1 00:00:11,343 --> 00:00:13,211 Where is the remote? 2 00:00:14,881 --> 00:00:17,315 Hey, remote! Come here, boy. 3 00:00:17,383 --> 00:00:19,350 No remote. Carrie! 4 00:00:19,418 --> 00:00:22,120 Where'd you put the remote?! 5 00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:25,824 Ah, here you are, you little scamp. 6 00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:28,694 Ahh. Yeah. 7 00:00:31,330 --> 00:00:33,331 Oh, no, no, no, no! 8 00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:44,219 Scratch just above my left buttock. 9 00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:48,941 Couple things- 10 00:01:49,008 --> 00:01:50,742 uh, you didn't say please, 11 00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,978 and I'd rather die. 12 00:01:53,045 --> 00:01:54,312 Damn it, 13 00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:56,731 this rash is torture, and it's in a spot 14 00:01:56,799 --> 00:01:58,833 I just can't reach. 15 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:02,754 Hey, hey, come on. Don't use that. 16 00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:04,206 I have to. It's the only utensil 17 00:02:04,273 --> 00:02:06,608 that feels remotely like human fingers. 18 00:02:06,675 --> 00:02:10,028 So... you've tried them all? 19 00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:12,914 At various times over the years, yes. 20 00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:30,215 Ok, sorry to keep bugging you, 21 00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:32,044 but what do you think of this outfit for my interview? 22 00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,401 Do we have a winner? 23 00:02:33,469 --> 00:02:35,354 It's nice, it's nice. But how about an outfit 24 00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:37,756 that shows off a little more... 25 00:02:37,823 --> 00:02:40,058 Boobage? 26 00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:41,320 Doug, come on. I want to get this job 27 00:02:41,344 --> 00:02:42,945 on my qualifications. And I'll tell you, 28 00:02:43,012 --> 00:02:45,814 I have a really good feeling about this one. 29 00:02:45,882 --> 00:02:47,749 You know, the head of the Dugan Group 30 00:02:47,817 --> 00:02:49,434 legal department called me personally 31 00:02:49,501 --> 00:02:50,435 to confirm the interview. 32 00:02:50,502 --> 00:02:52,170 He went on and on about my resume, 33 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,139 my letters of recommendation. 34 00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,141 I mean, he practically gave me the job 35 00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:57,408 on the phone. 36 00:02:57,476 --> 00:02:59,444 Yeah, but just to be safe... 37 00:03:02,798 --> 00:03:04,143 Darling, my friend Mickey just gave me the name 38 00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:06,068 of his dermatologist in stamford, Connecticut. 39 00:03:06,136 --> 00:03:08,303 Please take me there immediately. 40 00:03:08,371 --> 00:03:09,515 Dad, that couldn't be less possible. 41 00:03:09,539 --> 00:03:11,707 I have a job interview in 2 hours. 42 00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:13,508 I understand. 43 00:03:13,576 --> 00:03:16,762 Douglas, let's roll. 44 00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:18,006 I can't. I got the cable guy coming. 45 00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:20,115 If I miss him this time, I gotta wait another month. 46 00:03:20,183 --> 00:03:21,276 But my haunches are on fire. 47 00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:23,001 Does that mean nothing to you? 48 00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:25,621 All right, you know what, dad, 49 00:03:25,688 --> 00:03:27,799 Dr. mandelbaum's office is on the way to my interview. 50 00:03:27,823 --> 00:03:29,451 If you're that uncomfortable, I will drop you off 51 00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:31,793 and pick you up when I am done, ok? 52 00:03:31,861 --> 00:03:32,611 Why, so he can just give me some more 53 00:03:32,678 --> 00:03:35,130 of his overpriced ointment? No dice! 54 00:03:35,198 --> 00:03:38,099 I want to see Mickey's dermatologist. Mickey swears by him! 55 00:03:38,167 --> 00:03:39,735 Mickey has more spots on his face 56 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,970 than a cheetah, ok? 57 00:03:42,038 --> 00:03:43,438 It's mandelbaum or nobody. 58 00:03:43,506 --> 00:03:45,373 Now you've got 5 minutes to get dressed. 59 00:03:45,441 --> 00:03:46,725 Fine. 60 00:03:52,215 --> 00:03:54,316 Ms. Heffernan? Yes. 61 00:03:54,384 --> 00:03:55,528 Mr. hecht is just finishing up a call 62 00:03:55,552 --> 00:03:56,552 in the conference room. 63 00:03:56,619 --> 00:03:58,554 He'll be ready for you in a few moments. 64 00:03:58,621 --> 00:04:01,156 Ok. Thank you. 65 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,927 I have never been so angry! 66 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,712 Shh! Dad, what are you doing here? 67 00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:09,420 I told you to wait for me at mandelbaum's. 68 00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:10,726 I couldn't very well wait in the office 69 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,118 of a man I'm now suing, could I? What?! 70 00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,470 That charlatan took one little peek at my rash 71 00:04:15,538 --> 00:04:17,072 and told me to keep using the ointment. 72 00:04:17,139 --> 00:04:19,107 I grabbed my file out of his hands, 73 00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,108 kicked over his cactus, 74 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:21,876 and ran like the dickens! 75 00:04:22,712 --> 00:04:24,479 Ms. Heffernan? He's ready. 76 00:04:24,547 --> 00:04:25,614 Oh, ok. Thank you. 77 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,482 Young lady, which of your lawyers 78 00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:29,351 specializes in dermatology scams? 79 00:04:29,419 --> 00:04:30,919 Ha ha ha ha. He's kidding. 80 00:04:30,987 --> 00:04:34,255 Come on. Yeah. 81 00:04:34,323 --> 00:04:35,240 Now, you listen to me, you. 82 00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:37,109 Until my interview is over, you will sit there 83 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,378 and speak and make eye contact with no one. 84 00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:40,895 But I-no one! 85 00:04:40,963 --> 00:04:43,749 Now sit down. Sit. 86 00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:45,483 And stay. 87 00:04:48,905 --> 00:04:51,139 One of the differences between the way we operate 88 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:52,517 and what you might have been used to is that, 89 00:04:52,541 --> 00:04:55,243 since this a real estate development firm, 90 00:04:55,311 --> 00:04:56,421 the lawyers aren't running the show, 91 00:04:56,445 --> 00:04:57,545 unfortunately. 92 00:04:57,613 --> 00:04:58,913 Right, right. 93 00:04:58,981 --> 00:05:01,249 We could be going in one direction on a project, 94 00:05:01,317 --> 00:05:02,895 and then the development guys pull something 95 00:05:02,919 --> 00:05:04,686 and we have to do a 180 overnight. 96 00:05:04,754 --> 00:05:07,656 Well, actually, what I consider one of my strengths 97 00:05:07,723 --> 00:05:09,708 as an assistant is I keep my own 98 00:05:09,775 --> 00:05:12,411 cross-referenced files on all the... 99 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:16,498 Cases my boss is working on, 100 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:21,203 so if things change suddenly, I can, uh... 101 00:05:21,270 --> 00:05:23,238 You can what? 102 00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:27,792 So, often you might be called on 103 00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,494 to assist one of our senior attorneys 104 00:05:29,562 --> 00:05:32,331 at city hearings, negotiations, and so forth. 105 00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:34,493 Oh, well, that's very exciting news, because at my old firm 106 00:05:34,517 --> 00:05:36,551 there was really never an opportunity to- 107 00:05:42,191 --> 00:05:45,193 and I don't have any children, so if I'm required 108 00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:47,095 to stay late or go out of town, 109 00:05:47,163 --> 00:05:48,930 that doesn't really present a- 110 00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:51,332 a problem- 111 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,685 in-in the sense that I would give 112 00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:55,470 my total focus to- 113 00:05:55,538 --> 00:05:58,840 just one second. I'll be right back. 114 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,727 Excuse me. 115 00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:04,229 What are you doing? 116 00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:05,898 I told you not to talk to anybody. 117 00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:07,899 He asked me if I was being helped. 118 00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,700 Damn it, I have a lawsuit to file! 119 00:06:09,768 --> 00:06:12,437 Shh! Dad, these are real estate lawyers, ok? 120 00:06:12,504 --> 00:06:14,072 They don't represent lunatics 121 00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:15,606 who want to sue their dermatologist! 122 00:06:15,674 --> 00:06:17,476 They all moonlight. Grow up. Good sir- 123 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,161 no, dad, come here. Give me the file. 124 00:06:19,228 --> 00:06:20,628 Just stop and knock it off. 125 00:06:20,697 --> 00:06:21,797 Give it-no! No! 126 00:06:21,864 --> 00:06:23,531 What are you doing?! 127 00:06:27,252 --> 00:06:29,221 One more sec. 128 00:06:34,443 --> 00:06:36,978 It's funny. You know, I mean, 129 00:06:37,046 --> 00:06:39,180 ever since it went out, I... 130 00:06:39,248 --> 00:06:41,583 Keep walking by and grabbing for that remote 131 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,285 and flicking it on and... 132 00:06:44,353 --> 00:06:46,571 That static comes up. 133 00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:48,307 I keep doing it over and over again, 134 00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:50,208 you know, 'cause I forget. 135 00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:52,978 That's the thing with something like this. 136 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:56,715 You just forget. 137 00:06:56,782 --> 00:06:58,550 I've had it with him, Doug! I've just had it! 138 00:06:58,617 --> 00:07:01,019 What happened? 139 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,327 I had the job. I could feel it. 140 00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,656 All I had to do was get through the interview 141 00:07:04,723 --> 00:07:06,658 without acting like a mental patient. 142 00:07:06,725 --> 00:07:08,693 Well, guess who took care of that for me?! 143 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:09,961 Oh, please. I didn't come near 144 00:07:09,995 --> 00:07:11,196 her precious interview. 145 00:07:11,263 --> 00:07:13,332 I was conducting a private conversation, 146 00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:15,099 and she interrupted me! 147 00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,852 He showed a stranger his ass. 148 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,255 The top of my ass! 149 00:07:20,322 --> 00:07:21,757 Should I come back another time? 150 00:07:21,824 --> 00:07:22,674 No, no, no, no, no, no. 151 00:07:22,741 --> 00:07:24,092 This is just playful banter. 152 00:07:24,159 --> 00:07:25,594 So what happened with his ass? 153 00:07:25,661 --> 00:07:27,428 It doesn't matter, ok? 154 00:07:27,496 --> 00:07:28,729 The point is I had a shot 155 00:07:28,797 --> 00:07:30,031 at something good in my life, 156 00:07:30,099 --> 00:07:33,768 and once again my father stomped it into dust! 157 00:07:33,835 --> 00:07:35,286 And here come the melodramatics! 158 00:07:35,354 --> 00:07:36,420 You know what? 159 00:07:36,488 --> 00:07:38,072 Go to hell. 160 00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:41,409 Sure, everything is my fault! 161 00:07:41,477 --> 00:07:42,588 Were it not for me, you'd be married 162 00:07:42,612 --> 00:07:46,247 to the prince of Monaco and living in his castle! 163 00:07:46,315 --> 00:07:48,700 Maybe I really should leave. 164 00:07:48,767 --> 00:07:51,319 No, no, no. Look, it's over. It's all over. 165 00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,631 You know, let me tell you something. 166 00:07:52,655 --> 00:07:54,188 Crap. 167 00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:56,691 I didn't want to marry the prince of Monaco. 168 00:07:56,759 --> 00:07:58,303 I did want to win that junior spelling bee. 169 00:07:58,327 --> 00:07:59,560 You remember that, huh? 170 00:07:59,628 --> 00:08:00,561 Indeed I do. 171 00:08:00,629 --> 00:08:01,840 Really? 'Cause I would have won that 172 00:08:01,864 --> 00:08:03,197 had you not shouted out 173 00:08:03,266 --> 00:08:04,949 how to spell the word vestibule 174 00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:06,901 while I was thinking of it! 175 00:08:06,969 --> 00:08:07,652 I had to shout. 176 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,672 You kept ignoring my hand signals! 177 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,174 You know what else I wanted? I wanted to perform 178 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:16,043 in the seventh grade performance of swan lake, 179 00:08:16,111 --> 00:08:19,097 not be yanked out of the auditorium in my leotard 180 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,542 because they didn't want to give you 181 00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:23,268 "v.I.P. Seating." 182 00:08:23,335 --> 00:08:25,080 The other swans' parents were in the front row. 183 00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:26,571 Should I have ignored that? 184 00:08:26,638 --> 00:08:28,733 Yes, yeah, yeah, you should have ignored that because- 185 00:08:28,757 --> 00:08:31,426 now I know this is a hard concept for you to understand- 186 00:08:31,494 --> 00:08:34,362 that night wasn't about you. 187 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,397 Oh, this is stupid. It's just ancient history. 188 00:08:36,466 --> 00:08:39,718 Oh, ok, you want to talk about today, then? 189 00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:41,953 I would've liked to have gotten that secretary job, 190 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,738 but you know what I would've liked more? 191 00:08:43,806 --> 00:08:47,025 Not having to grovel for a secretary job at all. 192 00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,770 But that would have meant me going to college, 193 00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:50,328 and I didn't go to college, did I? 194 00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:52,964 No. I became a checker at waldbaum's. 195 00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:56,067 Why, because somebody said I would be abandoning him. 196 00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:57,235 Your mother had just died! 197 00:08:57,302 --> 00:08:58,903 My life was in upheaval! 198 00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:01,973 So was mine. News flash, ok? 199 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,085 You were never there for me, dad. 200 00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:05,376 You never-you never are, you never were. 201 00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:07,378 And you know what, when I was sitting there 202 00:09:07,446 --> 00:09:08,723 trying to hold that interview together 203 00:09:08,747 --> 00:09:09,924 and I was looking through that glass, 204 00:09:09,948 --> 00:09:10,881 do you know what I saw? 205 00:09:10,949 --> 00:09:13,384 What I've been seeing my whole life: 206 00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:14,719 A lousy father. 207 00:09:14,786 --> 00:09:16,938 A selfish, overbearing, 208 00:09:17,006 --> 00:09:18,607 lousy father! 209 00:09:25,812 --> 00:09:28,466 Did I offer you a soda yet? 210 00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:30,185 I gotta go. 211 00:09:35,691 --> 00:09:38,760 I don't know what to say. 212 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:42,030 Nothing you can say, nothing you can do. 213 00:09:42,097 --> 00:09:43,498 Unless you can go back in time 214 00:09:43,566 --> 00:09:45,166 and fix everything. 215 00:10:01,683 --> 00:10:02,850 Hello? 216 00:10:07,489 --> 00:10:10,225 Ok. Thank you. 217 00:10:12,994 --> 00:10:15,330 I got the job. 218 00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:20,918 Yay? 219 00:10:26,675 --> 00:10:28,376 Hey, any sign of my dad? 220 00:10:28,444 --> 00:10:30,111 Nope. I thought I saw him 221 00:10:30,178 --> 00:10:31,378 in the park, but it turned out 222 00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:33,414 to be just a weird-shaped kid. 223 00:10:33,482 --> 00:10:35,583 Ohh. Why couldn't that stupid phone call 224 00:10:35,651 --> 00:10:37,685 have come 5 minutes earlier? 225 00:10:37,753 --> 00:10:40,188 Then I never would've gone off on him like that. 226 00:10:40,256 --> 00:10:42,257 How bad was it? 227 00:10:42,325 --> 00:10:44,893 It wasn't that bad. It really wasn't. 228 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,187 Doug, don't lie to me. How bad was it? 229 00:10:46,211 --> 00:10:47,879 It was the worst thing I ever saw. 230 00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,507 And I once saw a guy chase his glass eye 231 00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:53,117 down a flight of subway stairs. 232 00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:56,371 Oh, this is awful! 233 00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:57,372 Look, it's gonna be all right. 234 00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:59,073 No, it's not gonna be all right, Doug. 235 00:10:59,141 --> 00:11:01,342 I mean, there are things in life 236 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:02,954 you just don't say out loud, and I said 'em. 237 00:11:02,978 --> 00:11:05,947 I called the man a lousy father. 238 00:11:06,015 --> 00:11:07,648 I did say that, right? 239 00:11:07,716 --> 00:11:08,483 Twice. 240 00:11:08,550 --> 00:11:10,835 The second time, you kind of spit on him. 241 00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:13,738 Hey, what's up? 242 00:11:13,805 --> 00:11:15,473 Your dad's at my place. 243 00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:17,092 Oh, good. How is he? 244 00:11:17,159 --> 00:11:17,859 Well, he seems pretty upset. 245 00:11:17,926 --> 00:11:19,077 He said he's not coming home 246 00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:22,213 until he figures out a way to go back in time, 247 00:11:22,281 --> 00:11:23,514 which has me a little worried, 248 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:26,250 'cause I'm having people over tonight. 249 00:11:26,318 --> 00:11:28,536 Don't worry. I'll take care of it. 250 00:11:28,603 --> 00:11:30,138 Go talk to him, honey. 251 00:11:30,206 --> 00:11:32,140 Me? 252 00:11:32,208 --> 00:11:33,875 Yeah, please. I wouldn't even know 253 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,543 what to say to him right now. 254 00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:36,344 You just tell him you got the job 255 00:11:36,412 --> 00:11:37,762 and everything'll be fine. 256 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,541 Doug, I don't think the job news will offset 257 00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,499 the "I hate you" news. 258 00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,601 I got nothing to say to him. 259 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,481 Yeah, but someone's gonna talk to him, right? 260 00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:48,807 'Cause I have a lot of jell-o shots to make. 261 00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:52,226 Fine. All right, fine. 262 00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:53,361 I will do it. 263 00:11:53,428 --> 00:11:54,879 Thank you, honey. I love you. 264 00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:57,482 All right, I'm gonna go take a walk and clear my head. 265 00:11:57,549 --> 00:11:59,050 Ok. I have no TV, 266 00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:00,328 and now I'm about to beg Arthur 267 00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:01,619 to come back home. 268 00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:02,764 You know what, you'd better drive. 269 00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:04,839 I might take us off a bridge. 270 00:12:15,534 --> 00:12:18,203 Hey, Arthur. I'm back. 271 00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:19,537 I brought Doug. 272 00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:22,073 Howdy. 273 00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:24,041 So, this is my place. 274 00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:25,643 Wow. Very nice. 275 00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:27,812 Very, very nice. 276 00:12:27,879 --> 00:12:29,263 Good view of the expressway. 277 00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:33,401 Great view, actually. 278 00:12:33,468 --> 00:12:35,013 Yeah, and after a while, the traffic noise 279 00:12:35,037 --> 00:12:36,771 starts to sound like the ocean. 280 00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,973 Wow, another plus right there. 281 00:12:41,276 --> 00:12:44,562 So, Arthur, how's it going? 282 00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,931 How's, uh-how's your rash? 283 00:12:46,999 --> 00:12:48,016 Much better. 284 00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:51,769 Turns out mandelbaum's ointment works after all. 285 00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,421 Good. That's good. 286 00:12:53,489 --> 00:12:54,950 Now if there were only some sort of ointment 287 00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:57,141 for failing as a parent. 288 00:12:57,209 --> 00:12:59,827 I don't know if you failed as a parent. 289 00:12:59,895 --> 00:13:02,764 You got, like, a c-minus maybe. 290 00:13:02,831 --> 00:13:04,075 Which, in my house, was good enough 291 00:13:04,099 --> 00:13:06,401 to earn you a trip to carvel. 292 00:13:06,469 --> 00:13:07,578 Anyway, you know what, I think you should come home, 293 00:13:07,602 --> 00:13:08,880 sit down with Carrie, you talk this out. 294 00:13:08,904 --> 00:13:09,938 Damn it, Douglas, 295 00:13:10,005 --> 00:13:12,173 talking won't fix what I've done to her. 296 00:13:12,241 --> 00:13:13,874 The lost friends, the broken dreams, 297 00:13:13,943 --> 00:13:15,576 that job today. You heard her, 298 00:13:15,644 --> 00:13:17,678 I can't fix it unless I go back in time. 299 00:13:17,746 --> 00:13:19,514 And unless you're incredibly wealthy, 300 00:13:19,582 --> 00:13:21,849 that's impossible. 301 00:13:21,917 --> 00:13:23,751 I know, but you gotta come home. 302 00:13:23,819 --> 00:13:25,119 I will not come home again! 303 00:13:25,187 --> 00:13:28,156 This is my home now! 304 00:13:28,223 --> 00:13:29,974 No, no, no, no. He cannot live here. 305 00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:32,944 I already am not supposed to have the cat. 306 00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:35,312 All right, you know what, I think I got an idea here, ok? 307 00:13:35,380 --> 00:13:36,213 Hey, Arthur, you know what, 308 00:13:36,281 --> 00:13:37,665 I think I may have figured a way 309 00:13:37,732 --> 00:13:38,967 you can go back in time 310 00:13:39,034 --> 00:13:41,002 and actually fix what happened today. 311 00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,603 How? 312 00:13:42,671 --> 00:13:44,216 Just call the guy down at the Dugan group 313 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,907 and apologize for messing up Carrie's interview. 314 00:13:46,975 --> 00:13:48,220 And, you know, maybe he'll change his mind 315 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,710 and hire her after all. 316 00:13:49,778 --> 00:13:51,078 You really think that will work? 317 00:13:51,347 --> 00:13:52,080 You never know unless you try. 318 00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:53,598 Ok, we'll give you some privacy. 319 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:54,666 Yeah, ok? 320 00:13:54,717 --> 00:13:56,017 What's this man's name again? 321 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,787 Uh, it's, uh... Lance. 322 00:13:58,854 --> 00:14:01,323 Uh... Bossington. 323 00:14:01,390 --> 00:14:02,424 Got it! 324 00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:09,380 Yes, may I speak with Lance Bossington, please? 325 00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:11,232 Mr. Bossington? 326 00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:12,967 Please hold the line, sir. 327 00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:17,355 Bossington here. 328 00:14:17,422 --> 00:14:19,991 Yes, I do remember you, Mr. Spooner. 329 00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:21,492 As I recall, you and your daughter 330 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,561 made quite a ruckus here. 331 00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:27,548 So, what happened today was entirely my fault, sir. 332 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:31,285 I truly wish you would reconsider your decision. 333 00:14:31,353 --> 00:14:32,686 You will? 334 00:14:32,754 --> 00:14:33,704 Of course I will. 335 00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:36,676 You're a very persuasive man, Mr. Spooner. 336 00:14:37,208 --> 00:14:38,970 Why, it's almost as if you've gone back in time 337 00:14:38,994 --> 00:14:43,064 and made things right. Remarkable! 338 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,416 Shut your trap out here! 339 00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:46,717 Uh, look... 340 00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:49,136 I've got to run into a big real estate meeting now. 341 00:14:49,204 --> 00:14:52,974 I'm trading in 4 houses for a hotel. 342 00:14:53,041 --> 00:14:54,074 Good-bye. 343 00:14:54,142 --> 00:14:55,493 Nice. 344 00:14:57,562 --> 00:14:59,781 Any luck? It worked! 345 00:14:59,848 --> 00:15:01,816 Wow. Carrie's gonna be happy to hear that, huh? 346 00:15:01,884 --> 00:15:03,184 Good job, Artie. 347 00:15:03,251 --> 00:15:06,054 It actually is possible to fix the past. 348 00:15:06,121 --> 00:15:07,201 You proved that. Didn't he? 349 00:15:07,255 --> 00:15:09,456 Mm-hmm. Here's your jacket. 350 00:15:09,525 --> 00:15:11,225 Oh, no. I can't go home yet. 351 00:15:11,293 --> 00:15:13,110 I've got many more calls to make, 352 00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:15,312 many more wrongs to right. 353 00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:17,231 Arthur, you got Carrie the job. That's enough! 354 00:15:17,299 --> 00:15:18,499 It's not enough. I won't leave 355 00:15:18,533 --> 00:15:19,800 until I've fixed everything. 356 00:15:19,869 --> 00:15:22,670 Because now I know I can! 357 00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:26,390 Ok. 358 00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:28,325 Now, each of the numbers we gave to Arthur 359 00:15:28,393 --> 00:15:30,327 corresponds to one of these cell phones. 360 00:15:30,395 --> 00:15:32,292 Like, when this one rings, for example, 361 00:15:32,317 --> 00:15:34,165 Arthur's gonna think he's calling the woman 362 00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:36,367 who was Carrie's elementary school principal, 363 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,902 but, in fact, it'll actually be you. 364 00:15:38,970 --> 00:15:40,148 Ok, now, like when this one rings here, 365 00:15:40,172 --> 00:15:41,105 he thinks he's gonna be calling. 366 00:15:41,173 --> 00:15:42,640 Carrie's high school boyfriend. 367 00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,892 That'll be me. And so on. 368 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,711 So, I'll be all the women, 369 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,613 and you'll be all the men? 370 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:52,316 I think that's best. 371 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:56,671 You're up. Ok, make me proud, 372 00:15:56,739 --> 00:15:58,939 miss hanratty. 373 00:15:59,007 --> 00:16:00,324 So what you're saying is, 374 00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:04,145 that Carrie actually knew how to spell vestibule. 375 00:16:04,212 --> 00:16:06,681 Yes, she spelled it for me on a regular basis. 376 00:16:06,749 --> 00:16:08,149 If I hadn't shouted it out, 377 00:16:08,216 --> 00:16:09,917 she would have won for sure. 378 00:16:09,985 --> 00:16:12,219 Well, in that case, I should go back into the records 379 00:16:12,288 --> 00:16:14,822 and make her the winner, shouldn't I? 380 00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:17,091 That would be marvelous! 381 00:16:17,159 --> 00:16:19,160 Of course I forgive you. 382 00:16:19,227 --> 00:16:20,428 In fact, the next time 383 00:16:20,496 --> 00:16:22,697 we do the seventh grade production of swan lake, 384 00:16:22,765 --> 00:16:26,000 I know who our special guest ballerina's gonna be. 385 00:16:26,067 --> 00:16:28,770 Carrie Spooner! 386 00:16:31,072 --> 00:16:32,607 Sure, Mr. s., 387 00:16:32,675 --> 00:16:34,575 I accept your apology. 388 00:16:34,643 --> 00:16:36,644 Carrie is once again my favorite girlfriend 389 00:16:36,711 --> 00:16:38,445 from all of high school. 390 00:16:38,513 --> 00:16:40,648 You're a prince, Peter. 391 00:16:40,716 --> 00:16:42,633 You've actually made me feel quite foolish 392 00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:45,169 for cutting short your romance with my daughter. 393 00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:48,439 Well, I'm sure she did pretty well for herself. 394 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,025 Oh, yes, she's married to a very nice fellow. 395 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:53,628 Though, frankly, he is a bit of a simpleton. 396 00:16:53,696 --> 00:16:55,463 And I get the distinct impression 397 00:16:55,531 --> 00:16:56,598 that in the bedroom, 398 00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:59,801 he's skittish, clumsy, and tentative. 399 00:16:59,869 --> 00:17:02,003 Top that off with his atrocious health habits, 400 00:17:02,070 --> 00:17:03,605 and it's quite a mess over there. 401 00:17:03,672 --> 00:17:05,006 Hang in there, Peter. 402 00:17:05,073 --> 00:17:07,008 You may just get another chance! 403 00:17:09,856 --> 00:17:10,628 How'd that go? 404 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,930 It was good. It's fine, fine. 405 00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:14,665 All right, Mr. Spooners. 406 00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:16,100 I appreciate you coming clean 407 00:17:16,167 --> 00:17:17,468 on that 11th item. 408 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:20,705 Carrie's welcome back in my express line whenevers. 409 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,610 A little racist, but did the trick. 410 00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:27,138 Ok, we got one more here. Uh, let's see. 411 00:17:27,162 --> 00:17:30,197 Ok, Martin syznick. 412 00:17:30,265 --> 00:17:31,343 Hey, listen, since the last one is a man, 413 00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:32,299 do you mind if I take off 414 00:17:32,368 --> 00:17:33,601 and get ready for my party? 415 00:17:33,669 --> 00:17:34,979 You know what, you go ahead. I'll handle the call, 416 00:17:35,003 --> 00:17:36,147 then I'll come pick up Arthur. 417 00:17:36,171 --> 00:17:39,540 Great, great. I'll leave him on the stoop! 418 00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:44,945 Hello? 419 00:17:45,013 --> 00:17:48,282 Yes, sir. I'm trying to reach a Marilyn Syznick. 420 00:17:49,451 --> 00:17:51,118 Marilyn? 421 00:17:51,186 --> 00:17:52,986 Oh, my God. It does say Marilyn. 422 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,809 Yes, my sister Marilyn just got out of the shower. 423 00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:00,611 Please hold a second. 424 00:18:03,381 --> 00:18:04,692 Hey, look, I need your help, all right? 425 00:18:04,716 --> 00:18:05,783 It's your father. 426 00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:07,001 Oh, good, ok. 427 00:18:07,102 --> 00:18:08,720 Tell him to go to hell. 428 00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:10,137 What? 429 00:18:10,205 --> 00:18:11,499 I was out walking, and it just hit me. 430 00:18:11,523 --> 00:18:13,124 He did it again. He screwed up, 431 00:18:13,191 --> 00:18:14,726 and now I'm the one feeling guilty? 432 00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:15,870 Well, enough. I don't give a crap 433 00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:17,662 if he comes back or not. 434 00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:22,199 Could you just hold on one more second, please? 435 00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,084 Why are you talking like that? 436 00:18:24,152 --> 00:18:25,519 Here's the deal, ok? 437 00:18:25,587 --> 00:18:27,821 He refuses to come home here until he can undo 438 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,357 all the bad stuff he did to you. 439 00:18:29,425 --> 00:18:30,451 So what's he's doing, he's calling 440 00:18:30,475 --> 00:18:32,076 all the people he offended to apologize, 441 00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:32,877 or at least he thinks he is. 442 00:18:32,944 --> 00:18:34,172 He's actually talking to me and Holly 443 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,330 pretending to be them. 444 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,583 What? 445 00:18:39,651 --> 00:18:42,020 Look, this is the last call, and it's been working. 446 00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:43,721 Just pretend to be Marilyn Syznick, 447 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,873 accept his apology, and this'll all be over. 448 00:18:45,941 --> 00:18:47,308 No, I don't want to talk to him. 449 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:48,742 One more second. 450 00:18:48,810 --> 00:18:51,312 She's just slipping into her robe. 451 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:52,460 Come on, do it. Just do it. 452 00:18:52,514 --> 00:18:54,148 Just do it! 453 00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:57,151 Disguise your voice. 454 00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,521 Hello? 455 00:19:00,589 --> 00:19:03,157 Is this Marilyn Syznick? 456 00:19:04,593 --> 00:19:06,627 It's Arthur Spooner calling. 457 00:19:06,694 --> 00:19:09,397 Years ago, my daughter was in your brownie troop. 458 00:19:09,464 --> 00:19:11,198 That is, until I angrily accused you 459 00:19:11,266 --> 00:19:12,533 of favoring the Polish children 460 00:19:12,601 --> 00:19:14,067 in the assignment of merit badges. 461 00:19:14,135 --> 00:19:15,135 Do you recall? 462 00:19:16,605 --> 00:19:18,840 Anyway, I'm calling to apologize 463 00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:20,374 and ask if you'd be kind enough 464 00:19:20,442 --> 00:19:22,343 to send along any patches or certificates 465 00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:24,278 she may have lost on my account. 466 00:19:24,346 --> 00:19:28,149 Oh, yes. Well, that's fine, yes. 467 00:19:28,216 --> 00:19:30,785 Oh, thank you so much. 468 00:19:30,853 --> 00:19:33,021 I know this must seem strange to you, 469 00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,722 given that Carrie's a grown woman now, 470 00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:38,693 but in my heart she'll always be my little baby. 471 00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:39,927 Why, I can still remember 472 00:19:39,995 --> 00:19:41,428 when she was not even a year old 473 00:19:41,496 --> 00:19:44,465 and came down with a terrible case of the croup. 474 00:19:44,533 --> 00:19:47,101 The only think that eased her coughing fits 475 00:19:47,169 --> 00:19:48,609 was when I walked with her in my arms 476 00:19:48,637 --> 00:19:51,039 through the cold night air. 477 00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,374 I must've walked 10 Miles with her 478 00:19:53,441 --> 00:19:56,410 every night for a week. 479 00:19:56,478 --> 00:19:59,047 Wow. 480 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:01,615 Oh, I would've walked 1,000 Miles if I had to. 481 00:20:01,684 --> 00:20:03,751 It's ironic. I tried so hard 482 00:20:03,819 --> 00:20:05,119 to protect that beautiful child, 483 00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:08,056 and today I find out that it was me 484 00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,692 who hurt her most of all. 485 00:20:10,759 --> 00:20:13,895 It rips my heart out. 486 00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:15,063 The worst part is 487 00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:17,264 I don't know if she'll ever forgive me. 488 00:20:23,672 --> 00:20:25,506 She will. 489 00:20:25,574 --> 00:20:28,776 You're very kind to say that, Marilyn. 490 00:20:28,844 --> 00:20:31,445 And, if I'm remembering correctly, 491 00:20:31,513 --> 00:20:35,783 you're also quite well-endowed upstairs. 492 00:20:35,851 --> 00:20:37,451 Can I buy you dinner? 493 00:20:37,519 --> 00:20:38,686 Eww. No! 494 00:20:38,754 --> 00:20:41,956 Oh, come on, don't be coy. 495 00:20:42,024 --> 00:20:43,490 The way you'd undo a button 496 00:20:43,558 --> 00:20:45,292 on your troop leader's vest when I came in, 497 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,328 you don't think I noticed that? 498 00:20:47,395 --> 00:20:50,397 What? Get over yourself! 499 00:20:50,465 --> 00:20:51,582 Tease. 500 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:03,694 Hey. 501 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:05,396 Oh, hi. 502 00:21:05,464 --> 00:21:07,165 How you doing? 503 00:21:09,134 --> 00:21:10,535 I guess I'm still a little sad. 504 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:12,670 This whole thing with my dad, you know? 505 00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:14,055 Why? It's over. 506 00:21:14,123 --> 00:21:15,991 He's back. Everything's fine. 507 00:21:16,058 --> 00:21:17,308 I know. It's just that, 508 00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:19,377 when something like this happens 509 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:20,605 and you're forced to bring up 510 00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:23,514 all those dark and buried feelings, 511 00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:27,452 it just leaves you kind of empty inside, you know? 512 00:21:32,775 --> 00:21:35,627 Ooh! The Bachelorette.