1 00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:33,933 Dad, for the 3rd time, 2 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,201 your dinner's ready! 3 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:36,769 And for the 3rd time, 4 00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:39,172 I'm still shaving my ears! 5 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,941 Well, hurry up. You're gonna be late! 6 00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:43,876 All right. Ready to rock when you are. 7 00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:46,112 Oh, come on. You're wearing that? 8 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,281 What's wrong with my outfit? 9 00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:51,184 Ok, outfit is an awfully big word for what you've done here, my friend. 10 00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:53,753 We're goin' to the circus. What, I gotta throw on a tux 11 00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:56,122 to watch a clown light his ass on fire? 12 00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:57,890 It's not a regular circus. 13 00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,892 It's French. It's Cirque de Soleil. 14 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,428 They have men with wings dancing in the air. 15 00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:06,216 More like Cirque de so gay. 16 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:09,019 And they have those female contortionists, 17 00:01:09,086 --> 00:01:10,820 you know, that bend their legs 18 00:01:10,888 --> 00:01:12,855 all the way around the back over the head. 19 00:01:12,923 --> 00:01:14,624 That's where they lose me, right there. 20 00:01:14,691 --> 00:01:16,970 I need a little more distance between the sun and the moon. 21 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:21,464 All right. Let's get this over with. 22 00:01:21,532 --> 00:01:24,734 Oh, dad, you look great! 23 00:01:25,903 --> 00:01:28,271 Just promise you won't bury me in this. 24 00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:31,074 You're all over my clothes, but he gets to wear a shirt 25 00:01:31,142 --> 00:01:33,276 with anchors and ukuleles on it? 26 00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:35,645 Yes. I told you, I signed dad up 27 00:01:35,712 --> 00:01:37,580 for that package of theme dances 28 00:01:37,648 --> 00:01:39,015 at the senior center. 29 00:01:39,083 --> 00:01:40,983 Oh, that's right. Yeah, the thing you told me 30 00:01:41,052 --> 00:01:43,553 to act positive about in front of him. 31 00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:45,688 Yes, I did say to be positive 32 00:01:45,756 --> 00:01:47,524 because it is a good thing. 33 00:01:49,493 --> 00:01:52,228 Tonight's theme is Maui madness. 34 00:01:52,296 --> 00:01:54,030 Well, I think you look great, Arthur. 35 00:01:54,098 --> 00:01:57,300 I like the way the purple brings out the veins in your legs. 36 00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,568 Outta here, get out. 37 00:02:00,404 --> 00:02:02,238 What the hell do you call this, anyway? 38 00:02:02,306 --> 00:02:05,007 I call it fish, like most people. 39 00:02:05,076 --> 00:02:07,743 Is it too late to substitute something enjoyable? 40 00:02:07,811 --> 00:02:11,247 Dad, your cholesterol is now, like, the low 700s. 41 00:02:11,315 --> 00:02:12,882 Come on, the fish is good for you. 42 00:02:12,950 --> 00:02:14,617 I don't care. I want bacon. 43 00:02:14,685 --> 00:02:16,586 Oh, ok. You want bacon? I'll give you bacon. 44 00:02:16,653 --> 00:02:18,521 Just make sure you wave hi to grandma 45 00:02:18,589 --> 00:02:20,790 as you're going towards the light, ok? 46 00:02:23,627 --> 00:02:25,395 Oh, my God. Doug, it's late. 47 00:02:25,463 --> 00:02:27,730 Would you mind dropping dad off at the senior center 48 00:02:27,798 --> 00:02:28,998 while I finish getting ready? 49 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,333 Mind? You kiddin' me? 50 00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:33,470 Between that and the French circus, this is a dream night. 51 00:02:33,537 --> 00:02:35,972 Ok, dad, come on. Medicine time. 52 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:37,507 Ok... 53 00:02:39,176 --> 00:02:41,043 Red, yellow, 54 00:02:41,112 --> 00:02:42,445 and big blue. 55 00:02:44,181 --> 00:02:45,281 Good. 56 00:02:48,552 --> 00:02:51,287 Ah. There. Happy? 57 00:02:51,355 --> 00:02:53,055 Take big blue. 58 00:02:53,124 --> 00:02:54,390 I took it. 59 00:02:55,559 --> 00:02:56,892 See? 60 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,829 Get it out of your sock and swallow it. 61 00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:01,331 Yes, mein fuehrer! 62 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,100 Oh! I almost forgot something. 63 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,141 Eeh, yeah! 64 00:03:12,075 --> 00:03:13,976 Oh, dad, 65 00:03:14,044 --> 00:03:16,212 you look so adorable. 66 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,381 Ok, ok! Have a good time. Bye-bye. 67 00:03:21,084 --> 00:03:23,819 Is there any chance I can use this to hang myself? 68 00:03:34,165 --> 00:03:35,465 Hey, hey. 69 00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:37,600 The joint is really jumping. 70 00:03:39,203 --> 00:03:40,870 Look, there's your buddy Mickey. 71 00:03:40,937 --> 00:03:42,838 Oh, aloha! 72 00:03:42,906 --> 00:03:44,974 Ready to hang 10? 73 00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:49,546 Yeah. 74 00:03:49,613 --> 00:03:51,714 Let's go. Hurry! 75 00:03:51,782 --> 00:03:54,217 All right, I'll see you in a few hours. 76 00:03:59,190 --> 00:04:00,756 Brutal. 77 00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:12,502 Hey, daddy-o! 78 00:04:23,547 --> 00:04:25,047 Howdy, pardner! 79 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:28,117 Come on. 80 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,952 What is wrong with that man? 81 00:04:33,624 --> 00:04:36,259 So, it's outer space night, huh? 82 00:04:38,995 --> 00:04:41,264 I like it a lot better than pajama party night. 83 00:04:41,332 --> 00:04:44,634 I gotta be honest. I didn't expect to see so many negligees. 84 00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:46,603 I mean, there were a few secrets 85 00:04:46,670 --> 00:04:49,772 Victoria should have kept to herself, am I right? 86 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,006 Pull over. 87 00:04:51,074 --> 00:04:52,208 I'm sorry, what? 88 00:04:52,276 --> 00:04:54,210 Pull the car over, Douglas. 89 00:04:54,278 --> 00:04:56,446 Arthur, we're still 6 blocks away. 90 00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:57,513 Do it. 91 00:05:01,852 --> 00:05:03,720 Look, I... I think we're in a bus Lane here. 92 00:05:03,787 --> 00:05:05,521 Douglas, look me in the eye. 93 00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:10,826 Hi. 94 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,662 You gotta help me out here. 95 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,564 I can't go to that place again. 96 00:05:14,632 --> 00:05:16,232 I just can't. 97 00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:17,634 Why not? 98 00:05:17,701 --> 00:05:19,402 Have you taken a good look? 99 00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:22,405 That place is like death's greenroom. 100 00:05:22,473 --> 00:05:24,807 Well, it's no Hooters, I'll give you that. 101 00:05:24,875 --> 00:05:26,876 But really, what is? 102 00:05:26,943 --> 00:05:28,077 Listen to me. 103 00:05:28,145 --> 00:05:29,879 I know this fellow named Chick. 104 00:05:29,946 --> 00:05:32,081 He's hipped me to some clubs down at the docks. 105 00:05:32,149 --> 00:05:33,716 Let me go down there tonight. 106 00:05:33,784 --> 00:05:35,017 The docks? 107 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,353 What am I supposed to tell Carrie? 108 00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:38,688 She doesn't have to know. 109 00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:41,023 I'll be back at the center by 10:00. 110 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,759 Douglas, I'm beggin'. 111 00:05:42,826 --> 00:05:44,860 There's a taxi stand at the corner. 112 00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:47,229 Please give me back the night! 113 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,434 Go ahead. Go on. Get outta here. 114 00:05:51,502 --> 00:05:53,002 Oh, thank you, friend! 115 00:05:53,069 --> 00:05:55,137 So, you won't tell Carrie? 116 00:05:55,205 --> 00:05:57,173 Tell Carrie what? 117 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:58,641 About our arrangement. 118 00:05:58,709 --> 00:06:00,209 I know. I was doing the thing 119 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,255 where I pretend to not even know what you're talkin' about. 120 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,279 I don't follow you. 121 00:06:03,347 --> 00:06:04,387 Just go. Just go. Just go. 122 00:06:04,415 --> 00:06:05,682 Right, right. 123 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,188 Wait, take... take off your antennae! 124 00:06:20,163 --> 00:06:22,064 Boy, some of these people really went for it 125 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,466 with the space costumes, huh? 126 00:06:24,735 --> 00:06:27,437 Oh, check out the guy with the oxygen tanks. 127 00:06:27,504 --> 00:06:29,472 Actually, I think those are real. 128 00:06:32,008 --> 00:06:34,577 So where's my dad? Why hasn't he come out yet? 129 00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:35,845 You know him. 130 00:06:35,912 --> 00:06:37,913 He's probably stealing some cookies or something. 131 00:06:39,783 --> 00:06:41,183 Oh, hi, Mickey. 132 00:06:41,251 --> 00:06:43,686 Hey, you're lookin' good there. 133 00:06:43,754 --> 00:06:45,855 Oh, thank you. 134 00:06:45,922 --> 00:06:47,990 If you ever get tired of your big boy, 135 00:06:48,058 --> 00:06:49,759 my planet needs women. 136 00:06:51,094 --> 00:06:52,228 I'll let you know. 137 00:06:52,295 --> 00:06:54,063 So, is my dad still in there? 138 00:06:54,130 --> 00:06:55,832 He never showed up. 139 00:06:57,801 --> 00:06:58,968 Funny story. 140 00:07:02,979 --> 00:07:04,713 What the hell were you thinking? 141 00:07:04,781 --> 00:07:06,447 He promised he'd be back by 10:00. 142 00:07:06,515 --> 00:07:07,883 Yeah, well, he also promised 143 00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:09,685 to wear underwear underneath his bathrobe, 144 00:07:09,752 --> 00:07:12,387 but we know how that worked out, don't we? 145 00:07:12,454 --> 00:07:13,855 All right, well, he's not at home, 146 00:07:13,923 --> 00:07:15,824 and didn't leave a message on the machine. 147 00:07:15,892 --> 00:07:16,892 This is just great. 148 00:07:16,959 --> 00:07:17,993 Will you relax, ok? 149 00:07:18,061 --> 00:07:19,260 I know exactly where he is. 150 00:07:19,328 --> 00:07:20,962 Oh, really? Would you mind telling me? 151 00:07:21,030 --> 00:07:23,231 He's down by the, uh, you know, 152 00:07:23,299 --> 00:07:24,566 the, uh, docks. 153 00:07:25,301 --> 00:07:27,268 The docks? 154 00:07:27,336 --> 00:07:29,347 Oh, that sounds like a perfect place for an old man with gout. 155 00:07:29,371 --> 00:07:30,939 Where at the docks? 156 00:07:31,007 --> 00:07:33,385 He didn't specify, but he did tell me who he was gonna be with. 157 00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:34,342 Who? 158 00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:36,211 A gentleman named Chick. 159 00:07:36,813 --> 00:07:37,846 Chick? 160 00:07:37,914 --> 00:07:39,781 It's a nickname. Probably short for... 161 00:07:39,849 --> 00:07:41,983 Chicken. 162 00:07:42,051 --> 00:07:44,786 I can't believe you let him run off. 163 00:07:44,854 --> 00:07:46,755 God, what if something happened to him? 164 00:07:46,823 --> 00:07:49,357 He can take care of himself. Will you stop worryin'? 165 00:07:49,425 --> 00:07:51,093 All right, now, we'll go down there, 166 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,762 we'll check out a few places, and I'm sure we'll find him. 167 00:07:53,830 --> 00:07:55,831 Don't forget to drop me off first. 168 00:07:55,898 --> 00:07:58,800 Oh, we won't, Mickey. Where... where should I turn? 169 00:07:58,868 --> 00:08:00,035 I don't know. 170 00:08:01,771 --> 00:08:03,338 You don't know? 171 00:08:03,405 --> 00:08:07,308 Well, I just moved in a couple of months ago. 172 00:08:07,376 --> 00:08:10,545 Ok, well... well, can you give me something, a... a landmark? 173 00:08:11,614 --> 00:08:13,815 I live next door to the Johnsons. 174 00:08:14,650 --> 00:08:15,951 They're colored. 175 00:08:17,386 --> 00:08:18,386 Ok. 176 00:08:24,961 --> 00:08:26,361 Hello, young lovers. 177 00:08:27,496 --> 00:08:28,864 Attaboy, arty. 178 00:08:28,931 --> 00:08:30,531 Hey, Chicky! 179 00:08:30,599 --> 00:08:32,400 To life! To love! 180 00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:33,501 To the ladies. 181 00:08:33,569 --> 00:08:34,702 I'll drink to that. 182 00:08:34,771 --> 00:08:36,805 May I freshen your Rusty nail, enid? 183 00:08:36,873 --> 00:08:39,007 You aren't goin' anywhere, fella. 184 00:08:39,075 --> 00:08:40,441 I aims to please. 185 00:08:43,146 --> 00:08:45,346 Hey, Carrie! He's in this one! 186 00:08:45,414 --> 00:08:47,015 Hey, Douglas! Welcome! 187 00:08:47,083 --> 00:08:48,516 I want you to meet the gang. 188 00:08:48,584 --> 00:08:49,985 That's Chick and Monica. 189 00:08:50,052 --> 00:08:51,519 How do you do? Hi, how are ya? 190 00:08:51,587 --> 00:08:53,588 And this young lady is enid. 191 00:08:53,656 --> 00:08:56,224 Pleasure to meet you. 192 00:08:56,292 --> 00:08:57,993 A delightful morsel, am I right? 193 00:08:58,060 --> 00:09:01,129 Oh, yes. She's very... can I see you for a second, please? 194 00:09:01,197 --> 00:09:03,665 What the hell's goin' on? You're supposed to be back by 10:00. 195 00:09:03,732 --> 00:09:05,167 And I will. What time is it now? 196 00:09:05,234 --> 00:09:06,467 It's 1:30 in the morning! 197 00:09:06,535 --> 00:09:07,568 Wow! 198 00:09:08,805 --> 00:09:10,638 Sorry, big guy. Truth is, 199 00:09:10,706 --> 00:09:13,474 I have something marvelous going on with enid. 200 00:09:14,911 --> 00:09:16,011 Enid, huh? 201 00:09:16,078 --> 00:09:17,012 Yeah. 202 00:09:17,079 --> 00:09:18,814 She's not bad. 203 00:09:18,881 --> 00:09:21,683 Kind of has that worldly, smoky quality. 204 00:09:22,651 --> 00:09:25,453 So, can you buy me a little time? 205 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:26,765 I'm gonna level with you, Arthur. 206 00:09:26,789 --> 00:09:28,356 Dad? We're dead men. 207 00:09:28,424 --> 00:09:30,025 He's fine. I told you he was fine. 208 00:09:30,092 --> 00:09:32,260 Dad... dad, what have you been doing? 209 00:09:32,328 --> 00:09:34,963 I have been worried half out of my mind about you! 210 00:09:35,031 --> 00:09:37,165 Any chance we can discuss this later, darling? 211 00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:38,499 Maybe tomorrow? 212 00:09:38,567 --> 00:09:40,902 Have you been drinking hard liquor? 213 00:09:40,970 --> 00:09:42,971 I may have had a sip or two of a Rob Roy. 214 00:09:43,039 --> 00:09:44,072 Why do you ask? 215 00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:46,374 Because you have half a liver, 216 00:09:46,442 --> 00:09:48,043 and you're on 9 medications 217 00:09:48,110 --> 00:09:50,245 that say, "do not take with alcohol." 218 00:09:50,313 --> 00:09:51,880 That's why I ask. 219 00:09:51,948 --> 00:09:53,781 Wow, you weren't kiddin', arty. 220 00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:54,983 Short leash. 221 00:09:55,051 --> 00:09:56,284 Who the hell are you? 222 00:09:56,352 --> 00:09:57,452 I'm Chick Dugan. 223 00:09:57,519 --> 00:09:59,287 Who are you, his nurse? 224 00:10:00,256 --> 00:10:01,489 No, I am his daughter, 225 00:10:01,557 --> 00:10:03,624 and we are in the middle of a private conversation, 226 00:10:03,692 --> 00:10:05,793 so why don't you go shake down the vending machines? 227 00:10:05,862 --> 00:10:07,595 Ooh, excuse me. 228 00:10:07,663 --> 00:10:09,564 That's why I like 'em post-menopause. 229 00:10:09,631 --> 00:10:10,932 Oh, I hear that. 230 00:10:12,768 --> 00:10:14,970 Listen, darling, why don't you kids head for home... 231 00:10:15,037 --> 00:10:17,638 Oh, dad, don't be ridiculous. It's almost 2:00 in the morning. 232 00:10:17,706 --> 00:10:19,807 Now, we're going home. Say goodbye to your friends. 233 00:10:19,876 --> 00:10:21,142 I'll meet you in the car. 234 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,423 Come on, Arthur. We should... we should get going. 235 00:10:25,447 --> 00:10:26,447 Right. 236 00:10:26,515 --> 00:10:29,517 Arty, take care of yourself. 237 00:10:30,386 --> 00:10:31,519 You, too, kiddo. 238 00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:33,521 All right. Come on, partner. Let's go, huh? 239 00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,190 Plenty more where that came from. 240 00:10:35,258 --> 00:10:36,324 Sure. 241 00:10:36,392 --> 00:10:38,693 The living room is filled with adventure. 242 00:10:48,170 --> 00:10:50,605 Dad, come inside! What are you gonna do, 243 00:10:50,672 --> 00:10:52,007 sleep in the car? 244 00:10:55,411 --> 00:10:56,711 Good night! 245 00:11:03,152 --> 00:11:04,719 How dare you? 246 00:11:04,787 --> 00:11:07,389 How dare me? How dare you? 247 00:11:07,456 --> 00:11:09,657 No, how dare you? 248 00:11:09,725 --> 00:11:11,126 How dare you? 249 00:11:11,193 --> 00:11:13,795 All right, let's just get the fight going. 250 00:11:13,862 --> 00:11:16,064 You humiliated me in front of my friends. 251 00:11:16,132 --> 00:11:17,698 I got news for you, sweetheart. 252 00:11:17,766 --> 00:11:19,034 You're my daughter, 253 00:11:19,101 --> 00:11:20,668 not the other way around! 254 00:11:20,736 --> 00:11:23,704 Well, if you don't want to be treated like a child, 255 00:11:23,772 --> 00:11:25,440 then don't act like one. 256 00:11:25,507 --> 00:11:27,608 I did not act like a child! 257 00:11:27,676 --> 00:11:30,312 Dad, you ran off, you didn't call, you didn't leave a message, 258 00:11:30,379 --> 00:11:32,780 you were drinking, and I gotta be honest with you, dad, ok? 259 00:11:32,848 --> 00:11:34,149 Your date looked like a pro. 260 00:11:34,216 --> 00:11:35,650 How dare you? 261 00:11:35,717 --> 00:11:37,319 Ok, let's not backtrack. 262 00:11:37,386 --> 00:11:38,886 I've got news for you, sweetheart. 263 00:11:38,955 --> 00:11:41,022 Tonight was the first night I felt alive 264 00:11:41,090 --> 00:11:42,790 since you dragged me into this house. 265 00:11:42,858 --> 00:11:44,859 But you couldn't stand to see it, could you? No! 266 00:11:44,927 --> 00:11:46,127 You had to hobble me, 267 00:11:46,195 --> 00:11:48,029 like that fat broad in misery. 268 00:11:49,999 --> 00:11:52,533 I am not trying to hobble you, dad. 269 00:11:52,601 --> 00:11:54,702 I am trying to look after you. 270 00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:56,804 I care about you, that's all. 271 00:11:56,872 --> 00:11:58,373 Douglas, I appeal to you. 272 00:11:58,441 --> 00:12:00,675 Am I crazy, or did she spill my plums 273 00:12:00,742 --> 00:12:03,178 all over that barroom floor? 274 00:12:03,245 --> 00:12:04,712 Actually, I gotta tell you, hon, 275 00:12:04,780 --> 00:12:06,747 you were a little rough on him back there. 276 00:12:06,815 --> 00:12:08,450 You were. 277 00:12:08,517 --> 00:12:10,285 All right, don't you start in on me, 278 00:12:10,353 --> 00:12:11,819 because this is your fault, too. 279 00:12:11,887 --> 00:12:13,221 My fault? Yes! 280 00:12:13,289 --> 00:12:15,190 All you had to do was drop him off 281 00:12:15,257 --> 00:12:17,158 at the senior center. Simple thing. 282 00:12:17,226 --> 00:12:18,506 He's a grown man. He wanted out. 283 00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:20,261 What am I gonna do, lock him in the car? 284 00:12:20,329 --> 00:12:22,663 Yes! You can lock all the doors from the driver's side! 285 00:12:22,731 --> 00:12:23,865 I showed you that! 286 00:12:23,932 --> 00:12:25,400 If it didn't happen tonight, 287 00:12:25,468 --> 00:12:27,068 it was gonna happen eventually. 288 00:12:27,136 --> 00:12:28,603 I gotta be honest with you. 289 00:12:28,670 --> 00:12:30,505 I've been observing you for quite a while, 290 00:12:30,572 --> 00:12:32,040 and you've been stifling him. 291 00:12:32,108 --> 00:12:35,310 Stifling him? Is that what you've observed, Doug? 292 00:12:35,378 --> 00:12:36,777 Yeah, yeah. Oh. Oh, oh, ok. 293 00:12:36,845 --> 00:12:38,880 'Cause I thought your view might've been blocked 294 00:12:38,947 --> 00:12:40,948 by the dorito bag you always have your head in. 295 00:12:41,017 --> 00:12:42,283 How dare you? 296 00:12:42,351 --> 00:12:44,252 All right. Anyway, what I'm sayin' is, 297 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:45,553 just back off him, ok? 298 00:12:45,621 --> 00:12:47,622 You've been running his life like a drill sergeant. 299 00:12:47,689 --> 00:12:48,723 Oh. Really? 300 00:12:48,790 --> 00:12:50,791 And... and what, you think you can do better? 301 00:12:50,859 --> 00:12:52,793 I would've made some different choices, yeah. 302 00:12:52,861 --> 00:12:53,794 Would ya? 303 00:12:53,862 --> 00:12:54,896 Indeed, I would. 304 00:12:54,963 --> 00:12:56,797 Indeed, you would? Hmm. 305 00:12:56,865 --> 00:12:59,367 Ok, ok. Obviously I'm in the wrong here. 306 00:12:59,435 --> 00:13:01,236 I mean, you think so. He thinks so. 307 00:13:01,303 --> 00:13:02,770 Even Chick thinks so. 308 00:13:02,838 --> 00:13:04,772 So, um, you know what? 309 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,707 As of this moment, I am out of it. 310 00:13:06,775 --> 00:13:08,410 You can make all the decisions. 311 00:13:08,477 --> 00:13:09,977 He belongs to you. 312 00:13:10,046 --> 00:13:11,812 Fine. I'll do it. It's no big deal. 313 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,082 Ok. Just... that works for you, too, dad? 314 00:13:14,150 --> 00:13:17,352 Douglas would be a breath of fresh air. 315 00:13:17,420 --> 00:13:19,087 Ok. Well, have fun, ladies. 316 00:13:19,155 --> 00:13:21,156 Oh, we'll have more than fun, Mary Jane. 317 00:13:21,223 --> 00:13:22,557 We'll have so much damn fun, 318 00:13:22,624 --> 00:13:24,725 the neighbors will think it's weird. 319 00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:28,096 Ok. 320 00:13:33,406 --> 00:13:35,274 All right, art deco. Give me an update. 321 00:13:35,341 --> 00:13:38,010 How are we lookin' with the waffle iron? 322 00:13:38,077 --> 00:13:40,712 It would appear to have reached optimal temperature. 323 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:43,748 Now hit me with a load of Dougie batter. 324 00:13:43,817 --> 00:13:45,017 Let's start with the waffles 325 00:13:45,084 --> 00:13:46,819 and see what happens, huh? 326 00:13:46,886 --> 00:13:49,688 Ah, the sound of good eatin'. 327 00:13:49,755 --> 00:13:50,856 Good mornin'. 328 00:13:50,924 --> 00:13:52,357 Oh, hello. 329 00:13:52,425 --> 00:13:54,226 What've you guys got goin' on there? 330 00:13:54,294 --> 00:13:56,829 We're livin' our life. Now, back off, sister! 331 00:13:58,264 --> 00:14:01,900 Easy. I'm just getting some juice. 332 00:14:01,968 --> 00:14:05,003 By the by, Douglas, I wanna take this opportunity to thank you 333 00:14:05,071 --> 00:14:07,105 for involving me in the morning goings-on. 334 00:14:07,173 --> 00:14:09,074 Oh, well, you're very welcome, Arthur. 335 00:14:09,142 --> 00:14:10,742 And may I add that your wisdom 336 00:14:10,810 --> 00:14:12,811 has enriched the waffle-making process. 337 00:14:12,879 --> 00:14:15,214 Kudos on the nutmeg. 338 00:14:15,281 --> 00:14:17,115 I surely appreciate that. 339 00:14:17,183 --> 00:14:19,318 Oh, it's, uh, right around the time 340 00:14:19,385 --> 00:14:23,055 when my pills are usually forced down my gullet. 341 00:14:23,122 --> 00:14:25,324 Douglas, do you mind if I take them later, 342 00:14:25,391 --> 00:14:26,892 of my own volition? 343 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,560 I don't know what "volition" means, 344 00:14:28,627 --> 00:14:31,230 but I certainly understand "later." That'd be fine. 345 00:14:31,297 --> 00:14:33,999 Thank you for that shred of respect. 346 00:14:34,067 --> 00:14:35,968 Well, I gotta say, 347 00:14:36,035 --> 00:14:38,670 this is working out delightfully. 348 00:14:38,738 --> 00:14:40,739 I mean, everything's under control, 349 00:14:40,806 --> 00:14:43,408 wafflemania's in progress, 350 00:14:43,476 --> 00:14:45,878 and guess who's got a free afternoon 351 00:14:45,945 --> 00:14:47,913 to get a manicure? Hi, me! 352 00:14:53,786 --> 00:14:56,321 Oh, look, Douglas. Scissors. 353 00:14:56,389 --> 00:14:58,190 May I run with them? 354 00:15:01,227 --> 00:15:03,262 Be my guest, Arthur. 355 00:15:03,329 --> 00:15:04,529 Ooh, look! 356 00:15:04,597 --> 00:15:06,831 I'm running with the scissors, 357 00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:10,468 and I'm not dead! Whoo-hoo, look at me! 358 00:15:11,637 --> 00:15:12,804 Good one. 359 00:15:12,872 --> 00:15:14,339 Oh, watch this. 360 00:15:14,407 --> 00:15:16,275 Oh, look, a fork. 361 00:15:16,342 --> 00:15:20,445 Douglas, do you mind if I stick it in the toaster? 362 00:15:20,513 --> 00:15:22,580 Actually, yes. Don't do that. 363 00:15:22,648 --> 00:15:24,216 Ok, guys, I'm going. 364 00:15:24,284 --> 00:15:27,019 Doug, don't forget to run his errands with him. 365 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:28,787 Errands? 366 00:15:32,392 --> 00:15:33,926 You call this a haircut? 367 00:15:33,993 --> 00:15:35,827 Where are the blond highlights? 368 00:15:39,899 --> 00:15:43,402 I don't care if your sign says "no shoes, no shirt, no service." 369 00:15:43,469 --> 00:15:45,270 I want my wind chimes! 370 00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:53,178 Sorry, Douglas. It used to be here. 371 00:15:57,550 --> 00:15:59,751 Son of a gun. Not here, either. 372 00:16:03,089 --> 00:16:04,323 Be patient, Douglas. 373 00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:06,491 It's very hard to find parking here. 374 00:16:08,794 --> 00:16:11,496 I don't care how many tattoos you've got. 375 00:16:11,564 --> 00:16:14,632 You mess with me, you mess with my son-in-law! 376 00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:23,342 What a day, what a way. 377 00:16:23,409 --> 00:16:24,742 Am I right, Douglas? 378 00:16:24,810 --> 00:16:25,978 I don't know. 379 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:28,447 Boy, I'm starving. 380 00:16:28,514 --> 00:16:30,548 What's for dinner, hop sing? 381 00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:32,484 I don't know. What do you... what do you want? 382 00:16:32,551 --> 00:16:34,252 Cake. 383 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,887 Cake? You can't have cake for dinner. 384 00:16:35,955 --> 00:16:38,690 Ok, then jambalaya. 385 00:16:38,757 --> 00:16:40,225 I'll make you a grilled cheese. 386 00:16:40,293 --> 00:16:41,460 I love it. 387 00:16:43,929 --> 00:16:46,298 You know what? Here. Have a mini-doughnut. 388 00:16:46,366 --> 00:16:47,832 It'll tide you over till dinner. 389 00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:49,501 Don't mind if I do. 390 00:16:50,836 --> 00:16:53,138 Douglas, quick question. 391 00:16:53,206 --> 00:16:55,573 Is the room listing severely to the left? 392 00:16:56,709 --> 00:16:57,942 Nope. 393 00:16:58,011 --> 00:16:59,944 Then I may need my medication. 394 00:17:00,013 --> 00:17:01,546 You didn't take your pills? 395 00:17:01,614 --> 00:17:03,248 I... apparently not. 396 00:17:03,316 --> 00:17:05,117 Arthur, you said you were gonna take them! 397 00:17:05,184 --> 00:17:07,452 I was drunk with freedom. 398 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,254 All right, what do we start with here? 399 00:17:09,322 --> 00:17:10,455 Hang on, hang on. 400 00:17:10,523 --> 00:17:11,789 Start with the ear drops in, 401 00:17:11,857 --> 00:17:13,125 and for God's sakes, 402 00:17:13,192 --> 00:17:14,192 hurry. 403 00:17:14,260 --> 00:17:15,693 Well, there are 3 droppers here, 404 00:17:15,761 --> 00:17:17,629 and none of them say "ear" on it. 405 00:17:17,696 --> 00:17:19,064 Oh, God. It's Carrie. 406 00:17:19,132 --> 00:17:20,298 Hey! Hey! 407 00:17:20,366 --> 00:17:21,400 Hey! 408 00:17:21,467 --> 00:17:22,800 Everything ok here? 409 00:17:22,868 --> 00:17:24,002 Couldn't be better. 410 00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:29,174 Well, I gotta hand it to you guys. 411 00:17:29,242 --> 00:17:31,143 I had a good day, and it looks like 412 00:17:31,210 --> 00:17:32,710 you had a good day, too. 413 00:17:32,778 --> 00:17:34,212 Oh, yeah. Great day, great day. 414 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,314 Just gonna throw in the old ear drops now, 415 00:17:36,382 --> 00:17:37,849 and, uh, that'll be it. Whoo! 416 00:17:37,917 --> 00:17:40,552 Ok. But these are the ear drops. 417 00:17:40,619 --> 00:17:43,221 If you wanna use the corn remover, be my guest. 418 00:17:43,289 --> 00:17:45,023 I don't want to micromanage. 419 00:17:45,791 --> 00:17:47,025 Ok. 420 00:17:49,462 --> 00:17:51,263 All right, hang on. Relief is on the way. 421 00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:52,964 All right, come here. Tip your ears. 422 00:17:53,032 --> 00:17:54,266 The other one, other one! 423 00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:55,700 Good. There you go. 424 00:17:55,768 --> 00:17:57,969 Ok, now we just gotta get it in there. 425 00:17:59,205 --> 00:18:00,738 Easy! I'm not a Martini. 426 00:18:00,806 --> 00:18:03,208 All right, come on, relax. I wanna make sure it's in there. 427 00:18:03,276 --> 00:18:05,277 All right, now, pills, pills, pills. Here we go. 428 00:18:05,344 --> 00:18:08,180 All right, we got a red one, a blue one, and a yellow one. Here. 429 00:18:08,247 --> 00:18:10,014 I'm not taking big blue. I hate those. 430 00:18:10,083 --> 00:18:11,683 You gotta take your medicine. Open up! 431 00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:13,218 Dream on! Open the damn mouth! 432 00:18:13,286 --> 00:18:14,986 No! Look at yourself, Douglas. 433 00:18:15,054 --> 00:18:18,022 You're behaving just like her. 434 00:18:18,091 --> 00:18:21,759 Oh, my God. You're... you know what? You're absolutely right. 435 00:18:21,827 --> 00:18:24,028 I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm sorry, Arthur. 436 00:18:24,097 --> 00:18:25,397 Apology accepted. 437 00:18:25,465 --> 00:18:27,299 Yeah. Wow, 438 00:18:27,366 --> 00:18:30,569 I-I'm just gonna get, uh, dinner going. 439 00:18:30,636 --> 00:18:33,205 I'm sorry about that. I don't know what happened. 440 00:18:33,272 --> 00:18:35,240 You know what? Just to show I'm a good guy, 441 00:18:35,308 --> 00:18:36,541 why don't you, uh, 442 00:18:36,609 --> 00:18:38,076 why don't you have yourself 443 00:18:38,144 --> 00:18:40,378 another mini... mini-doughnut before dinner, huh? 444 00:18:40,446 --> 00:18:41,746 Thank you, Douglas. Ok. 445 00:18:41,814 --> 00:18:43,081 That's more like it. 446 00:18:43,149 --> 00:18:44,249 Yeah. 447 00:18:46,619 --> 00:18:48,220 I gotta tell you, Arthur, 448 00:18:48,287 --> 00:18:49,887 you put up such a good fight, 449 00:18:49,955 --> 00:18:52,424 it almost feels wrong to win. 450 00:18:52,492 --> 00:18:54,626 What're you talkin' about? 451 00:18:54,693 --> 00:18:57,429 I slipped big blue into your mini-doughnut. 452 00:18:59,365 --> 00:19:01,466 You scurvy son of a bitch! 453 00:19:05,804 --> 00:19:07,272 Delightful sandwich. 454 00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:09,374 What kind of cheese is this? 455 00:19:09,442 --> 00:19:10,842 American. 456 00:19:10,909 --> 00:19:12,844 Well, hats off to the Americans. 457 00:19:13,846 --> 00:19:15,180 Glad you like it. 458 00:19:16,315 --> 00:19:17,482 So what are you, uh, 459 00:19:17,550 --> 00:19:19,117 what do you got goin' on for tonight? 460 00:19:19,185 --> 00:19:22,654 Remember my drinking buddy, Chick, from the docks? 461 00:19:22,721 --> 00:19:25,157 He got a tip on a busted slot machine 462 00:19:25,224 --> 00:19:28,059 in one of those Indian casinos in Connecticut. 463 00:19:28,127 --> 00:19:30,295 It's payin' off like gangbusters. 464 00:19:30,363 --> 00:19:32,897 Well, you... you wanna go to Connecticut tonight? 465 00:19:32,965 --> 00:19:35,233 Sure. Chick's corvair is street-legal again, 466 00:19:35,301 --> 00:19:37,269 and I just cashed in some c.Ds. 467 00:19:37,336 --> 00:19:39,871 He's the wheels, and I'm the bank. 468 00:19:39,938 --> 00:19:42,840 Are you... are you insane, Arthur? You're... you're not goin'. 469 00:19:42,908 --> 00:19:44,276 Oh-ho-ho, I'm goin'. 470 00:19:44,343 --> 00:19:45,644 Oh-ho-ho, no, you're not. 471 00:19:45,711 --> 00:19:48,180 And who, pray tell, is gonna stop me? 472 00:19:48,247 --> 00:19:49,614 You're lookin' at him. 473 00:19:49,682 --> 00:19:52,484 Oh-ho, Douglas, you are priceless. 474 00:19:52,552 --> 00:19:54,986 For the next 8 hours, you won't be able 475 00:19:55,054 --> 00:19:56,921 to stop yourself from droolin'. 476 00:19:57,623 --> 00:19:58,623 What? 477 00:19:58,691 --> 00:20:00,659 I jammed the rest of the big blues 478 00:20:00,726 --> 00:20:02,026 in your sandwich. 479 00:20:02,094 --> 00:20:04,629 I was afraid you'd notice, but fortunately, 480 00:20:04,697 --> 00:20:07,165 you wolf down your food like a rottweiler. 481 00:20:08,668 --> 00:20:10,134 You drugged me? 482 00:20:13,239 --> 00:20:15,740 Doesn't feel too good, does it? 483 00:20:15,808 --> 00:20:18,142 So, bye-bye, sucker! 484 00:20:18,211 --> 00:20:20,011 Enjoy the pretty colors! 485 00:20:50,042 --> 00:20:51,443 Doug? 486 00:20:51,510 --> 00:20:53,111 Hey, honey! 487 00:20:55,914 --> 00:20:57,449 Where... Where's my father? 488 00:20:57,516 --> 00:21:00,118 Oh, he put the big blue pills 489 00:21:00,185 --> 00:21:02,120 in my sandwich, and he ran way. 490 00:21:02,187 --> 00:21:04,356 I love you! 491 00:21:04,423 --> 00:21:05,990 Stay with me, honey. Stay with me. 492 00:21:06,058 --> 00:21:08,192 Where exactly did he go? 493 00:21:08,261 --> 00:21:11,929 He went to a casino in connec-I-ta-cut. 494 00:21:13,165 --> 00:21:15,433 Ok, and when did he leave? 495 00:21:15,501 --> 00:21:19,271 Well, that depends on when now is... the... now. 496 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,874 Ok, I was gonna take a bath, 497 00:21:22,941 --> 00:21:24,876 but searching casinos in Connecticut 498 00:21:24,943 --> 00:21:26,444 seems just as relaxing. 499 00:21:26,512 --> 00:21:28,413 I tell you, Carrie, you were right. 500 00:21:28,481 --> 00:21:30,415 You take good care of your father. 501 00:21:30,483 --> 00:21:33,050 I was bad and stupid. 502 00:21:33,118 --> 00:21:34,252 I know, honey. 503 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,220 All right, sleep it off. 504 00:21:36,289 --> 00:21:37,489 All right. Ok. 505 00:21:37,556 --> 00:21:38,657 Hey. 506 00:21:38,724 --> 00:21:40,224 Great ass! 507 00:21:41,594 --> 00:21:42,661 Thank you. 508 00:21:43,835 --> 00:21:45,640 Yeah. This man in the picture right here. 509 00:21:45,707 --> 00:21:46,975 Have you seen him? 510 00:21:47,042 --> 00:21:48,209 Oh, yes. 511 00:21:48,277 --> 00:21:50,645 He's the one we call "little yells a lot." 512 00:21:50,712 --> 00:21:52,781 He left about 15 minutes ago.