1
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:41,608
See what I did there?

2
00:00:41,676 --> 00:00:42,976
I threw a little
Doug in there.

3
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:44,044
That's my new
theme song.

4
00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:45,879
Mmm. Well, I, for one,
am gonna miss

5
00:00:45,947 --> 00:00:48,248
yellow Doug marine.

6
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,083
What's going on here,
pretty young thing?

7
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,785
I am making
breakfast.

8
00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:54,454
Come on, quit it.

9
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:55,989
What?
It's strawberry shampoo.

10
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,791
They want you
to eat it.

11
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:05,532
Hair?

12
00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:09,369
Y-you ok, then?

13
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:11,038
Spectacular.
Wow.

14
00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:12,338
Look at this mood
you're in.

15
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,174
You're singing,
you're eating my hair.

16
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,643
It's like having a little
monkey around the house.

17
00:01:16,711 --> 00:01:18,344
Well, I'm happy,
you know.

18
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,780
Just one more week,

19
00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:21,782
and I'll be parking my
butt outside in the garage

20
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:23,616
in front of my
55-inch bad boy

21
00:01:23,685 --> 00:01:26,987
watching
super bowl xxxv.

22
00:01:27,055 --> 00:01:28,254
That's 35

23
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:31,158
to all you
non-Roman people.

24
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,359
Gotta tell you, Doug, I
love you at super bowl time.

25
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,528
You are a delight
to be around.

26
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:36,897
Hey, you have
your special days.

27
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:38,965
Your "Christmas"
and whatnot.

28
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:40,366
I have this.

29
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:43,403
I just wish the super bowl
came everyday.

30
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,106
So do I, Carrie.
So do I.

31
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,111
Who is it?

32
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:54,214
Uh, it's I.P.S. For
Mrs. Susan horowitz.

33
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,316
Now I heard that
menopause can start

34
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,118
when they're in their 20s.
Is that true?

35
00:01:58,186 --> 00:01:59,652
Hi. Hey, bath and body works.

36
00:01:59,721 --> 00:02:01,054
Someone's
pampering herself.

37
00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:02,756
Good for you.

38
00:02:02,824 --> 00:02:04,057
Where do I sign?

39
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:05,258
Oh, just right here.

40
00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:06,406
Oh, my God,
that television.

41
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,493
Is that hi-def?

42
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,730
Uh, yeah,
I guess so.

43
00:02:10,865 --> 00:02:13,566
Ma, where's the
peanut butter?

44
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,902
It's in the pantry!

45
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:17,437
The detail
is amazing.

46
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:19,106
Oh, please
don't cry, baby.

47
00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:22,008
It's like star Jones is
actually in your living room.

48
00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:23,509
There isn't any!

49
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,612
Then there isn't any!

50
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,147
Do you know if
they're broadcasting

51
00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:28,215
the super bowl
in hi-def?

52
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,750
They gotta be.
Right? They should be.

53
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,852
I... I really don't know.
My husband's the one...

54
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,220
Ma!

55
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,421
If you ask me for peanut
butter one more time,

56
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,190
I'm gonna smack you!

57
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:40,026
Are we done here?

58
00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:41,795
They're talking
about menopause,

59
00:02:41,863 --> 00:02:43,230
yet I'm hypnotized.

60
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:44,297
Ma!

61
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:45,698
Shut up!

62
00:02:45,767 --> 00:02:46,900
Beautiful.

63
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:55,242
And now only 99 cents.

64
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,010
I don't understand
what you're saying.

65
00:02:57,078 --> 00:02:58,845
The picture looks fine.

66
00:02:58,913 --> 00:03:02,149
In fact, I wasn't in the
mood for chalupa before

67
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:03,616
but I am now.

68
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,820
You just don't get it,
do you?

69
00:03:06,888 --> 00:03:09,089
What's your problem?
I thought you loved this t.V.

70
00:03:09,157 --> 00:03:12,125
I did, until today
when I saw the future.

71
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,894
Hi-def.

72
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,628
It's like
when you have a kid.

73
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,730
You know, you're
really happy with that kid.

74
00:03:17,799 --> 00:03:19,565
But then you have
a second kid.

75
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,067
And all of a sudden,
you know what?

76
00:03:21,135 --> 00:03:23,670
The first kid doesn't
look so good anymore.

77
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:26,506
You have some issues
with mom and dad, don't you?

78
00:03:26,573 --> 00:03:27,573
Yeah.

79
00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:34,314
I'll be
right with you.

80
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,648
Thank you.

81
00:03:37,018 --> 00:03:38,518
All right,
listen up.

82
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,921
I'm gonna ask for the most
expensive hi-def set they make,

83
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:43,089
then you say,
"we can't afford that".

84
00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:45,258
That way it'll look like
I'm buying one for real.

85
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,446
Not just buying one to
return it after the super bowl.

86
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:48,895
Why am I saying "we"?

87
00:03:48,963 --> 00:03:51,998
I mean, are we supposed
to be a couple or something?

88
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,533
Yeah. So it just
doesn't look like,

89
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,712
you know, we're 2 dudes who
wanna watch the super bowl.

90
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,437
You know? We're
together. We're committed.

91
00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,639
Maybe we bought
a townhouse. Uh-uh.

92
00:04:01,142 --> 00:04:02,175
All right.

93
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,211
What?

94
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:06,713
I just don't know how believable
it's gonna be, you know?

95
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,514
That-that,
I'm with you.

96
00:04:10,985 --> 00:04:12,518
Well, excuse me.

97
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,587
I didn't mean anything
by it. I'm just saying...

98
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,522
I know what you're
saying. Ok, it's fine.

99
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,491
Look, it's more
the black-and-white thing.

100
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:20,393
I just don't think
people are ready to...

101
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:21,694
Stop it.

102
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:24,664
Ok, what do
you need?

103
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,867
Uh, yeah, this hi-def
model right here.

104
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,601
Is this the most
expensive one you carry?

105
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,703
Yeah, it is. It's also the
best one on the market.

106
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,005
It is a beauty.

107
00:04:32,073 --> 00:04:34,841
Doug,
we can't afford it.

108
00:04:34,909 --> 00:04:37,610
Excuse me,
there's no "we" here, ok?

109
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,579
We broke up.
Now move on.

110
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,019
Sorry about that.
He's...

111
00:04:46,087 --> 00:04:48,321
Anyway, uh, yeah,
I will take it,

112
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:51,024
and that'd be great. Any
chance you could deliver it, uh,

113
00:04:51,092 --> 00:04:54,427
by, uh, I don't know,
maybe Sunday?

114
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,229
Tomorrow between
12:00 and 6:00.

115
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:58,664
Good. Great. Stellar.

116
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,202
So what's the,
uh, return policy

117
00:05:02,270 --> 00:05:03,469
on one of these
bad boys?

118
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,105
What is it, like,
30 days?

119
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:06,273
Why?

120
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,275
You're not just gonna
buy it for the super bowl

121
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:09,742
and then return it,
are you?

122
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,246
Is that not encouraged?

123
00:05:19,635 --> 00:05:22,070
Carrie, someone's
been parking in my spot.

124
00:05:22,137 --> 00:05:24,172
Do you have any idea
who I'd talk to about that?

125
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,841
Uh, did you leave a note? No.

126
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,308
Did you call
the parking office?

127
00:05:27,377 --> 00:05:28,543
I'm gonna
level with you.

128
00:05:28,611 --> 00:05:30,556
When I asked you, "could
I talk to you about this",

129
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:32,848
I really meant, "who could
you talk to about this?"

130
00:05:34,484 --> 00:05:36,985
Ok, I'll... I'll call right after
I make you a raisin toast.

131
00:05:37,052 --> 00:05:38,052
Thank you much.

132
00:05:41,023 --> 00:05:42,190
Hey, car.

133
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:43,558
Hi, baby.

134
00:05:43,626 --> 00:05:45,093
Hi.
Ah, Mr. pruzan,

135
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,628
you remember
my husband, Doug?

136
00:05:46,696 --> 00:05:48,029
Sure, I do.
Good to see ya.

137
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:49,698
Yeah. Remember my joke
from last time?

138
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,299
My name's Doug,
and your name's Doug,

139
00:05:51,367 --> 00:05:53,067
so in Spain,
we'd be Doug y Doug.

140
00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:55,370
Yeah. Like the actor.
Great. Yes.

141
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:58,540
Well, hey, if were named
mark, we'd be mark y mark.

142
00:05:58,608 --> 00:05:59,941
Not following you,
Doug.

143
00:06:00,009 --> 00:06:01,576
Is that a person?

144
00:06:02,512 --> 00:06:04,646
No. No.

145
00:06:04,714 --> 00:06:06,281
So what are you
doing in the city?

146
00:06:06,348 --> 00:06:09,050
I was just over at the wiz,
pricing those hi-def t.V.S.

147
00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:10,452
Let me ask you
something.

148
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:14,022
How opposed are you
to dancing at night?

149
00:06:14,089 --> 00:06:16,024
Doug, why do you want
a hi-def t.V.?

150
00:06:16,091 --> 00:06:19,027
You have a great t.V. I... I
bought you the best t.V. They had.

151
00:06:19,094 --> 00:06:20,729
Yeah,
in the nineties.

152
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,564
I tell you, those
hi-defs are amazing.

153
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:24,566
They gave me one of
those when I made partner.

154
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:25,667
They did?
Yeah.

155
00:06:25,735 --> 00:06:26,935
Beautiful
picture,

156
00:06:27,002 --> 00:06:28,602
but it's still the
idiot box. Am I right?

157
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,073
They gave him a t.V.

158
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:34,443
You wanna know what they
got me when I got promoted?

159
00:06:34,510 --> 00:06:35,710
A cat mug.

160
00:06:35,778 --> 00:06:37,512
"Con-cat-ulations."

161
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,749
He has hi-def.

162
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,317
Yeah, so?

163
00:06:42,384 --> 00:06:44,385
So... so you invite him to
my poker game tonight.

164
00:06:44,454 --> 00:06:46,922
Ew! No!
Why would I do that?

165
00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:48,957
Hello! Brownie points
for you with your boss,

166
00:06:49,024 --> 00:06:51,493
and maybe an invite to watch
the super bowl in hi-def for me.

167
00:06:51,561 --> 00:06:53,294
Doug, he is my boss,
ok?

168
00:06:53,362 --> 00:06:55,229
I do not want him
in my home.

169
00:06:55,297 --> 00:06:56,498
That is my turf!

170
00:06:56,566 --> 00:06:57,866
Your turf?

171
00:06:57,934 --> 00:07:01,202
Ok, when exactly did you
become pinky tuscadero?

172
00:07:01,270 --> 00:07:03,004
Ok, can I get back
to work now, please?

173
00:07:03,072 --> 00:07:06,274
I have a very serious
parking situation to deal with.

174
00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:08,176
No, Carrie. You
obviously don't understand

175
00:07:08,243 --> 00:07:09,377
what's going on here.

176
00:07:09,445 --> 00:07:12,280
I'm talking hi-def.
Hi-def!

177
00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:14,082
Oh, yeah.

178
00:07:14,149 --> 00:07:15,450
That means
nothing to me.

179
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,352
Let me try to explain it to you.

180
00:07:17,419 --> 00:07:18,887
Look at me. Look
at me. Look at me.

181
00:07:20,055 --> 00:07:21,523
Are you looking?
Yes, I am looking.

182
00:07:21,591 --> 00:07:23,057
Ok.

183
00:07:23,125 --> 00:07:26,194
Now if I were on hi-def, I'd
be sharper and more life-like

184
00:07:26,261 --> 00:07:28,563
than I am right now,
not to mention wider.

185
00:07:28,631 --> 00:07:30,098
Shut it.

186
00:07:30,165 --> 00:07:32,405
Carrie, I'm gonna need those
files when you get a chance,

187
00:07:32,468 --> 00:07:33,535
if I'm not
interrupting.

188
00:07:33,603 --> 00:07:35,003
Oh, no, no.
No problem.

189
00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:36,949
No. We were just talking
about my poker game tonight,

190
00:07:36,973 --> 00:07:38,540
that I need
another guy for.

191
00:07:42,177 --> 00:07:44,278
Well, I'm feelin'
a little wild here.

192
00:07:44,346 --> 00:07:46,147
Dealer bets
15 cents.

193
00:07:47,449 --> 00:07:49,283
You're scaring me.

194
00:07:49,351 --> 00:07:50,351
I'm out.

195
00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:51,820
It looks like
somebody's scared.

196
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,689
Whoa. Don't get
the hulk angry.

197
00:07:54,757 --> 00:07:56,525
You won't like him
when he's angry.

198
00:07:58,761 --> 00:07:59,995
Good one.

199
00:08:02,532 --> 00:08:03,632
Well...

200
00:08:03,699 --> 00:08:06,234
Er, I'm out.
Good luck, gentlemen.

201
00:08:06,301 --> 00:08:07,836
All right,
I'll take a ride.

202
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,103
As will I.

203
00:08:09,171 --> 00:08:10,238
And comin' around.

204
00:08:10,305 --> 00:08:11,907
Well, this is
great, huh?

205
00:08:11,974 --> 00:08:15,010
Male bonding.
Just me and the guys.

206
00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:17,145
And my sister.

207
00:08:17,212 --> 00:08:19,514
We oughta do this
more often, right, Deac?

208
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,750
Huh? Oh, right.

209
00:08:21,817 --> 00:08:23,284
But not next Sunday,

210
00:08:23,352 --> 00:08:26,487
'cause that's
the super bowl.

211
00:08:26,556 --> 00:08:28,322
That's right, it is.
Where are we, uh,

212
00:08:28,390 --> 00:08:30,258
where are we
watchin' that, anyway?

213
00:08:30,325 --> 00:08:32,093
I don't know.

214
00:08:32,161 --> 00:08:34,201
I have to admit, it rather
snuck up on me this year.

215
00:08:39,035 --> 00:08:41,235
All I know is
something like that

216
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,371
should be seen on a
television with definition

217
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:47,075
that's fairly high.
Am I right?

218
00:08:47,142 --> 00:08:49,778
You're right. Can't argue
with someone who's right.

219
00:08:49,845 --> 00:08:52,113
Ladies, wanna
swap recipes later?

220
00:08:52,181 --> 00:08:53,748
I'm trying to play
some cards here.

221
00:08:53,816 --> 00:08:55,650
Ooh! You're a
feisty one, aren't ya?

222
00:08:55,718 --> 00:08:58,920
Yeah, I'm down $3, and
I'm p.M.S.Ing big time.

223
00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:03,291
So, Lou, now that you've
moved into the neighborhood,

224
00:09:03,358 --> 00:09:04,893
we should hit
the weights together.

225
00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:07,929
I start really early
in the morning.

226
00:09:07,997 --> 00:09:10,431
Yeah, it's cool.
See, here's where I'm at.

227
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,268
I wanna work out,

228
00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:16,605
but I don't wanna get
pumped, pumped.

229
00:09:16,672 --> 00:09:19,774
I mean, all those big
muscles are gross.

230
00:09:19,842 --> 00:09:21,109
Uh, no offense.

231
00:09:21,176 --> 00:09:22,176
Right.

232
00:09:22,244 --> 00:09:23,979
See, I just wanna
get ripped.

233
00:09:24,046 --> 00:09:26,380
You know, I'd like
Mitch gaylord's body.

234
00:09:26,448 --> 00:09:27,649
I'll bet you would.

235
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:32,587
And the king
bets 40 cents.

236
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:35,924
Ooh. Big man.
Well, I'll call you,

237
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,859
and I'll raise you
50 cents.

238
00:09:37,927 --> 00:09:40,729
Mmm. I'm aroused.
Ok, call.

239
00:09:41,430 --> 00:09:42,497
3 kings.

240
00:09:43,899 --> 00:09:44,833
You know,

241
00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:46,735
all I've got is
all hearts.

242
00:09:46,802 --> 00:09:49,671
Wait a minute. I do
believe that's a flush.

243
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:54,976
Nicely played.
Speaking of nicely played,

244
00:09:55,044 --> 00:09:58,747
you know what I hope is
nicely played? The super bowl.

245
00:09:58,814 --> 00:10:00,715
Who's with me, huh?
Show of hands.

246
00:10:00,783 --> 00:10:02,316
All right.
There you go.

247
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:04,784
Doug, this rheingold went right
through me. Where's the head?

248
00:10:04,820 --> 00:10:06,487
That's upstairs.
Thanks.

249
00:10:10,126 --> 00:10:12,326
You're watching
intimate portrait.

250
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:13,461
Rue mcclanahan.

251
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:15,530
No, I'm not.

252
00:10:17,633 --> 00:10:18,633
Yeah?

253
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:19,968
Hey, Carrie.

254
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,903
Oh. Hi, hi.

255
00:10:21,971 --> 00:10:23,938
I was just on my way to
the little boys' room,

256
00:10:24,006 --> 00:10:25,406
thought I'd stop in
and say "hey".

257
00:10:25,474 --> 00:10:27,008
Hey back at you.

258
00:10:28,144 --> 00:10:29,878
It's the first door
on the left.

259
00:10:29,945 --> 00:10:31,279
I can hold it.

260
00:10:31,346 --> 00:10:32,981
I gotta tell ya,
Carrie,

261
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,116
you guys have quite
a little nest here.

262
00:10:35,184 --> 00:10:36,484
Oh, thank you.

263
00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,119
So,

264
00:10:38,187 --> 00:10:40,321
what time tomorrow,
9:00?

265
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,190
Question for you, car.

266
00:10:42,257 --> 00:10:44,292
Is your sister-in-law
seeing anyone?

267
00:10:44,359 --> 00:10:46,427
'Cause I find her
delightful.

268
00:10:47,930 --> 00:10:49,864
Stephanie?
I sense a spark.

269
00:10:49,932 --> 00:10:51,066
You and Stephanie?

270
00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:52,967
Yeah, yeah.

271
00:10:53,035 --> 00:10:54,746
I know I'm something of a
ladies' man around the office,

272
00:10:54,770 --> 00:10:57,172
but in a couple of years,
that's gonna stop being cute

273
00:10:57,239 --> 00:11:00,274
and start being pathetic.

274
00:11:00,342 --> 00:11:02,977
Stephanie's very different
from the women I usually date.

275
00:11:03,045 --> 00:11:05,146
She's real.

276
00:11:05,214 --> 00:11:07,381
I'd like to try
something real.

277
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,951
Actually, the think is
she-she's actually not that real.

278
00:11:10,019 --> 00:11:11,786
Oh God,
that's funny.

279
00:11:11,854 --> 00:11:13,788
Why don't you run it past
her and get back to me?

280
00:11:13,856 --> 00:11:15,356
Ok.
Great.

281
00:11:17,659 --> 00:11:18,760
Facts of life.

282
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,103
Hi.

283
00:11:28,137 --> 00:11:29,403
What's your problem?

284
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:31,072
Aw, pruzan didn't bite.

285
00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:32,640
Now I gotta watch
the super bowl

286
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:35,376
on my 55-inch
piece of poop.

287
00:11:37,146 --> 00:11:38,279
And what's the story here?

288
00:11:38,347 --> 00:11:40,548
We're... we're building a tower?

289
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,751
I'm just too sad
to do dishes.

290
00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:46,287
Oh, my poor baby.

291
00:11:49,892 --> 00:11:51,325
You think you had
a bad night?

292
00:11:51,393 --> 00:11:52,393
No.

293
00:11:52,427 --> 00:11:53,862
You wanna know
what I did tonight?

294
00:11:53,929 --> 00:11:56,231
I had a slumber party
with pruzan.

295
00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:58,599
Yeah. We talked about
relationships,

296
00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:01,502
and then we watched
the facts of life marathon.

297
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:04,605
You love
the facts of life.

298
00:12:04,673 --> 00:12:06,574
I told you. I told you
this would happen.

299
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:08,376
My turf.

300
00:12:08,443 --> 00:12:10,021
All right, well, I'm sorry.
It's done. He's gone.

301
00:12:10,045 --> 00:12:12,346
Ech! He kept
going on and on

302
00:12:12,414 --> 00:12:14,149
asking me questions
about Stephanie,

303
00:12:14,216 --> 00:12:15,784
and meanwhile,
I'm sitting there

304
00:12:15,851 --> 00:12:18,519
in my pajamas with
a hole in the crotch.

305
00:12:19,889 --> 00:12:21,489
It was horrible!

306
00:12:21,556 --> 00:12:23,024
Wait a minute.
What do you...

307
00:12:23,092 --> 00:12:25,137
What do you mean he was
asking questions about Stephanie?

308
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,995
He wants to date her.

309
00:12:27,062 --> 00:12:28,997
It's so gross.

310
00:12:29,064 --> 00:12:32,500
I mean, it's like having
a pigeon in the house.

311
00:12:32,567 --> 00:12:33,868
Wel, did you
tell her yet?

312
00:12:33,936 --> 00:12:35,503
No,
I didn't tell her.

313
00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:37,705
What do you mean
you didn't tell her?

314
00:12:37,773 --> 00:12:40,275
I'm not telling her.
This dies with me.

315
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:42,911
Carrie, what if they were
meant to be with each other?

316
00:12:42,978 --> 00:12:45,780
Yeah, what if God is using you
to bring the two of them together?

317
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:48,817
If you don't, it's like you're doing
the opposite of what God wants.

318
00:12:48,884 --> 00:12:51,385
Which pretty much
makes you the devil.

319
00:12:52,621 --> 00:12:54,789
The devil.

320
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,959
Ok, if anyone is the
devil here, it's you.

321
00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,627
Yeah, it's me.
Yeah, right. Ok, right.

322
00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:03,431
The devil always goes around
trying to make love grow. Whatever.

323
00:13:03,498 --> 00:13:07,035
Doug, the only reason you want
to set up pruzan with your sister

324
00:13:07,102 --> 00:13:10,438
is so you can watch the super
bowl on hi-def, and that's evil.

325
00:13:10,505 --> 00:13:12,773
It's not my fault that doing
something nice for Stephanie

326
00:13:12,842 --> 00:13:14,108
may also work out
well for me.

327
00:13:14,176 --> 00:13:17,912
I know that pains you,
what with you being the devil.

328
00:13:17,980 --> 00:13:20,849
Doug, he is not right
for her. Trust me.

329
00:13:20,916 --> 00:13:23,084
He is totally weird,
ok?

330
00:13:23,152 --> 00:13:24,919
She needs a nice,
normal guy,

331
00:13:24,987 --> 00:13:27,956
not a guy
who collects marionettes.

332
00:13:28,023 --> 00:13:29,590
Who's to say who
belongs with who?

333
00:13:29,658 --> 00:13:31,326
I mean, look,
who'd put us together?

334
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:34,028
Look at us? I mean, I
could sit on you and kill you.

335
00:13:34,096 --> 00:13:36,030
Yet, we make it work.

336
00:13:36,098 --> 00:13:37,798
Ok, let it go.

337
00:13:37,867 --> 00:13:39,700
No, Carrie. You just...
you don't understand.

338
00:13:39,768 --> 00:13:41,135
My sister's not like you.

339
00:13:41,203 --> 00:13:42,814
She doesn't have
a million guys after her.

340
00:13:42,838 --> 00:13:44,272
Right now,
she only has one.

341
00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:46,640
And thanks to you,
she'll never know that.

342
00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:47,842
Oh, my God.

343
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,044
All right, so this is the
way it's gonna go, huh?

344
00:13:50,112 --> 00:13:52,546
You're willing to
make me feel like crap,

345
00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:56,184
so you can watch
the super bowl on hi-def?

346
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,120
Hey, you push a dog into
a corner, she gonna bite.

347
00:14:05,146 --> 00:14:08,215
Ok, my last
phys-ed question:

348
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:11,418
Are the dodge ball and
the kickball the same ball?

349
00:14:12,754 --> 00:14:14,154
You can use
the same ball, yeah,

350
00:14:14,222 --> 00:14:16,557
but you let a little air
out of the dodge ball.

351
00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:19,459
Wow! There's so much
for a gym teacher to know.

352
00:14:19,528 --> 00:14:20,961
Kudos to you.

353
00:14:21,029 --> 00:14:22,596
She also teaches
junior lifesaving.

354
00:14:22,664 --> 00:14:24,904
Tell him about the, uh, buddy
system. Go ahead, tell him.

355
00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:26,266
Now?
Yeah.

356
00:14:26,334 --> 00:14:27,835
I was gonna use that
as my closer.

357
00:14:27,903 --> 00:14:29,469
Closer!

358
00:14:29,538 --> 00:14:30,638
That is funny!

359
00:14:30,705 --> 00:14:33,607
Whoa! We got a
laugher here. Lookout.

360
00:14:33,675 --> 00:14:35,576
Can I open the goobers
now? I'm starving.

361
00:14:35,644 --> 00:14:38,679
Excuse me. But you know
that I save all my candy

362
00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:40,480
for the start
of the previews.

363
00:14:40,549 --> 00:14:42,883
Have we just met?

364
00:14:42,951 --> 00:14:44,685
Hey, you know who's
a big goober guy...

365
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:46,453
Arnie grant
in litigation.

366
00:14:46,521 --> 00:14:47,588
He loves 'em.

367
00:14:47,656 --> 00:14:49,557
Does he?
What a kook.

368
00:14:51,192 --> 00:14:52,927
I'm talkin' about
the office again.

369
00:14:52,994 --> 00:14:54,595
Guess that's one
of the pitfalls

370
00:14:54,663 --> 00:14:56,263
of dating your
assistant's sister-in-law.

371
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:57,965
"Assistant's
sister-in-law."

372
00:14:58,033 --> 00:15:00,067
Hey, that's hard
to say.

373
00:15:00,134 --> 00:15:01,401
That is hard to say.

374
00:15:01,469 --> 00:15:03,003
Sister's...
Sister...

375
00:15:03,071 --> 00:15:04,371
I got it all
messed up.

376
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:06,807
You try.

377
00:15:09,778 --> 00:15:13,413
Anyway, we're thinking of having
a super bowl party next Sunday.

378
00:15:13,481 --> 00:15:15,015
Uh, you think
you'd be into coming?

379
00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:16,850
Sure.
That'd be great.

380
00:15:16,918 --> 00:15:19,530
You know what, don't get too excited,
though, 'cause our t.V. Ain't so hot.

381
00:15:19,554 --> 00:15:20,821
The picture's
kinda grainy.

382
00:15:20,889 --> 00:15:22,322
Then why don't you
and your friends

383
00:15:22,390 --> 00:15:24,391
just come over to my
place and watch the game?

384
00:15:24,459 --> 00:15:25,492
Your place?

385
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,495
I... I guess that would work.
Ok, thanks.

386
00:15:31,432 --> 00:15:33,266
I'm gonna go
get a soda.

387
00:15:36,972 --> 00:15:40,440
You know what? Get... get me an
icee with an extra squirt of flavor!

388
00:15:40,508 --> 00:15:42,576
I don't think she
heard you, Doug. I'll go.

389
00:15:42,644 --> 00:15:43,877
Can I get you
something, too?

390
00:15:43,945 --> 00:15:46,113
You look like
a snow cap girl to me.

391
00:15:46,180 --> 00:15:47,414
Do I?

392
00:15:47,482 --> 00:15:49,316
Actually, I'm very
allergic, but thank you.

393
00:15:56,424 --> 00:15:58,191
I think
he likes you.

394
00:15:58,259 --> 00:16:00,728
Of course he likes me.
All freaks like me.

395
00:16:00,795 --> 00:16:02,663
You're a real piece
of work, you know that?

396
00:16:02,731 --> 00:16:05,733
You... you manage to find something
wrong with every guy you go out with.

397
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,435
Jonathan had no friends.
Gil wasn't tall enough.

398
00:16:08,503 --> 00:16:10,771
Tony was
too into his cats.

399
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:13,140
He blow-dried them
every morning.

400
00:16:14,442 --> 00:16:15,709
Look, Steph,

401
00:16:15,777 --> 00:16:18,345
there's no such thing
as the perfect guy.

402
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:21,348
The best you can do
is look for someone who's nice

403
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:22,516
and cares about you.

404
00:16:22,583 --> 00:16:23,917
But you're
never gonna find that

405
00:16:23,985 --> 00:16:26,219
because you don't
give people a chance.

406
00:16:26,287 --> 00:16:27,955
Yeah, I guess.

407
00:16:28,023 --> 00:16:31,058
Just go out with him for a
little bit. See how it feels.

408
00:16:31,126 --> 00:16:32,559
Fine. Fine.

409
00:16:32,627 --> 00:16:34,895
How long do you think
I should give it?

410
00:16:34,963 --> 00:16:38,832
Well, if you insist on
putting a clock on love,

411
00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:41,702
just give it till the last
Sunday in January.

412
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,738
That seems like
a good cutoff point.

413
00:16:50,712 --> 00:16:52,880
Welcome to the
following presentation

414
00:16:52,947 --> 00:16:55,615
of the national football
league from c.B.S. Sports.

415
00:16:55,684 --> 00:16:57,785
I gotta hand it
to you, man.

416
00:16:57,852 --> 00:17:00,387
You wanted a high-def
super bowl,

417
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:03,924
and well, God bless you,
you didn't stop till you got it.

418
00:17:04,793 --> 00:17:06,326
Thanks, guy.

419
00:17:06,394 --> 00:17:08,673
I gotta tell ya, these last
couple of days have been a blur.

420
00:17:08,697 --> 00:17:11,065
I'm not even sure
I went to work.

421
00:17:11,132 --> 00:17:12,499
I mean,
look at this, man.

422
00:17:12,567 --> 00:17:14,634
The pregame show
has never been so real.

423
00:17:14,703 --> 00:17:18,672
It's like,
ditka is pissed at me.

424
00:17:18,740 --> 00:17:19,973
You know what's
really fun?

425
00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:21,909
If you close your eyes
and then open them,

426
00:17:21,976 --> 00:17:25,179
it's like you're seeing it
for the very first time.

427
00:17:30,318 --> 00:17:32,419
And that's
the whole tour.

428
00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:34,354
It's very nice,
Doug.

429
00:17:34,422 --> 00:17:36,656
I don't think I've ever seen
so many marionettes before.

430
00:17:36,725 --> 00:17:38,892
Well,
they're my family.

431
00:17:41,329 --> 00:17:43,731
I'm gonna go see what
Carrie's up to in the kitchen.

432
00:17:43,798 --> 00:17:46,533
Great. I'll be here
hangin' with the guys.

433
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:49,837
Hey,
what you doin' there?

434
00:17:49,904 --> 00:17:51,739
Oh, I'm making
icing seams

435
00:17:51,806 --> 00:17:54,141
on these little
football brownies.

436
00:17:54,209 --> 00:17:57,377
As soon as I finish,
please kill me.

437
00:17:57,445 --> 00:17:58,979
You want some help?
Yeah.

438
00:17:59,047 --> 00:18:01,749
Grab one of those
squeezy tubes. Ok.

439
00:18:01,816 --> 00:18:03,951
So what is this,
like your, uh...

440
00:18:04,018 --> 00:18:06,286
3rd or 4th date
with pruzan?

441
00:18:06,354 --> 00:18:07,988
Yup.

442
00:18:08,056 --> 00:18:10,290
So I guess you
really like him, huh?

443
00:18:10,358 --> 00:18:12,325
Oh, he-he's a really nice guy,

444
00:18:12,393 --> 00:18:15,562
and I'm really getting to
like him a lot.

445
00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:19,733
What was that?

446
00:18:19,801 --> 00:18:21,034
What?

447
00:18:21,102 --> 00:18:22,870
Just sounded like you
were gonna throw up.

448
00:18:22,937 --> 00:18:24,471
Me? No. No, no.

449
00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:26,073
Ok.

450
00:18:27,742 --> 00:18:29,019
Ok, Steph, I'm
gonna have to ask you

451
00:18:29,043 --> 00:18:31,544
to take a step away
from the brownies now.

452
00:18:31,612 --> 00:18:32,913
Carrie,
I-I-I-I can't do this.

453
00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:34,281
I can't do this
anymore.

454
00:18:34,348 --> 00:18:35,448
You can't do what?
What?

455
00:18:35,516 --> 00:18:37,050
Go out with freako.

456
00:18:37,118 --> 00:18:39,386
He's the weirdest guy
I've ever met.

457
00:18:39,453 --> 00:18:41,989
He has marionettes
sitting on chairs.

458
00:18:43,258 --> 00:18:45,558
Yes! Yes!
He is a freak.

459
00:18:45,626 --> 00:18:47,494
I knew you couldn't like him.
I knew it!

460
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:50,363
What? Then... then why
did you set me up with him?

461
00:18:50,431 --> 00:18:51,698
Doug made me.

462
00:18:51,766 --> 00:18:53,267
Why do you keep
goin' out with him?

463
00:18:53,334 --> 00:18:54,701
Doug made me!

464
00:18:56,237 --> 00:18:59,039
He is the devil.

465
00:18:59,107 --> 00:19:01,574
And those are your
starting lineups.

466
00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:03,043
Doug, I really need to talk...

467
00:19:04,112 --> 00:19:06,079
Doug, she needs
to talk to you.

468
00:19:07,282 --> 00:19:08,381
Shut up, Spence.

469
00:19:08,449 --> 00:19:09,883
Right-o.

470
00:19:09,951 --> 00:19:11,251
I'll tell you what,
Steph.

471
00:19:11,319 --> 00:19:13,854
Halftime, after Britney
Spears, I'm all yours.

472
00:19:13,922 --> 00:19:15,222
Come on, Steph.

473
00:19:15,290 --> 00:19:17,130
Why don't you take a
seat right here on my lap?

474
00:19:17,158 --> 00:19:19,559
No. I really need to talk to
my brother right now. All right?

475
00:19:19,627 --> 00:19:22,495
Come on, Steph. Come
and sit on pappy's lappy.

476
00:19:24,098 --> 00:19:25,966
I don't want to sit
on pappy's lappy.

477
00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:28,936
Sure you do. It's smooth
like a Western saddle.

478
00:19:30,238 --> 00:19:31,504
I don't wanna sit
on your lap.

479
00:19:31,572 --> 00:19:33,307
I don't even want to
go out with you.

480
00:19:33,374 --> 00:19:36,776
I just did it 'cause my
dumb-ass brother made me!

481
00:19:43,351 --> 00:19:45,518
I have a lot more
girls for you.

482
00:19:45,586 --> 00:19:47,054
Gwen?
Gwen from accounting?

483
00:19:47,121 --> 00:19:49,323
Everyone's had her.
I'm gonna hook that up.

484
00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:51,325
So I'm just... I'm just
gonna put this here.

485
00:19:51,392 --> 00:19:53,060
You guys
can nosh on that.

486
00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:55,195
You make peace with
your God. You die tonight.

487
00:20:02,436 --> 00:20:03,436
All right.

488
00:20:05,139 --> 00:20:07,040
Well, we got the skirts
outta here.

489
00:20:07,108 --> 00:20:09,977
Now we can watch the game
without a lot of,

490
00:20:12,013 --> 00:20:14,781
without a lot of yap-yap.
All right.

491
00:20:14,849 --> 00:20:18,518
C.B.S. Sports presents
super bowl 35.

492
00:20:18,586 --> 00:20:20,020
I'm such a fool.

493
00:20:21,122 --> 00:20:23,023
Way to go, pruzan.

494
00:20:23,091 --> 00:20:27,361
You lost her because
you moved too damn fast!

495
00:20:27,428 --> 00:20:30,297
Stupid, stupid, stupid,
stupid, stupid.

496
00:20:37,405 --> 00:20:39,139
W-What happened?

497
00:20:39,207 --> 00:20:41,208
He switched the channel
to a.M.C.

498
00:20:41,276 --> 00:20:42,609
Well, change it back,
man.

499
00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:44,878
I can't. He cracked the
remote. It's not changing!

500
00:20:44,946 --> 00:20:46,346
Well, change it on the t.V.

501
00:20:46,414 --> 00:20:47,514
I don't see
any button.

502
00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:48,782
It's smooth!

503
00:20:48,849 --> 00:20:50,250
Maybe there's
a panel that pops up.

504
00:20:50,318 --> 00:20:51,484
No, man.

505
00:20:51,552 --> 00:20:53,220
A lot of these are
voice-activated.

506
00:20:53,288 --> 00:20:55,923
Channel, change!
Channel, change!

507
00:20:55,990 --> 00:20:56,924
Channel 2.

508
00:20:56,991 --> 00:20:57,991
Super bowl.

509
00:20:58,026 --> 00:20:59,026
Welcome home.

510
00:20:59,093 --> 00:21:00,427
Super bowl.

511
00:21:00,494 --> 00:21:02,095
Maybe it detects
motion, man.

512
00:21:05,633 --> 00:21:08,501
For the love of God!
Football now!

513
00:21:11,906 --> 00:21:14,074
Whoa! A one-handed catch!

514
00:21:14,142 --> 00:21:16,076
He's at the 20.
He's at the 10.

515
00:21:16,144 --> 00:21:19,046
Touchdown! Oh, my.

516
00:21:19,113 --> 00:21:22,715
Now that's one you have
to actually see to believe.