1 00:00:05,890 --> 00:00:09,018 I get so sad when my food is coming to an end. 2 00:00:10,395 --> 00:00:12,814 I know you do, honey. 3 00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:16,901 You know, you start seeing the bottom of the container 4 00:00:17,068 --> 00:00:20,363 and you know it's almost over. 5 00:00:35,294 --> 00:00:37,296 Hey, what you got there? 6 00:00:37,714 --> 00:00:39,340 The one you brought in for me. 7 00:00:41,426 --> 00:00:43,344 - Do you want it? - No, I shouldn't. 8 00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:44,887 Then, don't. 9 00:01:06,451 --> 00:01:08,161 I'm getting sad again. 10 00:01:48,437 --> 00:01:49,730 What's with that shirt? 11 00:01:49,897 --> 00:01:52,691 This? It's velour. 12 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,443 It's nice. 13 00:01:54,610 --> 00:01:56,612 My mother's got a toilet seat cover like that. 14 00:01:58,614 --> 00:02:00,616 What's up, boys? Slide it on over. 15 00:02:00,782 --> 00:02:05,996 Do me a favour and make a little room for the I.P.S. Driver of the Month. 16 00:02:06,205 --> 00:02:07,581 - Nice work, man. - Yup. 17 00:02:07,789 --> 00:02:10,083 Number one on-time record, number one delivery record 18 00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:12,628 and fewest lost packages. 19 00:02:12,794 --> 00:02:16,507 Driver of the Month. 20 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:20,043 - I put a fire out at a nursery school. - Yeah? That's good. 21 00:02:20,252 --> 00:02:21,920 Could we get a pitcher of beer over here? 22 00:02:22,087 --> 00:02:24,006 Anything you want tonight, boys. I'm buying. 23 00:02:24,214 --> 00:02:25,382 So, what do you get for this? 24 00:02:25,549 --> 00:02:27,217 A trophy with a little truck on top? 25 00:02:27,384 --> 00:02:28,802 Hey, for your information, 26 00:02:28,969 --> 00:02:32,431 they gave my man four Mets tickets in the I.P.S. box for this Saturday. 27 00:02:32,598 --> 00:02:33,766 Front row. 28 00:02:33,974 --> 00:02:36,185 Four seats, four of us. We're there! 29 00:02:36,393 --> 00:02:37,436 Let's get there early. 30 00:02:37,603 --> 00:02:40,105 You know what? We should sleep at Doug's. 31 00:02:40,606 --> 00:02:43,358 Actually, Carrie already called dibs on one of the tickets. 32 00:02:43,567 --> 00:02:45,736 - And I know I get one. - Why do you get one? 33 00:02:45,944 --> 00:02:47,696 I punched him in six times when he was late. 34 00:02:47,863 --> 00:02:50,032 Hence his perfect on-time record. 35 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,367 Well, who gets the fourth ticket? 36 00:02:52,576 --> 00:02:54,828 I don't know. I guess you gotta decide among yourselves. 37 00:02:55,037 --> 00:02:56,872 Here you go. Doug, your wife is on the phone. 38 00:02:57,039 --> 00:02:58,999 Oh, thanks. 39 00:02:59,541 --> 00:03:01,627 So how do we decide who gets the extra ticket? 40 00:03:01,835 --> 00:03:04,046 I don't know. Deac, what do you think is fair? 41 00:03:04,505 --> 00:03:06,757 Don't care. Already got my ticket. 42 00:03:06,924 --> 00:03:08,884 Hey, we could measure something. 43 00:03:09,051 --> 00:03:11,970 You know, like the length of something. 44 00:03:15,849 --> 00:03:17,267 All right. 45 00:03:19,561 --> 00:03:21,855 Or maybe there's another way. 46 00:03:23,357 --> 00:03:24,399 What's up? 47 00:03:24,566 --> 00:03:27,903 Carrie's gonna be at her office late. I gotta go pick up Arthur from work. 48 00:03:28,070 --> 00:03:31,406 Basically, what I'm saying is pay for your own food. 49 00:03:34,868 --> 00:03:37,663 Well, looks like we're gonna be here for a while. 50 00:03:37,830 --> 00:03:39,331 Yup. 51 00:03:39,665 --> 00:03:40,833 You hungry? 52 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:45,045 - Yeah, you got some food? - No, just making conversation. 53 00:03:48,340 --> 00:03:51,635 Come on, man, this traffic is brutal. 54 00:03:51,802 --> 00:03:55,139 Well, on the bright side, it gives us a chance to talk. 55 00:03:56,598 --> 00:04:00,727 Hey, have you ever heard the story about my foot surgery? 56 00:04:01,979 --> 00:04:03,522 Yes. 57 00:04:04,148 --> 00:04:05,983 It didn't take place in a hospital proper. 58 00:04:06,150 --> 00:04:08,193 But I'm getting ahead of myself. 59 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,821 Let me first tell you about the accident. 60 00:04:11,905 --> 00:04:14,783 So if I didn't sell at least 200 canned hams a week, 61 00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:16,160 I didn't see a dime. 62 00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:23,834 And that little baby grew up to be Miss Rosemary Clooney. 63 00:04:25,836 --> 00:04:28,547 Let me tell you how the Vietnam War could have been avoided 64 00:04:28,714 --> 00:04:31,216 with a simple phone call. 65 00:04:32,217 --> 00:04:34,219 Imagine the possibilities, Douglas. 66 00:04:34,386 --> 00:04:38,515 You could sleep in it at night and eat it in the morning. 67 00:04:40,267 --> 00:04:42,686 And I guess the lesson I learned from that 68 00:04:42,853 --> 00:04:45,981 was farm equipment is serious business. 69 00:04:47,274 --> 00:04:48,942 Well, here we are. Home again. 70 00:04:49,109 --> 00:04:50,194 Home again. 71 00:04:50,402 --> 00:04:52,946 Yup, it only took an hour and a half. 72 00:04:53,113 --> 00:04:55,741 Yes, but in a way, it was a blessing in disguise. 73 00:04:55,908 --> 00:04:57,951 We had some wonderful bonding time. 74 00:04:58,869 --> 00:05:01,079 You're a good egg, Douglas. 75 00:05:01,622 --> 00:05:05,501 Oh, and I will get you that literature I promised you. 76 00:05:05,667 --> 00:05:07,544 Great, I look forward to it. 77 00:05:12,925 --> 00:05:14,885 Oh, God. 78 00:05:22,851 --> 00:05:25,312 - Hey, I'm home. - Hey. 79 00:05:25,479 --> 00:05:26,563 What are you watching? 80 00:05:26,730 --> 00:05:29,274 Letterman. Top Ten List. 81 00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:31,735 Top Ten List. 82 00:05:31,944 --> 00:05:33,070 What is it tonight? 83 00:05:33,362 --> 00:05:35,781 Top ten signs... 84 00:05:36,406 --> 00:05:37,950 - Top ten what? - Hold on. 85 00:05:38,158 --> 00:05:40,410 - Carrie, I'm listening. - Just tell me the topic. 86 00:05:40,619 --> 00:05:43,247 Carrie, could you? I missed it. 87 00:05:45,374 --> 00:05:47,209 - Sorry. - That's all right. 88 00:05:47,376 --> 00:05:50,379 Hey, thanks for picking up Dad from work tonight. Did it go okay? 89 00:05:50,671 --> 00:05:52,798 Okay? Let me tell you something, Carrie. 90 00:05:52,965 --> 00:05:55,884 I love your dad, but being trapped in the car with him for two hours, 91 00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:57,970 not even close to okay. 92 00:05:58,178 --> 00:06:03,308 I mean, he just kept going on and on about every little stupid thing. 93 00:06:03,475 --> 00:06:04,518 Tell you another thing, 94 00:06:04,685 --> 00:06:06,895 I'd set up a meeting between your father and a Tic Tac. 95 00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:08,897 Hot ziggity. 96 00:06:11,275 --> 00:06:12,317 It was brutal. 97 00:06:12,484 --> 00:06:15,904 It was like being trapped in a car with a demented old circus monkey. 98 00:06:19,366 --> 00:06:21,034 Anyway, why are you late from work again? 99 00:06:21,201 --> 00:06:24,413 This is like the third time this week. You should just tell your... 100 00:06:25,747 --> 00:06:27,166 - Arthur. - Douglas. 101 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:35,174 Where were you? 102 00:06:35,382 --> 00:06:38,260 In the garage getting a beer. What's the matter? 103 00:06:41,638 --> 00:06:42,806 I thought you were in there. 104 00:06:42,973 --> 00:06:45,142 I started going off about your father, and he came up. 105 00:06:45,309 --> 00:06:46,769 And I don't know if he heard me. 106 00:06:46,977 --> 00:06:48,187 Well, what'd you say? 107 00:06:48,395 --> 00:06:51,565 I think I called him a demented old circus monkey. 108 00:06:53,233 --> 00:06:56,862 "A demented old circus monkey"? 109 00:06:57,070 --> 00:06:59,907 I know, it's hurtful. That's the point. 110 00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:01,158 Well, why did you say it? 111 00:07:01,325 --> 00:07:03,035 You know he comes in and out of doors. 112 00:07:03,202 --> 00:07:05,704 He's been down there for four hours. I saw him take his pills. 113 00:07:05,871 --> 00:07:08,207 It looked like enough to put a rhino down. 114 00:07:08,415 --> 00:07:10,959 How'd he act when you walked in? Did he act like he heard you? 115 00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:13,670 I don't know. He just said, "Douglas." 116 00:07:13,837 --> 00:07:17,508 Oh, I just wanted to come home and have a beer and relax. 117 00:07:17,674 --> 00:07:19,885 Just for a moment, let's assume that he did hear. 118 00:07:20,052 --> 00:07:21,762 "Demented old circus monkey." 119 00:07:21,970 --> 00:07:24,348 How bad does that actually sound? 120 00:07:24,765 --> 00:07:26,141 Well, it doesn't sound good. 121 00:07:26,350 --> 00:07:27,392 Wait a second, now. 122 00:07:27,559 --> 00:07:30,687 "Circus," fun for the whole family, right? 123 00:07:30,854 --> 00:07:34,316 "Monkey," I think of the tricycle, with a mug of beer, he's very cute. 124 00:07:34,942 --> 00:07:37,069 What about "demented"? 125 00:07:37,236 --> 00:07:39,446 That could bite me in the ass. 126 00:07:45,702 --> 00:07:46,995 Hey, there he is. 127 00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:49,248 My man Artie. 128 00:07:49,414 --> 00:07:50,707 The Art-man. 129 00:07:51,834 --> 00:07:53,836 Art of the deal. 130 00:07:54,044 --> 00:07:55,254 Hello, Douglas. 131 00:07:56,213 --> 00:07:58,006 How you doing? 132 00:08:01,510 --> 00:08:03,303 Love this guy. 133 00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:10,561 You know, yesterday, right after we got caught in traffic, 134 00:08:10,727 --> 00:08:13,147 I was a little crazy, you know. 135 00:08:13,313 --> 00:08:16,233 I was just kind of saying stuff. 136 00:08:16,442 --> 00:08:18,360 But I was thinking later on, 137 00:08:18,527 --> 00:08:21,321 that that time we spent in the car together, 138 00:08:21,738 --> 00:08:23,031 that was kind of special. 139 00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:24,950 Because you're just so... 140 00:08:25,117 --> 00:08:27,619 You're you, you know. 141 00:08:28,328 --> 00:08:30,205 I am me, yes. 142 00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:36,086 Hey, Stanley, 143 00:08:36,253 --> 00:08:39,757 you demented old circus monkey, you. 144 00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:48,098 Who's a demented old circus monkey? 145 00:08:48,265 --> 00:08:49,892 You are. Yes, you are. 146 00:08:50,058 --> 00:08:52,728 Because you're so good and fun to be around. 147 00:08:52,895 --> 00:08:55,105 - Yeah. - Hey, honey. Hi, Dad. 148 00:08:55,272 --> 00:08:58,150 Hey, Car, you demented old circus monkey. 149 00:09:00,527 --> 00:09:01,570 What? 150 00:09:01,779 --> 00:09:04,156 It's just my new thing I call everyone I love, you know. 151 00:09:04,323 --> 00:09:07,659 It's my catch phrase starting yesterday. 152 00:09:08,076 --> 00:09:09,745 I'm off to work. 153 00:09:09,912 --> 00:09:11,038 See you tonight. 154 00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:15,167 All right. Why don't you take it easy, you demented old circus monkey? 155 00:09:17,377 --> 00:09:19,296 That was subtle. 156 00:09:19,713 --> 00:09:24,051 I know, I was trying. He wouldn't give me anything. 157 00:09:24,259 --> 00:09:26,804 He didn't seem that angry but he wasn't all that nice either. 158 00:09:26,970 --> 00:09:29,681 He was just kind of there. Like a cat. 159 00:09:29,848 --> 00:09:31,433 Doug, listen to me. 160 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,269 You need to either apologise to him or let this thing go, 161 00:09:34,436 --> 00:09:36,522 because you're really starting to annoy me. 162 00:09:36,688 --> 00:09:38,982 I just need to know if he heard. 163 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:42,402 Okay, I got it. 164 00:09:42,569 --> 00:09:45,114 You and I, we're gonna do a re-enactment. 165 00:09:45,322 --> 00:09:46,365 A re-enactment? 166 00:09:46,532 --> 00:09:48,325 I'm gonna be me, you're gonna be him, 167 00:09:48,534 --> 00:09:50,911 and I'm gonna repeat what I said exactly the way I said it. 168 00:09:51,078 --> 00:09:53,288 Then, we'll find out whether he heard once and for all. 169 00:09:53,497 --> 00:09:56,250 Okay, what can I do to make this not happen? 170 00:09:56,458 --> 00:09:59,670 You know what? We need everything to be exactly the same way. 171 00:09:59,837 --> 00:10:02,464 This pass-through was open, right here, okay? 172 00:10:02,631 --> 00:10:04,716 And the TV was on. It was definitely on. 173 00:10:04,883 --> 00:10:08,637 Okay, how loud did I say it though? You know? 174 00:10:09,430 --> 00:10:12,266 Demented old circus monkey. 175 00:10:12,808 --> 00:10:15,686 Demented old circus monkey. 176 00:10:16,603 --> 00:10:18,272 Demented old circus monkey. 177 00:10:18,439 --> 00:10:20,691 Yeah, that was the one. The third one, right there. 178 00:10:20,899 --> 00:10:22,818 Are you sure you're in the right key? 179 00:10:23,152 --> 00:10:25,821 Come on, you're Arthur, you're coming up out of the basement. 180 00:10:25,988 --> 00:10:28,073 - Would you work with me, please? - Fine. 181 00:10:28,282 --> 00:10:29,783 Okay. All right, here. 182 00:10:29,992 --> 00:10:32,911 Do you need me to say something like action or anything like that? 183 00:10:33,078 --> 00:10:34,163 I can handle it, butch. 184 00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:37,207 All right. Don't push it, just throw it away. 185 00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:41,336 Douglas. I'm Arthur. 186 00:10:41,545 --> 00:10:44,006 Arthur Spooner, that's me. 187 00:10:44,173 --> 00:10:47,050 I've invented a new kind of pie. 188 00:10:56,268 --> 00:10:57,644 Hi. 189 00:10:57,811 --> 00:11:00,481 Oh, my God. This is not my hat. 190 00:11:00,647 --> 00:11:03,317 - Hey, Arthur, we were just... - I saw what you were doing. 191 00:11:03,484 --> 00:11:06,320 I guess when I leave, you do little skits about me, is that it? 192 00:11:06,737 --> 00:11:08,530 Well, I don't. 193 00:11:10,282 --> 00:11:11,533 No, of course not. 194 00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:14,036 You're too busy calling me a demented old circus monkey 195 00:11:14,203 --> 00:11:15,913 - behind my back. - Dad... 196 00:11:16,079 --> 00:11:19,708 No. I'm glad I could be a source of such amusement to you two. 197 00:11:20,459 --> 00:11:22,377 I'll be going now. 198 00:11:22,544 --> 00:11:26,799 And by the way, I didn't invent a new kind of pie. 199 00:11:26,965 --> 00:11:29,384 It was a crumb cake. 200 00:11:39,519 --> 00:11:41,146 Thank you. 201 00:11:42,897 --> 00:11:44,566 Thank you. 202 00:11:51,364 --> 00:11:54,200 - Wow, he's really mad at us. - There is no us. 203 00:11:54,367 --> 00:11:56,953 You started this and then you took me down with you 204 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,289 with that brilliant little re-enactment. 205 00:11:59,497 --> 00:12:02,250 In my defence, Car, it was your choice to wear the hat. 206 00:12:03,168 --> 00:12:07,172 You created an atmosphere where it was easy to get carried away. 207 00:12:08,047 --> 00:12:09,716 Just go out there and try to talk to him. 208 00:12:09,883 --> 00:12:11,009 - Why don't you? - I did. 209 00:12:11,217 --> 00:12:16,431 Every time I do, he just covers his ears and shuts his eyes and walks away. 210 00:12:16,598 --> 00:12:18,433 Usually, right into something. 211 00:12:18,892 --> 00:12:21,394 Okay, I'll go. 212 00:12:24,063 --> 00:12:26,566 Dad, would you just come inside and eat with us? 213 00:12:26,733 --> 00:12:28,067 Sorry. 214 00:12:28,234 --> 00:12:32,864 I prefer to eat out here with the other demented circus monkeys. 215 00:12:34,365 --> 00:12:38,161 You're not a circus monkey, Dad. 216 00:12:38,661 --> 00:12:41,372 Demented circus monkey. 217 00:12:42,957 --> 00:12:45,418 Will you stop it? We're sorry, okay? 218 00:12:45,585 --> 00:12:48,713 Sure, it's easy to say you're sorry after the insult. 219 00:12:48,922 --> 00:12:51,966 Well, it's kind of hard to do it before the insult. 220 00:12:52,967 --> 00:12:54,719 If you're trying to disarm me with your wit, 221 00:12:54,886 --> 00:12:57,764 I recommend you save your time. 222 00:13:02,185 --> 00:13:05,814 Hey, Party Artie. 223 00:13:06,356 --> 00:13:08,066 Chef Boy Artie. 224 00:13:09,984 --> 00:13:11,820 We're in here. 225 00:13:14,823 --> 00:13:17,450 All right, I got it, you wait in the Shea parking lot 226 00:13:17,617 --> 00:13:19,786 and after four and a half innings, I come out 227 00:13:19,953 --> 00:13:21,830 and then you go in for the rest of the game. 228 00:13:21,996 --> 00:13:23,331 How's that? 229 00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:25,291 You won't come out. 230 00:13:27,377 --> 00:13:29,254 That's true. 231 00:13:30,630 --> 00:13:33,299 I apologised to the guy 20 times. What else can I do? 232 00:13:33,466 --> 00:13:35,135 I don't know. 233 00:13:36,427 --> 00:13:38,388 Why don't you take him somewhere? 234 00:13:38,972 --> 00:13:41,933 What, like, out to the woods? 235 00:13:43,059 --> 00:13:44,727 Hey, I got an idea. 236 00:13:44,894 --> 00:13:47,564 We got a dish here with about a dozen butterballs. 237 00:13:47,730 --> 00:13:52,110 You eat them all in under a minute and you're going to Shea. 238 00:13:55,029 --> 00:13:57,031 I know what you could do. 239 00:13:57,198 --> 00:13:58,658 What? 240 00:13:58,992 --> 00:14:01,119 You could give him the other Mets ticket. 241 00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:04,164 This is a lot of butter. 242 00:14:05,206 --> 00:14:07,041 And I think we have a deal. 243 00:14:10,003 --> 00:14:12,797 Not the game. He'll ruin it somehow. 244 00:14:12,964 --> 00:14:14,340 He'll yell something embarrassing 245 00:14:14,507 --> 00:14:16,176 and the first base coach will look at me. 246 00:14:16,342 --> 00:14:18,303 Look, man, you hurt the guy's feelings. 247 00:14:18,470 --> 00:14:20,346 You gotta deal with the consequences. 248 00:14:25,518 --> 00:14:29,063 I guess you're right. I guess I gotta bite the bullet on this one. 249 00:14:29,272 --> 00:14:30,648 All right. I'll bring him. 250 00:14:34,819 --> 00:14:37,238 That's 12. 251 00:14:37,405 --> 00:14:39,532 I win. 252 00:14:39,699 --> 00:14:43,495 I get the ticket! 253 00:14:48,416 --> 00:14:49,959 What? 254 00:14:55,548 --> 00:15:01,137 Now batting, number 61, Gilbert Schulman. 255 00:15:01,304 --> 00:15:05,433 Okay, Arthur, got you a program and a pennant here 256 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,978 and a little bat that's also a pen. 257 00:15:09,187 --> 00:15:10,230 Look at that. 258 00:15:10,396 --> 00:15:15,318 I'm a giant baseball player with a very normal size bat. 259 00:15:17,529 --> 00:15:21,282 - And they've got a bunt. - Okay, okay, it's not landing. 260 00:15:21,449 --> 00:15:23,159 Would you just take the stuff, will you? 261 00:15:23,326 --> 00:15:24,452 Thank you, no. 262 00:15:24,661 --> 00:15:27,747 I accepted this ticket because I love the Mets 263 00:15:27,914 --> 00:15:30,708 and I enjoy the company of Mr... 264 00:15:31,835 --> 00:15:34,420 - Palmer. - Palmer here. 265 00:15:34,796 --> 00:15:37,215 You two, I can do without. 266 00:15:37,924 --> 00:15:39,509 All right, so, what do you wanna eat? 267 00:15:39,676 --> 00:15:42,804 - You want a hot dog? Peanuts? - Nothing, thank you. 268 00:15:42,971 --> 00:15:44,973 What about one of those ice creams you like? 269 00:15:45,140 --> 00:15:46,391 A Cool-a-coo? 270 00:15:46,558 --> 00:15:48,810 You love Cool-a-coos. 271 00:15:49,602 --> 00:15:51,396 If I got you a Cool-a-coo, would you eat it? 272 00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:54,357 I might eat it. 273 00:15:54,524 --> 00:15:58,194 Well, then, I'm gonna get you a Cool-a-coo. 274 00:15:58,361 --> 00:16:00,822 And one for my friend... 275 00:16:00,989 --> 00:16:04,242 I'm sorry, son, give it to me one more time. 276 00:16:04,409 --> 00:16:06,911 - Palmer. - Palmer. 277 00:16:07,078 --> 00:16:13,251 Now batting, number four, Greg Jacobs. 278 00:16:15,712 --> 00:16:17,130 Oh, God. 279 00:16:23,761 --> 00:16:26,097 These seats are pretty great, huh? 280 00:16:30,602 --> 00:16:35,190 You sure you don't want the pennant? Because I think it's pretty sweet. 281 00:16:35,565 --> 00:16:37,317 I'm sure. 282 00:16:43,573 --> 00:16:47,076 Yeah! Yeah! 283 00:16:47,243 --> 00:16:50,705 Mets, yeah! God, this thing is fun. 284 00:17:04,427 --> 00:17:08,223 Hi, I need two Cool-a-coos, please. 285 00:17:08,431 --> 00:17:09,974 Sorry, beer only. 286 00:17:10,141 --> 00:17:13,686 Oh, okay. I'll take a beer and two Cool-a-coos. 287 00:17:13,853 --> 00:17:15,730 Beer only. 288 00:17:15,897 --> 00:17:18,066 What are you talking about? You got Cool-a-coos there. 289 00:17:18,233 --> 00:17:20,485 - I could see them. - Beer only. 290 00:17:21,694 --> 00:17:24,864 Yeah, yeah, you mentioned that. 291 00:17:25,031 --> 00:17:29,452 Listen, I've got an old man out there with very hurt feelings 292 00:17:29,619 --> 00:17:32,455 and he's got his heart set on a frigging Cool-a-coo. 293 00:17:32,622 --> 00:17:34,541 Now, I'm gonna count to five. 294 00:17:34,707 --> 00:17:37,502 And if a Cool-a-coo does not appear in my hand, 295 00:17:37,669 --> 00:17:40,171 I'm gonna put you on a stick. 296 00:17:50,515 --> 00:17:54,018 What does Mets stand for anyway, you know? 297 00:17:54,686 --> 00:17:58,481 I mean, what's a Met? What's the deal with that? 298 00:18:00,108 --> 00:18:02,152 Come on, give me something, huh? 299 00:18:02,318 --> 00:18:04,821 It's short for Metropolitan. 300 00:18:05,321 --> 00:18:08,449 Or perhaps it's short for hurtful son-in-law. 301 00:18:08,658 --> 00:18:10,243 You know what? That's it. Come on. 302 00:18:10,410 --> 00:18:12,745 I said I was sorry, all right? I didn't mean what I said. 303 00:18:12,912 --> 00:18:16,040 Now, I've apologised, I've shared front row seats with you... 304 00:18:16,207 --> 00:18:18,668 I'm out. I'm out. 305 00:18:19,043 --> 00:18:20,920 I never got a foul ball before. 306 00:18:26,217 --> 00:18:29,679 Hey, buddy, back in your seat! 307 00:18:36,352 --> 00:18:38,062 Hey! 308 00:18:42,692 --> 00:18:45,737 Go, big man. Go. 309 00:18:47,780 --> 00:18:49,365 Oh, will you look at this? 310 00:18:49,532 --> 00:18:50,825 This is terrible. 311 00:18:51,034 --> 00:18:52,452 Is that Doug? 312 00:18:52,619 --> 00:18:55,246 Some moron is running around the field 313 00:18:55,413 --> 00:18:57,081 ruining it for everyone. 314 00:18:57,707 --> 00:19:00,001 Go, Moose! 315 00:19:12,096 --> 00:19:14,265 Hey, how you guys doing? 316 00:19:15,183 --> 00:19:18,770 That's my son-in-law! 317 00:19:29,197 --> 00:19:31,825 Piazza! 318 00:19:34,786 --> 00:19:37,163 Driver of the Month. 319 00:19:38,498 --> 00:19:41,000 This is a long way to fall. 320 00:19:43,670 --> 00:19:46,047 Excuse me, sir? Sorry to bother you. 321 00:19:46,673 --> 00:19:48,174 Could you just let us go now, please? 322 00:19:48,341 --> 00:19:49,592 He won't go on the field again 323 00:19:49,759 --> 00:19:52,929 and I won't spit on any more concession people. 324 00:19:54,139 --> 00:19:56,099 Sorry. Rules are rules. 325 00:19:56,307 --> 00:19:58,685 Oh, come on. It's not like you're running a real jail here. 326 00:19:58,852 --> 00:20:01,354 It's Mets jail. Get a grip. 327 00:20:03,439 --> 00:20:04,482 Piazza! 328 00:20:04,649 --> 00:20:06,401 You know what? We get it, you like Piazza. 329 00:20:06,568 --> 00:20:09,904 - Now, settle down, drunky. - Take it easy. 330 00:20:10,071 --> 00:20:13,616 This man has puking in his future. 331 00:20:13,783 --> 00:20:16,411 Hey, some guy is here to claim you. 332 00:20:16,619 --> 00:20:18,496 - Hey, Arthur. - Hi, Dad. 333 00:20:19,247 --> 00:20:23,168 Well, I can't say this is my proudest moment. 334 00:20:23,543 --> 00:20:25,211 I'm sorry I didn't get you that foul ball. 335 00:20:25,378 --> 00:20:27,839 No, no, Douglas, I was very touched. 336 00:20:28,006 --> 00:20:29,507 You did toss it away to save yourself 337 00:20:29,674 --> 00:20:34,012 but other than that, it was a very nice gesture. 338 00:20:34,220 --> 00:20:36,014 And I almost got you your ice cream. 339 00:20:36,222 --> 00:20:39,517 Well, yes, but I heard you were in a beer-only line. 340 00:20:39,684 --> 00:20:42,937 Last time I checked, that means beer only. 341 00:20:43,605 --> 00:20:46,357 Well, anyway, I'm sorry. 342 00:20:46,566 --> 00:20:49,402 Come on, let's get you kids out of this hell hole. 343 00:20:49,569 --> 00:20:51,571 Listen, Arthur, I'm really sorry 344 00:20:51,738 --> 00:20:53,364 about that "demented monkey" comment. 345 00:20:53,531 --> 00:20:54,574 Oh, forget it. 346 00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:56,951 To be honest, Douglas, behind your back, 347 00:20:57,118 --> 00:21:01,164 I often refer to you as "The Butterball." 348 00:21:01,456 --> 00:21:02,499 Good to know. 349 00:21:02,665 --> 00:21:04,626 And ouch. 350 00:21:09,838 --> 00:21:12,924 And from the "At Least You Know You're Smarter Than Someone"file, 351 00:21:13,091 --> 00:21:14,926 here's a guy who really wanted a foul ball 352 00:21:15,093 --> 00:21:16,553 in Shea Stadium today. 353 00:21:16,762 --> 00:21:18,221 Look at this lunatic go. 354 00:21:21,683 --> 00:21:25,145 Oh, yeah, why don't you show the part where I make a crazy old man happy? 355 00:21:25,312 --> 00:21:27,272 Oh, hey, Dad. 356 00:21:27,689 --> 00:21:29,775 You thought that's funny? 357 00:21:29,941 --> 00:21:32,861 Funny, funny, funny!