1
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:30,665
Ohh,
you're so good.

2
00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:33,962
Ohh, yes.
I am the best, baby.

3
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,397
- Oh, yeah!
- Oh. Oh, that was a tit.

4
00:00:36,467 --> 00:00:38,866
That is a tit! Yes!

5
00:00:38,935 --> 00:00:40,901
Oh, you're so big!

6
00:00:40,968 --> 00:00:43,763
Oh, yeah. Yeah,
that's right, baby.

7
00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:46,028
- Oh, doggie
wants to hide his bone.
- Yes!

8
00:00:46,102 --> 00:00:48,260
Oh, yeah!
I'm bone smugglin', baby.

9
00:00:48,334 --> 00:00:50,425
Man, would you shut up!

10
00:00:50,501 --> 00:00:52,933
Hey, Jimmy.
Just wanted to say sweet dreams.

11
00:00:53,001 --> 00:00:54,933
Yeah, yeah.
Sweet dreams. Good night, Mom.

12
00:00:55,001 --> 00:00:58,263
Kiss good night.

13
00:00:58,335 --> 00:01:01,563
- Something wrong
with the reception?
- Uh, yeah. Yeah.

14
00:01:01,635 --> 00:01:04,260
- There's... There's this nature
show that I'm trying to watch.
- Take it off.

15
00:01:04,335 --> 00:01:08,199
- And the birds are
all scrambled and I can't even...
- Do me! Yes!

16
00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:11,257
Baby! Ride me like a pony!

17
00:01:11,335 --> 00:01:14,768
- The thing must be broken or I
sat on the remote or something.

18
00:01:14,836 --> 00:01:17,268
- Getting ready for bed, son?
- Yup, I'm all set, Dad. I'm all set.

19
00:01:17,336 --> 00:01:20,427
- Yeah?
- No! No, I think he's tried
to watch some illegal channels.

20
00:01:20,503 --> 00:01:23,469
- Illegal... Illegal channels?
- This is just bad reception, honey.

21
00:01:23,536 --> 00:01:25,525
- Oh, spank my hairy ass!
- What's that?

22
00:01:25,603 --> 00:01:29,433
- Ooh, baby!
- You know what? Here.
Just give me this, please...

23
00:01:29,503 --> 00:01:32,298
- Oh, my God!
- And let's get this...

24
00:01:32,369 --> 00:01:36,098
Okay, okay. Let's, uh... What the hell's
the matter with this thing?

25
00:01:36,170 --> 00:01:37,469
Yes!

26
00:01:37,504 --> 00:01:37,902
Yes!

27
00:01:48,671 --> 00:01:51,501
Illegal channels?
Shit!

28
00:01:51,571 --> 00:01:53,901
If there's any channel that
should be illegal, it's
that "all-woman's" channel.

29
00:01:53,971 --> 00:01:57,802
- Lifetime supply
of pantyhose or some shit.
- Yeah.

30
00:01:57,872 --> 00:02:00,235
Hey, uh, did you see The Little Mermaid
on TV the other night?

31
00:02:00,305 --> 00:02:03,294
- No.
- Ariel, man. She's so hot!

32
00:02:03,371 --> 00:02:07,326
- She's a mermaid, dude.
- Yeah, Oz. But not when she's on land.

33
00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:11,972
Come on, Vicky, it's Stifler's
party. We got to go. It'll be great.

34
00:02:12,042 --> 00:02:15,798
Why? All that
happens at Stifler's parties
is people get drunk and do it.

35
00:02:15,868 --> 00:02:17,797
Yeah.

36
00:02:17,864 --> 00:02:19,793
Now, come on, Kevin.
Open it.

37
00:02:19,860 --> 00:02:23,149
It's a big, thick envelope, Vicky.
You got in.

38
00:02:23,220 --> 00:02:25,374
If you think so,
just open it.

39
00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:27,411
Fine.

41
00:02:34,331 --> 00:02:38,050
"Dear Miss Latham: We're sorry but
after keeping you on the waiting list...

42
00:02:38,123 --> 00:02:41,604
for the past couple of months, we've
decided that you are now rejected."

43
00:02:41,682 --> 00:02:43,667
Shut up!

44
00:02:43,745 --> 00:02:48,565
- You got in.
- Yes! I love you!

45
00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:51,152
Okay.

46
00:02:58,116 --> 00:03:00,237
Hey, you think I should wear
this shirt to Stifler's party?

47
00:03:00,311 --> 00:03:02,828
You've worn that shirt for,
like, three days in a row, man!

48
00:03:02,905 --> 00:03:04,924
Guys.
She said it.

49
00:03:05,001 --> 00:03:07,394
- Said what?
- She said she loves me.

50
00:03:07,464 --> 00:03:09,720
- Holy shit, dude! The "L" word?
- Oh, man!

51
00:03:09,791 --> 00:03:12,185
Cornell's not
that far from "U" of "M."

52
00:03:12,254 --> 00:03:14,182
Yeah, it's only,
like, seven hours.

53
00:03:14,249 --> 00:03:16,211
Oh, and you get
to drive across Canada.

54
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:20,759
- Beautiful country.
- Whatever. It's doable.

55
00:03:20,836 --> 00:03:23,524
Wh-What we should
do today, in band.

56
00:03:23,597 --> 00:03:27,419
Instead of playing
our instruments regularly,
we should play them backwards.

57
00:03:27,489 --> 00:03:29,746
- That'll be so funny!
- Yeah.

58
00:03:34,009 --> 00:03:38,456
No offense, but you're talking
about a post-high school,
long-distance relationship.

59
00:03:38,534 --> 00:03:40,519
And you and Kevin
haven't even done it yet.

60
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:42,716
That's not why
we're going out.

61
00:03:42,824 --> 00:03:46,306
What do you expect him to drive
to Cornell for? Milk and cookies?

62
00:03:46,385 --> 00:03:48,540
We're gonna have sex
when he's ready and I'm ready.

63
00:03:48,613 --> 00:03:50,700
It's got to be
completely perfect.

64
00:03:50,775 --> 00:03:53,860
I want the right time, the right moment,
the right place...

65
00:03:53,936 --> 00:03:56,691
Vicky, it's not
a space shuttle launch. It's sex.

66
00:04:00,655 --> 00:04:02,980
- Finch.
- Here's the man we are looking for.

67
00:04:03,050 --> 00:04:04,095
- Gentlemen.
- What's goin' on, buddy?

68
00:04:04,130 --> 00:04:05,141
- Gentlemen.
- What's goin' on, buddy?

69
00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:08,603
- Same ol'...
- Finch.
You got the Latin homework?

70
00:04:08,672 --> 00:04:14,321
Oh.

71
00:04:14,394 --> 00:04:16,911
It means, "My dog ate it."
It's Latin. It's a joke.

72
00:04:16,989 --> 00:04:21,310
- It's a Latin joke.
- Yeah, Latin. Just drink your coffee.

73
00:04:21,380 --> 00:04:23,670
- No, Jim, it's mochaccino.
- What?

74
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:26,225
What I'm drinking, it's mochaccino.
It's not coffee.

75
00:04:26,304 --> 00:04:28,289
'Nova!

76
00:04:28,366 --> 00:04:30,419
What's up, dude?

77
00:04:30,495 --> 00:04:32,649
You comin' to the party
tonight, Ozzie, you fuckface?

78
00:04:32,723 --> 00:04:35,116
Uh, depends if my date
wants to stop by.

79
00:04:35,186 --> 00:04:38,339
- I'm workin' on somethin' new.
- I got an idea about something new.

80
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:40,736
How about you guys
actually locate your dicks,

81
00:04:40,806 --> 00:04:43,664
remove the shrink-wrap
and fucking use them!

82
00:04:43,734 --> 00:04:47,523
Dude, it's gonna happen.
She's a college chick.

83
00:04:47,593 --> 00:04:50,020
Oh, right.
I'll see you guys tonight.

84
00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:53,639
I'll look for you in the no-fucking
section.

85
00:04:57,162 --> 00:05:01,115
All right. I'm shooting for a
9:00 E.T.A. beer in hand by five after.

86
00:05:01,194 --> 00:05:03,422
Breath check.

87
00:05:04,994 --> 00:05:08,289
Thank you.

88
00:05:14,623 --> 00:05:17,554
- I wish you wouldn't do that.
- So, you got something up
your sleeve for tonight?

89
00:05:17,622 --> 00:05:20,451
This is a foolproof plan,
my friend.

90
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,542
I have a serious question
to ask you guys. Okay.

91
00:05:22,620 --> 00:05:26,280
You know Nadia the Czechoslovakian
chick? She might be there tonight.

92
00:05:26,354 --> 00:05:28,580
Now, do you think she would prefer...

93
00:05:30,418 --> 00:05:32,383
Laid-back Jim...

94
00:05:32,450 --> 00:05:35,143
or...

95
00:05:35,216 --> 00:05:38,010
Cool, hip Jim?

96
00:05:38,082 --> 00:05:40,105
I don't think it really matters
with that shirt you're wearing.

97
00:05:40,181 --> 00:05:43,510
What? Correct me if I'm wrong but
you're the one with the girlfriend...

98
00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:45,568
and you're still
stranded on third base.

99
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,339
Hey, at least I know what
third base feels like, okay?

100
00:05:48,411 --> 00:05:50,933
- You're still just a batboy.
- Batboy. Batboy.

101
00:05:51,011 --> 00:05:52,943
What are you talking about?

102
00:05:53,011 --> 00:05:55,804
Guys, uh...

103
00:05:55,875 --> 00:05:59,136
What exactly does
third base feel like?

104
00:05:59,208 --> 00:06:01,174
You wanna
take this one?

105
00:06:02,342 --> 00:06:06,738
- Like warm apple pie.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

106
00:06:06,806 --> 00:06:10,101
Apple pie, huh?

107
00:06:10,172 --> 00:06:12,864
McDonald's or homemade?

108
00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:16,561
Gentlemen,
destiny awaits.

109
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:21,433
- # It's been one week
since you looked at me #

110
00:06:21,501 --> 00:06:23,432
# Cocked your head to the side
and said, I'm angry #

111
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:26,125
That's number five and six
for the Stif-meister!

112
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,790
Yeah.

113
00:06:28,865 --> 00:06:30,989
Oops!

114
00:06:31,065 --> 00:06:33,894
- Holy!
- H-Hey!

115
00:06:33,964 --> 00:06:37,621
Nadia! Buenos días.
Glad you could make it.

116
00:06:37,695 --> 00:06:40,627
I'll be back for you later.

117
00:06:46,359 --> 00:06:48,847
- Another party sultan!
- How ya doin'?

118
00:06:48,925 --> 00:06:50,947
Welcome to Stifler's
Palace of Love, fellas.

119
00:06:51,024 --> 00:06:54,251
- The keg's back there! Enjoy!
- Yeah.

120
00:06:54,323 --> 00:06:57,686
Vicky, Jessica! Great to see you.
Glad you could make it.

121
00:06:57,755 --> 00:07:00,017
Haha, bitches!

122
00:07:00,089 --> 00:07:02,077
- Sherman!
- Hey!

123
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,642
What the fuck
are you doin' here?

124
00:07:08,186 --> 00:07:09,548
Fellas!
What's goin' on?

125
00:07:09,583 --> 00:07:10,912
Fellas!
What's goin' on?

126
00:07:10,985 --> 00:07:14,346
Sherman. Not much. Just, uh,
scopin' the babes.

127
00:07:14,416 --> 00:07:18,008
Indeed! Some fine ladies here, boys.

128
00:07:18,083 --> 00:07:21,605
Confidence is high.
Repeat. Confidence is high.

129
00:07:21,682 --> 00:07:24,079
Sherman is movin'
to DEFCON 2.

130
00:07:24,148 --> 00:07:27,509
- Full strategic arsenal
ready for deployment.
- Hey!

131
00:07:27,579 --> 00:07:29,703
You have somethin'
goin' tonight, Sherman?

132
00:07:29,778 --> 00:07:31,903
You see that
Central chick, Bernette?

133
00:07:31,978 --> 00:07:33,636
- Um, no.
- No.

134
00:07:33,710 --> 00:07:37,006
She's around.
Seems she's taken a liking to me.

135
00:07:38,442 --> 00:07:41,805
Fellas, it's time
she experienced... the Shermanator.

136
00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:44,170
Yeah, okay,
Sherman. Whatever.

137
00:07:44,241 --> 00:07:48,295
I'm a sophisticated sex robot
sent back through time...

138
00:07:48,371 --> 00:07:51,894
to change the future
for one lucky lady.

139
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:55,403
- Go get 'em, tiger.
I'll be back!

140
00:07:57,570 --> 00:07:59,535
- Hopeless.
- Completely.

141
00:07:59,602 --> 00:08:01,658
- Hi.
- Hey, Vic.

142
00:08:01,734 --> 00:08:04,631
Oh, shit.
Guys... Guys...

143
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:08,324
There's Nadia and
she just looked at me.

144
00:08:08,399 --> 00:08:11,024
- She just looked at me.
- Well, why don't you go talk to her?

145
00:08:12,097 --> 00:08:14,654
Yeah.

146
00:08:14,730 --> 00:08:17,217
Yeah, you're right, Kev.
I should just go talk to her.

147
00:08:19,328 --> 00:08:21,260
Yeah,
I could do that. Sure.

148
00:08:21,328 --> 00:08:25,349
Sure.

149
00:08:25,426 --> 00:08:29,357
Kev? Kev? Ke...

150
00:08:37,789 --> 00:08:40,549
Yeah. Yeah.

151
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:47,216
# At last #

152
00:08:49,718 --> 00:08:52,116
# My love #

153
00:08:52,185 --> 00:08:55,344
# Has come along #

154
00:08:57,783 --> 00:09:01,770
# My lonely days #

155
00:09:01,848 --> 00:09:06,040
- # Are over #
- That's great!

156
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:10,441
# And life
is like a song #

157
00:09:14,343 --> 00:09:16,535
# Oh, yeah, yeah #

158
00:09:16,609 --> 00:09:18,837
# At last #

159
00:09:20,208 --> 00:09:22,173
See ya later.

160
00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:24,419
# The stars above ##

161
00:09:30,328 --> 00:09:32,688
We're here for the party.

162
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,917
What party?
There's no party.

163
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:38,203
Party!

164
00:09:40,095 --> 00:09:44,585
Weird.
Try the house down the street.

165
00:09:48,999 --> 00:09:52,019
So, what's your major?

166
00:09:52,096 --> 00:09:54,151
Post-modern feminist thought.

167
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:57,587
Oh, cool.
Great night, isn't it?

168
00:09:57,657 --> 00:10:00,849
Sure.

169
00:10:00,922 --> 00:10:06,315
Yeah, it's just somethin' about the
springtime that's just cool, you know?

170
00:10:06,383 --> 00:10:10,813
Like the smell
of fresh rain or somethin'.

171
00:10:10,881 --> 00:10:13,175
Suck me, beautiful.

172
00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:15,731
What did you just say?

173
00:10:15,776 --> 00:10:19,535
Suck me, beautiful.

174
00:10:19,606 --> 00:10:24,795
My friends call me "'Nova,"
as in Casanova.

175
00:10:24,868 --> 00:10:27,163
That's pathetic.

176
00:10:28,365 --> 00:10:30,727
Jeez, you don't
have to laugh at me.

177
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,784
Well, there's just some things
you need to learn, that's all.

178
00:10:32,862 --> 00:10:35,156
- Like what?
- Well, you've got to tone it down.

179
00:10:35,226 --> 00:10:37,452
You don't need to come
to a place like Lookout Point...

180
00:10:37,524 --> 00:10:40,488
and spout off
cheeseball lines to be romantic.

181
00:10:40,555 --> 00:10:43,814
- Okay.
- You have to pay attention to a girl.

182
00:10:43,886 --> 00:10:48,009
Be sensitive to her feelings.
Relationships are reciprocal.

183
00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:52,306
Come on, Casanova.
I'll take you back to your friends.

184
00:10:57,332 --> 00:11:01,813
Vicky, think it's time to take
the next step in our relationship?

185
00:11:01,888 --> 00:11:05,581
- Tonight?
- Yeah, it's such a perfect evening.

186
00:11:05,653 --> 00:11:08,062
I mean, it's how you've
always pictured it, isn't it?

187
00:11:08,129 --> 00:11:10,301
Damn, my parts fuckin' stink!

188
00:11:10,374 --> 00:11:14,235
Dude, you gotta take
a shit! You smell like a Yeti!

189
00:11:14,304 --> 00:11:17,141
Or not.

190
00:11:17,209 --> 00:11:19,944
Just relax.

191
00:11:23,123 --> 00:11:25,920
You actually
said that?

192
00:11:25,992 --> 00:11:29,152
Shut up!

193
00:11:29,225 --> 00:11:31,249
You did a hell of a lot better
than I did with Nadia.

194
00:11:31,326 --> 00:11:34,292
Oh, thanks, Jim, that's great.
That's really reassuring.

195
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,850
Hey, no problem,
'Nova.

196
00:11:36,927 --> 00:11:40,860
Hey, don't call me 'Nova anymore.
I'm a... I'm a fraud.

197
00:11:40,927 --> 00:11:43,361
You guys
are pathetic.

198
00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:46,328
I'm gonna find myself
a little hottie.

199
00:11:46,397 --> 00:11:50,090
"Suck me, beautiful"!

200
00:11:55,065 --> 00:11:57,658
- Let me know.
- Okay.

201
00:11:57,733 --> 00:12:00,096
Keep going.

202
00:12:00,166 --> 00:12:02,657
I should be able
to talk to girls.

203
00:12:02,735 --> 00:12:05,064
I'm articulate.

204
00:12:05,134 --> 00:12:07,431
You know, I got a 720
on my S.A.T. Verbal.

205
00:12:07,502 --> 00:12:09,695
Bullshit.
There's no way.

206
00:12:09,769 --> 00:12:13,668
I kid you not, man.
Look. Listen.

207
00:12:13,737 --> 00:12:18,102
Copious. Verisimilitude.

208
00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:21,195
Oh, ohh. Now.

210
00:12:31,574 --> 00:12:33,507
Suck me,
beautiful!

211
00:12:33,575 --> 00:12:36,405
- Damn it, Stifler.
- Checkout time!

212
00:12:36,475 --> 00:12:41,774
- Please, vacate the room.
- You are such a jerk.

213
00:12:45,977 --> 00:12:49,411
God, I can't believe how many
cool people are at this party.

214
00:12:49,479 --> 00:12:52,775
Yup.

215
00:12:52,845 --> 00:12:55,142
And you got
a keg too!

216
00:12:55,213 --> 00:12:58,043
- Wow!
- Indeed.

217
00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:06,178
Oh, wait.
I left my beer downstairs.

218
00:13:06,249 --> 00:13:08,681
No. No.
Here, babe!

219
00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:11,683
Thanks.

220
00:13:11,751 --> 00:13:14,808
You're really
beautiful. Oh...

221
00:13:14,884 --> 00:13:18,477
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.

222
00:13:33,022 --> 00:13:36,081
You know what? I don't know
if I want to be doing this.

223
00:13:36,157 --> 00:13:40,920
- Doing what?
- You know, like, if we hook up tonight,

224
00:13:40,991 --> 00:13:43,889
tomorrow I'll just be some girl
you go telling all your friends about.

225
00:13:43,958 --> 00:13:47,357
No way!

226
00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:50,358
Steve, you could at least look at me
when you say that!

227
00:13:50,426 --> 00:13:55,053
Look. Sarah,

228
00:13:55,128 --> 00:13:59,084
I... I wouldn't go telling
stories or anything about you.

229
00:13:59,162 --> 00:14:03,721
I promise.
So, just... relax,

230
00:14:03,796 --> 00:14:08,025
take it slow... and
let the good times roll.

231
00:14:09,997 --> 00:14:13,760
- Okay.
- All right.

232
00:14:19,201 --> 00:14:22,464
What's wrong?

233
00:14:24,135 --> 00:14:26,728
What's wrong?
What is it?

234
00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:33,870
Xenophobic.

235
00:14:33,938 --> 00:14:38,338
Oh!

236
00:14:38,406 --> 00:14:41,304
- Regurgitation.
- I know that one.

237
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:45,904
- Kevin likes it.
- He likes getting head.

238
00:14:45,973 --> 00:14:48,497
Gee, what a total shocker.
What about you, Vicky?

239
00:14:48,575 --> 00:14:50,733
I mean, h-have you just
never had one with Kevin...

240
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,775
or have you never
had one, period?

241
00:14:52,843 --> 00:14:55,207
I've had one.

242
00:14:55,276 --> 00:14:57,469
- I think.
- Okay.

243
00:14:57,543 --> 00:15:01,408
That's a no. No wonder
you're not psyched about sex.

244
00:15:01,478 --> 00:15:03,411
You tell me you never
even had one manually?

245
00:15:03,479 --> 00:15:06,740
- I've never tried it.
- You've never
double-clicked your mouse?

246
00:15:08,011 --> 00:15:09,944
Ha-ha, nice!

247
00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:12,673
- Jesus! Stifler, how much
did you drink, man?

248
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:16,702
Hey, Stifler?
How's the pale ale?

249
00:15:16,781 --> 00:15:20,545
- Fuck you!
- Ooh, whoo!

250
00:15:20,715 --> 00:15:24,739
- That's Stifler's mom?
- Yup.

251
00:15:24,816 --> 00:15:29,807
Shit. I cannot believe a fine woman
like this produced a guy like Stifler.

252
00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:33,783
- Dude, that chick's a "MILF."
- What the hell is that?

253
00:15:33,852 --> 00:15:38,013
- M-I-L-F... Mom I'd like to fuck.
- Yeah, dude!

254
00:15:38,086 --> 00:15:40,144
Oh-ho, yeah!

255
00:15:40,221 --> 00:15:43,278
- Yeah! MILF! MILF!
- Hey, guys... Guys. Guys.

256
00:15:43,354 --> 00:15:46,684
- Come here.
- Sherman, what's goin' on?

257
00:15:46,754 --> 00:15:51,212
Yeah, uh... Don't you think you fellas
could try a little tact?

258
00:15:51,290 --> 00:15:56,053
I got company,
if you know what I mean?

259
00:15:57,558 --> 00:16:00,116
She's hot!

260
00:16:02,459 --> 00:16:07,620
If Sherman has sex before I do,
I'm gonna be really pissed.

261
00:16:07,694 --> 00:16:12,753
Sherman?
The Shermanator?

262
00:16:12,828 --> 00:16:16,284
Come on, man.

263
00:16:17,563 --> 00:16:19,824
MILF! MILF!

264
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:24,159
MILF! MILF! Dude, hey, dude.
What are you doin' to her, dude?

265
00:16:24,231 --> 00:16:27,597
Oh, my God,
bro, dude.

266
00:16:27,665 --> 00:16:30,928
Enough of this blow job bullshit.

267
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:34,659
- I gotta get laid already.
- That's nice.
Really, really nice.

268
00:16:34,733 --> 00:16:38,497
- Can I have a ride?
- Sure.

269
00:16:38,568 --> 00:16:42,057
- Vicky, wait.
- Not for you.

270
00:16:41,784 --> 00:16:46,150
Yeti!
I am the Yeti!

271
00:16:54,896 --> 00:16:57,474
- Good morning, gentlemen.
- Finch.

272
00:16:57,549 --> 00:17:01,462
Where were you last night, huh?
What happened to that
foolproof plan of yours?

273
00:17:01,529 --> 00:17:04,605
Well, I was going for a fashionably-late
entrance and I was too late.

274
00:17:04,679 --> 00:17:07,530
So,
no ladies left.

275
00:17:07,599 --> 00:17:10,110
It was a very
special night, very special.

276
00:17:10,186 --> 00:17:12,798
Guys. Guys.

277
00:17:15,095 --> 00:17:19,132
- I'll never forget this.
- Oh, I'll never forget it, either.

278
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:23,640
- Thank you.
- Uhh.

279
00:17:23,717 --> 00:17:27,789
- Well, bye.
- Bye.

280
00:17:27,864 --> 00:17:29,786
Bye.

281
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:35,446
Fellas, say good-bye
to Chuck Sherman, the boy.

282
00:17:35,524 --> 00:17:38,170
I... am now a man.

283
00:17:38,243 --> 00:17:40,924
I highly recommend
you join the club.

284
00:17:40,997 --> 00:17:46,369
We were doin' the wild thing...
all night. I'm exhausted.

285
00:17:46,436 --> 00:17:49,478
I don't get it. I mean,
how the hell did you do that?

286
00:17:49,555 --> 00:17:54,225
It was just my time.
It was just my time.

287
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,008
Best of luck
to you boys.

288
00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:03,447
- I cannot believe this.
- Come on, guys.

289
00:18:03,518 --> 00:18:06,231
You know, we should
be happy for Sherman.

290
00:18:07,264 --> 00:18:09,809
No, we shouldn't be.

291
00:18:09,884 --> 00:18:12,802
You know, I put in months
of quality time with Vicky.

292
00:18:12,869 --> 00:18:15,515
Sherman meets a chick
for one night and scores.

293
00:18:15,589 --> 00:18:18,268
- This is just wrong.
- No shit.

294
00:18:18,342 --> 00:18:21,813
How the hell am I supposed
to become Mr. Sensitive Man?

295
00:18:21,891 --> 00:18:25,566
You know, we're all gonna go to college
as virgins. You realize this, right?

296
00:18:25,639 --> 00:18:28,058
I mean, they probably have special dorms
for people like us.

297
00:18:28,126 --> 00:18:32,830
All right. I got an idea.
But it's got to stay between us.

298
00:18:32,902 --> 00:18:35,378
It's really simple. We just
got to make an agreement.

299
00:18:35,423 --> 00:18:37,774
Er, nah. It's...
It's more than an agreement.

300
00:18:37,843 --> 00:18:39,992
- What? A bet?
- A pact.

301
00:18:40,066 --> 00:18:42,385
No money involved.
More important than any bet.

302
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:46,265
Here's the deal.
We all get laid before we graduate.

303
00:18:48,225 --> 00:18:50,769
Dude, it's not like I haven't
been trying to get laid.

304
00:18:50,844 --> 00:18:53,625
Think about when you work out, Oz.
You gotta have someone there, right?

305
00:18:53,697 --> 00:18:56,242
Someone to spot you.
Someone to keep you motivated.

306
00:18:56,318 --> 00:18:58,737
Well, that's exactly what
we can do for each other.

307
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,519
I mean, we'll be there
to keep each other on track.

308
00:19:01,591 --> 00:19:03,875
Separately, we are flawed
and vulnerable, but together,

309
00:19:03,946 --> 00:19:06,094
we are the masters
of our sexual destiny.

310
00:19:06,168 --> 00:19:08,091
Their tiger-style
kung fu is strong.

311
00:19:08,158 --> 00:19:10,080
But our dragon-style
will defeat it.

312
00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:13,687
- Guys!
- The Shaolin masters from East
and West must unite!

313
00:19:13,762 --> 00:19:16,307
- Fight, and find out who is number one.
- Guys!

314
00:19:16,382 --> 00:19:21,121
Come on. You're ruining my moment here.
This is our very manhood at stake.

315
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:23,771
We must make
a stand, here and now.

316
00:19:25,106 --> 00:19:28,542
No longer will our penises
remain flaccid and unused!

317
00:19:28,621 --> 00:19:32,692
We will fight for every man out there
who isn't getting laid and should be.

318
00:19:32,767 --> 00:19:36,205
This is our day.
This is our time.

319
00:19:36,283 --> 00:19:40,625
And, by God, we will not stand by and
watch history condemn us into celibacy.

320
00:19:40,694 --> 00:19:42,672
- Amen. Yes.
- I like that.

321
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:46,628
- We will make a stand. We will succeed.
- 'Bout time!

322
00:19:46,697 --> 00:19:49,275
- We will get laid!
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

323
00:19:51,571 --> 00:19:55,513
Now, the sex: It's got
to be valid, consensual sex.

324
00:19:55,591 --> 00:19:58,978
- No prostitutes.
That's what you're thinkin', Finch.

325
00:19:59,046 --> 00:20:01,527
Busted.

326
00:20:01,605 --> 00:20:04,289
So, basically,
prom is our last chance.

327
00:20:04,362 --> 00:20:06,446
- Oh, dude. Prom sucks.
- I know,

328
00:20:06,521 --> 00:20:08,639
but you gotta think
about it this way.

329
00:20:08,714 --> 00:20:12,599
I mean, all the parties afterwards?
The chicks are going to want to do it.

330
00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:16,677
- Yeah-yeah, he's right. It's,
like tradition or something.
- The Rose Bowl.

331
00:20:16,754 --> 00:20:20,966
- So, that gives us...
- Exactly three weeks to the day.

332
00:20:22,733 --> 00:20:26,278
- We're gonna do this.
- All right, to the next step!
- Next step!

333
00:20:26,354 --> 00:20:26,917
Next step!

334
00:20:26,952 --> 00:20:28,776
Next step!

335
00:20:28,846 --> 00:20:33,852
# I have visions I was in them
I was lookin' into the mirror #

336
00:20:33,929 --> 00:20:36,851
# To see a little bit clearer #

337
00:20:36,919 --> 00:20:39,343
# The rottenness
and evil in me #

338
00:20:41,802 --> 00:20:46,311
# Fingertips have memories I can't
forget the curves of your body #

339
00:20:46,387 --> 00:20:49,501
# And when I feel
a bit naughty #

340
00:20:49,577 --> 00:20:52,726
# I run it up
the flagpole and see #

341
00:20:52,799 --> 00:20:55,053
# Who salutes
but no one ever does #

342
00:20:55,125 --> 00:20:58,009
# I'm not sick
but I'm not well #

343
00:20:58,044 --> 00:21:00,894
# I'm not sick
but I'm not well #

344
00:21:00,938 --> 00:21:04,415
# And I'm so hot #

345
00:21:04,493 --> 00:21:08,105
# 'Cause I'm in hell #

346
00:21:08,180 --> 00:21:12,462
# Been around the world and found
that only stupid people are breeding #

347
00:21:12,533 --> 00:21:16,316
# The cretins
cloning and feeding #

348
00:21:16,387 --> 00:21:19,071
- Well, did you get the flowers?
- # And I don't even own a TV #

349
00:21:20,871 --> 00:21:23,556
# Hear the voices in my head
I swear to God #

350
00:21:23,627 --> 00:21:26,583
# It sounds like
they're snoring #

351
00:21:26,651 --> 00:21:29,506
# But if you're poor
and you're boring #

352
00:21:29,574 --> 00:21:32,158
# The agony and the irony #

353
00:21:32,233 --> 00:21:35,879
# They're killing me #

354
00:21:35,953 --> 00:21:40,031
# I'm not sick
but I'm not well #

355
00:21:40,106 --> 00:21:43,357
# And I'm so hot #

356
00:21:43,429 --> 00:21:47,143
# 'Cause I'm in hell ##

357
00:21:47,216 --> 00:21:49,504
Don't worry. You'll
get her back soon enough.

358
00:21:49,575 --> 00:21:51,863
- You think so?
- Sure, she likes you.

359
00:21:51,933 --> 00:21:53,008
- Well, I like her too.
- Do you love her?

360
00:21:53,043 --> 00:21:54,083
- Well, I like her too.
- Do you love her?

361
00:21:54,159 --> 00:21:58,100
Um, you know what?
You can't really ask me that.

362
00:21:58,179 --> 00:22:01,158
Well, if you want to get
her in the sack, I mean,
just tell her you love her.

363
00:22:01,236 --> 00:22:04,158
- That's how I was duped.
- Look, Jessica,

364
00:22:04,225 --> 00:22:06,343
I- I don't want
to dupe her.

365
00:22:06,417 --> 00:22:09,964
All right.
What you need to do...

366
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,225
is learn how to press
a girl's buttons.

367
00:22:12,299 --> 00:22:14,224
You have to give her
what she's never had.

368
00:22:14,292 --> 00:22:17,677
- What's that?
- Let me give you a hint.

369
00:22:17,746 --> 00:22:21,756
Ohh, Kev! Uhh. Yeah.

370
00:22:21,832 --> 00:22:24,947
- Comprende?
- You mean an orgasm.

371
00:22:25,021 --> 00:22:27,243
- You got it, stud!
- Well, you know,

372
00:22:27,314 --> 00:22:29,465
I'm-I'm pretty sure that I've...
given her a...

373
00:22:29,540 --> 00:22:33,481
- No, you haven't.
- Well, there was one time...

374
00:22:33,559 --> 00:22:37,036
- No.
- Oh, man.

375
00:22:37,115 --> 00:22:41,962
- Look, kid, it's up to you.
The big "L" or the big "O."
- Dickhead!

376
00:22:41,736 --> 00:22:45,099
- You gotta see this.
- # Do you believe in #

377
00:22:45,169 --> 00:22:48,159
- # Magic in a young girl's heart #
- # Ooh, ooh #

378
00:22:48,236 --> 00:22:51,794
# How the music can free her
whenever it starts #

379
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:55,233
# And it's magic
if the music is groovy #

380
00:22:55,303 --> 00:22:58,895
- # It makes you feel happy #
- What did you cocks do to him?

381
00:22:58,969 --> 00:23:01,765
- # I'll tell you about the magic
It'll free your soul #
- # Ooh, ooh, ooh #

382
00:23:01,837 --> 00:23:06,202
# But it's like tryin' to tell
a stranger 'bout rock 'n' roll ##

383
00:23:06,271 --> 00:23:08,430
Great.
See you next time.

384
00:23:13,204 --> 00:23:16,170
- Hey, guys.
Came to watch me in action?
- Yeah.

385
00:23:16,237 --> 00:23:18,897
- I-I think you sounded pretty good.
- Yeah, man.

386
00:23:18,970 --> 00:23:20,903
I think you need
your balls reattached.

387
00:23:20,970 --> 00:23:24,495
- Hey, keep it down, dude.
- What the fuck are you doing here?

388
00:23:24,572 --> 00:23:26,629
This place
is an untapped resource.

389
00:23:26,705 --> 00:23:28,728
I mean,
check it out.

390
00:23:28,806 --> 00:23:33,397
- These vocal jazz girls are hot.
- Why the hell is he joining
jazz choir so late?

391
00:23:33,472 --> 00:23:37,165
- Maybe he's preparing for
another senior year at East?

392
00:23:37,238 --> 00:23:41,295
You guys,
we don't even know him.

393
00:23:43,306 --> 00:23:45,238
You dipshit!

394
00:23:45,306 --> 00:23:47,397
You're expecting
to score with some...

395
00:23:47,473 --> 00:23:49,405
goody-goody
choirgirl priss?

396
00:23:49,473 --> 00:23:53,565
These chicks don't know me. I can work
the sensitive angle here, fellas!

397
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,868
You know, it's just like
that college chick told me.

398
00:23:55,939 --> 00:23:58,996
All that you gotta do
is just ask 'em questions...

399
00:23:59,072 --> 00:24:01,038
and listen to what
they have to say and shit.

400
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:05,437
I don't know, man.
That sounds like a lot of work!

401
00:24:07,374 --> 00:24:10,636
Uh, just a second!

402
00:24:16,049 --> 00:24:18,177
Come in. Come in.

403
00:24:18,252 --> 00:24:20,278
Oh, Jim, you're here.

404
00:24:20,355 --> 00:24:24,318
Uh, I was just walking
by your room and uh...

405
00:24:24,396 --> 00:24:28,425
And, you know, I was thinking, "Boy,
it's been a long time since we've had...

406
00:24:28,502 --> 00:24:30,904
a little
father-son, uh-uh, chat."

407
00:24:32,275 --> 00:24:36,338
Oh! I almost forgot.
I, uh, I bought some magazines.

408
00:24:36,414 --> 00:24:39,647
Do you just want to flip
to the center section?

409
00:24:41,923 --> 00:24:44,415
Well, this is the...
this is the, uh, female form.

410
00:24:44,493 --> 00:24:47,487
And they have
focused on the breasts,

411
00:24:47,565 --> 00:24:52,335
uh, which are used primarily
to, uh, feed young infants...

412
00:24:52,405 --> 00:24:57,072
- and, uh... and also, uh, in foreplay.
- Right.

413
00:24:57,147 --> 00:25:00,516
This is, uh...
This is Hustler.

414
00:25:00,586 --> 00:25:04,319
And this is a much
more exotic magazine.

415
00:25:04,392 --> 00:25:09,230
Now, they have decided to focus
on the, uh, pubic region...

416
00:25:09,300 --> 00:25:13,136
- Right.
- The whole groin area.

417
00:25:13,206 --> 00:25:17,008
Look at the expression on her face.
You see that? See what's she's doing?

418
00:25:17,078 --> 00:25:20,141
She's kind of looking
right into your eyes saying,

419
00:25:20,218 --> 00:25:24,053
"Hey, big boy.
Hey, how ya doin'?"

420
00:25:24,124 --> 00:25:27,925
- You see?
- Right.

421
00:25:27,995 --> 00:25:32,094
Shaved is a magazine
I'm not too familiar with,

422
00:25:32,169 --> 00:25:36,436
- but, again,
if you flip to the center...

423
00:25:36,508 --> 00:25:38,945
Section...

424
00:25:39,013 --> 00:25:43,316
Well, you see the detail that, uh,
that they go into in this picture here.

425
00:25:43,386 --> 00:25:47,051
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
- It almost looks like
a tropical plant or something...

426
00:25:47,126 --> 00:25:49,061
- underwater... thing.
- Yeah. Yes.

427
00:25:49,129 --> 00:25:51,427
- Do you know what a clitoris is?
- Oh, my God.

428
00:25:51,498 --> 00:25:53,695
- Well, don't say, "Oh..."
- Yes, I know what a clitoris is.

429
00:25:53,769 --> 00:25:55,898
Oh, you do. Oh, I see. Yes, you do.
I forgot you've been there and back.

430
00:25:55,973 --> 00:25:57,908
- You know everything...
- I've learned about it in Sex Ed...

431
00:25:57,976 --> 00:26:00,947
- I really don't need you
to talk about clitoris.
- I'm trying to make this painless...

432
00:26:01,015 --> 00:26:03,678
- You know what?
I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry.
- No-no-no.

433
00:26:03,752 --> 00:26:07,190
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.

434
00:26:07,257 --> 00:26:09,226
I shouldn't
have got hot there.

435
00:26:09,294 --> 00:26:11,525
Well, you know what
I'm going to do, Jim.

436
00:26:11,597 --> 00:26:13,532
I'm going to just
leave these books here...

437
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:17,130
for you to, uh, peruse at your, uh...
at your leisure.

438
00:26:18,008 --> 00:26:21,172
Wait!

439
00:26:24,952 --> 00:26:27,114
Well, safer
than a tube sock.

440
00:26:29,192 --> 00:26:33,153
- Okay, that... That was good.
- Yeah.

441
00:26:34,701 --> 00:26:38,662
- See you at dinner.
- Uh, yeah. I'll see you at dinner.

442
00:26:38,048 --> 00:26:40,741
So, Finch,
this is your plan?

443
00:26:40,815 --> 00:26:44,248
You know, I don't think girls are
into the whole mini-golf thing.

444
00:26:44,315 --> 00:26:46,372
Kevin, I'm sure
that they're not.

445
00:26:46,448 --> 00:26:50,141
Actually, there is one small matter that
I need to ask for your cooperation in.

446
00:26:50,215 --> 00:26:53,239
- In the spirit of this
whole pact, you know?
- Sure, what do you need?

447
00:26:53,316 --> 00:26:56,510
Whatever you hear about me, you agree.
And tell all the boys the same thing.

448
00:26:56,583 --> 00:27:00,447
Look, I gotta go.
Sixteen minutes round-trip.

449
00:27:00,516 --> 00:27:03,311
You know, Finch,
it's... it's senior year.

450
00:27:03,383 --> 00:27:05,746
I mean, don't you think it's time you
learned how to take a dump at school?

451
00:27:05,816 --> 00:27:09,146
When was the last time you looked
at the facilities in this school?

452
00:27:15,551 --> 00:27:18,278
Excuse me.

453
00:27:18,350 --> 00:27:20,838
Uh, that's
Paul Finch, right?

454
00:27:20,917 --> 00:27:23,678
- Yeah.
- Well, you've seen him
in the locker room, right?

455
00:27:23,750 --> 00:27:28,808
- Uh, yeah.
- So, my friends, they want
to know. Is it true?

456
00:27:28,883 --> 00:27:31,646
You know,
that he's... equipped.

457
00:27:31,717 --> 00:27:35,843
I have no idea. Finch showers
with his bathing suit on.

458
00:27:35,918 --> 00:27:38,350
I mean, uh...

459
00:27:38,418 --> 00:27:41,679
As a matter of fact, it is true.
The guy's huge!

460
00:27:41,751 --> 00:27:44,842
- Does he have a date for the prom yet?
- No, definitely not.

461
00:27:44,918 --> 00:27:46,975
All right. Thanks.

462
00:27:48,351 --> 00:27:50,715
Oh, man!

463
00:27:50,885 --> 00:27:55,943
So I was thinking maybe you could
give me some advice, brother to brother.

464
00:27:56,019 --> 00:27:58,678
I thought you might know a trick
or somethin' to make her...

465
00:27:58,752 --> 00:28:03,185
- Orgasm?
- Yeah.
- What's good here?

466
00:28:03,252 --> 00:28:05,548
- Try the spicy tuna hand roll.
- What?

467
00:28:05,619 --> 00:28:09,416
- How do you do that?
- Hey, never mind that.
Listen, pay attention.

468
00:28:09,487 --> 00:28:12,748
Is that all that you're interested in,
tryin' to get your girl into bed?

469
00:28:12,820 --> 00:28:16,082
No, it'd be good to be able
to, you know, return the favor.

470
00:28:16,153 --> 00:28:18,585
Be nice to know she enjoys
things as much as I do.

471
00:28:18,653 --> 00:28:21,915
See that? That's good. That's what
I wanted to hear. Now, you qualify.

472
00:28:21,986 --> 00:28:28,477
- Qualify for what?
- My man, you've
just inherited the Bible.

473
00:28:28,521 --> 00:28:31,009
It originally started
as a sex manual,

474
00:28:31,054 --> 00:28:34,509
this book that some guys
brought back from Amsterdam.

475
00:28:34,588 --> 00:28:37,179
And each year it got passed on to one
East student who was worthy.

476
00:28:37,254 --> 00:28:41,448
Now, it's full of all sorts of stuff
that guys have added over the years.

477
00:28:43,854 --> 00:28:49,117
But you have to keep it a secret
and return it at the end of the year.

478
00:28:49,189 --> 00:28:53,212
All right.
So now you know. Good luck.

479
00:28:59,588 --> 00:29:01,816
- # If you believe in magic #
- # Ooh, magic #

480
00:29:01,888 --> 00:29:07,049
# Don't you bother to choose if it's
jug band music or rhythm and blues #

481
00:29:07,123 --> 00:29:10,453
# Just go and listen
It will start with a smile #

482
00:29:10,523 --> 00:29:14,285
# That won't wipe off your face
no matter how hard you try #

483
00:29:14,356 --> 00:29:19,913
# Your feet start tappin' and you can't
seem to find how you got there #

484
00:29:19,989 --> 00:29:22,682
# Do you believe in magic ##

485
00:29:22,756 --> 00:29:27,746
# Scooby-dooby doo bah scoo-scooby-dooby
dooby-dooby doo bah #

486
00:29:27,824 --> 00:29:30,086
# Yeah, magic ##

487
00:29:30,157 --> 00:29:32,487
What was that?

488
00:29:32,557 --> 00:29:35,115
- Uh, sorry.
- No, it was good.

489
00:29:37,557 --> 00:29:40,990
Well, it, uh...
It came from the heart.

490
00:29:41,057 --> 00:29:45,013
Well, keep it coming.
All right, people, good work!

491
00:29:45,091 --> 00:29:47,750
Now, don't forget. The state
competition's a couple of weeks away,

492
00:29:47,825 --> 00:29:50,985
so keep on it, okay?

493
00:30:00,825 --> 00:30:03,486
Not bad, Chris.

494
00:30:03,559 --> 00:30:05,821
Really?

495
00:30:06,892 --> 00:30:09,256
Thanks, uh,
Heather, right?

496
00:30:09,326 --> 00:30:11,258
Yeah.

497
00:30:11,326 --> 00:30:13,848
So, you've got this sort of
Frank Sinatra thing going on.

498
00:30:13,926 --> 00:30:18,585
Right. I feel like I've
discovered this whole new side of me.

499
00:30:18,659 --> 00:30:21,149
I mean, uh,
music is so expressive.

500
00:30:21,227 --> 00:30:24,886
Okay.
I mean, I agree, but...

501
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,017
aren't you supposed to be out,
like, trying to decapitate someone...

502
00:30:28,093 --> 00:30:32,082
- with your lacrosse stick or something?
- Oh, sure. Sure.

503
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:34,251
You know, I know what
people think. It's like,

504
00:30:34,327 --> 00:30:37,384
"Oz, he's just this
kick-ass lacrosse player."

505
00:30:37,460 --> 00:30:40,154
You know, I also play football,
by the way, but that's, like,

506
00:30:40,228 --> 00:30:43,591
- that's not all that I am, you know?
- Of course, I didn't...

507
00:30:43,661 --> 00:30:47,616
I mean, it really bothers me when
people try to pigeonhole me like that.

508
00:30:47,694 --> 00:30:49,660
You?

509
00:30:49,727 --> 00:30:52,591
You think
I don't get that?

510
00:30:52,661 --> 00:30:56,025
God, it's like just because I don't
get drunk and barf every weekend...

511
00:30:56,094 --> 00:31:00,357
that people say, "Oh, look. There's
this Goody Two-Shoes choirgirl priss."

512
00:31:00,429 --> 00:31:04,758
Yeah. So, like,
what else do you do?

513
00:31:04,829 --> 00:31:08,159
Well,
the same things you do,

514
00:31:08,229 --> 00:31:11,195
like hang out
with friends and stuff.

515
00:31:11,262 --> 00:31:13,693
- Why? What do you think I do?
- Oh, I...

516
00:31:13,762 --> 00:31:16,751
I just realized that I don't
know anything about you.

517
00:31:16,829 --> 00:31:21,990
- I was interested.
- Oh, well, what do you want to know?

518
00:31:22,063 --> 00:31:24,927
You know,
stuff... about you.

519
00:31:27,397 --> 00:31:29,828
All right.

520
00:31:29,896 --> 00:31:34,386
Mom, I'm home!

521
00:32:30,499 --> 00:32:32,988
Oh, yeah. Oh!

522
00:32:36,234 --> 00:32:40,859
- Jim!
- It's not what it looks like.

523
00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:49,595
Well, we'll just tell your
mother that, uh... that, uh...

524
00:32:50,500 --> 00:32:52,978
we ate it all.

525
00:33:32,003 --> 00:33:34,400
Goal by number eight, Chris Ostreicher.

526
00:33:38,336 --> 00:33:40,359
- Nice game.
- Nice game. Good game.

527
00:33:44,170 --> 00:33:47,136
Hey, what are
you doin' here?

528
00:33:47,204 --> 00:33:50,637
Just enjoying my first exhilarating
lacrosse experience.

529
00:33:50,704 --> 00:33:53,262
- You kicked butt.
- Oh, thanks.

530
00:33:53,337 --> 00:33:56,326
- Um, Chris...
- Oh, you can call me Oz, if you want.

531
00:33:56,404 --> 00:33:58,768
- Do I have to?
- You can call me Ostreicher.

532
00:33:58,838 --> 00:34:00,997
- What's your middle name?
- Nah, forget it.

533
00:34:01,071 --> 00:34:04,628
- Come on. I won't tell anyone.
- Well, neither will I.

534
00:34:04,704 --> 00:34:08,330
Okay. Um.

535
00:34:08,405 --> 00:34:11,929
So, I had this thought and...

536
00:34:12,005 --> 00:34:14,267
It may seem like
it's way out of left field.

537
00:34:14,338 --> 00:34:18,930
I don't know if you can,
but since I'm not going with
anybody, I thought that maybe...

538
00:34:19,005 --> 00:34:21,664
Those guys sucked ass!

539
00:34:21,738 --> 00:34:23,931
Choir chick, what the hell
are you doing here?

540
00:34:24,005 --> 00:34:28,768
Well, uh, I was
asking Chris to prom.

541
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:30,829
So, do you
want to go?

542
00:34:30,906 --> 00:34:34,360
Oh, yeah!
That would be great.

543
00:34:34,439 --> 00:34:37,701
Well, just don't
expect Oz to pay for the limo!

544
00:34:37,773 --> 00:34:40,830
Stifler, fuck!
I mean...

545
00:34:40,906 --> 00:34:45,395
Why do you got to be so
insensitive all the time?

546
00:34:45,472 --> 00:34:48,803
What?

547
00:34:48,874 --> 00:34:52,271
Whatever. Look, uh, don't forget.
My cottage after prom.

548
00:34:52,340 --> 00:34:54,772
On Lake Michigan.

549
00:34:54,841 --> 00:34:57,329
Hey, wait up, you pussies.
Where you goin'?

550
00:34:57,407 --> 00:35:02,772
Ah, well, I gotta...
I gotta hit the showers now,

551
00:35:02,841 --> 00:35:06,172
but I think this is gonna
be really, really good.

552
00:35:06,241 --> 00:35:10,174
- Yeah. Me too.
- All right.

553
00:35:10,241 --> 00:35:13,037
- Bye.
- Bye. Bye.

554
00:35:17,741 --> 00:35:21,901
- 'Appenin' Oz!
- Working with the choir chick?

555
00:35:21,975 --> 00:35:25,567
What d'ya say, fellas? I just dig
those cute little sweaters she wears.

556
00:35:25,642 --> 00:35:29,870
Nuts you do, you little horn dog.

557
00:35:29,943 --> 00:35:32,500
Yeah!
Yeah, baby!

558
00:35:32,576 --> 00:35:36,599
Spank me! Spank me!
Hit that high "C."

559
00:35:36,676 --> 00:35:38,642
# Ahhhh #

560
00:35:41,976 --> 00:35:44,170
Come on!
What's goin' on here?

561
00:35:49,110 --> 00:35:51,974
I was being selfish
and majorly insensitive.

562
00:35:52,044 --> 00:35:54,942
I'm a... I'm a total idiot.
I mean, a fool, a buffoon.

563
00:35:55,010 --> 00:35:57,532
I think shithead
really says it.

564
00:35:57,610 --> 00:35:59,824
You know what? You're right.
I'm a shithead, and
I want to make it up to you.

565
00:35:59,859 --> 00:36:02,039
You know what? You're right.
I'm a shithead, and
I want to make it up to you.

566
00:36:02,078 --> 00:36:03,592
Oh, yeah? How?

567
00:36:03,627 --> 00:36:05,107
Oh, yeah? How?

568
00:36:05,378 --> 00:36:08,144
# Don't make me #

569
00:36:08,211 --> 00:36:10,871
- # Over #
- Vicky. Your parents are downstairs.

570
00:36:10,945 --> 00:36:14,172
- Kevin, don't stop!
- Just a second.

571
00:36:14,244 --> 00:36:17,176
# I'm rockin' steady #

572
00:36:17,244 --> 00:36:20,075
# In demonology #

573
00:36:20,145 --> 00:36:25,407
# Hey so that you could make it #

574
00:36:28,112 --> 00:36:32,305
- # You're really makin' it ##
- Hon, can you tell Vic
to come on down for supper?

575
00:36:32,378 --> 00:36:38,208
- Holy shit!
- Shh. You know there's
no lock on your door?

576
00:36:43,746 --> 00:36:46,906
Ohh! I'm coming!
I'm coming!

577
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,541
- Oh, Jim!
- Dad.

578
00:36:53,613 --> 00:36:56,909
Hi, I was just looking
at the old family portrait out here.

579
00:36:56,980 --> 00:36:59,640
Well, that was
a fun day wasn't it?

580
00:36:59,714 --> 00:37:02,146
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

581
00:37:02,214 --> 00:37:06,509
Jim, I want to talk
about masturbation.

582
00:37:06,780 --> 00:37:11,042
Now, I just want you to know that
it's-it's a perfectly normal, uh, thing.

583
00:37:11,114 --> 00:37:13,273
And I have
to admit, uh, you know.

584
00:37:13,348 --> 00:37:17,804
I did a fair bit of masturbating
when I was a little younger.

585
00:37:17,881 --> 00:37:22,007
- I, uh... I used to call it
"stroking the salami."

586
00:37:22,082 --> 00:37:24,707
Yeah, you know,
"pounding the ol' pud."

587
00:37:24,781 --> 00:37:27,441
I never did it
with baked goods.

588
00:37:27,514 --> 00:37:31,970
But you know your Uncle Mort?
He "pinched the one-eyed snake"
five, six times a day.

589
00:37:32,048 --> 00:37:36,242
See, it's like, uh,
practice for the big game.

590
00:37:36,315 --> 00:37:39,441
You see?
It's like... It's like...

591
00:37:39,515 --> 00:37:42,414
banging a tennis ball
against a brick wall.

592
00:37:42,483 --> 00:37:46,438
Which can be fun.
It can be fun, but it's not a game.

593
00:37:46,515 --> 00:37:49,346
- Right. No.
- It's not a game.

594
00:37:49,416 --> 00:37:52,848
What you want is you want
a partner to return the ball.

595
00:37:52,916 --> 00:37:56,474
- Do you want a partner?
- Yeah. Yeah-Yeah, I want a partner.

596
00:37:56,550 --> 00:37:58,449
- You do want a partner?
- Oh, I want a partner.

597
00:37:58,516 --> 00:38:02,539
- Want a partner. Good. Good.
- Of course.

598
00:38:02,617 --> 00:38:04,515
Good.

599
00:38:04,583 --> 00:38:09,073
So, once Hal becomes king,
he has to take on...

600
00:38:09,150 --> 00:38:11,513
the responsibilities of leadership
and turn his back...

601
00:38:11,583 --> 00:38:13,879
on his old,
drunken friend, Falstaff.

602
00:38:13,950 --> 00:38:18,645
You see, Hal is going through a...
rite of passage, much like you all are.

603
00:38:18,718 --> 00:38:22,582
So make most of the time you've got
left together. You'll miss it later.

604
00:38:22,651 --> 00:38:25,277
So, does your tongue cramp up?

605
00:38:25,352 --> 00:38:29,443
Nah. You get kind of dizzy, though.

606
00:38:29,517 --> 00:38:33,416
That's amazing. She's probably
gonna want to do it soon.

607
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:38,651
All right. Class dismissed.

608
00:38:41,119 --> 00:38:45,710
Still questing after the Holy Grail,
huh, guys?

609
00:38:49,152 --> 00:38:51,141
Hey, uh,
where's Finch?

610
00:38:51,219 --> 00:38:53,277
Oh, he went home to take a shit.

611
00:38:53,354 --> 00:38:55,320
I don't get it.
I just don't.

612
00:38:55,387 --> 00:38:58,217
How does a guy like that
get this sudden reputation?

613
00:38:58,287 --> 00:39:01,719
- What reputation?
- Observe.

614
00:39:01,786 --> 00:39:05,775
Ex-Excuse me.
Do you know who Paul Finch is?

615
00:39:05,853 --> 00:39:09,217
Yeah! He's the guy
with the tattoo, right?

616
00:39:09,287 --> 00:39:15,050
- You know, the eagle and the
blazing fire and that stuff.

617
00:39:15,121 --> 00:39:18,883
Well, um, if you guys see him later,
will you tell him Courtney says hi?

618
00:39:18,954 --> 00:39:21,386
Bye.

619
00:39:21,454 --> 00:39:25,477
Okay. Explain.

620
00:39:25,554 --> 00:39:28,486
I can't. I don't
know how he's doing it.

621
00:39:28,554 --> 00:39:31,851
I, uh... I guess that
just leaves Jim trailing.

622
00:39:31,922 --> 00:39:34,115
- Aw, Jimbo!
- Better sack up, buddy!

623
00:39:34,189 --> 00:39:36,314
Yeah, I know.
I'm working on it, all right?

624
00:39:36,388 --> 00:39:38,513
James?

625
00:39:38,588 --> 00:39:40,554
You are very good
in the world history class, yes?

626
00:39:40,622 --> 00:39:44,714
Me? Y-Yes. No, uh...

627
00:39:44,788 --> 00:39:48,221
- Yes, I am.
- Perhaps you could help
me with my studies.

628
00:39:48,289 --> 00:39:50,448
Uh, yeah. Absolutely.

629
00:39:50,522 --> 00:39:52,545
Tha-Tha-Tha... That would be...
That would be great sometime.

630
00:39:52,623 --> 00:39:57,181
- How about tomorrow?
- Well, I have ballet practice.

631
00:39:57,257 --> 00:40:00,416
Perhaps I could come
by your house afterwards?

632
00:40:00,489 --> 00:40:02,751
I could change
clothes at your place.

633
00:40:04,356 --> 00:40:08,119
Oh. Uh... yeah.

634
00:40:08,190 --> 00:40:12,180
I suppose that
would be okay. Sure.

635
00:40:17,890 --> 00:40:22,686
Nice car!

636
00:40:22,757 --> 00:40:25,189
- I'm glad you think so.
- You don't like it?

637
00:40:25,258 --> 00:40:28,622
No, I like the car.
By the way, though, about prom?

638
00:40:28,691 --> 00:40:31,657
That was a bad idea.
I'm sorry I invited you.

639
00:40:31,725 --> 00:40:34,714
- What are you talkin' about?
- Please.

640
00:40:34,791 --> 00:40:38,348
I asked you because I thought you might
actually be worth going with.

641
00:40:38,424 --> 00:40:42,084
But you are just a jock.
No, wait. You're a jerk.

642
00:40:42,158 --> 00:40:45,090
Wait!
I don't understand.

643
00:40:45,158 --> 00:40:48,488
I saw you making fun of me
with your lacrosse buddies.

644
00:40:48,559 --> 00:40:50,718
Heather, I wasn't
makin' fun of you.

645
00:40:50,792 --> 00:40:53,349
Gimme a break.
You're so full of it.

646
00:40:56,559 --> 00:41:01,651
Fuck me! There's gonna be an Eastern
European chick naked in your house.

647
00:41:01,726 --> 00:41:03,851
And you're not gonna
do anything about that?

648
00:41:03,926 --> 00:41:07,723
What am I gonna do, huh?
Broadcast her over the Internet?

649
00:41:07,793 --> 00:41:11,248
- Yeah.
- You can do that?

650
00:41:15,194 --> 00:41:18,819
No. I cannot do that to her.

651
00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:22,290
Jim, get some fuckin' balls.

652
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:27,158
If you don't have the guts
to photograph a naked chick,
how you gonna sleep with one?

653
00:41:27,228 --> 00:41:29,887
I don't like the kid,
but he's got a point.

654
00:41:29,961 --> 00:41:33,189
See, even shit-brick
knows you should do it.

655
00:41:33,262 --> 00:41:36,785
All you gotta do is set up some sort of
private link or whatever on the 'Net...

656
00:41:36,861 --> 00:41:38,850
and tell me the address.

657
00:41:38,928 --> 00:41:41,723
You can send me
the address too.

658
00:41:41,794 --> 00:41:44,727
I'll save
you a seat.

659
00:41:44,795 --> 00:41:50,318
# How sweet it is
to be loved by you, by you #

660
00:41:50,395 --> 00:41:54,953
- # I needed the shelter
of someone's arms #
- # Someone's arms #

661
00:41:55,029 --> 00:41:58,859
- # There you were #
- # You were, oh #

662
00:41:58,929 --> 00:42:03,453
# I needed someone
who understands my ups and downs #

663
00:42:03,529 --> 00:42:05,552
# There you were ##

664
00:42:05,630 --> 00:42:09,995
Okay, that was good, but
I want to thicken-up that solo.

665
00:42:10,063 --> 00:42:12,324
Michigan State is this Saturday,
and I want that part to smoke.

666
00:42:12,396 --> 00:42:14,658
Yeah, I know,
my timing's off.

667
00:42:14,730 --> 00:42:18,423
No, it's not that. I think it'll
work better as a duet with a tenor part.

668
00:42:18,496 --> 00:42:20,462
I'll do it.

669
00:42:21,797 --> 00:42:24,161
- Dick.
- I'll do it.

670
00:42:24,230 --> 00:42:26,492
Great.
See you tomorrow.

671
00:42:28,164 --> 00:42:30,595
Hmph.

672
00:42:33,330 --> 00:42:36,524
- Why are you doing this?
- 'Cause I want to.

673
00:42:36,597 --> 00:42:39,961
Yeah? Well,
you can't fake this.

674
00:42:40,032 --> 00:42:43,157
You better practice.

675
00:42:53,398 --> 00:42:55,489
Come in.

676
00:42:57,198 --> 00:43:01,791
Jim? There's a, uh...
a young lady here to see you.

677
00:43:01,866 --> 00:43:04,128
- Hey, Nadia.
- Hi, James. Ready to study?

678
00:43:04,199 --> 00:43:06,927
Oh, he's always ready to study.
He's a real bookworm, this kid.

679
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,488
- Dad.
- That means... He's not-not
one of those nerdy guys but...

680
00:43:10,566 --> 00:43:15,430
- Dad!
- Well, I'Il... I'll let
you two hit the books.

681
00:43:19,567 --> 00:43:22,590
You want a beer?

682
00:43:22,667 --> 00:43:26,463
- Oh, there we go.
- Come on, move!

683
00:43:26,533 --> 00:43:30,590
Steve! It's my computer!
And I wanna use it!

684
00:43:30,667 --> 00:43:32,656
Shut up!

685
00:43:32,734 --> 00:43:35,393
Oh, you need to...
You need to change, right?

686
00:43:35,467 --> 00:43:38,094
- Uhh, do you mind?
- No. N-No, not at all.

687
00:43:38,167 --> 00:43:42,032
Uh, please, you know.
Just go ahead and get un... get changed.

688
00:43:42,102 --> 00:43:45,499
I'll, uh... I'll
go downstairs and start studying up.

689
00:43:45,568 --> 00:43:47,397
- Yeah.
- Okay.

690
00:43:47,468 --> 00:43:50,195
- Oh...
- All right, there he goes.

691
00:43:50,268 --> 00:43:51,516
Now,
we're in business.

692
00:43:51,551 --> 00:43:52,765
Now,
we're in business.

693
00:43:54,835 --> 00:43:57,029
- Back in a sec.
- Jimmy, honey, wh...

694
00:44:08,535 --> 00:44:13,593
# He pauses shaving and he tells himself
that he is the bomb #

695
00:44:13,669 --> 00:44:18,103
# She has her curlers set, her credit
cards are paying the funds #

696
00:44:18,169 --> 00:44:21,624
- # He's not that old I've been told ##
- Ah, here she is.

697
00:44:23,336 --> 00:44:26,928
- Did I miss anything?
- No. You are just in time.

698
00:44:27,004 --> 00:44:30,436
- Oh. Ohh!
- This is incredible.

699
00:44:30,503 --> 00:44:33,230
Oh, my God!
This is too much.

700
00:44:33,303 --> 00:44:36,293
Oh, did you see?
Oh, there that goes. Oh, geez.

701
00:44:36,371 --> 00:44:38,735
God bless
the Internet.

702
00:44:38,804 --> 00:44:41,827
- Ai-yi-yi.
- Do it. Take it off.

703
00:44:41,904 --> 00:44:44,267
Oh, my God.

704
00:44:44,337 --> 00:44:47,065
Oh, thank you, God,
for this wonderful, wonderful day.

705
00:44:47,137 --> 00:44:51,365
- She takes her vitamins.
- # And it is way too unhealthy #

706
00:44:51,437 --> 00:44:53,734
# Often they've typically ##

707
00:44:53,805 --> 00:44:55,737
Stop hyperventilating.

708
00:45:00,772 --> 00:45:05,397
This is, like,
the coolest thing I've ever seen.

709
00:45:05,472 --> 00:45:08,802
I know.

710
00:45:08,872 --> 00:45:11,565
Can you believe... This is definitely
one of Stifler's best ideas ever.

711
00:45:13,139 --> 00:45:15,230
What is she...
She's touching my stuff.

712
00:45:15,306 --> 00:45:17,966
- Why is she touching my stuff?
- Man, let her touch.

713
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:21,199
- She's going through my stuff!
- Nadia can touch anything she wants.

714
00:45:27,506 --> 00:45:30,701
- Oh.
- Oh, no. Oh, no.

715
00:45:30,774 --> 00:45:33,262
- No, no.
- Oh, nice collection there, Jim.

716
00:45:33,307 --> 00:45:35,967
She's gonna leave.
She's definitely gonna...

717
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:38,700
She's getting comfortable.
She's not gonna leave.

718
00:45:38,774 --> 00:45:41,467
She reads
the articles.

719
00:45:54,341 --> 00:45:56,637
Is she?

720
00:45:56,708 --> 00:46:00,765
She's goin' downstairs.

721
00:46:09,442 --> 00:46:13,738
- Oh, my God!
- Jackpot, baby!

722
00:46:13,809 --> 00:46:17,104
- Can you believe this?
- Nadia, I would have never known.

723
00:46:17,175 --> 00:46:19,971
I have an announcement
that I would like to make.

724
00:46:20,042 --> 00:46:23,907
There is a gorgeous woman...
masturbating on my bed!

725
00:46:23,976 --> 00:46:29,409
- Thank you, Nadia!
- If you ever had a chance
with Nadia, this is it.

726
00:46:29,477 --> 00:46:34,000
- What am I
supposed to do, Kev?
- Seduce her.

727
00:46:34,076 --> 00:46:37,167
Wha... What the hell
would I say?

728
00:46:37,243 --> 00:46:40,607
Go over there and ask her
if she needs an extra hand.

729
00:46:40,677 --> 00:46:44,609
- That's stupid, Kev. I can't...
- That's not stupid! You're
stupid if you don't go!

730
00:46:44,677 --> 00:46:46,644
Come on!
Get over there!

731
00:46:46,711 --> 00:46:48,972
- Get goin', man. She's prime.
- Get out of here!

732
00:46:49,044 --> 00:46:52,374
- She's waitin' for you.
- Okay, all right. I'm goin'.

733
00:46:52,444 --> 00:46:54,467
- Go!
- Go!
- I'm goin'!

734
00:46:54,544 --> 00:46:56,476
- Go! Go! Go! Go!
- Oh, shit.

735
00:47:05,344 --> 00:47:09,004
# She's open
waiting for more #

736
00:47:09,078 --> 00:47:13,568
# And I know he's only
lookin' to score #

737
00:47:16,387 --> 00:47:18,319
- # Often they've typically #
- Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.

738
00:47:18,387 --> 00:47:21,978
# Been starved
for attention before ##

739
00:47:24,354 --> 00:47:27,150
Oh, boy. Oh, God.
Oh, crap. Oh, no.

740
00:47:27,222 --> 00:47:30,586
Hello?

741
00:47:30,655 --> 00:47:34,382
- Looks like Jim addressed
the e-mail wrong.
- What?

742
00:47:34,455 --> 00:47:37,717
It went out to every mailbox
in the East High directory.

743
00:47:37,788 --> 00:47:39,777
God, how juvenile.

744
00:47:39,855 --> 00:47:41,787
Hey, hey, hey, guys!

745
00:47:41,855 --> 00:47:46,380
- # Baby #
- Check this out! Oh, my God!

746
00:47:48,856 --> 00:47:50,981
Oh.

747
00:47:51,456 --> 00:47:56,252
Please, God,
let this be it.

748
00:47:56,322 --> 00:47:58,345
Please?

749
00:48:02,322 --> 00:48:06,949
S- Somebody's goin' in there.

750
00:48:08,390 --> 00:48:10,686
Here you go.
That's what you need to do.

751
00:48:10,757 --> 00:48:12,848
- That guy's in my trig class.
- Oh, no.

752
00:48:15,457 --> 00:48:18,946
- Looks like you could use an extra hand.
- Jim!

753
00:48:19,024 --> 00:48:21,923
- Well... Oh, God.
- Shame on you.

754
00:48:21,992 --> 00:48:24,184
Yeah, shame on me.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

755
00:48:24,258 --> 00:48:26,690
- Uh, you know, I'm just gonna go.
- Well,

756
00:48:26,758 --> 00:48:30,087
you have seen me.

757
00:48:30,157 --> 00:48:33,248
Now, it's
my turn to see you.

758
00:48:34,791 --> 00:48:37,823
Strip!

759
00:48:37,858 --> 00:48:40,290
- Strip?
- Slowly.

760
00:48:40,359 --> 00:48:44,519
Uh, you mean,
like, strip strip?

761
00:48:44,592 --> 00:48:47,717
For me.

762
00:48:47,793 --> 00:48:49,917
What is he
talkin' to her about?

763
00:48:49,992 --> 00:48:54,856
- Uh, no idea.
- Come on, Jim. People are
viewing. Get to business.

764
00:48:58,092 --> 00:49:00,616
Perfect!

765
00:49:00,693 --> 00:49:04,147
- Move, James! Move!
- Yeah, yeah. Move.

766
00:49:12,226 --> 00:49:14,818
Go, trig boy! It's yer birthday!

767
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:27,517
- No! No. No.
- Please, God.

768
00:49:27,594 --> 00:49:29,991
What's going on?

769
00:49:34,860 --> 00:49:37,952
- Yes!
- All right. Get in the mix!

770
00:49:38,028 --> 00:49:40,290
- See there.
- Oh, okay.

771
00:49:41,995 --> 00:49:47,428
- This is disgusting.
- What the fuck is this?

772
00:49:48,762 --> 00:49:51,091
Cut it out, man!

773
00:49:55,795 --> 00:49:57,887
Yeah.

774
00:50:09,730 --> 00:50:11,991
Freak.

775
00:50:16,230 --> 00:50:18,389
Did not just
take out that chair.

776
00:50:18,464 --> 00:50:22,453
- Yup, he took out the chair.
- More, more, you bad boy!

777
00:50:22,531 --> 00:50:26,554
Oh, yeah, I'm naughty. I'm naughty,
baby. Hyah!

778
00:50:26,631 --> 00:50:30,085
Ohh, God!

779
00:50:30,164 --> 00:50:33,289
# Calling your name #

780
00:50:33,364 --> 00:50:36,388
- # Calling your name #
- Now,

781
00:50:36,465 --> 00:50:38,862
come to me.

782
00:50:38,931 --> 00:50:41,557
Oh, yeah.

783
00:50:48,432 --> 00:50:50,455
- Here we go.
- He's in, man.

784
00:50:50,532 --> 00:50:52,361
- # Calling #
- This just got a hell of a lot better.

785
00:50:52,432 --> 00:50:56,456
- Be gentle.
- Okay.

786
00:50:58,166 --> 00:51:00,724
- # Calling your name #
- Uh...

787
00:51:00,799 --> 00:51:03,027
- # Calling #
- Oh.

788
00:51:03,099 --> 00:51:05,588
# Your name ##

789
00:51:05,666 --> 00:51:07,529
Jim?

790
00:51:07,599 --> 00:51:12,259
- Oh! Oh, no.
- Oh, no.

791
00:51:12,333 --> 00:51:15,458
- Oh. Ohh!
- Liftoff aborted.

792
00:51:15,534 --> 00:51:18,500
Houston, we have a problem.

793
00:51:18,567 --> 00:51:21,964
What happened? What did he do

794
00:51:22,033 --> 00:51:23,999
He blew it.

795
00:51:24,067 --> 00:51:26,499
I guess
I'll be going now.

796
00:51:26,567 --> 00:51:32,125
No, no, no, I'm... I'm not done, Nadia.
I've, uh... I've got reserves.

797
00:51:32,201 --> 00:51:34,962
Nadia, please, please.
I'm begging you.

798
00:51:35,034 --> 00:51:37,864
Well, I do like
your dirty magazines.

799
00:51:37,934 --> 00:51:43,265
You do? Okay. Well. Um.
Did-Did... Did you see this one?

800
00:51:43,334 --> 00:51:47,993
This here is your... is your more,
uh, exotic, risque magazine.

801
00:51:48,068 --> 00:51:50,058
- He's pullin' out the porn.
- He's desperate.

802
00:51:50,135 --> 00:51:52,067
Jim, just wait
till she leaves.

803
00:51:52,135 --> 00:51:54,726
Very arousing women.
They arouse me...

804
00:51:54,802 --> 00:51:56,768
They arouse me
very, very much.

805
00:51:56,835 --> 00:52:00,733
But, uh...
But not as arousing as you.

806
00:52:00,835 --> 00:52:04,767
- Oh, Jim!
- Oh, God!

807
00:52:09,270 --> 00:52:12,793
Yes!

808
00:52:12,869 --> 00:52:14,994
He's ruining daisy!
Whoo!

809
00:52:17,637 --> 00:52:22,126
So, uh, "shaved"
is the expression?

810
00:52:25,203 --> 00:52:27,135
Holy shit.

811
00:52:27,203 --> 00:52:30,398
- Holy shit!
- Holy shit!

812
00:52:30,471 --> 00:52:33,130
- H-H-Holy shit!
- Touch me, Jim.

813
00:52:35,604 --> 00:52:37,694
Here.

814
00:52:37,770 --> 00:52:41,168
Oh. Oh.

815
00:52:41,237 --> 00:52:43,668
- Again?
- Not again.

816
00:52:43,737 --> 00:52:46,966
- Not again, man!
- Is that possible?

817
00:52:47,038 --> 00:52:48,284
What a loser.

818
00:52:48,319 --> 00:52:49,530
What a loser.

819
00:52:53,138 --> 00:52:54,626
Hey!

820
00:53:15,806 --> 00:53:20,501
# I needed someone
to understand my ups and downs #

821
00:53:20,573 --> 00:53:23,766
# There you were #

822
00:53:23,839 --> 00:53:28,636
# With sweet love
and devotion #

823
00:53:28,706 --> 00:53:31,229
# Deeply touching
my emotion #

824
00:53:31,307 --> 00:53:35,898
# I just wanna stop
and thank you, baby ##

825
00:53:38,107 --> 00:53:40,539
- Hey, minute man!
- Shut up.

826
00:53:40,606 --> 00:53:42,539
You know... You know you're
supposed to be supportive.

827
00:53:42,606 --> 00:53:46,903
Hey, you think you still
got a chance with Nadia?

828
00:53:46,974 --> 00:53:50,134
No. Her sponsors here
saw the thing on the 'Net.

829
00:53:50,208 --> 00:53:52,140
I-I really don't
think they liked it.

830
00:53:52,208 --> 00:53:54,367
How do
you know that?

831
00:53:54,442 --> 00:53:56,499
She's already on a plane back home.

832
00:53:56,574 --> 00:53:58,563
Yeah.

833
00:53:58,641 --> 00:54:02,404
You know, guys? Maybe I'm just
not good with girls, period.

834
00:54:02,475 --> 00:54:05,999
No-no-no, really-really. Like... Like I
was born without that part of the brain.

835
00:54:06,076 --> 00:54:08,235
I mean, I can't
talk to girls.

836
00:54:08,309 --> 00:54:10,332
And when I do talk
to them, I screw it up.

837
00:54:10,409 --> 00:54:13,500
Yeah, well, come prom those excuses
aren't going to do you any good.

838
00:54:15,009 --> 00:54:18,964
And one time at band camp,

839
00:54:19,042 --> 00:54:21,235
we weren't supposed
to have pillow fights,

840
00:54:21,309 --> 00:54:24,367
but we had a pillow fight,
and it was so much fun.

841
00:54:24,444 --> 00:54:29,433
A- And this one time, we all
lost our music and we were
supposed to play this song,

842
00:54:29,510 --> 00:54:34,771
but we didn't know it, so we just made
it up and we kept playing and playing,

843
00:54:34,843 --> 00:54:38,798
and the conductor didn't know
what we were doing, and it was so funny.

844
00:54:38,876 --> 00:54:41,309
So, you're pissed about somethin', huh.

845
00:54:41,378 --> 00:54:43,310
You know what
I do when I'm angry?

846
00:54:43,378 --> 00:54:46,537
I just play some Bach on my flute.
It's so relaxing.

847
00:54:46,610 --> 00:54:49,804
- I learned to do that at band camp.
- Hold on, uh...

848
00:54:49,877 --> 00:54:53,241
You have no idea
why I'm angry?

849
00:54:53,311 --> 00:54:56,471
Is it because we have a test tomorrow?
Sometimes I get cranky...

850
00:54:56,544 --> 00:54:59,807
- when I know I have
a big test to study for.

851
00:54:59,878 --> 00:55:04,208
- Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much it.
- I thought so...

852
00:55:04,279 --> 00:55:06,972
- because this one time at band camp...
- W-What's your name?

853
00:55:07,045 --> 00:55:08,908
- Michelle.
- O-Okay.

854
00:55:08,978 --> 00:55:10,967
Michelle, um...

855
00:55:11,045 --> 00:55:13,840
Do you want to be
my date for the prom?

856
00:55:13,912 --> 00:55:17,310
Really? You seriously
want to go with me?

857
00:55:20,879 --> 00:55:24,004
Yes. Seriously.

858
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:27,671
Are we going to Steve Stifler's
party afterwards?
Because that would be so cool.

859
00:55:27,746 --> 00:55:33,077
- Sure, whatever you want.
- Cool! We're gonna have
such a good time.

860
00:55:33,146 --> 00:55:38,307
It'll be like this one time at band camp
when we all had a campfire...

861
00:55:53,014 --> 00:55:56,105
Hi.

862
00:55:56,181 --> 00:55:59,807
- How'd you know I was here?
- Stifler told me.

863
00:55:59,881 --> 00:56:03,279
- Talked to Stifler?
- Well, I needed to find you.

864
00:56:03,348 --> 00:56:05,472
We're gonna have
to work on that song.

865
00:56:06,681 --> 00:56:09,613
Okay.
I'm glad you came by.

866
00:56:09,681 --> 00:56:11,909
So you work nights?

867
00:56:14,215 --> 00:56:17,046
- My dad's the manager.
- Really?

868
00:56:17,116 --> 00:56:20,173
Cool. Tell him
the subs are great.

869
00:56:22,249 --> 00:56:25,147
- So you're going to Michigan next year?
- Yeah.

870
00:56:25,216 --> 00:56:27,943
My parents want me to go
to Northwestern, but...

871
00:56:28,016 --> 00:56:30,880
I don't wanna write all those
extra essays they make you do.

872
00:56:30,949 --> 00:56:36,746
I mean, how am I supposed to
know what my "most emotionally
significant moment" was?

873
00:56:36,817 --> 00:56:41,375
So when my "U" of "M" acceptance came in
December, I just said the hell with it.

874
00:56:41,450 --> 00:56:43,473
- Onions?
- What?

875
00:56:43,550 --> 00:56:46,073
You, uh, want onions?

876
00:56:46,150 --> 00:56:48,082
Oh, no, thank you.

877
00:56:50,850 --> 00:56:53,442
So what are you
gonna major in?

878
00:56:53,517 --> 00:56:57,574
State's got a good business
school, and I could probably
walk-on to the lacrosse team.

879
00:56:57,651 --> 00:57:01,549
Well, you've probably got it
pretty figured out, then, huh?

880
00:57:01,617 --> 00:57:05,243
I mean, business is okay,
and lacrosse is awesome, but...

881
00:57:05,318 --> 00:57:08,408
what am I gonna be,
a professional lacrosse player?

882
00:57:08,484 --> 00:57:10,416
I really have no idea.

883
00:57:10,484 --> 00:57:13,815
Thank God.
I thought I was the only one.

884
00:57:13,885 --> 00:57:15,817
Well, you're not.

885
00:57:17,286 --> 00:57:19,309
So we're gonna be
close next year.

886
00:57:27,286 --> 00:57:29,218
You mean East Lansing
and Ann Arbor?

887
00:57:29,286 --> 00:57:32,616
Yeah.

888
00:57:32,719 --> 00:57:34,617
What are you
talkin' about?

889
00:57:34,686 --> 00:57:38,709
I can't go to the prom with you.
I'm holding out for someone else.

890
00:57:38,786 --> 00:57:40,979
You gotta be fuckin' kidding me.

891
00:57:41,053 --> 00:57:45,417
I know it's a long shot, but I figure
Paul Finch might ask me.

892
00:57:45,486 --> 00:57:49,509
Finch.
Shit-brick.

893
00:57:49,586 --> 00:57:52,281
Oh, gosh.
I-I forgot.

894
00:57:52,353 --> 00:57:54,785
You look okay.

895
00:57:54,854 --> 00:57:58,309
I-I mean, the scars
healed really well.

896
00:57:58,387 --> 00:58:00,320
- Hey, Stifler.
- Eat shit.

897
00:58:03,154 --> 00:58:05,120
What was that
all about?

898
00:58:05,188 --> 00:58:09,587
- He's still embarrassed
because Finch kicked his ass.
- Who told you that?

899
00:58:09,655 --> 00:58:11,814
What do you mean,
"no comment"?

900
00:58:11,888 --> 00:58:14,945
- Did you two hook up or something?
- What, are you kidding? No.

901
00:58:15,022 --> 00:58:18,579
Then how did all this
get started?

902
00:58:18,655 --> 00:58:21,883
Well, I guess it's all right
for me to tell you now.

903
00:58:21,955 --> 00:58:25,149
That reputation of his isn't
going anywhere. Cheese, please.

904
00:58:25,222 --> 00:58:28,189
Finch comes up to me
and says, "Jessica,

905
00:58:28,256 --> 00:58:30,881
I need your help with this,
blah, blah, etcetera."

906
00:58:30,956 --> 00:58:33,319
So I said, "All right.
Pay me 200 bucks,

907
00:58:33,389 --> 00:58:36,254
and I'll tell a couple of girls
that you're dynamite in bed."

908
00:58:36,322 --> 00:58:39,084
So he did,
and I did.

909
00:58:39,156 --> 00:58:41,247
- That actually works?
- Well, duh! Of course.

910
00:58:41,322 --> 00:58:43,811
Naturally, I embellished
a little bit.

911
00:58:43,856 --> 00:58:46,378
Did you hear that Finch had
an affair with an older woman?

912
00:58:46,456 --> 00:58:48,389
No, I didn't hear that one.

913
00:58:48,457 --> 00:58:51,049
That one was my favorite.

914
00:58:51,124 --> 00:58:53,113
Do that cheerleader.

915
00:58:53,191 --> 00:58:56,714
- # Thank you, baby #
- She wants me. She calls me up...

916
00:58:56,790 --> 00:59:01,246
# How sweet it is
to be loved by you ##

917
00:59:01,323 --> 00:59:04,448
Oh, my God,
you're gay!

918
00:59:04,523 --> 00:59:06,456
Sing it with me.
You know the words.

919
00:59:06,524 --> 00:59:09,752
No, thanks, man. You've been
singin' that shit all week.

920
00:59:09,825 --> 00:59:13,518
If you try that at M.S.U.
This Saturday, I'll kick your ass.

921
00:59:13,591 --> 00:59:15,580
Our last game
is this Saturday.

922
00:59:15,658 --> 00:59:17,783
Yeah, well, shit.

923
00:59:20,724 --> 00:59:24,781
I've got this lacrosse game. It's
really important. It's our last game.

924
00:59:24,858 --> 00:59:28,621
Central almost beat us last time, so
this time I really wanna kick their ass.

925
00:59:28,692 --> 00:59:31,419
But it's gonna be cool,
because the game's at State,

926
00:59:31,492 --> 00:59:34,050
which means afterwards
I'll be able to stop by.

927
00:59:34,126 --> 00:59:36,115
So you can't sing
at the competition.

928
00:59:36,193 --> 00:59:38,920
Heather, I'm sorry.
I totally blew it.

929
00:59:38,992 --> 00:59:43,720
It's okay. You should...
do what makes you happy.

930
00:59:45,326 --> 00:59:49,054
All right. Listen,
thanks for understanding.

931
00:59:49,127 --> 00:59:51,615
Yeah.

932
00:59:51,660 --> 00:59:54,717
So, uh, I guess
I'll see you later?

934
01:00:09,461 --> 01:00:12,655
Hey, Kevin.

935
01:00:12,727 --> 01:00:17,716
- You seen shit-brick lately?
- Why? What did you do to him?

936
01:00:17,794 --> 01:00:19,885
Me? Nothing.

937
01:00:19,961 --> 01:00:22,257
See, I'm the one
whose ass he kicked.

938
01:00:22,328 --> 01:00:25,783
But, uh, I'll tell you
one thing, though.

939
01:00:25,862 --> 01:00:29,090
I don't think he's gonna have a problem
shitting in school anymore.

940
01:00:29,162 --> 01:00:31,151
Slipped a little something
into his mochaccino.

941
01:00:33,628 --> 01:00:36,287
Oh, God!

942
01:00:37,361 --> 01:00:39,486
Oh! Oh!

943
01:00:45,696 --> 01:00:47,992
Jesus.

944
01:00:48,063 --> 01:00:50,585
Right this way,
sir.

945
01:00:56,030 --> 01:00:59,895
Oh, God.

946
01:01:27,698 --> 01:01:30,687
Oh, no.

947
01:01:31,065 --> 01:01:33,223
It's gonna be fun.

948
01:01:33,298 --> 01:01:35,856
You know it's just gonna be
some crappy band and stupid decorations.

949
01:01:35,932 --> 01:01:39,558
You're just saying
that because prom's a week away
and you don't have a date.

950
01:01:39,632 --> 01:01:42,121
No, no, no.
I don't want a date.

951
01:01:42,165 --> 01:01:46,655
Finch is goin' stag and... so am I.

952
01:01:46,732 --> 01:01:49,994
God, he's like so...
refined.

953
01:01:50,066 --> 01:01:53,225
- You think that
older woman thing is true?

954
01:01:53,299 --> 01:01:56,595
Yeah, it's true.
It was Stifler's mom.

955
01:01:58,667 --> 01:02:01,997
Joanie, was that you?

956
01:02:02,067 --> 01:02:04,362
- Oh!
- Can't hold it.

957
01:02:04,433 --> 01:02:07,456
Oh!

958
01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:13,491
Eww!

959
01:02:36,135 --> 01:02:40,397
Yeah!

960
01:02:40,469 --> 01:02:43,435
Kev?
I think we've come...

961
01:02:43,502 --> 01:02:47,093
- a really long way since homecoming.
- Yeah, we have.

962
01:02:47,168 --> 01:02:49,100
Maybe it's time...

963
01:02:49,168 --> 01:02:53,123
we start to express ourselves
in new ways.

964
01:02:53,202 --> 01:02:55,465
- Yeah.
- You wanna do it?

965
01:02:55,536 --> 01:02:58,331
- Yeah.
- I love you.

966
01:03:00,037 --> 01:03:02,662
It's your turn.

967
01:03:03,736 --> 01:03:06,167
That's not
what I was thinking.

968
01:03:06,236 --> 01:03:10,293
Sex. It's always
about sex.

969
01:03:10,369 --> 01:03:13,461
It's not
always about sex.

970
01:03:13,537 --> 01:03:16,594
I just thought it was
about sex this time.

971
01:03:19,971 --> 01:03:24,300
Look, Vicky, love is a term
that gets thrown around,

972
01:03:24,370 --> 01:03:26,336
and-and people
don't mean it.

973
01:03:26,404 --> 01:03:29,598
When I say it, I want it
to be more than words.

974
01:03:29,671 --> 01:03:32,399
- You know? I want it to be...
- Perfect.

975
01:03:34,505 --> 01:03:36,437
Exactly.

976
01:03:36,605 --> 01:03:39,332
- Okay, Albert.
You ready?
- No problemo.

977
01:03:40,672 --> 01:03:44,502
# I close my eyes
at night #

978
01:03:44,572 --> 01:03:46,902
Come on, Heather.
Work with me here.

979
01:03:52,406 --> 01:03:55,167
Goal, Ostreicher!

980
01:03:55,239 --> 01:03:58,933
- All right, Oz!
- Atta boy, Ozzie!

981
01:03:59,005 --> 01:04:00,938
Whoo!
Yeah, baby!

982
01:04:01,005 --> 01:04:03,631
- We're crushing you losers!
- Let's go, fellas!

983
01:04:03,706 --> 01:04:05,729
Come on!
Whoo-hoo!

984
01:04:07,539 --> 01:04:11,995
# Bumblebee, bumblebee,
bumblebee, bumblebee, bumblebee #

985
01:04:12,073 --> 01:04:14,096
Focus on the music.
Think melody.

986
01:04:14,173 --> 01:04:17,264
- Let the music be my guide.
- That would be a start.

987
01:04:28,140 --> 01:04:29,937
Who's the man?
Stifler!

988
01:04:33,241 --> 01:04:35,332
Huddle up, guys! Huddle up!

989
01:04:43,408 --> 01:04:46,841
Huddle up!
Come on! Okay.

990
01:04:46,908 --> 01:04:48,807
All right, all right!

991
01:04:48,876 --> 01:04:51,103
- Good hustle, guys.
- Good hustle.

992
01:04:51,175 --> 01:04:56,164
But you can still lose. You all saw
what happened to Oz out there.

993
01:04:56,242 --> 01:05:01,436
I don't want to ever see any of you
thinking you're gonna score.

994
01:05:01,509 --> 01:05:04,703
You don't score
until you score.

995
01:05:04,776 --> 01:05:07,265
- Until you score.
- That's right, baby!

996
01:05:07,343 --> 01:05:09,639
It all boils down
to today.

997
01:05:09,710 --> 01:05:13,574
For you seniors,
this marks the culmination...

998
01:05:13,643 --> 01:05:16,666
- of the past four years.
- Culmination.

999
01:05:16,743 --> 01:05:21,368
I want you to think about
what this means to you.

1000
01:05:21,443 --> 01:05:24,568
Do you guys wanna look back
on your days at East...

1001
01:05:24,643 --> 01:05:28,303
and know that you used
the time you had?

1002
01:05:28,377 --> 01:05:31,070
- Hell, yeah!
- You do!

1003
01:05:32,977 --> 01:05:36,341
- Ah! Good attitude, Ostreicher.
- Good luck, fellas.

1004
01:05:36,411 --> 01:05:39,899
Christ, I didn't tell ya
to leave the game.

1005
01:05:39,977 --> 01:05:41,943
I'm sorry, Coach.

1006
01:05:42,010 --> 01:05:45,000
You got someplace more important
to be, Ostreicher?

1007
01:05:45,078 --> 01:05:47,340
Yeah.

1008
01:05:47,412 --> 01:05:49,571
Ostreicher!

1009
01:05:50,512 --> 01:05:54,069
Oz?
Fuckface?

1010
01:05:54,145 --> 01:05:56,805
Ostreicher!

1011
01:06:22,046 --> 01:06:24,639
- Hey, Oz!
- Ozmeister!

1012
01:06:24,714 --> 01:06:26,680
- Oh, great.
- What about the game?

1013
01:06:26,747 --> 01:06:29,838
- I'm not playing.
- You're missing the game for us?

1014
01:06:29,913 --> 01:06:33,107
No, I'm missing the game
for you.

1015
01:06:36,514 --> 01:06:40,241
- D-Does this mean I'm not
gonna get to do the duet?
- Albert, you suck.

1016
01:06:45,415 --> 01:06:47,347
I don't think
he's comin' back.

1017
01:06:47,415 --> 01:06:49,574
# Close my eyes at night #

1018
01:06:49,648 --> 01:06:54,512
- # Close my eyes #
- # Wonderin' where would I be
without you in my life #

1019
01:06:54,582 --> 01:06:58,344
- # Oh #
- # Everything I did was just a bore #

1020
01:06:58,415 --> 01:07:03,348
- # Just a bore #
- # Everywhere I went
seems I been there before #

1021
01:07:03,416 --> 01:07:07,644
# But you brighten up
for me all of my days #

1022
01:07:07,716 --> 01:07:10,977
- # With a love so sweet #
- # In so many ways #

1023
01:07:11,049 --> 01:07:13,277
# I just wanna stop #

1024
01:07:13,349 --> 01:07:17,940
- # And thank you, baby #
- # I just wanna stop #

1025
01:07:18,015 --> 01:07:21,278
- # And thank you, baby #
- # Thank you, baby #

1026
01:07:21,350 --> 01:07:25,975
# How sweet it is
to be loved by you ##

1027
01:07:29,150 --> 01:07:31,480
Yeah, Oz!
You fuckin' rule!

1028
01:07:31,550 --> 01:07:34,175
- Fuckin' rule!
- Yeah!

1029
01:07:36,750 --> 01:07:39,046
Maybe the words
aren't that important.

1030
01:07:39,118 --> 01:07:41,346
It's like, I know he
really cares about me, you know?

1031
01:07:41,418 --> 01:07:43,509
Even if he can't
say it, he does.

1032
01:07:43,585 --> 01:07:47,517
And yeah, he always talks about sex, but
that's okay, 'cause he's a guy, right?

1033
01:07:47,585 --> 01:07:50,176
- He's got a dick. He's a guy.
- Right.

1034
01:07:50,251 --> 01:07:52,183
Wait. Is this
translation right?

1035
01:07:52,251 --> 01:07:55,217
"Go home, bird teacher.
I've had enough."

1036
01:07:55,284 --> 01:07:58,251
I don't know.
I got it from Kevin.

1037
01:07:58,319 --> 01:08:01,876
- So, does it hurt?
- What?

1038
01:08:01,952 --> 01:08:04,646
You know... sex.
Does it hurt?

1039
01:08:04,719 --> 01:08:09,117
Yeah. I mean, the first time you do it,
you know, it hurts.

1040
01:08:09,185 --> 01:08:13,345
But then you, you do it again
and again and again...

1041
01:08:13,419 --> 01:08:16,648
It just starts to feel good.
Really good.

1042
01:08:16,720 --> 01:08:19,743
Okay, so say
I don't do it.

1043
01:08:19,819 --> 01:08:24,582
And then I go off to college. I might
end up doing it with some random guy...

1044
01:08:24,653 --> 01:08:28,380
- who totally turns out to be a jerk.
- This is true.

1045
01:08:28,453 --> 01:08:31,146
And I'll wish I would've
done it with Kevin.

1046
01:08:31,220 --> 01:08:33,482
So go do it with Kevin.

1047
01:08:33,553 --> 01:08:36,611
- You think?
- Yeah. You're... You're ready.

1048
01:08:36,688 --> 01:08:41,017
- You're woman. Look at you.
You're ready for sex.
- You're right.

1049
01:08:41,087 --> 01:08:43,485
- I know.
- I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna have sex.

1050
01:08:43,554 --> 01:08:46,179
- Now.
- And it's gonna be right, and
it's gonna be just perfect.

1051
01:08:46,254 --> 01:08:48,379
- Perfect sex.
- Thanks, Jessica.

1052
01:08:48,554 --> 01:08:50,951
Please.

1053
01:08:51,020 --> 01:08:53,851
Kevin.

1054
01:08:53,921 --> 01:08:55,978
Kevin.

1055
01:08:57,555 --> 01:09:00,952
- I wanna have sex.
- Now?

1056
01:09:06,222 --> 01:09:08,279
Prom.

1057
01:09:10,489 --> 01:09:15,820
# As you walk up those steps
and garner your award #

1058
01:09:15,889 --> 01:09:19,878
# Try not to forget about me #

1059
01:09:19,956 --> 01:09:23,150
# 'Cause I was there when you
had no one else to hold #

1060
01:09:25,722 --> 01:09:29,052
# You used to look
just like a saint #

1061
01:09:29,123 --> 01:09:31,055
# And stumble into walls #

1062
01:09:31,123 --> 01:09:34,749
# You're a guy's
very own quarantine #

1063
01:09:34,823 --> 01:09:39,256
# You used to never
think you'd ever grow old ##

1064
01:09:49,857 --> 01:09:52,347
You must be excited
about the big night tonight.

1065
01:09:52,391 --> 01:09:54,550
Thrilled.

1066
01:09:54,625 --> 01:09:56,157
Who's the lucky girl?

1067
01:09:56,192 --> 01:09:57,689
Who's the lucky girl?

1068
01:09:57,757 --> 01:09:59,689
Michelle.

1069
01:09:59,757 --> 01:10:02,848
- Michelle.
- Yeah.

1070
01:10:02,924 --> 01:10:07,084
- She must be very special.
- Oh, she's special, all right.

1071
01:10:07,158 --> 01:10:10,148
I'm sure she is special if you
picked her out of the whole bunch.

1072
01:10:12,859 --> 01:10:15,621
Jim, I'm just gonna
say one thing...

1073
01:10:15,692 --> 01:10:17,625
before you leave
tonight.

1074
01:10:19,259 --> 01:10:23,521
I want you to be very,
very careful...

1075
01:10:23,593 --> 01:10:26,218
when you're
putting on...

1076
01:10:26,292 --> 01:10:28,918
the corsage.

1077
01:10:31,993 --> 01:10:33,925
Okay, Dad.

1078
01:10:33,993 --> 01:10:36,391
- Promise me.
- I promise.

1079
01:10:57,128 --> 01:11:00,651
# Midnight at the oasis #

1080
01:11:01,861 --> 01:11:05,021
# Send your camel to bed #

1081
01:11:07,229 --> 01:11:11,127
# Shadows painting our faces #

1082
01:11:11,195 --> 01:11:13,559
# Traces #

1083
01:11:13,628 --> 01:11:17,527
# Of romance in our heads #

1084
01:11:17,595 --> 01:11:20,891
# Heaven's holding a half-moon #

1085
01:11:22,761 --> 01:11:25,694
# Shining just for us #

1086
01:11:27,796 --> 01:11:31,751
# Let's slip off
to a sand dune #

1087
01:11:31,829 --> 01:11:34,022
# Real soon #

1088
01:11:34,096 --> 01:11:36,994
# And kick up a little dust #

1089
01:11:37,063 --> 01:11:42,052
# Come on
Cactus is our friend #

1090
01:11:42,130 --> 01:11:46,461
# He'll point out the way #

1091
01:11:46,531 --> 01:11:49,224
You know, at band camp
we have dances like this,

1092
01:11:49,297 --> 01:11:51,490
only they're way funner.

1093
01:11:52,563 --> 01:11:55,996
# Till the evenin' ends ##

1095
01:12:06,098 --> 01:12:09,360
All right, status check.
Where do you guys stand?

1096
01:12:09,432 --> 01:12:13,228
Finch, we know where you are,
but can't really use that as an excuse.

1097
01:12:13,298 --> 01:12:15,230
Jim?

1098
01:12:15,298 --> 01:12:19,559
Uh, my date's a flute-toting band dork.
Does that answer your question?

1099
01:12:19,631 --> 01:12:23,065
Oz, is this vocal-jazz shit
gonna pay off or what?

1100
01:12:23,133 --> 01:12:25,894
Kevin, what's with
the attitude?

1101
01:12:25,966 --> 01:12:28,898
Attitude? Me?

1102
01:12:28,966 --> 01:12:31,625
I think you guys should be
a little more enthusiastic.

1103
01:12:31,699 --> 01:12:34,188
This is the night
we've been waiting for.

1104
01:12:34,233 --> 01:12:36,358
We're in this together.
You guys can't back out.

1105
01:12:36,433 --> 01:12:40,092
Kev, you don't need us to get laid.
Are you afraid or something?

1106
01:12:40,166 --> 01:12:43,599
No. Come on.
We made a pact.

1107
01:12:43,666 --> 01:12:47,099
You can't break that.
You guys are gonna have to...

1108
01:12:47,167 --> 01:12:50,997
Have to what, Kev, huh?
I don't have to do shit.

1109
01:12:51,067 --> 01:12:54,465
Forget it already. I am so sick
and tired of all this bullshit pressure.

1110
01:12:54,533 --> 01:12:59,296
I've never even had sex, and already,
I can't stand it. I hate sex!

1111
01:12:59,367 --> 01:13:02,334
And I'm not gonna stand around here
busting my balls over something that,

1112
01:13:02,401 --> 01:13:04,764
quite frankly,
isn't that damn important.

1113
01:13:04,834 --> 01:13:06,925
I'm gonna go hang out
with that geek over there...

1114
01:13:07,001 --> 01:13:10,126
'cause at least she has something else
to talk about besides sex.

1115
01:13:10,201 --> 01:13:12,133
Goddamn.

1116
01:13:14,168 --> 01:13:16,861
Yeah.

1117
01:13:16,934 --> 01:13:20,299
You know, at least I learned
how to shit in school, buddy.

1118
01:13:20,369 --> 01:13:22,335
Hey, Finch.

1119
01:13:22,402 --> 01:13:25,129
- Wanna dance?
- Yeah.

1121
01:13:30,502 --> 01:13:33,935
- How come you have no date?
- I like to keep my options open.

1122
01:13:34,002 --> 01:13:35,934
I got something for you.

1123
01:13:37,835 --> 01:13:40,325
Consider it
a consolation prize.

1124
01:13:43,403 --> 01:13:46,335
Jessica, this is great!

1125
01:13:46,403 --> 01:13:50,767
- Felt sorta guilty
about taking your money.
- You spent $200 on this?

1126
01:13:50,836 --> 01:13:54,030
<i>No, I spent 50 on the flask,
150 on the earrings.</i>

1127
01:13:56,170 --> 01:13:58,103
- These are, uh...
- Let me just clarify...

1128
01:13:58,171 --> 01:14:02,603
- that you have no chance
of scoring with me, Finch.
- Of course not!

1129
01:14:02,670 --> 01:14:05,262
So I take it you and Sherman
are pretty close, huh?

1130
01:14:05,338 --> 01:14:07,327
You met at that party
a while back, right?

1131
01:14:07,404 --> 01:14:09,336
Yeah, we were
up all night together.

1132
01:14:09,404 --> 01:14:12,494
We had one of those
amazingly deep conversations...

1133
01:14:12,570 --> 01:14:15,559
where you feel like
you really get to know someone.

1134
01:14:15,637 --> 01:14:18,934
Deep conversation, huh?

1135
01:14:19,005 --> 01:14:21,233
Is that
what you call it?

1136
01:14:21,305 --> 01:14:23,271
What else
would I call it?

1137
01:14:30,105 --> 01:14:32,037
Thank you, Great Falls.

1138
01:14:32,105 --> 01:14:35,095
We're gonna take a little break.
You are beautiful.

1139
01:14:39,439 --> 01:14:41,372
You suck!

1140
01:14:44,273 --> 01:14:46,864
Excuse me, everyone.

1141
01:14:46,939 --> 01:14:49,098
Sorry to interrupt.

1142
01:14:49,173 --> 01:14:51,536
I just thought
you all should know this.

1143
01:14:51,606 --> 01:14:54,267
Chuck Sherman is a liar.

1144
01:14:54,341 --> 01:14:56,636
I never had sex with him.

1145
01:14:56,707 --> 01:15:01,106
He's never had sex with anyone.
I know this because he told me.

1146
01:15:01,174 --> 01:15:05,038
Once he tried to screw
a grapefruit, but that's all.

1147
01:15:05,107 --> 01:15:08,436
Oh. He also told me that when he gets
nervous, he sometimes wets his pants.

1148
01:15:08,507 --> 01:15:12,803
Thank you for your time.

1149
01:15:25,242 --> 01:15:28,503
- Guess what?
- Not interested.

1150
01:15:28,574 --> 01:15:32,871
Kevin. Come on, man. The bus
to Stifler's is gonna be here soon.

1151
01:15:32,942 --> 01:15:34,874
- I'm not going.
- What?

1152
01:15:34,942 --> 01:15:38,499
Why not?

1153
01:15:38,575 --> 01:15:43,337
Look, things didn't really
turn out how I wanted them to.

1154
01:15:43,408 --> 01:15:45,772
I mean, I don't even
know what I'm doin'.

1155
01:15:45,842 --> 01:15:49,240
I-I'm acting like I've got
everything together tonight.

1156
01:15:49,309 --> 01:15:53,003
I know that Vicky's gonna
ask me if I love her, and...

1157
01:15:53,077 --> 01:15:55,009
I don't know
what I'm gonna say.

1158
01:15:55,077 --> 01:15:57,043
I mean,
I'm on the brink.

1159
01:15:57,110 --> 01:16:00,701
I'm just about to do it.
I should be psyched.

1160
01:16:00,776 --> 01:16:04,868
I don't know. Maybe you're right.
Maybe I am just scared.

1161
01:16:04,943 --> 01:16:09,000
Come on, Kev.
Tonight is the night.

1162
01:16:09,077 --> 01:16:12,203
We-We are finally going
to a post-prom party on the lake.

1163
01:16:12,278 --> 01:16:14,607
We have been waiting for this
for four years.

1164
01:16:14,677 --> 01:16:17,768
Why else have we been friends
with Stifler all this time, right?

1165
01:16:18,744 --> 01:16:21,142
We were friends
with Stifler?

1166
01:16:21,211 --> 01:16:23,335
Hey, look.

1167
01:16:24,544 --> 01:16:27,272
Sherman didn't even
get laid.

1168
01:16:27,344 --> 01:16:30,073
- He didn't?
- No, he pissed himself.

1169
01:16:30,146 --> 01:16:32,304
What?

1170
01:16:33,979 --> 01:16:35,945
We'll tell you
on the bus.

1171
01:16:36,012 --> 01:16:39,172
I'm gonna go inside
and grab my bag.

1172
01:16:39,246 --> 01:16:41,768
My date too, perhaps?

1173
01:16:43,445 --> 01:16:45,604
Stifler's mom
got it in the divorce.

1174
01:16:45,678 --> 01:16:47,610
That reminds me
of this one time...

1175
01:16:47,678 --> 01:16:50,611
Hey, can I ask you
a question?

1176
01:16:50,679 --> 01:16:53,338
How come you don't have any stories?
I've got lots of them,

1177
01:16:53,412 --> 01:16:55,605
and you don't have any.

1178
01:16:55,679 --> 01:16:58,873
Oh, I've got stories.
Believe me. They're just, uh...

1179
01:16:58,946 --> 01:17:01,707
They're just a little
more risque than tales of band camp.

1180
01:17:01,779 --> 01:17:06,336
Are they gross or something?
Like guy stuff? Tell me!

1181
01:17:06,412 --> 01:17:08,345
Okay.
You want a story?

1182
01:17:08,413 --> 01:17:11,005
Here's a story.
Stifler finds this beer...

1183
01:17:14,181 --> 01:17:18,476
- This is
the nicest room in the house.
- Kev, it's perfect.

1184
01:17:29,281 --> 01:17:32,941
You guys are gonna fuck, aren't ya?

1185
01:17:33,015 --> 01:17:35,606
Fuckers!
Fuckers, fuckers!

1186
01:17:35,681 --> 01:17:37,943
Fuckers,
fuckers, fuckers!

1187
01:17:39,348 --> 01:17:41,940
- Out.
- Aw, come on!

1188
01:17:42,015 --> 01:17:44,446
- Get out.
- Aw, man!

1189
01:18:02,482 --> 01:18:04,506
There's something
I've been meaning to tell you, Heather.

1190
01:18:04,583 --> 01:18:06,913
What's that?

1191
01:18:06,984 --> 01:18:09,279
It's gonna sound
really bad, but, uh,

1192
01:18:09,350 --> 01:18:11,976
I want you to know.

1193
01:18:12,050 --> 01:18:14,743
You see, uh,

1194
01:18:14,817 --> 01:18:19,079
I'm a virgin,
and, uh...

1195
01:18:19,151 --> 01:18:21,810
Well, me, Kevin, Jim
and Finch were...

1196
01:18:21,884 --> 01:18:24,612
We all made this pact...

1197
01:18:24,684 --> 01:18:27,514
that we would
lose our virginity...

1198
01:18:27,584 --> 01:18:29,641
before high school
was over,

1199
01:18:29,718 --> 01:18:32,775
and tonight is supposed
to be the night that we all do it.

1200
01:18:34,784 --> 01:18:36,875
This isn't the best way
to proposition me.

1201
01:18:36,951 --> 01:18:39,746
No, that's...
That's not what I mean.

1202
01:18:39,818 --> 01:18:43,013
W- What I mean is, uh...

1203
01:18:43,086 --> 01:18:45,847
Look, do you know
what made me leave that game?

1204
01:18:45,919 --> 01:18:49,942
See, Coach, he was givin' us
this speech about...

1205
01:18:50,019 --> 01:18:52,712
not slacking off when you see
the opportunity to score...

1206
01:18:52,785 --> 01:18:54,842
This isn't any better,
Chris.

1207
01:18:54,919 --> 01:18:57,010
No, you see...
You see, Heather,

1208
01:18:57,086 --> 01:18:59,517
what I realized is that...

1209
01:18:59,585 --> 01:19:04,484
with you, it's...
not like I'm running towards a goal...

1210
01:19:04,553 --> 01:19:07,883
looking for
the best way to score.

1211
01:19:07,953 --> 01:19:11,441
This may sound
a little corny, but...

1212
01:19:11,520 --> 01:19:13,748
I feel like
I've already won.

1213
01:19:16,286 --> 01:19:20,686
And, uh,
I care about you a lot.

1214
01:19:21,888 --> 01:19:24,183
Oz, I know.

1215
01:19:25,387 --> 01:19:28,717
- You called me Oz.
- Well, yeah.

1216
01:19:28,787 --> 01:19:30,719
It's what your friends
call you.

1217
01:19:30,787 --> 01:19:33,810
I mean, I feel like I'm
one of your friends now.

1218
01:19:33,888 --> 01:19:37,650
And... your girlfriend?

1219
01:19:39,922 --> 01:19:44,445
# Ain't never thought that
I could love like this #

1220
01:19:44,522 --> 01:19:47,647
# This feeling inside me
is growing #

1221
01:19:47,722 --> 01:19:52,279
# I never thought that
you would care ##

1222
01:20:11,389 --> 01:20:13,321
Are ya lost?

1223
01:20:17,857 --> 01:20:20,721
You're Stifler's mom.
Uh...

1224
01:20:20,790 --> 01:20:23,517
No, no, not lost.
Just, um,

1225
01:20:23,590 --> 01:20:25,522
you know,
taking the tour.

1226
01:20:28,024 --> 01:20:32,285
Hey, uh, thank you for letting
us have this wonderful party.

1227
01:20:32,357 --> 01:20:34,789
As if there was
an alternative in the matter.

1228
01:20:39,758 --> 01:20:42,155
So, you enjoying yourself?

1229
01:20:42,224 --> 01:20:45,679
I'm... three sheets
to the wind, ma'am.

1230
01:20:45,758 --> 01:20:48,121
I'm so happy for you.

1231
01:20:48,191 --> 01:20:50,123
But it takes the edge off,
doesn't it?

1232
01:20:52,124 --> 01:20:55,387
- Where's your little date tonight?
- No date. It was...

1233
01:20:55,459 --> 01:20:57,857
It was a bathroom incident.

1234
01:20:57,926 --> 01:21:02,517
- Pardon me?
- Never mind.

1235
01:21:06,292 --> 01:21:08,690
You have
anything to drink?

1236
01:21:08,759 --> 01:21:10,691
I believe the kegs
are upstairs.

1237
01:21:11,993 --> 01:21:14,516
That is what
the cretins drink.

1238
01:21:14,593 --> 01:21:16,684
I'm talking about
alcohol, liquor.

1239
01:21:16,760 --> 01:21:19,726
- The good stuff.
- All right.

1240
01:21:21,360 --> 01:21:23,292
I got some scotch.

1241
01:21:23,360 --> 01:21:27,952
<i>- Single malt?
- Aged 18 years.</i>

1242
01:21:28,026 --> 01:21:29,959
The way I like it.

1243
01:21:33,728 --> 01:21:35,956
Why don't you go
grab a glass from the bar?

1244
01:21:38,361 --> 01:21:41,054
I think I should.

1245
01:21:41,127 --> 01:21:43,059
Allow me.

1246
01:21:44,694 --> 01:21:46,626
You know it's
a bitchin' party.

1247
01:21:46,694 --> 01:21:49,182
The Stif-man
always comes through in the clutch.

1248
01:21:52,662 --> 01:21:56,150
And then he just
puked his brains out.

1249
01:21:56,228 --> 01:21:59,126
- That is a nasty story.
- Yep, I told you.

1250
01:21:59,195 --> 01:22:01,354
Do you want to hear
a nasty story of mine?

1251
01:22:01,428 --> 01:22:03,485
It's sort of sexual.

1252
01:22:05,428 --> 01:22:07,985
Yeah!
Yeah, let's hear it.

1253
01:22:08,061 --> 01:22:12,859
Okay, well, this one time at band camp,
we were playing this game.

1254
01:22:12,930 --> 01:22:16,589
I don't know if you know it,
but it's called "Spin the Bottle."

1255
01:22:16,663 --> 01:22:20,527
And I had to kiss this guy
named Mark Wander on the lips.

1256
01:22:20,596 --> 01:22:22,528
And-And he plays
trombone...

1257
01:22:22,596 --> 01:22:25,027
So how do you
want to be?

1258
01:22:25,096 --> 01:22:28,062
Like... how do you
want to do it?

1259
01:22:29,330 --> 01:22:31,989
I don't know.
How do you?

1260
01:22:32,063 --> 01:22:36,826
Like... normal style.
The missionary position.

1261
01:22:38,531 --> 01:22:40,463
Okay.

1262
01:22:46,731 --> 01:22:48,857
Kev?

1263
01:22:48,931 --> 01:22:51,227
- Yeah?
- I wanna hear you say it.

1264
01:22:51,298 --> 01:22:53,730
Okay.

1265
01:22:56,632 --> 01:22:58,894
Victoria,

1266
01:22:58,964 --> 01:23:00,897
I love you.

1267
01:23:02,665 --> 01:23:05,358
I love you.

1268
01:23:16,766 --> 01:23:18,924
# Don't stray #

1269
01:23:18,999 --> 01:23:21,659
# Don't ever go away #

1270
01:23:21,733 --> 01:23:24,221
# I should be
much too smart for this #

1271
01:23:24,299 --> 01:23:26,789
# You know it gets
the better of me #

1272
01:23:26,867 --> 01:23:31,526
# Sometimes
when you and I collide #

1273
01:23:31,600 --> 01:23:33,828
- # I fall into an ocean of you #
- Oh. My hair.

1274
01:23:33,900 --> 01:23:36,264
# Pull me out in time #

1275
01:23:36,333 --> 01:23:38,196
# Don't let me drown #

1276
01:23:38,267 --> 01:23:40,790
# Let me down #

1277
01:23:40,867 --> 01:23:43,298
You okay?

1278
01:23:43,367 --> 01:23:47,300
Yeah. Go slow.

1279
01:23:47,368 --> 01:23:50,232
# Say you'll stay #

1280
01:23:50,301 --> 01:23:53,426
# Don't come and go #

1281
01:23:53,501 --> 01:23:55,490
# Like you do #

1282
01:23:57,468 --> 01:23:59,990
# Sway my way #

1283
01:24:00,067 --> 01:24:03,363
# Yeah, I need to know #

1284
01:24:03,434 --> 01:24:06,128
# All about you #

1285
01:24:07,435 --> 01:24:09,866
# Say you'll stay ##

1286
01:24:09,968 --> 01:24:12,900
So the end of the story
is you...

1287
01:24:12,968 --> 01:24:15,059
had to kiss the guy
for 20 seconds.

1288
01:24:15,135 --> 01:24:19,090
Yes! And he was such a dork.
Everyone laughed at me...

1289
01:24:19,169 --> 01:24:23,296
- but I didn't care
because it was so funny.
- I get it.

1290
01:24:23,370 --> 01:24:27,132
And this one time at band camp,
I stuck a flute in my pussy.

1292
01:24:29,403 --> 01:24:31,528
Excuse me?

1293
01:24:31,603 --> 01:24:34,330
What? You don't think I know
how to get myself off?

1294
01:24:34,403 --> 01:24:37,835
Hell, that's what
half of band camp is... Sex Ed.

1295
01:24:37,903 --> 01:24:41,028
So are we gonna screw soon,
'cause I'm gettin' kinda antsy.

1296
01:24:50,137 --> 01:24:52,330
This'll do. Whoo-hoo!

1297
01:24:53,837 --> 01:24:58,270
Ow!

1298
01:24:58,337 --> 01:25:00,565
Now, I have two rubbers.
Wear them both. It'll desensitize you.

1299
01:25:00,600 --> 01:25:02,795
Now, I have two rubbers.
Wear them both. It'll desensitize you.

1300
01:25:02,838 --> 01:25:05,327
I don't want you coming
so damn early this time.

1301
01:25:07,572 --> 01:25:09,901
What makes you think
that I would come early?

1302
01:25:09,971 --> 01:25:14,028
Come on. I saw you on the 'Net.
Why do you think I accepted this date?

1303
01:25:14,105 --> 01:25:16,832
You're a sure thing.

1304
01:25:18,905 --> 01:25:21,737
Yes, I am.

1305
01:25:21,839 --> 01:25:26,499
So I said, "This is very obviously
a Piero della Francesca."

1307
01:25:33,772 --> 01:25:39,570
So, uh, would you object if I said
that you were quite striking?

1308
01:25:39,641 --> 01:25:44,573
Mr. Finch, are you
trying to seduce me?

1309
01:25:44,641 --> 01:25:46,698
- Yes, ma'am, I am.
- # And here's to you #

1310
01:25:46,773 --> 01:25:49,535
# Mrs. Robinson #

1311
01:25:49,607 --> 01:25:53,403
# Jesus loves you more
than you will know #

1313
01:25:55,940 --> 01:25:59,032
# Stand up tall, Mrs. Robinson #

1314
01:25:59,108 --> 01:26:02,835
- Mmm, you're dead.
- # God in heaven
smiles on those who pray #

1315
01:26:02,908 --> 01:26:06,204
# Hey, hey, hey #

1316
01:26:06,275 --> 01:26:08,106
# Hey, hey, hey ##

1317
01:26:08,141 --> 01:26:10,130
# Hey, hey, hey ##

1318
01:26:10,208 --> 01:26:13,106
# Sway my way #

1319
01:26:13,175 --> 01:26:16,232
# Yeah, I need to know #

1320
01:26:16,308 --> 01:26:19,469
# All about you #

1321
01:26:19,543 --> 01:26:22,270
# And there's no cure #

1322
01:26:22,342 --> 01:26:24,830
# And no way to be sure #

1323
01:26:24,909 --> 01:26:27,341
# Why everything's
turned inside out #

1324
01:26:27,409 --> 01:26:29,341
# Instilling so much doubt #

1325
01:26:29,409 --> 01:26:32,034
# It makes me so tired #

1326
01:26:32,109 --> 01:26:34,701
# I feel so uninspired #

1327
01:26:34,775 --> 01:26:37,299
# My head is battling
with my heart #

1328
01:26:37,377 --> 01:26:41,173
# My logic has been torn apart
And now ##

1329
01:26:41,243 --> 01:26:43,765
- I had
no idea you'd be this good.
- Neither did I.

1330
01:26:43,843 --> 01:26:45,866
Oh, Finchy. Finch.

1331
01:26:45,943 --> 01:26:48,841
- Oh, Stifler's mom!
- Finchy!

1332
01:26:55,111 --> 01:26:58,134
Okay, let's go.

1333
01:26:58,211 --> 01:27:00,643
What's my name?
Say my name, bitch!

1334
01:27:00,710 --> 01:27:02,869
Michelle, Michelle.

1335
01:27:04,478 --> 01:27:06,410
Oh, God.

1336
01:27:34,079 --> 01:27:36,011
That was
a great night, huh?

1337
01:27:38,446 --> 01:27:40,378
Yeah.

1338
01:27:42,346 --> 01:27:45,369
I mean, I just can't believe
we had our senior prom.

1339
01:27:45,446 --> 01:27:49,344
I know.
It went by so fast.

1340
01:27:49,413 --> 01:27:52,039
Yeah, it did.

1341
01:27:52,114 --> 01:27:54,046
Kevin?

1342
01:27:58,780 --> 01:28:01,269
Next year with you
going to Ann Arbor...

1343
01:28:01,347 --> 01:28:04,472
and me going to Ithaca,

1344
01:28:04,548 --> 01:28:07,672
it's not gonna work,
is it?

1345
01:28:07,747 --> 01:28:09,770
No.
Don't say that.

1346
01:28:09,847 --> 01:28:12,337
I mean,
we could make it work.

1347
01:28:13,681 --> 01:28:16,307
- It'll be perfect.
- No, Kevin.

1348
01:28:18,048 --> 01:28:20,480
- But...
- See, that's what I've been realizing...

1349
01:28:20,549 --> 01:28:23,310
is that...
nothing's perfect.

1350
01:28:23,382 --> 01:28:27,871
And you can't
plan everything.

1351
01:28:27,948 --> 01:28:31,711
Well, I guess... you will
be pretty far away.

1352
01:28:33,016 --> 01:28:36,039
And we'll be on our own,
meeting new people.

1353
01:28:40,249 --> 01:28:42,215
Last night, though.

1354
01:28:45,916 --> 01:28:48,906
I wasn't lying.

1355
01:28:50,284 --> 01:28:52,216
I know.

1356
01:29:07,851 --> 01:29:11,306
She's gone.
Wha...

1357
01:29:11,385 --> 01:29:13,442
Oh, my God.
She used me.

1358
01:29:13,518 --> 01:29:15,450
I was used.

1359
01:29:17,418 --> 01:29:20,815
I was used.
Cool!

1360
01:29:23,185 --> 01:29:25,117
What's this door locked...

1361
01:29:25,185 --> 01:29:27,118
Mom, where's...

1362
01:29:28,618 --> 01:29:32,880
- Mom? Shit-brick?
- Hey, Stifler.

1363
01:29:35,152 --> 01:29:38,482
# Do do do do do do do #

1364
01:29:38,552 --> 01:29:41,985
I just gotta say that women,

1365
01:29:42,052 --> 01:29:44,643
like a fine wine,
only get better with age.

1366
01:29:46,287 --> 01:29:49,378
Of course, I have
no basis for comparison, but, uh,

1367
01:29:49,453 --> 01:29:51,385
it was good.

1368
01:29:51,453 --> 01:29:53,941
So you almost made it,
huh, Oz?

1369
01:29:53,986 --> 01:29:58,146
- I'll just say that
we had a great night together.
- Hang in there, buddy.

1370
01:29:58,220 --> 01:30:02,675
- You'll get there.
- You know, guys, I think
we're falling in love.

1371
01:30:02,753 --> 01:30:06,584
Wha...

1372
01:30:06,654 --> 01:30:09,177
That's great, man.
That's awesome.

1373
01:30:10,454 --> 01:30:13,249
Y- You know what
the coolest thing is, guys?

1374
01:30:13,321 --> 01:30:15,412
This.
You know, right now.

1375
01:30:15,488 --> 01:30:19,215
It's true. I mean, after this,
everything's gonna be different.

1376
01:30:19,288 --> 01:30:22,482
After... getting laid?

1377
01:30:22,554 --> 01:30:25,521
- After high school.
- Here's to the next step.

1378
01:30:25,588 --> 01:30:29,180
- To the next step.
- To the next step.
- To the next step.

1379
01:30:30,955 --> 01:30:33,614
# Do do do do do do do #

1380
01:30:33,688 --> 01:30:36,518
# Do do do do do do do #

1381
01:30:36,588 --> 01:30:38,520
# Do do do do do do do #

1382
01:30:38,588 --> 01:30:41,020
# Do do do do do do do ##

1383
01:30:47,356 --> 01:30:51,685
# Chickety China, the Chinese
chicken, have a drumstick
and your brain stops tickin' #

1384
01:30:51,756 --> 01:30:53,847
# Watchin' X Files
with no lights on #

1385
01:30:53,923 --> 01:30:55,855
# We're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one #

1386
01:30:55,923 --> 01:30:58,048
# Like Harrison Ford
I'm getting frantic #

1387
01:30:58,089 --> 01:30:59,216
# Like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers guaranteed to satisfy #

1388
01:30:59,251 --> 01:31:00,344
# Like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers guaranteed to satisfy #

1389
01:31:00,390 --> 01:31:02,323
# Like Kurosawa
I make mad films #

1390
01:31:02,391 --> 01:31:04,357
# Okay, I don't make films
but if I did they'd have a samurai #

1391
01:31:04,424 --> 01:31:06,356
# Gonna get a set of better clubs,
gonna find the kind with tiny nubs #

1392
01:31:06,424 --> 01:31:09,151
# So my irons aren't always
flyin' off the backswing #

1393
01:31:09,224 --> 01:31:11,156
# Gonna get in tune
with Sailor Moon 'cause that cartoon #

1394
01:31:11,224 --> 01:31:13,156
# Has got the boom anime babes
that make me think the wrong thing #

1395
01:31:13,224 --> 01:31:15,213
# How can I help it if I think
you're funny when you're mad #

1396
01:31:15,291 --> 01:31:17,280
# Tryin' hard not to smile
though I feel bad #

1397
01:31:17,357 --> 01:31:19,289
# I'm the kinda guy
who laughs at a funeral #

1398
01:31:19,357 --> 01:31:21,119
- Sweetheart?
- # Can't understand what I mean
You soon will #

1399
01:31:21,358 --> 01:31:23,550
# It's been one week
since you looked at me #

1400
01:31:23,624 --> 01:31:24,606
# Dropped your eyes to the side
and said, I'm sorry ##

1401
01:31:24,641 --> 01:31:25,589
# Dropped your eyes to the side
and said, I'm sorry ##

1402
01:31:25,658 --> 01:31:29,613
# Hello to your mother
your brother significant other #

1403
01:31:29,691 --> 01:31:34,283
# I am the summertime #

1404
01:31:34,358 --> 01:31:39,916
# And I'm here
to free your mind #

1405
01:31:39,992 --> 01:31:44,049
# Kick off your shoes the blues
and use anything but your mind #

1406
01:31:44,126 --> 01:31:48,717
# 'Cause this is
the summertime #

1407
01:31:48,792 --> 01:31:54,282
# And it's here
to free your mind #

1408
01:31:54,359 --> 01:31:59,190
# How many other people
can you save today #

1409
01:31:59,260 --> 01:32:04,090
# Don't you think it's high time
that you sail away #

1410
01:32:04,160 --> 01:32:08,888
# Leave today
Don't fall behind #

1411
01:32:08,960 --> 01:32:13,188
# Try something new, turn into you
if only for a short time #

1412
01:32:13,260 --> 01:32:18,023
# I am the summertime #

1413
01:32:18,094 --> 01:32:23,083
# And I'm here
to free your mind ##

1414
01:32:32,694 --> 01:32:34,956
# Love is tragic
Love is bold #

1415
01:32:35,028 --> 01:32:38,120
# You will always
do what you are told #

1416
01:32:42,995 --> 01:32:45,392
# Love is hard
Love is strong #

1417
01:32:45,461 --> 01:32:48,621
# You will never say
that you were wrong #

1418
01:32:53,461 --> 01:32:55,894
# I don't know
when I got bitter #

1419
01:32:55,963 --> 01:33:00,520
# Love is surely better
when it's gone #

1420
01:33:02,563 --> 01:33:05,086
# 'Cause you wanted more #

1421
01:33:05,163 --> 01:33:07,754
# More than I could give #

1422
01:33:07,829 --> 01:33:10,091
# More than I could handle #

1423
01:33:10,163 --> 01:33:13,220
# And a life that I can't live #

1424
01:33:13,297 --> 01:33:15,695
# You wanted more #

1425
01:33:15,764 --> 01:33:18,253
# More than I could bear #

1426
01:33:18,330 --> 01:33:20,694
# More than I could offer #

1427
01:33:20,764 --> 01:33:24,288
# And a love that isn't there #

1428
01:33:35,665 --> 01:33:38,063
# Love is color
Love is love #

1429
01:33:38,132 --> 01:33:41,257
# Love is never saying
you're too proud #

1430
01:33:45,898 --> 01:33:48,455
# Love is trusting
Love is honest #

1431
01:33:48,531 --> 01:33:51,623
# Love is not a hand
that holds you down #

1432
01:33:56,399 --> 01:33:58,831
# I don't know
when I got bitter #

1433
01:33:58,899 --> 01:34:03,456
# Love is surely better
when it's gone #

1434
01:34:05,499 --> 01:34:08,022
# 'Cause you wanted more #

1435
01:34:08,099 --> 01:34:10,691
# More than I could give #

1436
01:34:10,767 --> 01:34:13,097
# More than I could handle #

1437
01:34:13,167 --> 01:34:16,156
# And a life that I can't live #

1438
01:34:16,234 --> 01:34:18,631
# You wanted more #

1439
01:34:18,700 --> 01:34:21,189
# More than I could bear #

1440
01:34:21,266 --> 01:34:23,630
# More than I could offer #

1441
01:34:23,700 --> 01:34:27,224
# And a love that isn't there #

1442
01:34:30,868 --> 01:34:34,698
# I gotta pick me up
when I am down #

1443
01:34:36,267 --> 01:34:39,961
# I gotta get my feet
back on the ground #

1444
01:34:41,534 --> 01:34:46,557
# I gotta pick me up
when I am down #

1445
01:34:57,102 --> 01:34:59,533
# I don't know
when I got bitter #

1446
01:34:59,602 --> 01:35:04,160
# But love is surely better
when it's gone #

1447
01:35:06,203 --> 01:35:08,726
# 'Cause you wanted more #

1448
01:35:08,803 --> 01:35:11,394
# More than I could give #

1449
01:35:11,469 --> 01:35:13,731
# More than I could handle #

1450
01:35:13,803 --> 01:35:16,860
# And a life that I can't live #

1451
01:35:16,937 --> 01:35:19,334
# You wanted more ##