:16,001 --> 00:24:17,011
Come on in.
529
00:24:18,010 --> 00:24:20,000
Oh, it's not that bad.
530
00:24:20,006 --> 00:24:22,006
Hey, I've seen a
seven-foot-tall man's shin bone
531
00:24:22,011 --> 00:24:24,021
poking through
his calf, so...
532
00:24:25,001 --> 00:24:26,011
Hey, where's Brady?
533
00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:27,017
Oh, he's asleep.
534
00:24:27,021 --> 00:24:29,011
Oh, that's too bad.
I wanted to give him this.
535
00:24:29,015 --> 00:24:33,005
Oh, I'm pretty sure
his hand-eye coordination
536
00:24:33,009 --> 00:24:35,019
is still a little sub-par
to make the team.
537
00:24:35,018 --> 00:24:38,008
Hey, if he's gonna go pro,
you gotta start him young.
538
00:24:38,011 --> 00:24:39,011
What are you watching?
539
00:24:39,012 --> 00:24:42,002
Oh, it's just
Jules and Mimi.
540
00:24:42,005 --> 00:24:45,015
-It's silly.
-Yeah, what's it about?
541
00:24:45,017 --> 00:24:48,017
Well, that's Mimi,
she's the landlord,
542
00:24:48,019 --> 00:24:51,009
and right next to her
there is Jules,
543
00:24:51,015 --> 00:24:53,015
and they've slept together
a couple of times,
544
00:24:53,021 --> 00:24:55,021
but Jules may be
involved with the girl
545
00:24:55,018 --> 00:24:57,998
-who works
in the sausage shop.
-Mmm.
546
00:24:58,002 --> 00:24:58,022
In a nutshell.
547
00:24:58,023 --> 00:25:00,023
Well, he seems to be
pretty into her now.
548
00:25:00,019 --> 00:25:01,019
Yeah.
549
00:25:01,019 --> 00:25:03,009
I'm intrigued.
550
00:25:04,020 --> 00:25:05,020
Really?
551
00:25:05,019 --> 00:25:07,019
That and my cable's
not hooked up yet.
552
00:25:14,005 --> 00:25:15,015
Jules...
553
00:25:15,021 --> 00:25:19,011
You know, you didn't have to
bring the rent over in person.
554
00:25:19,008 --> 00:25:21,008
What's a few tube stops
between friends, eh?
555
00:25:21,013 --> 00:25:23,023
I love a brother
with an accent.
556
00:25:23,023 --> 00:25:26,013
Do you think we'll
stay friends after this?
557
00:25:26,012 --> 00:25:28,002
I hope not.
558
00:25:41,018 --> 00:25:46,018
Oh, Mimi, you're so soft.
559
00:25:50,008 --> 00:25:53,998
That night, I decided
I couldn't wait for a ring.
560
00:25:54,002 --> 00:25:56,022
And so, I gave
someone else one.
561
00:26:00,004 --> 00:26:01,024
This is Milo...
562
00:26:01,022 --> 00:26:02,022
This is Allegra.
563
00:26:03,001 --> 00:26:05,021
Mommy and Daddy and baby Henry
564
00:26:05,017 --> 00:26:07,007
and us aren't here.
565
00:26:07,015 --> 00:26:10,005
Leave a message!
566
00:26:11,013 --> 00:26:14,003
Hi, it's Carrie Bradshaw.
567
00:26:14,002 --> 00:26:18,012
I wanted to let you know
that I'm getting married...
568
00:26:18,010 --> 00:26:19,020
to myself.
569
00:26:19,017 --> 00:26:22,017
Oh, and I'm registered
at Manolo Blahnik.
570
00:26:22,020 --> 00:26:25,010
So thanks, bye.
571
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,010
One giant step
for me.
572
00:26:28,016 --> 00:26:31,016
One small step
for single womankind.
573
00:26:35,014 --> 00:26:37,014
Here they are.
574
00:26:37,014 --> 00:26:39,004
That's all
she registered for?
575
00:26:39,002 --> 00:26:40,012
Uh-huh.
That'll be...
576
00:26:40,014 --> 00:26:43,024
485, yeah.
577
00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:45,008
Plus tax.
578
00:26:45,011 --> 00:26:47,011
And could you please
watch your children?
579
00:26:47,016 --> 00:26:50,016
We don't want them
touching the shoes, thanks.
580
00:27:17,019 --> 00:27:20,009
It was my very first
wedding present.
581
00:27:22,016 --> 00:27:23,016
The fact is,
582
00:27:23,023 --> 00:27:26,023
sometimes it's hard to walk
in a single woman's shoes...
583
00:27:26,020 --> 00:27:30,010
That's why we need really
special ones now and then
584
00:27:30,010 --> 00:27:33,000
to make the walk
a little more fun.