1 00:00:09,824 --> 00:00:11,826 Who are these kids? 2 00:00:13,745 --> 00:00:17,040 - What kids? - In this picture. 3 00:00:19,542 --> 00:00:21,628 I don't know. I thought you put them up. 4 00:00:22,379 --> 00:00:23,964 No... 5 00:00:24,130 --> 00:00:27,509 Well, they probably came in a Christmas card or something. 6 00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:33,974 They don't even look familiar. 7 00:00:34,182 --> 00:00:35,642 Nope. 8 00:00:35,850 --> 00:00:39,604 They look happy, though. The boy's got the little car in there. 9 00:00:39,813 --> 00:00:41,815 Yeah, they seem nice. 10 00:00:42,816 --> 00:00:45,610 - Okay, let's throw them out. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 11 00:00:45,819 --> 00:00:48,613 - You can't throw out kids. - Why not? 12 00:00:48,822 --> 00:00:50,407 What if their parents come by? 13 00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:52,659 So we have to keep a picture up on our refrigerator 14 00:00:52,826 --> 00:00:55,328 of kids we don't know in the off-chance that their parents 15 00:00:55,495 --> 00:00:59,374 who we can't remember will come by and be offended? 16 00:00:59,583 --> 00:01:02,460 Are they hurting anyone up there? 17 00:01:04,170 --> 00:01:07,007 Fine. But I'm putting them under a big magnet. 18 00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:48,675 Thinking about starting to use a washcloth. 19 00:01:50,552 --> 00:01:52,220 Carrie got a whole bunch of new ones. 20 00:01:52,387 --> 00:01:54,973 You know, I'm usually like a soap-to-skin guy, 21 00:01:55,140 --> 00:01:56,933 but, I don't know, I might go for it. 22 00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:58,309 Good luck with that. 23 00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:01,396 Hey there. 24 00:02:01,563 --> 00:02:04,357 Thought you guys might like a refill on your iced teas. 25 00:02:04,566 --> 00:02:06,943 I love a waitress who's on top of the refills. 26 00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:10,447 And on a slightly related note, I'm gonna go use the restroom. 27 00:02:11,489 --> 00:02:15,201 Well, guess you liked your potato skins, huh? 28 00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:19,706 Ah, actually, I like any food that comes in a basket, you know? 29 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:23,251 That, or anything with one of those, like, little toothpick flags in it. 30 00:02:23,418 --> 00:02:26,421 I guess what I'm basically saying is don't take me to a French restaurant. 31 00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:31,259 Can I get you anything else? Because my shift is almost over. 32 00:02:31,468 --> 00:02:32,761 - No, I'm good. - Oh, okay. 33 00:02:32,927 --> 00:02:39,392 So I'll just leave the cheque over here, and you can stay as long as you like. 34 00:02:39,601 --> 00:02:41,394 Okay. I'll lock up when I go. 35 00:02:43,104 --> 00:02:45,148 Okay, well, bye. 36 00:02:45,356 --> 00:02:46,983 Bye-bye. 37 00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:13,885 Well... 38 00:03:14,511 --> 00:03:15,553 That was interesting. 39 00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:16,805 What was? 40 00:03:16,971 --> 00:03:19,641 Our waitress just asked me about your situation. 41 00:03:19,849 --> 00:03:21,810 Nice work, my man. 42 00:03:22,018 --> 00:03:23,578 We better get going, I gotta get back... 43 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:28,817 What did you just say? 44 00:03:28,983 --> 00:03:30,693 She asked about your situation. 45 00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:33,279 I think she has a little thing for you. Come on. 46 00:03:33,488 --> 00:03:37,033 Okay, you know what? First of all, stop getting up. 47 00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:40,954 Now, I want you to tell me exactly what she said, 48 00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:43,915 and I want you to tell me very, very slowly. 49 00:03:44,082 --> 00:03:45,667 Okay, okay, fine. 50 00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:47,085 She said... 51 00:03:47,252 --> 00:03:50,046 She thought you were cute, or a cutie and then... 52 00:03:50,255 --> 00:03:52,006 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Which one? 53 00:03:52,215 --> 00:03:54,801 - I don't remember. - They're very different. Remember. 54 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,678 Cute. She said you were cute. 55 00:03:56,886 --> 00:03:59,264 All right. That's the good one. 56 00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:01,512 Why are you worked up? You're not gonna do anything. 57 00:04:01,558 --> 00:04:03,601 Of course, I'm not gonna do anything. 58 00:04:03,768 --> 00:04:05,311 What else did she say? 59 00:04:05,937 --> 00:04:07,856 She said you were cute and, oh... 60 00:04:08,022 --> 00:04:10,525 - And funny. - Cute and funny? 61 00:04:10,692 --> 00:04:13,820 Oh, God, I'm the whole package for her. 62 00:04:14,446 --> 00:04:16,072 - Can we go now? - Yeah, we can. 63 00:04:16,239 --> 00:04:18,616 Although she said I can stay as long as I like... 64 00:04:20,410 --> 00:04:23,621 Look at this, note on the cheque. We have a note. 65 00:04:23,788 --> 00:04:26,750 Oh, things just keep getting better. 66 00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:30,003 "Baskets rule. Jill." 67 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:33,214 Yeah, we had this whole little thing going with baskets. 68 00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:35,592 Sounds magical. 69 00:04:37,927 --> 00:04:43,058 She was working as a waitress In a cocktail bar. 70 00:04:43,224 --> 00:04:46,061 That much is true. 71 00:04:46,269 --> 00:04:49,355 Oh, don't you want me? 72 00:04:49,522 --> 00:04:53,610 You know I can't believe it When you say that you don't need me. 73 00:04:53,777 --> 00:04:55,195 Don't you want me. 74 00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:58,490 - Hey. - Well, hello. 75 00:04:58,698 --> 00:04:59,866 I'm on the phone with Kelly. 76 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,868 We're trying to figure out which movie to see. 77 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,995 You're wearing trousers? 78 00:05:04,162 --> 00:05:05,372 Yeah. Trousers. 79 00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:08,541 Slacks. Fancy pants. 80 00:05:10,001 --> 00:05:12,379 Did you lose all your jeans? 81 00:05:12,587 --> 00:05:14,547 No. Just felt like kicking it up a notch. 82 00:05:14,756 --> 00:05:16,341 Well, now you're dressed better than me. 83 00:05:16,508 --> 00:05:19,511 I have to change. Thank you very much. 84 00:05:19,677 --> 00:05:22,222 Yeah, Kel, hi, I'm still here, sweetie. 85 00:05:22,430 --> 00:05:24,557 Doug is wearing nice pants. 86 00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,976 I know, it's weird. 87 00:05:28,144 --> 00:05:30,563 I don't know, let me ask him. They wanna see The Prosecutor. 88 00:05:30,772 --> 00:05:33,108 No, I saw it with Spence. How about Freeze? 89 00:05:33,316 --> 00:05:36,194 What about Freeze? 90 00:05:36,361 --> 00:05:38,321 Well, ask Deacon, I'll hold on. 91 00:05:38,488 --> 00:05:40,949 - Honey, I don't wanna see Freeze. - Why not? 92 00:05:41,157 --> 00:05:43,410 A whole movie set in a futuristic ice world? 93 00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:46,913 I'm not into it. Plus, I don't like Rosie Perez. 94 00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:49,999 Whoa. You wearing cologne? 95 00:05:50,208 --> 00:05:52,127 Yeah, picked some up on the way home. 96 00:05:52,293 --> 00:05:54,212 Think I'm gonna start smelling better. 97 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,883 Well, I hope you don't need to sneak up on anybody. 98 00:05:59,050 --> 00:06:00,176 Hey. 99 00:06:00,343 --> 00:06:02,387 Not nice. Come on. 100 00:06:02,554 --> 00:06:03,930 What is up with you tonight? 101 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,724 What? Can't a guy be in a good mood? 102 00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:08,768 Handsome man going on a date with his beautiful wife, huh? 103 00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:11,396 All right, get your groove on. 104 00:06:12,188 --> 00:06:14,983 Yeah, I'm still here. Oh, really? 105 00:06:15,150 --> 00:06:16,192 Deacon saw Freeze. 106 00:06:16,359 --> 00:06:19,195 - So I'll see The Prosecutor again. - You don't want to see it again. 107 00:06:19,362 --> 00:06:21,698 It's all right, I'll take a bullet for the group. 108 00:06:23,074 --> 00:06:24,701 Oh, yeah, I'd see that. Okay. 109 00:06:24,868 --> 00:06:27,162 What about Population Zero? 110 00:06:27,328 --> 00:06:30,165 Population, me. 111 00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:33,251 I think he just said yes. 112 00:06:33,418 --> 00:06:35,211 Okay. We'll meet you at the Midway at 8:00. 113 00:06:35,378 --> 00:06:37,255 Okay, sweetie. Bye. 114 00:06:37,464 --> 00:06:39,007 Good evening. 115 00:06:39,215 --> 00:06:42,552 Well, you kids look nice. What, are you getting on a plane? 116 00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,014 Just going to see a movie. 117 00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:47,390 Ah, the cinema. 118 00:06:47,557 --> 00:06:51,853 America's ongoing love affair with the motion picture. 119 00:06:52,771 --> 00:06:54,731 Do you? Do you have any plans, Dad? 120 00:06:54,898 --> 00:06:57,025 Oh, well, I did have plans with my friend Len, 121 00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,985 but he's having chest pains. 122 00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,904 On the bright side, now I have a chance 123 00:07:01,071 --> 00:07:04,866 to put the soy sauce packets into one larger bottle. 124 00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:07,202 Have a nice night. 125 00:07:07,744 --> 00:07:08,828 Would you like to join us? 126 00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:12,791 Well, this is pretty last minute, but sure, why not? 127 00:07:12,957 --> 00:07:14,042 What are you seeing? 128 00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:16,920 - Population Zero. - Seen it. 129 00:07:22,884 --> 00:07:24,636 How you doing? 130 00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,806 Hey. 131 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:31,226 Slow your roll, player. 132 00:07:31,393 --> 00:07:33,686 Why won't you listen to me? This is a lousy movie. 133 00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:35,480 We're seeing it, Dad. 134 00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:38,149 I'll tell you the surprise ending right now. 135 00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:41,319 Do it, and I'll give you a surprise ending. 136 00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,321 So noted. 137 00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,782 - Babe, you want popcorn? - Yes, thank you. 138 00:07:45,949 --> 00:07:47,659 We'll get seats. 139 00:07:53,331 --> 00:07:56,376 What you got on? Cologne? 140 00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:59,713 Yeah, it's Drakkar. It's a citrusy masculine scent. 141 00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:03,133 I know what Drakkar is, I wore it in high school. 142 00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:04,926 Hey there. 143 00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:09,556 Large pop-corny-corn and a mineral water, por favor. 144 00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:16,896 All right. Food in a bucket, you know what I'm saying? 145 00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:18,857 You know. 146 00:08:21,609 --> 00:08:25,697 Well, well, well, if it isn't Mr. Chest Pains. 147 00:08:25,864 --> 00:08:26,990 What? 148 00:08:27,157 --> 00:08:28,575 The man who couldn't go out tonight 149 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,161 because he had chest pains is sitting four rows ahead of us. 150 00:08:31,327 --> 00:08:32,996 Excuse me. 151 00:08:33,163 --> 00:08:35,915 All right, take care of business, Dad. 152 00:08:36,624 --> 00:08:38,668 So I heard your boy got a little compliment today. 153 00:08:39,544 --> 00:08:41,838 Deacon told me what happened at Cooper's. 154 00:08:42,005 --> 00:08:43,757 - Doug didn't tell you? - No. 155 00:08:43,965 --> 00:08:47,385 Apparently, some new cute waitress asked about his situation. 156 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:48,970 Oh, really? 157 00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:52,265 Oh, so that's why he's been acting like this. 158 00:08:53,683 --> 00:08:55,643 Okay, Trouser Man... 159 00:08:56,853 --> 00:08:59,439 He claims he felt better and he tried to call me. 160 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,358 Like I'm supposed to believe that. 161 00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,569 Lenny. Enjoy the movie. 162 00:09:04,736 --> 00:09:09,324 By the way, the lab chief turns out to be a robot, and the bomb is inside him. 163 00:09:09,532 --> 00:09:12,202 - Oh, come on. - Shut up. 164 00:09:14,662 --> 00:09:15,705 Hey... 165 00:09:15,872 --> 00:09:17,165 Hey. Here you go, sweetie. 166 00:09:17,332 --> 00:09:18,583 Thanks. 167 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:22,962 - Here you are, sweet thing. - No, you're the sweet thing. 168 00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:24,547 What's up? No candy? 169 00:09:24,714 --> 00:09:27,801 No, I just got a mineral water. I'm gonna try and drop a few. 170 00:09:30,095 --> 00:09:32,263 Good for you. 171 00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:42,690 In war, sometimes the first to die are the ones who least deserve to... 172 00:09:43,274 --> 00:09:48,196 My baby... My baby! 173 00:09:50,865 --> 00:09:54,869 Doug. A baby just exploded. 174 00:09:55,036 --> 00:09:56,621 Why are you smiling? 175 00:09:56,788 --> 00:09:59,124 Oh, no, no. I'm not, I'm not. It's sad. 176 00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:03,545 Kill me too. 177 00:10:03,712 --> 00:10:08,258 Kill me too, you bastards. 178 00:10:17,449 --> 00:10:19,159 How was that? 179 00:10:19,701 --> 00:10:21,912 It was fantastic. 180 00:10:24,748 --> 00:10:26,458 What the hell's that for? 181 00:10:26,666 --> 00:10:29,211 Kelly told me about your little thing with the waitress. 182 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,004 Were you planning on telling me? 183 00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:34,591 I don't know, why? You're not jealous, are you? 184 00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:37,594 No. It has nothing to do with the girl, it's you. 185 00:10:37,761 --> 00:10:40,972 Obviously, this thing has turned your whole world upside down. 186 00:10:41,181 --> 00:10:42,474 What? It has not. 187 00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,727 Oh, please. The nice pants, the cologne, the great sex. 188 00:10:47,145 --> 00:10:49,606 First of all, the sex was not that good. 189 00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:52,109 - You were great. - I disagree. 190 00:10:52,275 --> 00:10:53,443 - Doug. - Look, I was... 191 00:10:53,610 --> 00:10:55,487 My moves were clumsy, I was all over the place, 192 00:10:55,654 --> 00:10:57,114 I was out of control. 193 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:01,201 How you got any pleasure out of it is a complete mystery. 194 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:05,372 Come on, you were good, just admit it. Just admit that you were good. 195 00:11:06,081 --> 00:11:08,667 All right, I was all right. I was good. 196 00:11:11,002 --> 00:11:13,839 Look, I don't feel like I have anything to apologise for here, Carrie. 197 00:11:14,005 --> 00:11:15,674 All right, a woman was attracted to me. 198 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,884 You know I would never act on it. So what? 199 00:11:18,051 --> 00:11:19,428 It made me feel good about myself, 200 00:11:19,594 --> 00:11:21,972 I slapped on some cologne and made you wake the neighbours. 201 00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:23,223 Big deal. 202 00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:25,100 Doug, how do you think that makes me feel? 203 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:27,394 I mean, I'm attracted to you. 204 00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:28,854 I married you, I... 205 00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:31,273 I promised to love you until the day I die. 206 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,191 Why doesn't any of that make you walk around 207 00:11:33,358 --> 00:11:35,027 with a stupid grin on your face? 208 00:11:35,235 --> 00:11:36,945 Because you're already a given. You know? 209 00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:42,868 You know, you're already part of the wonderful tapestry that is my life. 210 00:11:43,076 --> 00:11:44,995 So that's what I am. I'm tapestry. 211 00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:47,789 No, no, no, tapestry is good. 212 00:11:47,956 --> 00:11:50,333 It's woven. On a loom. 213 00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:53,879 You know, a loom, you understand? Loom. 214 00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,298 No, I don't understand, Doug. 215 00:11:56,506 --> 00:11:59,217 I mean, you don't see me acting like this, and believe me, I could. 216 00:11:59,384 --> 00:12:01,136 I mean, strangers check me out all the time. 217 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:03,638 I get my ass touched on the subway every day. 218 00:12:04,222 --> 00:12:07,601 Well, then, you should wash your ass when you get home. 219 00:12:09,644 --> 00:12:13,690 Okay, my point is, it has no effect on me. 220 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,568 Yeah, that's because it happens to you all the time. 221 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:19,237 I never get my ass touched on the subway. 222 00:12:19,446 --> 00:12:20,489 Well, you know what? 223 00:12:20,655 --> 00:12:23,867 Hello, got my ass touched on the subway of life. 224 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:25,744 And it is a big deal to me. 225 00:12:25,952 --> 00:12:26,995 Fine. You know what? 226 00:12:27,162 --> 00:12:30,957 If a stupid little comment from some bimbo waitress gets you all revved up, 227 00:12:31,124 --> 00:12:32,292 then God bless. 228 00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:34,544 Oh, I see how it works. Because it's me, 229 00:12:34,711 --> 00:12:37,339 it's just gotta be some stupid little comment, right? 230 00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:40,550 Yeah? Well, then why'd she take the time to leave a note, huh? 231 00:12:40,717 --> 00:12:43,762 - A note? - Yeah, on the cheque. Yeah, note. 232 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:46,682 And what did this little note say? 233 00:12:46,848 --> 00:12:48,934 Way to eat? 234 00:12:50,294 --> 00:12:51,378 No. You're way off. 235 00:12:51,545 --> 00:12:53,880 It said, "Baskets rule. Jill." 236 00:12:54,047 --> 00:12:56,300 Then, she drew a little smiley face. 237 00:12:56,508 --> 00:13:01,305 A smiley face? That mean Jill happy. 238 00:13:03,599 --> 00:13:05,601 Know what? I don't wanna talk about this anymore. 239 00:13:05,767 --> 00:13:08,103 If you can't be supportive about another woman liking me, 240 00:13:08,270 --> 00:13:10,397 then this conversation's over. 241 00:13:12,107 --> 00:13:13,275 Fine. You know what? 242 00:13:13,442 --> 00:13:17,321 Go out there and get your little compliments and your smiley faces. 243 00:13:17,487 --> 00:13:18,989 You know what? Enjoy them. 244 00:13:19,156 --> 00:13:21,825 Why don't you start dressing a little bit more provocatively, huh? 245 00:13:21,992 --> 00:13:23,869 - Show a little cleavage there. - Maybe I will. 246 00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:25,078 - Great. - You know what? 247 00:13:25,245 --> 00:13:26,622 I'm a delicious piece of man meat, 248 00:13:26,788 --> 00:13:29,583 and you're just gonna have to learn to deal with it. 249 00:13:32,127 --> 00:13:34,129 I'm electric. 250 00:13:39,134 --> 00:13:41,511 - Man, what are we doing back here? - What? 251 00:13:41,678 --> 00:13:43,889 Getting burgers, gonna watch the Florida-Nebraska game, 252 00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:46,058 that's what we're doing here. 253 00:13:47,768 --> 00:13:49,519 Is she working today? 254 00:13:50,354 --> 00:13:53,273 I don't know. I didn't make this week's schedule. 255 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:55,609 Here we go. Showtime. 256 00:13:56,276 --> 00:13:57,444 Yeah... 257 00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:02,491 I think I'm going for the ribs. 258 00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:05,452 Yeah, you going for the ribs? You gonna do the ribs? 259 00:14:05,619 --> 00:14:08,080 You doing the ribbies. 260 00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:09,665 You're gonna do the ribs. The ribs. 261 00:14:09,831 --> 00:14:12,292 Give me a little high-five on the rib-eye. 262 00:14:12,834 --> 00:14:14,670 You wanna high-five ribs? 263 00:14:14,878 --> 00:14:18,048 No. I don't wanna high-five ribs. 264 00:14:21,343 --> 00:14:24,221 Yo, Steve, what's up, man? Stevie. You freak show, what are you doing? 265 00:14:24,388 --> 00:14:25,931 What, you drinking beer over there? 266 00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:28,308 - I have those pants too. - Hey, Doug. 267 00:14:28,475 --> 00:14:30,060 I have the same... Hey there. 268 00:14:30,227 --> 00:14:31,478 Hey. I'll be right with you. 269 00:14:32,312 --> 00:14:34,898 Right with you? That's all I get? It's like I'm just a customer. 270 00:14:35,899 --> 00:14:37,651 You are just a customer. 271 00:14:37,859 --> 00:14:40,779 - She asked about my situation. - And I told her you were married. 272 00:14:40,988 --> 00:14:42,572 Excuse me? Am I not still cute? 273 00:14:42,739 --> 00:14:44,241 Am I not still funny? 274 00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:47,202 I'm sorry to make you wait, guys, but it's crazy here today. 275 00:14:47,369 --> 00:14:49,746 - What can I get you? - I'll have the ribs and a Coke. 276 00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:50,998 Okay. And for you? 277 00:14:51,164 --> 00:14:53,458 I'll have a burger and fries and... 278 00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:55,419 Hey, well, make sure it comes in a basket. 279 00:14:55,627 --> 00:14:56,712 - Oh, yeah, right. - Right. 280 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,965 Remember, because baskets rule. They rule. 281 00:15:04,928 --> 00:15:06,680 I don't get this... 282 00:15:06,888 --> 00:15:08,849 - What did you expect to happen? - I don't know. 283 00:15:09,016 --> 00:15:11,310 Carrie was just so... about the whole thing, 284 00:15:11,476 --> 00:15:13,020 like no hot girl could ever be into me. 285 00:15:13,186 --> 00:15:15,480 That I just wanted to come down here and... 286 00:15:15,689 --> 00:15:16,773 And what? 287 00:15:16,982 --> 00:15:19,318 I don't know, prove to myself that I still got the juice. 288 00:15:19,484 --> 00:15:21,653 The heat. The Yuspa. 289 00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:28,035 Okay. Now, she's laughing with an ugly guy. 290 00:15:28,201 --> 00:15:30,245 What the hell's this crap about? 291 00:15:34,291 --> 00:15:37,127 - Hey, whoa, where are you going? - See if he got a note, that's all. 292 00:15:39,296 --> 00:15:40,339 Hey, man, did you get? 293 00:15:40,505 --> 00:15:43,425 You get overcharged for your soda? Because we did, and... 294 00:15:43,967 --> 00:15:47,387 "Happy mozzarella trails. Jill." 295 00:15:47,554 --> 00:15:49,598 Note slut. 296 00:15:53,810 --> 00:15:54,895 Okay... 297 00:15:55,103 --> 00:15:58,649 Which one of these skankeroos do you think is Jill? 298 00:15:58,815 --> 00:16:05,072 I cannot wait to see this winner, she's gonna be brutal. 299 00:16:06,448 --> 00:16:08,200 - Maybe that's her. - No, that's not her. 300 00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:09,576 She's been here for a while. 301 00:16:09,743 --> 00:16:12,454 Although she is a skankeroo. 302 00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:16,124 What about her? Her? 303 00:16:16,291 --> 00:16:19,294 Hello? We can see your panty lines. 304 00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:24,049 Little tip, invest in a full length mirror. And turn around in it. 305 00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:25,259 Stop it. 306 00:16:25,425 --> 00:16:28,804 I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Hi, I'm Jill. 307 00:16:29,012 --> 00:16:31,765 Wow, you are really attractive. 308 00:16:31,974 --> 00:16:35,477 Oh, thank you. Are you guys ready to order? 309 00:16:35,644 --> 00:16:38,438 No, don't think we are, Jill. 310 00:16:39,523 --> 00:16:42,234 Why don't you write someone a note with a little smiley face on it, 311 00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,403 and then maybe I'll be ready, okay? 312 00:16:44,611 --> 00:16:48,198 Okay. Just let me know. 313 00:16:49,283 --> 00:16:51,368 Wow, did you see the attitude on that one? 314 00:16:51,535 --> 00:16:54,663 Out of control. 315 00:16:56,290 --> 00:16:57,874 I actually thought she was pretty sweet. 316 00:16:58,625 --> 00:17:02,754 Sweet, huh? Oh, I see she's cast her little spell on you too now? 317 00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:04,298 Girl, you gotta stop now... 318 00:17:04,506 --> 00:17:05,946 What? I... No, I don't need to stop. 319 00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:07,551 - I am fine. - You are not fine. 320 00:17:07,718 --> 00:17:09,678 You're right, I'm not fine. Why am I not fine? 321 00:17:09,886 --> 00:17:12,306 Not sure. You know that Doug's not gonna fool around, right? 322 00:17:12,472 --> 00:17:15,726 - No, of course not. - So, what is it? 323 00:17:17,019 --> 00:17:19,271 Everything was fine until he got checked out. 324 00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:21,857 Why did he have to get checked out? 325 00:17:22,065 --> 00:17:23,317 Why is that such a problem? 326 00:17:23,525 --> 00:17:26,945 Because, you know, Doug was always like, the funny one, you know. 327 00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:28,947 The guy who makes everybody laugh at parties. 328 00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:30,657 And I was the one who got checked out. 329 00:17:30,824 --> 00:17:34,536 Now he's getting checked out too? I mean, he's got it all. 330 00:17:36,204 --> 00:17:38,874 So you're unhappy because your husband is funny and hot? 331 00:17:40,584 --> 00:17:42,336 Yes. 332 00:17:48,842 --> 00:17:50,260 Douglas, hello. 333 00:17:50,427 --> 00:17:51,970 Hey. 334 00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:54,348 Why so glum, chum? 335 00:17:57,267 --> 00:17:58,393 Long story. 336 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:02,981 Well, fortunately, I have nowhere to be for the next eight and a half days. 337 00:18:07,569 --> 00:18:08,820 I'm just an idiot. 338 00:18:08,987 --> 00:18:11,865 Some waitress asked about my situation, 339 00:18:12,032 --> 00:18:16,328 so for a day I was walking around here like I was hot crap. 340 00:18:17,037 --> 00:18:20,082 Ah, it's a powerful tonic when a member of the fairer sex 341 00:18:20,249 --> 00:18:24,419 casts an admiring glance in your direction. 342 00:18:25,837 --> 00:18:27,756 Big knockers? 343 00:18:39,351 --> 00:18:43,313 Well, don't feel too badly, Douglas. The same thing happened to me once. 344 00:18:43,939 --> 00:18:46,066 - Really? - Sure. 345 00:18:46,275 --> 00:18:47,609 Many years ago, I was at a party 346 00:18:47,776 --> 00:18:51,363 where I encountered a beautiful young starlet. 347 00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:55,325 She had just finished shooting Picnic with William Holden. 348 00:18:55,492 --> 00:18:59,913 She played Girl With Watermelon. 349 00:19:01,582 --> 00:19:04,209 I think you know who I'm talking about. 350 00:19:05,586 --> 00:19:07,921 I'm sorry, I have no idea. 351 00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:12,467 Oh, you'll know when I say the name, Phyllis McCrane. 352 00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:17,097 Still nothing. 353 00:19:18,932 --> 00:19:21,602 One of the McCrane Sisters? 354 00:19:22,436 --> 00:19:24,479 Oh, yeah, Phyllis and the other one. 355 00:19:24,646 --> 00:19:26,898 - The other two. - The other two. Right, right. 356 00:19:27,065 --> 00:19:29,568 Well, anyway, it seemed as though Phyllis was flirting with me 357 00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,945 throughout the entire party. 358 00:19:32,112 --> 00:19:35,115 - Yeah, but she wasn't? - Oh, she certainly was. 359 00:19:35,324 --> 00:19:40,329 We wound up making love in her beach house till the sun came up. 360 00:19:40,537 --> 00:19:41,705 Why are you telling me this? 361 00:19:41,872 --> 00:19:43,457 That's not close to what happened to me. 362 00:19:43,624 --> 00:19:46,627 Hey, just because you whiffed, don't take it out on me. 363 00:19:59,514 --> 00:20:01,099 Hey, sexy. 364 00:20:01,558 --> 00:20:02,601 Yeah, I am, okay. 365 00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:04,269 What exactly about me does it for you? 366 00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:06,521 What lights you up? What is it? 367 00:20:06,688 --> 00:20:09,024 That I can burp on command 368 00:20:09,191 --> 00:20:12,194 or the way my stomach jiggles when I brush my teeth? 369 00:20:15,572 --> 00:20:20,118 - What happened to you? - You were right, you know. 370 00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:22,412 I was back down at Cooper's 371 00:20:22,579 --> 00:20:24,289 and that waitress wouldn't even look at me. 372 00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:26,333 She couldn't have cared less. 373 00:20:26,541 --> 00:20:30,504 I got no heat, I got no juice, I got nothing. 374 00:20:30,712 --> 00:20:33,006 - Doug, I wasn't right. - You were. 375 00:20:33,215 --> 00:20:34,800 No, I was wrong. 376 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:37,386 Look, I bet the only reason why Jill isn't into you anymore 377 00:20:37,552 --> 00:20:38,971 is because she knows you're married. 378 00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:40,555 You're off the market. 379 00:20:42,099 --> 00:20:44,142 Yeah. Doug, you are hot. 380 00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:46,895 People ask about you all the time. 381 00:20:47,104 --> 00:20:50,315 - Like who? - A secretary from my office. 382 00:20:51,233 --> 00:20:52,276 Andrea? 383 00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:54,278 No. Jeff. 384 00:20:58,115 --> 00:20:59,157 What? 385 00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:01,243 - Jeff? - Yes. 386 00:21:01,410 --> 00:21:05,163 Gay people have great taste, they're very body conscious. 387 00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:07,082 It's all about the body for them. 388 00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,711 That's true. 389 00:21:11,420 --> 00:21:13,463 So why don't we both admit 390 00:21:13,630 --> 00:21:17,884 that we got a little carried away and just move on. 391 00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:21,847 Okay, you're right. I love you. 392 00:21:22,889 --> 00:21:24,766 - I love you too, sweetie. - Come here. 393 00:21:34,192 --> 00:21:35,444 So... 394 00:21:35,611 --> 00:21:38,280 What exactly did Jeff say? 395 00:21:43,725 --> 00:21:45,602 You've reached the McCrane Sisters. 396 00:21:45,769 --> 00:21:47,270 - Phyllis. - Vivien. 397 00:21:47,437 --> 00:21:48,855 Theodora. 398 00:21:49,022 --> 00:21:53,735 Leave a message at the beep 399 00:21:53,902 --> 00:21:57,238 Phyllis, it's Biffy Spooner from 44 years ago. 400 00:21:57,405 --> 00:21:59,699 Give me a ringy-ding back.