1 00:00:07,473 --> 00:00:08,573 Hello. 2 00:00:10,943 --> 00:00:13,010 Oh, hold on a second. I'll get him. 3 00:00:14,713 --> 00:00:16,846 Arthur, phone! 4 00:00:16,913 --> 00:00:18,013 Who is it? 5 00:00:18,081 --> 00:00:21,216 It's Louis DiRobertus from some law firm. 6 00:00:21,283 --> 00:00:22,718 Tell him to drop dead. 7 00:00:25,254 --> 00:00:26,596 OK, I'm not gonna tell him to drop dead. 8 00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:30,288 Then tell him to go to hell. 9 00:00:30,357 --> 00:00:31,823 Not telling him that, either. 10 00:00:31,858 --> 00:00:33,224 Then you go to hell. 11 00:00:33,292 --> 00:00:34,592 You go to hell! 12 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,926 Drop dead! 13 00:00:40,129 --> 00:00:41,430 Sorry. Wrong number. 14 00:01:17,822 --> 00:01:20,457 I'm not gonna tell him to go to hell, Dad! 15 00:01:20,525 --> 00:01:22,625 Then you go to hell! 16 00:01:24,093 --> 00:01:25,827 Try again tomorrow. 17 00:01:25,894 --> 00:01:27,361 OK, bye. 18 00:01:27,429 --> 00:01:28,262 That lawyer again? 19 00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:29,330 Yeah. 20 00:01:29,364 --> 00:01:30,397 Why does he keep calling? 21 00:01:30,464 --> 00:01:31,698 What'd your father do, anyway? 22 00:01:31,766 --> 00:01:33,743 I don't know, but I'm thinking we'd better be ready 23 00:01:33,767 --> 00:01:36,535 to throw him in the car and just drive. 24 00:01:36,602 --> 00:01:38,202 Oh, man. You think he knocked someone up 25 00:01:38,270 --> 00:01:40,170 and they're hunting him down for child support? 26 00:01:42,006 --> 00:01:43,506 No. 27 00:01:43,573 --> 00:01:46,807 How creepy would that be? 28 00:01:46,875 --> 00:01:49,876 Arthur's demon spawn running around out there. 29 00:01:51,012 --> 00:01:54,814 Um... he is my father, remember? 30 00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:57,515 Oh, yeah. 31 00:01:59,217 --> 00:02:01,185 Still. 32 00:02:01,252 --> 00:02:02,685 Kids, I'm heading out to the movies. 33 00:02:02,752 --> 00:02:03,919 Got a sandwich up my sleeve, 34 00:02:03,988 --> 00:02:07,122 and a Mr. Pibb in my breast pocket. 35 00:02:07,190 --> 00:02:08,190 Do I look lumpy? 36 00:02:11,126 --> 00:02:13,493 No more than usual. 37 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,162 Uh, Dad, before you go, uh... 38 00:02:16,229 --> 00:02:18,363 what's the story with this lawyer who keeps calling? 39 00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:20,798 Are you in some kind of trouble or something? 40 00:02:20,866 --> 00:02:22,242 Trouble? Oh, no. Not at all, darling. 41 00:02:22,266 --> 00:02:24,134 It's just about some outstanding paperwork 42 00:02:24,202 --> 00:02:26,602 for the house I own over on Borcher Avenue 43 00:02:26,670 --> 00:02:28,303 with my half-brother Skitch. 44 00:02:28,371 --> 00:02:29,938 Well, have a good evening. 45 00:02:34,642 --> 00:02:36,509 Borcher Avenue. 46 00:02:36,577 --> 00:02:39,711 Oh! OK, that must have been his aunt's house. 47 00:02:39,779 --> 00:02:41,111 She died, like, 10 years ago, 48 00:02:41,180 --> 00:02:42,346 and she didn't have any kids, 49 00:02:42,414 --> 00:02:45,815 so she must have left it to my dad and Skitch. 50 00:02:45,883 --> 00:02:48,718 He owns a house? 51 00:02:50,786 --> 00:02:53,020 Yeah, but I guess he never did anything with it, 52 00:02:53,088 --> 00:02:54,454 because he hates my Uncle Skitch, 53 00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:56,922 like Tom and Jerry hate, you know what I'm saying? 54 00:02:56,990 --> 00:03:00,759 He owns a house? 55 00:03:00,826 --> 00:03:02,727 Yes. 56 00:03:02,795 --> 00:03:05,962 The man who's stolen hundreds of dollars in change from me 57 00:03:06,030 --> 00:03:09,431 19 cents at a time owns a house?! 58 00:03:09,499 --> 00:03:10,965 Yes. Will you relax, Doug? 59 00:03:11,033 --> 00:03:12,900 It's not like he ever could have lived there. 60 00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:16,135 He hasn't talked to my Uncle Skitch in, like, 20 years. 61 00:03:16,203 --> 00:03:19,037 The man who's walked in on us having sex 9 times... 62 00:03:19,105 --> 00:03:22,373 And me twice... Owns a house?! 63 00:03:24,042 --> 00:03:26,777 Would you stop making yourself crazy? 64 00:03:26,845 --> 00:03:28,445 I mean, the good news is maybe we'll get 65 00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:30,680 a little inheritance someday, all right? 66 00:03:30,748 --> 00:03:31,913 Now, I'm gonna go change. 67 00:03:31,981 --> 00:03:34,082 Will you take the chicken out of the freezer? 68 00:03:46,591 --> 00:03:48,024 Chicken's defrosting nicely. 69 00:03:48,091 --> 00:03:51,259 I also took the liberty of setting the table. 70 00:03:51,328 --> 00:03:52,728 Now... 71 00:03:52,796 --> 00:03:54,261 He's not moving out, Doug. 72 00:03:54,330 --> 00:03:56,731 Why not?! 73 00:03:56,799 --> 00:03:58,732 Because he's an old man, OK? 74 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,967 We can't just expect to throw him in a empty house by himself 75 00:04:02,035 --> 00:04:03,402 and hope he survives. 76 00:04:03,470 --> 00:04:06,371 Why not?! 77 00:04:06,438 --> 00:04:09,674 Because, Doug, when we left him alone in this house 78 00:04:09,741 --> 00:04:11,207 he started a small fire, 79 00:04:11,275 --> 00:04:13,709 and managed to change our long distance carrier. 80 00:04:13,777 --> 00:04:15,844 Look, OK. How about this? 81 00:04:15,912 --> 00:04:17,022 What if he didn't live there alone? 82 00:04:17,046 --> 00:04:18,322 What about if he went with his brother... 83 00:04:18,346 --> 00:04:21,347 What's his name? Snitch, Satch. 84 00:04:21,415 --> 00:04:22,783 Skitch. Yeah! 85 00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:25,117 Where's he at? The brothers could live together. 86 00:04:25,185 --> 00:04:26,785 Did you hear a word I said? 87 00:04:26,852 --> 00:04:29,054 My father won't even talk to him. 88 00:04:29,121 --> 00:04:31,388 Oh, like, we talk to each other so much really? 89 00:04:31,455 --> 00:04:33,923 Look, Carrie, even if they don't get along, 90 00:04:33,991 --> 00:04:35,135 you know, they could put a piece of tape 91 00:04:35,159 --> 00:04:36,334 down the middle of the house... 92 00:04:36,358 --> 00:04:37,159 Each take a side. 93 00:04:37,226 --> 00:04:39,426 It worked for the Brady kids. 94 00:04:39,494 --> 00:04:41,862 Oh, really? Did Peter ever call Greg 95 00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:44,097 a son of a bitch rat bastard? 96 00:04:44,165 --> 00:04:46,698 May have. I didn't see every episode. 97 00:04:46,766 --> 00:04:50,033 Uh... I'm pretty sure you did. 98 00:04:50,101 --> 00:04:51,735 Look, can't we just get them together. 99 00:04:51,802 --> 00:04:52,736 See if they can hash it out? 100 00:04:52,803 --> 00:04:54,337 No, we can't. I tried. 101 00:04:54,405 --> 00:04:55,537 When?! 102 00:04:55,605 --> 00:04:57,049 A couple of years ago I was going across 103 00:04:57,073 --> 00:04:58,373 the George Washington Bridge. 104 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,375 I ran into Skitch. He's a toll-taker there. 105 00:05:00,442 --> 00:05:02,542 I got his number, I gave it to my father, 106 00:05:02,610 --> 00:05:06,078 who crumpled it up and swallowed it. 107 00:05:06,146 --> 00:05:09,981 He owns a house! 108 00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:12,682 Carrie, do you understand what's going on here? 109 00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:13,984 It's like we've been stranded 110 00:05:14,051 --> 00:05:16,185 on Gilligan's Island for the past 5 years, 111 00:05:16,253 --> 00:05:17,619 and the whole time there's a boat 112 00:05:17,686 --> 00:05:19,887 on the other side of the lagoon! 113 00:05:19,955 --> 00:05:22,723 OK, so first it's the Brady Bunch, 114 00:05:22,791 --> 00:05:24,991 now it's Gilligan's Island. What's next? 115 00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:26,726 I Dream of Jeannie, Doug? 116 00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:27,926 Actually, yeah, 117 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,695 'cause I wish he would move out. 118 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,896 OK, listen to me. 119 00:05:31,963 --> 00:05:33,097 I agree, 120 00:05:33,164 --> 00:05:36,599 if my dad and Skitch were to become best friends 121 00:05:36,666 --> 00:05:40,234 and move in together, it would be fantastic. 122 00:05:40,302 --> 00:05:42,136 But it's never gonna happen. 123 00:05:43,505 --> 00:05:44,838 Let me take a crack at it. 124 00:05:44,906 --> 00:05:46,706 No! Why not?! 125 00:05:46,774 --> 00:05:48,217 Doug, come on. If you bring this up to my father, 126 00:05:48,241 --> 00:05:50,542 he's just gonna go crazy, so I am begging you. 127 00:05:50,610 --> 00:05:53,010 Please leave this alone. 128 00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:59,781 Swell of you to take me to the circus, Douglas. 129 00:05:59,849 --> 00:06:00,983 Sure, buddy. 130 00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:02,326 Hey, how about when that clown went to throw 131 00:06:02,350 --> 00:06:04,184 that bucket of water on you, huh? 132 00:06:04,252 --> 00:06:07,321 It turned out to be confetti. 133 00:06:07,388 --> 00:06:08,821 He had me! He really had me! 134 00:06:08,888 --> 00:06:11,524 The look on your face. 135 00:06:11,591 --> 00:06:13,525 Ahh, well... 136 00:06:13,592 --> 00:06:15,659 time to hop across the ol' G.W. Bridge 137 00:06:15,726 --> 00:06:16,726 and head on home. 138 00:06:16,795 --> 00:06:18,794 Hey, why don't you shimmy over 139 00:06:18,862 --> 00:06:20,563 to that exact change lane over there? 140 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:22,497 I always got plenty of change on me. 141 00:06:22,565 --> 00:06:24,899 I know you do. 142 00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:27,301 No, I think we'll stay here in Lane 9. 143 00:06:27,368 --> 00:06:28,602 It's my, uh, lucky number. 144 00:06:28,669 --> 00:06:31,070 Wait a minute. 145 00:06:31,137 --> 00:06:34,138 I know for a fact that 5 is your lucky number. 146 00:06:34,206 --> 00:06:36,474 What's going on here? 147 00:06:42,479 --> 00:06:44,846 $6.00 please. 148 00:06:44,914 --> 00:06:47,914 Hey, S. Spooner, wait a second. 149 00:06:47,982 --> 00:06:50,015 Isn't that your half brother Skitch? 150 00:06:50,083 --> 00:06:52,918 You know damn well it is, you fat turncoat! 151 00:06:52,986 --> 00:06:54,519 That you, Artie? 152 00:06:54,587 --> 00:06:55,520 How you doing? 153 00:06:55,588 --> 00:06:56,654 Let me out of this car. 154 00:06:56,721 --> 00:06:58,556 Arthur, I got the child safety locks on. 155 00:06:58,624 --> 00:07:00,624 I think I can get past child safety locks. 156 00:07:02,892 --> 00:07:04,660 Just open it, Douglas! 157 00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,628 So how you been, Artie? 158 00:07:06,695 --> 00:07:08,395 You never call. 159 00:07:10,732 --> 00:07:11,809 Would you just talk to your brother? 160 00:07:11,833 --> 00:07:14,033 So you must be Carrie's husband, right? 161 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,668 Yeah, yeah. Doug Heffernan. Nice to meet you. 162 00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:17,669 So where are you fellas coming from? 163 00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:18,670 The circus? 164 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:19,770 Yeah, yeah. 165 00:07:19,838 --> 00:07:22,171 Uh, you know what? We're gonna whip around. 166 00:07:22,239 --> 00:07:23,349 We'll see you in about 25 minutes. 167 00:07:23,373 --> 00:07:24,373 See you, Artie! OK. 168 00:07:30,879 --> 00:07:34,681 There are the fellas. 169 00:07:34,749 --> 00:07:36,381 That's $6.00. 170 00:07:36,449 --> 00:07:38,816 Oh, uh, can you break a 20? 171 00:07:38,884 --> 00:07:40,852 I can only give you singles. Is that all right? 172 00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,385 You don't have any fives? 173 00:07:42,453 --> 00:07:44,787 Why are we back here?! 174 00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:46,122 So you can talk to this man, 175 00:07:46,189 --> 00:07:47,789 now, come on. He seems very, very nice. 176 00:07:47,857 --> 00:07:50,358 Nice? Thanks to him I went all the way through school 177 00:07:50,425 --> 00:07:51,465 being called "monkey boy." 178 00:07:51,492 --> 00:07:52,993 Come on, Artie. 179 00:07:53,061 --> 00:07:54,660 You had those long arms, 180 00:07:54,728 --> 00:07:56,395 and you didn't help your cause 181 00:07:56,463 --> 00:07:58,463 riding around on that tricycle everywhere. 182 00:07:58,531 --> 00:08:02,466 I don't know. Monkey boy sounds pretty cool to me, you know? 183 00:08:02,534 --> 00:08:03,833 Almost like a superhero. 184 00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:06,536 This looks like a job for Monkey Boy! 185 00:08:06,604 --> 00:08:09,338 Well, I was his victim in a thousand other ways, too. 186 00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:11,205 I was bullied. I was scapegoated. 187 00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:13,506 I was constantly being sneezed on! 188 00:08:13,574 --> 00:08:14,708 Oh, all right, 189 00:08:14,775 --> 00:08:17,776 I admit I did some pretty stupid things to you. 190 00:08:17,844 --> 00:08:20,311 Why?! 191 00:08:21,514 --> 00:08:23,413 You chew on that. Be right back. 192 00:08:28,719 --> 00:08:31,086 I did those things because it was the only way 193 00:08:31,154 --> 00:08:32,887 I could get Dad's approval. 194 00:08:32,954 --> 00:08:33,988 Oh, yeah? 195 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,789 Well, what about after he died? 196 00:08:35,856 --> 00:08:38,658 You made fun of me in your eulogy, for God's sake! 197 00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:41,226 I thought that's what he would have wanted. 198 00:08:41,294 --> 00:08:42,627 That's $6.00. 199 00:08:43,662 --> 00:08:45,029 Oh, we got a semi. Gotta go. 200 00:08:46,764 --> 00:08:48,298 You did so! I did not. 201 00:08:48,364 --> 00:08:49,298 You did! Never! 202 00:08:49,366 --> 00:08:51,534 At least 5 times. Twice. 203 00:09:01,206 --> 00:09:03,775 OK, that was a $6.00 awkward pause. 204 00:09:05,744 --> 00:09:08,612 Now, you two have had your ups and downs, 205 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:14,114 but the bottom line is you're half brothers. 206 00:09:14,182 --> 00:09:18,585 Do you understand what a special bond that is? 207 00:09:18,653 --> 00:09:21,020 I never had a half brother. 208 00:09:21,121 --> 00:09:23,655 I had a full sister, and it sucked. 209 00:09:23,722 --> 00:09:25,090 Now, come on, guys. 210 00:09:25,157 --> 00:09:27,224 What do you say you bury the hatchet... 211 00:09:27,292 --> 00:09:28,959 before it's too late? 212 00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:34,196 I'm sorry for everything. 213 00:09:34,263 --> 00:09:35,997 You were the best half brother 214 00:09:36,065 --> 00:09:37,697 a guy could have asked for. 215 00:09:37,765 --> 00:09:39,065 I was? 216 00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:40,633 Sure you were. 217 00:09:40,701 --> 00:09:43,035 Damn it, Artie, 218 00:09:43,069 --> 00:09:44,503 I love you. 219 00:09:44,571 --> 00:09:46,537 All right. 220 00:09:48,774 --> 00:09:51,441 I love you, too, Skitch. 221 00:09:53,377 --> 00:09:54,810 Come here, you. 222 00:10:03,117 --> 00:10:05,284 That'll be $6.00. 223 00:10:16,693 --> 00:10:17,893 Wow. 224 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,694 This is sweet. 225 00:10:21,562 --> 00:10:24,030 Hey, look at this place, Skitchy. 226 00:10:24,098 --> 00:10:26,264 Really takes me back. 227 00:10:26,332 --> 00:10:29,934 Hey, remember when we used to play hide-and-seek in here? 228 00:10:30,002 --> 00:10:31,668 Oh, sure. We had lots of fun. 229 00:10:31,736 --> 00:10:33,504 Hey, if you guys decide to move in together, 230 00:10:33,571 --> 00:10:36,606 you can play hide-and-seek whenever you want. 231 00:10:36,673 --> 00:10:38,607 Oh, please. 232 00:10:38,674 --> 00:10:43,410 At our age, we'd be lucky if we played once on weekends. 233 00:10:43,478 --> 00:10:45,678 So what do you think, Skitchy? 234 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:46,945 Should we do this?! 235 00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:48,657 It'd be a hell of a step up from the room I'm renting 236 00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:50,515 over that Chinese joint. 237 00:10:50,582 --> 00:10:52,516 I knew I liked the way you smelled. 238 00:10:54,918 --> 00:10:56,318 Let's do it. 239 00:10:56,386 --> 00:10:57,453 Great. Come on! 240 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:01,255 Let's go check out the old backyard. 241 00:11:06,593 --> 00:11:07,593 Hello! 242 00:11:07,661 --> 00:11:09,227 Doug? 243 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,862 Welcome! 244 00:11:10,929 --> 00:11:12,696 What... I... I just came over from work. 245 00:11:12,764 --> 00:11:14,564 I got your message. What the hell is going on? 246 00:11:14,599 --> 00:11:18,468 Well, Arthur and I happened to be coming back from the circus, 247 00:11:18,535 --> 00:11:19,545 and when we got to the bridge... 248 00:11:19,569 --> 00:11:20,502 Oh, Doug! 249 00:11:20,570 --> 00:11:21,580 Would you let me finish, Carrie, OK? 250 00:11:21,604 --> 00:11:23,070 Yeah, we found Skitch. 251 00:11:23,137 --> 00:11:24,315 And you know what? They made up, 252 00:11:24,339 --> 00:11:25,449 and they want to live together. 253 00:11:25,473 --> 00:11:26,873 They want to! 254 00:11:26,940 --> 00:11:29,007 I told you to leave this alone. 255 00:11:29,075 --> 00:11:30,208 No, no, what you said was, 256 00:11:30,276 --> 00:11:32,377 if they could work it out, that would be fantastic, 257 00:11:32,444 --> 00:11:33,478 and I made it happen! 258 00:11:33,545 --> 00:11:34,785 You shouldn't be yelling at me. 259 00:11:34,846 --> 00:11:37,280 You should be carrying me out of here on your shoulders. 260 00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:40,616 Not literally. You would die. 261 00:11:40,684 --> 00:11:42,617 I don't know. I mean, come on. 262 00:11:42,685 --> 00:11:44,918 Look at this place. It's a disaster. 263 00:11:44,986 --> 00:11:48,020 It's filthy. The... the walls are crumbling. 264 00:11:48,088 --> 00:11:50,289 The carpet's ripped. Come on. 265 00:11:50,357 --> 00:11:53,458 It's probably just protecting beautiful hardwood floors. 266 00:11:53,526 --> 00:11:55,392 Better yet. Cement. 267 00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:57,028 That ain't going anywhere right there. 268 00:11:57,094 --> 00:11:58,628 All it needs is a little TLC. 269 00:11:58,696 --> 00:11:59,696 I can fix it. 270 00:11:59,763 --> 00:12:01,363 I don't know, I mean, even if you did, 271 00:12:01,431 --> 00:12:03,698 I don't want my dad living this far away from us. 272 00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:04,765 It's 6 blocks! 273 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,634 I've eaten sandwiches longer than that. 274 00:12:06,701 --> 00:12:10,069 I don't care. I just... I don't think it's a good idea. 275 00:12:10,137 --> 00:12:11,704 Why not? Give me one reason why not. 276 00:12:11,771 --> 00:12:14,405 Because I don't think it's the right thing for my father. 277 00:12:14,473 --> 00:12:16,041 OK, first of all, I got to tell you 278 00:12:16,108 --> 00:12:17,774 I think it's great for your father. 279 00:12:17,843 --> 00:12:20,376 And second of all, what about you and me? 280 00:12:20,444 --> 00:12:22,422 I mean, isn't it time we started thinking about us? 281 00:12:22,446 --> 00:12:23,978 Do you understand what's going on here? 282 00:12:24,046 --> 00:12:28,382 This is our chance to finally get off the island. 283 00:12:28,450 --> 00:12:30,650 The boat is just there waiting. 284 00:12:30,718 --> 00:12:33,184 It's like I'm the Professor and you're Mary Ann. 285 00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:35,720 All we gotta do is hop on board and sail away! 286 00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:38,955 Sail away with me! 287 00:12:39,023 --> 00:12:40,924 Wait a second. 288 00:12:40,992 --> 00:12:43,459 You're the Professor? 289 00:12:43,526 --> 00:12:45,994 OK, I'm the Skipper. 290 00:12:48,164 --> 00:12:49,763 Come on. What do you say? 291 00:12:49,831 --> 00:12:51,798 I don't know. I mean, do you think my dad 292 00:12:51,866 --> 00:12:54,167 would really be happy here with Skitch? 293 00:12:54,235 --> 00:12:55,634 Are you kidding? 294 00:13:19,952 --> 00:13:22,987 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where you going with that, chief? 295 00:13:23,054 --> 00:13:24,921 Oh, I was gonna take Aunt Rita's room. 296 00:13:24,989 --> 00:13:27,022 Oh, sorry. Already got that one. 297 00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:28,356 That's all right. 298 00:13:28,424 --> 00:13:30,658 I'm the little brother, so I'll take the smaller room. 299 00:13:32,961 --> 00:13:36,461 Uh, I already turned that into my art studio. 300 00:13:36,529 --> 00:13:38,196 I need a place to do my painting. 301 00:13:38,264 --> 00:13:39,364 You paint? 302 00:13:39,431 --> 00:13:41,766 Sure. By numbers. 303 00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:44,401 So where am I supposed to sleep? 304 00:13:44,468 --> 00:13:45,803 The sewing room. 305 00:13:45,869 --> 00:13:48,537 What? 306 00:13:48,605 --> 00:13:50,738 There's barely room for a bed in there, 307 00:13:50,807 --> 00:13:52,739 and there's no windows. 308 00:13:52,808 --> 00:13:55,875 Look, Artie, sometimes I can't sleep at night. 309 00:13:55,943 --> 00:13:58,111 I need to be near my paints. 310 00:13:58,179 --> 00:13:59,945 You haven't changed a bit! 311 00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,379 I don't have to put up with this. 312 00:14:01,447 --> 00:14:03,413 I don't have to live in a lousy sewing room! 313 00:14:03,481 --> 00:14:06,082 It just so happens I have a basement! 314 00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:24,772 All right, so what have you got? 315 00:14:24,796 --> 00:14:26,097 8 1/2 feet. 316 00:14:26,164 --> 00:14:28,931 Oh, good, all right, so we'll put the desk there 317 00:14:28,999 --> 00:14:30,133 and the bookcase over there. 318 00:14:30,201 --> 00:14:35,769 OK, and where precisely will we be throwing down? 319 00:14:35,837 --> 00:14:38,571 We have the old fold-out couch for that, 320 00:14:38,639 --> 00:14:39,873 and that will be right here. 321 00:14:39,940 --> 00:14:41,840 Sure all that stuff's gonna fit here? 322 00:14:41,908 --> 00:14:43,051 Yeah, well, once we get the bed 323 00:14:43,075 --> 00:14:44,151 and all this other crap out of here, 324 00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:45,442 we'll have a lot of space. 325 00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:48,278 OK. Don't laugh when I say this: 326 00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,312 Old-fashioned popcorn machine. 327 00:14:50,380 --> 00:14:54,181 Gotta say, not hating it. 328 00:15:13,429 --> 00:15:15,230 Hey, Deac, I got another one. 329 00:15:25,838 --> 00:15:28,806 I don't care if you are buying me dinner at Appleby's. 330 00:15:28,873 --> 00:15:31,774 I'm doing you a favor, and I can leave anytime I want. 331 00:15:31,842 --> 00:15:35,343 You're doing great, but it's lunch. 332 00:15:35,411 --> 00:15:37,713 Right over there, boys. 333 00:15:37,779 --> 00:15:39,847 Oh. There you go. 334 00:15:39,915 --> 00:15:42,281 So you actually play this thing? 335 00:15:42,349 --> 00:15:43,883 Yeah. Oh, yeah. 336 00:15:43,951 --> 00:15:47,285 Maybe Arthur and I can get an act together. 337 00:15:47,352 --> 00:15:49,854 I'll be the organ grinder, he'll be the monkey. 338 00:15:49,922 --> 00:15:51,254 We'll get him a little round cap. 339 00:15:51,321 --> 00:15:54,189 Nobody will know the difference. 340 00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:56,491 Come on, monkey boy. 341 00:15:56,559 --> 00:15:59,260 Let's go make these fellas some sandwiches, 342 00:15:59,328 --> 00:16:02,129 and maybe I'll find a banana for you. 343 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,365 Skitch is kind of rough, isn't he? 344 00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:08,967 What are you talking about? 345 00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:11,869 I don't know. The way he treats Arthur. 346 00:16:11,936 --> 00:16:13,603 He's just playing with him. 347 00:16:13,671 --> 00:16:15,972 It's hilarious. It's like they're a comedy team. 348 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,674 Arthur's been taking one gut punch after another all day. 349 00:16:18,741 --> 00:16:20,374 He's the straight man. 350 00:16:20,442 --> 00:16:22,186 Whatever, man. I just think it's kind of funky. 351 00:16:22,210 --> 00:16:24,211 It's not funky, it's happy, OK? 352 00:16:24,278 --> 00:16:27,479 Everybody's happy, so if you feel the need to create some sort of problem 353 00:16:27,547 --> 00:16:31,849 between my father-in-law and my... half-uncle-in-law, 354 00:16:31,918 --> 00:16:33,984 then maybe you should just go. 355 00:16:34,052 --> 00:16:36,286 All right. See ya. 356 00:16:36,353 --> 00:16:38,820 Actually, we've still got to move the beds. 357 00:16:43,925 --> 00:16:45,458 Hey. Hey. 358 00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:48,127 How's life over at Phi Delta Spooner? 359 00:16:48,194 --> 00:16:50,329 Excellent. 360 00:16:50,397 --> 00:16:52,707 I got to tell you, honey, you were right about this whole thing. 361 00:16:52,731 --> 00:16:55,332 I feel like a huge weight 362 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,301 has been lifted off my head. 363 00:16:57,368 --> 00:16:59,302 You know, I danced a jig today. 364 00:16:59,369 --> 00:17:01,069 That's right. Right there on the subway. 365 00:17:01,137 --> 00:17:02,904 A guy gave me a dollar. 366 00:17:04,505 --> 00:17:05,672 You done good, baby. 367 00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:08,507 You know me. I aim to please. 368 00:17:08,575 --> 00:17:11,643 No, sir. I aim to please. 369 00:17:11,711 --> 00:17:14,377 I have 5 years to make up to you, 370 00:17:14,445 --> 00:17:17,714 so after you drop this stuff off at my dad's tonight, 371 00:17:17,781 --> 00:17:19,816 it's all about Dougie. 372 00:17:22,585 --> 00:17:23,750 Really? 373 00:17:23,818 --> 00:17:28,555 That's right. I got a drum of chocolate pudding, 374 00:17:28,622 --> 00:17:31,190 and I ain't afraid to use it. 375 00:17:40,197 --> 00:17:41,197 Hello! 376 00:17:41,231 --> 00:17:43,265 Get the door, will ya! 377 00:17:48,003 --> 00:17:49,602 Costco delivery. 378 00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:51,971 I come bearing cereal, pasta, 379 00:17:52,039 --> 00:17:54,706 and the last bottle of shampoo you'll ever need. 380 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,073 Thank you. 381 00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:58,075 Wow. The place looks great. 382 00:17:58,143 --> 00:18:00,143 All that's left is for you guys to sit back, relax, 383 00:18:00,211 --> 00:18:01,843 and enjoy the good life, huh? 384 00:18:01,911 --> 00:18:02,911 Right. 385 00:18:02,946 --> 00:18:04,447 Hey, Bonzo, 386 00:18:04,514 --> 00:18:07,449 my bath isn't gonna draw itself. 387 00:18:07,516 --> 00:18:09,460 OK. You guys seem like you're in the middle of something, 388 00:18:09,484 --> 00:18:10,551 so I'm going to take off. 389 00:18:10,619 --> 00:18:12,518 OK. Good night. 390 00:18:12,586 --> 00:18:15,987 Why the hell don't I hear the water running? 391 00:18:28,296 --> 00:18:31,298 You know, that's shampoo and conditioner in one. 392 00:18:31,365 --> 00:18:33,666 Yes, I do. I do. 393 00:18:43,407 --> 00:18:45,041 Arthur, come here. 394 00:18:48,811 --> 00:18:52,912 Look, I don't think you should be living here with this guy. 395 00:18:52,980 --> 00:18:56,614 So what do you propose I do? 396 00:18:56,682 --> 00:18:59,283 Well, I think you should just... 397 00:18:59,351 --> 00:19:02,186 Do you own any other properties in the area? 398 00:19:02,254 --> 00:19:05,988 A home? A piece of land we could park a trailer on? 399 00:19:06,056 --> 00:19:07,289 No. 400 00:19:07,357 --> 00:19:10,091 OK, fine. You should... 401 00:19:10,159 --> 00:19:11,692 You should come home with us. 402 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,093 But what about my room? 403 00:19:13,161 --> 00:19:18,197 You've already turned it into your popcorn and sex grotto. 404 00:19:18,265 --> 00:19:20,765 I don't care about that, OK? 405 00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:22,143 You shouldn't be living here with this guy. 406 00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:24,668 You should be home in your own room, 407 00:19:24,736 --> 00:19:28,203 living with the people who... 408 00:19:28,271 --> 00:19:29,872 well, the people who love you. 409 00:19:29,939 --> 00:19:31,506 Really? Yeah. 410 00:19:31,573 --> 00:19:33,841 Great. I'll get my things, 411 00:19:33,909 --> 00:19:35,676 tell that son of a bitch good-bye, 412 00:19:35,810 --> 00:19:39,111 and you, me, and Carrie will spend a wonderful evening together. 413 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:41,512 What? 414 00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:45,048 Tonight's not great. Um... 415 00:19:45,116 --> 00:19:48,517 you think you might be able to stick it out just one more day? 416 00:19:48,585 --> 00:19:49,985 OK. All right. OK. 417 00:19:55,156 --> 00:19:56,623 Yeah, I know I said today, 418 00:19:56,691 --> 00:19:59,492 but could we push it back to tomorrow? 419 00:19:59,559 --> 00:20:01,593 All right. 420 00:20:05,463 --> 00:20:07,364 Really want you home, big guy, 421 00:20:07,431 --> 00:20:10,332 but could you just wait till Monday? 422 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,167 Fine. 423 00:20:14,036 --> 00:20:17,604 Artie, did you take one of my Fig Newtons? 424 00:20:17,672 --> 00:20:18,872 Oh, God. 425 00:20:22,108 --> 00:20:24,676 Tell you what. Give me a call the first of next month, 426 00:20:24,744 --> 00:20:28,745 'cause I really want to make this movin' back thing happen. 427 00:20:28,813 --> 00:20:30,513 Doug, you coming? 428 00:20:30,581 --> 00:20:32,347 Be right there. I got to go. 429 00:20:43,323 --> 00:20:44,956 I'm back. 430 00:20:45,023 --> 00:20:47,158 Deal with it. 431 00:20:57,732 --> 00:20:59,199 This pudding is delicious. 432 00:20:59,267 --> 00:21:01,401 You have any more? 433 00:21:01,468 --> 00:21:03,436 We got a lot.