1
00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:01,303
Carrie! Hm?

2
00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:02,994
Oh, crap.

3
00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:42,394
Carrie? Yeah?

4
00:01:42,418 --> 00:01:44,597
Take a look at this.

5
00:01:44,621 --> 00:01:46,065
What does this tell you?

6
00:01:46,089 --> 00:01:47,199
I don't know.

7
00:01:47,223 --> 00:01:49,825
Those Queer Eye guys
got a hold of ya?

8
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,626
No, I had to borrow
your dad's socks

9
00:01:57,650 --> 00:01:58,627
'cause I'm out of socks.

10
00:01:58,651 --> 00:01:59,695
My socks are not clean,

11
00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:01,330
and I don't have any
clean underwear.

12
00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:03,783
Okay, it's like a
mosh pit down there.

13
00:02:03,807 --> 00:02:07,537
All right, so borrow
a pair from my dad.

14
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:08,888
I tried. I couldn't figure out

15
00:02:08,912 --> 00:02:11,257
all the snaps and pulleys.

16
00:02:11,281 --> 00:02:13,225
I'm sorry that I'm
behind on the laundry

17
00:02:13,249 --> 00:02:15,394
because I had to cook dinner,
clean up afterwards,

18
00:02:15,418 --> 00:02:16,796
and now I'm paying
all our bills.

19
00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:18,931
I told you I'd help you with that.
You never let me.

20
00:02:18,955 --> 00:02:21,601
That's because the last time I
let you pay the electric bill,

21
00:02:21,625 --> 00:02:23,769
we spent three days huddled
together in the dark

22
00:02:23,793 --> 00:02:26,389
with blankets and candles.

23
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,263
And shadow puppets.

24
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,233
I need your paycheck, please.

25
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:38,623
I got it.

26
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:41,270
Thank you.

27
00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:43,406
What's this scribbled
on the back?

28
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:45,724
Oh, I was playing
around with an idea

29
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:48,160
for a new Jets logo.

30
00:02:48,184 --> 00:02:50,413
Are they lookin' for one?

31
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:51,437
No.

32
00:02:53,690 --> 00:02:54,767
Oh, honey, look at this.

33
00:02:54,791 --> 00:02:56,035
With my raise last month,

34
00:02:56,059 --> 00:02:58,421
I actually make more
than you do now.

35
00:02:58,445 --> 00:02:59,221
What?

36
00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:00,172
Yeah, look.

37
00:03:00,196 --> 00:03:02,224
No, you don't. I do, look.

38
00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:04,459
Oh, that's 'cause I got
all these deductions.

39
00:03:04,483 --> 00:03:07,730
Look, I got all this FICA.
That's what's bringin' me down.

40
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:10,032
No, they took FICA. From me too.

41
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:12,101
Look, my check can
beat up your check.

42
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,736
Leave me alone, you big bully!

43
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,038
All right, yeah. Yeah...

44
00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:17,505
Oh, come on, I'm teasing you.

45
00:03:17,529 --> 00:03:20,542
We should be proud of ourselves.
We're doing really well.

46
00:03:20,566 --> 00:03:21,410
We are? Yes.

47
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:23,578
And according to
my calculations,

48
00:03:23,602 --> 00:03:26,332
we actually have some
disposable income.

49
00:03:26,356 --> 00:03:29,619
Really? What do you
wanna dispose it on?

50
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,404
Um, well, we can start
an IRA, you know?

51
00:03:32,428 --> 00:03:35,397
Start saving for our retirement.

52
00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:42,715
What else ya got?

53
00:03:42,739 --> 00:03:45,000
Okay, well, we do
need to upgrade

54
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:46,886
our heating system.

55
00:03:46,910 --> 00:03:49,755
That is true. We do need
to upgrade the heat-

56
00:03:49,779 --> 00:03:52,024
But even more than
the heating system,

57
00:03:52,048 --> 00:03:54,717
haven't we been
needing a speedboat?

58
00:03:55,885 --> 00:03:58,097
Okay, let's put a pin
in the speedboat.

59
00:03:58,121 --> 00:03:59,514
Now, I'm all for splurging,

60
00:03:59,538 --> 00:04:02,151
but it's gotta be something
we both could enjoy.

61
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:03,085
Okay.

62
00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:04,386
How 'bout a speedboat

63
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,177
and a male dancer?

64
00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:15,847
Hey, Arthur.

65
00:04:15,871 --> 00:04:16,982
Ah, Spence, my boy.

66
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:20,252
Here for another
lesson in gin rummy?

67
00:04:20,276 --> 00:04:21,670
A- A lesson?

68
00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:25,814
As of yesterday, you
owe me $82,000.

69
00:04:26,548 --> 00:04:28,610
Ah, yes.

70
00:04:28,634 --> 00:04:31,236
Double or nothing is
a cruel mistress.

71
00:04:32,604 --> 00:04:34,649
Look, I'll tell you what.

72
00:04:34,673 --> 00:04:37,652
I'll forget the whole gin debt
if you'll do something for me

73
00:04:37,676 --> 00:04:39,610
that'll make me
very, very happy.

74
00:04:41,013 --> 00:04:44,243
I'm not sure I'm comfortable
where this is headed.

75
00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:45,227
Listen.

76
00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:47,763
It's about my mom.
What about her?

77
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,031
She's out in the car. I'm-

78
00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:52,134
I'm taking her to the
podiatrist right now.

79
00:04:52,158 --> 00:04:53,586
The thing is,

80
00:04:53,610 --> 00:04:55,671
she's been feeling really
down lately, you know.

81
00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:57,305
Sh-she feels like
nobody wants her

82
00:04:57,329 --> 00:04:59,508
or needs her for
anything anymore.

83
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:01,793
Well, if your mother's
one thing, she's astute.

84
00:05:01,817 --> 00:05:03,352
Cou-Just-

85
00:05:05,738 --> 00:05:09,050
Couldn't you just-
Couldn't you just go out

86
00:05:09,074 --> 00:05:11,387
and ask her to a
movie or something?

87
00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:13,221
How can I put this nicely?

88
00:05:13,245 --> 00:05:15,824
Your mother's not my cup of tea

89
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:18,249
and that I find her
hideous and annoying.

90
00:05:20,803 --> 00:05:24,283
Thanks for putting it nicely.

91
00:05:24,307 --> 00:05:27,153
Spencer, I don't want to
be late for Dr. Kaplan.

92
00:05:27,177 --> 00:05:30,622
This hammer toe won't
correct itself.

93
00:05:30,646 --> 00:05:32,158
Hello, Arthur.

94
00:05:32,182 --> 00:05:34,210
Veronica. I'd love
to stay and chat,

95
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:37,636
but I'm counseling
runaways in the basement.

96
00:05:58,174 --> 00:05:59,891
Who are you?

97
00:06:02,011 --> 00:06:04,690
Why are you stealing
my underwear?

98
00:06:04,714 --> 00:06:05,941
¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿Qué?

99
00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:07,392
Oh. Hey, honey.

100
00:06:07,416 --> 00:06:10,329
Um, Inez, this is
my esposo, Doug.

101
00:06:10,353 --> 00:06:12,248
Ah, mucho gusto. ¿Cómo está?

102
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,272
Yeah. Um, uh...

103
00:06:15,725 --> 00:06:17,620
Me voy a lavar la ropa.

104
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:20,412
Oh, lavar. Yes. Laundry.
Sí, sí, sí, sí.

105
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,677
Okay, what-? What's going on?
Who's that lady?

106
00:06:24,701 --> 00:06:26,295
She's our maid!

107
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:27,546
What?

108
00:06:27,570 --> 00:06:28,914
Yes. After our talk last night,

109
00:06:28,938 --> 00:06:30,315
I was downstairs doing laundry,

110
00:06:30,339 --> 00:06:33,018
trying to Shout out anchovy
paste from your T-shirt,

111
00:06:33,042 --> 00:06:35,153
and I thought, what
would be better

112
00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:37,356
than having some
help around here?

113
00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:38,724
A speedboat.

114
00:06:38,748 --> 00:06:40,458
No.

115
00:06:40,482 --> 00:06:42,828
We-We were supposed to get
something we both enjoyed.

116
00:06:42,852 --> 00:06:45,147
Doug, the maid's for you too.

117
00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:46,465
Really!

118
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,490
Can I fish off her bow?

119
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,288
No, but she can do your
laundry, your dishes,

120
00:06:53,312 --> 00:06:55,324
and clean up after your mess.

121
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,576
Hm. I already had someone
doing that. You!

122
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:58,827
Doug, come on.

123
00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:00,479
This is crazy, Car-
This is a big thing,

124
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,897
and you don't even ask me?

125
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,999
No-It's just that I fell
in love with her, honey,

126
00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:06,035
and I told her it's
only a one-week trial

127
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,587
upon approval of my husband.

128
00:07:08,611 --> 00:07:11,390
A- and she knows that? D-
d-does she even speak English?

129
00:07:11,414 --> 00:07:14,643
A little. But look, I remember
Spanish from high school,

130
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:17,263
and I bought you an
English-Spanish dictionary.

131
00:07:17,287 --> 00:07:19,787
Oh, great. N-now I gotta read.
Okay.

132
00:07:21,591 --> 00:07:23,351
Doug, will you just
give her a chance?

133
00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:25,437
You will fall in love with her.
Please.

134
00:07:25,461 --> 00:07:27,323
I don't know. I just...

135
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:30,409
Did I mention that Inez
is an incredible cook?

136
00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:32,244
She makes a Mexican dessert

137
00:07:32,268 --> 00:07:34,603
that is basically
deep-fried ice cream.

138
00:07:36,822 --> 00:07:38,266
And here's another bonus.

139
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:40,018
When I get home from
work, I won't be busy

140
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,620
doin' all the stuff
around the house.

141
00:07:41,644 --> 00:07:45,129
I will have more time
for pleasin' my man.

142
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,767
Now, she really fries it?

143
00:08:00,729 --> 00:08:01,891
Hey.

144
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:03,776
Buenos días.

145
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:04,816
Sí.

146
00:08:06,886 --> 00:08:08,436
Sí, señorita.

147
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,371
You, eh, finish...

148
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:17,156
¿con sus platos?

149
00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:18,590
Platos, uh...

150
00:08:18,614 --> 00:08:20,375
Eh, platos. Platos.

151
00:08:20,399 --> 00:08:22,193
Oh, yeah, Yes, yes. Sí. Sí. Sí.

152
00:08:22,217 --> 00:08:24,079
¿Y la leche? Sí. Sí.

153
00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:25,938
No. No. No.

154
00:08:26,906 --> 00:08:28,507
Leche. Uh...

155
00:08:32,244 --> 00:08:33,645
I need leche.

156
00:08:48,344 --> 00:08:49,939
...la leche...

157
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,190
No. No.

158
00:08:51,214 --> 00:08:54,292
Oh, you, eh, wanted la
leche para su cereal.

159
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:57,212
Yes, I wanted-I didn't
understand you before.

160
00:08:57,236 --> 00:09:00,666
Uh, I was done with the platos
but not with the leche.

161
00:09:00,690 --> 00:09:03,919
It's nobody's fault. It's just a
little communication problem.

162
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,710
You know what I'm sayin'? Ahem.

163
00:09:07,479 --> 00:09:09,508
You take the leche. I'm
gonna hit a diner.

164
00:09:09,532 --> 00:09:10,732
Yeah.

165
00:09:20,743 --> 00:09:21,820
Buenas tardes.

166
00:09:21,844 --> 00:09:22,911
Hey.

167
00:09:29,017 --> 00:09:30,434
Leche.

168
00:09:44,934 --> 00:09:46,695
Inez? Yes?

169
00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:49,354
I- I'm looking for the Oreos.

170
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:52,707
Los Oreos?

171
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,060
Oreos? You-The cookie?

172
00:09:58,330 --> 00:09:59,547
No.

173
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:06,231
Hey, honey.

174
00:10:06,255 --> 00:10:07,332
We got a problem. Oh.

175
00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:09,151
Inez moved the Oreos,
and they're gone-

176
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,487
They're just gone.

177
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:12,821
Okay, honey, relax.

178
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:15,107
We'll figure this out, okay?

179
00:10:15,131 --> 00:10:15,941
Inez?

180
00:10:15,965 --> 00:10:17,609
Yes? Yeah, hi.

181
00:10:17,633 --> 00:10:21,336
Um, Doug is, uh,
Buscando, uh, galletas.

182
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:23,699
Oreos.

183
00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,890
¡Oh, las galletas!

184
00:10:26,842 --> 00:10:29,210
Los Oreos.

185
00:10:30,780 --> 00:10:34,126
Oh, look, honey. She
cleaned out the cookie jar

186
00:10:34,150 --> 00:10:36,879
and put cookies in there.

187
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:40,099
Okay, but now where are
my Arby's coupons?

188
00:10:40,123 --> 00:10:41,556
Gracias, Inez.

189
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,888
...mucho sus galletas...

190
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:47,762
Oh, yeah. Sí. Mucho galletas.

191
00:10:49,298 --> 00:10:51,699
Mucho pudding y bacon.

192
00:10:55,170 --> 00:10:56,365
Oh, yeah. Sí.

193
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:57,405
Sí.

194
00:11:09,018 --> 00:11:10,412
Look, honey,

195
00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:13,082
Inez dusted under the lamp.

196
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:16,151
You know my motto, if I don't
see it, I ain't cleaning it.

197
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:20,255
And look, she put fresh
flowers by our bed.

198
00:11:20,279 --> 00:11:23,342
Oh, that is so nice.
I'm gonna miss her.

199
00:11:23,366 --> 00:11:25,177
What?

200
00:11:25,201 --> 00:11:28,113
Well, you said it was a one-week
trial upon approval of your husband,

201
00:11:28,137 --> 00:11:30,099
And I gotta tell ya,
I don't approve.

202
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,401
What do you mean?
Inez is doing great.

203
00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:33,519
I disagree.

204
00:11:33,543 --> 00:11:35,154
Why? What's wrong with her?

205
00:11:35,178 --> 00:11:37,088
Well, for one thing, she
moves my snacks around,

206
00:11:37,112 --> 00:11:38,824
and I gotta look all
over the place.

207
00:11:38,848 --> 00:11:40,725
Yeah. Well, God forbid
you burn a few calories

208
00:11:40,749 --> 00:11:42,995
before you inhale a sheet cake.

209
00:11:43,019 --> 00:11:46,198
See? See, I don't like how
you guys are together.

210
00:11:46,222 --> 00:11:47,916
What are you talking about?

211
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:50,302
Yeah, you two laughing
and plotting against me

212
00:11:50,326 --> 00:11:53,589
in your secret little language.

213
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:54,990
It's called Spanish, Doug,

214
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:57,426
and about half the
world speaks it.

215
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,960
Not this half.

216
00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:01,479
Well, you seem to speak it
pretty well when you're ordering

217
00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,881
from the Taco Bell
dollar value menu.

218
00:12:03,905 --> 00:12:05,900
Yeah, yeah, you got me.
Ya got me!

219
00:12:05,924 --> 00:12:08,770
'Cause I know how to say
"burrito" and "more."

220
00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:10,872
Doug, come on. You're
being ridiculous.

221
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,740
Car-You did this
without even asking me.

222
00:12:12,764 --> 00:12:14,676
A- a-and what about all
this fried ice cream

223
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:15,777
I'm supposed to see, huh?

224
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:17,729
Haven't seen it!

225
00:12:17,753 --> 00:12:20,065
All right. Well, you know what?
This is crazy.

226
00:12:20,089 --> 00:12:21,966
Inez is doing a great
job, and she's staying.

227
00:12:21,990 --> 00:12:23,968
Well, if she's staying,
she's working for free

228
00:12:23,992 --> 00:12:25,970
'cause I ain't paying her.
Then I'll pay her.

229
00:12:25,994 --> 00:12:28,073
I pay for most of her anyway.

230
00:12:28,097 --> 00:12:29,458
What?

231
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,092
Oh. So that's what
this is about.

232
00:12:31,116 --> 00:12:32,494
You think you're the boss

233
00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:34,880
'cause you're making a few
more dollars than I am.

234
00:12:34,904 --> 00:12:36,087
More than a few.

235
00:12:37,856 --> 00:12:39,434
The gloves are off.

236
00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:40,569
Let me tell ya something.

237
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,603
If you want a war

238
00:12:41,627 --> 00:12:43,405
over who calls the shots
in this marriage,

239
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,090
you got one, sister.

240
00:12:45,114 --> 00:12:47,893
Doug, I don't want a war.

241
00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:50,067
Well, you got one, sister.

242
00:12:54,216 --> 00:12:57,335
Oh, careful. I just put
down some Glo-Coat.

243
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,628
Uh, Veronica. What's going on?

244
00:13:00,964 --> 00:13:03,192
Doug hired me.
Didn't he tell ya?

245
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,895
No. No, he did not.

246
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,064
Well, maybe he wanted
it to be a surprise.

247
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:10,733
Yeah, I'm sure he did. Yeah.

248
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:11,833
Well, God bless him.

249
00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:14,871
Just feels so good
to be working again.

250
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:15,655
Hey, Car.

251
00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:18,624
You, uh, met our
new maid Veronica.

252
00:13:18,648 --> 00:13:19,825
Yes.

253
00:13:19,849 --> 00:13:21,577
I've met Spence's mother.

254
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:23,712
I hope it's not a
problem, but...

255
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,604
she speaks English.

256
00:13:27,357 --> 00:13:30,720
Oh, I'd better dump this trash
before it gets too full.

257
00:13:30,744 --> 00:13:32,904
Oh, good eye, good eye.
She's on top of things.

258
00:13:32,928 --> 00:13:34,924
You are a treasure.

259
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:36,214
Oh, stop!

260
00:13:39,202 --> 00:13:43,099
All right, just what in the
hell do you think you're doing?

261
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:45,468
Just giving a senior citizen
a sense of purpose.

262
00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:46,925
Feels good.

263
00:13:49,846 --> 00:13:52,558
Doug, this is ridiculous.
We can't have two maids.

264
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:53,992
I agree. Get rid of yours.

265
00:13:54,016 --> 00:13:55,060
No!

266
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,612
Okay, then, we got two maids.

267
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:58,831
Hey, you know what?
We can race 'em.

268
00:13:58,855 --> 00:14:00,399
Okay, you do understand

269
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:03,085
that we can't afford
to pay two maids?

270
00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:04,203
I don't care.

271
00:14:04,227 --> 00:14:05,004
Okay, you know what?

272
00:14:05,028 --> 00:14:07,290
We can go bankrupt
for all I care.

273
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,875
I would love that.

274
00:14:08,899 --> 00:14:11,461
Good. I hope we end
up living in our car.

275
00:14:11,485 --> 00:14:14,520
Great. Hope your father
likes living on the roof.

276
00:14:27,384 --> 00:14:28,427
¿Más cáfe?

277
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:30,529
Oh, yes. Gracias, Inez.

278
00:14:30,553 --> 00:14:34,266
And by the way, Inez,
this Chile relleno...

279
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,319
is, uh, muy bueno.

280
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:37,920
Gracias. Mm-hm.

281
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:39,945
It's just so cheesy.

282
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:46,746
Veronica!

283
00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:48,097
Yeah? Do you need something?

284
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,999
No, no, no. I just
wanted to let you know

285
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,775
that you've outdone yourself
with tonight's dinner.

286
00:14:53,577 --> 00:14:54,810
It's just fish sticks.

287
00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:59,114
Yeah, but they were
just so fishy.

288
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:04,486
Uh, Doug, could you
pass the salt, please?

289
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,755
Sure.

290
00:15:14,798 --> 00:15:16,598
Thank you.

291
00:15:19,936 --> 00:15:21,930
Well, listen, let me clean up

292
00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:23,666
some of these dirty dishes here-

293
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,735
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.

294
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,269
I'll-I'll clean that right up.

295
00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:29,955
Uh-uh. Th-th-that's okay. That's Mrs.
Heffernan's drink.

296
00:15:29,979 --> 00:15:31,290
Inez will clean that up.

297
00:15:31,314 --> 00:15:33,709
No, Inez. Veronica spilled it.

298
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:36,045
I'm sure she wants to clean it.

299
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,636
No, she doesn't.

300
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,873
Doug, come on-Shh.

301
00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:47,011
This is between the maids now.

302
00:15:49,799 --> 00:15:52,228
All right, could we just
end this now please?

303
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,779
Fine. You know what, Veronica?

304
00:15:53,803 --> 00:15:57,322
I'll be having my Oreos
in the kitchen tonight.

305
00:16:05,915 --> 00:16:07,192
Veronica.

306
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,744
Oh, hey, Arthur.

307
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:10,769
So now you're stalking me.

308
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,482
I'd call the authorities

309
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,217
if I didn't have an
outstanding warrant

310
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:16,441
in New Hampshire.

311
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:18,704
Relax.

312
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,739
Doug hired me to help
around the house.

313
00:16:20,763 --> 00:16:23,248
See? I'm washing out
his work clothes.

314
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:26,979
So am I to understand
you're the maid?

315
00:16:27,003 --> 00:16:28,003
Yeah.

316
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,667
Then as master of the house,

317
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,859
I'll leave you to your duties.

318
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,649
What is it?

319
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:50,676
It's just this sudden
change in circumstances.

320
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,122
I must admit...

321
00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:58,210
I'm finding it
rather titillating.

322
00:16:58,234 --> 00:16:59,462
You do?

323
00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:02,731
Perhaps it's the taboo
of class distinction

324
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:07,192
or the allure or your stern
yet body-hugging uniform.

325
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:12,942
But I'm seeing you in
a whole new light.

326
00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:15,811
Look, Arthur, I was
hired to work here.

327
00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:18,731
Now, any personal
relationship between us

328
00:17:18,755 --> 00:17:21,817
would be totally inappropriate.

329
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:25,510
You know just what to
say to get me going.

330
00:17:39,709 --> 00:17:41,142
Look at this.

331
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:44,907
Apparently, someone
thought doing laundry

332
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:48,901
wasn't as important as
watching Sábado Gigante.

333
00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:57,602
You know what they say. When
life gives you lemons...

334
00:17:57,626 --> 00:18:00,061
you get lemon maid.

335
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,243
Inez, uh, ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿Qué?

336
00:18:05,267 --> 00:18:07,997
What's going on with
the, uh, lavaro here?

337
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:10,282
No Puedo ir abajo.

338
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:12,501
Why can't you go downstairs?
¿Porqué?

339
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:16,839
Porque Veronica siempre
downstairs haciendo

340
00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:19,965
boom-boom con Señor Grandpa.

341
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,750
Do you know what's going on?

342
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,935
Instead of doing her work,

343
00:18:29,959 --> 00:18:34,106
Veronica is downstairs
boom-booming my dad!

344
00:18:34,130 --> 00:18:35,858
What?

345
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:38,760
Yeah! That's why Inez
can't do the laundry.

346
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:41,280
Your maid is ruining my maid.

347
00:18:41,304 --> 00:18:42,631
You're just jealous

348
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:45,991
'cause my maid's willing
to go the extra mile.

349
00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:51,507
Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry I
was downstairs so long.

350
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,632
I had to catch up on my ironing.

351
00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,515
Okay, you know what?

352
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:00,816
I will handle this

353
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,885
just like I handle
everything else around here.

354
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:05,587
So why don't you eat a ring-ding
or a Ho Ho or a hoo-hoo-

355
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:08,390
Whatever the hell it
is you eat now, okay?

356
00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:10,992
Uh, Veronica, it's
pretty obvious

357
00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:14,263
that we have a crazy
thing going on here.

358
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:15,814
But, uh, you've been
doing a great job,

359
00:19:15,838 --> 00:19:17,516
but I'm gonna have
to let you go.

360
00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:19,318
Uh, excuse me. You do not
have that authority.

361
00:19:19,342 --> 00:19:21,186
Yes, I do 'cause I'm the boss.
You're fired.

362
00:19:21,210 --> 00:19:22,487
No, no. You stay right here.

363
00:19:22,511 --> 00:19:24,422
If anybody's getting
the boot, it's her.

364
00:19:24,446 --> 00:19:26,691
Sorry, Inez. You're fired.

365
00:19:26,715 --> 00:19:27,610
¿Qúe?

366
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,611
Oh, God, what is the word here?

367
00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:31,747
The word. Uh...

368
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:34,139
Sorry, Inez. You're confuego.

369
00:19:35,859 --> 00:19:38,210
Okay, idiot. You just
told her she's on fire.

370
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,706
She knows what I mean. Yeah.

371
00:19:40,730 --> 00:19:42,124
Why are you still here?

372
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:43,626
He told me to stay.

373
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:46,618
And I am telling you to
leave, or it is go time.

374
00:19:47,821 --> 00:19:49,498
Go time. Let's go.
Yes, absolutely.

375
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,366
Esto es imposible.

376
00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:54,553
No, no - Yeah, right.
Absolutely.

377
00:19:54,577 --> 00:19:57,873
Sorry. Don't let the, uh,
Puerta hit you in the, uh...

378
00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,498
You know!

379
00:20:05,755 --> 00:20:07,956
Never would've happened
if we got a speedboat.

380
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:16,608
Veronica.

381
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:17,727
Yes?

382
00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:20,596
Do you have a moment to
pop on down to my room?

383
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:21,848
Why?

384
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:24,133
There's something
wrong with my bed.

385
00:20:24,157 --> 00:20:26,185
You're not in it.

386
00:20:26,209 --> 00:20:28,170
We have all the time
in the world now.

387
00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:30,356
Carrie fired me.

388
00:20:30,380 --> 00:20:32,525
So you're no longer the maid?

389
00:20:32,549 --> 00:20:33,609
No.

390
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:37,229
But after all we've shared,

391
00:20:37,253 --> 00:20:39,855
does that really matter now?

392
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:42,474
I'll call you.