1
00:00:47,002 --> 00:00:48,022
Taxi!
2
00:00:50,002 --> 00:00:53,012
In autumn, New Yorkers
treat every nice day
3
00:00:53,013 --> 00:00:55,013
as if it could be their last.
4
00:00:57,017 --> 00:01:00,007
I'd have another if you would.
What do you say?
5
00:01:00,009 --> 00:01:01,019
-You're a bad influence.
6
00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:03,007
I waited and waited!
7
00:01:03,009 --> 00:01:04,999
You said to meet you
at the subway.
8
00:01:05,002 --> 00:01:06,012
I was at the subway!
9
00:01:06,010 --> 00:01:07,020
I was at the foot of the stairs!
10
00:01:07,020 --> 00:01:09,010
You was at the subway?
11
00:01:09,016 --> 00:01:10,016
You was in the subway!
12
00:01:10,020 --> 00:01:12,020
Oh, you don't know how
to give directions, I waited...
13
00:01:12,023 --> 00:01:14,013
That's gonna be us in 30 years.
14
00:01:14,012 --> 00:01:15,022
Please don't say that.
15
00:01:15,023 --> 00:01:17,023
I'm kidding,
that could never be us.
16
00:01:17,023 --> 00:01:19,013
That already was us, remember?
17
00:01:19,016 --> 00:01:21,006
Yeah, but that was then.
18
00:01:21,009 --> 00:01:24,019
Okay, so for the future,
I don't want to become that.
19
00:01:25,021 --> 00:01:28,001
Okay, I don't want you
to worry about becoming that.
20
00:01:28,006 --> 00:01:30,006
Okay, I won't.
21
00:01:30,008 --> 00:01:32,008
-All right.
-Anything else we don't want?
22
00:01:32,015 --> 00:01:33,005
Yeah.
23
00:01:33,016 --> 00:01:35,016
I don't want you
paying for these beers.
24
00:01:35,018 --> 00:01:38,018
-I'm serious. Your turn.
25
00:01:38,019 --> 00:01:41,999
Okay. I don't want to become
your mother.
26
00:01:42,006 --> 00:01:43,016
-That's a good one.
27
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,020
I don't want to slack off
like I used to.
28
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,020
I don't want to be so moody.
This is fun.
29
00:01:48,023 --> 00:01:51,013
I don't want to lose you again.
30
00:01:51,009 --> 00:01:54,009
Even if I screw up
all the other stuff,
31
00:01:54,009 --> 00:01:56,009
that's the one that matters.
32
00:01:56,012 --> 00:01:59,002
I don't want to lose you either.
33
00:02:01,016 --> 00:02:02,016
Will you marry me?
34
00:02:07,009 --> 00:02:08,019
Are you serious?
35
00:02:10,015 --> 00:02:12,995
Yes. Will you?
36
00:02:14,005 --> 00:02:15,015
Hell yeah!
37
00:02:15,023 --> 00:02:18,003
Some couples have
to say their "I don'ts"
38
00:02:18,003 --> 00:02:21,013
before they can ever imagine
saying their "I dos."
39
00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:31,002
80 blocks and a world away,
40
00:02:31,004 --> 00:02:34,004
I was enjoying a different kind
of happy hour.
41
00:02:34,004 --> 00:02:36,014
At Aleksandr Petrovsky's.
42
00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:38,010
That's pretty. What is that?
43
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,010
Oh, the berries.
44
00:02:52,022 --> 00:02:55,022
This little tune
I made up for you.
45
00:02:55,021 --> 00:02:58,021
What?
No, you didn't.
46
00:02:58,021 --> 00:03:00,011
Yes, I did.
47
00:03:00,008 --> 00:03:02,998
"La Femme Avec
Les Yeux Lumineux."
48
00:03:03,003 --> 00:03:06,003
Which means
"Woman with luminous,
49
00:03:06,004 --> 00:03:09,004
uh, shining, sparkling eyes."
50
00:03:11,001 --> 00:03:12,001
Hm.
51
00:03:21,003 --> 00:03:25,003
That is the cheesiest thing
I have ever heard in my life.
52
00:03:25,006 --> 00:03:26,006
Ick!
53
00:03:26,007 --> 00:03:29,007
I know, I can't even
look at you all right now,
54
00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:30,008
I'm so embarrassed.
55
00:03:30,015 --> 00:03:32,015
Well, it all sounds
very old-world to me.
56
00:03:32,020 --> 00:03:34,020
-Very 18th century Russia.
Yes,
57
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,010
and I live in
New York City, circa now.
58
00:03:37,014 --> 00:03:40,014
I think it's romantic if someone
offers me a seat on the subway.
59
00:03:40,014 --> 00:03:42,004
That is romantic.
60
00:03:42,003 --> 00:03:44,023
We are just starved
for real romance,
61
00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:46,011
and that is the sad truth.
62
00:03:46,013 --> 00:03:47,013
I'm not starved.
63
00:03:47,015 --> 00:03:48,015
Smith is in L.A. for the week,
64
00:03:49,001 --> 00:03:51,011
and he calls me every night
before he goes to sleep.
65
00:03:51,014 --> 00:03:52,024
Phone sex doesn't count.
66
00:03:52,017 --> 00:03:54,017
Well, I'm drinking a glass
of wine while we do it.
67
00:03:54,020 --> 00:03:56,000
I want to hear more
about the romance.
68
00:03:56,005 --> 00:03:58,005
What else?
What else did he do?
69
00:03:58,008 --> 00:04:00,998
Well, there was one more thing,
70
00:04:01,003 --> 00:04:05,003
but if I tell you, it'll be
the ick heard 'round the world.
71
00:04:05,004 --> 00:04:06,024
It will not.
72
00:04:06,020 --> 00:04:09,000
You know the song
that he wrote for me?
73
00:04:09,004 --> 00:04:11,024
-Yeah... Ick.
-Well...
74
00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:13,017
It had a name.
75
00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:18,019
"La Femme Avec
Les Yeux Lumineux."
76
00:04:18,019 --> 00:04:21,009
"The Woman With Eyes That..."
77
00:04:21,014 --> 00:04:23,014
"Sparkle."
78
00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:24,020
What's French for ick?
79
00:04:24,020 --> 00:04:25,020
Eek.
80
00:04:25,019 --> 00:04:26,999
And I swear to you,
while he was playing it,
81
00:04:27,002 --> 00:04:31,002
I floated up out of my body
and I was on the ceiling
82
00:04:31,002 --> 00:04:35,012
looking down at myself
thinking... Come on!
83
00:04:35,012 --> 00:04:38,012
He's just expressing
genuine emotion in
an old-fashioned way.
84
00:04:38,014 --> 00:04:40,014
But it's not genuine,
it's pure show.
85
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:43,003
I can't stand all that
artificial hoo-hah.
86
00:04:43,006 --> 00:04:46,996
That's why I proposed to Steve
over three-dollar beers.
87
00:04:50,011 --> 00:04:52,001
You proposed?
88
00:04:52,003 --> 00:04:54,013
You proposed... marriage?
89
00:04:54,008 --> 00:04:55,998
Okay, everybody, stop.
90
00:04:56,002 --> 00:04:58,022
It's not a big deal,
I am not "engaged,"
91
00:04:58,020 --> 00:05:00,020
I'm not doing
the big circus wedding.
92
00:05:00,021 --> 00:05:04,011
There will be no white dress or
bridesmaids, or posed pictures.
93
00:05:04,007 --> 00:05:06,007
I hate all that shit.
94
00:05:06,012 --> 00:05:07,022
Well, that's your choice.
95
00:05:07,023 --> 00:05:10,023
Every bride has
to find her own style.
96
00:05:10,023 --> 00:05:12,023
Well, when is it gonna be?
97
00:05:12,018 --> 00:05:14,018
As soon as I can find some place
that doesn't make me hurl.
98
00:05:15,001 --> 00:05:17,021
It's just going to be
a simple, nothing thing.
99
00:05:17,022 --> 00:05:20,002
I don't even care
about the wedding,
100
00:05:20,005 --> 00:05:21,995
I just want to be with Steve.
101
00:05:22,006 --> 00:05:23,006
Oh, Miranda...
102
00:05:23,008 --> 00:05:25,998
Okay, this is exactly
what I don't want.
103
00:05:26,004 --> 00:05:27,004
No tears.
104
00:05:27,002 --> 00:05:28,022
Oh my God...
105
00:05:28,018 --> 00:05:29,998
I can't believe it...
106
00:05:30,003 --> 00:05:32,023
That's it, you're
all freaking me out.
107
00:05:34,003 --> 00:05:36,023
Samantha, I expected
more from you.
108
00:05:40,013 --> 00:05:43,013
He just felt inspired
to write her a song
109
00:05:43,016 --> 00:05:44,016
and then he played it for her.
110
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,010
Isn't that the most romantic
thing you've ever heard?
111
00:05:47,009 --> 00:05:49,009
Yeah, not bad.
112
00:05:49,012 --> 00:05:51,012
I used to play clarinet
when I was little.
113
00:05:51,011 --> 00:05:54,021
This is so good,
you have to have some.
114
00:05:54,018 --> 00:05:57,008
Doesn't that taste like
real butter pecan?
115
00:05:57,016 --> 00:05:59,006
Okay, if that's
what we're playing.
116
00:05:59,007 --> 00:06:02,017
Sure, I can pretend this whipped
flavored air is the real thing.
117
00:06:02,022 --> 00:06:04,012
-Yum!
118
00:06:04,007 --> 00:06:05,997
I mean, it's like something
out of a Victorian novel.
119
00:06:06,004 --> 00:06:08,024
people just don't do
those things anymore.
120
00:06:08,017 --> 00:06:10,017
Hey, I can be romantic,
too, you know.
121
00:06:10,022 --> 00:06:13,012
Oh, honey, I know you can.
122
00:06:13,008 --> 00:06:14,998
I think it's romantic
that you walk me to
123
00:06:15,002 --> 00:06:16,012
Tasti-D-Lite every night.
124
00:06:16,013 --> 00:06:17,023
Don't humor me,
125
00:06:17,021 --> 00:06:19,011
I know how to do romance right.
126
00:06:19,016 --> 00:06:21,016
It's not just for
foo-foo foreigners.
127
00:06:21,017 --> 00:06:22,017
-In fact...
-Mm.
128
00:06:22,020 --> 00:06:24,000
In fact, I'm gonna take you out
129
00:06:24,005 --> 00:06:27,005
for a real romantic
night on the town. Mm-hm.
130
00:06:27,007 --> 00:06:29,007
Wining and dining, baby.
131
00:06:29,008 --> 00:06:30,018
-Really?
-You bet.
132
00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:33,011
Let me get another
lick of that...
133
00:06:33,008 --> 00:06:34,018
-Mmm.
-Uh-huh.
134
00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:36,018
I don't want
to make a big entrance.
135
00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:38,020
I don't want everyone
staring at me.
136
00:06:38,021 --> 00:06:40,021
And from licking to lugging...
137
00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:43,000
I just want it to feel like us.
Like,
138
00:06:43,004 --> 00:06:45,014
not like one of those millions
of cookie-cutter weddings
139
00:06:45,016 --> 00:06:46,996
I've had to suffer through.
140
00:06:47,005 --> 00:06:48,005
How do we do that?
141
00:06:48,010 --> 00:06:49,020
What about one of
those boat rides
142
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,010
that goes all
around the island?
143
00:06:51,012 --> 00:06:52,012
-That's different.
144
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,012
We're not boat people.
145
00:06:53,016 --> 00:06:55,006
When have we ever been
on a boat together, ever?
146
00:06:55,016 --> 00:06:58,006
Okay, you got a better idea?
147
00:06:58,016 --> 00:07:00,016
Oh, shit!
148
00:07:00,018 --> 00:07:02,008
Oh, shit. Agh!
149
00:07:02,014 --> 00:07:05,024
This is so us, we are pathetic.
150
00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:07,020
This gum is like superglue.
151
00:07:07,023 --> 00:07:08,023
Look at this.
152
00:07:08,022 --> 00:07:12,012
You see, we're bag people,
not boat people.
153
00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:14,020
We should get married
right here in this mess.
154
00:07:14,023 --> 00:07:17,003
We're gonna have to if
I can't get this gum off.
155
00:07:20,005 --> 00:07:21,005
Hey...
156
00:07:21,016 --> 00:07:23,016
That's a nice garden.
157
00:07:24,019 --> 00:07:26,019
Yeah, it's pretty.
158
00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:29,010
But not corny.
159
00:07:30,001 --> 00:07:32,011
What do you think?
160
00:07:32,009 --> 00:07:33,999
I don't hate it.
161
00:07:35,023 --> 00:07:38,003
The only thing harder
than choosing a spot
162
00:07:38,005 --> 00:07:39,995
for your wedding
when you hate weddings...
163
00:07:40,004 --> 00:07:41,004
What about a guest book?
164
00:07:41,004 --> 00:07:42,024
...is choosing a wedding gift
165
00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:44,010
for your friend
who hates weddings.
166
00:07:44,008 --> 00:07:45,018
Sweetie, there's gonna be
like eight of us there.
167
00:07:45,023 --> 00:07:47,023
There's no one to keep track of.
168
00:07:47,021 --> 00:07:50,011
I can't believe Miranda
is getting married.
169
00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:51,022
-Mm...
-This is pretty.
170
00:07:51,017 --> 00:07:53,007
Oh, she'll hate that.
Too domestic.
171
00:07:53,011 --> 00:07:54,021
And too bridey.
172
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,020
Yeah, let's try not
to piss her off.
173
00:07:56,019 --> 00:07:58,019
Well, maybe we should
just buy her a stapler,
174
00:07:58,017 --> 00:08:01,007
and wrap it in brown paper and
just smear some dog poo on it.
175
00:08:01,012 --> 00:08:03,012
Do you think she'd be
comfortable with that?
176
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,010
Fine, we'll get the dish.
177
00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:12,021
Ladies, I have
something to tell you,
178
00:08:12,018 --> 00:08:13,998
and you're not going to like it.
179
00:08:14,004 --> 00:08:17,024
If you get married
and leave me all alone
I will kill you.
180
00:08:17,017 --> 00:08:21,007
As you know, I have always loved
my body just the way it is.
181
00:08:21,015 --> 00:08:22,015
My legs are fantastic,
182
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,020
I have killer abs,
my ass is perfection...
183
00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:27,010
Is this the part
we're not gonna like?
184
00:08:27,012 --> 00:08:30,022
But I have decided,
after careful consideration,
185
00:08:30,021 --> 00:08:33,021
that I might be ready
for bigger boobs.
186
00:08:34,016 --> 00:08:35,996
Since when?
187
00:08:36,002 --> 00:08:39,012
Since I had a cold,
hard dose of reality...
188
00:08:40,003 --> 00:08:41,003
from this.
189
00:08:41,004 --> 00:08:44,014
-Look.
-You're in In Touch magazine?
190
00:08:44,007 --> 00:08:45,997
And that's your
source of reality?
191
00:08:46,004 --> 00:08:49,024
Yes, they named Smith Jerrod
the number one hot guy to watch,
192
00:08:50,001 --> 00:08:52,001
they followed him
all over town for a week.
193
00:08:52,003 --> 00:08:54,003
I'm in half the pictures. See,
194
00:08:54,003 --> 00:08:56,003
there are my boobs on Wednesday.
195
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,013
See how small they are?
196
00:08:57,016 --> 00:09:01,006
There they are again
on Thursday, teeny-tiny...
197
00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:02,017
And there they are having lunch,
198
00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:05,999
you can barely see them,
I should've brought my loop.
199
00:09:06,002 --> 00:09:07,012
I can't believe you
would actually consider
200
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,024
having a boob job.
201
00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:11,010
I can't believe you went
to Planet Hollywood.
202
00:09:11,012 --> 00:09:14,002
You are a confident,
intelligent woman.
203
00:09:14,003 --> 00:09:15,023
Why would you want
to look like a bimbo?
204
00:09:15,017 --> 00:09:18,017
I wouldn't be getting
the watermelon freak-show kind.
205
00:09:18,017 --> 00:09:21,007
I'd get something tasteful,
something like...
206
00:09:22,008 --> 00:09:24,008
yours.
207
00:09:24,007 --> 00:09:25,017
Yours are good.
208
00:09:26,001 --> 00:09:27,011
-Mine?
-Mm.
209
00:09:27,008 --> 00:09:28,008
Thanks.
210
00:09:28,008 --> 00:09:29,018
What's wrong with mine?
211
00:09:29,018 --> 00:09:31,018
Well, they're not bad, either.
Let's see...
212
00:09:31,023 --> 00:09:34,003
Okay, alright...
Get hers!
213
00:09:34,003 --> 00:09:36,003
No.
214
00:09:37,012 --> 00:09:40,002
A few days later,
the rain came...
215
00:09:40,004 --> 00:09:42,004
Listen, you'll like this poem.
216
00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:43,020
Poem?
217
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,020
And so did the poetry.
218
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,018
"So long had life
together been that
219
00:09:47,022 --> 00:09:50,012
once the snow began to fall,
220
00:09:50,014 --> 00:09:53,024
it seemed unending
that least the flakes
221
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,020
should make her eyelids wince.
222
00:09:56,018 --> 00:09:58,018
I'd shield them with my hand,
223
00:09:58,022 --> 00:10:02,002
and they, pretending not to
believe the cherishing of eyes,
224
00:10:02,006 --> 00:10:06,006
would beat against
my palm like butterflies..."
225
00:10:09,002 --> 00:10:13,002
Ee-yow.
That is some serious stuff.
226
00:10:13,005 --> 00:10:15,015
-Had enough, huh?
-No.
227
00:10:15,017 --> 00:10:17,007
No, it's beautiful...
228
00:10:17,011 --> 00:10:18,011
Um...
229
00:10:18,016 --> 00:10:22,006
How about I read you a little
bit of my favorite poetry?
230
00:10:22,007 --> 00:10:23,997
Please.
231
00:10:25,022 --> 00:10:29,022
"Cocktails at Tiffany's
calls for classic charm.
232
00:10:29,023 --> 00:10:33,023
Oscar De La Renta
sleeveless silk faille,
233
00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:38,023
full-skirted dress, with
black patent leather bow belt."
234
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:44,006
Now that is pure poetry.
235
00:10:44,014 --> 00:10:46,004
Oscar is a good friend of mine.
236
00:10:46,003 --> 00:10:47,023
I'll tell him
you like the dress.
237
00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:50,010
Oscar?
238
00:10:50,012 --> 00:10:52,012
You call him Oscar?
239
00:10:52,011 --> 00:10:53,021
It's his name, isn't it?
240
00:10:55,014 --> 00:10:58,014
So, you feel uncomfortable
with the poetry.
241
00:10:58,014 --> 00:10:59,014
Why is that?
242
00:11:01,022 --> 00:11:04,002
Look, I'm sorry,
243
00:11:04,005 --> 00:11:07,015
perhaps we were not
properly introduced.
244
00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:10,010
I write a column
based on the assumption
245
00:11:10,010 --> 00:11:13,020
that romance is either
dead or just...
246
00:11:13,018 --> 00:11:14,018
phony.
247
00:11:14,017 --> 00:11:15,017
You think I'm phony?
248
00:11:15,020 --> 00:11:18,000
No, no, no, not at all.
249
00:11:18,004 --> 00:11:21,004
No, I'm the one that
feels like a phony.
250
00:11:21,002 --> 00:11:26,022
Frankly, I'm just not used
to these grand gestures.
251
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:28,000
You mean no other man...
252
00:11:28,004 --> 00:11:33,014
No one ever read you
a little poem, or--
253
00:11:33,011 --> 00:11:35,001
Played a little music for you?
254
00:11:35,022 --> 00:11:38,002
Um...
255
00:11:38,002 --> 00:11:40,002
No.
256
00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:42,013
No, they have not.
257
00:11:42,008 --> 00:11:44,008
Wow.
258
00:11:45,022 --> 00:11:48,002
Oh, okay.
259
00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:56,023
I'm in over my head,
where are you?
260
00:11:56,021 --> 00:11:59,011
Shopping for a wedding dress
on my lunch hour.
261
00:11:59,012 --> 00:12:01,022
I said no white, no ivory,
262
00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:03,021
No nothing that says virgin.
263
00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:06,011
I have a child, the jig is up.
264
00:12:06,014 --> 00:12:07,024
Okay, so...
265
00:12:07,021 --> 00:12:11,021
yesterday, the Russian read me
a Russian poem,
266
00:12:12,001 --> 00:12:13,001
but, you know, in English.
267
00:12:13,006 --> 00:12:15,996
Are you just making
this stuff up now?
268
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:18,013
No.
And this might sound crazy,
269
00:12:18,008 --> 00:12:20,008
but I don't think it's an act.
270
00:12:20,011 --> 00:12:24,011
I think he actually means it.
271
00:12:24,008 --> 00:12:25,998
That doesn't make it okay.
272
00:12:26,004 --> 00:12:28,004
Has he considered your feelings?
273
00:12:28,006 --> 00:12:30,006
You're right,
he's a selfish pig.
274
00:12:30,012 --> 00:12:31,022
I'm serious.
275
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,010
I think you should tell him
that this whole romance thing
276
00:12:35,010 --> 00:12:36,020
gives you the icks,
turns your stomach,
277
00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:39,020
and that he's dating you,
not Anna Karenina.
278
00:12:39,022 --> 00:12:41,002
Okay, I'll tell him that.
279
00:12:41,006 --> 00:12:42,016
I can't tell him that.
280
00:12:43,001 --> 00:12:47,021
And let me ask you something,
if you're so anti-romance,
281
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,017
why are you having
a wedding at all?
282
00:12:48,023 --> 00:12:52,023
Why not just go down to
city hall and get it over with?
283
00:12:52,017 --> 00:12:55,007
You know, I thought about that,
but then I realized,
284
00:12:55,013 --> 00:12:58,023
I actually do want
to say those vows out loud,
285
00:12:58,018 --> 00:13:01,998
to Steve, in front of
the people I care about.
286
00:13:02,003 --> 00:13:03,023
Are you gagging over there?
287
00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:07,020
No, the opposite.
My God, Miranda.
288
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,010
You were my cynical touchstone.
289
00:13:10,010 --> 00:13:11,020
Do you promise
to still be cynical,
290
00:13:11,019 --> 00:13:13,009
even after you're married?
291
00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:14,019
I do.
292
00:13:14,023 --> 00:13:18,023
I have got to go, there's a big
pile of tutus coming at me.
293
00:13:18,023 --> 00:13:23,003
Okay, we need
to have another talk.
294
00:13:26,015 --> 00:13:29,005
One of the great things
about living in New York City
295
00:13:29,010 --> 00:13:32,010
is that you don't have to
sugarcoat your feelings.
296
00:13:32,014 --> 00:13:34,004
But have New York women
297
00:13:34,006 --> 00:13:37,016
settled for a sugar-free
existence as well?
298
00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:41,011
We accept Tasti-D-Lite
instead of real ice cream.
299
00:13:41,007 --> 00:13:45,017
E-mails instead of love songs,
jokes instead of poetry.
300
00:13:45,023 --> 00:13:48,013
It's no wonder that when
faced with the real thing,
301
00:13:48,014 --> 00:13:49,024
we can't stomach it.
302
00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:53,011
Is it something we could
learn to digest, or...
303
00:13:53,013 --> 00:13:57,003
Have we become
romance-intolerant?
304
00:14:02,012 --> 00:14:04,022
Et puis, for
the troisieme course,
305
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,010
we would like the foie gras,
306
00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:08,013
followed by
the boeuf bourguignon,
307
00:14:08,016 --> 00:14:11,006
avec les legumes a la creme...
308
00:14:11,008 --> 00:14:13,008
It was Harry's version
of a serenade,
309
00:14:13,007 --> 00:14:14,017
and Charlotte ate it right up.
310
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,010
Et en fin, the plat du fromage.
311
00:14:17,015 --> 00:14:18,015
The plate or the cart?
312
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,023
We have a lovely cheese cart.
313
00:14:20,017 --> 00:14:22,007
Mais, oui!
Bring us the cart!
314
00:14:22,015 --> 00:14:24,005
Tout suite
for my sweetie.
315
00:14:24,015 --> 00:14:27,015
I had no idea you could
speak French so well, honey.
316
00:14:27,022 --> 00:14:31,012
The French learned
romance from me, bébé.
317
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:37,007
Downtown, in the name
of boob job research,
318
00:14:37,011 --> 00:14:40,011
Samantha decided to go
where the biggest crop
319
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:42,009
would be on display.
320
00:14:42,016 --> 00:14:43,016
Some were little boobs...
321
00:14:43,018 --> 00:14:44,998
-Ooh, that's okay.
-Not so bad.
322
00:14:45,006 --> 00:14:46,006
Not too small.
323
00:14:46,009 --> 00:14:47,019
Some were big boobs...
324
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:50,019
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
325
00:14:53,005 --> 00:14:55,005
Some were ridiculously
big boobs...
326
00:14:55,007 --> 00:14:56,017
Oh, boy.
327
00:14:56,023 --> 00:14:58,023
Okay, that's my wife,
right there.
328
00:14:59,001 --> 00:15:01,021
And then, there were
the two biggest boobs of all,
329
00:15:01,018 --> 00:15:02,018
right beside her.
330
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,000
Wow.
331
00:15:10,022 --> 00:15:12,022
Can I get you something?
332
00:15:12,019 --> 00:15:14,009
You either have
the most naturally
333
00:15:14,016 --> 00:15:16,006
beautiful breasts
I've ever seen,
334
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,015
or I need the name
of your doctor.
335
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,010
You want Dr. Bevel.
336
00:15:20,014 --> 00:15:21,024
He's the best.
337
00:15:21,017 --> 00:15:23,997
They've paid for themselves
in tips alone.
338
00:15:26,017 --> 00:15:27,017
Hmm.
339
00:15:27,018 --> 00:15:29,998
Meanwhile, back
in the 18th century...
340
00:15:30,002 --> 00:15:35,012
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is this a formal sleepover?
341
00:15:40,018 --> 00:15:43,008
Actually, there's an
opening at the Met tonight.
342
00:15:43,007 --> 00:15:45,007
It's La Traviata.
And you're going with me.
343
00:15:45,007 --> 00:15:49,007
Man, I was this close
to throwing on my ball gown,
344
00:15:49,009 --> 00:15:50,019
but I ignored my instincts.
345
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,017
Alright, I'll go home
and change?
346
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,010
No, no, no. It would be
much faster. Come in.
347
00:16:01,022 --> 00:16:04,012
Come on, open it.
348
00:16:15,004 --> 00:16:16,014
Oh...
349
00:16:19,002 --> 00:16:21,022
Tonight,
only your poetry, not mine.
350
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:23,013
From the magazine.
351
00:16:23,010 --> 00:16:24,020
You like it?
352
00:16:24,018 --> 00:16:27,008
If I had been on
a romance-free diet,
353
00:16:27,008 --> 00:16:29,018
this seemed like
a good time to binge.
354
00:16:33,004 --> 00:16:37,014
That was the most
romantic, elegant...
355
00:16:40,009 --> 00:16:43,009
Pardon me, that was weird.
356
00:16:45,009 --> 00:16:48,019
Decadent, seven-course--
357
00:16:52,017 --> 00:16:54,017
I'm sorry, honey.
358
00:16:56,006 --> 00:16:57,016
Oh, boy--
359
00:16:58,014 --> 00:16:59,024
Are you okay?
360
00:17:09,008 --> 00:17:10,018
Honey?
361
00:17:10,023 --> 00:17:12,023
Are you gonna be long in there?
362
00:17:12,017 --> 00:17:14,017
Uh, maybe.
363
00:17:14,019 --> 00:17:17,009
Oh, definitely. Why?
364
00:17:17,009 --> 00:17:19,009
That's okay, I'll go
to the other one.
365
00:17:19,009 --> 00:17:21,999
When you splurge on
a romantic seven-course meal,
366
00:17:22,003 --> 00:17:24,023
you generally want
to remember every bite.
367
00:17:25,001 --> 00:17:28,001
There was the soup course.
The dessert course...
368
00:17:28,002 --> 00:17:31,002
And all those other
yummy courses in between...
369
00:17:31,002 --> 00:17:32,022
That's gotta be it.
370
00:17:33,016 --> 00:17:34,996
I'm done.
371
00:17:35,002 --> 00:17:37,022
Harry and Charlotte had
romance shooting out of them
372
00:17:37,017 --> 00:17:38,017
every 20 minutes...
373
00:17:38,021 --> 00:17:40,011
Oh, I'm not.
374
00:17:40,016 --> 00:17:42,006
...for the rest of the night.
375
00:17:42,011 --> 00:17:44,001
I wouldn't go in there,
if I were you.
376
00:17:44,006 --> 00:17:44,996
It's not pleasant.
377
00:17:45,002 --> 00:17:46,022
I can't make it
to the other one!
378
00:17:46,017 --> 00:17:48,017
It's the fucking fromage.
379
00:17:48,018 --> 00:17:49,018
Oh!
380
00:17:49,023 --> 00:17:53,013
That fucking fromage!
381
00:17:53,015 --> 00:17:59,005
Uh-oh. Oh, oh, look out,
I'm coming in.
382
00:17:59,007 --> 00:18:01,997
Surviving a night
of food poisoning together
383
00:18:02,004 --> 00:18:04,014
wasn't the stuff
of great romance,
384
00:18:04,008 --> 00:18:07,998
but it was the stuff
of lasting love.
385
00:18:08,002 --> 00:18:09,002
I thought it starts at 7:30.
386
00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:10,016
No, it's 8:00. We're fine.
387
00:18:10,018 --> 00:18:14,008
Meanwhile,
a funny thing happened
on the way to the opera.
388
00:18:17,007 --> 00:18:18,997
Wait, wait.
389
00:18:19,006 --> 00:18:20,996
What?
390
00:18:21,002 --> 00:18:24,022
This music, this place.
391
00:18:24,018 --> 00:18:25,998
You.
392
00:18:27,017 --> 00:18:29,017
Isn't it perfect?
393
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:33,001
Would you dance with me?
394
00:18:38,013 --> 00:18:42,023
It was the most
romantic moment...
395
00:18:42,017 --> 00:18:44,017
Whoa, stop, stop.
What?
396
00:18:44,022 --> 00:18:47,012
My God, that lady fell!
-Hey, hey, hey? Are you okay?
397
00:18:47,014 --> 00:18:50,004
Is she alright?
-You okay, hey?
398
00:18:51,008 --> 00:18:52,018
No.
399
00:18:52,019 --> 00:18:54,009
It's too much.
400
00:18:54,011 --> 00:18:57,001
I'm an American.
401
00:18:57,006 --> 00:18:59,016
You gotta take it
down a notch...
402
00:18:59,018 --> 00:19:02,008
Does she need any help?
No, he's got it.
403
00:19:02,014 --> 00:19:09,004
And then a Quarter Pounder
with cheese, um, McNuggets...
404
00:19:09,002 --> 00:19:10,022
Would you like
to super-size that?
405
00:19:12,002 --> 00:19:13,012
Can you handle it?
406
00:19:13,009 --> 00:19:16,009
Absolutely.
407
00:19:19,014 --> 00:19:20,024
I'm sorry about the opera.
408
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,000
Don't be silly.
409
00:19:22,002 --> 00:19:25,002
Another time, another dress.
410
00:19:28,003 --> 00:19:29,023
May I offer you a fry?
411
00:19:30,007 --> 00:19:31,007
Mm...
412
00:19:31,007 --> 00:19:32,017
They're French...
413
00:19:32,017 --> 00:19:34,017
Oh, then...
414
00:19:37,023 --> 00:19:39,003
Hm.
415
00:19:40,011 --> 00:19:41,011
Mm.
416
00:19:45,023 --> 00:19:49,023
Okay, I think I might be
up for a quick spin now.
417
00:19:51,002 --> 00:19:52,022
If you'll still have me.
418
00:19:52,017 --> 00:19:53,997
Of course.
419
00:19:58,019 --> 00:20:00,019
That'll be $9.54.
420
00:20:07,011 --> 00:20:10,011
And there, beneath
the fluorescent moonlight,
421
00:20:10,016 --> 00:20:13,006
I was finally laughing
with romance,
422
00:20:13,008 --> 00:20:14,018
and not at it.
423
00:20:16,017 --> 00:20:18,007
And if I went
any bigger than this,
424
00:20:18,013 --> 00:20:21,003
I'd think I'd look
ridiculous, don't you?
425
00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:22,022
-Well, that's not my work.
-Oh.
426
00:20:22,022 --> 00:20:24,012
But I did hers.
427
00:20:24,010 --> 00:20:26,010
And hers right before
the Golden Globes.
428
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:27,997
Wow, they're winners.
429
00:20:28,002 --> 00:20:29,002
Other arm, please.
430
00:20:29,003 --> 00:20:30,023
Mm.
431
00:20:31,001 --> 00:20:32,021
I have an event in two months
432
00:20:32,020 --> 00:20:35,000
that I'd really like to
have a little cleavage for.
433
00:20:35,004 --> 00:20:36,004
Hmm.
434
00:20:36,004 --> 00:20:37,014
Will they be up
and running by then?
435
00:20:37,016 --> 00:20:38,016
Ms. Jones, you have a lump
436
00:20:38,020 --> 00:20:42,010
I'd like you to have checked out
before we begin our work.
437
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:44,007
It's right here,
you can feel it yourself.
438
00:20:44,016 --> 00:20:45,016
Are you kidding?
439
00:20:46,001 --> 00:20:48,021
No, I'm afraid not.
440
00:20:48,020 --> 00:20:52,020
Okay, but it's not
serious, right?
441
00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:53,997
Well, it's probably just a cyst,
442
00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:55,013
but we want to be
absolutely sure.
443
00:20:55,010 --> 00:20:58,010
I'd like you to have it looked
at as soon as possible, okay?
444
00:21:05,009 --> 00:21:06,019
By Miranda's wedding day,
445
00:21:06,021 --> 00:21:08,021
I thought the whole world
had gone romantic
446
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:11,017
when Samantha insisted on
picking me up in a cab.
447
00:21:12,019 --> 00:21:13,019
What has come over you?
448
00:21:14,001 --> 00:21:15,021
This is a hundred blocks
out of your way.
449
00:21:15,017 --> 00:21:17,997
So, now we're going to
10th and 6th Avenue, please.
450
00:21:18,006 --> 00:21:19,016
-Boy, you look nice.
-Well, so do you.
451
00:21:19,021 --> 00:21:20,021
Thank you.
452
00:21:20,021 --> 00:21:24,001
So, I had my breast consultation
453
00:21:24,004 --> 00:21:25,014
with the plastic surgeon.
454
00:21:25,011 --> 00:21:27,011
Please tell me
you've changed your mind.
455
00:21:27,013 --> 00:21:28,023
Well, not exactly.
456
00:21:28,023 --> 00:21:31,023
He found a lump,
and I had it biopsied,
457
00:21:31,021 --> 00:21:33,011
and it turns out I have cancer.
458
00:21:33,015 --> 00:21:35,995
You... What? When?
459
00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:39,013
Well, I had it
biopsied on Wednesday and
I found out yesterday.
460
00:21:39,008 --> 00:21:40,018
I'm gonna give you
all the information
461
00:21:40,023 --> 00:21:43,023
and I don't want you to get
upset or start worrying,
462
00:21:43,023 --> 00:21:45,013
and the only reason
I'm telling you now
463
00:21:45,011 --> 00:21:48,011
and not later is I didn't want
to accidentally blurt out,
464
00:21:48,013 --> 00:21:51,013
"I have cancer," in the middle
of Miranda's wedding.
465
00:21:52,017 --> 00:21:55,007
Could you please take Fifth?
Broadway's a disaster.
466
00:21:57,010 --> 00:21:58,020
Okay, I'm listening.
467
00:21:58,017 --> 00:22:00,997
And please don't tell
Charlotte and Miranda.
468
00:22:01,003 --> 00:22:02,023
I don't want to ruin
their days, too.
469
00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:04,011
Of course, whatever you say.
470
00:22:05,013 --> 00:22:07,023
So what exactly do you know?
471
00:22:07,018 --> 00:22:09,008
Well, just that
there are cancer cells
472
00:22:09,010 --> 00:22:11,010
and I had a mammogram,
and they think it's small,
473
00:22:11,009 --> 00:22:12,009
which is a good sign.
474
00:22:12,015 --> 00:22:13,015
And I won't know
anything else
475
00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:15,020
until they take
the fucker out next week,
476
00:22:15,020 --> 00:22:17,000
so there, now
you know everything
477
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:18,023
and we can talk about
something else.
478
00:22:22,009 --> 00:22:24,019
So, do you like my skunk?
479
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,010
Well, thank you for telling me.
480
00:22:28,015 --> 00:22:30,005
Sure.
481
00:22:30,008 --> 00:22:33,008
I'm sorry to put a big cloud
over the whole day.
482
00:22:33,010 --> 00:22:34,010
Samantha--
483
00:22:34,012 --> 00:22:37,022
I know I'm gonna
be fine, I know that.
484
00:22:37,020 --> 00:22:39,010
It's just...
485
00:22:41,011 --> 00:22:43,011
I don't want to lose my breasts.
486
00:22:44,019 --> 00:22:45,999
They're fabulous.
487
00:22:52,015 --> 00:22:53,015
For better or worse.
488
00:22:53,023 --> 00:22:56,023
For richer or poorer.
489
00:22:57,001 --> 00:23:04,011
To love and to cherish,
as long as we both shall live.
490
00:23:05,023 --> 00:23:08,013
This is my solemn vow.
491
00:23:08,009 --> 00:23:09,009
Now Miranda.
492
00:23:09,015 --> 00:23:13,005
I, Miranda Hobbes...
493
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,020
Take you, Steve Brady...
494
00:23:18,009 --> 00:23:19,009
To be my husband...
495
00:23:19,011 --> 00:23:22,011
Look, mommy and daddy
are getting married.
496
00:23:24,002 --> 00:23:25,012
For richer or poorer...
497
00:23:25,014 --> 00:23:28,024
In sickness and in health...
498
00:23:29,001 --> 00:23:35,021
To love and to cherish,
as long as we both shall live.
499
00:23:35,022 --> 00:23:38,022
This is my solemn vow.
500
00:23:38,020 --> 00:23:40,020
Do you promise
to uphold these vows
501
00:23:41,001 --> 00:23:43,001
you've made here today,
witnessed by your closest
502
00:23:43,002 --> 00:23:45,002
friends and family?
503
00:23:46,011 --> 00:23:49,011
I do.
504
00:23:49,010 --> 00:23:52,010
With the power vested in me
by the state of New York,
505
00:23:52,007 --> 00:23:56,007
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
506
00:24:02,008 --> 00:24:05,998
C'mon, everybody,
it's happy time.
507
00:24:06,003 --> 00:24:08,023
C'mon, it's happy time.
508
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:13,000
C'mon, it's happy time!
509
00:24:16,005 --> 00:24:19,005
The one wedding ritual Miranda
never had a problem with
510
00:24:19,013 --> 00:24:21,023
was the part
where everyone eats.
511
00:24:21,022 --> 00:24:23,012
And so we did.
512
00:24:23,016 --> 00:24:25,016
Samantha, you look
so pretty today.
513
00:24:25,018 --> 00:24:27,008
Thanks, I have cancer.
514
00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:29,007
-What?
-Are you all okay with drinks?
515
00:24:29,007 --> 00:24:31,017
Uh, no,
we're not okay with drinks.
Keep 'em coming.
516
00:24:31,019 --> 00:24:32,019
Cool.
517
00:24:35,006 --> 00:24:36,016
I like the color of your dress.
518
00:24:36,019 --> 00:24:37,999
Oh, thank you.
519
00:24:38,003 --> 00:24:41,023
I admire you for not pretending.
520
00:24:41,022 --> 00:24:44,012
Listen, we're family now
521
00:24:44,007 --> 00:24:47,007
and there's something private
I want to tell you...
522
00:24:47,013 --> 00:24:48,023
Oh, you don't have to.
523
00:24:48,023 --> 00:24:53,023
The day I married
Steve's father, I wore white.
524
00:24:53,021 --> 00:24:55,001
But I shouldn't have.
525
00:24:56,002 --> 00:24:57,022
I slipped.
526
00:24:57,020 --> 00:24:59,020
Once, God forgive me.
527
00:25:01,019 --> 00:25:04,009
Don't tell Steve.
528
00:25:04,012 --> 00:25:07,012
When I walked down
that aisle at Saint Agnes...
529
00:25:07,010 --> 00:25:10,010
I had a white dress on--
on the outside,
530
00:25:10,010 --> 00:25:13,010
and my little Jackie
on the inside.
531
00:25:22,006 --> 00:25:23,006
Steve?
532
00:25:24,011 --> 00:25:25,021
Hey, Ma.
533
00:25:25,019 --> 00:25:27,009
-What?
-Ya still hungry?
534
00:25:27,007 --> 00:25:28,017
C'mon, let's get some chow.
535
00:25:31,015 --> 00:25:35,015
Oh my God, I am legally
bound to Steve's mother.
536
00:25:35,017 --> 00:25:36,017
-Hi again.
-There she is.
537
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,020
Congratulations!
538
00:25:41,006 --> 00:25:42,996
What, why are you being weird?
539
00:25:43,004 --> 00:25:45,004
We're not being weird.
540
00:25:45,002 --> 00:25:46,002
No, we're just talking.
541
00:25:46,005 --> 00:25:48,005
About me, right?
542
00:25:48,009 --> 00:25:49,009
You think I'm an asshole,
543
00:25:49,013 --> 00:25:51,023
that I've become one of them,
that I'm a Stepford bride.
544
00:25:51,019 --> 00:25:53,999
-God, no!
-No!
545
00:25:54,004 --> 00:25:55,024
Then tell me what
you're talking about.
546
00:25:55,017 --> 00:25:56,007
I'll tell you tomorrow,
547
00:25:56,014 --> 00:25:58,004
I don't want to ruin
your special day.
548
00:25:58,003 --> 00:26:01,013
Forget about my special
fucking day and be normal.
549
00:26:01,014 --> 00:26:03,024
Please, I beg of you.
550
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,020
I have breast cancer.
551
00:26:10,017 --> 00:26:11,017
What?
552
00:26:11,020 --> 00:26:12,020
See?
553
00:26:12,020 --> 00:26:15,010
Now it's my special fucking day.
Hmph!
554
00:26:16,018 --> 00:26:18,008
You have breast cancer?
555
00:26:18,008 --> 00:26:21,008
Hey, no tears.
556
00:26:21,008 --> 00:26:24,018
Miranda, I expected
more from you.
557
00:26:25,001 --> 00:26:26,011
See, this is what
we were afraid of.
558
00:26:26,010 --> 00:26:29,010
Go back to your people,
we'll talk about this later.
559
00:26:29,009 --> 00:26:32,009
You are my people
and we'll talk about it now!
560
00:26:33,016 --> 00:26:34,016
Now, start at the beginning.
561
00:26:34,022 --> 00:26:38,012
You are the bossiest
bride in the world.
562
00:26:38,016 --> 00:26:41,006
Yes, I am.
And you have to do
everything I say.
563
00:26:41,008 --> 00:26:42,008
Ooh.
564
00:26:43,022 --> 00:26:46,022
Now start talking.
565
00:26:47,001 --> 00:26:50,021
Okay, do you remember
when I wanted...
566
00:26:50,017 --> 00:26:52,017
For better or for worse,
567
00:26:52,019 --> 00:26:55,009
we were all ourselves that day.
568
00:26:56,017 --> 00:26:58,017
Just the way Miranda wanted it.