1 00:00:18,048 --> 00:00:19,312 Annoying. 2 00:00:19,380 --> 00:00:20,479 Come on, I'm helping. 3 00:00:20,547 --> 00:00:21,945 I'm turning the pain of packing 4 00:00:22,013 --> 00:00:24,777 into the Carrie Heffernan travelin' blues. 5 00:00:24,845 --> 00:00:27,522 What do you do with these lawyers for a whole week, anyway? 6 00:00:27,546 --> 00:00:29,842 Oh, we have a bunch of meetings, depositions. 7 00:00:29,909 --> 00:00:31,540 And love affairs? 8 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,724 Hmm. Actually, now that you mention it, 9 00:00:34,791 --> 00:00:36,906 toss me back those black Lacy panties. 10 00:00:36,974 --> 00:00:39,006 I can't believe you're goin' away on the one week 11 00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:40,405 my parents are comin' to visit. 12 00:00:40,473 --> 00:00:41,937 They're gonna be so bummed. 13 00:00:42,005 --> 00:00:43,453 Honey, I'm sorry. It's not my fault. 14 00:00:43,521 --> 00:00:44,786 It's a last minute thing. 15 00:00:44,853 --> 00:00:47,168 Now I gotta take care of them all by myself. 16 00:00:47,236 --> 00:00:48,968 I mean, I... I can't do that. 17 00:00:49,035 --> 00:00:50,951 What do you feed parents? 18 00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:53,699 It's not that hard. You go to the grocery store, 19 00:00:53,766 --> 00:00:55,248 you get something like chicken, 20 00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:57,932 you expose it to heat, and then you serve it. 21 00:01:00,198 --> 00:01:01,613 You'll be fine. 22 00:01:01,681 --> 00:01:02,978 Whoa. What's this? 23 00:01:03,079 --> 00:01:04,943 That's a love note. Don't read that now. 24 00:01:05,012 --> 00:01:07,560 You'll embarrass me. 25 00:01:07,628 --> 00:01:10,659 "Try to bring me home a Chicago-style pizza." 26 00:01:13,242 --> 00:01:16,074 See, now I'm embarrassed. 27 00:01:48,294 --> 00:01:50,026 Hey, guy, how's my truck lookin'? 28 00:01:50,094 --> 00:01:51,125 Almost loaded. 29 00:01:51,193 --> 00:01:52,891 Hey! Hey! What do I do with this? 30 00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:56,057 It's coded for our depot, but the address is sector 7. 31 00:01:56,125 --> 00:01:58,555 J-Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. 32 00:01:58,623 --> 00:02:00,621 What's my job here? You're a driver. 33 00:02:00,689 --> 00:02:02,288 Yeah. And what does he do? 34 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,520 Well, he's wearin' the big black belt. 35 00:02:04,588 --> 00:02:07,386 So I guess that makes him a loader. 36 00:02:07,454 --> 00:02:10,250 Now Danny, if your job was to mow the white house lawn, 37 00:02:10,318 --> 00:02:12,833 would you ask the president what to do with the clippings? 38 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,632 No. 39 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:17,082 The unwritten rules, my friend, 40 00:02:17,149 --> 00:02:19,713 the unwritten rules. All right. 41 00:02:19,781 --> 00:02:20,846 What's up? 42 00:02:20,913 --> 00:02:22,846 What's up, bridesmaid? 43 00:02:22,913 --> 00:02:24,979 So your, uh, folks roll into town yet? 44 00:02:25,046 --> 00:02:27,244 Nah, they're comin' in today. Oh, but it turns out. 45 00:02:27,312 --> 00:02:28,961 Carrie's gotta go on this business trip, 46 00:02:29,029 --> 00:02:31,425 so I gotta be their Mr. Belvedere all week. 47 00:02:31,492 --> 00:02:33,208 You can't just suck it up for a week? 48 00:02:33,276 --> 00:02:35,441 I mean, they took care of you for 18 years, right? 49 00:02:35,508 --> 00:02:36,840 Actually, 27. 50 00:02:38,924 --> 00:02:41,888 Ok, don't all jump up at once. I'm only the boss. 51 00:02:41,955 --> 00:02:43,455 What do you got there, Mr. O'Boyle? 52 00:02:43,521 --> 00:02:44,920 Safety manuals for the test. 53 00:02:44,987 --> 00:02:46,320 W-What test? 54 00:02:46,388 --> 00:02:47,819 All right, guys. As all of you, 55 00:02:47,887 --> 00:02:49,619 except for Heffernan, probably knows, 56 00:02:49,686 --> 00:02:51,850 the company's goin' with another insurance carrier. 57 00:02:51,917 --> 00:02:53,383 So you're gonna need these manuals 58 00:02:53,451 --> 00:02:56,250 for the test on basic safety practices on Wednesday. 59 00:02:57,516 --> 00:02:58,814 Well, grumble all you want, 60 00:02:58,882 --> 00:03:00,980 but you fail, you're off the road for 3 months. 61 00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:03,346 Speakin' of which, why aren't you on the road right now? 62 00:03:03,413 --> 00:03:05,011 Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! 63 00:03:05,079 --> 00:03:06,678 I can't believe this crap. 64 00:03:06,746 --> 00:03:08,676 I've been drivin' my truck for 8 years. 65 00:03:08,744 --> 00:03:10,676 Now they wanna see if I know how to use it? 66 00:03:10,744 --> 00:03:14,024 I specifically took this job so I wouldn't have to read. 67 00:03:16,725 --> 00:03:19,057 Does anybody wanna form a study group? 68 00:03:25,804 --> 00:03:27,769 Anybody wanna wear a dress? 69 00:03:35,101 --> 00:03:37,099 Wow, these legs are really scuffed. 70 00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:39,598 Do you happen to know where my son keeps his varnish? 71 00:03:39,665 --> 00:03:41,930 That would be in the unventilated basement 72 00:03:41,998 --> 00:03:44,296 where they make me sleep. 73 00:03:44,363 --> 00:03:46,895 Ok, here's the problem. No support screws. 74 00:03:46,962 --> 00:03:49,094 No wonder the darn thing's wobbly. 75 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,826 Spooner, could you pass me a screwdriver? 76 00:03:51,894 --> 00:03:55,192 I wasn't aware I was your apprentice, but very well. 77 00:03:56,993 --> 00:03:58,990 Actually, I need a Phillips head. 78 00:03:59,924 --> 00:04:01,356 You know what's funny? 79 00:04:01,424 --> 00:04:03,904 For 25 years, I owned a hardware store. 80 00:04:03,972 --> 00:04:05,138 I could never figure out 81 00:04:05,205 --> 00:04:07,570 why the heck we needed 2 types of screwdrivers. 82 00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:10,185 You ran a successful business. I get it. 83 00:04:10,253 --> 00:04:12,135 I mean, everybody would get along just fine 84 00:04:12,202 --> 00:04:13,668 with one screwdriver, 85 00:04:13,736 --> 00:04:16,099 and then this guy, Phillips, comes along, 86 00:04:16,167 --> 00:04:18,899 convinces the world that we need a 2nd screwdriver. 87 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,731 Maybe I should go out there 88 00:04:20,798 --> 00:04:22,764 and invent a "Joe's" head screwdriver, 89 00:04:22,831 --> 00:04:24,563 make a million bucks for myself. 90 00:04:30,245 --> 00:04:33,608 Oh, is it 6:00 already? Forgive me. I have to run. 91 00:04:33,676 --> 00:04:34,976 Where you goin'? 92 00:04:35,043 --> 00:04:36,975 Uh, a meeting at the senior center. 93 00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:39,274 We're unhappy with the pudding vendor. 94 00:04:39,342 --> 00:04:42,439 We're thinkin' of makin' a change. 95 00:04:44,155 --> 00:04:45,521 Hey! Hey! I'm home! 96 00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:48,719 Oh, Dougie! Great to see you! 97 00:04:48,787 --> 00:04:51,586 Oh, sorry I'm late. I had to stop at a couple of stores. 98 00:04:51,654 --> 00:04:53,151 When is Carrie gettin' home? 99 00:04:53,217 --> 00:04:54,867 Oh, y-y-you're not gonna believe this. 100 00:04:54,934 --> 00:04:56,967 She's in Chicago for the week with her law firm. 101 00:04:57,033 --> 00:04:58,832 She's totally gonna miss your visit. 102 00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:00,515 Aw, fiddlesticks. 103 00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:02,615 It's ok. It's ok. I got some stuff. 104 00:05:02,682 --> 00:05:04,579 You're gonna be all taken care of here. 105 00:05:04,647 --> 00:05:06,679 I got some vegetables, uh, soap, 106 00:05:06,747 --> 00:05:08,612 a chicken, and some sheets. 107 00:05:10,045 --> 00:05:12,694 Carrie said we had, uh, extra sheets, but I couldn't find 'em. 108 00:05:12,762 --> 00:05:14,725 Honey, they're in the hall closet. 109 00:05:14,793 --> 00:05:16,358 I already made the bed. 110 00:05:16,426 --> 00:05:17,741 Oh. All right. 111 00:05:17,809 --> 00:05:21,173 Well, ok. But I am making dinner, ok? 112 00:05:21,241 --> 00:05:24,838 So let me just pop this thing in the microwave 113 00:05:26,171 --> 00:05:28,903 and we will be good to go. Ok. 114 00:05:29,904 --> 00:05:31,869 I don't see a chicken button. 115 00:05:31,936 --> 00:05:34,085 Dougie, come on. Let me make the dinner. 116 00:05:34,153 --> 00:05:36,616 No, ma, you're a guest in my house, ok? 117 00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:38,249 Let me host you. 118 00:05:38,317 --> 00:05:40,365 And you are very sweet, but I am the mother here, 119 00:05:40,432 --> 00:05:42,131 and I'm pullin' rank on you. 120 00:05:42,199 --> 00:05:45,247 Let me do what I do, and you do what you do, ok? 121 00:05:46,581 --> 00:05:49,279 Oh, yeah! Touchdown! 122 00:05:49,345 --> 00:05:51,311 Oh, I stopped your ass! 123 00:05:52,345 --> 00:05:54,343 Dougie. Sorry, ma. 124 00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:56,475 Is this all the laundry what was up in the hamper? 125 00:05:56,644 --> 00:05:57,840 Ma, dinner was great. 126 00:05:57,908 --> 00:05:59,840 You don't have to do my laundry. This is crazy. 127 00:05:59,908 --> 00:06:02,372 Come on! This is my joy. 128 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:03,489 Really? 129 00:06:03,557 --> 00:06:05,789 You think your joy would mind washing my uniform? 130 00:06:05,856 --> 00:06:07,921 It's on the floor in my bedroom. 131 00:06:07,988 --> 00:06:09,952 My son, the slob. 132 00:06:13,852 --> 00:06:16,750 Hello? Hey, Spence, what's up? 133 00:06:16,818 --> 00:06:19,417 You know what? No, I can't. My... my parents are here. 134 00:06:19,483 --> 00:06:20,948 Nah, it's goin' great. 135 00:06:21,016 --> 00:06:22,914 It's just like being back in high school again, 136 00:06:22,981 --> 00:06:24,313 except with less acne. 137 00:06:24,381 --> 00:06:27,295 And now I've actually seen a naked girl. 138 00:06:27,363 --> 00:06:28,946 You know what? I'll... I'll ask. 139 00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:31,110 Ma! 140 00:06:31,178 --> 00:06:33,543 Can Spence come over for dinner tomorrow? 141 00:06:33,611 --> 00:06:35,043 Sure. 142 00:06:35,110 --> 00:06:37,508 Hey, you should invite the whole gang like you used to. 143 00:06:37,577 --> 00:06:39,675 Oh, Joe, isn't this fun? 144 00:06:39,742 --> 00:06:42,023 Don't invite Spencer. He's weird. 145 00:06:44,256 --> 00:06:46,922 Let it go, Joe. He was in junior high. 146 00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:49,254 He was just curious about his body. 147 00:06:51,037 --> 00:06:53,819 Why did he have to be curious in my bathroom, 148 00:06:53,885 --> 00:06:55,517 with the door unlocked? 149 00:06:55,584 --> 00:06:57,716 Ma, as long as you're doin' dinner and laundry, 150 00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,850 what are the odds I could score some lemon squares? 151 00:06:59,917 --> 00:07:01,349 Already in the oven. 152 00:07:01,417 --> 00:07:03,481 I love you! 153 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:04,947 I love you, too, baby. 154 00:07:13,728 --> 00:07:14,760 Hello? 155 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:17,825 Anybody here? 156 00:07:23,124 --> 00:07:25,205 Young man, do you work here? 157 00:07:26,339 --> 00:07:28,438 Yeah. Yeah. I'm comin'. 158 00:07:33,270 --> 00:07:34,569 Hey, what's up? 159 00:07:36,302 --> 00:07:38,099 Catchin' a smoke back there, huh? 160 00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:40,582 Um, yeah. 161 00:07:40,650 --> 00:07:42,531 I notice you roll your own cigarettes. 162 00:07:42,599 --> 00:07:44,432 Must save you a bundle. 163 00:07:46,281 --> 00:07:47,479 Yeah. 164 00:07:47,547 --> 00:07:48,945 A. Spooner. 165 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:51,078 Owen. 166 00:07:51,146 --> 00:07:52,811 Let me ask you this, Owen. 167 00:07:52,879 --> 00:07:55,710 How many types of screwdrivers do you carry here? 168 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,308 Uh, 2. 169 00:07:59,326 --> 00:08:00,907 The regular kind, 170 00:08:00,975 --> 00:08:03,957 and, uh, the other kind. 171 00:08:04,024 --> 00:08:07,205 I see. Now what if I told you there was a new product 172 00:08:07,273 --> 00:08:09,671 poised to set the screwdriver world on its ears? 173 00:08:09,738 --> 00:08:11,570 It's called the "Arthur's" head. 174 00:08:11,638 --> 00:08:13,469 Would you have room on your shelves 175 00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:15,435 for something like that? 176 00:08:17,969 --> 00:08:19,251 I guess so. 177 00:08:20,383 --> 00:08:22,648 That's the answer I was lookin' for. 178 00:08:25,616 --> 00:08:27,647 So long story short, we gotta go in 179 00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:29,863 a half hour early tomorrow to take a test 180 00:08:29,930 --> 00:08:33,261 just so the company can save, like, 7 million bucks. 181 00:08:33,328 --> 00:08:36,027 You think we're gonna see any of that in our paychecks? 182 00:08:36,094 --> 00:08:38,243 Don't think so. 183 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:41,375 That is some nice hand lotion you have in the bathroom. 184 00:08:43,208 --> 00:08:44,473 Oh, geez. 185 00:08:48,606 --> 00:08:50,071 Mrs. Heffernan, dinner was amazing. 186 00:08:50,139 --> 00:08:52,470 Oh, please. It's my pleasure. I'll second that, Janet. 187 00:08:52,537 --> 00:08:54,585 You guys wanna hit coopers, play some pool? 188 00:08:54,737 --> 00:08:55,936 Oh, yeah, I'm in. 189 00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:57,301 Let's hurry up and grab a table. 190 00:08:57,369 --> 00:08:58,901 Let's get goin'. 191 00:09:00,735 --> 00:09:02,166 Dougie? Yeah? 192 00:09:02,234 --> 00:09:03,532 Shouldn't you be studyin'? 193 00:09:03,599 --> 00:09:04,731 For what? 194 00:09:04,799 --> 00:09:05,907 For your test. It's tomorrow. 195 00:09:05,931 --> 00:09:07,130 I'll study later. 196 00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:09,613 You know, y-you're not a great test taker. 197 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:12,478 It's a test about driving. I'm a driver. 198 00:09:12,546 --> 00:09:15,293 Douglas, I feel very strongly that you should not 199 00:09:15,361 --> 00:09:17,293 go play pool with your friends right now. 200 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:18,775 Tough. I'm goin'. 201 00:09:18,843 --> 00:09:20,575 Joe, would you say something? 202 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,425 What do you want from me? 203 00:09:22,493 --> 00:09:24,840 I want you to put down your g.D. Newspaper 204 00:09:25,008 --> 00:09:26,422 and tell your son to study. 205 00:09:26,489 --> 00:09:28,821 Your mother wants you to study. 206 00:09:28,889 --> 00:09:30,754 Would you guys get off my case? 207 00:09:30,822 --> 00:09:32,720 I'm 34-and-a-half. God! 208 00:09:36,552 --> 00:09:38,368 All right. You got 30 minutes. 209 00:09:38,436 --> 00:09:40,434 After that, pencils down. 210 00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:43,633 No talking. No belching. 211 00:09:43,701 --> 00:09:45,665 This is serious business, people. 212 00:09:45,733 --> 00:09:47,464 All right. Begin. 213 00:11:06,282 --> 00:11:07,381 Heffernan! 214 00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,647 Yeah. Ok. Almost done. 215 00:11:14,912 --> 00:11:16,311 Oh, hi, Dougie. How was work? 216 00:11:16,378 --> 00:11:18,443 Uh, it was good. I'm gonna go upstairs and shower. 217 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,175 Wait. How did your test go? 218 00:11:20,243 --> 00:11:22,275 Uh, well, uh... 219 00:11:22,343 --> 00:11:24,008 They, uh, cancelled it. 220 00:11:24,942 --> 00:11:26,540 Really? Why? 221 00:11:26,607 --> 00:11:28,273 I don't know why. They didn't tell us. 222 00:11:28,341 --> 00:11:29,739 I mean, why are our trucks green? 223 00:11:29,806 --> 00:11:32,754 They didn't tell us that, either. Ok, I gotta go. 224 00:11:40,918 --> 00:11:43,317 Oh, good morning, Joseph. 225 00:11:43,385 --> 00:11:46,283 I see your chair's holding up well. 226 00:11:46,350 --> 00:11:48,847 Kudos on your craftsmanship. 227 00:11:48,915 --> 00:11:50,114 Thanks. 228 00:11:50,182 --> 00:11:51,613 Anyway, remember the other day 229 00:11:51,681 --> 00:11:53,896 we were kicking around an idea 230 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,295 about an alternate screwdriver? 231 00:11:57,313 --> 00:11:58,510 What? 232 00:11:58,578 --> 00:12:01,359 I think you may have called it the "Joe's" head. 233 00:12:01,427 --> 00:12:03,859 That? I was joking. 234 00:12:03,926 --> 00:12:06,657 Well, then, if someone were to develop 235 00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:08,073 a "Joe's" head 236 00:12:08,141 --> 00:12:11,488 or let's say an "ar-nold's" head screwdriver, 237 00:12:11,556 --> 00:12:13,888 but, uh, you'd have no problem with that, huh? 238 00:12:13,956 --> 00:12:15,836 Not really. No. 239 00:12:15,904 --> 00:12:19,019 Would you sign this document to that effect? 240 00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:20,118 What's this? 241 00:12:20,186 --> 00:12:21,584 It's a standard release form. 242 00:12:21,651 --> 00:12:23,050 I'm not signin' this. 243 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,183 Oh, really? So I go out and do all the heavy lifting 244 00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:26,349 to get this thing to work, 245 00:12:26,417 --> 00:12:27,582 then you come in at the end 246 00:12:27,650 --> 00:12:30,131 and claim all the profits. Is that it? 247 00:12:30,198 --> 00:12:32,563 You're out of your mind. 248 00:12:32,681 --> 00:12:36,178 I've never been more in my mind. 249 00:12:36,246 --> 00:12:38,527 You want me to sign this? All right. 250 00:12:38,595 --> 00:12:40,361 Buy me out. 10 bucks. 251 00:12:40,428 --> 00:12:41,543 5.10. 252 00:12:41,611 --> 00:12:42,842 Deal. 253 00:12:48,957 --> 00:12:51,289 So you got all those, uh, packages sorted by priority code? 254 00:12:51,356 --> 00:12:52,423 Yeah. 255 00:12:52,490 --> 00:12:54,421 All right. 256 00:12:54,488 --> 00:12:56,220 I'll make a belt guy out of you yet. 257 00:12:56,288 --> 00:12:57,887 Hey, I'm not a belt guy, ok? 258 00:12:57,954 --> 00:13:00,318 I'm a driver who's wearin' a belt for 3 months. 259 00:13:00,386 --> 00:13:02,184 Ok, ok. 260 00:13:02,252 --> 00:13:03,718 Hey, belty! 261 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:07,616 Hey, so how's my truck lookin'? 262 00:13:07,683 --> 00:13:09,148 I... I need, like, 10 more minutes. 263 00:13:09,216 --> 00:13:11,648 Let me know when it's done. I'm gonna grab some coffee. 264 00:13:11,715 --> 00:13:13,781 All right. Go have your precious coffee. 265 00:13:13,848 --> 00:13:15,413 Yo, what's up with you, man? 266 00:13:15,479 --> 00:13:17,612 I... I didn't make you fail the test. 267 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:20,053 No, but you know what? You're the one who said this whole thing was b.S. 268 00:13:20,077 --> 00:13:21,676 And that we should go play pool. 269 00:13:21,744 --> 00:13:23,520 Now all of a sudden, you're drivin', and I'm loadin'. 270 00:13:23,544 --> 00:13:25,525 I guess I'm just wonderin' how that all happened? 271 00:13:25,593 --> 00:13:27,690 I guess it happened because I'm not a moron. 272 00:13:27,758 --> 00:13:29,956 So I took 5 minutes to look at the manual. 273 00:13:30,024 --> 00:13:32,006 "Oh, Mr. O'Boyle, I love you, 274 00:13:32,074 --> 00:13:34,005 especially that part." 275 00:13:34,073 --> 00:13:35,637 Yeah. Yeah. 276 00:13:37,636 --> 00:13:40,935 I'm gonna assume that's just the belt talkin', man. 277 00:13:42,502 --> 00:13:43,667 Look at that, Heffernan. 278 00:13:43,735 --> 00:13:45,734 You finally got a bra for your belly. 279 00:13:45,801 --> 00:13:48,398 Give him a break, huh? It's not easy for him 280 00:13:48,466 --> 00:13:49,965 when I'm drivin' his truck! 281 00:13:51,165 --> 00:13:52,963 You guys are pretty funny, you know that? 282 00:13:53,031 --> 00:13:54,830 You talk pretty tough, but you know what? 283 00:13:54,897 --> 00:13:58,529 I don't hear anybody talkin' crap up here on the loadin' dock. 284 00:14:07,825 --> 00:14:10,289 I don't see you up here, apple bow. 285 00:14:14,173 --> 00:14:17,720 Doug? Shouldn't you be gettin' to work? 286 00:14:17,788 --> 00:14:20,236 Honey, why aren't you up yet? 287 00:14:20,304 --> 00:14:22,635 I don't feel good. 288 00:14:22,703 --> 00:14:23,801 What's wrong? 289 00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:28,499 I got a cough here, and I... I... I got chills, 290 00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:31,115 and I threw up in my throat a little. 291 00:14:32,214 --> 00:14:34,247 You know, you feel a little warm. 292 00:14:34,315 --> 00:14:36,929 Maybe you should stay home from work. 293 00:14:36,996 --> 00:14:38,579 Ok. 294 00:14:38,646 --> 00:14:40,861 Good. I'll make you some tea with honey. 295 00:14:40,929 --> 00:14:43,143 It'll help settle your stomach. 296 00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:47,608 Say "ah." 297 00:14:48,442 --> 00:14:50,141 Ah. There you go. 298 00:15:03,252 --> 00:15:04,850 Hello? 299 00:15:04,918 --> 00:15:07,016 Oh, hi, Mr. O'Boyle. 300 00:15:07,084 --> 00:15:09,799 Uh, this is Doug's mother. 301 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,481 Ok. Um, he should call you 302 00:15:12,549 --> 00:15:15,947 and tell you where last month's t-11's are. 303 00:15:16,014 --> 00:15:18,529 Got it. Oh, he's fine. 304 00:15:18,596 --> 00:15:21,811 He should be back behind the wheel in a day or 2. 305 00:15:22,245 --> 00:15:23,460 What? 306 00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:28,808 No, I was not aware of that. 307 00:15:28,876 --> 00:15:30,957 Don't go away. We'll be right back 308 00:15:31,024 --> 00:15:34,322 with more of our flintstones marathon after this. 309 00:15:35,623 --> 00:15:38,169 Yabba-dabba-delightful. 310 00:15:41,787 --> 00:15:43,335 Doug! 311 00:15:43,404 --> 00:15:45,750 Uh, come in. 312 00:15:45,818 --> 00:15:48,383 Hello, dear. How was your toast? 313 00:15:49,234 --> 00:15:51,848 I got... I got it down. 314 00:15:51,916 --> 00:15:55,746 I just had a very interesting conversation with Mr. O'Boyle. 315 00:15:56,398 --> 00:15:58,113 Oh, God. 316 00:15:58,181 --> 00:16:01,545 I want you to know I am very disappointed in you 317 00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:05,009 not that you failed the test, but that you lied to me. 318 00:16:05,077 --> 00:16:07,375 I'm... I'm sorry I lied, but it's... it's your fault. 319 00:16:07,443 --> 00:16:08,858 How is it my fault? 320 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,724 You got in my head, tellin' me all that stuff 321 00:16:10,791 --> 00:16:12,090 about how I'm a bad test taker. 322 00:16:12,158 --> 00:16:15,256 Did I tell you to go play pool with your buddies? 323 00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:16,705 No. 324 00:16:16,773 --> 00:16:18,271 What's goin' on in here? 325 00:16:18,338 --> 00:16:21,319 Joe, can I talk to you? In private? 326 00:16:21,386 --> 00:16:23,530 Why don't you leave him alone? He's sick. 327 00:16:23,554 --> 00:16:24,554 He's not sick. 328 00:16:24,619 --> 00:16:25,830 What do you mean? 329 00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,817 He failed that test. He was fakin' it. 330 00:16:27,885 --> 00:16:29,000 Oh, for cryin' out loud! 331 00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:30,899 How does a driver fail a driving test? 332 00:16:30,967 --> 00:16:32,315 Shh. Don't yell at him. 333 00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,380 We're only gonna push him further away. 334 00:16:34,448 --> 00:16:35,913 What is wrong with that kid? 335 00:16:35,998 --> 00:16:36,946 We had him tested. 336 00:16:37,014 --> 00:16:38,780 He's got a short attention span. 337 00:16:38,847 --> 00:16:41,428 Nah, that's just a fancy way of sayin' that he's stupid. 338 00:16:41,496 --> 00:16:43,127 Hearing you! 339 00:16:51,991 --> 00:16:54,422 Ah, just the man I wanted to see. 340 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,555 Hey, what's up? 341 00:16:57,623 --> 00:16:58,920 I have something to show you, 342 00:16:58,988 --> 00:17:01,354 vis-a-vis our conversation the other day. 343 00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:02,586 What? 344 00:17:05,085 --> 00:17:06,584 Meet the future. 345 00:17:06,652 --> 00:17:09,466 The prototype of the Arthur's head screwdriver. 346 00:17:09,534 --> 00:17:11,899 Oh. Oh, yeah. 347 00:17:11,967 --> 00:17:14,598 I fashioned it from an old typewriter key. 348 00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:18,947 You see, the letter "a" on the screwdriver 349 00:17:19,013 --> 00:17:22,378 will fit into the corresponding "a" hole 350 00:17:22,446 --> 00:17:24,777 in the "Arthur's" head screw. 351 00:17:26,361 --> 00:17:27,859 Cool. 352 00:17:27,927 --> 00:17:30,524 So, uh, how many units would be an appropriate first order 353 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:31,991 for an item of this magnitude? 354 00:17:32,058 --> 00:17:33,224 I don't know. 355 00:17:33,292 --> 00:17:34,292 Ballpark. 356 00:17:34,341 --> 00:17:35,390 10,000? Really? 357 00:17:35,457 --> 00:17:37,888 My heart's beatin' like a rabbit. 358 00:17:39,555 --> 00:17:41,320 We'll be in touch. 359 00:17:45,603 --> 00:17:47,151 Yahoo! 360 00:17:51,551 --> 00:17:52,482 One other thing. 361 00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:54,482 You guys gotta get your paperwork straight. 362 00:17:54,550 --> 00:17:56,148 If you wanna get paid your overtime, 363 00:17:56,215 --> 00:17:57,514 you gotta fill out all 3 forms: 364 00:17:57,582 --> 00:17:59,412 The pink, the blue, and the green. 365 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,528 The pink goes in my box, the blue goes upstairs, 366 00:18:01,596 --> 00:18:03,060 the green is for your files 367 00:18:03,128 --> 00:18:05,671 for those of you with filing cabinets, 368 00:18:05,695 --> 00:18:07,609 which I'm guessing is not too many. 369 00:18:07,677 --> 00:18:08,942 Hello. 370 00:18:10,043 --> 00:18:11,141 Can I help you? 371 00:18:11,209 --> 00:18:13,207 I'm just here to see Douglas. 372 00:18:13,275 --> 00:18:15,173 I'm his mother. 373 00:18:16,773 --> 00:18:19,104 Well, I'm done here. Back to work. 374 00:18:22,338 --> 00:18:23,836 Ma, what are you doing here? 375 00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:25,168 You forgot your lunch. 376 00:18:25,236 --> 00:18:26,469 I gotta run, ok? 377 00:18:26,536 --> 00:18:27,802 Ok, fine. See you for dinner. 378 00:18:27,869 --> 00:18:28,967 No! 379 00:18:29,768 --> 00:18:31,367 Fine. Goodbye. 380 00:18:43,129 --> 00:18:45,693 Mom, no! 381 00:18:45,761 --> 00:18:48,992 The thing is, I don't think Doug's performance on a test 382 00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:51,675 is really indicative of what he's capable of. 383 00:18:51,859 --> 00:18:53,158 I hope not. 384 00:18:53,226 --> 00:18:56,007 He got the lowest score in the borough. 385 00:18:57,490 --> 00:18:58,439 Is there any way 386 00:18:58,506 --> 00:19:00,738 that Doug could take that test again? 387 00:19:00,805 --> 00:19:04,187 I don't know. He's really supposed to wait 3 months. 388 00:19:04,305 --> 00:19:06,569 Mr. O'Boyle, do you have children? 389 00:19:06,636 --> 00:19:09,100 A couple of boys, 17 and 2. 390 00:19:11,018 --> 00:19:12,717 Well, then, you must understand 391 00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:15,165 as a parent what this is like. 392 00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:17,781 Sometimes children lose their way, 393 00:19:17,848 --> 00:19:20,280 and they need a helpin' hand, you know? 394 00:19:20,348 --> 00:19:21,646 And I'm sure that you would want 395 00:19:21,714 --> 00:19:24,394 someone to do it for your boys. 396 00:19:24,462 --> 00:19:26,777 Yeah, well, maybe I can work somethin' out, 397 00:19:26,844 --> 00:19:29,176 but if he fails the test again, 398 00:19:29,344 --> 00:19:30,975 I'm screwed to the wall. 399 00:19:31,042 --> 00:19:33,058 Believe me, Doug will not take the test 400 00:19:33,125 --> 00:19:35,873 so lightly this time, will you, Doug? 401 00:19:36,224 --> 00:19:37,556 I won't. 402 00:19:38,906 --> 00:19:40,288 You won't what? 403 00:19:40,423 --> 00:19:43,236 I won't take the test so lightly this time. 404 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,051 What is the minimum tread depth for tires? 405 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,633 4/32 of an inch for the front tires, 406 00:19:52,701 --> 00:19:54,811 2/32 of an inch for the rear. 407 00:19:54,835 --> 00:19:57,714 Very good! You're gettin' there, kiddo! 408 00:19:59,348 --> 00:20:02,113 Hey, we're gonna go shoot some hoops. 409 00:20:02,179 --> 00:20:03,296 Doug. 410 00:20:05,113 --> 00:20:07,161 I gotta study. 411 00:20:07,229 --> 00:20:08,927 All right. L-later, man. 412 00:20:08,994 --> 00:20:10,160 Yeah. Oh, hey, uh, 413 00:20:10,227 --> 00:20:11,825 could I use your bathroom real quick? 414 00:20:11,893 --> 00:20:12,957 Oh, here we go again. 415 00:20:13,025 --> 00:20:15,157 You know, ok, that's it. You know what? 416 00:20:15,224 --> 00:20:17,856 I... I didn't know you were home that day, all right? 417 00:20:17,924 --> 00:20:20,939 Victoria principal was on the cover of TV guide. 418 00:20:21,006 --> 00:20:23,070 Don't define me by one moment of weakness. 419 00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:24,553 Let me live! 420 00:20:26,387 --> 00:20:29,468 I'm sorry. You're right, son. I apologize. 421 00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:32,067 Thank you. 422 00:20:32,135 --> 00:20:34,633 Um, well, is it cool if I use the bathroom? 423 00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,715 I'd rather you didn't. 424 00:20:42,331 --> 00:20:43,445 Loser buys the wings. 425 00:20:43,513 --> 00:20:44,862 Gonna be you, sucker. 426 00:20:44,896 --> 00:20:46,012 Shotgun! 427 00:20:47,612 --> 00:20:49,510 Come on. We got more to do. 428 00:20:49,578 --> 00:20:50,943 Ok, where were we? 429 00:20:51,010 --> 00:20:53,059 Ah, chapter 4. "Load management." 430 00:20:54,825 --> 00:20:56,657 Hello? 431 00:20:56,725 --> 00:20:59,723 I'm sorry. Doug can't talk on the phone. 432 00:20:59,790 --> 00:21:01,272 Because he can't socialize 433 00:21:01,339 --> 00:21:03,221 until he's finished studying for his test. 434 00:21:03,289 --> 00:21:05,104 You'll have to call back. 435 00:21:06,270 --> 00:21:08,119 All right, where were we? Chapter 4. 436 00:21:09,952 --> 00:21:11,584 Hello? 437 00:21:11,652 --> 00:21:13,917 Can I speak to my husband, please? 438 00:21:17,332 --> 00:21:20,148 All right. It's Carrie. Make it quick. 439 00:21:20,215 --> 00:21:21,580 Hey. 440 00:21:21,648 --> 00:21:24,063 You can't socialize? 441 00:21:24,130 --> 00:21:26,528 She's just mad at me 'cause I failed my I.P.S. Test, 442 00:21:26,596 --> 00:21:27,728 and she had to go in there 443 00:21:27,795 --> 00:21:29,560 and get O'Boyle to give me another shot, 444 00:21:29,628 --> 00:21:30,993 and now she won't let me 445 00:21:31,060 --> 00:21:33,775 play basketball with the guys 'cause I gotta study. 446 00:21:33,843 --> 00:21:35,092 It sucks. 447 00:21:36,942 --> 00:21:39,506 What the hell is going on over there? 448 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,338 Please come home. 449 00:21:52,818 --> 00:21:54,116 That's 3.