1 00:00:33,799 --> 00:00:35,884 Wow. I don't know who this brown Betty is, 2 00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:38,787 but she knows her way around an apple. 3 00:00:38,855 --> 00:00:40,055 Can I have a bite? 4 00:00:44,394 --> 00:00:45,894 Oh, my God. 5 00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:48,630 I'll get it for you. 6 00:00:51,401 --> 00:00:54,603 Mmm! Mmm, that's good! 7 00:00:54,671 --> 00:00:55,871 How great is this place? 8 00:00:55,939 --> 00:00:57,239 The greatest! Off the hook, 9 00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:58,723 as the kids like to say. 10 00:00:58,791 --> 00:01:01,143 I mean, the ambience, the view. 11 00:01:01,210 --> 00:01:02,955 I mean, look at the sun going down over that bluff. 12 00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:04,680 And you know, I've never been a big fan 13 00:01:04,748 --> 00:01:07,799 of the "sunset," but that's pretty great. 14 00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:10,635 How lucky were we just to stumble onto this spot? 15 00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:13,555 Thank God there was a shooting at that waffle place. 16 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,280 That was weird. 17 00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:23,465 What? 18 00:01:23,533 --> 00:01:25,000 I don't know. I- 19 00:01:25,067 --> 00:01:26,745 when I kissed you, my heart was beating all fast, 20 00:01:26,769 --> 00:01:29,204 and-i don't know- felt all warm inside. 21 00:01:29,272 --> 00:01:32,441 You think something was wrong with the shrimp? 22 00:01:32,508 --> 00:01:34,559 No. Believe it or not, 23 00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:36,494 I think it's love. 24 00:01:36,562 --> 00:01:39,448 Shut up! I'm serious! 25 00:01:39,515 --> 00:01:41,355 And I'm not just saying it to get sex from you. 26 00:01:41,417 --> 00:01:42,667 Really? Yeah. 27 00:01:42,735 --> 00:01:44,096 I mean, if you started doing stuff to me 28 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:45,698 under the table, I don't think I'd stop you, 29 00:01:45,722 --> 00:01:47,822 but... it's not about that. 30 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,424 You know, I feel like 31 00:01:49,492 --> 00:01:52,361 I'm falling in love with you all over again. 32 00:01:52,428 --> 00:01:53,778 In fact, if we weren't married, 33 00:01:53,846 --> 00:01:56,931 I'd be proposing to you right here, right now. 34 00:01:58,234 --> 00:01:59,835 And you'd be looking into my eyes saying, 35 00:01:59,903 --> 00:02:02,004 "give me a couple of days to think about it." 36 00:02:02,071 --> 00:02:03,505 Stop! 37 00:02:03,573 --> 00:02:06,191 Hey, you know, I have an idea. 38 00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:08,343 Eh, forget it. It's stupid. 39 00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:09,945 What? 40 00:02:10,013 --> 00:02:11,847 I was just thinking, you know, maybe we should 41 00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:13,181 renew our vows, you know? 42 00:02:13,249 --> 00:02:15,917 Have, like, a whole ceremony here. 43 00:02:15,985 --> 00:02:17,385 On the bluff. 44 00:02:17,453 --> 00:02:18,904 I don't love it. You don't? 45 00:02:18,971 --> 00:02:21,172 I super love it! 46 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,224 Really? How great is this gonna be? 47 00:02:23,293 --> 00:02:25,527 We'll invite all our friends, our family, 48 00:02:25,595 --> 00:02:28,430 we'll get it catered, we'll have someone playing the flute. 49 00:02:28,498 --> 00:02:29,778 Hey, I can finally get my monkey. 50 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,686 What's that, baby? 51 00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:36,081 Remember at our wedding, I always wanted to have 52 00:02:36,105 --> 00:02:37,149 a monkey walk down the aisle 53 00:02:37,173 --> 00:02:39,140 and hand me the ring. 54 00:02:39,208 --> 00:02:41,660 Yeah. Yeah! 55 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:44,963 No reason you can't have your monkey this time. 56 00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:47,132 Sweet. 57 00:02:50,586 --> 00:02:53,588 Darling, allow me to hearken you back 58 00:02:53,657 --> 00:02:55,791 to a bleak December day 59 00:02:55,859 --> 00:02:57,526 in the midst of world war ii 60 00:02:57,593 --> 00:03:00,429 when a young Arthur Spooner saved the life 61 00:03:00,497 --> 00:03:03,631 of a fellow soldier named Rusty bubbico. 62 00:03:03,699 --> 00:03:06,234 Ok, is this a random hearkening, 63 00:03:06,302 --> 00:03:08,036 or are you going somewhere with this? 64 00:03:08,103 --> 00:03:09,788 Ok, I'm going somewhere. 65 00:03:09,855 --> 00:03:11,473 Ok. 66 00:03:11,541 --> 00:03:15,911 We visited the red light district one night, 67 00:03:15,979 --> 00:03:20,015 and I fronted him a prophylactic. 68 00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:22,985 Gonorrhea was the flavor of the month back then. 69 00:03:23,053 --> 00:03:25,204 So it's a love story. 70 00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:27,489 Heh heh! It is now. 71 00:03:27,557 --> 00:03:29,424 He gave me a fine bottle of port wine 72 00:03:29,492 --> 00:03:31,293 as his way of saying thanks. 73 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,028 I've been saving it all these years, 74 00:03:33,096 --> 00:03:34,406 and I've decided to give it to you two 75 00:03:34,430 --> 00:03:36,398 on the day you renew your vows. 76 00:03:36,465 --> 00:03:39,250 Oh! That's very generous. Thank you, dad. 77 00:03:39,318 --> 00:03:41,135 My pleasure, darling. 78 00:03:42,538 --> 00:03:44,590 Ok, ma, well, it's 3 weeks from today, 79 00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:46,825 so you better start working on a flight out. 80 00:03:46,892 --> 00:03:49,394 We will. Joe, we should use our Miles. 81 00:03:49,461 --> 00:03:51,039 I'm sure that weekend will be blacked out. 82 00:03:51,063 --> 00:03:52,340 They always black out the weekends 83 00:03:52,364 --> 00:03:54,132 we want to use the Miles. 84 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,867 We'll be there with bells on, darling. 85 00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:57,068 Like that yogurt place. 86 00:03:57,136 --> 00:03:58,921 They stopped taking those punch cards 87 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,738 just before I was due for my free cone. 88 00:04:00,806 --> 00:04:02,140 It's all a scam. 89 00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:04,142 Yeah, I'm sure that the yogurt place 90 00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:05,610 and the airlines are in cahoots. 91 00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:06,812 Focus, ma. Ok? 92 00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:08,056 You got your whole life to talk to him. 93 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,165 Sorry, dear. Listen, don't forget 94 00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:12,400 to invite our friends Smitty and Jules. 95 00:04:12,468 --> 00:04:15,236 I don't even know who they are. 96 00:04:15,304 --> 00:04:16,972 You know Smitty and Jules. 97 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,423 Ok, not only don't I know them, 98 00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:19,535 I don't even know which one's the man 99 00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:21,593 and which one's the woman. 100 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:23,846 I'll tell them to expect an invitation. 101 00:04:23,913 --> 00:04:25,341 Ok, fine, ma. All right, I'll talk to you later. 102 00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:26,832 I gotta go. Ok, bye-bye, sweetheart. 103 00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:28,834 All right, bye. 104 00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:32,404 Now back to the important stuff-finding us a monkey. 105 00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:34,990 Monkey, monkey, monkey. 106 00:04:35,058 --> 00:04:37,943 "Mirrors, money orders, monograms, mufflers." 107 00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:39,077 Where's "monkey"? 108 00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:41,613 How does monkey not have, like, 2 full pages? 109 00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:45,417 Yeah, Doug, about the whole monkey thing, 110 00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:47,519 I was just thinking that, you know, 111 00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:50,255 maybe a vow renewal monkey is a waste. 112 00:04:50,322 --> 00:04:52,133 You know, maybe we should save it for something 113 00:04:52,157 --> 00:04:53,291 a little bit more festive, 114 00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:54,760 like a cinco de Mayo monkey. 115 00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:56,895 You know, get him a sombrero, 116 00:04:56,962 --> 00:04:58,830 a little cap gun six-shooter. 117 00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:01,466 You know-pow! You know? 118 00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:03,546 Hmm. I don't know. I don't know if I feel comfortable 119 00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:04,703 degrading a monkey that way. 120 00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:07,439 Let's-let's just stick with the plan. 121 00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:09,107 Ok. 122 00:05:16,866 --> 00:05:19,935 It's open. 123 00:05:20,002 --> 00:05:22,971 Arthur, you know you shouldn't leave the door unlocked like that. 124 00:05:23,038 --> 00:05:26,608 I mean, any freak can just walk in off the street. 125 00:05:28,427 --> 00:05:29,444 Oh, very funny. 126 00:05:29,512 --> 00:05:32,647 Um, I'm returning Carrie's copy of the hours. 127 00:05:32,715 --> 00:05:35,818 Let her know I thought it was haunting. 128 00:05:35,885 --> 00:05:38,020 What have you got there? 129 00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:39,887 A bottle of port I'm giving to Doug and Carrie 130 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,224 for their vow renewal. It's my little way of saying 131 00:05:42,292 --> 00:05:44,092 how special they are to me. 132 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,529 A dug ah no novidade. This thing's worth a bundle. 133 00:05:47,596 --> 00:05:49,297 Really? Oh, sure. 134 00:05:49,365 --> 00:05:50,999 A member of my wine enthusiasts club 135 00:05:51,067 --> 00:05:53,601 bought one for over $1,200. 136 00:05:53,669 --> 00:05:55,470 Oh, my God! Yeah. 137 00:05:55,538 --> 00:05:58,740 You see, the reason it's so rare 138 00:05:58,808 --> 00:06:01,643 is that year there was an early frost, so the grape harvest- 139 00:06:01,711 --> 00:06:04,913 message received, stubby. 140 00:06:04,981 --> 00:06:07,082 Why are you so bent out of shape? 141 00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:08,166 Don't you get it? 142 00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:10,669 I promised to give this to Douglas and Carrie. 143 00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:14,005 Damn it. Why didn't I just make them another birdhouse? 144 00:06:21,046 --> 00:06:23,481 Wedding vow renewal, huh? 145 00:06:23,548 --> 00:06:25,249 What you plan on doing, 146 00:06:25,317 --> 00:06:27,952 you know, best man-wise? 147 00:06:28,019 --> 00:06:29,487 Is it gonna be Deacon again? 148 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:31,075 Because at your wedding, you picked him 149 00:06:31,106 --> 00:06:33,223 and, you know, not me, 150 00:06:33,291 --> 00:06:34,525 and not that I really cared, 151 00:06:34,593 --> 00:06:38,129 but it was... weird. 152 00:06:38,196 --> 00:06:41,415 Actually, you know what? I'm not going with a best man. 153 00:06:41,483 --> 00:06:42,884 Uh, hello! 154 00:06:42,951 --> 00:06:44,261 Someone has to hand you the wedding ring. 155 00:06:44,285 --> 00:06:45,285 It's tradition. 156 00:06:45,353 --> 00:06:48,155 Yeah. I'm having a monkey do that. 157 00:06:48,223 --> 00:06:49,757 What? 158 00:06:49,824 --> 00:06:51,102 Yeah, I was gonna go with a spider monkey, 159 00:06:51,126 --> 00:06:53,928 and then I decided you only get married again once, 160 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:55,763 so I'm going with a chimp. 161 00:06:55,830 --> 00:06:57,531 That's your Cadillac of monkeys. 162 00:06:57,599 --> 00:06:58,866 Wait a minute here. Hold on. 163 00:06:58,934 --> 00:07:01,502 I lost out on being best man... 164 00:07:01,570 --> 00:07:03,053 To a monkey? 165 00:07:03,121 --> 00:07:04,955 Not by much. 166 00:07:05,023 --> 00:07:07,275 I can't believe this. 167 00:07:07,342 --> 00:07:08,193 How can I help you? 168 00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:09,610 Oh, ok, uh, well, 169 00:07:09,677 --> 00:07:10,955 my wife and I, we're renewing our vows, 170 00:07:10,979 --> 00:07:13,848 and we need to rent some chairs and tables and stuff. 171 00:07:13,915 --> 00:07:15,416 Here's the date, there's the time. 172 00:07:15,484 --> 00:07:17,418 Now, do I need to leave you a deposit or you- 173 00:07:17,486 --> 00:07:18,636 first things first. 174 00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:21,238 What kind of chairs did you want? 175 00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:25,226 The kind you, uh, 176 00:07:25,294 --> 00:07:27,995 sit on. 177 00:07:28,063 --> 00:07:30,482 We offer 11 different styles. 178 00:07:30,549 --> 00:07:31,883 Flat back, arched, faux bamboo. 179 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:34,819 I'm obliged to also mention bean bag chairs, 180 00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:38,790 but I forbid you. Sit down and I'll go get our catalog. 181 00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:39,974 Ok. 182 00:07:43,312 --> 00:07:45,914 "The beastie boy"? 183 00:07:45,981 --> 00:07:47,515 Oh, that's my monkey guy. 184 00:07:49,084 --> 00:07:52,837 Hello. Hey! So we're good to go on the 18th? 185 00:07:54,673 --> 00:07:56,473 What? 186 00:07:56,541 --> 00:07:58,776 Ohh. Can't fleischman Toyota 187 00:07:58,844 --> 00:08:01,378 have their "going bananas" sale without him? 188 00:08:02,764 --> 00:08:05,166 Ok, fine. Um, so I guess we'll go 189 00:08:05,233 --> 00:08:08,402 with that spider monkey. 190 00:08:08,470 --> 00:08:11,339 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 191 00:08:11,406 --> 00:08:13,607 Ok, then. Thanks. 192 00:08:13,675 --> 00:08:15,510 I can't believe this. I can't get my monkey. 193 00:08:15,577 --> 00:08:17,512 Oh, can't you? 194 00:08:17,579 --> 00:08:19,881 Well, maybe I'm not available now. 195 00:08:19,948 --> 00:08:20,982 All right. 196 00:08:21,049 --> 00:08:22,884 No, no, I'll do it, I'll do it. 197 00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:30,057 Yes, hi. I'm looking for Maria ferraro, the flautist. 198 00:08:30,125 --> 00:08:31,809 This is she. The flautist. 199 00:08:31,877 --> 00:08:34,261 Hey, potay-to, pot ah-to, right? 200 00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:36,597 It's flautist. 201 00:08:36,665 --> 00:08:39,099 Right. Anyway, my husband and I were thinking 202 00:08:39,167 --> 00:08:41,402 about hiring you for our vow renewal, 203 00:08:41,470 --> 00:08:42,714 and I was just wondering if I could hear you 204 00:08:42,738 --> 00:08:44,104 play a little something. 205 00:08:44,172 --> 00:08:46,440 Well, the phone isn't really the best medium. 206 00:08:46,508 --> 00:08:50,111 Either flaut or get off the pot, ok? 207 00:08:54,282 --> 00:08:56,183 Uh, hello? Would you just hold on 208 00:08:56,251 --> 00:08:58,019 for one second, ok? 209 00:08:58,086 --> 00:09:00,954 Hello? Miss? Yoo-hoo! 210 00:09:02,357 --> 00:09:05,159 Be right back. Hello. 211 00:09:05,227 --> 00:09:07,361 Hi, darling. I was just thinking 212 00:09:07,429 --> 00:09:09,763 instead of that stodgy old port wine, 213 00:09:09,831 --> 00:09:11,598 how about if I float you a delightful bottle 214 00:09:11,666 --> 00:09:14,402 of peach schnapps? Nearly full. 215 00:09:14,469 --> 00:09:17,038 Well, dad, I kind of had my heart set 216 00:09:17,105 --> 00:09:18,572 on trying the port. 217 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,909 Uh-huh. What about if I throw in a canned ham? 218 00:09:23,278 --> 00:09:26,280 All right, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later. Hello? 219 00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:28,182 Hey, I need you to decide on a table. 220 00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,451 They have round, oval, square, rectangle, 221 00:09:30,519 --> 00:09:31,985 one in that stop-sign shape- 222 00:09:32,054 --> 00:09:33,365 I'm on the other line right now, honey. 223 00:09:33,389 --> 00:09:34,972 Listen, I am very close to blacking out. 224 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,057 Please pick a shape. 225 00:09:37,125 --> 00:09:38,653 I am on the other line with the flute lady. 226 00:09:38,677 --> 00:09:39,821 Wait a second. No, I gotta go. 227 00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:41,779 I'll talk to you at home. Ok, bye. 228 00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:44,916 That sounded great. 229 00:09:46,318 --> 00:09:50,254 Hello? You still there? 230 00:09:50,322 --> 00:09:52,857 Where are you? 231 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,059 I think the more appropriate question 232 00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:57,862 is where were you? 233 00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:00,331 Oh, um, I'm sorry. See, what happened was- 234 00:10:06,955 --> 00:10:08,922 ugh! This party! 235 00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:10,558 Are all flautists bitches? 236 00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,626 Because I know 3 of them are. 237 00:10:12,694 --> 00:10:15,229 And the bakery won't deliver to the bluff, 238 00:10:15,297 --> 00:10:17,231 so we gotta drive 25 Miles 239 00:10:17,299 --> 00:10:20,101 with a 4-foot-high cake strapped to our hood. 240 00:10:20,168 --> 00:10:22,136 And port-a-potties are a fortune. 241 00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:23,948 Can't we just tell everybody on the invitation 242 00:10:23,972 --> 00:10:27,174 to come having peed? 243 00:10:27,242 --> 00:10:28,875 What's the matter with you? 244 00:10:28,943 --> 00:10:31,262 Mr. bongo's a whore. 245 00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:32,613 What? 246 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:34,615 He blew us off because he got a job 247 00:10:34,683 --> 00:10:37,585 working a Toyota dealership with Phil Simms. 248 00:10:37,653 --> 00:10:39,720 Oh, I'm sorry, baby. 249 00:10:42,056 --> 00:10:43,090 Who would've thought 250 00:10:43,158 --> 00:10:44,569 that a beautiful thing like a vow renewal 251 00:10:44,593 --> 00:10:46,761 would be such a pain in the ass? 252 00:10:46,828 --> 00:10:48,262 I know. 253 00:10:48,330 --> 00:10:50,798 But you're still into it, right? 254 00:10:50,865 --> 00:10:52,333 Yeah. 255 00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:53,501 I mean, if you are. 256 00:10:53,568 --> 00:10:56,403 No, I am. 257 00:10:56,471 --> 00:10:58,873 I'd be willing not to, though, if you- 258 00:10:58,940 --> 00:10:59,623 ok. Really? 259 00:10:59,691 --> 00:11:01,526 Yeah. Oh, my God! 260 00:11:01,593 --> 00:11:05,179 I am so relieved! We are killing ourselves here. 261 00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,897 Yes! 262 00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:08,392 Oh, I'm so happy we're not doing this. 263 00:11:08,416 --> 00:11:09,683 What were we thinking? 264 00:11:09,751 --> 00:11:10,862 I know! I mean, we already did our vows. 265 00:11:10,886 --> 00:11:11,919 We said them once. 266 00:11:11,987 --> 00:11:13,465 They never go bad. They're like twinkies. 267 00:11:13,489 --> 00:11:14,755 Right! 268 00:11:14,823 --> 00:11:15,706 Hey, kids, don't mind me. 269 00:11:15,774 --> 00:11:17,425 Just dropping off some literature. 270 00:11:17,492 --> 00:11:19,493 Apparently, they found a link between port wine 271 00:11:19,561 --> 00:11:22,096 and irritable bowel syndrome. 272 00:11:22,164 --> 00:11:23,564 Oh, that's ok, dad. 273 00:11:23,631 --> 00:11:25,466 We decided not to renew our vows. 274 00:11:25,533 --> 00:11:29,036 Oh, well, that's too bad. 275 00:11:29,104 --> 00:11:31,189 Hot dog! 276 00:11:34,776 --> 00:11:36,177 Hello. 277 00:11:36,244 --> 00:11:38,312 Dougie, it's mom. Hey, ma. 278 00:11:38,379 --> 00:11:40,498 I just wanted you to know Smitty is diabetic 279 00:11:40,565 --> 00:11:41,709 and is wondering if you're gonna have 280 00:11:41,733 --> 00:11:44,034 splenda packets on the table. 281 00:11:44,102 --> 00:11:46,487 Oh, well, you can tell him... 282 00:11:46,555 --> 00:11:48,121 Or her not to worry 283 00:11:48,190 --> 00:11:49,923 because we're calling the whole thing off. 284 00:11:49,991 --> 00:11:51,225 What? 285 00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:52,009 Yeah, you know what? 286 00:11:52,077 --> 00:11:53,104 It just turned into a huge pain, 287 00:11:53,128 --> 00:11:54,995 and we just decided to bag it. 288 00:11:55,063 --> 00:11:57,832 Oh. I see. 289 00:12:00,035 --> 00:12:02,736 Well, I'll tell Smitty, and, uh, 290 00:12:02,804 --> 00:12:05,039 that's that, then. 291 00:12:05,106 --> 00:12:06,507 Ok, ma, then say hi to dad, 292 00:12:06,574 --> 00:12:07,708 and I'll talk to you soon. 293 00:12:07,775 --> 00:12:09,810 Good-bye, sweetheart. Bye. 294 00:12:09,878 --> 00:12:12,813 Joe! The kids are in trouble! 295 00:12:16,952 --> 00:12:18,736 Hey, Carrie. 296 00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:21,372 I need you to 3-hole-punch this set of papers, 297 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,041 and 2-hole-punch this set, 298 00:12:23,108 --> 00:12:25,543 and remember to save those little circles- 299 00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:27,311 for new year's Eve confetti. I know. 300 00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,446 Ok. You're the best. 301 00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:33,051 Oh, by the way, I'm coming solo to your vow renewal. 302 00:12:33,118 --> 00:12:34,184 I figure romantic setting, 303 00:12:34,252 --> 00:12:35,953 why bring an old cow along 304 00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:39,223 when there are new calves for the lassoing? 305 00:12:39,290 --> 00:12:42,359 You didn't hear? We canceled the whole thing. 306 00:12:42,427 --> 00:12:44,946 Oh. Sorry. That's too bad. 307 00:12:45,013 --> 00:12:48,215 Oh, no, no. It's ok. It just became a hassle. 308 00:12:48,283 --> 00:12:50,901 A hassle. Mm-hmm. 309 00:12:52,437 --> 00:12:53,671 You know, Carrie, 310 00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:57,175 we have a policy for what we call crisis leave. 311 00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:58,609 Yeah, no, I know. 312 00:12:58,677 --> 00:13:02,480 I remember from when you took yours. 313 00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:03,992 But, no, we're fine. Doug and I are great. 314 00:13:04,016 --> 00:13:05,816 We've never been better. 315 00:13:05,884 --> 00:13:07,868 Right. 316 00:13:15,477 --> 00:13:18,997 Hey, kiddo. I just heard you called things off. 317 00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:20,798 You ok? 318 00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:26,570 Yeah? 319 00:13:28,339 --> 00:13:29,941 Talk to me, guy. 320 00:13:30,008 --> 00:13:31,308 Excuse me? 321 00:13:31,376 --> 00:13:32,426 Talk to me. 322 00:13:32,494 --> 00:13:33,727 About what? 323 00:13:33,796 --> 00:13:36,764 Talk... to... me. 324 00:13:36,832 --> 00:13:38,499 Hey! 325 00:13:38,566 --> 00:13:41,352 Look, I heard you were canceling your vows. 326 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:44,588 I - I had no idea things were this bad with you two. 327 00:13:44,656 --> 00:13:45,984 It's not bad. What are you talking about? 328 00:13:46,008 --> 00:13:47,775 It just became a big pain, that's all. 329 00:13:47,843 --> 00:13:50,461 Hey, when I accepted 330 00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:52,530 your invitation to be your best man, 331 00:13:52,597 --> 00:13:55,666 I didn't just sign up for the good times. 332 00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:57,802 I consider it a responsibility, 333 00:13:57,869 --> 00:14:00,638 and I take it very seriously. 334 00:14:00,705 --> 00:14:02,323 You were supposed to be a monkey. 335 00:14:04,492 --> 00:14:06,110 Easy. 336 00:14:06,177 --> 00:14:08,212 It's me here. 337 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:11,466 Take off the mask. 338 00:14:11,533 --> 00:14:14,052 Let me see your face. 339 00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:15,513 Ok, you know what? You're right. You're right, man. 340 00:14:15,537 --> 00:14:17,372 We should talk, but, uh, 341 00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:18,649 I'll tell you what. These walls have ears, 342 00:14:18,673 --> 00:14:19,717 so let's go outside and do it out there. 343 00:14:19,741 --> 00:14:20,741 Oh, good call, buddy. 344 00:14:20,809 --> 00:14:21,742 Yeah, totally. 345 00:14:21,810 --> 00:14:23,978 Ahem. Ok. 346 00:14:29,567 --> 00:14:31,168 So has anybody bought my port? 347 00:14:31,236 --> 00:14:32,569 We don't know yet, ok? 348 00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:33,681 This is an on-line auction. 349 00:14:33,705 --> 00:14:35,439 It could go on for days. 350 00:14:35,507 --> 00:14:37,392 Well, I can't sit here for days. 351 00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:39,376 I mean, the next 2 are fine, but on Thursday, 352 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,679 I'm sampling food at costco with Mickey. 353 00:14:43,498 --> 00:14:46,734 The current bid is... 354 00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:49,570 $1,350! 355 00:14:49,637 --> 00:14:51,405 Mamaloshen! 356 00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:57,244 Ohh. Hey, guys. What are you doing on my computer? 357 00:14:57,312 --> 00:14:58,845 Oh, just, uh... 358 00:14:58,913 --> 00:15:01,899 Looking at pornography, sweetheart. 359 00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,868 Well, good luck with that. 360 00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:05,670 Thank you. 361 00:15:06,871 --> 00:15:10,808 Supermarket knockoff advil now! 362 00:15:10,875 --> 00:15:12,142 What's wrong with you? 363 00:15:12,210 --> 00:15:13,678 Oh, work was crazy. 364 00:15:13,745 --> 00:15:15,590 I mean, ever since we canceled renewing our vows, 365 00:15:15,614 --> 00:15:17,294 everyone thinks our marriage is in trouble. 366 00:15:17,349 --> 00:15:19,333 They were all like, "are you ok?" 367 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:20,885 We're here for you, sweetie." 368 00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:23,621 It's so freakin' annoying. 369 00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:25,657 I got the same thing from Danny, 370 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:28,993 and the chair guy invited me out for Sushi. 371 00:15:31,112 --> 00:15:33,163 You know what? Let the machine get it. 372 00:15:33,231 --> 00:15:35,633 It's probably just Danny reminding me hugs are free. 373 00:15:37,435 --> 00:15:39,436 Dougie, it's your mother. 374 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,723 I'm gonna try and say this without crying. 375 00:15:42,791 --> 00:15:46,644 Every marriage has its potholes... 376 00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:50,398 Oh, God. It's spread to Florida. 377 00:15:50,465 --> 00:15:54,168 And marriage can be a long and wonderful winding road. 378 00:15:54,235 --> 00:15:55,035 All right, you know what? 379 00:15:55,103 --> 00:15:56,231 Should we just go through with this 380 00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:58,422 to stop this madness? 381 00:15:58,490 --> 00:15:59,089 What, are you crazy? We're not gonna do it 382 00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:01,075 just to prove something to people. 383 00:16:01,143 --> 00:16:03,460 Doug, I can't live like this anymore! 384 00:16:03,528 --> 00:16:05,279 And when trouble comes into that home- 385 00:16:05,347 --> 00:16:07,582 oh, for the love of Pete! Will you leave them alone? 386 00:16:07,649 --> 00:16:09,550 Go back to your program, Joe! 387 00:16:09,618 --> 00:16:12,553 This is a private conversation. 388 00:16:12,621 --> 00:16:15,572 When you have trouble, 389 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,908 all you need to get through it is faith in each other 390 00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:19,177 and in God. 391 00:16:19,244 --> 00:16:22,213 Oh, great. Now she's got God in the middle of this. 392 00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:24,865 That's a lot of firepower. 393 00:16:24,932 --> 00:16:27,218 All right, all right, we'll do it! 394 00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:30,053 Ma, ma, yeah. Don't worry. 395 00:16:30,121 --> 00:16:33,257 You know what? We're gonna renew the vows. 396 00:16:33,324 --> 00:16:35,292 Well, I'm glad you're happy. 397 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,746 Ok. Bye. 398 00:16:38,814 --> 00:16:41,198 That's a kick in the oblongs. 399 00:16:44,553 --> 00:16:47,004 And it's because of the love that you two share 400 00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,889 that you've chosen to come together 401 00:16:48,957 --> 00:16:52,326 at this blessed renewal of your wedding vows. 402 00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:58,449 Am I correct? 403 00:16:59,667 --> 00:17:02,636 Oh. Yeah, yeah. Beautiful thing, beautiful. 404 00:17:02,704 --> 00:17:06,373 Well, now, are you planning on writing your own vows? 405 00:17:06,441 --> 00:17:07,891 Gotta be honest with you, father. 406 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,162 Whatever you got handy is fine. 407 00:17:11,229 --> 00:17:12,640 Yeah, we'll just take the standard vows, 408 00:17:12,664 --> 00:17:15,866 and we'll fill in all the personal stuff, like mad libs. 409 00:17:17,051 --> 00:17:19,186 Uh, Doug, uh, Carrie, 410 00:17:19,254 --> 00:17:22,356 you do realize this is a vow renewal. 411 00:17:22,424 --> 00:17:24,558 You don't have to do this. 412 00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,227 Oh, no, no, no, we have to do this. 413 00:17:26,294 --> 00:17:28,529 Yeah, because everyone we know is all over us 414 00:17:28,596 --> 00:17:30,864 because of her great idea. 415 00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:35,068 You're not trying to blame me for this, are you? 416 00:17:35,136 --> 00:17:36,264 All I'm saying is if you hadn't thought of it, 417 00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:38,232 my mom wouldn't be crying into our answering machine. 418 00:17:38,256 --> 00:17:39,357 Oh, please, would you? 419 00:17:39,424 --> 00:17:40,674 I'm gonna go get 420 00:17:40,742 --> 00:17:43,627 the affirmation of love pamphlet. 421 00:17:43,695 --> 00:17:45,930 First of all, the only reason why I thought of it 422 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,916 in the first place is because you were going on and on 423 00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:52,186 about how much "in love" you were with me at the restaurant. 424 00:17:52,254 --> 00:17:53,881 And the only reason I was saying I was "in love" 425 00:17:53,905 --> 00:17:55,405 with you is because you got me drunk 426 00:17:55,473 --> 00:17:57,441 and promised me a monkey. 427 00:17:57,508 --> 00:18:00,778 Oh, yeah, Doug, and that was a brilliant idea- 428 00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:02,646 take our sacred wedding vows 429 00:18:02,714 --> 00:18:04,582 and turn it into a Friggin' circus! 430 00:18:04,649 --> 00:18:06,517 I knew it. You've always hated my monkey! 431 00:18:06,584 --> 00:18:07,768 From the beginning! 432 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,586 Ya think? 433 00:18:09,654 --> 00:18:11,755 Doug, Carrie. 434 00:18:11,823 --> 00:18:16,560 I have a young, happy couple waiting right outside. 435 00:18:16,628 --> 00:18:17,511 Oh, sorry, father. 436 00:18:17,579 --> 00:18:19,497 We'll-we'll lower our voices. Yeah. 437 00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:22,966 I was wondering if you guys could, uh, just... 438 00:18:35,998 --> 00:18:37,748 She's 45 minutes late. 439 00:18:37,816 --> 00:18:39,149 I don't think she's coming. 440 00:18:39,217 --> 00:18:40,584 The girl's just a little late. 441 00:18:40,652 --> 00:18:43,086 Scatterbrained is all she is. 442 00:18:43,154 --> 00:18:46,056 I'm not so sure. Pray with me, Joe. 443 00:18:46,124 --> 00:18:48,158 She'll be here! 444 00:18:48,226 --> 00:18:51,796 You don't know that! 445 00:18:51,863 --> 00:18:52,730 Poor kid. 446 00:18:52,797 --> 00:18:54,309 You know, I saw the whole thing coming. 447 00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:57,468 Everyone did. She's been so stressed. 448 00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:59,237 I heard her yell at a flautist. 449 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,772 Yowch. 450 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,157 This is unbelievable. 451 00:19:03,224 --> 00:19:05,042 You all right, man? You need anything? 452 00:19:05,109 --> 00:19:06,377 Hey, step off, pal. 453 00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:09,613 I'm the best man. You had your chance. 454 00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:11,832 I was just gonna ask if he wanted another soda. 455 00:19:11,899 --> 00:19:13,911 Yeah, well, now I'm gonna ask him if he wants another soda. 456 00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:15,001 You want another soda? No. 457 00:19:15,069 --> 00:19:16,647 No. He said no. All right. Take a stroll, babe. 458 00:19:16,671 --> 00:19:17,938 Bye-bye! 459 00:19:19,757 --> 00:19:22,810 Well, folks, looks like Douglas has been left at the altar. 460 00:19:22,877 --> 00:19:25,913 Let's form an orderly line and walk away from the bluff, 461 00:19:25,981 --> 00:19:27,314 and any gifts you may have brought 462 00:19:27,382 --> 00:19:30,584 are obviously yours to keep. 463 00:19:30,652 --> 00:19:32,496 Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! I haven't been left at the altar! 464 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,322 Ok? Carrie will be here. 465 00:19:35,390 --> 00:19:37,758 Our relationship is fine! 466 00:19:37,826 --> 00:19:39,026 It's great! 467 00:19:40,628 --> 00:19:42,797 All right, look, it's not great. 468 00:19:42,864 --> 00:19:45,066 Ok, we're in a huge fight right now, 469 00:19:45,133 --> 00:19:47,835 and I'm sure that's why she's late. 470 00:19:47,903 --> 00:19:49,113 But the only reason we're in a big fight 471 00:19:49,137 --> 00:19:50,470 is because of all of you! 472 00:19:50,538 --> 00:19:53,007 That's right, you, mom, and dad 473 00:19:53,075 --> 00:19:54,875 and Danny and Smitty 474 00:19:54,942 --> 00:19:57,027 or Jules, whichever one you are, 475 00:19:57,095 --> 00:19:59,012 and girl from Carrie's office 476 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:00,742 whose name I just don't remember right now. 477 00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,399 Amy. Yeah, Amy! Wow! 478 00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:05,102 I was thinking Darla. I was way off. 479 00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:07,054 But the point is, this is all your fault, ok? 480 00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:09,439 So don't judge us. We didn't want to do this. 481 00:20:09,507 --> 00:20:11,375 We're just doing this for you. 482 00:20:11,442 --> 00:20:13,611 Joe, look! 483 00:20:17,949 --> 00:20:20,033 Oh, damn it. 484 00:20:31,846 --> 00:20:32,979 Sorry I'm late. 485 00:20:33,048 --> 00:20:35,715 I had to make a pit stop at fleischman Toyota. 486 00:20:35,783 --> 00:20:37,884 You brought my monkey. 487 00:20:37,952 --> 00:20:40,104 Here's the ring. 488 00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:43,974 And, uh, here's a toast I wrote. 489 00:20:47,462 --> 00:20:50,798 Listen, Doug, I heard everything you were saying to everyone, 490 00:20:50,866 --> 00:20:51,965 and I want to tell you 491 00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:54,502 that I'm not doing this for any of them. 492 00:20:54,569 --> 00:20:56,670 I'm doing this for us, 493 00:20:56,738 --> 00:20:58,456 'cause I love you 494 00:20:58,523 --> 00:21:01,125 very much. 495 00:21:01,192 --> 00:21:03,460 Now take the monkey, 'cause he smells. 496 00:21:07,131 --> 00:21:09,032 Friends, relatives, 497 00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:12,236 we are gathered here today 498 00:21:12,303 --> 00:21:15,740 for the blessed renewal of the wedding vows 499 00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:18,542 of Doug and Carrie. 500 00:21:30,670 --> 00:21:32,604 Son of a bitch.