1 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:36,303 Wow. They broke up a cock-fighting ring in Brooklyn. 2 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,939 Now they're gonna have to put all the chickens to sleep. 3 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,007 That makes me kind of sad. 4 00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,109 And yet you can suck on a drumstick 5 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:44,677 till it sparkles. 6 00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:48,949 You don't think I feel bad after that? 7 00:00:51,953 --> 00:00:55,621 Honey, I am making dinner for your Uncle and your cousin. 8 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:56,957 A little help here? 9 00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:58,558 What? I'm... I'm coolin' the rolls. 10 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,626 All right. Come on, help. Bring something out. 11 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,363 I don't even wanna have this stupid dinner, anyway. 12 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:06,233 Come on, your cousin Danny really likes you. Give him a break. 13 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,501 I don't wanna give him a break. He's annoying. 14 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,738 He's like the human version of sand in my underwear. 15 00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:14,674 Well, it'll be nice to see your Uncle stu, right? You like him. 16 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:17,110 Oh, he's ok, although for that big wet kiss he gives me 17 00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:18,778 every time he sees me. That's brutal. 18 00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:20,480 Oh, he just cares about you. 19 00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:22,448 He just likes to show it through 20 00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:24,717 awkward physical man-love, that's all. 21 00:01:25,887 --> 00:01:27,120 Well, I'm off. 22 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,721 What? Where you goin'? 23 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,224 I was at the mall yesterday, and a young man with a clipboard 24 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,559 asked me to assist him in some market research 25 00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,862 concerning an upcoming movie. 26 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,530 What movie? 27 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,565 She's got the stuff. 28 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,701 "It's the story about 5 kids from Pittsburgh 29 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:42,869 "tryin' to get some 30 00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:44,771 on the wildest spring break ever." 31 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,572 Oh, that sounds right up your alley, dad. 32 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,741 But don't you remember? Stu's in from New Orleans? 33 00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:50,277 We're having a whole family dinner. 34 00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,811 I'm sorry, darling, 35 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,780 but, uh, I promised this young man I'd be there. 36 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:56,950 So what? A movie is a team effort! 37 00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,786 What if... 38 00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:03,023 Mr. Freddie Prinze, Jr. just decided he didn't wanna show up for work? 39 00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:04,257 What then? 40 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,491 Let him go! 41 00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,294 All right, fine. Go, have fun. 42 00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:08,528 Good night! Good night. 43 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,131 Oh, they're here. 44 00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:13,066 Pucker up. 45 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:15,001 Oh, I got an idea! 46 00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:17,647 When Uncle stu makes his move, I'm just gonna tell him I'm sick, huh? 47 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,205 Yeah. You're a genius. 48 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:21,541 Hey, sweetie. Hey! 49 00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:22,775 Where's your dad? 50 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,044 Oh, he's, uh, parkin' the car. 51 00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:25,578 Listen, here's the deal. Real quick. 52 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,686 He doesn't know my pizza place went out of business, 53 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,988 and he's not exactly up to speed with my wife leavin' me, 54 00:02:30,051 --> 00:02:31,684 so stay away from those 2 subjects. 55 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:34,254 Other than that, let's have a nice time. 56 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:35,956 Hi! Hey! 57 00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:37,257 Carrie! 58 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:39,859 Doug. 59 00:02:41,095 --> 00:02:43,629 You know what? I, uh... I got a cold. Sorry. 60 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,565 Well, don't worry. So do I. 61 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,704 Carrie, this meatloaf is the best thing 62 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,506 I've ever eaten in my life. 63 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,508 Couldn't be more delightful. 64 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:58,178 Well, if there's one thing I've learned being married to Doug, 65 00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:00,880 it's how to shape ground meat into a pile. Yeah. 66 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,585 Hey, when these two come to your pizza place, 67 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,253 you, uh, take care of 'em, huh? 68 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:08,955 He takes care of you, right? 69 00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:10,923 Uh, a-absolutely. 70 00:03:10,992 --> 00:03:12,959 Yeah, we, uh, never spend a dime in there. 71 00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,227 Good. 72 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:16,896 And he catered a party for us once for... for free. 73 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,531 A whole party? 74 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,533 What, are you tryin' to be a big shot? 75 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,768 For God sakes, you gotta cover your nut. 76 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,372 Right, right. And sorry, sorry. 77 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,940 Yeah, he tries to buy love, this kid. 78 00:03:28,009 --> 00:03:29,842 You got a wife at home for that. 79 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,178 Look, you're running a business. 80 00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:34,381 Hey, Artie's back. 81 00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,649 Hey. Hello, Arthur. 82 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,721 Forgive me for missing dinner, but I had a professional commitment. 83 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,189 I simply couldn't get out of it. 84 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,625 Well, better late than never. 85 00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,193 By the way, Daniel, 86 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,362 I, uh, drove by your pizza place. 87 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,498 What happened? Did you have a fire? 88 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,467 Uh, no. 89 00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:56,503 Then why was it all boarded up? 90 00:03:56,570 --> 00:04:00,106 Arthur, you, uh, must be talking about the wrong pizza place. 91 00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:03,643 No, 1540 bell boulevard, next to Phil's house of magic. 92 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,078 Oh, we love that place! 93 00:04:05,146 --> 00:04:07,247 Remember, you got stuck in those Chinese handcuffs? 94 00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:10,383 Oh, yeah. I was, like, "whoa, whoa, whoa!" Yeah. 95 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:13,686 I can laugh about it now, but it was scary then. 96 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,689 Danny, you having a problem with your pizza shop? 97 00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,493 It's gone. 98 00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:22,562 I... I lost the business a couple months ago. 99 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:25,198 Oh, my God. 100 00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:28,101 So, how have you and Eva been getting by? 101 00:04:28,169 --> 00:04:29,235 Eva's back? 102 00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:33,239 Sweet diggity! That's good news! 103 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,144 I can't believe this. 104 00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:40,180 Your business is gone, your wife left you. 105 00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:41,847 Why didn't you tell me all this? 106 00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,950 I don't know. I was afraid to. I... 107 00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,952 I'm your father. I love you. 108 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:49,021 So, have you got another job? 109 00:04:49,090 --> 00:04:52,092 Mmm, I've been lookin', but there's nobody really hirin' right now. 110 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,827 Nobody's hiring, or you're not really looking? 111 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,829 Nobody's hiring. 112 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,998 People have jobs! 113 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:01,867 Your brother's got a beautiful job as a C.P.A. 114 00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:04,537 Dad, if you know someone that's hiring, why don't you tell me? 115 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:05,805 'Cause I'd love to know. 116 00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:07,574 Doug's place is hiring. 117 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,880 No, no, no. No, no, no. 118 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,816 That was someone else's place. 119 00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:20,420 Um, yeah, it must've been Hooters, so that wouldn't work. 120 00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:21,754 Just a sec. Doug. 121 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,490 Doug, you think there's a chance 122 00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:26,192 you could get an interview for Danny down at I.P.S.? 123 00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:28,828 Uh, I... I guess so. 124 00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:29,929 There you go! 125 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,432 Doug's gonna get you an interview! 126 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,869 Thank your cousin there. 127 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,304 Thanks, Doug. 128 00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,044 Thank you, Carrie. Nice job. 129 00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,412 It just slipped out. 130 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,725 No, no, no. It didn't just slip out. You did it on purpose! 131 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:49,949 I did not! 132 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,417 You did so! You're always trying 133 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,430 to get me and Danny together, get me closer with my family, 134 00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:54,954 spend more time, love them more. 135 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,689 It's a sickness with you! 136 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,824 I just feel bad for him, that's all. 137 00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:00,893 He's like a... Like a full-grown dog 138 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,828 that's still at the pet shop. 139 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,930 You know, they slashed the price 5 times, 140 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:08,100 but you know he ain't goin' anywhere. 141 00:06:08,169 --> 00:06:11,204 And you know why? 'Cause he's annoying! 142 00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:12,872 Oh, all right. You know what? 143 00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:15,341 It's your work. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have interfered. 144 00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:18,978 That's right. It's my work, ok? And I don't want him there. 145 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,713 I don't know what the big deal is. 146 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:23,583 The big deal is what I just said over there, ok? 147 00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,652 Don't want him working where I work. 148 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,920 I'm at the closet now, but nothing's changed. 149 00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:30,723 The feeling moves with me! 150 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,959 If you're so against it, just call him and say I was wrong 151 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:35,728 and that they're not hiring. 152 00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:37,997 I can't now. Uncle stu's all over this. 153 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,744 Don't get it, please. I don't wanna talk to anybody. 154 00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:44,070 You've reached the Heffernans. Leave a message. 155 00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,939 Hi, Doug, honey. It's mom. 156 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,841 Your father's downstairs with his trains, 157 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,776 so I thought I'd give you a quick jingle. 158 00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,978 Listen, I just hung up with your Uncle stu, 159 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,847 and he told me what a wonderful thing 160 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,616 you're doin' for Danny. 161 00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:58,951 I am so proud of you, 162 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,320 and so is God. 163 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,356 Thank you, baby. Love ya. 164 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,568 What you got goin' on there, dad? 165 00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,937 It's the questionnaire for she's got the stuff. 166 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,273 It's such a deep and marvelously layered thing 167 00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,910 these young filmmakers, the bickel brothers, have put together. 168 00:07:23,978 --> 00:07:27,513 Aren't you supposed to fill those things out right after you see the movie? 169 00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:30,049 Well, all the others did, but I requested more time 170 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:33,286 so I could give them a more in-depth analysis in essay form. 171 00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:36,022 They told me to take all the time I needed. 172 00:07:36,090 --> 00:07:39,225 Well, they must really value your opinion, dad. 173 00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:41,027 Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, 174 00:07:41,095 --> 00:07:42,428 I have to get back to this. 175 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:44,998 "Who was your favorite character?" 176 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:48,734 Skeeter stole a piece of my heart, 177 00:07:49,804 --> 00:07:53,472 and g-money took what was left. 178 00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,260 Hey, guy, what are you doin'? 179 00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:15,494 What do you mean? 180 00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:18,865 Why are you using the little handles on your cup? 181 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:21,000 I don't know. You know, they put 'em on this, 182 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,203 so I figured I'd give them a try. 183 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:28,174 I gotta tell you, you... You look ridiculous. 184 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,143 Really? 185 00:08:30,211 --> 00:08:32,946 Well, if this bothers you, you're really gonna hate this. 186 00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:38,684 That's it. Gimme the coffee. 187 00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:39,685 Get off. 188 00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:40,833 Then stop using the handle. 189 00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,188 Listen to yourself! 190 00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:44,167 Will you look at yourself? You're outta control today. 191 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,791 I'm drinking coffee! 192 00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:47,460 What's with you, man? 193 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,129 Oh, gosh! 194 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,966 It's just last night Carrie opened her stupid mouth 195 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,235 and told my cousin Danny we were hiring. 196 00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:57,036 Now I've gotta get him an interview here. 197 00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,204 Really? 198 00:08:58,272 --> 00:09:00,039 Man, that guy is annoying as hell. 199 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:01,107 Isn't he? 200 00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,444 There's O'Boyle. 201 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:06,645 Better go do this now. 202 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,147 All right. Hey. 203 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,249 Good luck. 204 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,254 Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, ma'am, 205 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,289 but sometimes packages get lost. 206 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,025 Yeah, come in! 207 00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,560 Yeah, I understand. 208 00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:24,030 The crackers came. The cheese didn't. 209 00:09:24,098 --> 00:09:26,199 Very frustrating. 210 00:09:26,267 --> 00:09:29,936 Look, as soon as I know somethin', I'll call you back. 211 00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:31,971 What is it, Doug? I got, like, 2 seconds here. 212 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:35,208 All right. Uh, the... the thing is, I just... I heard we were hiring, 213 00:09:35,276 --> 00:09:38,111 and I was wondering if you could interview my cousin Danny? 214 00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,113 You know, I'm swamped with applications. 215 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,681 Is this guy experienced? 'Cause I don't want to waste my time. 216 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:43,917 Very experienced, yes. 217 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:44,984 Good worker? 218 00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:46,552 Excellent. The best. 219 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,698 All right. Fine. Have him come in tomorrow morning at 8:00. 220 00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:50,290 Thanks. Thanks very much. 221 00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:51,391 Yeah. 222 00:09:56,297 --> 00:09:58,298 No, I talked to the... You know... what? 223 00:09:58,365 --> 00:09:59,465 Just one more thing. 224 00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:01,867 Could you do me a favor and not hire him? 225 00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,838 Wait. You don't want me to hire him? 226 00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:06,906 No. 227 00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:08,607 Duke, can you hang on a second? 228 00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:11,477 Yeah, there's a moron in my office. 229 00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:14,147 What do you mean, don't hire him? You just said how good he was. 230 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,149 Well, he's... he's not that good, really. 231 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,651 Um, he's got a bad knee, and he's not the brightest. 232 00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,219 He fell in a pool when he was little, 233 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,655 and he was in there for a while. 234 00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:24,890 Then why the hell do you want me to interview him? 235 00:10:24,959 --> 00:10:26,292 Well, you know, the thing is... 236 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,394 He's definitely good enough to be interviewed, 237 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,529 but not quite good enough to be hired. 238 00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:31,897 He's like a tweener. 239 00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:33,967 What in the hell are you talkin' about? 240 00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:36,970 All right, it's a family thing. I... I promised I'd get him an interview, 241 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:40,239 but I... I really don't want him workin' here. Can you help me out? 242 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,774 Yeah. All right. Fine. 243 00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,209 Oh, thanks. 244 00:10:43,277 --> 00:10:46,012 By the way, I drink Johnnie Walker. Black. 245 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,814 Ok. Thanks. 246 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:52,251 Oh, and if you can make it seem like I really pushed for him, 247 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,886 that'd be great. Thank you. 248 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,221 I'm gonna go now. 249 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,530 Hey, poppin' fresh! 250 00:11:04,598 --> 00:11:06,332 Ok! You gotta stop doin' that. 251 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,567 Hey, Doug, thanks so much for the interview, man. 252 00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:09,668 I'm pumped! 253 00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:10,870 Oh, great. 254 00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:12,305 You know, I had my brown jacket on. 255 00:11:12,373 --> 00:11:14,740 Then I... then I said to myself, "pff! Idiot!" 256 00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:16,476 Wear green, I.P.S. Color!" 257 00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:18,844 You know, be like a subliminal thing, you know? 258 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,614 "Hey, I don't know why, but I gotta hire this guy." 259 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,049 Right? 260 00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:25,251 So you busted out the green jacket, huh? 261 00:11:25,319 --> 00:11:28,554 Oh, no, no, no, no. I... I bought it. Yeah, yeah. It's $150. 262 00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:30,890 But, uh, gotta spend money to make money. 263 00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:34,227 Oh, uh, Doug, this your cousin? 264 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,195 Uh, yeah, this is him. Great guy. 265 00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:37,530 Come on in. 266 00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:39,899 Oh, hey, any last-minute advice? 267 00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,534 No. Just be yourself. 268 00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:58,117 Dad, come on. We have to meet Dan and stu at the restaurant in 20 minutes. 269 00:11:58,185 --> 00:11:59,919 Oh, sweetheart, I'm afraid I can't go. 270 00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:01,587 What? Why not? 271 00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:03,456 Oh, filling in this movie survey 272 00:12:03,524 --> 00:12:06,059 has become a real ding-darling of a task. 273 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,894 You're still workin' on this thing? What's the problem? 274 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:11,364 Well, as I replay the movie in my head, 275 00:12:11,432 --> 00:12:14,100 there are so many nagging questions. 276 00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:16,035 Why do Jeff and Skeeter 277 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,371 have to drive all the way to ft. Lauderdale 278 00:12:18,439 --> 00:12:21,006 just to register for the skateboard competition? 279 00:12:21,075 --> 00:12:23,209 Why can't they call ahead? Why? 280 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,946 Maybe there are just some things 281 00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:29,148 we're not meant to know. 282 00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:32,985 And the whole wet t-shirt sequence at the girls' hotel. 283 00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:36,355 It doesn't advance the story one iota. 284 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:40,359 Yet, I'm loathe to suggest cutting it. 285 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:43,529 All right, dad, I hate to see you go through all this aggravation, 286 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:46,299 so I'm just gonna tell you the truth. 287 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:49,668 You're 60 years older than their target audience. 288 00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:52,004 They don't really care what you think. 289 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,008 Sounds like someone's upset her opinion wasn't asked. 290 00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:01,013 Oh, man, Danny, I can't believe you didn't get the job. 291 00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:03,349 That... that is total b.S., is what that is. 292 00:13:03,417 --> 00:13:05,050 He didn't get it? 293 00:13:05,119 --> 00:13:06,752 Yeah. All right, man. Well... 294 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,754 I'll see you at the restaurant, buddy. 295 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:11,023 And hey, keep your chin up. 296 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,558 Ok. Bye. 297 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,827 Oh, well, that's too bad. But you know what? 298 00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:17,363 You got him in there, and that was very sweet of you. 299 00:13:17,431 --> 00:13:20,600 I know. I just feel bad. 300 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:23,302 You know, like, maybe I could've done more. 301 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:24,570 Damn it! 302 00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,071 Wait a minute. 303 00:13:26,140 --> 00:13:27,883 I thought you'd be happy he didn't get the job. 304 00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:29,975 Oh, yeah. No, no. I just... I mean, I said that 305 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,577 to make Danny feel better. 306 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:34,313 No. The phone call was over. You just said it to me. 307 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,948 Well, it just s-spilled over. 308 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,551 Look, I got him the interview. He didn't get the job. 309 00:13:38,619 --> 00:13:40,386 It happens every day. Back off! 310 00:13:40,454 --> 00:13:42,588 Wait a second. Did you have anything to do 311 00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,290 with him not getting that job? 312 00:13:44,358 --> 00:13:46,725 What? What, you think I went in to O'Boyle and said, 313 00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:49,995 "could you take time out of your busy schedule to interview my cousin, 314 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,497 but don't hire him?" 315 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:56,235 I don't want him workin' there! 316 00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:58,137 I can't believe you did that! 317 00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:01,574 You made him go through a big, stressful job interview for nothing? 318 00:14:01,642 --> 00:14:03,108 Not for nothin'. 319 00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:05,211 He got some very valuable interview experience. 320 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:07,846 And bonus, he now has a snappy green blazer. Huh? 321 00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:11,317 Oh, that... yeah, perfect. That'll keep him warm at the homeless shelter. 322 00:14:11,385 --> 00:14:13,553 Oh, come on, Carrie, nobody got hurt. 323 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,788 I mean, Danny's fine. Uncle stu's happy. 324 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,323 Mom's happy. God's happy. 325 00:14:17,391 --> 00:14:19,992 God is so not happy. 326 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,860 Oh, you know him so well. 327 00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:24,463 God, if you're not happy with me, 328 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,465 hit me with lightning right now. 329 00:14:28,802 --> 00:14:30,636 What's up? What's up? 330 00:14:35,509 --> 00:14:37,310 I wanna thank Doug and Carrie 331 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,079 for showing me such a beautiful time when I was here. 332 00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:44,717 And also, Doug, thanks for goin' the extra mile to help Danny out. 333 00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:46,219 You're good people. 334 00:14:53,594 --> 00:14:55,528 So, what is everyone getting? 335 00:14:55,596 --> 00:14:58,731 I think I'm gonna go with the shrimp and crab bonanza. 336 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,668 Well, I guess someone worked up quite an appetite 337 00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,803 not getting a job. 338 00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,171 Yeah. Right. Good one. 339 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,274 You know, actually, it was probably my fault. 340 00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:10,209 I don't have that much clout at I.P.S. 341 00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,545 I'm liked, but not well-liked. 342 00:15:12,613 --> 00:15:15,214 Doug, you don't have to make excuses for him. 343 00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:17,049 Oh, so it's just me, huh, dad? 344 00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,218 I'm a screw-up? Is that what you're getting at? 345 00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:22,688 You know, they have a dessert on the menu called the fudge slide. 346 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,990 Anyone else think that's gross? 347 00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:28,294 Look, all's I can say is, they were looking for drivers, 348 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:31,264 and you had a personal recommendation from Doug here. 349 00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:33,232 All you had to do was go in there, 350 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,668 not wet yourself, and you had that job. 351 00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:41,874 Turn your head back to the group. 352 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,009 Yeah, yeah. I-I'm a real loser, dad. 353 00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:46,145 Right, sure, yeah. And you're a big success? 354 00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:47,846 Selling used mattresses? 355 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:52,050 They're reconditioned! 356 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:55,053 You know what? Let's not fight. It's stu's last night. Let's... 357 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:58,758 The one thing I know. Your brother would've taken an opportunity like this 358 00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:00,092 and run with it. 359 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,662 Oh, yeah, sure! Mitchell's so wonderful! 360 00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:05,063 Mitchell's a go-getter! You love him so much! 361 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:08,367 Well, you know what else Mitchell is? He's gay! 362 00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:10,035 That's not true! 363 00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:17,109 Yeah, come in. 364 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,813 Hey, what do you got there, Doug? 365 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,148 Yeah, well, uh, as you requested, 366 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:26,319 a one-liter bottle containing my end of the deal... 367 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:27,953 Johnnie Walker black. 368 00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:30,255 What? 369 00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:31,691 I'm sorry. Was it red? 370 00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,158 No. I... 371 00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:35,394 I was just jokin' about you gettin' me that. 372 00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:37,229 Really? 373 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,297 Doug, I've been a recovering alcoholic for 7 years. 374 00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:42,034 My God. I didn't know. I'll just, um... 375 00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:44,136 That's all right. No, leave it! 376 00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,279 Somethin' else? 377 00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:56,849 Actually, it's... it's about my cousin Danny. 378 00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,884 Yeah? What about him? 379 00:16:58,952 --> 00:17:01,620 Well, I was wondering if you could reconsider his application, 380 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,623 this time with an eye toward hiring him? 381 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,560 What? You told me you didn't want me to hire him. 382 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:10,329 Yeah, you know, you're right, and it was because I was... 383 00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:13,065 I was threatened by his skill and his excellence. 384 00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:14,734 I... I let my personal feelings 385 00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,869 get in the way of what's best for the company, 386 00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:19,104 something I swore I would never do, you know. 387 00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:20,740 Doug, 388 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:24,109 we have a very good stress management counselor here. 389 00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:28,247 Her name is Helen canter. And, uh... 390 00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:31,484 Thanks to her, I'm not hitting you, right now. 391 00:17:34,388 --> 00:17:36,922 I'm, uh, the... the truth is, I... I screwed up, 392 00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:38,824 and... and I gotta make things right. 393 00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,559 Can you please help me out here? 394 00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:42,961 Fine. Have him come in tomorrow morning. 395 00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:44,029 Thank you. 396 00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:45,564 And, Doug. Yeah. 397 00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:48,200 I wouldn't complain if a fistful of Mexican quaaludes 398 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,835 found its way into my drawer. 399 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,505 That's very funny, sir. 400 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,248 Hey, babe. What's goin' on? 401 00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:06,419 Uh, just using 2 packets of icing on one toaster strudel. 402 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:07,720 Happy now, 403 00:18:07,788 --> 00:18:09,221 sad later. 404 00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,391 So, how's it going with Danny at I.P.S.? 405 00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,192 Are you ok with him workin' there? 406 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,429 Yeah. Actually, O'Boyle put him on the night shift. 407 00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:20,299 He's a pretty fun guy when you never, ever see him. 408 00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:22,267 Well, I finally finished the survey. 409 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,503 I must say, it's been quite an honor 410 00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:28,340 helping to shape she's got the stuff. 411 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:31,310 You mean the "a" movie that opens today at a theater near you? 412 00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:32,377 What? 413 00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:36,048 They promised they'd wait! 414 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,516 That's Hollywood for you. 415 00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,718 They chew you up, and they spit you out. 416 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,120 First it was fatty arbuckle, now it's me. 417 00:18:49,763 --> 00:18:52,397 Hey, there he is. Mr. Night shift. 418 00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:53,799 He owns the night. 419 00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:55,734 He is the night. 420 00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:01,306 You're still on the night shift, right? 421 00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:02,608 Yeah. 422 00:19:02,676 --> 00:19:05,377 I just, uh, actually, made sort of a decision. 423 00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:06,879 Yeah? What about? 424 00:19:06,947 --> 00:19:08,080 This job. 425 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,214 Not for me. 426 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:11,283 What? 427 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:12,718 Yeah, well, first of all, 428 00:19:12,786 --> 00:19:15,721 workin' nights totally screws up my inner clock. 429 00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:19,324 And you know that I'm used to being my own boss. 430 00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,760 This is a lot of being told what to do. 431 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:25,498 So, hey, would you do me a favor? 432 00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,299 Return my uniform back to O'Boyle, 433 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,334 and, uh, also, while you're in there, 434 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,370 could you grab my check? Thanks. 435 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,808 You're... you're not quitting. 436 00:19:35,876 --> 00:19:37,242 Yes, I am. No, you're not. 437 00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:38,310 I am. No! 438 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,112 I've already been in there twice for you, 439 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,314 first to tell him to not hire you, then to hire you. 440 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:43,883 I'm not goin' in the 3rd time. 441 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,485 Wait, wait. You told him not to hire me? 442 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,086 The first time, yeah. 443 00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:50,656 Why would you do that? 444 00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:52,825 Because I didn't want you working here. 445 00:19:52,893 --> 00:19:54,627 Well, you got your wish, pal. 446 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,762 I'm not workin' here. See ya! 447 00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,933 Oh, you're workin' here. 448 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:12,645 Get back here! 449 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,582 Try to drive now! 450 00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:18,250 Fine! I'll walk home! 451 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,191 Ow, you flipped me on cement! 452 00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:27,860 Ow! There's gravel in my knee! 453 00:20:27,928 --> 00:20:29,127 Say it! Say it! 454 00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:30,596 Say you're not quitting! Say it! 455 00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:32,174 No! And if you're worried about O'Boyle, 456 00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:34,132 I'll tell him it was all my fault. 457 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,145 That way, you won't be in trouble, and you won't have to work 458 00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:37,302 with someone you hate! 459 00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:38,370 I don't... 460 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:40,806 I don't hate you. 461 00:20:40,874 --> 00:20:42,975 Come on. Yes, you do. 462 00:20:43,043 --> 00:20:44,843 It's just... 463 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:47,512 Some things about your personality. 464 00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:48,881 What do you mean? 465 00:20:48,949 --> 00:20:50,649 I don't know. You just... 466 00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:53,351 Sometimes you push too hard. 467 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,020 I know. I know. 468 00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:57,122 I do that. 469 00:20:57,190 --> 00:20:58,190 Damn me! 470 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,994 I... I just want to be closer to you. 471 00:21:02,062 --> 00:21:04,396 And I would definitely like to see you... 472 00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:05,898 Once in a while. 473 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,070 That's nice to hear, man. 474 00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:13,572 I'm glad we're really talkin'. 475 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,874 It's good. 476 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,510 Doug, I... I feel like givin' you a hug. 477 00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:20,278 Why don't we stand up first? 478 00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:33,258 So we can enter the contest, we're toast. 479 00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:36,428 So why don't you call ahead? I'm outta here. 480 00:21:36,496 --> 00:21:38,130 Who's with me? Come on!