1 01:26:58,007 --> 01:26:59,235 I don't believe this. 2 01:26:59,447 --> 01:27:01,403 Why did you pull over? We could've lost him. 3 01:27:01,607 --> 01:27:03,996 Dad, keep quiet and let me handle this, okay? 4 01:27:09,527 --> 01:27:11,404 Hello, ma'am. You know what you did back there? 5 01:27:11,647 --> 01:27:13,763 Look, I know you have to do your little dance, but here. 6 01:27:13,967 --> 01:27:15,286 Let's just get this over with? 7 01:27:15,527 --> 01:27:17,006 You know, we all have to share the road. 8 01:27:17,207 --> 01:27:19,084 - When you drive like that you're- - Yeah, yeah. 9 01:27:19,287 --> 01:27:21,847 Not just a risk to myself, I'm a risk to others. 10 01:27:22,047 --> 01:27:25,483 Listen, I work in a law firm, I know my rights. 11 01:27:25,687 --> 01:27:27,279 Just give me the ticket. 12 01:27:27,887 --> 01:27:29,286 - Okay. - Thanks. 13 01:27:29,487 --> 01:27:32,160 Excuse me, officer? 14 01:27:32,367 --> 01:27:33,402 You ever kill a man? 15 01:27:36,807 --> 01:27:37,762 Dad. 16 01:27:37,967 --> 01:27:39,923 You know, some lowlife you got cornered in an alley. 17 01:27:40,127 --> 01:27:42,687 He's thrown down his gun, he's begging for mercy, 18 01:27:42,927 --> 01:27:45,487 but you empty your clip right into his chest anyway. 19 01:27:45,727 --> 01:27:47,126 You figure, "Who's gonna know, right?" 20 01:27:47,327 --> 01:27:48,999 Oh, you make me sick! 21 01:27:49,247 --> 01:27:50,475 - Sir, I don't- - You know what? 22 01:27:50,727 --> 01:27:52,638 The faster you write, the faster he stops talking. 23 01:27:56,687 --> 01:27:59,884 Guess who bought a token from yours truly today? 24 01:28:00,087 --> 01:28:01,964 - Who? - Guess. 25 01:28:02,167 --> 01:28:03,646 - I don't wanna guess. - Guess. 26 01:28:03,887 --> 01:28:05,764 - I don't wanna play this game. - Just guess. 27 01:28:07,007 --> 01:28:08,998 - Lou Ferrigno. - No. 28 01:28:09,567 --> 01:28:10,682 Sally Struthers. 29 01:28:11,447 --> 01:28:14,359 Ann Landers. Nice lady. Took the L train. 30 01:28:14,567 --> 01:28:15,716 That's a great story. Thanks. 31 01:28:16,967 --> 01:28:19,083 Hey, come on, the game starts in two minutes, let's go. 32 01:28:19,287 --> 01:28:20,800 Why are you in your uniform? I thought you had off today. 33 01:28:21,047 --> 01:28:23,117 I did, but I just came from P.S. 679. 34 01:28:23,327 --> 01:28:25,204 I was talking to some kids about fire safety. 35 01:28:25,447 --> 01:28:26,800 UntiI 6:30? 36 01:28:27,047 --> 01:28:28,765 Yeah, well, the teacher kept me after schooI, 37 01:28:28,967 --> 01:28:31,083 if you get my drift. 38 01:28:31,447 --> 01:28:32,596 She has no controI over you. 39 01:28:32,807 --> 01:28:34,399 You're not a student. 40 01:28:35,567 --> 01:28:38,798 You are like a boy in a man's body. 41 01:28:39,007 --> 01:28:40,998 - Hey. - Hey. 42 01:28:41,807 --> 01:28:44,685 Who you guys supposed to be, the Village People? 43 01:28:46,767 --> 01:28:47,756 Hey, fellows. 44 01:28:47,967 --> 01:28:50,162 Dougie, your wife and I had a little run-in with the law. 45 01:28:50,407 --> 01:28:52,204 I'm still all hopped up. 46 01:28:52,407 --> 01:28:54,159 I'm gonna go do some Tae Bo. 47 01:28:56,887 --> 01:28:58,036 What happened? 48 01:28:58,287 --> 01:28:59,356 I got a ticket. 49 01:28:59,607 --> 01:29:00,562 Another one? 50 01:29:00,767 --> 01:29:03,440 Doug, I'm really not in the mood for a lecture right now. 51 01:29:03,687 --> 01:29:05,439 - You got another ticket? - That's what I said. 52 01:29:05,647 --> 01:29:07,603 - Well, how much? - Three hundred and fifty dollars. 53 01:29:07,807 --> 01:29:09,957 - Let me see the ticket. - Here. Enjoy. 54 01:29:10,167 --> 01:29:12,727 "Wanton disregard for public safety"? 55 01:29:12,887 --> 01:29:15,355 Honey, I warned you not to be wanton. What happened? 56 01:29:15,567 --> 01:29:16,716 Nothing. 57 01:29:16,927 --> 01:29:19,964 I cut off a schooI bus to make a U-turn. 58 01:29:20,207 --> 01:29:21,401 You cut off a schooI bus? 59 01:29:21,647 --> 01:29:24,847 They were fifth-graders, it's not like they were in kindergarten. 60 01:29:24,882 --> 01:29:26,838 They know how the world works. 61 01:29:27,047 --> 01:29:28,446 That's your fourth ticket this year. 62 01:29:28,647 --> 01:29:30,365 Doug, this one was not my fault. 63 01:29:30,567 --> 01:29:32,319 Oh, not your fault? Then whose fault was it? 64 01:29:32,527 --> 01:29:34,643 Okay, well, for your information, 65 01:29:34,847 --> 01:29:38,078 the bus had all these stupid keep-kids-off-drugs stickers 66 01:29:38,287 --> 01:29:39,959 on the back window, it was very distracting. 67 01:29:40,167 --> 01:29:43,239 Right, like last time, when you were blinded by that guy's brake lights. 68 01:29:43,487 --> 01:29:45,318 Oh, like you're the perfect driver. 69 01:29:45,527 --> 01:29:47,438 Yeah, yeah. I have a perfect driving record! 70 01:29:47,647 --> 01:29:49,922 That doesn't mean anything! 71 01:29:54,727 --> 01:29:55,955 Oh, here's some delightfuI news. 72 01:29:56,167 --> 01:29:58,044 I just got off the phone with our insurance agent, 73 01:29:58,247 --> 01:30:01,045 and if that ticket goes through, our rates are gonna double. 74 01:30:01,247 --> 01:30:02,475 Double. 75 01:30:03,487 --> 01:30:06,206 Times two. 76 01:30:06,767 --> 01:30:09,361 Well, did you tell them about the stickers on the bus? 77 01:30:09,607 --> 01:30:10,881 Are you listening to me? 78 01:30:11,087 --> 01:30:13,726 Forty-five hundred dollars a year for car insurance. 79 01:30:13,967 --> 01:30:16,197 That's- We should be buying a boat for that kind of money. 80 01:30:16,407 --> 01:30:18,967 I should be setting saiI every weekend. 81 01:30:19,367 --> 01:30:21,403 If I buy you a boat, will you shut up? 82 01:30:22,327 --> 01:30:23,282 Do you know what you are? 83 01:30:23,487 --> 01:30:25,045 It's right here in our insurance pamphlet. 84 01:30:25,247 --> 01:30:27,807 You are a "persistent violator. " 85 01:30:28,007 --> 01:30:32,000 That means you violate persistently. 86 01:30:32,487 --> 01:30:34,239 Honey, are these yours or my dad's? 87 01:30:34,487 --> 01:30:35,442 No, they're your dad's. 88 01:30:35,647 --> 01:30:38,525 And I told you, don't let his underwear touch my underwear. 89 01:30:41,647 --> 01:30:43,239 Hello? 90 01:30:43,447 --> 01:30:45,165 Yeah, this is Carrie. 91 01:30:46,967 --> 01:30:48,320 Hi. 92 01:30:50,007 --> 01:30:51,884 Oh, you know what? I'm really busy. 93 01:30:52,087 --> 01:30:54,157 I don't think I can. 94 01:30:54,647 --> 01:30:56,365 No, I can't. 95 01:30:56,567 --> 01:30:57,682 Okay then. 96 01:30:57,887 --> 01:31:00,355 - Bye-bye. - Who was that? 97 01:31:00,607 --> 01:31:03,360 That was the cop who pulled me over today. 98 01:31:03,567 --> 01:31:05,683 Claims he's thinking about applying to law schooI, 99 01:31:05,887 --> 01:31:08,037 and since he knows I work in a law firm, 100 01:31:08,247 --> 01:31:10,397 he wanted to take me to dinner to pick my brain. 101 01:31:10,607 --> 01:31:11,562 - Really? - Yeah. 102 01:31:11,767 --> 01:31:13,723 I mean, it was so obvious he was calling for a date. 103 01:31:13,927 --> 01:31:15,155 Could you believe that? 104 01:31:15,407 --> 01:31:18,319 - He didn't see your wedding ring? - No, I was wearing gloves. 105 01:31:18,567 --> 01:31:21,639 Hey, I got asked out on a date. 106 01:31:24,407 --> 01:31:26,602 Right, right. 107 01:31:27,087 --> 01:31:28,361 What's the matter? 108 01:31:28,607 --> 01:31:30,279 - No, I was just thinking. - What? 109 01:31:30,527 --> 01:31:31,482 Don't kill me now. 110 01:31:31,687 --> 01:31:33,803 Maybe you should have dinner with this guy. 111 01:31:34,887 --> 01:31:37,242 You want me to go on a date? 112 01:31:37,447 --> 01:31:39,039 No, not a date, as far as you're concerned, 113 01:31:39,247 --> 01:31:40,839 it's just a dinner to discuss law stuff. 114 01:31:41,087 --> 01:31:44,602 But then, while you're eating, you guys talk, you smile, you laugh. 115 01:31:44,807 --> 01:31:47,162 I mean, the night is just magic. 116 01:31:49,047 --> 01:31:51,322 Then, next week, when you go to court to contest the ticket, 117 01:31:51,527 --> 01:31:54,360 he doesn't show up to testify because he's sweet on you. 118 01:31:54,567 --> 01:31:56,478 And, bye-bye ticket. 119 01:31:56,687 --> 01:31:57,802 It's a perfect plan. 120 01:32:00,007 --> 01:32:02,077 - Is this guy good-looking? - Not really. 121 01:32:02,327 --> 01:32:03,999 It's a perfect plan. 122 01:32:05,367 --> 01:32:06,846 So that's what I'm worth? 123 01:32:07,047 --> 01:32:11,086 You're willing to pimp me out to save $4,500? 124 01:32:11,287 --> 01:32:13,847 No, $4,500 a year. 125 01:32:15,327 --> 01:32:17,238 It takes five years to get a ticket off our record, 126 01:32:17,447 --> 01:32:20,359 and that's if you never get another one, and let's face it, honey, you will. 127 01:32:20,567 --> 01:32:22,922 So actually, I'm pimping you out for a minimum of $20,000. 128 01:32:23,127 --> 01:32:24,082 That's minimum. 129 01:32:25,527 --> 01:32:26,596 I don't know. This is crazy. 130 01:32:26,807 --> 01:32:29,719 I mean, what if he calls after the date, and wants to go out again? 131 01:32:29,967 --> 01:32:31,446 You just put him off untiI after court. 132 01:32:31,647 --> 01:32:32,602 You let him down easy. 133 01:32:32,807 --> 01:32:35,844 You tell him you met somebody. A big fat guy. 134 01:32:36,527 --> 01:32:38,040 Can we really do this? 135 01:32:38,287 --> 01:32:40,357 Of course we can. Hey, you're an attractive woman. 136 01:32:40,567 --> 01:32:43,035 We knew we'd have to use that sometime. 137 01:32:45,647 --> 01:32:46,602 All right. 138 01:32:46,807 --> 01:32:48,035 But he's not getting up my shirt. 139 01:32:48,247 --> 01:32:51,000 Hey, hey, hey. Play it by ear. 140 01:32:57,927 --> 01:33:00,202 So anyway, me and the teacher are back in the classroom, 141 01:33:00,407 --> 01:33:02,796 getting into it, right on the desk. 142 01:33:03,047 --> 01:33:06,198 I look up over the blackboard and I see the alphabet. 143 01:33:06,407 --> 01:33:08,967 You know, A is for "apple," B is for "balloon"... 144 01:33:09,127 --> 01:33:11,083 You get what I'm saying, right? 145 01:33:11,327 --> 01:33:14,000 Yes, I'm familiar with the alphabet. 146 01:33:14,207 --> 01:33:18,598 Right, so everything's going fine untiI I get to M, which is for "mommy. " 147 01:33:18,847 --> 01:33:20,121 Oh, that was that, huh? 148 01:33:20,367 --> 01:33:22,756 I pushed through to walrus. 149 01:33:26,407 --> 01:33:28,477 Okay. See you guys later. 150 01:33:28,727 --> 01:33:30,638 Don't wanna be late for my date. 151 01:33:30,847 --> 01:33:32,644 Whoa, whoa, honey, that's what you're wearing? 152 01:33:32,887 --> 01:33:34,605 Yes. Why? 153 01:33:34,847 --> 01:33:38,601 You couldn't wear something that at least shows a little wrist? 154 01:33:40,207 --> 01:33:42,038 What do you suggest? 155 01:33:42,287 --> 01:33:44,243 Okay, we want something that says, "I'm attractive," 156 01:33:44,447 --> 01:33:46,085 but doesn't look like she's trying too hard. 157 01:33:46,287 --> 01:33:47,879 What about overalls and a tank top? 158 01:33:48,087 --> 01:33:51,124 It's too casuaI. Let's keep in mind, this is a dinner. 159 01:33:51,327 --> 01:33:53,636 I like this. 160 01:33:53,887 --> 01:33:55,286 That is my nightgown. 161 01:33:57,207 --> 01:33:59,767 Well, how about like a skirt and a top? 162 01:33:59,967 --> 01:34:01,958 Okay, what do you see? What do you like? 163 01:34:02,167 --> 01:34:04,123 Oh, Moose, high-heeled boots. 164 01:34:04,327 --> 01:34:06,716 - We gotta get her into these. - All right, good, good. 165 01:34:06,927 --> 01:34:11,478 This sweater is nice, but how do you feeI about navy? 166 01:34:11,687 --> 01:34:13,245 I'm not loving it. 167 01:34:13,447 --> 01:34:16,803 - You got a Catholic schooI uniform-? - Okay, that's it. Out! Get out! Get out! 168 01:34:17,007 --> 01:34:19,396 I will do it myself! Thank you very much. Goodbye. 169 01:34:19,607 --> 01:34:21,677 Thank you. Thank you. 170 01:34:21,887 --> 01:34:23,286 Make sure your bra and panties match. 171 01:34:23,487 --> 01:34:25,159 Get out! 172 01:34:32,647 --> 01:34:34,205 Where you going, honey? 173 01:34:34,407 --> 01:34:36,841 That cop who gave me a ticket asked me to have dinner with him. 174 01:34:37,087 --> 01:34:38,042 Really? 175 01:34:38,247 --> 01:34:40,238 Yeah. Good night, Daddy. 176 01:34:40,447 --> 01:34:42,403 Oh, my God. 177 01:34:43,247 --> 01:34:44,521 All right, now we're talking. 178 01:34:44,727 --> 01:34:46,638 Much better, huh? 179 01:34:46,887 --> 01:34:47,842 Very nice. 180 01:34:48,047 --> 01:34:49,526 I would do her. 181 01:34:50,207 --> 01:34:52,516 Huh, Richie would do you? 182 01:34:52,727 --> 01:34:54,604 Later on, remind me to head-butt you. 183 01:34:56,327 --> 01:34:58,363 - Can I go now? - Yeah, yeah, you don't wanna be late. 184 01:34:58,567 --> 01:35:01,525 Just remember, be yourself, and also a little charming. 185 01:35:01,767 --> 01:35:04,235 That didn't come out right. 186 01:35:04,487 --> 01:35:05,602 Goodbye. 187 01:35:05,807 --> 01:35:07,126 Oh, wait! Oh, wait! 188 01:35:07,327 --> 01:35:08,840 Your wedding ring. 189 01:35:09,207 --> 01:35:11,767 Right. Well, I'm not taking it off. 190 01:35:12,007 --> 01:35:13,884 You can't go on a date wearing your wedding ring. 191 01:35:14,087 --> 01:35:15,600 It's kind of a turnoff. 192 01:35:16,447 --> 01:35:18,358 Well, then, fine, I'm not going. 193 01:35:18,567 --> 01:35:19,682 What? 194 01:35:19,887 --> 01:35:23,766 Doug, look, I got a ticket, I endangered lives: 195 01:35:23,967 --> 01:35:26,083 So I've been trying to be a good sport about this. 196 01:35:26,287 --> 01:35:29,040 But this ring is the most precious thing in the world to me, 197 01:35:29,247 --> 01:35:32,487 and I'm not gonna take it off to get out of some stupid traffic ticket. 198 01:35:32,522 --> 01:35:34,284 And I'll tell you something else, little Dougie, 199 01:35:34,487 --> 01:35:36,637 I'm a little aggravated that you would even want me to. 200 01:35:37,327 --> 01:35:39,966 All right, you're right. I'm sorry. I love you. 201 01:35:40,207 --> 01:35:41,401 So how'd you break your finger? 202 01:35:45,007 --> 01:35:47,919 Playing some hoop. Just throwing down. 203 01:35:48,167 --> 01:35:49,839 - That's gotta hurt. Yeah. - Oh, yeah. 204 01:35:50,047 --> 01:35:52,436 Listen, Carrie, thanks a lot for coming out tonight. 205 01:35:53,527 --> 01:35:56,246 Happy to talk about law firms. Anytime, anywhere. 206 01:35:56,487 --> 01:35:59,604 I have a confession to make. That wasn't the only reason I called. 207 01:35:59,807 --> 01:36:01,160 I... 208 01:36:01,367 --> 01:36:03,323 I sort of wanted to see you again. 209 01:36:03,567 --> 01:36:04,522 Oh, that's nice. 210 01:36:04,727 --> 01:36:07,321 Do you think they have blintzes here? 211 01:36:07,567 --> 01:36:09,922 I've never actually asked out a woman I've pulled over before. 212 01:36:10,127 --> 01:36:11,719 I was really nervous when I called you. 213 01:36:12,487 --> 01:36:15,126 You didn't just say yes to get out of the ticket, did you? 214 01:36:18,487 --> 01:36:22,366 No, I didn't just say yes to get out of the ticket. 215 01:36:23,407 --> 01:36:25,125 But, hey, my insurance rates are gonna double, 216 01:36:25,327 --> 01:36:26,885 so if you're offering, buddy... 217 01:36:34,127 --> 01:36:37,563 So are you involved with anyone? 218 01:36:37,767 --> 01:36:38,722 You have a boyfriend? 219 01:36:39,767 --> 01:36:41,280 I'm sorry, what? 220 01:36:43,007 --> 01:36:44,599 Do you have a boyfriend? 221 01:36:46,567 --> 01:36:47,841 No. 222 01:36:48,047 --> 01:36:49,480 No boyfriend. 223 01:36:49,727 --> 01:36:50,716 Great. 224 01:36:56,887 --> 01:36:58,957 Hey, Arthur. 225 01:37:08,767 --> 01:37:10,280 Oh, my... 226 01:37:12,527 --> 01:37:15,485 Don't give her up without a fight, son. 227 01:37:20,527 --> 01:37:21,482 Get out! 228 01:37:21,687 --> 01:37:23,917 No, seriously, I didn't even read the guy's Miranda rights. 229 01:37:24,127 --> 01:37:25,765 Luckily, he didn't even know what they were. 230 01:37:25,967 --> 01:37:27,286 Oh, my God. 231 01:37:33,247 --> 01:37:35,203 Well, this is me. 232 01:37:35,407 --> 01:37:36,681 Don't forget your ravioli. 233 01:37:36,887 --> 01:37:38,479 Thanks. 234 01:37:39,047 --> 01:37:40,685 Carrie, you know this was great. 235 01:37:40,887 --> 01:37:41,842 You know what I'll do? 236 01:37:42,047 --> 01:37:44,766 Why don't I call you tomorrow? Maybe we could do this again. 237 01:37:45,767 --> 01:37:48,645 Yeah-no-okay. 238 01:37:50,567 --> 01:37:51,602 So... 239 01:37:51,847 --> 01:37:53,405 So... 240 01:37:55,127 --> 01:37:57,516 Hey, good date, good date. 241 01:37:58,687 --> 01:38:01,440 Good night. I had a great time. 242 01:38:02,127 --> 01:38:03,685 Thank you, Jeffrey. 243 01:38:03,887 --> 01:38:05,400 Good night. 244 01:38:06,127 --> 01:38:08,118 Hey, drive carefully. 245 01:38:19,687 --> 01:38:20,642 I'm back. 246 01:38:20,847 --> 01:38:22,485 So? So tell me everything. 247 01:38:22,687 --> 01:38:25,247 What did he say? What did you say back? 248 01:38:27,007 --> 01:38:27,962 We had a good time. 249 01:38:28,167 --> 01:38:29,122 Yes! 250 01:38:29,327 --> 01:38:30,442 And here, leftovers. 251 01:38:30,687 --> 01:38:32,325 Yes! 252 01:38:35,007 --> 01:38:37,202 So, what about the ticket? Did he mention it at all? 253 01:38:37,447 --> 01:38:38,516 Yeah. 254 01:38:38,727 --> 01:38:41,287 I was trying to feeI him out, but he just laughed. 255 01:38:41,487 --> 01:38:44,240 He laughed? Was it like a I'm-not-gonna-show-up-in-court laugh, 256 01:38:44,447 --> 01:38:47,086 or more of a nice-try- but-you're-not-getting-off laugh? 257 01:38:47,967 --> 01:38:49,366 I don't know, I was too busy with my: 258 01:38:49,567 --> 01:38:53,037 Gee-I-hope-this-guy- doesn't-try-to-sleep-with-me chuckle. 259 01:38:54,487 --> 01:38:56,955 I'm just trying to get a gauge of where he's at, that's all. 260 01:38:57,567 --> 01:38:59,478 So, what did he think of your outfit? 261 01:38:59,687 --> 01:39:00,642 I don't know. 262 01:39:00,847 --> 01:39:02,599 Come on, it's important. 263 01:39:02,807 --> 01:39:05,958 - He said I looked beautifuI, okay? - Yeah, up top! 264 01:39:08,447 --> 01:39:10,597 Need to be carefuI with my broken finger. 265 01:39:11,607 --> 01:39:13,359 Got to admit, that was a great idea I had, huh? 266 01:39:13,847 --> 01:39:14,996 It was Richie's idea. 267 01:39:15,247 --> 01:39:17,966 No, Richie suggested we break your finger. 268 01:39:19,927 --> 01:39:21,804 That was my jumping-off point. 269 01:39:22,287 --> 01:39:24,482 So sounds like things are going pretty good, huh? 270 01:39:24,687 --> 01:39:25,881 Yeah, really good, Doug. 271 01:39:26,127 --> 01:39:30,200 I tricked a sweet, unsuspecting guy into liking me. 272 01:39:30,407 --> 01:39:33,205 When he calls tomorrow, I'm just gonna tell him the truth. 273 01:39:33,447 --> 01:39:34,766 What? No. 274 01:39:35,007 --> 01:39:36,725 Doug, he's a really nice guy. 275 01:39:36,967 --> 01:39:38,685 He's not a nice guy. He's a copper. The fuzz. 276 01:39:38,887 --> 01:39:40,878 He'd throw you in jaiI as soon as look at you. 277 01:39:42,527 --> 01:39:44,119 Stop it. 278 01:39:44,367 --> 01:39:46,483 Carrie, come on, please, you're killing me here. 279 01:39:46,687 --> 01:39:48,040 We're so close. 280 01:39:48,247 --> 01:39:51,284 The court date is next week. Just avoid his calls untiI then. 281 01:39:51,527 --> 01:39:53,483 - I don't know. - Forty-five hundred dollars a year. 282 01:39:53,687 --> 01:39:54,836 And it wasn't even your fault. 283 01:39:55,047 --> 01:39:57,038 That schooI bus with all the distracting stickers. 284 01:39:57,287 --> 01:40:00,404 I mean, I'm against drugs, but at what cost, really? 285 01:40:02,247 --> 01:40:05,398 - All right, I'll string him along. - AttagirI. 286 01:40:05,607 --> 01:40:08,485 I just hate playing with this guy's feelings like this. 287 01:40:08,687 --> 01:40:11,326 I hear you. God. 288 01:40:13,567 --> 01:40:17,242 Here I am eating ravioli he paid for. You think that's easy for me? 289 01:40:24,167 --> 01:40:25,202 Hey, Dad. 290 01:40:25,447 --> 01:40:27,039 Hi, sweetheart. 291 01:40:27,847 --> 01:40:30,884 You have no new messages. 292 01:40:34,567 --> 01:40:35,556 Anybody call? 293 01:40:35,807 --> 01:40:36,762 Nope. 294 01:40:36,967 --> 01:40:39,800 Why? You expecting a call from someone in particular? 295 01:40:41,007 --> 01:40:43,077 Oh, yeah. The cop said he'd call me. 296 01:40:43,287 --> 01:40:46,085 Carrie, sit down. We need to talk. 297 01:40:46,607 --> 01:40:48,120 Okay. 298 01:40:48,327 --> 01:40:49,840 What's up? 299 01:40:50,047 --> 01:40:52,959 Honey, I know Doug has his shortcomings. 300 01:40:53,167 --> 01:40:54,486 I've assumed for a while 301 01:40:54,687 --> 01:40:58,566 that he wasn't satisfying all your needs. 302 01:40:59,567 --> 01:41:00,636 What? 303 01:41:01,127 --> 01:41:04,278 Look, I never talked to you very much about sex, and that's my fault. 304 01:41:04,487 --> 01:41:06,125 That's gonna change, I promise. 305 01:41:06,927 --> 01:41:09,885 But Doug is a good man. He is! 306 01:41:10,847 --> 01:41:12,485 Oh, you think the cop and I are...? 307 01:41:12,727 --> 01:41:14,285 No, Dad, that's not for reaI. 308 01:41:14,487 --> 01:41:16,762 I just went to dinner with him to get out of that ticket. 309 01:41:17,007 --> 01:41:19,760 You don't have to shield me from this. I'm a big boy. 310 01:41:20,007 --> 01:41:21,076 I'm telling you the truth. 311 01:41:21,327 --> 01:41:22,282 You're shutting me out! 312 01:41:22,487 --> 01:41:24,045 For God's sakes, take a look at yourself! 313 01:41:24,247 --> 01:41:27,125 You're pale, you're gaunt, you sleep the whole day! 314 01:41:27,327 --> 01:41:29,045 You're killing yourself! 315 01:41:30,807 --> 01:41:33,275 Oh, wait, that's my drug speech. 316 01:41:33,527 --> 01:41:35,643 Give me ten minutes. 317 01:41:49,007 --> 01:41:50,565 Hello? 318 01:41:51,407 --> 01:41:53,875 No, there's no Brenda here. 319 01:41:54,407 --> 01:41:57,046 Yeah, that's okay. Bye. 320 01:41:58,207 --> 01:41:59,196 Hey, hon. 321 01:41:59,407 --> 01:42:01,967 - Hey, Carrie. - Hi. 322 01:42:04,047 --> 01:42:05,605 She okay? 323 01:42:05,807 --> 01:42:09,800 No, Richie, I am not okay, because all men are pigs. 324 01:42:12,247 --> 01:42:14,477 You mind if I make a sandwich? 325 01:42:14,727 --> 01:42:16,080 Fine. 326 01:42:16,287 --> 01:42:17,481 So he still hasn't called? 327 01:42:17,687 --> 01:42:19,803 No, and it's been three days. 328 01:42:20,007 --> 01:42:22,475 Yikes. I hope he's just been busy. 329 01:42:22,687 --> 01:42:25,042 You know, why'd he say he's gonna call if he's not gonna call? 330 01:42:25,247 --> 01:42:26,362 What is it with you guys? 331 01:42:26,607 --> 01:42:29,201 You didn't have a good time, fine, just don't say you're gonna call. 332 01:42:29,407 --> 01:42:30,886 Hate that. 333 01:42:33,727 --> 01:42:36,400 I should've let him order the wine. 334 01:42:36,767 --> 01:42:38,439 What do you care? It was a fake date. 335 01:42:38,687 --> 01:42:41,121 He didn't know that. 336 01:42:41,327 --> 01:42:44,080 I just keep going over it again and again in my head. 337 01:42:44,287 --> 01:42:46,482 I mean, we had a really good time. 338 01:42:46,687 --> 01:42:49,918 I was funny. I was on, you know? 339 01:42:50,127 --> 01:42:51,879 I even told him my Uncle Frank story. 340 01:42:52,127 --> 01:42:53,526 You told him the Uncle Frank story? 341 01:42:53,727 --> 01:42:55,524 No wonder he's not calling. 342 01:42:56,247 --> 01:42:57,999 What? It's a funny story. 343 01:42:58,207 --> 01:43:00,641 He burns his lips on the pizza tray. That's not funny? 344 01:43:00,887 --> 01:43:03,720 Yeah, an old man with burnt lips. Very funny. 345 01:43:03,967 --> 01:43:05,923 Well, you laughed when I told it to you. 346 01:43:06,167 --> 01:43:09,682 Yeah, it was our fifth date. I was trying to, you know, get a go at you. 347 01:43:11,327 --> 01:43:13,045 So why isn't he? 348 01:43:13,287 --> 01:43:15,243 You should've worn the nightgown. 349 01:43:15,487 --> 01:43:17,125 Oh, shut up. 350 01:43:18,487 --> 01:43:22,799 I guess I'm just boring and ugly and destined to end up alone. 351 01:43:25,727 --> 01:43:27,604 You know, with you. 352 01:43:28,807 --> 01:43:30,240 All right, where does that leave us? 353 01:43:30,447 --> 01:43:33,996 He dropped 50 bucks and he had to suffer through your stories, 354 01:43:34,207 --> 01:43:35,640 so he's gonna show up in court tomorrow 355 01:43:35,847 --> 01:43:37,678 and probably not in a good mood. 356 01:43:37,927 --> 01:43:39,565 - Doug. - What? 357 01:43:39,807 --> 01:43:42,367 I'm feeling rejected and insecure and you don't even care. 358 01:43:42,567 --> 01:43:43,795 No, I do, I do, I do. Come here. 359 01:43:44,007 --> 01:43:47,283 You're great and it's his loss. 360 01:43:47,847 --> 01:43:49,599 Moose, I don't know what you're worried about. 361 01:43:49,807 --> 01:43:50,842 If this cop ain't into her, 362 01:43:51,047 --> 01:43:53,277 there ain't no way that he's gonna show up for court. 363 01:43:53,727 --> 01:43:55,319 What do you mean? 364 01:43:57,687 --> 01:43:59,484 I mean, that if you go out on a date with a girI 365 01:43:59,687 --> 01:44:02,645 and you blow her off after one date, you definitely don't wanna run into her. 366 01:44:02,847 --> 01:44:03,802 It's awkward. 367 01:44:04,047 --> 01:44:05,685 You're right. He's right. You're right. 368 01:44:05,887 --> 01:44:07,957 He's never gonna show up in court. He doesn't like you. 369 01:44:08,167 --> 01:44:10,965 He's blowing you off! Yeah, up high! 370 01:44:15,287 --> 01:44:17,164 Can we just go? We're gonna be late. 371 01:44:17,367 --> 01:44:19,278 Let's just review one more time. 372 01:44:20,527 --> 01:44:25,476 I was behind the schooI bus driving ten to 12 miles an hour, 373 01:44:25,727 --> 01:44:27,718 reading, and agreeing with, 374 01:44:27,967 --> 01:44:31,755 an anti-drug message on the back windows, 375 01:44:32,007 --> 01:44:34,805 when suddenly, the sunlight reflected off the stickers 376 01:44:35,007 --> 01:44:37,077 and momentarily blinded me. 377 01:44:37,287 --> 01:44:40,518 Fearing the bus may stop suddenly, I thought it best to swerve- 378 01:44:40,767 --> 01:44:44,362 No, no, not swerve. Navigate. 379 01:44:45,687 --> 01:44:49,441 To navigate around it so as to not cause injury 380 01:44:49,647 --> 01:44:52,684 to the precious cargo on board, the children. 381 01:44:52,927 --> 01:44:54,485 Yeah, just don't forget to take that pause 382 01:44:54,687 --> 01:44:58,043 before you say "the children. " 383 01:44:58,287 --> 01:44:59,481 Let's go. 384 01:45:03,247 --> 01:45:04,680 Hello? 385 01:45:04,927 --> 01:45:06,406 Who's calling? 386 01:45:06,607 --> 01:45:08,245 It's him. 387 01:45:10,207 --> 01:45:11,196 Who is this? 388 01:45:11,447 --> 01:45:13,756 This is Carrie's brother, Doug. 389 01:45:14,007 --> 01:45:15,076 Hey, Doug, is she there? 390 01:45:15,327 --> 01:45:17,443 Sure she is, just a second. 391 01:45:17,687 --> 01:45:19,325 Car? 392 01:45:20,167 --> 01:45:22,920 Tell him I'll call him back when I get a chance. 393 01:45:23,127 --> 01:45:25,687 Come on, Carrie, there's a lot of money involved here. 394 01:45:25,887 --> 01:45:27,923 Try to get a feeI whether he's coming to court or not. 395 01:45:28,167 --> 01:45:31,000 Still trying to find her. 396 01:45:31,247 --> 01:45:34,125 Hey, Doug, just tell her, please, that I'm sorry that I haven't called. 397 01:45:34,327 --> 01:45:36,522 I had to go undercover on a drug stakeout. 398 01:45:36,767 --> 01:45:37,916 Oh, okay. 399 01:45:38,167 --> 01:45:40,442 He hasn't called because he's been on a stakeout. 400 01:45:41,207 --> 01:45:44,722 And I suppose there are no phones on this stakeout? 401 01:45:44,967 --> 01:45:47,242 No, they're not. They're not allowed to make personaI calls. 402 01:45:47,447 --> 01:45:49,642 I saw it on a show. 403 01:45:50,407 --> 01:45:52,318 Come on, take it. 404 01:45:55,287 --> 01:45:56,515 Hello? 405 01:45:56,727 --> 01:45:57,921 Hey, you. 406 01:45:58,127 --> 01:46:01,005 I was just telling your brother there that the reason I hadn't called 407 01:46:01,207 --> 01:46:03,357 is because I was on a stakeout. 408 01:46:03,567 --> 01:46:05,205 A stakeout, huh? 409 01:46:05,407 --> 01:46:07,284 How's that? 410 01:46:07,487 --> 01:46:10,877 Not so good, actually. I almost got shot. 411 01:46:12,407 --> 01:46:15,240 Give him something. Come on. 412 01:46:15,447 --> 01:46:18,086 I'm glad you didn't get shot. 413 01:46:18,607 --> 01:46:20,757 Thanks. I was... 414 01:46:20,967 --> 01:46:24,880 Carrie, I was wondering if maybe you'd wanna go out again sometime. 415 01:46:26,047 --> 01:46:27,321 He wants to go out again. 416 01:46:27,567 --> 01:46:30,161 Set a date for this weekend, then after court, you'll canceI. 417 01:46:31,887 --> 01:46:33,957 I think I could do something on... 418 01:46:34,167 --> 01:46:35,122 Hello? 419 01:46:35,327 --> 01:46:36,726 Hello? 420 01:46:36,927 --> 01:46:39,282 Dad? Dad, what are you doing? 421 01:46:39,487 --> 01:46:43,196 I hit the auto-diaI button, I can't stop it. 422 01:46:43,407 --> 01:46:46,843 Okay, hang up, I'm on an important call. 423 01:46:47,047 --> 01:46:48,480 Is it that guy? 424 01:46:48,687 --> 01:46:50,678 That home wrecker? 425 01:46:51,207 --> 01:46:52,276 Leave her alone, bub! 426 01:46:52,487 --> 01:46:54,682 She's married! 427 01:46:57,527 --> 01:46:59,245 You're married? 428 01:47:00,007 --> 01:47:01,759 Yeah. 429 01:47:01,967 --> 01:47:04,037 But no boyfriend. 430 01:47:08,727 --> 01:47:12,436 Wow, he really made a point of showing up, didn't he? 431 01:47:12,647 --> 01:47:15,002 I think he got his uniform pressed. 432 01:47:15,207 --> 01:47:17,767 And that speech he gave on the witness stand. 433 01:47:18,007 --> 01:47:19,281 It was so passionate. 434 01:47:19,487 --> 01:47:21,955 I mean, I was against you by the end of it. 435 01:47:23,207 --> 01:47:25,960 But you know what? I mean, it's just money. 436 01:47:26,167 --> 01:47:28,158 The important thing is that we get to sleep 437 01:47:28,367 --> 01:47:29,880 in each other's arms every night. 438 01:47:30,127 --> 01:47:34,917 And in a certain way, that makes us the richest people on earth. 439 01:47:35,647 --> 01:47:37,638 You suck at driving. 440 01:47:54,407 --> 01:47:55,999 Go. Go. 441 01:47:56,207 --> 01:47:57,435 Love each other.