1 00:00:11,777 --> 00:00:14,396 Doug, looking at your watch every 30 seconds 2 00:00:14,464 --> 00:00:17,699 is not gonna make the Chinese food come any faster. 3 00:00:20,903 --> 00:00:23,321 You hate that that just rang, don't you? 4 00:00:28,812 --> 00:00:30,412 You could not smell better. 5 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:32,280 All right, what's the damage? 6 00:00:32,348 --> 00:00:33,516 24.50. 7 00:00:33,583 --> 00:00:36,051 All right. 8 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,419 Carrie, can you get your purse? 9 00:00:37,486 --> 00:00:38,520 'Cause I'm out of cash. 10 00:00:38,587 --> 00:00:39,587 I don't have any cash. 11 00:00:39,639 --> 00:00:42,808 I thought you went to the ATM. 12 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,142 You, uh, take credit cards? 13 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,261 No. This is not happening. 14 00:00:46,329 --> 00:00:48,230 All right, you stay there. 15 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,032 Don't take her away. 16 00:00:53,336 --> 00:00:55,237 Uh, what are you doing? 17 00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:56,538 I'm lookin' for money. 18 00:00:56,606 --> 00:00:59,308 When was the last time you dropped 24.50 under the cushions? 19 00:00:59,375 --> 00:01:01,844 When is the last time you got off your ass and helped? 20 00:01:04,114 --> 00:01:05,947 Maybe he'll take something else, 21 00:01:06,016 --> 00:01:07,216 like a trade or something. 22 00:01:07,283 --> 00:01:09,334 That's a good idea. That's a good idea. 23 00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:10,469 All right. 24 00:01:18,511 --> 00:01:20,712 What are you doing? 25 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:22,180 Don't you worry what I'm doing. 26 00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:23,916 You just get the forks. 27 00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:25,567 Maybe you pay me next time. 28 00:01:25,635 --> 00:01:28,704 Oh. Ok. 29 00:01:31,374 --> 00:01:32,541 Thanks. 30 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:41,133 I knew Chinese food way before I knew you. 31 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:23,814 Doug, did you notice that we have 32 00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:26,895 4 bottles of shampoo in the shower that are all empty? 33 00:02:26,963 --> 00:02:28,087 Yeah, I saw that. 34 00:02:28,112 --> 00:02:30,891 If you saw that, how come you didn't throw them away? 35 00:02:30,916 --> 00:02:32,501 Uh, 'cause I wanted to give you the chance to see 'em 36 00:02:32,525 --> 00:02:35,971 so we could have this fun conversation. 37 00:02:36,038 --> 00:02:37,328 Just take them to the recycler, ok? 38 00:02:37,352 --> 00:02:39,831 Take the garbage out, too. 39 00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:42,378 I got a sharp pain in my side this morning. 40 00:02:42,446 --> 00:02:44,347 I must have pulled something last night. 41 00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:45,881 I told you, it's killing me. 42 00:02:45,949 --> 00:02:48,584 Ok, Doug, do you really want to play this card 43 00:02:48,653 --> 00:02:51,387 to get out of a 4-foot walk to the garbage can? 44 00:02:51,455 --> 00:02:53,223 'Cause there's a cat show coming up- 45 00:02:53,290 --> 00:02:54,624 Ok! All right! 46 00:03:01,065 --> 00:03:03,233 Ahhh, it's hurting. 47 00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:06,069 I'm feelin' it. I'm feelin' it. 48 00:03:11,808 --> 00:03:13,510 Oh, God! 49 00:03:17,713 --> 00:03:20,249 Ok, Doug, lying in garbage, 50 00:03:20,316 --> 00:03:21,750 that's real mature. 51 00:03:21,817 --> 00:03:24,186 Oh, I like the tuna can hat. 52 00:03:24,254 --> 00:03:25,654 That's a good look. 53 00:03:25,721 --> 00:03:27,706 Now get up, Doug. 54 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,292 Doug? 55 00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,783 Dr. Garcia, how is he? 56 00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,919 He's gonna be fine. 57 00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:41,289 Luckily his appendix hadn't burst yet, 58 00:03:41,313 --> 00:03:42,553 and we got it out just in time. 59 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:43,856 Oh, thank God. 60 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,057 Listen, he wanted me 61 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,335 to bring it home for him in a jar. 62 00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:48,160 If that's a problem, 63 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,305 you could just put a radish in there. 64 00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:50,996 He won't know the difference. 65 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,842 Anyway, I'm just gonna need him back here next week 66 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,266 to take the stitches out. 67 00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:55,834 Ok. Can I see him? 68 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,012 Sure. He's probably still sleeping 69 00:03:57,036 --> 00:03:58,036 the anesthesia off. 70 00:03:58,070 --> 00:04:00,672 If you need anything, just buzz Candace. 71 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,374 Ok. Thank you. 72 00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:06,779 Doug? 73 00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:08,196 Sweetie? 74 00:04:13,636 --> 00:04:17,005 The doctor said you're gonna be fine, honey. 75 00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:20,909 I feel awful about this. 76 00:04:20,977 --> 00:04:23,779 I know I should have believed you 77 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,024 when you said you were in pain. 78 00:04:25,048 --> 00:04:28,283 It's just that... You lie to me so much. 79 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,956 Will you ever forgive me? 80 00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:35,591 Yeah... 81 00:04:35,658 --> 00:04:37,893 Candace. 82 00:04:37,961 --> 00:04:39,411 Candace the nurse? 83 00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:40,890 Honey, you want me to get the nurse for you? 84 00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:42,998 So hot, Candace. 85 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,217 Doug, it's Carrie. 86 00:04:46,285 --> 00:04:47,469 Laura... 87 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:52,007 That's good, Inez. 88 00:04:52,075 --> 00:04:54,209 That tickles. 89 00:04:57,013 --> 00:04:58,931 Aw, come on, Jenna. 90 00:05:01,751 --> 00:05:03,818 Yeah... 91 00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:05,821 That's it, car... 92 00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:08,474 Come on, car... 93 00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:11,110 roline. 94 00:05:13,463 --> 00:05:14,830 Ok. 95 00:05:20,169 --> 00:05:22,170 Carrie! 96 00:05:23,773 --> 00:05:25,574 Carrie, is lunch ready?! 97 00:05:25,642 --> 00:05:27,376 Sure, you know my name 98 00:05:27,444 --> 00:05:28,877 when you want food. 99 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:33,331 Oh, hi. 100 00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:34,699 Hi. 101 00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:36,318 This band-aid's been itching me. 102 00:05:36,386 --> 00:05:37,586 Let me get that for ya. 103 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,021 What are you doin?! 104 00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:41,233 Well, you were just pickin' at it 105 00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:42,274 like a little girl, ok? 106 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,625 It was annoying. 107 00:05:43,693 --> 00:05:44,559 You've been snapping at me all day. 108 00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:45,711 What's up? 109 00:05:45,778 --> 00:05:48,380 Why don't you ask Inez what's up? 110 00:05:49,532 --> 00:05:52,367 Inez? You mean the girl from lenscrafters? 111 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,903 You tell me. 112 00:05:54,971 --> 00:05:56,588 What are you talking about? 113 00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:59,174 Ok. Well, while you were in the hospital after the surgery, 114 00:05:59,242 --> 00:06:02,010 when you were sleeping, you were moaning all these girls' names. 115 00:06:02,078 --> 00:06:03,345 What? Yeah. 116 00:06:03,413 --> 00:06:04,763 "Oh, Candace! 117 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,464 "Oh, Inez! 118 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,167 Ooh, Tanya." 119 00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:10,052 Sickening. 120 00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:12,187 No, those weren't girls. 121 00:06:12,355 --> 00:06:14,990 I was having a dream where I was helping someone 122 00:06:15,058 --> 00:06:17,476 name a litter of puppies. 123 00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:28,587 Well, apparently 2 puppies named Britney and Christina 124 00:06:28,654 --> 00:06:31,490 were making out with you in a limo. 125 00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:35,644 That's 'cause I had treats in my pocket. 126 00:06:45,522 --> 00:06:47,256 I- fine. Look, 127 00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:48,900 maybe I was having some kind of crazy dream, 128 00:06:48,924 --> 00:06:50,942 but you-you know I love you! 129 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,644 You know I'm totally attracted to you. 130 00:06:52,712 --> 00:06:54,980 It's just, like any guy, 131 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:57,316 once in a while a... 132 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,618 Image of another woman just pops into my head, 133 00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:01,086 for, like, a second! 134 00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:04,640 But you're m'lady. You're m'hon-ay. 135 00:07:04,707 --> 00:07:05,758 Oh, that's funny, 136 00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:09,161 'cause your hon-ay's name didn't come up. 137 00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:11,974 Yeah. There was a car... 138 00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:13,115 Roline... 139 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,417 And, uh, a car... 140 00:07:15,485 --> 00:07:17,002 Washgirl, 141 00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,021 but no "Carrie." 142 00:07:19,088 --> 00:07:22,407 That's 'cause I don't need to fantasize about you, ok? 143 00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:23,893 You're the living fantasy 144 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:24,859 that I'm honored to share my- 145 00:07:24,927 --> 00:07:26,444 oh, would you shut up? 146 00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:29,264 Look, I know it's normal, ok? But, I mean, 147 00:07:29,332 --> 00:07:31,427 there I was in the hospital room feeling sorry for you, 148 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,300 and the next thing I know, 149 00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:34,186 you're fantasizing about cheating on me 150 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,920 with all these skanks! 151 00:07:35,988 --> 00:07:37,389 It hurts! 152 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,707 I wasn't cheating, ok? 153 00:07:38,775 --> 00:07:40,442 Doug, we're married, ok? 154 00:07:40,510 --> 00:07:43,261 I'm your wife, and you're doing stuff in your head with them. 155 00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:45,080 How is that not cheating? 156 00:07:45,148 --> 00:07:47,950 It's just not. How? 157 00:07:48,017 --> 00:07:49,451 You're not... 158 00:07:49,519 --> 00:07:50,669 There. 159 00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:52,130 I'm not there. What, I'm not in the room? 160 00:07:52,154 --> 00:07:54,189 I'm not in the country, what? 161 00:07:54,257 --> 00:07:56,325 You're not... 162 00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,093 Alive. 163 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,647 Ok, so let me get this straight. 164 00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:04,999 In your fantasies, 165 00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:07,452 you kill me? 166 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,838 No. No, I don't. 167 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,157 It's the rare disease that kills you. 168 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,645 Or the bolt of lightning. 169 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,263 Definitely not me. 170 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,265 Ow! That wasn't ready to come off yet! 171 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,534 I can't believe what I'm hearing here! 172 00:08:22,601 --> 00:08:23,702 Let me explain, ok? 173 00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:24,903 Please, Doug. Explain to me 174 00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:27,489 why I shouldn't be upset that you want me dead! 175 00:08:27,556 --> 00:08:28,784 Look, I don't want you dead, all right? 176 00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:30,626 You got it all wrong. I mean... 177 00:08:30,693 --> 00:08:32,360 The truth is, 178 00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:34,396 I love you so much 179 00:08:34,463 --> 00:08:37,899 that I could never even imagine cheating on you, 180 00:08:37,968 --> 00:08:39,745 so the only way I can have any fantasies at all 181 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,553 is if you're... 182 00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:43,021 Up there. 183 00:08:47,977 --> 00:08:50,829 So to avoid the guilt of adultery, 184 00:08:50,896 --> 00:08:52,764 you choose murder? 185 00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:54,783 Again, not murder. 186 00:08:54,851 --> 00:08:56,568 In my fantasies, 187 00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:59,437 you're always taken from me tragically. 188 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,585 I'm devastated. 189 00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:05,644 I give myself 2 years to grieve. 190 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:06,762 After that, 191 00:09:06,830 --> 00:09:09,631 even your friends are like, "you gotta move on." 192 00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:13,802 And would one of those friends be Lisa, 193 00:09:13,869 --> 00:09:15,904 my friend you're always checking out? 194 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,708 She may be one of those consoling me, yes. 195 00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:22,093 And do you end up sleeping with her? 196 00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,213 God sakes, it's been 2 years! 197 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,131 Oh, my God! Ok. 198 00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:27,532 So what I'm getting here 199 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,200 is I'm electrocuted 200 00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,886 and you're boffing my friends. 201 00:09:30,953 --> 00:09:32,264 No, no, it's usually not your friends! 202 00:09:32,288 --> 00:09:33,989 That's not typical at all. 203 00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:35,357 What is typical, Doug? Ohh! 204 00:09:35,424 --> 00:09:36,875 Do you really wanna open this box? 205 00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:38,877 Yes, I think I do. 206 00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:40,312 All right, fine. 207 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,114 Like... 208 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,333 I'm in the park, 209 00:09:44,401 --> 00:09:45,734 grieving... 210 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,770 Just trying to heal, 211 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,972 trying to quiet the endless scream 212 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,725 in my soul... 213 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:56,628 When a chick in a sports bra comes over to me. 214 00:09:58,614 --> 00:10:00,332 Uh-huh. But it's innocent, you know? 215 00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:01,449 We just start talking, 216 00:10:01,551 --> 00:10:02,951 and then I introduce her to Bobby. 217 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:05,220 Who's Bobby? He's our son. 218 00:10:05,287 --> 00:10:06,588 We have a son?! 219 00:10:06,655 --> 00:10:07,899 He's the part of you that lives on. 220 00:10:07,923 --> 00:10:09,524 All right, I don't wanna hear any more. 221 00:10:09,592 --> 00:10:11,419 Wait! You know what? There's a lot of judging me here. 222 00:10:11,443 --> 00:10:12,644 What about you? 223 00:10:12,711 --> 00:10:14,830 You know, you fantasize about other men, right? 224 00:10:14,897 --> 00:10:17,683 Yeah, occasionally. I'm definitely gonna step it up now! 225 00:10:19,469 --> 00:10:21,803 I'm serious. Like, when you and Keanu 226 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,555 are getting it on, where am I? 227 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,889 What do you do with me? 228 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,108 You're around! 229 00:10:26,176 --> 00:10:27,225 I'm just cheating on you. 230 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,262 I'm not pushing you down a flight of stairs! 231 00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:31,489 I don't push you down stairs! 232 00:10:32,081 --> 00:10:35,250 You trip on Bobby's skateboard! 233 00:10:35,317 --> 00:10:36,869 Oh, bite me! 234 00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:39,604 Well, I certainly see where he gets his mouth from! 235 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,219 What are these? 236 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:57,756 These are the sex fantasies you're allowed to have. 237 00:11:04,690 --> 00:11:05,898 You... 238 00:11:05,923 --> 00:11:08,951 Wrote fantasies for me? Yeah. 239 00:11:09,018 --> 00:11:11,269 Look, I know I got upset last night, ok? 240 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,905 People fantasize. I get it, 241 00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:14,372 but I just... 242 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,307 Can't let you kill me anymore. 243 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,177 It's just not right. 244 00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:20,178 That doesn't mean 245 00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:21,580 you can write fantasies for me. 246 00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:23,782 You're my wife! So? 247 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,016 So? 248 00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:26,412 Do I let my cardiologist order for me 249 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,670 at der Wienerschnitzel? 250 00:11:28,738 --> 00:11:31,640 Well, Doug, I happen to have provided you 251 00:11:31,708 --> 00:11:33,358 with alternatives I think 252 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,993 are quite sensuous. 253 00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:36,911 Ok, see, "sensuous" 254 00:11:36,979 --> 00:11:40,115 is a red flag already, right there. 255 00:11:40,182 --> 00:11:41,717 Let's see what you got, though. 256 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:44,119 Oh, boy. 257 00:11:44,186 --> 00:11:46,655 "You are alone. 258 00:11:46,723 --> 00:11:48,523 "Carrie is away on a business trip 259 00:11:48,591 --> 00:11:50,676 for vogue magazine." 260 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:56,798 "You go to a florist to buy Carrie flowers. 261 00:11:56,866 --> 00:11:59,651 The florist reminds you of Carrie." 262 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:00,869 Ok, first note: 263 00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:03,572 Little too much Carrie. 264 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,556 All right, that was my first one. 265 00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,842 They get better. Keep going. 266 00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:08,877 "You follow a trail of rose petals 267 00:12:08,944 --> 00:12:10,980 to a canopied bed." 268 00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:17,435 "You ride a horse across a field..." 269 00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:31,416 Ok, I'm pretty sure this one was a Dharma and Greg. 270 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:32,534 Doug, come on! 271 00:12:32,569 --> 00:12:34,119 I worked hard on these, ok? 272 00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:35,854 The least you can do is have an open mind. 273 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,266 This is crazy! I mean, look at this! 274 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,041 I- I'm on a horse. 275 00:12:39,108 --> 00:12:40,576 I'm biking through wine country. 276 00:12:40,644 --> 00:12:42,244 Why I am so active? 277 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,516 Do you know in my own fantasies, 278 00:12:47,584 --> 00:12:50,085 I rarely get out of a chair? 279 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,806 Look, 280 00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:56,975 these are your fantasies now, ok? 281 00:12:57,043 --> 00:13:00,879 And you better start using them, 282 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:03,581 'cause if I find out I'm dead, 283 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:04,783 you're dead. 284 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,374 "You take her hand in yours 285 00:13:12,442 --> 00:13:16,845 "as the gondolier looks discreetly away. 286 00:13:16,912 --> 00:13:18,247 "You stroke her hair 287 00:13:18,314 --> 00:13:23,118 and she whispers, Amore." 288 00:13:23,186 --> 00:13:26,154 Damn! 289 00:13:27,757 --> 00:13:29,384 Oh, it gets better. I'm about to pick up a mandolin 290 00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:31,543 and start singing. 291 00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:32,527 Hey, if these Carrie fantasies 292 00:13:32,595 --> 00:13:34,312 aren't quite working for you, 293 00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,581 maybe you could have your mom fire off a few. 294 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:39,845 You guys are funny. Laugh it up, you know? 295 00:13:39,869 --> 00:13:41,146 But Carrie's making me do these. 296 00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:42,381 Making you? How's Carrie gonna know 297 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:43,582 what you're fantasizing about? 298 00:13:43,606 --> 00:13:44,673 She knows things, ok? 299 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,084 I mean, how did she know I was the one 300 00:13:46,108 --> 00:13:48,043 who got Russian dressing on our wedding album? 301 00:13:48,111 --> 00:13:52,231 I think a lot of people could've connected those dots. 302 00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:53,215 That's not even the point. All right? 303 00:13:53,282 --> 00:13:54,927 Look, Carrie's feelings were really hurt about this. 304 00:13:54,951 --> 00:13:56,986 I just can't blow her off. 305 00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:59,321 All right? I feel too guilty. 306 00:13:59,388 --> 00:14:01,323 Some of these aren't that bad. 307 00:14:01,390 --> 00:14:04,409 Hey, this one's got her nail girl Tina in it. 308 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:05,410 She's pretty hot. 309 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,312 All right. Good luck with that. 310 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:08,514 I'm gonna hit it. 311 00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,149 Yeah, me, too. 312 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:13,052 Hey, can I, uh, borrow this one? 313 00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:14,586 Which? 314 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:17,022 The one with, uh, Meredith Baxter-Birney. 315 00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:21,610 I'll get it back to you when I'm done. 316 00:14:21,678 --> 00:14:24,079 My gift to you. 317 00:14:24,147 --> 00:14:25,981 Thank you. 318 00:14:26,048 --> 00:14:27,359 Oh, and if anything with Judith light 319 00:14:27,383 --> 00:14:28,461 comes across your desk, uh, 320 00:14:28,485 --> 00:14:29,918 shoot it my way, will ya? 321 00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:33,755 All right, Tina, 322 00:14:33,823 --> 00:14:35,657 let's see what you got. 323 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,898 Oh, Doug, I'm glad you're here. 324 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,567 Can you pay Tina? 325 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:46,718 I'm meeting Donna karan. 326 00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:49,354 We're gonna play darts at Calvin klein's place. 327 00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:50,421 Oh. Sure. 328 00:14:50,506 --> 00:14:51,590 Great. Thanks. 329 00:14:53,043 --> 00:14:56,812 Oh, and I won't be back for a few hours. Ok? 330 00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:02,968 Whoops. I... 331 00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:04,636 Seem to have forgotten my wallet. I- 332 00:15:05,521 --> 00:15:07,105 I don't know how I'm gonna pay you. 333 00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:10,642 Well, that's very bad news. 334 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,812 Is there any other way 335 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,981 we could, uh, work this out? 336 00:15:17,901 --> 00:15:19,851 I'm sure we can think of something. 337 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:25,757 What's the matter? 338 00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:28,060 It's just... 339 00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:30,128 My wife. 340 00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:36,151 She said she won't be back for hours. 341 00:15:36,219 --> 00:15:37,535 Right. 342 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,159 Ohh, I-i can't-I-i-look, I-i- 343 00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:45,527 I just need a minute here. 344 00:15:53,235 --> 00:15:54,719 Oh, my God! What was that? 345 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,021 My wife. She's dead. 346 00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:57,555 Now where were we? 347 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:03,278 I thought you said you weren't going to kill me! 348 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,380 I didn't mean to! 349 00:16:05,448 --> 00:16:06,692 Well, you know what? We had a deal. 350 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,833 Now your little party's over, buddy. 351 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,735 Out. 352 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,004 Out! Look to me. Out. 353 00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,175 Who's back there? 354 00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:17,909 Nobody. 355 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,984 Who are they?! 356 00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:27,853 My friends? 357 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,021 These- 358 00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:30,648 these are the women you fantasize about. 359 00:16:30,673 --> 00:16:32,590 These are your regulars! 360 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,026 Actually, she's not a regular. 361 00:16:34,093 --> 00:16:36,128 I saw her on a billboard this morning. 362 00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:37,806 All right, well, you know what? Let's go, ladies. 363 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:38,897 Out. Let's go. 364 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,432 Party's over. Time to go. 365 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,468 Let's go, hee haw. 366 00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,790 Oh, uh-huh. Nice. Yeah. 367 00:16:48,858 --> 00:16:49,624 You, too, food court. 368 00:16:49,691 --> 00:16:51,776 I see ya. I see ya. 369 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,812 Uh-huh. Oh, there's sports bra. 370 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:54,946 That's nice, yeah. 371 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,048 Village people make a comeback? Ok. 372 00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:58,316 That's great. 373 00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:03,889 Is that one of your mom's friends? 374 00:17:05,808 --> 00:17:07,526 You're sick! 375 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:17,001 Get out of my brain. 376 00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:18,203 What are you talking about? 377 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,938 I tried one of your little fantasies. 378 00:17:20,005 --> 00:17:21,417 It didn't work, and now that you're in here, 379 00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:22,718 none of my old fantasies work either. 380 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,543 You chased everyone away! 381 00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:26,878 Look, I just don't want you to kill me. 382 00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:29,448 I don't think that's too much to ask! 383 00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:31,649 I am tired of apologizing for this. 384 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,385 Killing off your spouse in your fantasies 385 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:36,721 is the most natural, beautiful thing in the world! 386 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,723 Why can't you see that? 387 00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,491 Hey, Doug. How are those stitches doing? 388 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,227 Oh, they're, uh-they're good. 389 00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:44,046 He hasn't been biting at 'em, has he? 390 00:17:44,113 --> 00:17:46,030 No. 391 00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:48,299 Just a couple of minutes to get 'em out. 392 00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:51,570 And while you wait, you can enjoy a very old people magazine. 393 00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:54,038 Oh! Ok. 394 00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:55,106 Bye. 395 00:18:24,653 --> 00:18:26,438 Mrs. Heffernan? 396 00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:29,007 I'm afraid the stitch removal didn't go well. 397 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:31,876 What do you mean? 398 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,929 What I'm trying to say is... 399 00:18:33,996 --> 00:18:35,596 Your husband... 400 00:18:35,664 --> 00:18:37,249 He's dead. 401 00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:42,371 Honey! 402 00:18:42,438 --> 00:18:44,973 I loved you so much! 403 00:18:46,642 --> 00:18:48,142 A woman as beautiful as you 404 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,328 should not be crying. 405 00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:51,530 Why? 406 00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:53,331 What should I be doing? 407 00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:54,332 Dancing! 408 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,334 Uno, dos, très, cuatro! 409 00:20:02,101 --> 00:20:03,568 Carrie. 410 00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:04,636 Carrie! Huh? 411 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,271 Yes. I'm done. Everything's fine. 412 00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:09,641 Oh, well, that's great, sweetie! 413 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:10,642 "Sweetie"? 414 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,176 What's up with- 415 00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:13,412 you're not mad anymore? 416 00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:15,146 No. No, I was just sitting here 417 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,382 thinking about, uh, 418 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,467 how much I love you. 419 00:20:19,535 --> 00:20:21,068 Come on, let's go get some ice cream. 420 00:21:12,161 --> 00:21:13,346 Who are you? 421 00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:16,425 I'm Josephine. Your wife sent me. 422 00:21:18,178 --> 00:21:20,079 Doug Heffernan. Hi. 423 00:21:25,802 --> 00:21:27,986 Oh, what the hell.