1
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,194
Season's greetings!
2
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,417
Hey.
3
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:22,499
Oh, God. The reindeer sweater?
4
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,800
That's right.
5
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:26,870
Look at it. Don't look away.
6
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:29,606
I can't help it.
It frightens me.
7
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:31,608
Hey, come on. I've had
it since the 11th grade.
8
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:32,609
What's wrong with it?
9
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,078
Have you looked in a mirror?
10
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:36,679
It's okay. I know
the rules, all right?
11
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,482
Don't wear it out of the house,
12
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,317
don't wear it to
any holiday parties,
13
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:44,587
and if anybody comes
over, I have to run upstairs.
14
00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:46,789
What's that on the
back of your arm?
15
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:47,979
Hmm?
16
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:52,729
Oh, what do you know?
17
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:54,564
Candy cane.
18
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,656
A little gift from
some Christmas past.
19
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,604
You're not actually
gonna eat that, are you?
20
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:03,673
Have I made a decision? No.
21
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:05,509
Am I intrigued?
22
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,777
Certainly.
23
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:09,081
Give me that.
24
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:12,815
That's all right.
25
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,206
There might be others.
26
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,822
♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪
27
00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:22,759
♪ My back is gettin' tight ♪
28
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,627
♪ I'm sittin' here in traffic ♪
29
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:27,564
♪ On the Queensboro
Bridge Tonight ♪
30
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:32,802
♪ But I don't care
'Cause all I want to do ♪
31
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:38,575
♪ Is cash my check and
drive Right home to you ♪
32
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:44,570
♪ 'Cause, baby, all my life I
will be drivin' home to you ♪
33
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:54,691
I can't believe this.
34
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,593
Can't believe what?
What happened?
35
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,129
Those fancy-shmancy
neighbors across the street
36
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,697
are what happened!
37
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,499
I'm so angry I could spit!
38
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:05,569
Okay, mission accomplished.
39
00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:07,937
Dad, now just calm down
and tell me what happened.
40
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,440
I put a wreath on our
front door last night,
41
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:13,176
and now I come home to
find one twice the size of ours
42
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,145
hanging on the Rinaldis' door.
43
00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:16,279
So?
44
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:17,747
So? It's a snub!
45
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:20,117
It's their way of saying,
"look at us, world,
46
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:23,753
we're richer than those
schnooks across the street!"
47
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:26,945
How dare they flaunt
their wealth at us. Ugh!
48
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:32,095
Wealth? Dad,
Mr. Rinaldi drives a cab,
49
00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:33,530
and his wife works
for Easter Seals.
50
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,465
Yeah, and they're
gonna make sure
51
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,567
everyone in the
neighborhood knows it.
52
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,702
Well, honey, the Rinaldis
are about to look directly
53
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,704
into the mouth of hell!
54
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:44,774
Dad, dad, can't you just
take a white pill and a blue pill
55
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,510
and leave this alone?
56
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,445
Oh, I will take those pills,
57
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,349
but I will not leave this alone.
58
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,019
Hey. Hey.
59
00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:59,022
Want to help me
wrap a little bit?
60
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,890
Uh, sure. But, uh...
61
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:03,126
I think we need to
have a little talk first.
62
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:05,795
What? What happened?
Is everything okay?
63
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,631
Oh, it's just that today, uh,
64
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:09,699
at work, out of the blue,
65
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,969
I get called into supervisor
O'Boyle's office and, uh...
66
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,771
And... and what?
67
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,239
Uh, he just handed me
68
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:19,064
this $3,000 Christmas bonus!
69
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:24,113
$3,000! I can't believe it!
70
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,348
See what I did there?
71
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,884
I made you think it was bad,
when actually it was good.
72
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:28,985
Yeah, you're a comedic genius.
73
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,454
Let me see this. Ohh!
74
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:33,890
Holy crap! 3,000 bucks!
75
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:36,226
And all I got was a
donation made in my name
76
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,161
to some disease charity.
77
00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:40,197
Yeah, thank ya!
78
00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:41,998
So what do you
want to do with it?
79
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,568
Well, I'm thinking, and
go with me here... Ahem...
80
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:45,924
Double-D breast implants.
81
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:55,300
Why? The ones you have
now are so cute and perky.
82
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,283
Way to turn it around on me.
83
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:02,485
No, I'm serious. What
do you want to do with it?
84
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:05,088
I don't know. I guess we
should throw it in the bank quick
85
00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:07,156
before they realize what a
mediocre employee I really am.
86
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,459
Really? Put it in the bank?
87
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,894
Why, you got another idea? Hmm?
88
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,463
Solid gold bathtub?
89
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,665
Should we have our teeth
drilled and little rubies put in?
90
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:16,888
Hey, what's up?
91
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:23,005
No. I was thinking that
all these lawyers at my firm
92
00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:25,208
have been investing in
all these internet stocks,
93
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:27,977
and they have been
making some stupid money.
94
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,779
You wanna put the
money in the stock market?
95
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,848
Doug, these web
stocks are exploding.
96
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,484
You remember that lawyer
from my firm, Harry Sternin?
97
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,152
No.
98
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:39,088
The one you said looks
like a fat Phil Collins?
99
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,557
Oh, yeah.
100
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:43,560
Anyway, he, he bought this stock
called Shominy dot something,
101
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:47,631
and he tripled his
money in the last 4 days.
102
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,399
"Shominy"? What do they even do?
103
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:52,168
I don't know. They make
shominies. Who, who cares?
104
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,770
The point is...
105
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:57,407
the stock was at $2 on
Monday and now it's at 6!
106
00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:58,808
What do you think?
107
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:01,811
I don't know. I kind of like
my "put it in the bank" idea.
108
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:04,781
Come on, Dougie, the
gravy train is pulling out.
109
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,049
Why can't we jump
on the gravy train?
110
00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:08,685
Because sometimes
gravy trains derail.
111
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:12,021
Then there's blood
and gravy everywhere.
112
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,457
All right, whatever. I tried.
113
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,950
Put it back!
114
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,665
Doug! Doug, come here!
115
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:56,966
What?
116
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,201
Advanced digital
business to business
117
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:00,925
e-commerce networking solutions.
118
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,808
Shominy.com. You wanted
to know what they did,
119
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,676
so I looked it up. Now you know.
120
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,144
Thanks. I'll be in the shower.
121
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:09,145
Doug, come on!
122
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:10,913
This is a great stock.
123
00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:12,782
Four analysts
made it their top pick.
124
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:15,084
Come on, Carrie. All
this stuff is just so risky.
125
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,186
So you take a risk
once in a while.
126
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,788
Why do I have to take a risk?
127
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,790
Look, honey, if we put
the money in the bank,
128
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,525
it'll grow in little
dribs and drabs,
129
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,127
but if we buy the stock,
we... we have a chance
130
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:26,396
to finally make some real money.
131
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:30,199
We... we can go
someplace, like Europe.
132
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,701
What's in Europe?
133
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:35,538
We don't have to go
there. We can go anywhere.
134
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,874
Busch Gardens?
135
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,942
We can go to Busch
Gardens anytime.
136
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,077
Want to go this weekend?
137
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:45,169
Okay. You are really
missing the point.
138
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,818
Look, honey, I am
happy with our life.
139
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,152
I really am.
140
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:54,457
We love each other, we
have good friends, good jobs.
141
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:57,226
Now if we just had all
that plus, you know...
142
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,462
money...
143
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:02,399
better yet, huh?
144
00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:04,066
You really want to do this, huh?
145
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,167
Yes.
146
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:08,359
All right, I'm your
guy. I'm in. Yay! Muah.
147
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:16,813
Oh, here you are.
148
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:17,814
Yes, here I am.
149
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,438
How you doing? Good.
150
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:28,057
What'd you do?
What's the matter?
151
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:31,895
Nothing, just feel like
getting a little action.
152
00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:33,351
Before dinner?
153
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:37,801
Are you drinking?
154
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:41,404
No, but maybe these
stock reports I'm holding
155
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:44,206
might have
something to do with it.
156
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:47,209
Dougie, shominy.com
just doubled today!
157
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:48,244
No! Yes.
158
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,012
No! Yes.
159
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:51,013
No!
160
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,014
Yes!
161
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:53,716
Let me see! Let me see!
162
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:57,019
Oh, sweet Shominy!
163
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:58,655
Six grand! Six grand!
164
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,657
I know. I wish we
had the cash right now.
165
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:03,059
We could throw it on the
bed and have sex on it.
166
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:04,461
Wanna do it on the stock report?
167
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:06,796
No. I think it has to
be money, don't you?
168
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,621
Uh, don't go by me. I'd have
sex with you on an angry bear.
169
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:19,344
Hello, lovey!
170
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,945
Oh, hey.
171
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:23,279
What you... what you doing'?
172
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,849
Oh, nothing. Just
surfing the web.
173
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,884
Why is your voice so high?
174
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,919
Psh, it's not!
175
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,821
What's going on?
176
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,523
The stock is down a little.
177
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,024
Little? What's a little?
178
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:37,494
All right, before I tell you,
you have to agree not to panic.
179
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,128
Okay, by saying that,
you make me panic.
180
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:41,865
Now tell me quickly
before I pass out from fear.
181
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,766
Okay, it's at four.
182
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:47,069
Carrie, no! We bought it
at six! We bought it at six!
183
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,070
I know.
184
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:49,305
But four is less than six.
185
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,308
I know! I went to first
grade. Now just calm down.
186
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:54,443
I can't calm down,
Carrie. It's at four!
187
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,679
Look, Harry Sternin said
that, that, that it's normal
188
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,247
for the stock to dip a little.
189
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:00,449
Well, you know
what? Then marry him!
190
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:03,842
I got to think, I got to think,
I got to think, I got to think!
191
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,490
What do we do?
192
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:10,192
We hold onto the
stock. It'll come back up.
193
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,394
You think so?
194
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:13,897
It has to. Now,
look, get a grip!
195
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:16,733
Remember, we are
long-term investors.
196
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:20,503
We're in this for
three to four weeks.
197
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:24,908
All right, now just calm down
and we'll ride it out, okay?
198
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,598
Okay.
199
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,032
What are you doing?
200
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,833
I want to see
where the stock is at.
201
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:51,868
Here, help me get online.
202
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:54,370
No, no, sweetie.
203
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:58,441
You can't watch it every
minute. You'll drive yourself crazy.
204
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,409
I don't care. I wanna
know where it's at.
205
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,579
Fine. Do it yourself.
No, I need your help.
206
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,803
I'm stuck in solitaire.
207
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,554
Okay, one look and that's it.
208
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,823
One's fine. One, one's great.
209
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:16,626
Okay, you're signed on.
210
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:17,949
It'll just take a second.
211
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:26,002
Hi.
212
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:28,972
Hello.
213
00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,573
Okay, we're in.
214
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:34,677
Now we just type
in the symbol and...
215
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:35,812
Oh!
216
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,880
Oh? What, what's oh?
Where you looking?
217
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,315
It says, uh...
218
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,505
it's at three.
219
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,252
Three?! Oh, my
God! It's at three?!
220
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:44,453
Come on, let's
sell. Let's sell...
221
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,855
No, no, no. Look,
look, look here.
222
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:48,257
It says the dip in the stock
was because the FTC approval
223
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:50,059
of their technology was delayed.
224
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,261
Of course it was delayed,
because no one can figure out
225
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,797
what the hell they make!
226
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:58,001
They, they make advanced
commerce... something!
227
00:10:58,025 --> 00:10:59,368
Whatever it is, it's good.
228
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:01,971
Oh, yeah? Can I buy one? Where
do I go? Where? Waldbaum's, huh?
229
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:05,207
Sam Goody? Has Goody got it?!
230
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:06,609
Okay, Doug, could
you just calm down,
231
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:08,611
because you're
starting to panic me.
232
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:09,812
Yeah, because
you know I'm right.
233
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,814
Oh, my God! We're gonna
lose the whole three grand!
234
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,215
It's going to go down to zero!
235
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:14,216
Oh, God! Dry heaves.
236
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,606
Ewww!
237
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:20,623
Carrie, look, I am begging you.
238
00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:22,525
Please, let's just sell, okay?
239
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:24,927
Let's sell while we still have
enough to go to Busch Gardens.
240
00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:26,029
Doug, I don't know.
241
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:27,697
I mean, Harry's not selling.
242
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:28,831
Harry's a
millionaire, all right?
243
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,332
He buys and sells
people for sport.
244
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,316
He'd kill you as
soon as look at you.
245
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:35,204
Look...
246
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,306
Carrie, I'm not wired
for this kind of stuff.
247
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,876
You know, I'm
jittery, I'm nervous.
248
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,645
Look, my eye is
twitching. Look, you see it?
249
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:44,013
No.
250
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,315
Well, it's not now, but it was.
251
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:47,784
We got to sell. Come on!
252
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,952
I don't care if it goes
up to 100 tomorrow.
253
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:53,156
Let's just get out of
it and be done with it.
254
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,158
Fine! If it's gonna
make you this crazy,
255
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:56,659
then we'll sell it.
256
00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:58,527
Good.
257
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,731
Thank you.
258
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:04,555
Can't tell you how good it feels
to be done with this madness.
259
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:12,396
It's back up. Hmm?
260
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:31,961
Oh, darling, just in time.
261
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:34,864
What are you, having a party?
262
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:35,865
No, no.
263
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,266
I'm getting into
the Christmas spirit
264
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,202
and putting together
an outdoor display
265
00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:43,973
that will make the Rinaldis
feel poor and ashamed.
266
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:45,674
So what do you think?
267
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,009
What is it?
268
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:49,145
It's a nativity scene.
269
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,013
Not so much.
270
00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:52,014
Sure, it is.
271
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:53,449
You got your wise men here.
272
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:56,853
There's Joseph, Mary,
and the baby Jesus.
273
00:12:56,877 --> 00:13:00,178
He's huge!
274
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:02,859
So?
275
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,360
So he looks like he could crush
276
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,528
all the wise men to death.
277
00:13:06,552 --> 00:13:09,498
But he wouldn't
do that. He's gentle.
278
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:11,589
He's baby Jesus.
279
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,437
And what about the,
uh, wooden Indian?
280
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,505
Who's he supposed to be?
281
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:19,541
No one. I just like it.
282
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:21,485
And who's to say
he wasn't there?
283
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:26,816
Dad, I love you so much.
284
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:31,254
But there's no way in hell this
is going in front of our house.
285
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:33,689
And it was the fourth
record day in a row
286
00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:36,125
for the Nasdaq as tech stocks
continue to fire the market.
287
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:39,095
Leading the charge is
new issue shominy.com,
288
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:42,832
up over 200% on news
that it received FTC approval
289
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:44,801
of its highly anticipated
advanced digital
290
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:46,269
business to business e-commerce
291
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,492
networking solution technology.
292
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:53,642
Approval.
293
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,278
They got approval.
294
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,713
Good for them.
295
00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:58,981
Yes...
296
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,872
good for them.
297
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,426
You're hating me
right now, aren't you?
298
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:11,983
Nooo!
299
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:16,165
Yes, you are. Come
on, you can say it, huh?
300
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:19,035
"Chunky made us sell.
Chunky cost us money."
301
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,502
That's what you're thinking.
302
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,305
That is not what I'm thinking.
303
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:23,706
You have to be
thinking that, Carrie.
304
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:27,143
If it wasn't for me, we'd be
up like, like $4,000 bucks.
305
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:28,945
Closer to five.
306
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:31,314
But it is not your fault.
307
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:35,617
I'm the one who let your
non-stop bitching and whimpering
308
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,419
wear me down.
309
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:39,403
And for that, I am
very, very sorry.
310
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:43,792
So we're cool? Oy.
311
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,928
I'm sorry, all
right? I feel guilty.
312
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:48,130
You know, I
acted like a little...
313
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:50,699
sissy investor girl.
314
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,101
Here, make this part of my body.
315
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:55,137
Just make it part of my body.
316
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:57,006
Doug, would you just
forget it? Come on!
317
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,441
We sold the
stock. It's over with.
318
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:02,745
Could we just get
on with our lives?
319
00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:05,181
Okay?
320
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,905
Okay. Okay.
321
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,691
Let's buy back in.
322
00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:16,692
What?
323
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,327
Come on. It's on
its way back up.
324
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:21,264
Okay. That settles
it. You need lithium.
325
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:23,065
No. Think about it. We
only sold because we...
326
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,401
We didn't have any
approval, you know?
327
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,203
Now we have something
to sink our teeth into.
328
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:29,107
We got the grr-grr,
the approval.
329
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:36,345
God, Doug, you
are driving me crazy!
330
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,147
But the stock is so high now!
331
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,515
High and only going higher.
332
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:42,285
I know it, Carrie. I feel it,
I swear. It's a gut feeling.
333
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:43,741
This does not lie.
334
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,657
All right, we buy back in.
335
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:51,593
B-b-but this time,
we buy the stock
336
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:56,432
and we leave it alone
for one full week, okay?
337
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,935
We do not obsess,
we do not panic.
338
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,370
We just go on with our
lives and let the stock do
339
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:02,571
whatever it's gonna do.
340
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,162
Hey! What stock?
341
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,379
It's all right there.
342
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:13,115
Take your time crossing.
343
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,239
And have a nice day.
344
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,721
Yeah, there's a new invention.
It's called a turn signal.
345
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:21,625
Why don't you use it, you moron?
346
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,261
Hey, got enough dogs there, guy?
347
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:28,564
That's crazy walking
all those dogs.
348
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,967
♪ Go on, now go ♪
349
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:32,768
♪ Walk out the door ♪
350
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:34,403
♪ Just turn around now ♪
351
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:37,806
Those wheels are on
your chair for a reason...
352
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,897
use them!
353
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,560
We've never had any quarrel
that I've ever been party to.
354
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:00,562
I ask nothing of you.
355
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,564
I came here in the
spirit of bright good will
356
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:04,133
and I won't let you dampen it.
357
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:07,669
So a merry Christmas to you
anyway, uncle. Good evening.
358
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,172
Humbug!
359
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,008
Okay, why are you doing that?
360
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,009
What?
361
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,176
Mouthing.
362
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,844
What are you talking about?
363
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:19,181
You're mouthing
along to the movie.
364
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,850
So? I've seen the movie 100
times. I know all the words.
365
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,652
I understand that.
366
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:26,322
But it's annoying.
367
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,957
So then don't watch me.
368
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:31,560
I wasn't watching you, okay?
369
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,629
But I can see it in
my periphinal vision
370
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:37,666
and it's distracting.
371
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:40,369
It's peripheral.
372
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,770
What did I say?
373
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:44,840
You said, "periphinal."
374
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:46,342
No, I didn't.
375
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:48,810
Okay, fine, you didn't.
Can I watch the movie now?
376
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:50,812
Oh, go ahead.
377
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,614
A poor excuse for
picking a man's pocket
378
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:53,849
every 25th of December.
379
00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:56,052
I said "peripheral."
380
00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:58,287
It's the family more than me.
381
00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,788
See, they put
their hearts into it.
382
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:01,123
For God sakes, wash your feet.
383
00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:03,692
They stink!
384
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:07,863
Okay, it's not my
feet. It's my socks.
385
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:10,399
Well, burn them.
386
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,201
Funny, you didn't have
a problem with my feet
387
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,402
when the stock was at 12.
388
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,304
Okay, here we go.
389
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:17,839
Look, stinky, you're the one
who begged me to buy back in
390
00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:21,410
just in time to
ride the plummet.
391
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:26,415
They got the approval!
392
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:29,818
Right. The approval. I could
sink my teeth into the approval.
393
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:33,355
You know what? Why don't
you sink your teeth into my ass?
394
00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:35,458
That's nice. That's
nice. That's very ladylike.
395
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:38,249
What a delicate little
flower I married, hm?
396
00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:42,264
Well, Doug, at least I
know not to buy high
397
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:45,000
and sell low, okay?
So here's a tip.
398
00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,002
Why don't you buy
yourself some instinct?
399
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:48,604
You know what?
That's a real good idea.
400
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:49,972
I'll go down to the bank
401
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,174
and I'll take out a little bit
of my Christmas bonus...
402
00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:56,812
Oops, it never made it there!
403
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:57,980
You know what?
404
00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:01,117
You could pin this on
me if you want to, Doug,
405
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,619
but remember, you're
the one who sold,
406
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,920
you're the one who panicked.
407
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:05,921
Oh, here it comes.
408
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,389
Okay, go ahead, say it, say it.
409
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:10,159
"Chunky cost us money."
Come on. Come on, say it.
410
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:11,160
It doesn't matter.
411
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:13,195
Well, Chunky did cost us money.
412
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:17,866
I can't believe you
just called me Chunky.
413
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,936
Hey, kids, come here. I
want to show you something.
414
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,038
Okay.
415
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:24,940
Come on, double-time.
416
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:27,484
Come on, let's go.
Quick. Quick, quick.
417
00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:30,179
I, uh, scrapped
all the other junk
418
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,381
and I went out and I got this.
419
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:33,582
So what do you think?
420
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:40,989
You know, I
shouldn't have told you
421
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,792
about my Christmas bonus
in the first place. That's it.
422
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:46,195
Oh, sure, why don't we
just sell the stock, hmm?
423
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:49,198
It's just about low enough.
424
00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:50,266
Fine, sell! Good.
425
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,900
Then when it goes
back up on Monday,
426
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,335
you'll be all, "Ooh,
Chunky sorry."
427
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,003
Again? Again with
the Chunky? Yes, yes.
428
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:59,074
You back it down.
Both of you stop it!
429
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:00,942
How sad this is.
430
00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:02,844
It's Christmas eve
and all you two can do
431
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,388
is argue about a couple
of nickels and dimes?
432
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,017
Let me tell you something.
433
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,387
The best Christmas I ever
had was with your mother
434
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:14,356
in our first house,
the one in Flatbush.
435
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:17,159
We were broke. We
had no heat, no hot water,
436
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:19,161
and a leaky roof.
437
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:22,386
But we loved it! You know why?
438
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:25,901
Because you had each other.
439
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,425
Because we had vodka!
440
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:31,942
So now come in and
let's have some shots.
441
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,150
Um...
442
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:44,453
I'm sorry.
443
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:47,723
I'm sorry too.
444
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,024
Let's just sell the stock.
445
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:50,092
Yes.
446
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,694
I mean, who cares
how much we lose?
447
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,295
At least we'll be
done with it, right?
448
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:56,298
Let's just dump it and be
happy with the life we have.
449
00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:57,299
Yeah.
450
00:20:57,323 --> 00:20:58,834
Hmm, yes. Okay.
451
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:01,002
Merry Christmas, baby.
452
00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:02,504
Hmm, merry Christmas.
453
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:03,861
Mmm.
454
00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:14,383
Although it really can't
go any lower, can it?
455
00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:18,687
I was just thinking
the same thing.
456
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:19,688
Maybe we should keep it.
457
00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:21,223
Maybe we should buy more.
458
00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:22,824
You know, Harry bought more.
459
00:21:22,848 --> 00:21:26,128
Harry knows. He's a
very, very smart man.
460
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:27,696
So we'll buy some more?
461
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,365
Well, how we gonna
get the money?
462
00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:30,566
I don't know. Uh...
463
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:31,967
second mortgage?
464
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:34,069
Better yet. Cash advance
on our credit cards.
465
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:36,305
Yeah, because we get the miles.
466
00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:38,529
Hee-hee!
467
00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:47,082
And in financial news,
468
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:50,386
shominy.com, this week's
darling on Wall Street,
469
00:21:50,410 --> 00:21:52,888
plummeted on news that its CEO
470
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:57,214
has 11 prior convictions
for stock fraud.