1 00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:09,018 This is messed up. 2 00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:10,586 Telling us we're going to Cooper's, 3 00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:11,854 then dragging us to the mall. 4 00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:13,221 We're going to Cooper's, okay? 5 00:00:13,245 --> 00:00:15,390 As soon I get Carrie her anniversary present. 6 00:00:15,414 --> 00:00:18,394 You should get her a massaging foot soaker. 7 00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:20,596 I got one, and mine feel like butter. 8 00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:22,982 Okay, thanks for ruining butter for me. 9 00:00:23,006 --> 00:00:25,918 Come on. Do you have any idea what you're gonna get her? 10 00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:27,854 I know exactly what I'm getting her. 11 00:00:27,878 --> 00:00:29,705 She actually circled the earrings in this ad. 12 00:00:29,729 --> 00:00:31,874 Then she sketched out a map of the mall 13 00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:33,275 so I don't get lost. 14 00:00:33,299 --> 00:00:35,811 Look, see the "X" at Cinnabon there? 15 00:00:35,835 --> 00:00:38,247 "You are probably here." 16 00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:40,166 Fredrico DeMali? 17 00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:41,868 No. Doug Heffernan. 18 00:00:41,892 --> 00:00:44,236 Oh, no. I was asking if you'd like to try 19 00:00:44,260 --> 00:00:46,038 our new Fredrico DeMali cologne. 20 00:00:46,062 --> 00:00:47,506 Oh. No. No, thanks. 21 00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:49,292 I'm good with my Midnight Steel. 22 00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:51,443 Midnight Steel? 23 00:00:51,467 --> 00:00:53,429 Isn't that kind of '90s? 24 00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:55,214 Actually, '80s. 25 00:00:55,238 --> 00:00:56,849 Come on, try it. I mean, you wouldn't 26 00:00:56,873 --> 00:00:58,017 still wear the clothes 27 00:00:58,041 --> 00:00:59,719 you wore in the '80s, would you? 28 00:00:59,743 --> 00:01:02,310 All right, yeah. I'll take a blast. Sure. 29 00:01:05,949 --> 00:01:08,477 Wow! That smells awesome. 30 00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:11,697 Goes great with your body chemistry. Really? 31 00:01:11,721 --> 00:01:12,932 She's right. That's a winner. 32 00:01:12,956 --> 00:01:14,901 Oh, my God. You smell yummy. 33 00:01:14,925 --> 00:01:17,426 Okay, I'll take the biggest bottle you have. 34 00:01:54,046 --> 00:01:55,540 Oh! Ten of clubs. 35 00:01:55,564 --> 00:01:57,643 Miracle card. Gin! 36 00:01:57,667 --> 00:02:00,079 That's 80 bucks you owe me. 37 00:02:00,103 --> 00:02:02,153 I know. You don't have to rub my face in it. 38 00:02:03,205 --> 00:02:05,217 Douglas, he's rubbing it in my face again. 39 00:02:05,241 --> 00:02:06,652 Hey, don't know what it is, 40 00:02:06,676 --> 00:02:08,910 but I hope I'm upstairs before the rubbing starts. 41 00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:13,759 Okay. One more game, double or nothing. 42 00:02:13,783 --> 00:02:16,429 No, Arthur, I'm not playing until you pay me the 80 bucks. 43 00:02:16,453 --> 00:02:18,146 I told you before, just put it on my tab. 44 00:02:18,170 --> 00:02:19,448 Why can't you get that through 45 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,550 that pineapple-shaped head of yours?! 46 00:02:21,574 --> 00:02:22,852 Okay, you know what? 47 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:25,221 When you win, I pay right away, 48 00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:28,057 and when I win, you don't pay, and you insult my head. 49 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:31,944 Are you insinuating I'm not good for the money? 50 00:02:31,968 --> 00:02:33,779 No, I'm not insinuating. You don't pay. 51 00:02:33,803 --> 00:02:35,887 Then you are insinuating it. 52 00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:39,918 Hey, there, lucky lady. 53 00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:42,071 Hey, honey. I was thinking for our anniversary, 54 00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,956 we should go to Chez Henri. 55 00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:46,993 It's this really romantic French restaurant. 56 00:02:47,017 --> 00:02:49,027 Or we do a bunch of Jell-O shots 57 00:02:49,051 --> 00:02:51,464 and bowl drunk. 58 00:02:51,488 --> 00:02:54,222 We did that for my birthday. 59 00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:58,004 Come on, baby. Do it for me. 60 00:02:58,028 --> 00:02:59,020 All right. Okay. 61 00:02:59,044 --> 00:03:00,922 All right. All right. Oh, great. Thank you. 62 00:03:00,946 --> 00:03:02,013 Okay. 63 00:03:04,034 --> 00:03:06,429 What is that smell? 64 00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:07,379 Oh, I was at the mall today, 65 00:03:07,403 --> 00:03:09,314 and I treated myself to a new cologne. 66 00:03:09,338 --> 00:03:13,019 Fredrico DeMali. 67 00:03:13,043 --> 00:03:14,753 Gotta be honest with you, honey. 68 00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:17,657 That one's rough. 69 00:03:17,681 --> 00:03:19,275 No, no. You just gotta get in there. 70 00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:20,576 Yeah, I was in there, okay? 71 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,612 Now, Midnight Steel. Now, that's your scent, honey. 72 00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:25,114 All right, for our anniversary, 73 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:27,216 I think you should wear the blue suit. 74 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,217 The brown one's nice, 75 00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:30,986 but it still has grass stains on it. 76 00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:32,538 How did you do that again? 77 00:03:32,562 --> 00:03:34,172 Okay, you know what? For the last time, 78 00:03:34,196 --> 00:03:37,643 I was at that funeral, and a softball game broke out. 79 00:03:37,667 --> 00:03:39,718 It happens. All right. 80 00:03:45,824 --> 00:03:47,436 What are you doing, hon? 81 00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:48,653 I want you to get the full effect. 82 00:03:48,677 --> 00:03:51,446 Just let it mix with my body chemistry. 83 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,995 And I already told you that cologne: 84 00:03:56,019 --> 00:03:57,452 Swing and a miss. 85 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,366 That's not what other people say. 86 00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:01,484 What other people? 87 00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,135 Oh, Deacon and Danny, and, 88 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,404 oh, well, this girl at the mall said I smelled yummy. 89 00:04:05,428 --> 00:04:06,571 Well, I don't care 90 00:04:06,595 --> 00:04:08,908 what some skank at the mall thinks, okay? 91 00:04:08,932 --> 00:04:11,693 You don't wear cologne for other women. 92 00:04:11,717 --> 00:04:13,862 You wear it for me. That's why I have you wear. 93 00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:16,132 Midnight Steel, because I like it. 94 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:18,133 All right, so take the cologne back to the mall 95 00:04:18,157 --> 00:04:20,893 and get your money back. Okay, babe? Thanks. 96 00:04:25,664 --> 00:04:26,908 Ah, Spencer. 97 00:04:26,932 --> 00:04:29,478 Oh, Arthur. What did you want me to come down here for? 98 00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:30,846 You said you want me to pay you back, 99 00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:32,264 so I'm paying you back. 100 00:04:32,288 --> 00:04:33,482 Where's my money? 101 00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:34,616 I'm not paying you in money. 102 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:35,951 That's crass. 103 00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:38,320 I'm paying you with the magical bliss 104 00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:40,606 that is American cinema. 105 00:04:40,630 --> 00:04:42,191 Arthur, I'd rather have my money. 106 00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,626 Well, I'd rather be drinking mai tais 107 00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:46,028 with the Lennon Sisters, but that ain't gonna happen. 108 00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:47,363 Now follow me. 109 00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:49,298 Wait, Arthur, the entrance is right here. 110 00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:50,988 That's the sucker's way in. 111 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:56,171 Arthur, I'm not doing this. 112 00:04:56,195 --> 00:04:57,473 It's illegal. It's stealing. 113 00:04:57,497 --> 00:04:58,774 It's not stealing. 114 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:01,142 They build this into the price, like shoplifting. 115 00:05:01,166 --> 00:05:02,210 What if we get caught? 116 00:05:02,234 --> 00:05:04,168 Oh, sprout some figs, will you? 117 00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,265 Let's do it. 118 00:05:06,289 --> 00:05:07,782 Okay, as soon as the usher's gone, 119 00:05:07,806 --> 00:05:08,983 we'll grab our seats. 120 00:05:09,007 --> 00:05:10,952 So there's no confusion, I'm an aisle man. 121 00:05:10,976 --> 00:05:12,377 Yeah, whatever. 122 00:05:14,012 --> 00:05:15,680 Okay, let's do it. 123 00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:22,898 Hey. 124 00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:24,022 What's up, Crime Dawg? 125 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:27,203 How come you never do that for me? 126 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:29,337 Huh? You know, nicknames. 127 00:05:29,361 --> 00:05:32,974 Crime Dawg, Doug Town, D-Unit. 128 00:05:32,998 --> 00:05:34,410 How come you never do it for me? 129 00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:35,744 What do you wanna be called? 130 00:05:35,768 --> 00:05:37,429 Well, I'm not supposed to come up with it. 131 00:05:37,453 --> 00:05:39,081 You're supposed to come up with it. 132 00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:40,666 I don't wanna come up with it. 133 00:05:40,690 --> 00:05:42,100 Well, why not? You do it for him. 134 00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,336 Just come up with a nickname for me. 135 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,845 How about Whiny Beyotch? 136 00:05:48,214 --> 00:05:50,759 Thank you. 137 00:05:50,783 --> 00:05:51,810 Here's your hot wings. 138 00:05:51,834 --> 00:05:54,213 Oh. Cool. 139 00:05:54,237 --> 00:05:55,481 Hm. Hey, what happened 140 00:05:55,505 --> 00:05:57,850 to that great cologne you had on yesterday? 141 00:05:57,874 --> 00:05:59,835 Oh, I, uh, decided not to wear it today. 142 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:03,072 I went back to my old Midnight Steel. 143 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,363 Oh, yeah. My dad wears that. 144 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,078 You're not wearing the DeMali anymore? 145 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,996 No. You know what? Carrie didn't like it. 146 00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:13,165 Well, if the scent's up for grabs, I'll take it. 147 00:06:13,189 --> 00:06:14,650 It's all yours, man. Enjoy. 148 00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:15,851 Ha. Boy, 149 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,653 when I was married we had our own troubles, 150 00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:21,207 but my wife never told me how to smell. 151 00:06:21,231 --> 00:06:23,899 No, she was too busy taking "naps" with the gardener. 152 00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:27,612 She wasn't taking "naps" with the gardener, all right? 153 00:06:27,636 --> 00:06:30,916 She was taking "naps" with the landscaper. 154 00:06:30,940 --> 00:06:32,885 The gardener was the lookout. 155 00:06:32,909 --> 00:06:36,755 Anyway, I'm sorry Carrie banned DeMali from you, 156 00:06:36,779 --> 00:06:39,591 but, hey, your loss is my gain. 157 00:06:39,615 --> 00:06:41,060 And he wasn't just a landscaper. 158 00:06:41,084 --> 00:06:42,584 He was also a licensed contractor. 159 00:06:43,886 --> 00:06:45,330 Whoa, whoa, back it up here. 160 00:06:45,354 --> 00:06:48,450 She doesn't ban me from things, okay? I decide. 161 00:06:48,474 --> 00:06:50,385 Okay, so one day, you woke up 162 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,711 and decided to throw out your PlayStation? 163 00:06:53,763 --> 00:06:55,674 No, that was Carrie, but she was right. 164 00:06:55,698 --> 00:06:58,711 I was headed for some serious thumb trouble. 165 00:06:58,735 --> 00:07:00,379 Oh. Well, how about the football pool, 166 00:07:00,403 --> 00:07:03,572 the go-cart, and your, uh, red cowboy boots? 167 00:07:05,107 --> 00:07:07,336 I loved those boots. 168 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,054 And you loved your mustache. 169 00:07:09,078 --> 00:07:13,976 Yeah. 170 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,277 Oh, my God. Little by little, 171 00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:17,446 she's been taking over my world. 172 00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:18,847 It's not really little by little. 173 00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:21,901 It's more like big, decisive chunks. 174 00:07:21,925 --> 00:07:24,402 How long have you guys known this was going on? 175 00:07:24,426 --> 00:07:25,738 I guess it's been about, uh, 176 00:07:25,762 --> 00:07:28,190 10 years this Friday. 177 00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:30,209 Well, let me tell you both something. Okay? 178 00:07:30,233 --> 00:07:32,077 It ends here. I'm sorry, man, 179 00:07:32,101 --> 00:07:33,529 but I'm taking my scent back. 180 00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:37,249 And I'm going home right now to take my life back. 181 00:07:37,273 --> 00:07:39,307 Right after I finish my wings. 182 00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:47,710 You and I have to have a little talk. 183 00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:49,611 Yes, we do, Doug. Do you know what I found 184 00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:52,313 in your pants pocket in the hamper today? 185 00:07:52,337 --> 00:07:53,982 The car insurance payment 186 00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:56,552 that I asked you to mail three weeks ago. 187 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:58,286 Now, tomorrow at work, I'm gonna have to 188 00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:00,723 spend my entire lunch hour on the phone 189 00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:03,609 with the insurance company to straighten this out. 190 00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:06,245 I will mail out all the bills from now on. Okay? 191 00:08:06,269 --> 00:08:07,947 As a matter of fact, don't touch the mail 192 00:08:07,971 --> 00:08:09,271 at all ever. Okay? 193 00:08:12,474 --> 00:08:15,743 You can run, but you cannot hide. 194 00:08:22,151 --> 00:08:23,579 All right, I'm headed out, 195 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:26,347 and I will pick up your suit from the dry cleaners, okay? 196 00:08:26,371 --> 00:08:28,350 Mm. Wow, great. Sounds like I'm gonna be 197 00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:30,385 the sharpest-dressed guy at Chez Henri. 198 00:08:30,409 --> 00:08:32,004 You know, in my weight class. 199 00:08:32,028 --> 00:08:34,495 All right, I'm late. I gotta go. Love you. 200 00:10:03,286 --> 00:10:05,580 Man, I can't believe you stood up to Carrie like that. 201 00:10:05,604 --> 00:10:07,066 I didn't think you had it in you. 202 00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:10,602 Oh, I got it in me and on me. 203 00:10:10,626 --> 00:10:13,939 I am DeMali-licious. 204 00:10:13,963 --> 00:10:15,741 So she wasn't even mad? 205 00:10:15,765 --> 00:10:17,058 I didn't give her a chance to get mad. 206 00:10:17,082 --> 00:10:18,527 I said, "I'm wearing the cologne, 207 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,946 and deal with it, woman." 208 00:10:20,970 --> 00:10:22,797 So, what's next? 209 00:10:22,821 --> 00:10:24,783 You gonna bring back those red cowboy boots? 210 00:10:24,807 --> 00:10:27,102 Hey, I want 'em back, they're back. 211 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,121 My feet, my rules. 212 00:10:29,145 --> 00:10:30,038 Here you go. 213 00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:32,607 Mm, mm. These wings smell good. 214 00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:35,010 Not half as good as you. 215 00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,752 Well, in about two minutes, I'm gonna smell like both. 216 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,291 What's the usher doing? 217 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,361 He's groping an old lady. 218 00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:55,653 No. He's helping her to a seat. 219 00:10:57,356 --> 00:10:59,501 So is this instead of paying me 220 00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:01,820 the money you borrowed? 221 00:11:01,844 --> 00:11:04,656 He takes the price of the ticket off of your tab. 222 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:07,409 Oh, no, no. Arthur, I'm low on rent. I need cash. 223 00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:09,077 Well, bring your landlord down, 224 00:11:09,101 --> 00:11:11,630 and you can pay off your rent in movies. 225 00:11:11,654 --> 00:11:14,366 No. He won't take anything but cash. 226 00:11:14,390 --> 00:11:16,224 Trust me. 227 00:11:55,231 --> 00:11:58,593 That usher keeps staring at us. 228 00:11:58,617 --> 00:12:00,194 He's staring at you because your head 229 00:12:00,218 --> 00:12:01,395 is shaped like a pineapple. 230 00:12:01,419 --> 00:12:04,666 My- 231 00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:06,968 My head is not shaped like a pineapple. 232 00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:09,104 If anything, it's shaped like a honeydew. 233 00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:10,556 Oh, you wish. 234 00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:12,891 I'm gonna go to the concession stand and get some candy. 235 00:12:12,915 --> 00:12:17,312 No need. A. Spooner is open for business. 236 00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:19,213 You expect me to buy candy from you? 237 00:12:19,237 --> 00:12:20,515 No, you don't actually buy it. 238 00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:22,116 He just knocks the price off your tab. 239 00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:24,108 Milk Duds, please. 240 00:12:25,894 --> 00:12:28,540 Excuse me. Evening, my good sir. 241 00:12:28,564 --> 00:12:30,325 How goes the ushering? 242 00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:32,060 Fine. Listen, I don't recall 243 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:33,495 seeing you three come in. 244 00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:35,747 We like to keep a low profile. 245 00:12:35,771 --> 00:12:37,955 We're celebrities. 246 00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:41,125 Enjoy the show. 247 00:12:56,125 --> 00:12:57,436 Hey, babe. 248 00:12:57,460 --> 00:12:59,561 Hey. 249 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:06,695 Wow. That's a nice pen over here. 250 00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,780 Oh, yeah? Yeah, real nice. I like it. 251 00:13:08,804 --> 00:13:10,249 Well, good. You can keep it. 252 00:13:10,273 --> 00:13:11,923 Cool. 253 00:13:23,207 --> 00:13:24,612 Hey, babe, why don't you come over here 254 00:13:24,636 --> 00:13:27,382 and read the sports section? 255 00:13:27,406 --> 00:13:29,685 Sounds good. Just, uh, 256 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:33,127 gonna grab a snack first. Just getting a snack. 257 00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:42,653 Mm. So good. 258 00:14:19,941 --> 00:14:21,353 Oh, Doug? 259 00:14:21,377 --> 00:14:22,804 Yeah? 260 00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:26,014 Don't forget to rub some peanut butter on your wrists. 261 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,949 I like peanut butter. 262 00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:36,401 I can't believe you. 263 00:14:36,425 --> 00:14:38,970 Sneaking around, wearing the cologne 264 00:14:38,994 --> 00:14:41,707 that I specifically asked you not to wear. 265 00:14:41,731 --> 00:14:43,391 I only wore it when you wouldn't be around, 266 00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:45,159 and then when I came home, I washed it off, 267 00:14:45,183 --> 00:14:46,795 and I put on the stuff you liked. 268 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,463 I mean, it never affected you. 269 00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:50,799 Oh, I see. So if I went out 270 00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,234 and had an affair, that'd be okay, 271 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:55,137 as long as I washed afterwards? 272 00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:58,807 Absolutely. I assumed you've been doing that for years. 273 00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,158 Doug, this is not funny. 274 00:15:00,182 --> 00:15:01,977 Oh, come on. 275 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:05,213 I know you want me to feel bad about this, but I don't. 276 00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:07,182 Okay, you control every aspect of my life, 277 00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:08,400 and I'm sick of it. 278 00:15:08,424 --> 00:15:10,285 What? That's ridiculous. 279 00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:13,188 No, it isn't, Carrie. You tell me what to wear, 280 00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:16,391 uh, what I can eat, what presents to get for you, 281 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:17,576 even what I say. 282 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,327 That is not true. Oh, no? 283 00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:21,596 Then why aren't I allowed to say the expression, 284 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:24,556 "for all intensive purposes," hm? 285 00:15:26,542 --> 00:15:30,839 Because it's "intents and purposes," moron. 286 00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,674 Look, Doug, come- 287 00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:33,908 Honey, listen to me. 288 00:15:33,932 --> 00:15:36,428 I know you like the cologne, 289 00:15:36,452 --> 00:15:38,763 but I asked you not to wear it out of respect for me, 290 00:15:38,787 --> 00:15:41,650 because that's what respect. 291 00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:43,167 I'm the one who has to sacrifice. 292 00:15:43,191 --> 00:15:44,519 That's what it feels like. 293 00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:45,670 That's not true. 294 00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:47,739 How about when we first met? 295 00:15:47,763 --> 00:15:50,909 I had a certain look that men found attractive. 296 00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,683 Slutty? 297 00:15:53,985 --> 00:15:57,199 That was the look, yes. 298 00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:59,434 Point is, you told me it made you insecure, 299 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:00,619 so I gave it up. 300 00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:01,686 You should've given it up. 301 00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,321 You looked like a Van Halen groupie. 302 00:16:03,345 --> 00:16:05,123 And you used so much hair spray, 303 00:16:05,147 --> 00:16:07,181 we couldn't light a match for a week. It was like- 304 00:16:09,985 --> 00:16:13,548 The point is, Doug, I stopped for you. 305 00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:16,301 You know what? I like this cologne, and I'm taking a stand. 306 00:16:16,325 --> 00:16:18,136 Oh, this is where you're gonna take a stand, 307 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,055 on how you smell? 308 00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:22,891 How about taking a stand on securing our financial future, 309 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:26,144 or finally getting healthy so you can live past 40? 310 00:16:26,168 --> 00:16:29,197 Nah, sticking with smell. 311 00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:31,199 Okay, you know what, Doug? You're right. 312 00:16:31,223 --> 00:16:32,901 We shouldn't control each other. 313 00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:35,337 You know, tomorrow night is our 10th anniversary, 314 00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:38,072 and I am going to have dinner at Chez Henri, 315 00:16:38,096 --> 00:16:39,658 and you don't even need to show up. 316 00:16:39,682 --> 00:16:41,409 Oh. Oh, believe me, I'm showing up. 317 00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:44,001 Five of those 10 years are mine. 318 00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:48,116 And you know what? For all intensive purposes, 319 00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:49,807 this conversation, she's over. 320 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,393 Hey. Hey! Ahh! 321 00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:03,899 Um, I'll take the Sour Patch Kids. 322 00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:06,067 Okay, cross $4 off my tab, please. 323 00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:07,668 Yesterday these were $3. 324 00:17:07,692 --> 00:17:12,206 All right, fine. Four dollars. Gosh. 325 00:17:12,230 --> 00:17:14,108 Okay, they're dimming the lights. 326 00:17:14,132 --> 00:17:17,969 Usher's making his last pass through. 327 00:17:33,536 --> 00:17:36,681 Well, well, well. What have we here? 328 00:17:36,705 --> 00:17:38,433 They made me do it. He made us do it. 329 00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:40,435 I just wanted my rent money. 330 00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:43,305 Let me ask you, what tipped you off? 331 00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:44,639 I smelled that cologne. 332 00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:45,974 Oh, good going, Arthur. 333 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,065 It smells good. What is that? 334 00:17:53,738 --> 00:17:55,350 If I scored you a bottle, 335 00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,674 would you let me skate on this one? 336 00:18:12,558 --> 00:18:14,469 Good evening, sir. 337 00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:17,088 Hi. Heffernan, party of two. 338 00:18:17,112 --> 00:18:19,056 Mm-hm. My wife's coming from work, 339 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,976 so she'll be here in a couple minutes. 340 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,199 Right this way. 341 00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:26,080 I see you noticing the boots. 342 00:18:26,104 --> 00:18:27,349 Heh, heh. Yes. 343 00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:30,118 Yeah. It's gonna make a little statement, 344 00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:33,104 you know? Show the wife who's boss. 345 00:18:33,128 --> 00:18:35,646 How delightful. Yes. 346 00:18:42,554 --> 00:18:44,589 Okay. 347 00:18:45,690 --> 00:18:48,393 Ahem. Thank you. Yes. 348 00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:51,456 You look nice. 349 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:53,925 Yeah, you know what? I feel nice. 350 00:18:53,949 --> 00:18:56,878 Kind of takes me back to when we first met. 351 00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:58,796 Right. It's like a stroll down memory lane. 352 00:18:58,820 --> 00:18:59,904 Yeah- 353 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,520 Oh. I see you found them. 354 00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:07,522 Yes, I did. 355 00:19:07,546 --> 00:19:10,191 By the way, there's a dead squirrel in the attic. 356 00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:13,011 Good to know. 357 00:19:13,035 --> 00:19:14,279 Oh, you know what? 358 00:19:14,303 --> 00:19:16,815 I feel like I'm losing a little height here. 359 00:19:16,839 --> 00:19:20,558 Ahem. I'll just go ahead and fix that right now. 360 00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:23,204 Carrie, don't you do that. 361 00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:24,522 I will do it. 362 00:19:24,546 --> 00:19:28,910 And don't you control me, Doug. 363 00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,261 Okay. You want to play it that way? 364 00:19:30,285 --> 00:19:31,713 Yeah. You know what? 365 00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:36,584 Feeling a little low on DeMali. 366 00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:38,419 Don't be ridiculous. Oh, is that ridiculous? 367 00:19:38,443 --> 00:19:41,038 Yeah. Mm-mm-mm-mm. Mm. 368 00:19:41,062 --> 00:19:42,857 Oh, really? Okay. 369 00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:44,643 Oh, please. Please don't do this. 370 00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:45,910 I'll do it. Stop yourself. 371 00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,545 Yeah, look at that, huh? 372 00:19:47,569 --> 00:19:49,921 Ooh, your menu's stinky. Stop being ridiculous. 373 00:20:05,721 --> 00:20:07,082 What are we doing here, Doug? 374 00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:09,890 I can't see. 375 00:20:12,194 --> 00:20:14,522 Honey, look, 376 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:17,291 I'm sorry if I come off controlling, 377 00:20:17,315 --> 00:20:18,660 it's just because I love you, 378 00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:20,351 and I just want what's best for you. 379 00:20:22,905 --> 00:20:25,039 I love you too. I'm sorry, Car. 380 00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:27,557 How about this? 381 00:20:29,210 --> 00:20:32,724 If I go back to my old cologne, 382 00:20:32,748 --> 00:20:34,642 can I get my PlayStation back? 383 00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:36,394 Will the boots go back in the attic? 384 00:20:36,418 --> 00:20:38,146 Soon as you get rid of the squirrel. 385 00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:39,814 Deal. 386 00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:41,483 Okay. 387 00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:45,336 Happy anniversary. I love you. 388 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,238 Let's just have a nice meal. 389 00:20:47,262 --> 00:20:48,940 Okay. 390 00:20:48,964 --> 00:20:51,008 I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 391 00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:52,944 Yeah, saw it coming. Okay. Okay. 392 00:20:52,968 --> 00:20:55,803 All right. Sorry about that. Yeah. 393 00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:02,670 Here you go, sir. 394 00:21:02,694 --> 00:21:04,595 I'll take that when you're ready. 395 00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:11,446 So have you enjoyed your dinner? 396 00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:13,064 Oh, it was fabulous, Arthur. 397 00:21:13,088 --> 00:21:14,265 Best meal I ever had. 398 00:21:14,289 --> 00:21:16,167 It's the least I can do after letting you two 399 00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:17,902 take the fall at the movie theater. 400 00:21:17,926 --> 00:21:19,654 Well, this more than makes up for it. 401 00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:21,456 As far as I'm concerned, we are even. 402 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:22,924 Yeah, your slate is clean. 403 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,682 Good. 404 00:21:25,767 --> 00:21:27,718 Now every man for himself.