1 00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,790 Okay, hon. All right, then I'll see you around 10. 2 00:00:06,997 --> 00:00:08,159 All right. Bye-bye. 3 00:00:08,373 --> 00:00:10,373 Listen, Carrie's not gonna make it home for dinner. 4 00:00:10,582 --> 00:00:11,862 So I'm gonna order us some pizza. 5 00:00:12,083 --> 00:00:14,039 - From where? - From Sal's. 6 00:00:14,292 --> 00:00:16,698 Sal's? Have you lost your mind? 7 00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:19,540 Okay, not Sal's. Then from where? 8 00:00:19,794 --> 00:00:22,544 A little neighbourhood joint called Domino's. 9 00:00:27,922 --> 00:00:29,996 Domino's? 10 00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:32,588 Yeah, that's it. 11 00:00:33,632 --> 00:00:34,792 All right, what's the number? 12 00:00:35,007 --> 00:00:38,505 It's 1-718-11-68-011. 13 00:00:39,676 --> 00:00:43,052 All right, look, I have way too many numbers, okay? 14 00:00:43,089 --> 00:00:44,510 I gave you the area code. 15 00:00:44,761 --> 00:00:47,464 We're in the area code. I don't need to dial it. 16 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:50,174 - Okay, ready? - I'm ready. 17 00:00:50,430 --> 00:00:51,430 One-one-68- 18 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,553 Okay, you know what? 19 00:00:55,015 --> 00:00:56,735 How about a little phone-number rhythm, huh? 20 00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,473 You know, a little: 21 00:01:02,267 --> 00:01:03,844 - Got it? - I got it. 22 00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:05,060 Okay. 23 00:01:05,268 --> 00:01:07,094 - One... - Yeah. 24 00:01:07,311 --> 00:01:08,311 - Six... - Yup. 25 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:09,977 Teen. 26 00:01:14,355 --> 00:01:18,220 I already DIALLED the six! I can't go back in time and slip a one in! 27 00:01:18,481 --> 00:01:21,053 Well, whose fault is that?! 28 00:01:23,608 --> 00:01:28,148 I'm making a sandwich. Why don't you order from McDonald's? 29 00:01:43,441 --> 00:01:47,139 Hi, I brought my engagement ring in to be cleaned a couple of days ago. 30 00:01:47,359 --> 00:01:49,481 Oh, yes, Mrs Heffernan, right? 31 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,228 - Yeah, that's right. - Hey, honey. 32 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:54,277 It's the 29th today. 33 00:01:55,070 --> 00:01:56,232 Thanks. 34 00:01:57,530 --> 00:01:58,691 So is it ready? 35 00:01:58,947 --> 00:01:59,947 Oh, yes. 36 00:02:00,156 --> 00:02:02,111 You know, this is quite an unusual ring. 37 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:03,816 Where did you purchase it? 38 00:02:04,074 --> 00:02:06,148 Actually, my husband bought it. He... 39 00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:16,363 Hey, husky. Come here. 40 00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:20,775 Where was the antique sale where you got this? 41 00:02:21,038 --> 00:02:25,614 Out in Hempstead. I got that and the iron dog that eats nickels. 42 00:02:25,873 --> 00:02:28,160 Would you mind if I ask what you paid? 43 00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:29,826 Two thousand. 44 00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:33,699 Well, Mr Heffernan, you got yourself an extraordinary bargain. 45 00:02:33,918 --> 00:02:36,241 Between the unusual setting and the stone itself, 46 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:39,661 this ring is easily worth $10,000. 47 00:02:40,670 --> 00:02:41,914 - What? - Get out of here. 48 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:43,326 Are you sure? 49 00:02:43,588 --> 00:02:46,421 Oh, yes, a rose-cut diamond in a pavé setting. 50 00:02:46,631 --> 00:02:48,088 Very rare. 51 00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:52,251 Wow, a rose-cut diamond in a pavé setting. 52 00:02:52,466 --> 00:02:56,591 You really fell ass-backwards into something, didn't you, hon? 53 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,217 I guess so. 54 00:02:58,426 --> 00:03:01,793 So any interest in selling it? 55 00:03:02,053 --> 00:03:03,297 No. 56 00:03:03,512 --> 00:03:06,345 I could go as high as 12,000. 57 00:03:07,847 --> 00:03:09,126 No. 58 00:03:09,347 --> 00:03:10,427 - No, right? - Right, right. 59 00:03:10,597 --> 00:03:12,157 - Yeah. Thank you, though. - No, no, no. 60 00:03:12,348 --> 00:03:15,217 Well, if you change your mind, let me know. 61 00:03:15,474 --> 00:03:16,672 Okay. 62 00:03:20,226 --> 00:03:24,173 I know, I'm really sporting quite the gem, huh? 63 00:03:24,436 --> 00:03:27,767 This thing makes your breasts look huge. 64 00:03:33,939 --> 00:03:35,516 Man, I gotta tell you, for 12 G's, 65 00:03:35,732 --> 00:03:38,933 I'd sell that ring with my wife still attached. 66 00:03:39,149 --> 00:03:41,271 Hey, it's not mine to sell, you know? 67 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:44,015 I gave it to her when I proposed. It's her ring. 68 00:03:44,235 --> 00:03:47,850 If I'd known it was this valuable, I would've held onto it. 69 00:03:48,111 --> 00:03:50,683 Come on, you could talk her into selling. 70 00:03:50,945 --> 00:03:52,688 - Are you crazy? - What? 71 00:03:52,946 --> 00:03:57,439 If he makes one move on that ring, she'll snap his neck... like a chicken. 72 00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,940 As well she should. 73 00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:02,404 You know, an engagement ring is supposed to be a symbol 74 00:04:02,616 --> 00:04:05,485 of a man's lifelong devotion to his wife. 75 00:04:05,742 --> 00:04:08,658 Yeah, well, today it's looking like a big bag of money. 76 00:04:10,286 --> 00:04:11,660 Think about it, Moose. 77 00:04:11,869 --> 00:04:14,703 With all that scratch, you could buy something you really been wanting. 78 00:04:15,162 --> 00:04:17,865 Like maybe a new satellite dish. 79 00:04:18,122 --> 00:04:20,528 Okay, I change my vote. Dump that sucker, man. 80 00:04:21,706 --> 00:04:23,662 It's not a vote. What do you care more about? 81 00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:26,619 Some stupid satellite dish or your marriage? 82 00:04:33,252 --> 00:04:36,085 Oh, hey, Daddy. I thought you were gonna take a nap. 83 00:04:36,295 --> 00:04:39,958 I tried, lucky I get three hours before the phone woke me up. 84 00:04:40,630 --> 00:04:43,297 I was having a good, sexy dream too. 85 00:04:43,506 --> 00:04:46,458 - Who was it? - At first it was Eydie Gormé. 86 00:04:46,674 --> 00:04:49,507 Then she turned into my cousin Lola. 87 00:04:49,758 --> 00:04:51,500 Okay, I meant who was on the phone. 88 00:04:51,717 --> 00:04:55,298 Oh, some guy named Elliott. 89 00:04:55,510 --> 00:04:57,383 Said he'd go as high as 13. 90 00:04:57,636 --> 00:04:59,462 Thirteen thousand? 91 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,510 Thirteen thousand for what? 92 00:05:01,762 --> 00:05:03,304 My engagement ring. 93 00:05:03,555 --> 00:05:05,013 You're selling your jewellery? 94 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,260 Why? You kids got a drug habit? 95 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,180 You got the monkey on your back? 96 00:05:12,016 --> 00:05:13,723 No, Dad, we've kicked. 97 00:05:15,267 --> 00:05:17,175 It just turns out that my engagement ring 98 00:05:17,393 --> 00:05:21,978 is worth a lot more than what Doug paid for it. 99 00:05:22,014 --> 00:05:23,555 So, what are you gonna do? Sell it? 100 00:05:23,812 --> 00:05:26,515 No, I'm not gonna sell it. It's my engagement ring. 101 00:05:26,730 --> 00:05:29,136 I love it. 102 00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:34,056 Well, you know, I love it because Doug gave it to me. 103 00:05:34,274 --> 00:05:37,605 The ring itself, a little busy for my taste. 104 00:05:37,817 --> 00:05:40,650 The whole butterfly motif. 105 00:05:40,860 --> 00:05:43,314 Basically, it's a diamond in a bug. 106 00:05:44,736 --> 00:05:46,562 I don't know what to do. 107 00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:48,236 All right, let me tell you something. 108 00:05:48,446 --> 00:05:49,987 Sit down. 109 00:05:50,196 --> 00:05:52,733 Let me tell you a little story. 110 00:05:52,947 --> 00:05:54,903 One day, back in '43, 111 00:05:55,115 --> 00:05:58,529 I was sitting at Chock Full O'Nuts eating a tuna sandwich. 112 00:05:58,741 --> 00:06:00,567 This fella comes up to me, shivering, 113 00:06:00,784 --> 00:06:03,451 and offers me $10 for my favourite fedora. 114 00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:05,900 Ten dollars. A fortune. 115 00:06:06,911 --> 00:06:09,696 In those days, you could buy a bag full of liquorice for a penny 116 00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:11,571 and still get change. 117 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,320 That's wrong, but... 118 00:06:15,122 --> 00:06:20,326 I told him, "Keep your $10," and I took him across the street 119 00:06:20,541 --> 00:06:23,872 and I bought him the liquorice that he wanted. 120 00:06:25,793 --> 00:06:28,460 I thought he wanted your fedora. 121 00:06:30,461 --> 00:06:32,701 How'd I get screwed up here? 122 00:06:38,630 --> 00:06:41,298 Hey, what you doing? You checking out the treasure? 123 00:06:42,007 --> 00:06:43,037 It is a treasure, honey. 124 00:06:43,257 --> 00:06:46,624 Not because of what it's worth, but because you gave it to me. 125 00:06:47,384 --> 00:06:50,401 - That is so nice. Thank you. - You're welcome. 126 00:06:50,438 --> 00:06:53,419 I can't believe that guy thought we'd sell it. 127 00:06:53,678 --> 00:06:56,084 I know, I mean, the one symbol of our love. 128 00:06:56,304 --> 00:06:59,552 Hello? Can't put a price tag on that. 129 00:06:59,805 --> 00:07:01,002 Of course not. 130 00:07:01,264 --> 00:07:03,220 I mean, maybe if the price tag were like 100,000, 131 00:07:03,431 --> 00:07:05,008 then yeah, maybe, right? 132 00:07:05,223 --> 00:07:06,681 Or even like 50,000. 133 00:07:06,932 --> 00:07:09,635 - Oh, 50, it's gone, babe. - Yeah, yeah, goodbye. 134 00:07:10,183 --> 00:07:12,590 But not for anything less than 50. 135 00:07:12,851 --> 00:07:15,519 Right, like if he said to me, you know, "Hey, I'll give you 25." 136 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,179 Right. Right. 137 00:07:17,394 --> 00:07:21,096 No. 138 00:07:23,188 --> 00:07:26,271 I don't know, like, 25 is like a new car. 139 00:07:26,523 --> 00:07:28,064 Yeah. 140 00:07:28,565 --> 00:07:29,845 You know, but he only offered 12. 141 00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:32,223 So, you know, just... That's it. 142 00:07:32,441 --> 00:07:36,851 Actually, he called and he upped it to 13. 143 00:07:37,443 --> 00:07:39,399 Thirteen? Really? 144 00:07:42,112 --> 00:07:44,399 - Yeah, but, you know, we couldn't. - No, definitely not. 145 00:07:44,613 --> 00:07:46,333 No, because it means too much to you, right? 146 00:07:46,530 --> 00:07:48,272 With all the sentimental value and whatnot. 147 00:07:48,531 --> 00:07:51,399 - And I know you love it. - Love it. 148 00:07:54,324 --> 00:07:56,778 - Although... - Yeah? 149 00:07:56,992 --> 00:07:59,695 The ring is just a thing, right? 150 00:07:59,910 --> 00:08:01,569 Right. 151 00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:03,611 I mean, suppose I lost the ring? 152 00:08:03,828 --> 00:08:06,399 - Would we stop loving each other? - Of course not. 153 00:08:06,662 --> 00:08:11,866 Or suppose I lost the ring and found $13,000? 154 00:08:12,539 --> 00:08:14,447 Would we stop loving each other then? 155 00:08:14,707 --> 00:08:21,959 Honey, I would love you no matter how much money you found. 156 00:08:21,996 --> 00:08:25,373 Thirteen thousand exactly. 157 00:08:26,002 --> 00:08:28,918 Just want you to know that this is going right in the bank, you know, 158 00:08:29,128 --> 00:08:31,036 for our future kids' college. 159 00:08:32,796 --> 00:08:34,622 First, I'm gonna get a new ring for her, 160 00:08:34,839 --> 00:08:37,708 and a hot tub, and a satellite dish, but then... 161 00:08:38,674 --> 00:08:40,665 everything left is going right in the bank. 162 00:08:40,924 --> 00:08:44,256 So have you selected a new ring? 163 00:08:44,509 --> 00:08:47,378 Yes, actually, I have. It's right over here. 164 00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:49,881 - That one. - Oh, lovely. 165 00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:52,335 - That one? - Yeah, isn't it nice? 166 00:08:53,137 --> 00:08:54,512 It's okay, I guess. 167 00:08:54,721 --> 00:08:55,752 Kind of simple, you know. 168 00:08:55,971 --> 00:08:58,425 It doesn't look like an animal or anything. 169 00:08:58,681 --> 00:09:00,139 I'll have to order it in your size. 170 00:09:00,348 --> 00:09:03,051 - We'll have it within a week. - Oh, okay, fine. 171 00:09:03,307 --> 00:09:05,299 And I'll be needing that. 172 00:09:05,808 --> 00:09:08,476 Oh, right. 173 00:09:10,227 --> 00:09:11,424 You okay? 174 00:09:11,644 --> 00:09:15,224 Yeah, I'm just looking at it one last time. 175 00:09:17,854 --> 00:09:20,723 Pass interference, number 33. 176 00:09:20,939 --> 00:09:23,309 First down, eight remaining. 177 00:09:23,523 --> 00:09:24,851 Should we go? 178 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,981 Why? Aren't you having a good time? 179 00:09:28,191 --> 00:09:31,526 Doug, the Jets are getting reamed and it's 2 degrees out. 180 00:09:31,562 --> 00:09:33,562 Oh, let's just stay a little bit longer, all right? 181 00:09:33,735 --> 00:09:36,106 Come on, please, please, please. Come on, please. 182 00:09:36,361 --> 00:09:38,601 It's freezing. Why on earth do you wanna stay? 183 00:09:40,696 --> 00:09:45,106 I'm trying to work up the courage to... 184 00:09:46,239 --> 00:09:47,781 To give you this. 185 00:09:48,032 --> 00:09:49,359 Yeah. 186 00:09:49,574 --> 00:09:51,233 Carrie... 187 00:09:51,450 --> 00:09:55,196 Will you, you know, marry me? 188 00:09:57,202 --> 00:10:01,735 Oh, my God. 189 00:10:01,953 --> 00:10:03,660 Of course I'll marry you. 190 00:10:03,913 --> 00:10:04,991 - You will? - Yes. 191 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,615 I just won some really big bets. 192 00:10:06,830 --> 00:10:08,454 I did. 193 00:10:16,625 --> 00:10:18,416 Oh, my God. 194 00:10:18,626 --> 00:10:21,542 Look at it. It's a butterfly. 195 00:10:21,752 --> 00:10:23,459 Yeah, yeah, yup. 196 00:10:23,670 --> 00:10:25,150 Okay, come on, come on, slap it on me. 197 00:10:25,337 --> 00:10:27,137 - Slap it on me. Okay. - Take your gloves off. 198 00:10:27,338 --> 00:10:28,665 - Here we go. - Hurry up. 199 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,560 God, it's freezing. Oh, jeez, I dropped it. 200 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,315 - Oh, my God, find it. - Okay. Oh, gosh. 201 00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:33,786 Oh, today's our lucky day. 202 00:10:34,007 --> 00:10:35,500 Look at that. Some fries. 203 00:10:35,716 --> 00:10:37,339 - Doug, come on. - Some fries. All right. 204 00:10:37,550 --> 00:10:38,550 My fingers are freezing. 205 00:10:38,758 --> 00:10:39,998 - There it is. I got it. - Okay. 206 00:10:40,176 --> 00:10:42,167 - Come on, give me your hand. - Okay. 207 00:10:51,430 --> 00:10:52,674 Do you like it? 208 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,596 I love it. 209 00:11:05,893 --> 00:11:08,383 Come on, come on. You wanna go? 210 00:11:09,311 --> 00:11:10,852 No. 211 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,428 Let's stay. 212 00:11:21,357 --> 00:11:22,898 Excuse me? 213 00:11:23,108 --> 00:11:25,775 Oh, right. Sorry. 214 00:11:28,735 --> 00:11:30,441 See you in a week. 215 00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:38,440 All right, dish is locked and loaded. 216 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,979 I have, like, five nuts and seven bolts left over, 217 00:11:41,198 --> 00:11:44,233 but damn it, she's up there. 218 00:11:44,491 --> 00:11:48,189 Nine hundred and forty-nine channels. Oh, my. 219 00:11:48,451 --> 00:11:50,131 You know, I read these satellite microwaves 220 00:11:50,326 --> 00:11:51,784 can make you impotent. 221 00:11:52,035 --> 00:11:55,367 Hey, 949 channels, I say roll the dice. 222 00:11:56,579 --> 00:11:58,202 All right, gentlemen. 223 00:11:58,413 --> 00:12:02,787 If you're ready, let's watch some television. 224 00:12:02,998 --> 00:12:04,539 All right, college football. 225 00:12:04,748 --> 00:12:07,119 - Florida State at Purdue. - That's what I'm talking about. 226 00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:08,693 This is supposed to be a good game. 227 00:12:08,916 --> 00:12:10,436 Yeah, but we can't stop on channel two. 228 00:12:10,625 --> 00:12:12,830 We just started here. Come on. The Dirty Dozen. 229 00:12:13,085 --> 00:12:14,285 - Oh, great movie. - All right. 230 00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:16,996 - Trini Lopez. - But we can do better, come on. 231 00:12:17,211 --> 00:12:19,961 Saved by the Bell: The New Class. 232 00:12:21,046 --> 00:12:22,622 Taping it. 233 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:23,960 Well, let's keep it moving. 234 00:12:24,130 --> 00:12:30,627 TNT, TNN, TBS, ESPN, ESPN 2, three, four, five. 235 00:12:30,841 --> 00:12:33,212 HBO, HBO 2, three, four... 236 00:12:33,467 --> 00:12:35,293 Learning Channel. 237 00:12:35,509 --> 00:12:37,797 Reading Channel. 238 00:12:38,010 --> 00:12:40,085 Swimming Channel. 239 00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:44,210 Guy-Getting-a-Haircut Channel. 240 00:12:47,055 --> 00:12:50,339 Wings. Wings. Wings. 241 00:12:50,848 --> 00:12:53,135 Hitler. Wings. 242 00:12:53,391 --> 00:12:55,429 Leave Hitler. 243 00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:57,716 Can't. Gotta see all the choices. 244 00:12:57,934 --> 00:13:00,506 Cheetah killing a zebra. 245 00:13:00,727 --> 00:13:03,263 Oh, cheetah killing a cheetah. 246 00:13:04,937 --> 00:13:06,975 He's not killing him. 247 00:13:11,314 --> 00:13:12,511 Hey, honey, what you doing? 248 00:13:12,773 --> 00:13:14,978 Enjoying my new satellite dish. 249 00:13:15,232 --> 00:13:17,140 Well, I got the hot tub ready for action. 250 00:13:17,358 --> 00:13:18,934 You wanna go break her in? 251 00:13:19,442 --> 00:13:24,480 Yeah. Maybe it will help me get rid of my blinding headache. 252 00:13:30,196 --> 00:13:32,317 Oh, it's so cold out. The hot tub is gonna feel great. 253 00:13:32,530 --> 00:13:35,482 - Come on, baby. - Hey, come on in. 254 00:13:36,156 --> 00:13:38,527 The water's fine. 255 00:13:41,950 --> 00:13:44,155 Arthur, why the hell is it so hot in here? 256 00:13:44,409 --> 00:13:45,867 Yeah, Dad. 257 00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:48,364 It's 109. 258 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:51,363 Hey, it's much healthier when it's hot. 259 00:13:51,620 --> 00:13:52,948 Cleans out your pores. 260 00:13:53,162 --> 00:13:56,114 You can't tell, but I'm sweating like a pig right now. 261 00:13:56,622 --> 00:13:59,193 I'm sorry, Dad, I'm gonna have to turn the heat down. 262 00:13:59,456 --> 00:14:00,784 Go ahead. I'm getting out anyway. 263 00:14:00,998 --> 00:14:08,998 I'm in my birthday suit, so look away if you're shy. 264 00:14:12,039 --> 00:14:13,792 It's called gravity, Douglas, 265 00:14:14,003 --> 00:14:16,409 and it's coming for you. 266 00:14:22,589 --> 00:14:24,830 How did we get such a bad rash from the Jacuzzi? 267 00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:28,291 I don't know, all right? I thought I put the right amount of chlorine in. 268 00:14:28,508 --> 00:14:32,176 You put more chlorine in? I had my dad do it already. 269 00:14:32,213 --> 00:14:33,551 You had your dad do it? 270 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:37,886 Carrie, you don't let a man in his 70s touch chemicals. 271 00:14:38,095 --> 00:14:40,003 My God, I can't believe you. 272 00:14:40,262 --> 00:14:41,886 Doug, please, don't start with me, okay? 273 00:14:42,096 --> 00:14:43,376 I'm not starting with you, okay? 274 00:14:43,597 --> 00:14:46,003 You have a little attitude. That's the problem. 275 00:14:46,223 --> 00:14:48,013 You always gotta get the last word in. 276 00:14:48,224 --> 00:14:50,298 No, I don't have to get the last word in, okay? 277 00:14:50,558 --> 00:14:52,099 You see? Right there. 278 00:14:57,602 --> 00:14:59,309 You're unbelievable. 279 00:15:01,728 --> 00:15:04,763 Look, do you wanna have sex? Because it's Saturday. 280 00:15:06,313 --> 00:15:09,929 Not unless you're gonna scratch me while we do it. 281 00:15:16,025 --> 00:15:18,811 - You wanna watch some TV? - No! No. 282 00:15:19,026 --> 00:15:20,520 It's too hard. 283 00:15:25,987 --> 00:15:28,062 You think we did the wrong thing, selling the ring? 284 00:15:28,947 --> 00:15:31,614 - What do you mean? - Well, it just seems like, you know... 285 00:15:31,781 --> 00:15:33,737 Now we have all this bad karma. 286 00:15:33,990 --> 00:15:37,024 All right, maybe we hit a little small patch of bumpy road. 287 00:15:37,241 --> 00:15:39,398 But it's not karma, believe me, all right? 288 00:15:39,617 --> 00:15:42,023 Tomorrow, we'll just relax, you and me, 289 00:15:42,243 --> 00:15:45,277 and we'll play with the new lawn darts. 290 00:15:46,161 --> 00:15:47,654 You know what it is? 291 00:15:47,870 --> 00:15:49,696 We were so quick to sell the ring, 292 00:15:49,912 --> 00:15:52,034 but we didn't stop to think that what we were selling 293 00:15:52,247 --> 00:15:55,827 was this whole piece of funny, great history of ours. 294 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,576 Look, see, I disagree. I disagree. 295 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:02,039 You're only saying that because you don't have your new ring yet. 296 00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:04,123 - You think? - Yeah, absolutely. 297 00:16:04,334 --> 00:16:06,374 When you get your new ring, I'm gonna give it to you 298 00:16:06,585 --> 00:16:08,043 the same way I gave you the old one. 299 00:16:08,252 --> 00:16:11,121 And it's gonna have so much sweet and funny history, 300 00:16:11,337 --> 00:16:13,293 you're gonna need a backup ring to hold it all. 301 00:16:13,546 --> 00:16:15,418 - Okay? - Yeah. 302 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:24,834 Who would have thought it'd be this warm in November? 303 00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:27,753 Should we at least take the blanket off? 304 00:16:27,968 --> 00:16:29,426 Then it won't be like the last time. 305 00:16:29,635 --> 00:16:33,132 I know, honey, but at least we won't have heat stroke. 306 00:16:33,887 --> 00:16:36,293 - There, that's better, right? - Yes. 307 00:16:36,512 --> 00:16:38,255 Okay. 308 00:16:39,972 --> 00:16:42,426 - You look pretty. - So do you. 309 00:16:44,432 --> 00:16:45,594 Oh, yeah! 310 00:16:45,807 --> 00:16:46,921 You idiot! 311 00:16:47,141 --> 00:16:49,133 Man. 312 00:16:52,518 --> 00:16:54,593 - You want mine? - No, it's fine. 313 00:16:54,811 --> 00:16:56,601 Could we just do the ring thing now? 314 00:16:56,853 --> 00:17:00,386 You can't ask me that. It's gonna ruin the spontaneity. 315 00:17:00,646 --> 00:17:02,388 Doug, I know you're gonna give me a ring- 316 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:05,183 You don't know that, all right? Hey, maybe I met someone. 317 00:17:07,065 --> 00:17:08,689 This is for you. 318 00:17:08,899 --> 00:17:10,274 With all my heart. 319 00:17:11,317 --> 00:17:12,976 I hope Elliott got the right size. 320 00:17:13,234 --> 00:17:15,356 Okay, you know what? I'm not happy with that response. 321 00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:18,354 What happened to the high-pitched squeal you gave the first time? 322 00:17:18,611 --> 00:17:20,898 Okay, I'm sorry. 323 00:17:22,404 --> 00:17:24,858 Oh, my God. 324 00:17:26,655 --> 00:17:27,855 All right, it was much higher. 325 00:17:28,031 --> 00:17:32,026 It was more, "Oh, my God!" 326 00:17:33,575 --> 00:17:35,613 Oh, my God! 327 00:17:35,825 --> 00:17:37,200 No, you gotta drag out the "God." 328 00:17:37,409 --> 00:17:40,077 God! 329 00:17:43,537 --> 00:17:47,069 God! 330 00:17:47,288 --> 00:17:48,995 Like that? 331 00:17:49,205 --> 00:17:51,243 Yeah, it's fine. Whatever. 332 00:17:52,790 --> 00:17:54,413 Here-I dropped it. 333 00:17:54,624 --> 00:17:56,496 Honey, you dropped the ring. 334 00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:59,376 I know I dropped it, I did it last time, all right? 335 00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:01,701 Oh, where the hell is it? 336 00:18:01,918 --> 00:18:03,625 Why didn't you just put it on me? 337 00:18:03,877 --> 00:18:05,915 Because I'm trying to make a funny moment, okay? 338 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:10,751 Look, here it is, all right. There you go. 339 00:18:10,963 --> 00:18:13,997 - Okay, now it's covered in mustard. - There you go. 340 00:18:14,214 --> 00:18:16,538 You can't get more of a funny spontaneous moment than that. 341 00:18:16,757 --> 00:18:19,709 Mustard all over it. Hey, it's mustard. 342 00:18:21,342 --> 00:18:24,590 Come on, laugh it up, Car. It's fun. 343 00:18:29,595 --> 00:18:31,669 It's not working, is it? 344 00:18:35,263 --> 00:18:36,294 I understand, yup. 345 00:18:36,556 --> 00:18:37,930 Okay, thank you. 346 00:18:38,139 --> 00:18:39,882 Yup. Bye. 347 00:18:40,890 --> 00:18:43,558 - Okay, the old ring's gone. He sold it. - Oh, no. 348 00:18:43,766 --> 00:18:44,766 Sorry. 349 00:18:45,017 --> 00:18:49,640 We're evil, disgusting people. Do you know that? 350 00:18:49,894 --> 00:18:52,846 We took the one object that most represents our love 351 00:18:53,061 --> 00:18:57,471 and we hocked it for a hot tub and a satellite dish. 352 00:18:57,688 --> 00:18:59,644 And our kids' college. 353 00:18:59,897 --> 00:19:02,221 What? Oh, yeah, right. Whatever. 354 00:19:03,607 --> 00:19:05,397 You see? I forgot about the kids again. 355 00:19:05,608 --> 00:19:07,101 More evil coming out, coming out. 356 00:19:07,317 --> 00:19:08,858 We're not evil, all right? 357 00:19:09,067 --> 00:19:11,853 I think every married couple's entitled to one huge, horrible mistake 358 00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:13,068 on the house. 359 00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,901 - You do? - Yes. 360 00:19:15,111 --> 00:19:19,687 I was hoping to save mine for an affair, but I'll use it here. 361 00:19:19,946 --> 00:19:21,060 Shut up. 362 00:19:21,905 --> 00:19:25,189 Come on. Look, can't we please get past this? 363 00:19:25,448 --> 00:19:26,989 I want to. 364 00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:30,198 But every time I look at this ring, or people ask me about it, 365 00:19:30,408 --> 00:19:34,154 I'm gonna remember all of this all over again. 366 00:19:34,993 --> 00:19:37,483 We don't even have a good story to tell people 367 00:19:37,702 --> 00:19:39,160 about how you gave it to me now. 368 00:19:39,411 --> 00:19:41,450 I know. What a crappy day. 369 00:19:41,662 --> 00:19:44,531 You know, first we're flop-sweating in our winter coats, 370 00:19:44,747 --> 00:19:47,236 then some moron spills your beer on you, 371 00:19:47,456 --> 00:19:49,494 and then I drop the ring in some mustard... 372 00:19:51,032 --> 00:19:55,118 You know, sounds kind of funny when you say it out loud. 373 00:19:55,375 --> 00:19:56,750 - It does? - Yeah. 374 00:19:56,959 --> 00:20:00,326 I mean, it does have the potential to be a funny story. 375 00:20:00,586 --> 00:20:03,454 What if we just made it a point to laugh when we told it to people? 376 00:20:05,462 --> 00:20:07,833 I like where you're going with that. I like that, you know- 377 00:20:08,047 --> 00:20:10,832 And there's no reason the ring couldn't have fallen 378 00:20:11,048 --> 00:20:13,833 in something funnier than mustard. 379 00:20:14,091 --> 00:20:16,165 Right, like ketchup? 380 00:20:16,425 --> 00:20:18,665 - No, that's equivalent. - Right. 381 00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:21,624 Well, how about, like, some fat lady's nachos? 382 00:20:21,843 --> 00:20:24,131 - Nice. - Yeah. 383 00:20:24,344 --> 00:20:27,178 And then when you bent down to pick it up, 384 00:20:27,387 --> 00:20:29,841 your pants split, remember, huh? 385 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:34,095 Was my face red? 386 00:20:34,306 --> 00:20:35,883 - That's right. - Yeah. 387 00:20:36,349 --> 00:20:41,968 Dad, you are not gonna believe what happened at the Jets game today. 388 00:20:42,184 --> 00:20:44,852 Doug surprised me with my new engagement ring, 389 00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:49,102 and when he went to give it to me, it fell into some fat lady's nachos. 390 00:20:49,312 --> 00:20:52,227 Yeah, and then, you know, I went down to get it and: 391 00:20:52,438 --> 00:20:54,512 - My pants ripped. - Right. 392 00:20:59,315 --> 00:21:00,435 Oh, and then the other part. 393 00:21:00,649 --> 00:21:03,932 And then they showed it on the stadium JumboTron, 394 00:21:04,150 --> 00:21:05,264 and the place went nuts. 395 00:21:05,484 --> 00:21:08,898 Oh, and they were all chanting, "Big guy butt crack!" 396 00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:11,145 It was funny. 397 00:21:11,361 --> 00:21:14,146 It's a wild story, don't you think? 398 00:21:14,362 --> 00:21:15,524 I guess you had to be there. 399 00:21:25,340 --> 00:21:27,830 Well, we can't go by him. 400 00:21:29,952 --> 00:21:31,908 - Come on, give it a try. - I don't wanna. 401 00:21:31,933 --> 00:21:34,601 I'm telling you, you don't know what you're missing. 402 00:21:35,662 --> 00:21:37,120 All right. 403 00:21:45,833 --> 00:21:48,322 - There. - Not bad, huh? 404 00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:50,952 You're right. 405 00:21:51,168 --> 00:21:53,076 It's very liberating. 406 00:21:53,335 --> 00:21:55,492 And so is this. 407 00:21:56,545 --> 00:21:58,287 Go fetch, sucker! 408 00:21:58,504 --> 00:22:01,415 Arthur.