1 00:00:48,005 --> 00:00:50,015 A single gal spends most of her life 2 00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:52,017 searching for the perfect mail. 3 00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:08,011 And out of the blue, it arrives. 4 00:01:10,008 --> 00:01:13,008 Aleksandr Petrovsky was a rather famous artist 5 00:01:13,013 --> 00:01:15,023 with whom I'd had one rather infamous date. 6 00:01:16,001 --> 00:01:19,011 It's been three whole weeks, I thought you died or something. 7 00:01:19,011 --> 00:01:21,021 I did die, from rejection. 8 00:01:21,018 --> 00:01:25,008 How could you have left me on the street all alone? 9 00:01:25,015 --> 00:01:26,015 It still hurts. 10 00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:30,000 Oh, you'll get over it, you're a big boy. 11 00:01:30,003 --> 00:01:32,023 And where did you get this information? 12 00:01:32,020 --> 00:01:35,000 I was in Holland for work. 13 00:01:35,003 --> 00:01:37,023 Oh, Holland, listen to you. 14 00:01:37,017 --> 00:01:38,017 Been there? 15 00:01:38,022 --> 00:01:41,012 Uh, to the "land of the wooden shoes"? 16 00:01:41,007 --> 00:01:44,997 No, no, no, no. Mm-mm. 17 00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:47,005 I brought you a little present. 18 00:01:47,013 --> 00:01:49,003 Let's sit down. 19 00:01:54,009 --> 00:01:55,999 Milk chocolate. 20 00:01:56,023 --> 00:01:58,023 Or perhaps you like dark? 21 00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:00,998 I've got it right here. 22 00:02:01,004 --> 00:02:03,014 You don't have a mouse trap in there do you? 23 00:02:03,014 --> 00:02:05,024 No... Why would I? 24 00:02:05,017 --> 00:02:08,007 I was being silly. You know, 25 00:02:08,012 --> 00:02:10,012 in the cartoons, when they put 26 00:02:10,007 --> 00:02:12,017 their hands in the things-- 27 00:02:12,023 --> 00:02:15,013 -Okay. 28 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,000 Okay. 29 00:02:18,003 --> 00:02:19,013 Ooh. 30 00:02:19,011 --> 00:02:21,001 Et voila. 31 00:02:21,005 --> 00:02:22,995 Light or dark? 32 00:02:23,023 --> 00:02:25,013 A little piece. 33 00:02:37,016 --> 00:02:40,006 Second only to the search for the perfect male... 34 00:02:40,009 --> 00:02:42,019 is the search for the perfect fragrance. 35 00:02:42,019 --> 00:02:44,019 Am I peppermint musk? 36 00:02:46,018 --> 00:02:49,008 Ladies, I'm taking a lova. 37 00:02:49,016 --> 00:02:50,016 Yes... 38 00:02:50,023 --> 00:02:54,013 A lova. Aleksandr Petrovsky. 39 00:02:54,013 --> 00:02:55,013 Wait, the old guy? 40 00:02:55,016 --> 00:02:58,006 I beg your pardon. 41 00:02:58,015 --> 00:03:00,015 My lova is not old. 42 00:03:00,019 --> 00:03:03,009 He is worldly and wise 43 00:03:03,012 --> 00:03:04,022 and very sexy. 44 00:03:04,021 --> 00:03:06,021 He is sexy. -Very. 45 00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:09,010 Yesterday, I almost did it with him on a park bench 46 00:03:09,011 --> 00:03:10,021 in front of children. 47 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,003 What stopped you? 48 00:03:12,003 --> 00:03:12,023 Common decency. 49 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,020 -Oh, that. -Well, that and the fact 50 00:03:14,022 --> 00:03:17,002 that I'm not "lova ready." 51 00:03:17,002 --> 00:03:18,022 I need a little bikini waxage. 52 00:03:18,022 --> 00:03:20,012 Well, then snap to it. 53 00:03:20,008 --> 00:03:22,018 Don't play hard to get with a man who's hard to get. 54 00:03:22,020 --> 00:03:24,010 Maybe cucumber-basil? 55 00:03:24,009 --> 00:03:26,009 Why would you want to smell like a salad? 56 00:03:26,014 --> 00:03:29,014 -I can't decide what I am. -What do you mean "not old"? 57 00:03:31,013 --> 00:03:33,003 Hello, 60. 58 00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:36,015 He is in his lova-perfect early 50's. 59 00:03:36,019 --> 00:03:39,999 That's a good age. They've been around the block and know how to use their cock. 60 00:03:40,006 --> 00:03:42,016 Oh, you rhyme now. And where did you get his picture? 61 00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:44,000 -I googled him. -Oh. 62 00:03:44,005 --> 00:03:46,005 I wanted Miranda to see your potential new boyfriend. 63 00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:48,020 -Not boyfriend... lova. -How long are you 64 00:03:48,021 --> 00:03:50,001 gonna keep saying it like that? 65 00:03:50,006 --> 00:03:53,006 Uncomfortable with my taking a lova? 66 00:03:53,007 --> 00:03:55,017 Maybe he could be more than a lova. 67 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,010 Oh, Jesus. 68 00:03:57,011 --> 00:04:00,011 Ah... No, the only place this is going is Lovaville. 69 00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:02,010 Well, I could see it going somewhere. 70 00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:05,018 Oh, please. Listen, half the time, I can't even understand him. 71 00:04:05,020 --> 00:04:08,010 We have nothing in common, he's in and out of Europe-- 72 00:04:08,016 --> 00:04:09,006 That could be good! 73 00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:11,016 Honey, you're not listening. She only wants him 74 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:12,997 to be in and out of her. 75 00:04:13,006 --> 00:04:17,006 Yes, but in a much less obvious-sounding way. 76 00:04:17,008 --> 00:04:19,008 How about pomegranate-patchouli? 77 00:04:21,008 --> 00:04:23,008 No, you need something classic. Clean. 78 00:04:23,014 --> 00:04:25,024 With just a hint of neurosis. 79 00:04:27,012 --> 00:04:29,022 How about you? Are you finding anything? 80 00:04:29,022 --> 00:04:30,022 I don't know. 81 00:04:31,001 --> 00:04:33,011 I'm trying to figure out what Steve might like. 82 00:04:33,010 --> 00:04:35,010 Just get some Old Spice and call it a day. 83 00:04:35,014 --> 00:04:37,014 Steve does not wear Old Spice. 84 00:04:37,014 --> 00:04:39,024 He wears nothing and he smells great. 85 00:04:39,021 --> 00:04:40,021 Oh... 86 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,010 ♪ Miranda and Steve Sitting in a tree ♪ 87 00:04:43,014 --> 00:04:46,024 ♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G, First comes love-- ♪ 88 00:04:46,022 --> 00:04:49,002 Well, actually, first comes baby. 89 00:04:49,004 --> 00:04:51,004 Oh, great. 90 00:04:51,005 --> 00:04:54,005 Now I have to spend the rest of the day smelling like-- 91 00:04:54,011 --> 00:04:56,001 -Apples and hay. 92 00:04:56,003 --> 00:04:57,013 Oh, you bastard. 93 00:04:57,007 --> 00:04:58,007 Okay, let's go. 94 00:04:58,012 --> 00:05:01,002 Aren't you going to get something for your new lova? 95 00:05:01,004 --> 00:05:04,024 I suspect he already likes the way I smell. 96 00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:13,008 Hey. How lucky are we? 97 00:05:14,002 --> 00:05:15,012 Very. 98 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:17,010 If Miranda and Steve had a fragrance, 99 00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:21,016 -it would be called "Perfection." 100 00:05:29,018 --> 00:05:31,008 If Miranda, Steve and Robert, 101 00:05:31,016 --> 00:05:33,006 her ex and neighbor, had a fragrance... 102 00:05:33,013 --> 00:05:35,023 "Less Than Perfection", 103 00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:39,011 In fact, "Awful", "Uncomfortable" and "Terrible." 104 00:05:39,016 --> 00:05:40,996 Hi. 105 00:05:41,006 --> 00:05:43,016 Well, if it isn't the happy couple. 106 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,010 How are you today? 107 00:05:55,015 --> 00:05:57,015 Y'all have a nice day. 108 00:06:03,009 --> 00:06:04,999 So the doctor said that Harry and I 109 00:06:05,004 --> 00:06:06,014 have to wait at least two months 110 00:06:06,014 --> 00:06:08,014 before we can even try to get pregnant again 111 00:06:08,009 --> 00:06:10,019 and I'd like to go back to work, but then if I do get pregnant, 112 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,010 that's not really fair to the new employer, so I-- 113 00:06:12,015 --> 00:06:15,015 I'm sleeping and walking, sleeping and walking. 114 00:06:15,017 --> 00:06:16,017 How am I doing that? 115 00:06:16,022 --> 00:06:18,022 That's rude, this is important to me. 116 00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:20,001 I know it's important to you, 117 00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:21,024 you know it's important to you, 118 00:06:21,017 --> 00:06:23,997 the homeless guy on the corner of 57th and 7th 119 00:06:24,002 --> 00:06:25,002 knows it's important to you. 120 00:06:25,002 --> 00:06:27,022 Can we please talk about something else? 121 00:06:27,022 --> 00:06:30,022 I'll give you $100 if you say something bitchy about someone we know. 122 00:06:30,019 --> 00:06:33,019 No, I'm trying to figure out my next direction 123 00:06:34,001 --> 00:06:35,021 -and I need to talk about it. -Fine. 124 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:37,010 Talk till my ears bleed. 125 00:06:37,008 --> 00:06:39,018 But do yourself a favor and stop for a minute 126 00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:40,020 and look at the light. 127 00:06:40,023 --> 00:06:42,013 You mean the fact that 128 00:06:42,008 --> 00:06:44,008 no matter what happens with the baby... 129 00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:45,022 Harry and I will always have each other? 130 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,010 No, Char, the friggin' light over there in the park. 131 00:06:51,006 --> 00:06:52,016 When did it become fall? 132 00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:55,010 Somewhere between your ovaries and my boredom. 133 00:06:55,008 --> 00:06:58,008 Over to your left. Yeah, over to your right. 134 00:06:58,013 --> 00:07:01,003 Imagine being blind and not being able 135 00:07:01,006 --> 00:07:03,996 to see a beautiful day like today. 136 00:07:04,002 --> 00:07:06,002 Can you think of anything worse? 137 00:07:06,003 --> 00:07:10,003 Stone washed jeans with a matching jacket. 138 00:07:10,003 --> 00:07:12,013 Maybe I should stop thinking so much about myself 139 00:07:12,013 --> 00:07:14,013 and volunteer for the blind or something. 140 00:07:14,012 --> 00:07:15,022 That would be a nice thing to do. 141 00:07:15,021 --> 00:07:16,021 Yeah. 142 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:18,019 -Very Jackie O. -Whoo... 143 00:07:20,001 --> 00:07:22,011 Okay. Let me begin. 144 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,009 Can I ask you a question? 145 00:07:23,016 --> 00:07:25,016 Yes, it will hurt a little. 146 00:07:25,017 --> 00:07:27,007 Oh, no, that's not the question. 147 00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:29,003 Uh, are you Russian? 148 00:07:29,005 --> 00:07:30,005 -Yes. 149 00:07:30,011 --> 00:07:33,001 -Ooh. -See? Hurt a little. 150 00:07:33,005 --> 00:07:34,995 Uh, yes, um... 151 00:07:35,003 --> 00:07:38,023 I was wondering, how do you say "hello" in Russian. 152 00:07:38,018 --> 00:07:39,998 Zdrastvuyte. 153 00:07:40,003 --> 00:07:42,013 Zdrastvuyte? 154 00:07:42,007 --> 00:07:45,007 Um... and, uh... um... 155 00:07:45,010 --> 00:07:48,000 How do you say "thank you"? 156 00:07:48,004 --> 00:07:49,024 -Spasiba. 157 00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,013 Spasiba. 158 00:07:52,012 --> 00:07:53,022 You're welcome. 159 00:07:53,019 --> 00:07:55,009 Ooh. 160 00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:58,007 The only thing more uncomfortable than a bikini wax 161 00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,011 is an elevator ride with an ex. 162 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:03,023 Luckily, Miranda had figured out a way to avoid that. 163 00:08:03,018 --> 00:08:06,008 Unfortunately, Robert had also. 164 00:08:06,011 --> 00:08:08,011 Robert, hi. 165 00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:13,011 Okay, I guess I deserve that. Robert? 166 00:08:14,014 --> 00:08:15,024 I'm-- I'm sorry. 167 00:08:15,019 --> 00:08:16,999 I never meant to hurt you, 168 00:08:17,006 --> 00:08:19,006 Steve and I just fell back in love. 169 00:08:19,010 --> 00:08:22,010 Oh, and so what was I? 170 00:08:22,010 --> 00:08:23,020 Your little halftime show? 171 00:08:23,022 --> 00:08:25,012 What? 172 00:08:25,012 --> 00:08:27,002 Not at all. 173 00:08:27,005 --> 00:08:29,005 I never thought that Steve and I would get back together 174 00:08:29,016 --> 00:08:31,016 or I never would have started up with you. 175 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,000 I hope you understand that. 176 00:08:34,002 --> 00:08:36,002 Well, I'll try... 177 00:08:36,003 --> 00:08:39,003 And I hope you understand when you get my bill. 178 00:08:39,006 --> 00:08:40,006 Your bill? 179 00:08:40,008 --> 00:08:41,008 Yeah, my bill... 180 00:08:41,009 --> 00:08:42,019 for services rendered. 181 00:08:42,019 --> 00:08:44,009 You know, my stud fee. 182 00:08:44,012 --> 00:08:45,022 Robert, come on-- 183 00:08:45,019 --> 00:08:48,009 No, no, no, hey, it's cool. 184 00:08:48,008 --> 00:08:50,018 you're a busy working mother. 185 00:08:50,020 --> 00:08:53,000 Too tired to go out and eat? Call Hunan Kitchen... 186 00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:54,013 Too tired to go out and fuck? 187 00:08:54,014 --> 00:08:56,004 -Call Robert. -That's not true. 188 00:08:56,004 --> 00:08:58,024 Sure it is, fast food, fast fuck. 189 00:08:58,018 --> 00:08:59,998 You were not a fast fuck. 190 00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,016 No, you're right, I wasn't. 191 00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:03,018 I was slow, nice and slow. 192 00:09:03,017 --> 00:09:06,007 Just the way you liked it. 193 00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:12,010 "Oh, Robert. Oh, yes, ooh! Robert! 194 00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,019 Oh, God, Robert! 195 00:09:14,022 --> 00:09:16,012 Ooh! 196 00:09:16,009 --> 00:09:19,019 No man has ever been in this deep!" 197 00:09:24,013 --> 00:09:26,003 Hey, what are you doing back? 198 00:09:26,004 --> 00:09:28,014 I gave Robert custody of the elevator. 199 00:09:28,012 --> 00:09:31,012 What? We're moving my stuff in here next week 200 00:09:31,009 --> 00:09:32,009 and you gave him the elevator? 201 00:09:32,013 --> 00:09:34,003 You're lucky I didn't give him Brady. 202 00:09:34,004 --> 00:09:36,004 I bumped into him on the stairs. 203 00:09:36,004 --> 00:09:37,014 How bad was it? 204 00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:38,009 Hug me. 205 00:09:40,007 --> 00:09:42,017 Oh, it's that bad, huh? 206 00:09:43,019 --> 00:09:46,009 So, we can't ever use the elevator? 207 00:09:46,007 --> 00:09:48,017 Not between 8:00 a.m. and 10:00 p.m. 208 00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:50,020 -We have a baby and a stroller! -I know! 209 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:54,013 Why, why, why did I have to shit where I eat? 210 00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:56,011 Look, he's just upset, it'll blow over. 211 00:09:56,010 --> 00:09:58,000 I don't think so, Steve. 212 00:09:58,002 --> 00:09:59,022 The man is crazy in love with me 213 00:09:59,020 --> 00:10:00,020 and now he's acting out... 214 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,010 Talking about how I said no man's ever been in me that deep. 215 00:10:05,023 --> 00:10:08,023 -What? -Nothing. 216 00:10:08,017 --> 00:10:09,017 Steve. 217 00:10:09,020 --> 00:10:11,000 Nothing, I'm fine. 218 00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:16,013 Wednesday night, after dinner, 219 00:10:16,011 --> 00:10:19,021 I took the express elevator to Lovaville. 220 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:22,000 Spasiba. 221 00:10:22,005 --> 00:10:23,995 Oh, you speak Russian very well. 222 00:10:24,005 --> 00:10:25,005 Spasiba. 223 00:10:25,009 --> 00:10:26,019 Is that the only word you know? 224 00:10:26,018 --> 00:10:28,018 Zdrastvuyte. 225 00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:31,010 Yes, that is the only word you know. 226 00:10:35,015 --> 00:10:38,015 There is my studio and here is my house. 227 00:10:40,020 --> 00:10:42,010 You have the entire floor? 228 00:10:42,011 --> 00:10:43,011 Not at first, 229 00:10:43,016 --> 00:10:45,006 but over the years... 230 00:10:58,022 --> 00:11:00,002 Spasiba. 231 00:11:00,006 --> 00:11:01,006 Zdrastvuyte. 232 00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:09,011 This used to be some kind of sewing factory 233 00:11:09,007 --> 00:11:11,017 or sweatshop in the 1930's. 234 00:11:12,001 --> 00:11:14,011 That's a lovely story. 235 00:11:21,008 --> 00:11:22,998 Hmm, very nice. 236 00:11:23,005 --> 00:11:26,005 If you like that whole window-sky thing. 237 00:11:26,007 --> 00:11:27,007 Yes. 238 00:11:27,007 --> 00:11:29,007 It's lovely light in the morning. 239 00:11:35,002 --> 00:11:38,022 Study and kitchen... 240 00:11:38,018 --> 00:11:41,008 Would you like some fruit or a martini or something? 241 00:11:41,013 --> 00:11:43,023 Why don't you show me upstairs? 242 00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:13,010 My Russian may have been shaky, 243 00:12:13,010 --> 00:12:17,020 but I discovered I spoke lover very well. 244 00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:37,002 Turns out, 245 00:12:37,002 --> 00:12:40,022 I'd found a sweet bed and breakfast in Lovaville. 246 00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:53,000 Good morning. Um, where-- 247 00:12:57,009 --> 00:12:59,999 Morning. Come, come, sit. 248 00:13:02,013 --> 00:13:04,003 In the light of day, 249 00:13:04,004 --> 00:13:06,014 everything looked completely different. 250 00:13:06,012 --> 00:13:07,022 Would you like some coffee? 251 00:13:07,021 --> 00:13:08,021 Mmm-hmm. 252 00:13:09,001 --> 00:13:10,021 What kind? 253 00:13:10,021 --> 00:13:13,011 Um... Regular. 254 00:13:13,012 --> 00:13:16,012 Regular coffee is for regular people. 255 00:13:16,014 --> 00:13:19,014 You are not regular. 256 00:13:21,003 --> 00:13:23,023 Oh, I hope I'm-- I am not in the way. 257 00:13:23,021 --> 00:13:25,001 What, why? 258 00:13:27,005 --> 00:13:29,015 Oh, no, no. It's Violette, Padma, 259 00:13:29,022 --> 00:13:32,002 Lee. Hey, everybody... 260 00:13:32,023 --> 00:13:34,003 This is Carrie. 261 00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:39,010 That's my staff. Without them, I'd be sitting 262 00:13:39,007 --> 00:13:40,997 "I'll do art for food." 263 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,011 Speaking of food... 264 00:13:44,016 --> 00:13:47,016 Pancakes for the lady. 265 00:13:47,022 --> 00:13:49,022 I hope you're hungry. 266 00:13:50,013 --> 00:13:51,023 Aren't you gonna eat? 267 00:13:51,023 --> 00:13:52,023 No, I'm done. 268 00:13:53,001 --> 00:13:55,011 I'm off to Amsterdam, remember? 269 00:13:55,015 --> 00:13:58,015 Oh, yeah, right. 270 00:13:58,017 --> 00:14:02,017 Maybe before I leave, I'll have one more little bite. 271 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:20,022 There I was, having pancakes at IHOP. 272 00:14:20,017 --> 00:14:24,017 The International House Of Petrovsky. 273 00:14:24,018 --> 00:14:26,018 And they just went on about their business, 274 00:14:26,023 --> 00:14:28,013 totally unfazed. 275 00:14:28,014 --> 00:14:30,004 Oh, honey, they've seen it all. 276 00:14:30,006 --> 00:14:31,016 You gotta give it to him. 277 00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:33,020 Making pancakes for pussy. 278 00:14:33,021 --> 00:14:35,001 That's a classy touch. 279 00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:37,005 What? 280 00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:39,019 You don't think you're the first babe he battered-up for? 281 00:14:39,017 --> 00:14:41,017 No, no, no, you're right. 282 00:14:42,001 --> 00:14:45,021 You're right, the whole thing was so choreographed. No. 283 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,010 No, he knew exactly what he was doing. 284 00:14:47,013 --> 00:14:50,013 Well, it sounds good to me, I miss a man with the moves. 285 00:14:50,016 --> 00:14:52,006 So, Smith, no moves? 286 00:14:52,010 --> 00:14:53,010 No, he has them. 287 00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:54,010 Most of them I've given to him. 288 00:14:54,014 --> 00:14:55,024 But he has them. 289 00:14:55,021 --> 00:14:57,011 Truth time? 290 00:14:57,012 --> 00:14:58,012 I'm a little jealous. 291 00:14:58,013 --> 00:15:00,013 Of what? My "grand slam" breakfast? 292 00:15:00,015 --> 00:15:03,005 You got yourself a man, a real power player. 293 00:15:03,008 --> 00:15:05,998 Someone who takes charge, drags you to the bed, 294 00:15:06,002 --> 00:15:08,012 has his way with you, doesn't have to ask what you want, 295 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,008 and fucks you and fucks you. 296 00:15:09,012 --> 00:15:12,002 We're not talking about me anymore, are we? 297 00:15:12,004 --> 00:15:13,024 No. I mean, 298 00:15:13,019 --> 00:15:16,019 Smith, he's hot, but he's a baby. 299 00:15:16,020 --> 00:15:17,020 He's almost 30. 300 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,001 Still, I swear, 301 00:15:19,006 --> 00:15:21,016 sometimes I don't know whether to blow him or burp him. 302 00:15:21,017 --> 00:15:23,017 I need a grown-up. 303 00:15:23,018 --> 00:15:26,998 -So, uh, how were they? -The pancakes? 304 00:15:27,002 --> 00:15:29,012 Delicious, exactly what I wanted... I couldn't get enough. 305 00:15:29,008 --> 00:15:30,018 No, I was referring to the moves. 306 00:15:30,023 --> 00:15:32,023 Oh, delicious, exactly what I wanted... 307 00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:34,011 I couldn't get enough. 308 00:15:34,009 --> 00:15:36,019 Good for you. 309 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:40,022 So, how many pancakes do you think that kitchen has seen? 310 00:15:40,017 --> 00:15:41,017 Does it matter? 311 00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:44,010 In the cold, harsh reality of daylight, 312 00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:45,020 I knew it didn't matter... 313 00:15:47,006 --> 00:15:49,016 But in the colder, harsher reality of a woman 314 00:15:49,022 --> 00:15:51,022 who just slept with someone she likes, 315 00:15:52,001 --> 00:15:54,011 it did. 316 00:15:54,008 --> 00:15:56,018 Google.com showed many, many listings 317 00:15:56,022 --> 00:16:00,012 on the art of Aleksandr Petrovsky... 318 00:16:00,011 --> 00:16:03,021 And one on his many, many women. 319 00:16:09,013 --> 00:16:11,003 Oh, my God. 320 00:16:14,003 --> 00:16:16,013 According to certain scientists, 321 00:16:16,013 --> 00:16:18,003 whenever a woman has sex 322 00:16:18,006 --> 00:16:19,016 her body produces a chemical 323 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:22,020 which causes her to emotionally attach. 324 00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:25,002 This chemical may also account 325 00:16:25,003 --> 00:16:27,003 for the series of terrifying questions 326 00:16:27,003 --> 00:16:29,013 that involuntarily pop into our minds 327 00:16:29,014 --> 00:16:32,014 after just one casual tryst. 328 00:16:32,014 --> 00:16:35,014 Questions like... "Does he like me?" 329 00:16:35,013 --> 00:16:36,023 "Will he call again?" 330 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,010 And the classic... "Where is this all going?" 331 00:16:41,004 --> 00:16:42,024 When it comes to men... 332 00:16:42,022 --> 00:16:45,012 Even when we try to keep it light... 333 00:16:45,016 --> 00:16:48,006 How do we wind up in the dark? 334 00:16:51,022 --> 00:16:54,022 Hey! I got this invite to a party... 335 00:16:54,023 --> 00:16:56,023 ... Teen Posse is throwing. 336 00:16:57,021 --> 00:17:00,011 Top 30 under 30. I'm one of them. 337 00:17:00,012 --> 00:17:02,012 Ah. 338 00:17:02,008 --> 00:17:03,008 You wanna go? 339 00:17:03,007 --> 00:17:04,017 Teen Posse and me? 340 00:17:04,021 --> 00:17:06,011 No and no. 341 00:17:06,016 --> 00:17:08,996 Well, my agent and my manager really want me to go. 342 00:17:09,003 --> 00:17:11,013 Will you at least look at the invite and tell me how lame it is? 343 00:17:11,015 --> 00:17:13,015 The party may have been all wrong, 344 00:17:13,017 --> 00:17:16,007 but it was being hosted by Richard Wright. 345 00:17:16,011 --> 00:17:18,011 What, lame-ass? 346 00:17:20,002 --> 00:17:22,012 No, not so lame-ass. 347 00:17:22,011 --> 00:17:25,021 Richard Wright is a big name in the hotel business. 348 00:17:25,017 --> 00:17:27,017 He brings a certain... 349 00:17:28,001 --> 00:17:29,001 something. 350 00:17:29,004 --> 00:17:31,014 And it was exactly the certain something 351 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,018 that Samantha was missing. 352 00:17:32,017 --> 00:17:34,007 You should go. 353 00:17:34,015 --> 00:17:36,015 In fact, I'll go with you. 354 00:17:36,021 --> 00:17:37,021 What the hell. 355 00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:39,012 Cool. 356 00:17:44,023 --> 00:17:47,013 And I'm not really allowed to try and get pregnant again 357 00:17:47,015 --> 00:17:48,005 for another two months... 358 00:17:48,016 --> 00:17:49,016 -So you said-- -And I thought, 359 00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:52,010 I have all this time on my hands to volunteer. 360 00:17:52,016 --> 00:17:55,016 Okay, working as a guide for a visually-impaired person 361 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,000 is a serious undertaking. 362 00:17:57,005 --> 00:17:58,995 We suggest all our potential volunteers 363 00:17:59,003 --> 00:18:00,023 go to a public place like a park 364 00:18:00,017 --> 00:18:02,997 or a department store with a friend, 365 00:18:03,002 --> 00:18:05,022 and let him or her lead you around blindfolded. 366 00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:07,010 -Blindfolded? -Yeah, 367 00:18:07,011 --> 00:18:08,021 try not to take the blindfold off 368 00:18:08,018 --> 00:18:10,008 no matter how uncomfortable you feel, 369 00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:12,017 and you'll begin to get a sense of what it's like 370 00:18:12,019 --> 00:18:14,019 not to be able to rely on your sight. 371 00:18:15,022 --> 00:18:17,022 Okay. Bye. 372 00:18:19,021 --> 00:18:21,021 I mean, where can this possibly go? 373 00:18:21,023 --> 00:18:23,013 I thought you didn't want it to go anywhere. 374 00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:25,004 Well, that was before I slept with him. 375 00:18:25,002 --> 00:18:26,012 Now, I'm not so sure. 376 00:18:26,011 --> 00:18:28,011 -Interesting. -No, ridiculous. 377 00:18:28,010 --> 00:18:30,020 And according to my new best friend, Google.com-- 378 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,000 You Googled him? 379 00:18:32,005 --> 00:18:36,015 The man has dated every woman in New York from 1977 until, 380 00:18:36,019 --> 00:18:38,009 well, until last Wednesday. 381 00:18:38,009 --> 00:18:39,019 And who knows how many pancakes 382 00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:41,020 he's making for other ridiculous women around the world? 383 00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:42,019 Aw... 384 00:18:42,017 --> 00:18:43,017 Oh, my God, listen to me. 385 00:18:43,019 --> 00:18:45,999 And I've only slept with him once. 386 00:18:46,003 --> 00:18:47,013 Okay, let's get blind. 387 00:18:47,016 --> 00:18:49,996 So, once I put this over my eyes, 388 00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:52,023 I can't take it off. I need you to guide me. 389 00:18:52,018 --> 00:18:53,018 I'm there. 390 00:18:54,018 --> 00:18:55,018 This is embarrassing. 391 00:18:55,023 --> 00:18:58,013 No, no, no. Thinking you can take a lover is embarrassing. 392 00:18:58,008 --> 00:18:59,998 This is helping people. 393 00:19:03,005 --> 00:19:04,005 How's my hair? 394 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,020 -Oh! 395 00:19:08,006 --> 00:19:10,016 Oh! That's a European code, it's him! 396 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000 Should I answer it? Okay. 397 00:19:14,009 --> 00:19:16,009 -Hello? Carrie, it's Aleks. 398 00:19:16,010 --> 00:19:19,000 Hi! How's Amsterdam? 399 00:19:19,003 --> 00:19:20,013 It's very Dutch-- 400 00:19:20,011 --> 00:19:21,011 What? Oh... 401 00:19:21,014 --> 00:19:22,024 -I can't hear you. 402 00:19:23,001 --> 00:19:24,011 Oh, you know what, I need better reception-- 403 00:19:24,010 --> 00:19:27,000 I'm gonna go right over there. Don't go away. Okay. 404 00:19:28,003 --> 00:19:29,013 Hi! 405 00:19:29,008 --> 00:19:31,008 Oop, I'm sorry! 406 00:19:32,014 --> 00:19:33,024 Oh. 407 00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:34,997 Da-- 408 00:19:35,004 --> 00:19:36,014 Tomorrow night? 409 00:19:36,014 --> 00:19:37,024 At nine, yes? -Yes! 410 00:19:37,022 --> 00:19:39,022 ...connection. 411 00:19:39,019 --> 00:19:40,019 What? 412 00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:42,010 The reception... is bad... 413 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,014 Bad reception, yes. 414 00:19:44,012 --> 00:19:47,002 Tomorrow, are you free? -Yes, I'm free. 415 00:19:47,006 --> 00:19:48,016 Sorry, I can't quite hear you. 416 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,020 I'm free! 417 00:19:49,023 --> 00:19:51,023 All right then. Tomorrow‘bout nine. 418 00:19:51,022 --> 00:19:53,012 Yes, I will be there! 419 00:19:55,013 --> 00:19:58,003 Hello? Huh... 420 00:20:05,018 --> 00:20:07,998 Sweetie? 421 00:20:08,002 --> 00:20:10,022 Would you like to sample Lumiaire? 422 00:20:13,001 --> 00:20:15,011 -Do you need some assistance? -Oh. No, thank you. 423 00:20:15,009 --> 00:20:16,019 I'm trying to help the blind. 424 00:20:16,020 --> 00:20:17,020 I just got separated from my friend, 425 00:20:18,001 --> 00:20:19,011 but I'm sure she'll find me. 426 00:20:19,016 --> 00:20:20,006 Lumiaire? 427 00:20:20,015 --> 00:20:23,995 Ew! No. Bad, bad... 428 00:20:25,020 --> 00:20:28,010 Oh! Sorry... Excuse me. 429 00:20:30,015 --> 00:20:32,005 Ooh. 430 00:20:32,016 --> 00:20:33,996 And there, in the dark, 431 00:20:34,004 --> 00:20:37,014 Charlotte realized she had no idea where she was going 432 00:20:37,012 --> 00:20:40,002 in Barney's... or in life. 433 00:20:40,002 --> 00:20:43,022 But sometimes, even if you're not sure of your direction, 434 00:20:43,017 --> 00:20:46,017 you can find your way to something wonderful. 435 00:20:47,001 --> 00:20:49,001 You know, they had these over there-- 436 00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:52,015 I swear, I looked and looked. 437 00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:55,008 And then I thought, best if she finds me. 438 00:20:55,013 --> 00:20:57,013 I'm meeting him tomorrow. Cute, huh? 439 00:20:58,005 --> 00:20:59,005 Oh, yeah. 440 00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:02,009 Okay. Okay. 441 00:21:04,011 --> 00:21:07,011 Let's just go to the front of the line like I suggested. 442 00:21:07,014 --> 00:21:09,014 I don't like pushing in front of people. 443 00:21:09,007 --> 00:21:11,007 Oh, grow up. 444 00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:15,006 Smith Jerrod... 445 00:21:15,009 --> 00:21:16,009 We're on the list. 446 00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:18,008 Oh, my God, awesome. 447 00:21:19,013 --> 00:21:20,013 Love your hair. 448 00:21:20,011 --> 00:21:23,001 Let me just check you off. 449 00:21:23,002 --> 00:21:24,012 And you are? 450 00:21:24,009 --> 00:21:26,009 Samantha Jones. 451 00:21:27,022 --> 00:21:30,002 Aren't you a sight for sore eyes. 452 00:21:32,005 --> 00:21:34,015 You gonna let them in first, man? What's up with that? 453 00:21:34,020 --> 00:21:37,010 Dude? 454 00:21:37,008 --> 00:21:38,018 He's with me. 455 00:21:41,023 --> 00:21:43,023 I'm sorry, Richard Wright. 456 00:21:43,021 --> 00:21:44,021 Smith Jerrod. 457 00:21:45,001 --> 00:21:48,011 Let's get some drinks, shall we? 458 00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:50,997 -Eddie, take a picture. -All right, here we go. Smile! 459 00:21:52,017 --> 00:21:54,017 So, how long you been babysitting? 460 00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:57,022 Said the man hosting the Teen Posse party. 461 00:21:57,020 --> 00:21:59,020 Don't rub it in. Hotels have to stay hip, 462 00:21:59,021 --> 00:22:01,021 so I have to bend over backwards 463 00:22:01,019 --> 00:22:03,999 and tongue the taints of these trendy little pissants. 464 00:22:04,002 --> 00:22:06,012 Well, you look good. 465 00:22:06,009 --> 00:22:08,019 That's because I'm looking at you, gorgeous. 466 00:22:10,005 --> 00:22:12,005 Two more scotch rocks. 467 00:22:13,018 --> 00:22:14,008 What's up? 468 00:22:14,015 --> 00:22:16,005 Can I get you a scotch? 469 00:22:16,007 --> 00:22:18,007 No thanks, man, I'm in AA. 470 00:22:18,012 --> 00:22:19,022 You kids today. 471 00:22:19,019 --> 00:22:22,009 So, how do you two know each other? 472 00:22:23,007 --> 00:22:24,017 We used to go out. 473 00:22:24,020 --> 00:22:26,020 And then I fucked it up royally 474 00:22:26,017 --> 00:22:28,007 and lost the best thing I ever had. 475 00:22:28,009 --> 00:22:29,019 Oh my God, Smith... 476 00:22:29,018 --> 00:22:32,018 You have to come, Paulie is snotting pretzels out his nose. 477 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,010 You have to come, it's fucking hilarious. 478 00:22:35,008 --> 00:22:36,018 Come on, come on! Paulie, do it again! 479 00:22:36,019 --> 00:22:37,999 -I'll be back... -Paulie. Do it again! 480 00:22:38,004 --> 00:22:41,014 Paulie! -Paulie is snotting pretzels out his nose. 481 00:22:41,015 --> 00:22:43,015 Fuck you. 482 00:22:47,011 --> 00:22:50,011 Okay. This is the last load. 483 00:22:50,012 --> 00:22:53,002 For a guy with no stuff, you got stuff. 484 00:22:53,002 --> 00:22:55,012 Let's get the TV first. 485 00:22:56,015 --> 00:22:58,995 What the fuck? 486 00:22:59,005 --> 00:23:01,005 That wasn't like that when we moved it in here. 487 00:23:01,008 --> 00:23:02,998 Oh, my God. 488 00:23:03,004 --> 00:23:05,014 -Robert! -What? 489 00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:07,009 No, you think? 490 00:23:07,007 --> 00:23:07,997 Um, hello! 491 00:23:08,002 --> 00:23:10,012 He's mad, your name is on the boxes, 492 00:23:10,010 --> 00:23:12,010 -he lives in the building. -Nah, 493 00:23:12,007 --> 00:23:13,017 that doesn't seem like him. 494 00:23:13,022 --> 00:23:15,012 I must've bumped it or something. 495 00:23:15,013 --> 00:23:18,023 Steve, he's crazy in love with me. 496 00:23:18,021 --> 00:23:21,011 You didn't see how angry he was on the stairs. 497 00:23:21,007 --> 00:23:22,017 Okay, this is bullshit. 498 00:23:22,023 --> 00:23:24,013 I'm not gonna live like this. 499 00:23:24,009 --> 00:23:25,019 What are you gonna do? 500 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,010 I'm gonna take care of things. 501 00:23:27,015 --> 00:23:30,995 Be kind. He's still in love with me. 502 00:23:42,002 --> 00:23:43,012 Steve? 503 00:23:43,007 --> 00:23:45,997 Look, I need to talk to you about this whole Miranda thing. 504 00:23:47,011 --> 00:23:48,021 What about it? 505 00:23:51,013 --> 00:23:53,023 I'll be right back, baby. 506 00:23:57,002 --> 00:23:58,022 Turns out, Petrovsky wasn't the only one 507 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,020 with an international house. 508 00:24:00,020 --> 00:24:01,020 Uh... 509 00:24:04,013 --> 00:24:05,023 We're sorry. 510 00:24:06,001 --> 00:24:08,001 She's sorry, I'm sorry. 511 00:24:08,005 --> 00:24:09,015 We're sorry. 512 00:24:10,019 --> 00:24:12,009 I appreciate that. 513 00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:24,013 What happened? 514 00:24:24,011 --> 00:24:27,011 Let's just put it this way. 515 00:24:27,012 --> 00:24:29,002 He won't be bothering us again. 516 00:24:29,004 --> 00:24:31,004 Was he very upset? 517 00:24:36,005 --> 00:24:38,005 Oh. 518 00:24:38,015 --> 00:24:40,005 When it came to Robert, 519 00:24:40,009 --> 00:24:44,019 Steve thought it was kinder to leave Miranda in the dark. 520 00:25:14,002 --> 00:25:15,012 Samantha? 521 00:25:18,012 --> 00:25:20,022 Hey, where you going, babe? 522 00:25:20,017 --> 00:25:23,017 Richard wanted to show me one of his remodeled suites. 523 00:25:24,011 --> 00:25:26,001 Cool, can I come? 524 00:25:27,014 --> 00:25:29,004 No. 525 00:25:29,002 --> 00:25:31,012 No, Smith, you can't come. 526 00:25:31,014 --> 00:25:33,004 Look, this was fun. 527 00:25:33,003 --> 00:25:35,003 But where is it going? 528 00:25:35,005 --> 00:25:36,005 Gorgeous? 529 00:25:40,008 --> 00:25:44,008 You go play with your friends and I'll go play with mine. 530 00:25:50,013 --> 00:25:51,023 Samantha. 531 00:25:57,019 --> 00:26:01,009 Two years ago, I was on top of the fucking world. 532 00:26:01,007 --> 00:26:02,017 Now I'm hosting a bullshit beer bash 533 00:26:03,001 --> 00:26:05,011 for a bunch of pinheads with six-pack abs. 534 00:26:05,007 --> 00:26:08,007 This is a world class hotel! 535 00:26:08,010 --> 00:26:09,020 Fuck it! 536 00:26:09,020 --> 00:26:11,020 I've been down this low before. 537 00:26:12,001 --> 00:26:13,001 Oh! 538 00:26:13,004 --> 00:26:16,014 Richard may have, but Samantha hadn't. 539 00:26:34,018 --> 00:26:37,018 I just wanted to make sure you got home safe. 540 00:26:40,014 --> 00:26:42,024 I don't know what's wrong with me. 541 00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:46,008 I hate myself for doing this to you... 542 00:26:47,015 --> 00:26:49,005 Oh, God. 543 00:26:49,009 --> 00:26:50,999 It's okay. 544 00:26:52,004 --> 00:26:55,014 -It's okay. 545 00:26:59,007 --> 00:27:00,007 Come on. 546 00:27:00,016 --> 00:27:02,016 Let's get you out of here. 547 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,010 Even in the dark, Smith could still see Samantha. 548 00:27:06,013 --> 00:27:09,003 And for the very first time, 549 00:27:09,005 --> 00:27:10,995 she saw him. 550 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,000 -Hey... -Hm. 551 00:27:14,004 --> 00:27:17,004 I have some work to do in my studio. 552 00:27:17,003 --> 00:27:19,003 You are welcome to stay, okay? 553 00:27:24,002 --> 00:27:26,022 It was at that moment I realized, 554 00:27:26,017 --> 00:27:30,007 I wasn't really comfortable in Loverville. 555 00:27:32,014 --> 00:27:35,014 I'm not that kind of "Google." 556 00:28:23,017 --> 00:28:24,017 Oh, hi. 557 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,000 I just wanted to say thank you, I'm gonna go. 558 00:28:27,002 --> 00:28:30,012 Okay, then, I'll call you tomorrow, alright? 559 00:28:32,001 --> 00:28:33,021 Um... 560 00:28:34,020 --> 00:28:37,010 This has been really lovely, 561 00:28:37,008 --> 00:28:40,998 but I don't think I'm cut out for it. 562 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,020 I don't understand. 563 00:28:46,016 --> 00:28:50,016 The pancakes, and the other ladies... 564 00:28:51,001 --> 00:28:54,021 It's just not for me. 565 00:28:54,023 --> 00:28:59,023 There are pancakes, but no other ladies. 566 00:28:59,017 --> 00:29:05,017 Well, I have a book with a few emergency telephone numbers... 567 00:29:05,022 --> 00:29:10,002 Yes, but now I just see you. 568 00:29:12,005 --> 00:29:14,015 This is not about a quick bang. 569 00:29:17,009 --> 00:29:19,009 This, um... 570 00:29:22,018 --> 00:29:24,008 I just like you. 571 00:29:27,010 --> 00:29:36,000 Why me? 572 00:29:39,004 --> 00:29:40,024 You make a good breakfast? 573 00:29:44,003 --> 00:29:45,013 So, what's all this? 574 00:29:45,009 --> 00:29:46,009 Oh. 575 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,000 It's too soon to tell.