1 00:00:32,519 --> 00:00:34,856 Hon, there's a charge on our credit card bill 2 00:00:34,923 --> 00:00:39,360 for $88.50 for n.M.G. What is that? "N.M.G."? 3 00:00:40,394 --> 00:00:43,964 Maybe, uh, "nut Meg groceries"? 4 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,370 Ok, first of all, nutmeg is one word, 5 00:00:49,405 --> 00:00:51,239 and, even more importantly, 6 00:00:51,307 --> 00:00:54,676 what the hell is "nut Meg groceries"? 7 00:00:54,744 --> 00:00:58,480 Ok. Y-y-you know, y-you don't promote teamwork when you trash my input. 8 00:00:58,548 --> 00:01:00,481 I'm calling the credit card company. 9 00:01:00,549 --> 00:01:02,483 What is taking so long with those sandwiches? 10 00:01:02,551 --> 00:01:03,986 Excuse me. I'm an artist. 11 00:01:04,054 --> 00:01:06,139 Let me paint my picture, 12 00:01:06,206 --> 00:01:07,323 with bacon. 13 00:01:08,875 --> 00:01:10,743 For a question about your bill, press one. 14 00:01:10,811 --> 00:01:12,612 No, no, no, no. Don't press any buttons. 15 00:01:12,679 --> 00:01:13,674 What? 16 00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:15,414 You make believe you have a dial phone. 17 00:01:15,483 --> 00:01:17,767 It gets you right through to the operator. 18 00:01:17,835 --> 00:01:19,503 Really? Yeah. 19 00:01:19,571 --> 00:01:22,356 It's the telephone equivalent of the handicapped parking sticker. 20 00:01:23,941 --> 00:01:25,809 God love you, you got savvy. 21 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,678 Yeah. You know what else I got? 22 00:01:27,745 --> 00:01:28,745 Lunchy. 23 00:01:28,813 --> 00:01:30,347 Hallelujah. 24 00:01:32,517 --> 00:01:33,667 Lunch! 25 00:01:34,937 --> 00:01:36,204 Ohh, great. 26 00:01:36,271 --> 00:01:37,839 Your little plan backfired. 27 00:01:37,906 --> 00:01:40,490 Now I'm in voice-prompt hell. 28 00:01:43,128 --> 00:01:45,162 2. 29 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,148 Come on out! Lunch! 30 00:01:48,534 --> 00:01:50,168 Hiya, kids! Hey. 31 00:01:53,305 --> 00:01:54,539 Uncle stu, how you doin'? 32 00:01:54,607 --> 00:01:56,875 In honor of your visit, I made one of my specialties. 33 00:01:56,943 --> 00:01:58,244 I hope you like b.L.T.'S. 34 00:01:58,311 --> 00:02:00,446 Ooh, I couldn't love 'em more. 35 00:02:02,215 --> 00:02:03,282 One. 36 00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:06,852 English. 37 00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,123 What's that all about? 38 00:02:10,191 --> 00:02:12,959 I don't know. That's how she talks on the phone. 39 00:02:13,027 --> 00:02:15,728 You know, it was really nice for Arthur to let me stay 40 00:02:15,796 --> 00:02:17,297 in his room while he was away. 41 00:02:17,365 --> 00:02:18,843 You all right down there? 42 00:02:18,867 --> 00:02:21,167 Are you kiddin' me? It's like stayin' in a hotel. 43 00:02:22,286 --> 00:02:24,087 You know what that man did? 44 00:02:24,155 --> 00:02:26,624 He left me a mint on my pillow. 45 00:02:26,691 --> 00:02:29,911 Actually, that might've fallen out of his mouth while he was napping. 46 00:02:29,978 --> 00:02:32,280 You're a rascal, you know that? 47 00:02:38,321 --> 00:02:39,321 Wow. 48 00:02:40,505 --> 00:02:41,839 You know, 49 00:02:41,907 --> 00:02:45,260 this might be the best thing I've ever eaten. 50 00:02:45,328 --> 00:02:46,660 Hey, dad. What's up, Doug? 51 00:02:46,728 --> 00:02:48,563 Hey, Danny. Taste this sandwich. 52 00:02:48,631 --> 00:02:49,699 Uh, I... I just ate. 53 00:02:49,765 --> 00:02:50,833 Taste it! 54 00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:52,768 Dad, do you want to sell your condo, or not? 55 00:02:52,835 --> 00:02:54,704 We got the realtor meetin' us at 1:30. 56 00:02:54,771 --> 00:02:57,940 Look, your cousin made this sandwich. Take a bite. 57 00:03:00,511 --> 00:03:01,844 So? 58 00:03:01,912 --> 00:03:03,313 It's good. 59 00:03:03,380 --> 00:03:06,115 It's good? It's just good? 60 00:03:06,184 --> 00:03:08,784 It's great, ok, dad? What do you want from me? 61 00:03:08,852 --> 00:03:10,170 Well, let me tell you somethin'. 62 00:03:10,238 --> 00:03:12,605 If your pizzas were half as good as this sandwich, 63 00:03:12,673 --> 00:03:15,409 maybe your shop wouldn't have gone under. 64 00:03:16,445 --> 00:03:18,028 My biggest fan here. 65 00:03:18,630 --> 00:03:19,797 Can we just go? 66 00:03:19,865 --> 00:03:21,064 Ok, ok. 67 00:03:21,132 --> 00:03:24,001 Dougie, have you got a baggie for this ambrosia? 68 00:03:24,068 --> 00:03:25,720 Yeah, sure. 69 00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:26,888 Thanks. 70 00:03:28,256 --> 00:03:30,257 Ah, zip-loc. The best. 71 00:03:30,325 --> 00:03:31,960 Yeah. 72 00:03:32,028 --> 00:03:34,395 Dougie, I'm gonna see you at work tomorrow, right? 73 00:03:34,463 --> 00:03:35,530 Ride in your truck? 74 00:03:35,597 --> 00:03:36,597 Sure. 75 00:03:36,665 --> 00:03:37,866 Hey, thanks. Here you go. 76 00:03:37,934 --> 00:03:39,567 I'll see ya. Ok. 77 00:03:39,635 --> 00:03:41,237 Take care now. Yeah. 78 00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:43,405 I work at I.P.S. Too, dad. 79 00:03:46,343 --> 00:03:47,642 Hey, look at this. 80 00:03:47,710 --> 00:03:49,645 We're higher than the s.U.V.'S, 81 00:03:49,762 --> 00:03:52,682 and that's really sayin' somethin'. 82 00:03:52,749 --> 00:03:57,019 Ah, Dougie, you're king of the road. 83 00:03:57,086 --> 00:03:58,739 I'm just so proud of you, Doug, 84 00:03:58,807 --> 00:04:00,440 what you've done for yourself. 85 00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:02,910 Well, thanks a lot, Uncle St... 86 00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:05,210 I know your father was always ridin' you 87 00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,514 to take over his hardware store. 88 00:04:07,582 --> 00:04:10,350 Yeah. It wasn't for me. 89 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:14,087 I always knew there was somethin' better out there. 90 00:04:14,156 --> 00:04:16,490 Well, you see, son, caulk and spackle 91 00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,808 are actually pretty different. 92 00:04:18,876 --> 00:04:20,727 Then, of course, there's putty 93 00:04:20,795 --> 00:04:22,697 which is a whole 'nother animal completely. 94 00:04:24,666 --> 00:04:26,934 I have a package for you. 95 00:04:30,472 --> 00:04:32,507 Come on, Dougie. Pay attention. 96 00:04:32,574 --> 00:04:35,510 For example, if you have a hole in your wall, 97 00:04:35,578 --> 00:04:37,245 that's a spackle job. 98 00:04:38,698 --> 00:04:40,533 Got your sandwiches. 99 00:04:46,290 --> 00:04:50,659 So what you're saying is what you really want to do is run a sandwich shop? 100 00:04:50,860 --> 00:04:53,329 Yeah, you know when you're a kid you have crazy dreams, 101 00:04:53,531 --> 00:04:56,599 but this... this... This here... this is fine. 102 00:04:56,667 --> 00:04:58,567 Heffernan? 103 00:04:58,635 --> 00:05:00,086 Uh, y-yes, Mr. O'Boyle? 104 00:05:00,153 --> 00:05:01,421 What's goin' on? 105 00:05:01,489 --> 00:05:03,322 That star wars pinball machine was supposed 106 00:05:03,391 --> 00:05:05,324 to be delivered before noon. 107 00:05:05,393 --> 00:05:07,862 Uh, y-yes, sir. I'm sorry. I'm just running a little late. 108 00:05:07,929 --> 00:05:10,731 Yeah? We'll I'm here fielding some very angry phone calls 109 00:05:10,799 --> 00:05:13,200 from some very geeky people. 110 00:05:13,268 --> 00:05:16,103 Put down the doughnuts and start driving, huh? 111 00:05:16,171 --> 00:05:17,272 Ok. 112 00:05:19,675 --> 00:05:20,741 Doughnuts. 113 00:05:21,977 --> 00:05:23,679 He kids me about my weight. 114 00:05:23,745 --> 00:05:25,513 We laugh. We do. 115 00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:29,635 Damn it, I can't hold my tongue. 116 00:05:31,171 --> 00:05:34,540 You shouldn't let that man boss you around. 117 00:05:34,607 --> 00:05:38,044 It is my boss. It's, it's in the title. 118 00:05:38,111 --> 00:05:41,279 But is he smarter than you? Is he better than you? 119 00:05:45,252 --> 00:05:46,585 Testing. 120 00:05:46,653 --> 00:05:48,554 Mr. O'Boyle? 121 00:05:48,622 --> 00:05:50,335 No, he's not. No. 122 00:05:50,359 --> 00:05:52,442 You know what you should do? 123 00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:56,078 You should open that sandwich shop, and work for yourself. 124 00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,464 What? Yeah. 125 00:05:57,531 --> 00:06:00,584 You shouldn't have to take any orders from this idiot. 126 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:03,253 You should be taking sandwich orders from your customers. 127 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:05,824 That's your dream. That's your gift. 128 00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:09,593 I... I... I couldn't do that. 129 00:06:13,548 --> 00:06:15,149 Hey. 130 00:06:15,217 --> 00:06:17,118 Your clothes are everywhere. What happened? 131 00:06:17,186 --> 00:06:19,254 They explode off your body? 132 00:06:22,124 --> 00:06:23,758 What are you doin'? 133 00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:25,361 Thinking. 134 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,396 About sports or boobies? 135 00:06:28,498 --> 00:06:30,064 Neither. Sandwiches. 136 00:06:30,133 --> 00:06:32,067 How did I leave that out? 137 00:06:32,135 --> 00:06:33,502 Not sandwiches to eat. 138 00:06:33,570 --> 00:06:36,856 I'm thinkin' about sandwiches as a way of life. 139 00:06:37,975 --> 00:06:39,977 You know my thing, how I always wanted to open 140 00:06:40,044 --> 00:06:41,443 my own sandwich shop. 141 00:06:41,511 --> 00:06:44,013 Oh, yeah. Yeah, you haven't talked about that for a while. 142 00:06:44,081 --> 00:06:46,749 You think that's somethin' I can do, you know, someday? 143 00:06:46,817 --> 00:06:47,834 Sure. 144 00:06:47,901 --> 00:06:49,319 Really? 145 00:06:49,387 --> 00:06:53,206 Yeah, my man can do anything he puts his mind to. 146 00:06:53,273 --> 00:06:55,275 Hey, you thought about taping your remote controls 147 00:06:55,343 --> 00:06:59,029 to that ping-pong paddle so you wouldn't lose 'em, right? 148 00:06:59,097 --> 00:07:00,831 I did, didn't I? 149 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,551 How great would it be? We get... 150 00:07:03,618 --> 00:07:06,987 We get free sandwiches whenever we wanted, free soda. 151 00:07:07,055 --> 00:07:09,673 There'd be a TV there. You'd put the game on. 152 00:07:09,741 --> 00:07:12,144 Sounds a lot like downstairs. 153 00:07:12,211 --> 00:07:13,494 But I'm with you. I'm with you. 154 00:07:13,562 --> 00:07:15,064 You know what I think I should do? 155 00:07:15,131 --> 00:07:17,816 I... I should start putting a few dollars away each week. 156 00:07:17,867 --> 00:07:20,585 You know, maybe sell my bike. 157 00:07:20,687 --> 00:07:23,688 I don't think that triathlon thing's gonna shake out. 158 00:07:26,092 --> 00:07:27,660 And then a few years down the line, 159 00:07:27,726 --> 00:07:29,995 really try and get this thing off the ground, you know? 160 00:07:30,062 --> 00:07:32,799 "Doug's: A place for sandwiches." 161 00:07:34,235 --> 00:07:35,568 You know, you're kinda sexy 162 00:07:35,635 --> 00:07:38,271 when you talk all ambitious and stuff. 163 00:07:38,839 --> 00:07:40,339 Really? 164 00:07:40,407 --> 00:07:43,576 Did I happen to mention that I'm bottomless right now? 165 00:07:49,918 --> 00:07:52,635 Passes it to Anderson in the corner. They get to spread it out. 166 00:07:52,703 --> 00:07:55,389 Doug, would you mind cracking my back? 167 00:07:56,858 --> 00:07:58,036 Very much. 168 00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:00,093 Come on. Stand up. Stand up. 169 00:08:00,161 --> 00:08:04,866 We go back to back. We interlock arms, and you lift. 170 00:08:04,933 --> 00:08:07,302 All right, just so you know, this is the last time 171 00:08:07,370 --> 00:08:09,471 our asses will ever touch. 172 00:08:11,507 --> 00:08:12,974 Oh, yeah! 173 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,910 There it is. 174 00:08:15,979 --> 00:08:17,479 Crack! 175 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,050 Now, I'm gonna lie on my stomach and... 176 00:08:22,118 --> 00:08:23,486 We're done. 177 00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,723 Hey, kids, I got great news. 178 00:08:27,791 --> 00:08:29,659 That Korean couple bought my condo. 179 00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:32,094 Hey! Congratulations. 180 00:08:32,161 --> 00:08:34,180 I did great on the sale. 181 00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:37,183 They didn't want me to paint it or fix the plumbing or anything. 182 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,986 They missed all the problems. 183 00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:41,404 Nice work, dad. 184 00:08:41,472 --> 00:08:44,724 Yeah. But the bigger news is after I left my realtor, 185 00:08:44,793 --> 00:08:47,977 I went past the falafel joint. It was for lease. 186 00:08:48,713 --> 00:08:50,081 Ok. 187 00:08:50,148 --> 00:08:53,367 So, guess what I'm gonna do with my windfall? 188 00:08:53,435 --> 00:08:55,486 I'm gonna back you, Dougie. 189 00:08:56,922 --> 00:08:58,355 S-s-sorry. W-What? 190 00:08:58,557 --> 00:09:00,859 Yeah, so you can open your sandwich shop. 191 00:09:00,926 --> 00:09:03,629 You're the talent. I'm the money. 192 00:09:04,429 --> 00:09:05,664 Great. 193 00:09:05,732 --> 00:09:08,634 Really? I... I was... I was thinkin' 194 00:09:08,701 --> 00:09:10,820 I'd do that down the line somewhere. 195 00:09:10,887 --> 00:09:12,103 "Down the line"? 196 00:09:12,171 --> 00:09:14,740 Dougie, you're young. You're strong. 197 00:09:14,808 --> 00:09:18,627 You'll never be able to make better sandwiches than you can right now. 198 00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:22,914 Wow. Maybe you're right. 199 00:09:22,983 --> 00:09:25,452 This is... the whole thing we were talkin' about last night. 200 00:09:25,535 --> 00:09:26,601 It can actually happen. 201 00:09:26,669 --> 00:09:28,104 Yeah. 202 00:09:28,172 --> 00:09:29,671 Yay. 203 00:09:31,108 --> 00:09:33,609 But... but, honey, we can't take stu's money. 204 00:09:33,678 --> 00:09:34,961 That's his nest egg. 205 00:09:35,029 --> 00:09:37,163 What else am I gonna do with it? 206 00:09:37,231 --> 00:09:40,166 Come on, Doug. What do you say? 207 00:09:41,168 --> 00:09:43,303 I... I... I don't know what to say. 208 00:09:43,371 --> 00:09:45,622 Except white, wheat, or rye? 209 00:09:47,109 --> 00:09:49,211 That's my brother's boy. 210 00:09:56,652 --> 00:09:58,887 Possible name for Italian sub: 211 00:09:58,988 --> 00:10:00,588 The hammy aiello. 212 00:10:03,376 --> 00:10:06,739 Call Danny's people. Get that set up. 213 00:10:06,763 --> 00:10:08,463 Hey, honey, what are you doin' up? 214 00:10:08,531 --> 00:10:11,734 I... I couldn't sleep. I got all these ideas I had to get 'em down. 215 00:10:11,801 --> 00:10:14,136 Everybody loves egg nog. Serve it all year 'round. 216 00:10:14,203 --> 00:10:15,904 Huh? Great. 217 00:10:15,972 --> 00:10:16,972 Carrie, it's amazing. 218 00:10:17,024 --> 00:10:19,058 All these ideas are just channeling through me. 219 00:10:19,126 --> 00:10:21,060 I don't even know where they're comin' from. 220 00:10:21,128 --> 00:10:23,963 Oh! Halloween special, the Herman munster. 221 00:10:24,764 --> 00:10:26,250 See what just happened? 222 00:10:26,318 --> 00:10:29,053 Yeah, ok, well, you got all the funny sandwich names down 223 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:32,189 but how you doin' with, like, learning about bookkeeping, 224 00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:34,224 in-insurance, state licensing. 225 00:10:34,292 --> 00:10:35,809 Squagel. I'm sorry. What? 226 00:10:35,877 --> 00:10:38,195 A squagel, a square bagel. A squa... 227 00:10:39,965 --> 00:10:42,066 A squagel and a schmear. 228 00:10:44,837 --> 00:10:47,138 "Squagel." Ok, I like "squagel," 229 00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:50,575 but, um, can we talk for a minute about your squacheck? 230 00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:54,612 I mean, 231 00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:56,658 you... you gonna do this whole thing while still workin' at I.P.S. 232 00:10:56,682 --> 00:10:58,500 I mean, what's... I didn't tell you all this? 233 00:10:58,567 --> 00:10:59,667 No. 234 00:10:59,735 --> 00:11:01,503 I looked into it, and the union allows you 235 00:11:01,571 --> 00:11:03,622 to take 6 months off unpaid. 236 00:11:03,690 --> 00:11:06,175 No pay, huh? 237 00:11:06,243 --> 00:11:08,727 I... I know it's scary. I'm a little scared, too, 238 00:11:08,795 --> 00:11:10,930 but you know how I know it's gonna work out? 239 00:11:10,997 --> 00:11:13,048 Because of you. Me? 240 00:11:13,116 --> 00:11:14,768 Yeah. All these years you've been on me 241 00:11:14,836 --> 00:11:17,904 about takin' more initiative and everything. 242 00:11:17,972 --> 00:11:20,273 Have I? Yeah. 243 00:11:20,307 --> 00:11:23,743 You know, all that "get off your fat ass" stuff. 244 00:11:23,811 --> 00:11:26,163 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 245 00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:29,483 Well, if you'll notice, I am off said fat ass 246 00:11:29,550 --> 00:11:32,652 and she's a-stayin' airborne, 247 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:34,771 and it's all thanks to you. 248 00:11:36,741 --> 00:11:37,874 That's sweet, honey. 249 00:11:37,943 --> 00:11:41,145 So, in appreciation, I present to you, 250 00:11:41,980 --> 00:11:43,447 the Carrie. 251 00:11:45,067 --> 00:11:48,086 Wow. What's in it? 252 00:11:48,153 --> 00:11:49,888 Eye makeup and a pickle. 253 00:11:50,438 --> 00:11:51,973 I'm kidding. 254 00:11:55,345 --> 00:11:57,229 It's good. Try it, Carrie. 255 00:11:57,297 --> 00:11:59,465 Taste "the Carrie." 256 00:12:01,634 --> 00:12:03,001 Ok. 257 00:12:06,406 --> 00:12:08,207 Mmm-hmm. I'm yummy. 258 00:12:09,509 --> 00:12:12,028 Wait till you try yourself on a squagel. 259 00:12:20,805 --> 00:12:22,438 Hey, guys. Hey, Carrie 260 00:12:22,506 --> 00:12:24,575 find a good game. Ah, we got killed. 261 00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:27,711 I never seen a hasidic kid dunk before. 262 00:12:27,779 --> 00:12:30,781 Moisheh got game. 263 00:12:30,848 --> 00:12:33,385 So, uh, what you got going on tonight? You got a hot date? 264 00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:35,287 No, it's rough out there. I got nothin'. 265 00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:36,688 Well, your fortune's gonna change 266 00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:38,568 once I open my sandwich shop. 267 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:39,707 Oh, yeah? How's that? 268 00:12:39,775 --> 00:12:41,259 Because you'll be in with the owner, 269 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,593 meaning, you can just duck down 270 00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:44,129 and grab a soda whenever you want. 271 00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,965 Chicks dig that. 272 00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:48,083 Sounds like it's gonna be a swingin' joint, my man. 273 00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:49,384 Let's get this party started. 274 00:12:49,451 --> 00:12:51,236 All right, bro. I'm gonna take a shower. 275 00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:52,805 Is it ok if I use your loofah? 276 00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:56,042 I promise not to use it on the parts we discussed. 277 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,710 That's fine, hon. 278 00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:01,130 All right. See ya, nephew. 279 00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:03,933 Deacon, listen, we don't have a lot of time. 280 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,135 I just want to ask you a question off the record. 281 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:09,038 Do you really think that Doug can run his own sandwich shop? 282 00:13:09,106 --> 00:13:10,424 Sure. Really? 283 00:13:10,491 --> 00:13:11,658 And be successful? 284 00:13:11,726 --> 00:13:13,694 Oh, no. 285 00:13:13,761 --> 00:13:15,829 Then what are you encouraging him for? 286 00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:18,365 Because I'm his best friend. I tell him what he wants to hear 287 00:13:18,433 --> 00:13:20,701 like when he asked me if he looked good in those overalls 288 00:13:20,768 --> 00:13:23,470 you were the one who told him they look good. 289 00:13:23,538 --> 00:13:26,339 He wore those for an entire summer! 290 00:13:26,407 --> 00:13:27,876 I... I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. 291 00:13:27,943 --> 00:13:30,178 Maybe he can pull it off. He makes a good sandwich. 292 00:13:30,245 --> 00:13:33,081 Deacon, he has no business sense. 293 00:13:33,149 --> 00:13:36,217 I mean, he wants to stick ads on traffic signs. 294 00:13:36,285 --> 00:13:38,252 "Stop at Doug's." 295 00:13:40,590 --> 00:13:42,524 That could cause fatal accidents. 296 00:13:42,592 --> 00:13:45,177 Thank you. That's why you have to talk to him. 297 00:13:45,244 --> 00:13:46,912 Look, I'm not talkin' to him. 298 00:13:46,978 --> 00:13:48,980 Deacon, you have to. 299 00:13:49,048 --> 00:13:52,618 If... if you can see the future, it's your responsibility to change it. 300 00:13:52,686 --> 00:13:56,304 It's like shooting baby Hitler. 301 00:13:56,372 --> 00:13:59,743 Wait a minute. You're his wife. Why don't you tell him? 302 00:13:59,810 --> 00:14:02,779 Because I'm already on record saying I believe in him. 303 00:14:02,847 --> 00:14:03,796 Well, why'd you do that? 304 00:14:03,864 --> 00:14:05,398 Because it's like when your kid says, 305 00:14:05,465 --> 00:14:07,200 he wants to be president, you don't say, 306 00:14:07,268 --> 00:14:09,835 "no, Tommy. You're a moron." 307 00:14:09,903 --> 00:14:13,106 You encourage him because you don't think it's ever gonna happen. 308 00:14:13,174 --> 00:14:14,324 Well, I got news for you. 309 00:14:14,392 --> 00:14:16,594 Tommy's running for president. 310 00:14:16,661 --> 00:14:18,763 Not if you stop him. 311 00:14:18,830 --> 00:14:20,147 Look, why me? 312 00:14:20,215 --> 00:14:23,118 Please, I can't hurt his feelings like this. 313 00:14:23,185 --> 00:14:25,204 I mean, he's naming a sandwich after me. 314 00:14:25,270 --> 00:14:26,971 So? He already named one after me. 315 00:14:27,039 --> 00:14:30,309 The Deacon: Pastrami, corned beef, Swiss cheese, French dressing. 316 00:14:30,376 --> 00:14:33,712 I gotta level with you. Sounds a lot like the Spence without the onions. 317 00:14:33,780 --> 00:14:36,715 Deacon, come on. He's meeting with the man tomorrow. 318 00:14:36,783 --> 00:14:38,867 He's gonna sign a lease. I'm running out of time. 319 00:14:38,934 --> 00:14:41,069 I'll tell you what, if the overalls make a comeback, 320 00:14:41,137 --> 00:14:42,904 I'll be the bad guy, the best I can do. 321 00:14:42,972 --> 00:14:44,740 I already burned them! 322 00:14:51,164 --> 00:14:53,349 So, the soda machine works perfectly. 323 00:14:53,417 --> 00:14:57,004 And there's a brand-new co2 cartridge in there. 324 00:14:57,072 --> 00:14:59,572 Co2? Not bad. 325 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:03,243 Hey, honey, check it out. I'm wiping down the counter after a hard day's work, huh? 326 00:15:03,311 --> 00:15:05,711 That's great, honey. Hey, sorry, kids. We're closed, 327 00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,280 but, hey, stay off the drugs! 328 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,918 Just keep me laughing, Dougie, that's all I ask. 329 00:15:11,987 --> 00:15:15,905 All right. I guess I'm ready to put a little bet on a horse called me. 330 00:15:15,973 --> 00:15:18,108 Where do I sign? 331 00:15:18,176 --> 00:15:20,244 Don't you wanna ask a few more questions first? 332 00:15:20,313 --> 00:15:23,514 Like what? Like which soda distributor gives you the best deal. 333 00:15:23,549 --> 00:15:25,816 How do you calculate your payroll taxes? 334 00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:28,703 Do you offer your part-time employees health insurance? 335 00:15:28,770 --> 00:15:31,273 I happen to know a few things about the restaurant business. 336 00:15:31,341 --> 00:15:35,044 Yeah, ok. Well, I'll be sure to read the book you wrote, 337 00:15:35,095 --> 00:15:36,946 especially chapter 11. 338 00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:41,317 I kid, man. I kid out of love. 339 00:15:41,384 --> 00:15:42,819 Come with me to the back, guys. 340 00:15:42,886 --> 00:15:44,420 I'll show you the storage area. 341 00:15:44,487 --> 00:15:46,122 Then we can get the paperwork going. 342 00:15:46,190 --> 00:15:47,323 Ok. 343 00:16:02,274 --> 00:16:04,342 This must be tough for you. 344 00:16:06,311 --> 00:16:07,378 What do you mean? 345 00:16:07,445 --> 00:16:10,764 Well, I'm sure you have a million ideas 346 00:16:10,832 --> 00:16:12,132 for great businesses, 347 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:15,336 and here, your own father's giving Doug all his money. 348 00:16:15,404 --> 00:16:17,756 That... that can't feel good. 349 00:16:18,658 --> 00:16:21,226 Well, you know, his money. 350 00:16:21,293 --> 00:16:23,261 I'm happy for Doug. 351 00:16:23,328 --> 00:16:24,630 Oh, yeah, me, too. 352 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,018 But what about Danny in all this? 353 00:16:29,102 --> 00:16:31,003 When is it Danny's turn? 354 00:16:32,273 --> 00:16:34,756 What can I do, anyway? 355 00:16:34,824 --> 00:16:37,043 I don't know. I guess if it was me, 356 00:16:37,111 --> 00:16:40,146 I would talk to my father before that lease got signed. 357 00:16:40,214 --> 00:16:42,097 I'd say, 358 00:16:42,165 --> 00:16:44,884 "dad, I'm your son, damn it. 359 00:16:44,952 --> 00:16:47,486 Back me and not Doug." 360 00:16:47,555 --> 00:16:50,389 But, you know, whatever. It's none of my business. 361 00:16:52,376 --> 00:16:54,862 I can't, ok? 362 00:16:54,929 --> 00:16:57,915 I'm gonna go wait outside. 363 00:16:57,983 --> 00:17:00,283 Well, the back area seems to be in order, 364 00:17:00,351 --> 00:17:03,020 by the way, I just learned who we're sharing the dumpster with, 365 00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:04,822 the corrective shoe king. 366 00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:07,358 Yeah, I just saw his highness out in the alley taking a leak. 367 00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:11,379 He's marvelous. 368 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,830 All right, I got all the papers. 369 00:17:12,897 --> 00:17:16,067 Per your request, the meat spit will stay. 370 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:17,703 So if you're ready to sign. 371 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,071 All right, let's do it. Great. 372 00:17:22,893 --> 00:17:24,559 Wait, wait! Um, 373 00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:27,529 Doug, can I just talk to you in there for one sec? 374 00:17:27,597 --> 00:17:29,098 Ok. 375 00:17:33,003 --> 00:17:34,237 What's going on? 376 00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,105 I... I gotta be honest with you, ok. 377 00:17:36,173 --> 00:17:38,540 I really don't have a good feeling about this place. 378 00:17:38,608 --> 00:17:40,009 What? Why? 379 00:17:40,077 --> 00:17:43,712 Well, first of all, what is that smell? 380 00:17:44,415 --> 00:17:45,848 What smell? 381 00:17:45,916 --> 00:17:48,185 Whoo! You're not gettin' that? 382 00:17:48,253 --> 00:17:51,221 It smells like something just died in here. 383 00:17:51,289 --> 00:17:53,973 Carrie, what... what's really goin' on? 384 00:17:55,493 --> 00:17:57,144 Ok, well, first, let me say, 385 00:17:57,212 --> 00:17:59,046 I love you a whole lot. 386 00:18:00,815 --> 00:18:03,585 Dad, I'm your son, damn it. 387 00:18:03,652 --> 00:18:05,503 Back me and not Doug. 388 00:18:06,738 --> 00:18:08,623 Me? The prob... The problem is me? 389 00:18:08,691 --> 00:18:10,459 Look, it's not you in general. 390 00:18:10,526 --> 00:18:12,126 It's you in this situation. 391 00:18:12,195 --> 00:18:14,530 You said you believed in me. So I guess that stuff about, 392 00:18:14,598 --> 00:18:16,432 "you can do anything you set your mind to," 393 00:18:16,499 --> 00:18:17,932 that was a big bunch of crap? 394 00:18:17,999 --> 00:18:21,253 Crap is a strong word. It was more like hooey. 395 00:18:22,990 --> 00:18:25,458 Ok, well, you know what? This is a real eye-opener. 396 00:18:25,525 --> 00:18:28,427 My wife doesn't believe in me. 397 00:18:29,296 --> 00:18:31,098 Doug, it's not just you. 398 00:18:31,165 --> 00:18:33,265 Come on, I couldn't be everything I wanted to be. 399 00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:35,135 I could never be an astronaut. 400 00:18:35,203 --> 00:18:38,299 Uh-huh, ok, so me making a go of a sandwich shop 401 00:18:38,323 --> 00:18:41,541 is as likely as you walking on the surface of the moon. 402 00:18:42,877 --> 00:18:44,811 Ok. 403 00:18:44,879 --> 00:18:48,199 Listen to me, you have a million great qualities, 404 00:18:48,267 --> 00:18:51,419 just not the sharpest business sense. 405 00:18:51,486 --> 00:18:53,838 Really? Well, we'll just see about that. 406 00:18:54,673 --> 00:18:56,757 What's... what's going on? 407 00:18:58,126 --> 00:19:00,979 Dougie, I can't back your sandwich shop. 408 00:19:01,513 --> 00:19:02,647 What? 409 00:19:02,782 --> 00:19:05,433 I'm so sorry, but I'm gonna go with Danny 410 00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:07,835 because he's my son, 411 00:19:07,903 --> 00:19:09,271 and I love him. 412 00:19:09,972 --> 00:19:11,590 And I love you. 413 00:19:11,658 --> 00:19:12,874 I know. 414 00:19:13,909 --> 00:19:15,427 So come on, son. 415 00:19:15,495 --> 00:19:17,896 Let's go talk about your new ideas. 416 00:19:17,964 --> 00:19:19,998 I'd like that, dad. 417 00:19:20,066 --> 00:19:22,335 I'll see you tonight, kids. 418 00:19:22,402 --> 00:19:25,588 Oh, hey, Carrie, thanks for making this happen. 419 00:19:34,199 --> 00:19:37,701 Well, I think I finally figured out what the smell is. 420 00:19:39,771 --> 00:19:41,972 The stink of betrayal. 421 00:19:48,079 --> 00:19:50,130 I can't run a business. 422 00:19:50,198 --> 00:19:52,400 I was born to run a business. 423 00:19:53,736 --> 00:19:55,153 Dougie, watch the counter. 424 00:19:55,220 --> 00:19:57,805 I gotta finish unpackin' these faucet handles back here. 425 00:19:57,874 --> 00:19:59,741 Is this coupon still valid? 426 00:19:59,808 --> 00:20:01,843 I need to return this, but I don't have a receipt. 427 00:20:01,911 --> 00:20:03,345 Can you take it off my charge card, 428 00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:04,881 or do I have to get a store credit? 429 00:20:04,948 --> 00:20:06,581 This car key works fine. 430 00:20:06,648 --> 00:20:10,085 Now, let's see, that's 76 cents. Here's $1.01. 431 00:20:17,995 --> 00:20:20,062 Hold it, hold it, hold it! 432 00:20:20,130 --> 00:20:21,880 That's 2 dimes you just gave me. 433 00:20:21,948 --> 00:20:23,517 I gave you $1.01. 434 00:20:23,584 --> 00:20:25,902 You understand? $1.01. 435 00:21:51,294 --> 00:21:55,213 Face on a cap. 436 00:21:55,281 --> 00:21:57,048 Face on a cap!