1 00:00:07,206 --> 00:00:09,642 Douglas, will you please pass the cats up? 2 00:00:10,204 --> 00:00:11,204 The what? 3 00:00:11,257 --> 00:00:12,634 The cats up. 4 00:00:16,976 --> 00:00:19,210 You mean the ketchup? 5 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:25,123 Educated people pronounce it cats up. 6 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:28,060 Not if they want me to pass it to them. 7 00:00:28,144 --> 00:00:29,995 Fine. If that's the way you're going to be, 8 00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:31,463 then I'll do without. 9 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,766 Not gonna happen, old man. 10 00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:36,000 My burger's getting cold. 11 00:00:36,068 --> 00:00:37,269 Just give me the cats up! 12 00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:38,637 Ok, it's called ketchup. 13 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,606 Say it right and you can have it. No. 14 00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:42,574 Say it. Say it. No. 15 00:00:42,659 --> 00:00:43,608 I will never say it. 16 00:00:43,676 --> 00:00:46,778 I'd rather die than say it. 17 00:00:46,830 --> 00:00:49,098 Then she's staying over here. 18 00:00:49,165 --> 00:00:52,344 Me llamo ketchup. 19 00:00:52,368 --> 00:00:53,869 Fine. 20 00:00:53,936 --> 00:00:55,871 Then just say good-bye to these. 21 00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,740 Why you gotta do that? 22 00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,519 You want the cats up, you can have the cats up. 23 00:01:00,543 --> 00:01:02,143 Here. God. 24 00:01:04,547 --> 00:01:05,481 Thank you. That's enough. 25 00:01:05,548 --> 00:01:06,648 Ok, good. 26 00:01:06,716 --> 00:01:09,935 That's enough. That's enough. 27 00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:11,269 That's enough! 28 00:01:11,337 --> 00:01:12,021 Oh, is that enough? 29 00:01:12,088 --> 00:01:13,408 Yes, that's enough. That's enough. 30 00:01:13,472 --> 00:01:15,173 Than say it! Say-say it! 31 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,775 What? Say what?! 32 00:01:16,843 --> 00:01:17,910 What's it called?! 33 00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:20,245 Ketchup! 34 00:01:24,016 --> 00:01:27,085 And that's how we learn. 35 00:02:02,806 --> 00:02:04,439 All right, what's next? 36 00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:08,911 "Put bracket c facing left front quarter. 37 00:02:08,979 --> 00:02:12,514 Turn to align with rear bracing leg." 38 00:02:15,619 --> 00:02:17,352 What? 39 00:02:17,454 --> 00:02:18,603 I think it means the seat 40 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:21,223 is supposed to connect to bracket c. 41 00:02:21,291 --> 00:02:23,042 There's already a wheel in bracket c. 42 00:02:23,109 --> 00:02:24,342 It's supposed to be the seat. 43 00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:25,521 Yeah, well, that ship has sailed. 44 00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:28,080 Come on, give me something to put in slot h. 45 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,449 I- I'd put the seat there. 46 00:02:32,869 --> 00:02:36,705 Put this right here, right like that. 47 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:42,210 Yeah, see? All done. 48 00:02:42,279 --> 00:02:44,329 All right. That's right. 49 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,558 All right, by the way, major's not gonna be getting 50 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,226 the greatest birthday present from us either. 51 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,752 We're a little short on the dough-re-mi. 52 00:02:49,819 --> 00:02:50,669 Oh, yeah. 53 00:02:50,820 --> 00:02:53,054 How's Carrie's job hunt going? 54 00:02:53,122 --> 00:02:54,232 She's getting a little desperate. 55 00:02:54,256 --> 00:02:55,740 Next time you call a phone sex line, 56 00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:57,443 be nice just in case. 57 00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:01,446 Coming. 58 00:03:03,783 --> 00:03:04,850 Hi, dad. 59 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:05,978 Hey, guys. You have a good time? 60 00:03:06,002 --> 00:03:08,554 We made Jesse's hamster fly. 61 00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,055 Really? Well, he flew briefly. 62 00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,758 Let's just say he'll be off the wheel for a while. 63 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,210 You want to see my room? 64 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,130 Hey, Sean. This is my friend Doug Heffernan. 65 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,564 Doug Heffernan? 66 00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:21,066 Did you go to Saint Gregory's? 67 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,251 Yeah. 68 00:03:22,318 --> 00:03:23,986 It's me. Sean McGee. 69 00:03:24,054 --> 00:03:25,837 Oh, hey, man. Hi! 70 00:03:25,905 --> 00:03:28,256 Hi! Hi! How's it going? 71 00:03:28,325 --> 00:03:29,257 Good. 72 00:03:29,326 --> 00:03:32,828 Ah, all white guys do know each other. 73 00:03:32,895 --> 00:03:35,464 Small world. What have you been up to? 74 00:03:35,532 --> 00:03:37,783 Just working with Deacon down at I.P.S. 75 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:39,835 That's great. I'm a d.A. Over in queens county. 76 00:03:39,903 --> 00:03:41,670 You know, putting away the bad guys. 77 00:03:41,738 --> 00:03:43,321 Hey, dead man walking, right? 78 00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:47,358 Listen, I gotta go. Hey, Jess! 79 00:03:47,426 --> 00:03:49,228 Great to see you. 80 00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:50,229 Are you gonna be at major's party? 81 00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:51,463 Yup. I'll see you over there. 82 00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:52,932 Take care, Deac. Take care, man. 83 00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:54,633 Hey, you take care, Doug. 84 00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:56,535 I'll see you later. Be good. 85 00:03:58,788 --> 00:04:01,874 I hate that son of a bitch. 86 00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:03,542 What?! 87 00:04:03,609 --> 00:04:05,243 It was seventh grade. 88 00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:06,605 I was in the cafeteria, and I accidentally threw out 89 00:04:06,629 --> 00:04:08,630 my six million dollar man thermos top. 90 00:04:08,698 --> 00:04:10,799 So I'm going through the garbage looking for it, 91 00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:13,451 and Sean McGee told everybody that I... 92 00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:16,354 Licked the trash can. 93 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,328 Did you lick it? 94 00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:24,562 No! Why would I lick a trash can? 95 00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:25,313 I don't know. The same reason 96 00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,766 you lick the top of the pizza box. 97 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,145 That's completely different, all right? 98 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:30,569 That's not trash yet. 99 00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:32,588 Anyway, he spread this around the whole school, 100 00:04:32,655 --> 00:04:33,923 and for the entire year, 101 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,653 everybody called me Doug heffer-can. 102 00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:39,621 All right, look, I'm gonna see Sean on Wednesday night. 103 00:04:39,645 --> 00:04:41,913 I'll be sure to stay away from any trash cans. 104 00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,582 Wait a second. 105 00:04:43,649 --> 00:04:45,184 I just told you this guy is my enemy, 106 00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:47,219 and you're gonna hang out with him? 107 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:48,303 I'm not in love with the guy. 108 00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:49,448 We're just playing racquetball. 109 00:04:49,472 --> 00:04:51,083 Nobody else plays. What am I supposed to do? 110 00:04:51,107 --> 00:04:53,308 Don't play with Sean McGee. Play with me! 111 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,526 You don't play. 112 00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:58,147 Don't play? What, are you on pot? 113 00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:00,215 I love racquetball. 114 00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:02,100 Yeah? What color are the balls? 115 00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:03,585 They vary. 116 00:05:05,437 --> 00:05:06,187 Look, give me a chance, all right? 117 00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:07,482 If I don't give you a good game, 118 00:05:07,506 --> 00:05:10,675 you can go play with your friend Sean mcgay. 119 00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:15,780 Damn, I wish I'd thought of that in junior high. 120 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,491 Yeah. 121 00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:27,643 Yeah, I feel it. 122 00:05:27,710 --> 00:05:29,388 Ok, next time you have to stretch like that, 123 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:32,280 I'm gonna have to ask you to wear longer shorts. 124 00:05:32,348 --> 00:05:34,432 Yeah? And I'm gonna have to ask you to stand back 125 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,034 because it's punish time. 126 00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:37,179 You're about to be acquainted 127 00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:41,589 with my good friends Hugh and Millie yayshin. 128 00:05:44,476 --> 00:05:46,712 Wassup? 129 00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:19,912 All right, I admit it, man. 130 00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:21,713 You got game. Really? 131 00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:24,098 I think someone owes me an apology. 132 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,551 Oh, God. 133 00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,453 Damn! 134 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,572 All right, my serve. 135 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,741 I think we're done here. 136 00:06:32,808 --> 00:06:35,677 Come on, that's fine. Throw a little sawdust on it. 137 00:06:35,745 --> 00:06:36,945 Where you going? 138 00:06:37,047 --> 00:06:39,214 You're gonna call your boyfriend, aren't you? 139 00:06:39,281 --> 00:06:40,542 At least he can play 4 points without showing me 140 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,100 what he had at the snack bar. 141 00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,052 Fine! I don't need you! 142 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,621 - But know this. - If you're friends with my enemy, 143 00:06:46,689 --> 00:06:49,157 then you're my enemy! 144 00:06:49,225 --> 00:06:51,860 Oh, God. 145 00:06:54,897 --> 00:06:58,567 So, uh, with Deacon gone, how's this gonna work? 146 00:06:58,634 --> 00:07:01,253 Does everybody just move up a slot, friend-wise? 147 00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:03,721 No. 148 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:06,325 Well, I just mean, you know, 149 00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:07,836 there was stuff you used to do with Deacon, 150 00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:10,228 so I guess you'll be doing it with one of us now. 151 00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:12,948 No. 152 00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,599 All right, that's cool. 153 00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:17,635 Status quo. 154 00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:19,805 God, I really miss Deac. 155 00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:22,007 I mean, the way he got such a kick 156 00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:24,742 out of these bud light commercials. 157 00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:26,511 There's a certain kind of magic 158 00:07:26,578 --> 00:07:30,081 when a gentle giant laughs. 159 00:07:36,672 --> 00:07:37,706 Hey. 160 00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:40,208 What are you doing here? 161 00:07:40,276 --> 00:07:41,709 Just came to get my camcorder back. 162 00:07:41,777 --> 00:07:43,878 I need it for my kid's party tomorrow. 163 00:07:43,913 --> 00:07:45,814 Help yourself. It's in the garage. 164 00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:47,265 The garage? Huh. 165 00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:49,351 Thanks for taking such good care of it. 166 00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,637 Hey, Deac. 167 00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:54,806 What's up? 168 00:07:54,924 --> 00:07:57,025 Ok, put your eyes back in your head. 169 00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,811 Hello. 170 00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:01,246 Hi. 171 00:08:01,297 --> 00:08:01,946 Got a registered letter. 172 00:08:02,098 --> 00:08:03,765 Gonna need you to sign for it. 173 00:08:05,968 --> 00:08:07,246 Hey, why don't you come in for a second? 174 00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:08,346 You know, I never sign anything 175 00:08:08,370 --> 00:08:10,082 without checking over the fine print anyway. 176 00:08:10,106 --> 00:08:12,184 'Cause the next thing you know, I'm somebody's Butler for life. 177 00:08:12,208 --> 00:08:13,842 You know what I'm saying? 178 00:08:13,909 --> 00:08:15,393 Not at all, no. 179 00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:16,929 It's just a standard letter. 180 00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:17,679 It's all right. Come on in. 181 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,681 Come on, we'll check it out. 182 00:08:19,748 --> 00:08:21,343 Just take a seat right here. Danny, get up. 183 00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:23,602 Ok, but I only got a minute. 184 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:24,903 Well, that's ok. 185 00:08:24,970 --> 00:08:27,472 "Doug Heffernan." 186 00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:29,408 So far, so good. 187 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,276 Listen, I really got to hit the road here. 188 00:08:31,343 --> 00:08:33,878 Hit the road, man? You kill me, bro! 189 00:08:33,946 --> 00:08:35,747 Oh, this is so awkward. 190 00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:41,619 What is? 191 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:42,998 You just walking in when I'm hanging out 192 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:48,794 with my new friend... Melvin... uspo. 193 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,496 As in United States post office? 194 00:08:52,482 --> 00:08:53,982 That's right, come sleet or snow, 195 00:08:54,049 --> 00:08:56,618 he's my buddy. Wassup? 196 00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:01,099 So you're trying to replace me with another black guy. 197 00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:02,724 That's-that's classy. 198 00:09:02,791 --> 00:09:05,171 Hey, I don't care if my best friend's black, white, or purple, ok? 199 00:09:05,195 --> 00:09:07,762 As long as he's got my back. Ain't that right, Melvin? 200 00:09:07,831 --> 00:09:09,071 Actually, I gotta hit the road. 201 00:09:09,098 --> 00:09:10,899 Listen, sign that slip whenever. 202 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,000 I'll pick it up tomorrow. 203 00:09:12,068 --> 00:09:13,568 It is a date, amigo. 204 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:14,402 Yeah! 205 00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:15,753 Hey, Knicks fan. 206 00:09:15,821 --> 00:09:17,381 Marbury's doing a nice job for 'em, huh? 207 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:19,057 Yeah, I tell you, though, I miss spree. 208 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,325 I heard that. 209 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,503 I'm actually heading over to Cooper's 210 00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:22,527 to catch the second half. 211 00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:23,528 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 212 00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:25,076 Oh, maybe I'll stop by after my route. 213 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:28,667 What are you doing? 214 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,435 Trying to jazz up my resume, 215 00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,270 see if I can get a law firm to notice me. 216 00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:33,605 How's this sound? 217 00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:37,325 "Cleavage available upon request." 218 00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,011 It sounds good. Give it a try. 219 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,446 What's the matter with you? 220 00:09:41,513 --> 00:09:43,714 Friggin' Deacon. 221 00:09:43,782 --> 00:09:45,077 He's hanging out with my arch-enemy. 222 00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:46,602 Their kids go to school together. 223 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,371 You have an arch-enemy? 224 00:09:49,439 --> 00:09:50,822 Yeah, Sean McGee. 225 00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:52,223 In seventh grade, he told everyone 226 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:55,560 I licked a trash can. 227 00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:57,462 Did you? 228 00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,231 No. 229 00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:00,898 Why would I lick a trash can? 230 00:10:00,966 --> 00:10:02,094 I don't know. Didn't you once tell me 231 00:10:02,118 --> 00:10:05,253 you ate that feed they have at petting zoos? 232 00:10:06,755 --> 00:10:09,224 My sister told me if I did, I could grow a mustache. 233 00:10:15,097 --> 00:10:16,764 It's not the point, ok? 234 00:10:16,832 --> 00:10:18,633 I didn't lick a trash can. 235 00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:19,962 Well, you know what? You better get over it 236 00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:21,687 before major's birthday party tomorrow 237 00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:23,922 because I don't want to have any awkward scenes. 238 00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:24,789 There ain't gonna be any awkward scenes 239 00:10:24,941 --> 00:10:26,118 'cause I ain't going to any party 240 00:10:26,142 --> 00:10:27,608 that Sean McGee's gonna be at. 241 00:10:27,676 --> 00:10:28,777 Doug, come on. 242 00:10:28,844 --> 00:10:31,947 This is over a quarter of a century ago! 243 00:10:32,014 --> 00:10:34,182 Are you kidding me? Am I hearing this right? 244 00:10:34,249 --> 00:10:35,984 You're telling me I can't have one enemy? 245 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,219 Let's go over your enemy list, huh? 246 00:10:38,287 --> 00:10:39,837 What are you talking about? 247 00:10:39,905 --> 00:10:41,433 Lorenzo's pizzeria. I can't go there anymore 248 00:10:41,457 --> 00:10:42,601 because you had a fight with the guy 249 00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:44,345 because he put too much cheese on our pizza. 250 00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:45,660 Too much cheese. 251 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,313 Insanity! 252 00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,833 Or how about San Remo dry cleaners, huh, 253 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,736 where that little Chinese girl sassed you? 254 00:10:54,804 --> 00:10:56,355 Yeah, I may not have understood her, 255 00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:58,991 but she was all attitude. 256 00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:00,442 The point is, I support you 257 00:11:00,509 --> 00:11:01,977 in everything you hate. 258 00:11:02,045 --> 00:11:04,046 You know, the restaurants, the stores, 259 00:11:04,113 --> 00:11:06,048 magicians! 260 00:11:06,115 --> 00:11:07,582 If you hate it, I hate it. 261 00:11:07,650 --> 00:11:10,052 So why can't you back me up on this one thing? 262 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,554 - All right, you know, you. - You're right. 263 00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:15,389 If Sean McGee is your enemy, 264 00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:17,726 then he is my enemy, too. 265 00:11:17,793 --> 00:11:18,426 Thank you. 266 00:11:18,494 --> 00:11:20,612 So we're not going to major's party? 267 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:21,959 We're not going to major's party. 268 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,414 Ok, I guess I'll go over there 269 00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:25,733 and drop off major's gift tonight. 270 00:11:25,801 --> 00:11:28,053 Wait a second. Is it something I might want? 271 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,739 Doug, it's a pair of feety pajamas. 272 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:36,128 Does it have a back-flap? 273 00:11:40,984 --> 00:11:43,138 All right, well, thanks for the game. Take care, man. 274 00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:44,853 Oh, sorry. Excuse me. 275 00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:46,388 I'm sorry. Let me get that. 276 00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:47,756 Thank you. 277 00:11:47,824 --> 00:11:49,091 "From Doug and Carrie." 278 00:11:49,159 --> 00:11:51,327 Are you married to Doug Heffernan? 279 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,378 Yeah. 280 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:53,295 I'm Sean McGee. 281 00:11:53,363 --> 00:11:54,557 I went to school with your husband. 282 00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:58,200 Oh... yes. 283 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,536 Sean McGee. I know all about you. 284 00:12:01,671 --> 00:12:02,320 What does that mean? 285 00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:03,905 I think you know what it means. 286 00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:06,541 Let me tell you something, Sean. 287 00:12:06,609 --> 00:12:08,510 You mess with Doug, you mess with me. 288 00:12:08,578 --> 00:12:10,112 Ok, you don't want to mess with me 289 00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,909 because I will take you down, ok? 290 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:17,319 This is about the trash can thing, isn't it? Yeah. 291 00:12:17,386 --> 00:12:18,898 Deacon told me he was still upset about it. 292 00:12:18,922 --> 00:12:20,588 I just feel terrible about that. 293 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:21,690 As well you should. 294 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:22,558 When I saw him lick that thing, 295 00:12:22,626 --> 00:12:24,927 I really should have just kept it to myself. 296 00:12:25,028 --> 00:12:28,747 Wait a minute. So he really did lick it? 297 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:31,416 Oh, yeah. A couple of times. 298 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,480 I should have just kept my mouth shut, though. 299 00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:35,815 Just tell him I'm sorry, would you? 300 00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,005 I gotta get out of here. 301 00:12:37,073 --> 00:12:39,124 I got 4 big cases I'm prosecuting, 302 00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:40,826 and my secretary just quit. 303 00:12:40,877 --> 00:12:42,727 Oh, you're a lawyer? Yeah. 304 00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:44,179 And your secretary just quit? 305 00:12:44,247 --> 00:12:45,447 Yeah, a couple days ago. 306 00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:46,592 I don't know how I'm gonna replace her. 307 00:12:46,616 --> 00:12:48,583 Oh, 'cause I used to be a legal secretary. 308 00:12:48,651 --> 00:12:53,005 Yeah, I was at Kaplan, Hornstein & Steckler. 309 00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:54,907 Oh, it's a good firm. I've heard of them. 310 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,251 Well, I would ask you to come in 311 00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,576 and, you know, do an interview, 312 00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,444 but we have a policy against hiring people 313 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,413 who want to "take me down." 314 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,181 That's funny. 315 00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:03,665 Hang on. 316 00:13:03,733 --> 00:13:05,401 Sean, I'll walk with you, babe. 317 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:09,888 I can't believe this. 318 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,056 He is my enemy. 319 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,824 I couldn't have been more clear about that! 320 00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:14,542 Yes, and isn't that what they say? 321 00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:18,546 "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer"? 322 00:13:18,614 --> 00:13:23,602 This way I can keep tabs on him 24/7. 323 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:26,038 I can take him down from the inside! 324 00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:27,706 You know what, this is not happening. 325 00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,074 There's no way. 326 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,476 Doug, I can't believe you're not gonna let me take a job 327 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:35,413 because you licked a trash can when you were 12. 328 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:40,518 Are you telling me you think I licked that trash can? 329 00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:42,704 Look, all I know is Sean is pretty convinced 330 00:13:42,772 --> 00:13:44,172 in what he saw. 331 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,024 And you believe him over me? 332 00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:46,825 Look, I don't know, maybe there was 333 00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:48,310 something good on the trash can! 334 00:13:48,378 --> 00:13:52,081 You know, some leftover sloppy Joe, some chocolate sauce. 335 00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:53,382 Who can blame ya? 336 00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:56,334 I never licked it, ok? For the last time, 337 00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:58,637 my head was in that trash can because I was looking for 338 00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:01,206 my six million dollar man thermos top! 339 00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:03,391 Look, you licked it, you didn't lick it, 340 00:14:03,459 --> 00:14:05,026 what's the difference? 341 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,095 There's a big difference! 342 00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:09,848 One way, I licked a trash can! 343 00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:11,049 The other way, I didn't! 344 00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:13,084 And I didn't. 345 00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:16,354 Ok, and Sean feels really bad about this. 346 00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:17,756 Please, just come to the party 347 00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:20,525 and let Sean make it up to you. 348 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:23,528 I will not step foot at any party 349 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:26,899 or anywhere else that man will be. 350 00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:28,734 He is my enemy, 351 00:14:28,802 --> 00:14:31,436 and now you are my enemy. 352 00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:34,790 Ok, you know what, you are being ridiculous. 353 00:14:34,857 --> 00:14:37,426 I am gonna go live in a world with adults. 354 00:14:37,493 --> 00:14:39,093 You can stay in the seventh grade 355 00:14:39,161 --> 00:14:41,029 and lick your trash cans by yourself. 356 00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:42,897 Traitor! 357 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:45,100 Trash can licker! 358 00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:49,838 Ok, I'm off to major's party. 359 00:14:49,905 --> 00:14:51,807 You know, you can still come. 360 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,759 Hmm, thanks. Nah, I think I'll stay home 361 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:57,328 and enjoy my extra cheesy Lorenzo's pizza. 362 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:02,000 Whoops. I got a little cheese on my shirt. 363 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,311 That's no problem because I know 364 00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:06,171 a little sassy Chinese girl who'll get that right out. 365 00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:16,782 Ooh, pizza pie. May I? 366 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,060 Yeah, you can have the rest, actually. 367 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,552 It's pretty bad. 368 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:23,021 Well, I know what you're eating. 369 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:26,791 My question is, what's eating you? 370 00:15:27,977 --> 00:15:30,912 Just Deacon and Carrie. 371 00:15:30,980 --> 00:15:33,081 What's the problem? 372 00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:35,083 In seventh grade, I had this enemy, 373 00:15:35,151 --> 00:15:38,720 and, well, Carrie and Deacon are siding 374 00:15:38,788 --> 00:15:40,255 with him over me. 375 00:15:40,322 --> 00:15:41,951 What's your beef with this fellow? 376 00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:46,444 He told everyone I licked a trash can. 377 00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:49,630 Did you? 378 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:53,368 No, but he told everyone I did. 379 00:15:53,436 --> 00:15:56,304 Douglas, there's no shame 380 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,673 in being a trash can licker. 381 00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:03,529 Never licked it. 382 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,997 Well, I know from whence you come. 383 00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:08,667 I, too, had a boyhood enemy. 384 00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:10,135 He got me kicked out of school 385 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:15,407 when he claimed I stole his moe berg baseball card. 386 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,092 Why did he say that? 387 00:16:17,159 --> 00:16:19,611 Well, because I had stolen it. 388 00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:22,847 I loved it, and I wanted it for myself. 389 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,735 Anyway, do you know who this pale kid 390 00:16:26,803 --> 00:16:30,355 with the big mouth turned out to be? 391 00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:34,125 TV journalist and celebrity suckhound 392 00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,595 Larry King. 393 00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,684 Ok, great. Thanks for the talk. 394 00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:45,853 My point is when he became a success 395 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,572 I was mad at everyone but him. 396 00:16:47,639 --> 00:16:50,058 CNN, his sponsors, 397 00:16:50,126 --> 00:16:53,611 the suspender industry. 398 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,648 If I had just focused on hating him, 399 00:16:56,715 --> 00:17:00,752 I would have saved myself a lot of heartache. 400 00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:02,787 You know what? You're right. 401 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,023 Sean McGee's my problem here. 402 00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:06,224 I'm going to major's party. 403 00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:07,402 I'm gonna take care of this right now. 404 00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:08,693 Whoa, whoa. Hold the phone. 405 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,461 Major's having a party? 406 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,230 Yeah. 407 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,282 And I wasn't invited? 408 00:17:13,349 --> 00:17:18,370 That fickle little bastard just crossed the wrong guy. 409 00:17:27,363 --> 00:17:28,563 What are you doing here? 410 00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:30,999 I came down to take care of a little business. 411 00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:33,378 Am I gonna have to kick your ass 412 00:17:33,402 --> 00:17:34,836 at my kid's birthday party? 413 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:37,339 No, no, we're cool. 414 00:17:37,407 --> 00:17:39,958 I just need to have a little chat with... 415 00:17:40,176 --> 00:17:42,394 Sean McGee. 416 00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,330 Hey, Sean! 417 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,608 Would you come on down for a second? 418 00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:47,732 I need to talk to you. 419 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:48,600 Could we do it later? 420 00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:50,061 I'm trying to play with my kid here. 421 00:17:50,085 --> 00:17:51,152 No, not later. 422 00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:52,354 Now. 423 00:17:52,421 --> 00:17:54,255 Just give me 5 minutes. 424 00:18:17,947 --> 00:18:19,714 Hey. 425 00:18:21,050 --> 00:18:23,094 Hey, you're not supposed to be wearing shoes up here. 426 00:18:23,118 --> 00:18:25,253 Whatever. Look, I know. 427 00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:27,232 Carrie's gonna be working for you, and that's great. 428 00:18:27,256 --> 00:18:31,059 It's just I think we need to clear the air between us first. 429 00:18:31,126 --> 00:18:33,478 Doug, about all that, I know it's no excuse, 430 00:18:33,545 --> 00:18:35,313 but I was a stupid kid, all right? 431 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:38,349 I'm sorry I told everybody you licked a trash can. 432 00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:40,051 Really? 433 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,169 Yeah, I feel terrible 434 00:18:41,236 --> 00:18:43,156 you've been carrying that around all these years. 435 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:46,140 You know, I just hope you accept my apology. 436 00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:49,060 Well, yeah, I do. 437 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,795 Thanks for saying something. 438 00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:52,063 No problem. 439 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,465 See you around the piñata. 440 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:54,533 Ok. 441 00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:59,037 Wait. 442 00:19:00,789 --> 00:19:03,458 I just want to clear something up here. 443 00:19:03,525 --> 00:19:04,709 What, Doug? 444 00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:06,355 You said you were sorry you told everyone 445 00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:09,114 that I licked the trash can. 446 00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:11,199 But you never apologized for making up the fact 447 00:19:11,266 --> 00:19:12,400 that I licked it. 448 00:19:12,468 --> 00:19:15,537 But you did. No, I didn't. 449 00:19:15,604 --> 00:19:17,872 Doug, I saw you lick the trash can. 450 00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:20,007 Ok, for the last time, I was looking for 451 00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:22,377 my six million dollar man thermos top. 452 00:19:22,445 --> 00:19:25,379 Can I just play with my kid? 453 00:19:25,447 --> 00:19:26,380 Excuse me. 454 00:19:26,448 --> 00:19:28,116 It's ok. I work here. 455 00:19:29,384 --> 00:19:30,462 Look, you can play with your kid 456 00:19:30,486 --> 00:19:31,336 as soon as you admit to me 457 00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:32,821 that I didn't lick it. 458 00:19:32,888 --> 00:19:34,939 Ok, you didn't lick the trash can. 459 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,609 Ok, I'm sorry I made that up. 460 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:41,396 Ok, you just said "made it up" as if it were in quotes. 461 00:19:41,464 --> 00:19:42,557 Doug, this is ridiculous, ok? 462 00:19:42,581 --> 00:19:43,949 Can we please forget it? 463 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,317 Are you hungry? 464 00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:46,494 Because I think I saw some pudding 465 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:47,518 in the garbage over there 466 00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:48,997 and it had your name written all over it, 467 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,688 heffer-can. 468 00:20:02,718 --> 00:20:04,552 Admit it! Admit it! 469 00:20:04,654 --> 00:20:06,354 Admit I didn't lick it! 470 00:20:06,421 --> 00:20:07,421 Heffer-can! 471 00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,125 Heffer-can! 472 00:20:10,192 --> 00:20:11,826 No! No! 473 00:20:11,894 --> 00:20:12,894 Trash sucker! 474 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:16,131 No! No such thing never happened! 475 00:20:18,868 --> 00:20:21,569 Hey, did you see Sean? 476 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,219 Oh, my God. 477 00:20:42,474 --> 00:20:43,541 Hey. 478 00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:49,197 Crap. 479 00:21:04,046 --> 00:21:05,814 How could you? 480 00:21:05,882 --> 00:21:07,782 You know I would have loved this.