1
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:17,867
What the...
2
00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:22,205
Thank you.
3
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:28,845
No, I mean it. Thank you.
4
00:00:31,148 --> 00:00:32,082
Great.
5
00:00:38,222 --> 00:00:40,857
Hey, hey, hey, hey! What
are you doing with that?
6
00:00:40,924 --> 00:00:43,059
Just watchin' the
sunlight hit it.
7
00:00:44,528 --> 00:00:46,629
That is for tomorrow.
8
00:00:46,697 --> 00:00:48,831
But I'm hungry. I'm
just gonna take a leg.
9
00:00:48,899 --> 00:00:51,301
Doug, we are having
guests for Thanksgiving,
10
00:00:51,369 --> 00:00:54,704
and I am not serving them
a one-legged Turkey.
11
00:00:54,771 --> 00:00:56,772
Oh, what a Turkey
can't be handicapped?
12
00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,042
What, you got some
kind of problem?
13
00:00:59,110 --> 00:01:03,646
Come on, I will find you something
in there that is good, ok?
14
00:01:03,714 --> 00:01:05,915
Here we go. Let's see...
15
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:09,285
Ok, you can't have that.
Mashed potatoes, no.
16
00:01:09,353 --> 00:01:10,953
Yams, no. Pie, no.
17
00:01:11,022 --> 00:01:13,289
Ok, you know what? You name
one more thing I can't have,
18
00:01:13,357 --> 00:01:15,058
and I'm gonna bukaw you!
19
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:17,960
Call it.
20
00:01:18,029 --> 00:01:20,997
I'm sorry. I don't think there's
anything in here that you can have.
21
00:01:21,065 --> 00:01:22,665
How about stuffing?
A little stuffing.
22
00:01:22,733 --> 00:01:24,167
Come on, I love you.
23
00:01:26,703 --> 00:01:28,104
No.
24
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:30,573
It's stuffing. You can't
tell if stuffing's missing.
25
00:01:32,043 --> 00:01:34,277
I'll remold it,
I'll even it out.
26
00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:36,913
Hey, look at me. No
one has to know.
27
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:41,584
Ah, ah, ah, look...
look it here.
28
00:01:41,652 --> 00:01:44,387
I found something
that you can have.
29
00:01:44,455 --> 00:01:47,957
Oh, lunchables. Oh, this is...
this is great.
30
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,926
You know why? 'Cause
it's like lunch,
31
00:01:49,993 --> 00:01:52,495
only a lot smaller. This is...
this is going to be perfect.
32
00:01:52,563 --> 00:01:54,364
Thank you very much.
33
00:01:54,432 --> 00:01:56,699
There we go. Hmm.
34
00:01:57,834 --> 00:01:58,768
Mmm.
35
00:02:04,775 --> 00:02:06,109
I'm stuffed!
36
00:02:50,395 --> 00:02:53,430
Uh, I, for one, am stuffed.
37
00:02:56,335 --> 00:02:59,670
Thanksgiving, man. Not a
good day to be my pants.
38
00:03:02,407 --> 00:03:04,541
There aren't a lot
of real good days.
39
00:03:06,378 --> 00:03:08,779
That's nice, very nice,
after we just fed you.
40
00:03:08,847 --> 00:03:11,015
Carrie, the food was unbelievable.
Oh, excellent.
41
00:03:11,083 --> 00:03:13,084
Yes, honey, it was delicious.
Thank you.
42
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:16,587
Oh, don't thank me. Thank the
good folks at "holiday in a box."
43
00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:18,722
Yeah, but who went
and picked it up?
44
00:03:18,790 --> 00:03:21,492
Actually, they...
they dropped it off.
45
00:03:21,559 --> 00:03:24,128
Well, come on, girl,
who re-heated it?
46
00:03:24,196 --> 00:03:27,164
That's true, I did. Ok,
ok, pride is back.
47
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,036
Ah, you know the food is good
48
00:03:32,104 --> 00:03:34,906
when it knocks a man out cold.
49
00:03:34,973 --> 00:03:36,874
Hey, you wanna stick his
hand in warm water,
50
00:03:36,942 --> 00:03:38,509
see if we can make him pee?
51
00:03:38,576 --> 00:03:40,411
Yeah.
52
00:03:40,478 --> 00:03:43,447
It'll be nice to be on the
other end of that for once.
53
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:44,782
Even if it does work,
54
00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:47,051
aren't you just going to
be ruining your own couch?
55
00:03:47,119 --> 00:03:48,953
A good point, good point.
56
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,554
Let's see here.
57
00:03:50,622 --> 00:03:53,157
Oh, this is perfect.
This is great.
58
00:03:58,096 --> 00:03:59,530
Oh, man. Shh!
59
00:03:59,597 --> 00:04:01,399
I'm sorry.
60
00:04:07,172 --> 00:04:08,839
It's funny, right?
61
00:04:10,976 --> 00:04:13,244
Actually, my kid could
look exactly like that.
62
00:04:16,248 --> 00:04:19,083
Doug, what the hell
are you doing to him?
63
00:04:19,151 --> 00:04:21,285
We're just dressin' him up
like a big baby, relax.
64
00:04:21,353 --> 00:04:22,420
Stop it!
65
00:04:22,487 --> 00:04:24,255
Just killin' time till dessert.
66
00:04:24,323 --> 00:04:26,390
Doug, it's Thanksgiving.
Could you be nice?
67
00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:28,926
I think I have a right to mess
with him on Thanksgiving.
68
00:04:28,994 --> 00:04:30,027
Dessert's up.
69
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:31,562
What are you talking about?
70
00:04:31,629 --> 00:04:33,497
Are you kidding me?
Remember how he tortured me
71
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:34,898
the first Thanksgiving
I met him?
72
00:04:34,967 --> 00:04:36,267
My God, it was hell.
73
00:04:36,335 --> 00:04:38,702
I remember Thanksgiving very well.
It was a great day.
74
00:04:38,770 --> 00:04:42,206
It was the first time I... I got the
nerve up to tell you "I love you."
75
00:04:42,274 --> 00:04:43,407
Got the nerve up?
76
00:04:43,475 --> 00:04:45,443
It wasn't so hard
after I told you.
77
00:04:45,510 --> 00:04:48,112
What? You think you
told me first?
78
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:49,546
Si, senorita.
79
00:04:49,614 --> 00:04:52,649
Uh, I think I told
you first, senor.
80
00:04:52,717 --> 00:04:55,519
Ok, you know what? Don't go Spanish.
I went Spanish.
81
00:04:56,521 --> 00:04:57,754
Spanish?
82
00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:03,361
That got you up?
83
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,562
You know what? Dad will know.
84
00:05:05,630 --> 00:05:07,398
Dad, do you remember
meeting, uh, Doug
85
00:05:07,466 --> 00:05:09,000
for the first time
on Thanksgiving?
86
00:05:09,067 --> 00:05:11,635
Of course I remember
meeting Doug.
87
00:05:11,703 --> 00:05:13,837
I believe it was Thanksgiving.
88
00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:20,211
Daddy, we're going to the
Thanksgiving party now.
89
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:21,879
Have fun, sweetheart.
90
00:05:22,347 --> 00:05:23,314
Hey!
91
00:05:23,382 --> 00:05:25,516
You touch one hair on her head,
92
00:05:25,583 --> 00:05:28,252
I'll gut you like a fish.
Now scram!
93
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:35,926
Dad, that was Donny peacock,
and we were 8 years old.
94
00:05:35,994 --> 00:05:38,362
And he ran out of
the house crying.
95
00:05:38,430 --> 00:05:42,333
I am talking about meeting
Doug on Thanksgiving.
96
00:05:42,401 --> 00:05:43,867
You don't remember?
97
00:05:50,275 --> 00:05:53,310
I'll take the Thanksgiving
special, kimiko.
98
00:05:53,378 --> 00:05:55,179
Yes, Arthur-San.
99
00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:01,685
No, that couldn't be the one.
100
00:06:04,289 --> 00:06:08,325
Dad, 1993, I had been
dating Doug a few months,
101
00:06:08,393 --> 00:06:11,195
you were still married to Lily.
You remember?
102
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:23,074
Here you go, a little
taste of what's coming.
103
00:06:23,141 --> 00:06:25,576
Delicious, as are you, my lady.
104
00:06:25,643 --> 00:06:26,643
Ah.
105
00:06:28,313 --> 00:06:30,281
Guys, guys, guys, guys!
106
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,316
My boyfriend's gonna
be here any minute,
107
00:06:32,384 --> 00:06:35,319
and we're not close to ready. Any
chance we can get dinner going
108
00:06:35,387 --> 00:06:38,189
before you guys get to 3rd base?
109
00:06:38,256 --> 00:06:41,158
You heard her, get off.
110
00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:44,428
So, uh, who is this,
uh, happerman fellow?
111
00:06:44,496 --> 00:06:46,730
Heffernan, dad, Doug Heffernan.
112
00:06:46,798 --> 00:06:48,999
He's the guy I've been
dating for 6 months.
113
00:06:49,067 --> 00:06:50,701
Any relation to Lou Heffernan?
114
00:06:50,768 --> 00:06:52,369
I don't know. Uh,
where's the ladle?
115
00:06:52,437 --> 00:06:55,372
Oh, wouldn't that be funny
if they were related, huh?
116
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,741
Yes, that would be very,
very funny, Lily.
117
00:06:57,809 --> 00:06:59,543
Listen, um, by the
way, you guys,
118
00:06:59,611 --> 00:07:02,179
I took down your naked
poster of John and yoko.
119
00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:04,415
Please don't fight me on that.
120
00:07:04,483 --> 00:07:07,284
So, what is this young man's
line of work, anyway?
121
00:07:07,352 --> 00:07:09,753
Uh, he's training to
be a driver at I.P.S.
122
00:07:10,322 --> 00:07:11,655
Whoa, boy.
123
00:07:12,457 --> 00:07:14,391
Dad, it's a good job.
124
00:07:14,459 --> 00:07:18,061
Yeah, it's a swell job, until
they invent a machine to do it.
125
00:07:18,130 --> 00:07:19,563
Come on, who are you to talk?
126
00:07:19,631 --> 00:07:21,565
You Polish bowling
balls for a living.
127
00:07:21,633 --> 00:07:23,567
I Polish and engrave them.
128
00:07:23,635 --> 00:07:25,769
Show me the machine
that can do that.
129
00:07:26,605 --> 00:07:28,472
Leave her alone, Arthur.
130
00:07:28,540 --> 00:07:32,075
I'm glad she finally found
a boy she's serious about.
131
00:07:32,144 --> 00:07:34,311
Has he told you
he loves you yet?
132
00:07:34,379 --> 00:07:36,213
Oh, not yet. He's not the, uh,
133
00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:38,349
say-I-love-you-out-loud
type of guy.
134
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:39,450
Hmm.
135
00:07:39,518 --> 00:07:41,752
Well, I know I'm not
your mother, dear,
136
00:07:41,819 --> 00:07:44,588
but may I still offer
you a word of advice?
137
00:07:44,656 --> 00:07:46,390
Oh, sure.
138
00:07:46,458 --> 00:07:48,292
If you wanna make a sale,
139
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:51,128
you gotta let the customer
sample the merchandise.
140
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:57,434
Absolutely. I will do
him in his car tonight.
141
00:07:59,171 --> 00:08:00,471
Leave her alone, Lily.
142
00:08:00,539 --> 00:08:02,773
Just because you gave it away,
doesn't mean she should.
143
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:04,908
Well, I wouldn't have
if you hadn't been
144
00:08:04,976 --> 00:08:06,877
so damn good at the mambo.
145
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:10,247
♪
146
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:13,450
Guys, guys, stop that.
147
00:08:13,518 --> 00:08:16,520
Dad, ok, ok. Let me explain
something here. Ok?
148
00:08:16,588 --> 00:08:19,323
I... I really,
really like this guy
149
00:08:19,391 --> 00:08:21,525
and I've put off having him
meet you for 6 months,
150
00:08:21,593 --> 00:08:24,295
but at this point, I'm
running out of excuses.
151
00:08:24,362 --> 00:08:25,996
So if you two could,
152
00:08:26,064 --> 00:08:28,832
I don't know, maybe,
imitate normal people,
153
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:31,335
just for today, I would
really appreciate it.
154
00:08:31,403 --> 00:08:33,704
Because Doug is
very, very special.
155
00:08:36,408 --> 00:08:37,941
Gotcha. Damn.
156
00:08:38,009 --> 00:08:40,911
Oh! It's worth the
mini-puke to be the best.
157
00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:42,479
See, that's where
we're different.
158
00:08:42,547 --> 00:08:44,114
I'm not that committed.
159
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,718
Hello, Douglas!
160
00:08:47,785 --> 00:08:49,019
Hey, man! Hey, this is the guy
161
00:08:49,087 --> 00:08:50,554
I was telling you
about from work.
162
00:08:50,622 --> 00:08:52,289
Uh, Deacon Palmer,
Spence Olchin.
163
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:53,424
At your service.
164
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:54,592
Word up, Spence.
165
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:57,561
Oh, most people call
me "the spencenator."
166
00:08:57,629 --> 00:09:00,197
So, Doug, are you nervous about
meeting Carrie's family?
167
00:09:00,265 --> 00:09:01,398
Yeah, I kind of am, you know?
168
00:09:01,466 --> 00:09:03,200
I thought I would've
met 'em sooner,
169
00:09:03,268 --> 00:09:06,803
but, uh, apparently they spend
a lot of time in the orient.
170
00:09:06,871 --> 00:09:08,939
So you guys are startin'
to get serious.
171
00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:11,442
I think so. I think so.
172
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,645
Oh. Have you said
the "I" word yet?
173
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:16,480
Not yet.
174
00:09:16,548 --> 00:09:18,014
It's cocked and loaded, though.
175
00:09:18,082 --> 00:09:19,750
Today could be the day.
176
00:09:19,817 --> 00:09:22,018
You're gonna tell her you love her?
Wow.
177
00:09:22,086 --> 00:09:23,987
The only time I heard
you use that word
178
00:09:24,055 --> 00:09:27,824
was talking about pork
snacks and mookie Wilson.
179
00:09:27,892 --> 00:09:30,561
Well, Carrie's about to
join that exclusive club.
180
00:09:30,629 --> 00:09:31,629
Ho-ho-ho.
181
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:32,696
♪ Do-do-do-do
182
00:09:32,764 --> 00:09:34,164
♪ Doug and Carrie
183
00:09:34,232 --> 00:09:35,699
♪ can't touch them
184
00:09:40,605 --> 00:09:44,508
ok, this baby is
ready for action.
185
00:09:44,576 --> 00:09:46,744
Good heavens, we've got
a lot of food here.
186
00:09:46,811 --> 00:09:48,612
Hope your Doug
fellow likes to eat.
187
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:51,148
I think we're good.
188
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:53,850
Oh, Arthur, I told you, 2
hours ago, to clean up
189
00:09:53,918 --> 00:09:55,719
all these boat brochures.
190
00:09:55,787 --> 00:09:57,020
Well, I'm sorry,
191
00:09:57,088 --> 00:09:59,022
but I'm right on the
verge of a decision.
192
00:09:59,090 --> 00:10:00,157
Stop it, Arthur.
193
00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:01,759
We are not buying a boat.
194
00:10:01,826 --> 00:10:03,294
Oh, come on, Lily darling.
195
00:10:03,361 --> 00:10:05,729
I even have a name all
picked out for her.
196
00:10:05,797 --> 00:10:07,197
The Lily darling.
197
00:10:09,834 --> 00:10:12,002
♪
198
00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:16,873
♪ Know what I mean
199
00:10:16,941 --> 00:10:18,975
Arthur, you are such a dreamer!
200
00:10:19,043 --> 00:10:21,679
I am not. All I have to do is
go to the bank, get a loan,
201
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:24,981
and 5 minutes later, I'm capt.
Arty of the Lily darling.
202
00:10:25,049 --> 00:10:27,518
It is not that simple
to get a loan, Arthur.
203
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,420
Boats are very expensive.
204
00:10:29,487 --> 00:10:30,987
Oh, I see.
205
00:10:31,055 --> 00:10:33,791
So is this your way of rubbing
the bankruptcy in my face?
206
00:10:38,663 --> 00:10:42,366
♪ Saw her picture
in a magazine ♪
207
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:44,435
♪ Ba dum, dum
208
00:10:44,502 --> 00:10:46,937
why don't you go back to the
street corner where I found you?
209
00:10:47,004 --> 00:10:48,305
I was waiting for the bus!
210
00:10:48,373 --> 00:10:50,407
Whatever helps you
sleep at night!
211
00:10:52,977 --> 00:10:56,213
Dad, get out of the
bathroom, now!
212
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,349
No! She's violent!
213
00:10:58,416 --> 00:11:00,183
He's a moron!
214
00:11:00,251 --> 00:11:02,185
She shaves her lip!
215
00:11:02,253 --> 00:11:04,221
His nipples don't match!
216
00:11:10,395 --> 00:11:11,695
You're insane!
217
00:11:11,763 --> 00:11:13,230
I heard that!
218
00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:18,201
Crap, he's here!
219
00:11:18,269 --> 00:11:19,336
I'll get it!
220
00:11:19,404 --> 00:11:20,537
Don't get it!
221
00:11:20,605 --> 00:11:22,038
I have to get it!
222
00:11:22,106 --> 00:11:24,875
The poor schmo is standing
right on the porch!
223
00:11:26,911 --> 00:11:28,945
Hi, you must be Doug.
224
00:11:29,013 --> 00:11:30,280
One sec, hon.
225
00:11:32,384 --> 00:11:35,252
He's here! Now get out
of the freakin' crapper!
226
00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:40,391
Dad, will you just come out?
227
00:11:40,458 --> 00:11:41,859
Not until she apologizes.
228
00:11:41,926 --> 00:11:44,227
Lily, just apologize. You
don't have to mean it,
229
00:11:44,295 --> 00:11:45,696
just say the words.
230
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,567
All right. I'm sorry!
231
00:11:50,635 --> 00:11:51,802
Did you hear that, daddy?
232
00:11:51,870 --> 00:11:53,804
She said she's sorry.
That's so sweet of her.
233
00:11:53,872 --> 00:11:54,905
Now come on out.
234
00:11:54,972 --> 00:11:56,206
Are we getting a boat?
235
00:11:56,274 --> 00:11:57,340
Just say yes.
236
00:11:57,409 --> 00:11:59,276
The second lie is always easier.
237
00:12:06,317 --> 00:12:07,918
Yes! We can get a boat.
238
00:12:07,985 --> 00:12:09,352
Ah! Do you hear that, dad?
239
00:12:09,421 --> 00:12:10,854
You're gonna get your boat.
240
00:12:10,922 --> 00:12:12,556
And a jet ski!
241
00:12:12,624 --> 00:12:13,924
A jet ski!
242
00:12:13,991 --> 00:12:15,025
Oh, God.
243
00:12:15,092 --> 00:12:17,027
You're insane! You're
not gonna get anything,
244
00:12:17,094 --> 00:12:18,695
you little pain in the ass!
245
00:12:18,763 --> 00:12:21,131
I hope you stay in
that bathroom forever!
246
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:22,265
Maybe I will.
247
00:12:22,333 --> 00:12:23,467
And by the way,
248
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,769
I am currently making
a lewd gesture!
249
00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:30,707
Oh, you, miserable old people!
250
00:12:30,775 --> 00:12:33,076
I can't believe you're
doing this to me!
251
00:12:48,292 --> 00:12:49,225
Carrie?
252
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:52,663
Doug!
253
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:55,265
It's so nice to
finally meet you.
254
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:57,000
Come in, please, will you?
255
00:13:31,318 --> 00:13:32,284
So...
256
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:33,713
Yeah!
257
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,848
How are you enjoying
the food, dear?
258
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,483
Oh. It's... it's great. Thanks.
259
00:13:37,551 --> 00:13:40,219
Oh, thank you so much for
bringing these buffalo wings.
260
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:42,655
They look delicious.
261
00:13:42,723 --> 00:13:45,357
No problem. Uh, they're
from, uh, Cooper's.
262
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,727
They're... they're
famous for their wings.
263
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:50,930
Half of these are hot,
264
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,565
the other half are mild.
265
00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:54,667
I didn't know what
you guys liked.
266
00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:02,074
I like hot.
267
00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:04,977
I like mild.
268
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:06,512
Hey, that's... that's what
makes the world go round, huh?
269
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:09,682
Question for you: Is Carrie
coming back at any point?
270
00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:11,551
Oh, of course she is!
271
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:14,219
I think she's having a
visit from her Aunt Flo.
272
00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:19,692
So, how would you like
a nice warm biscuit?
273
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:20,760
Ok. Yeah, sure.
274
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,161
Be back in a jiff.
275
00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:31,336
Is the bitch gone?
276
00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:38,644
Did someone... Someone... hello?
277
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:41,013
Is she gone?
278
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,115
Uh, yeah, she's in the kitchen.
279
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:47,319
Arthur Spooner. I'm
Carrie's father.
280
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,021
Oh, hi. Doug Heffernan.
281
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,356
So, you're with I.P.S., huh?
282
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:54,060
Yeah, I.P.S., yeah.
283
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:57,129
Aren't you concerned about
losing your job to a machine?
284
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:01,300
Not really, no. I, uh...
285
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:03,535
See, I drive to a lot
of people's houses
286
00:15:03,604 --> 00:15:05,905
and... and deliver
packages to them.
287
00:15:07,808 --> 00:15:11,477
I, uh, don't know really how
a machine would do that.
288
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,445
Oh, it's gonna
happen, my friend.
289
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,815
They're working on
it even as we speak.
290
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:18,584
They're ready.
291
00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:19,952
I was never here!
292
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,358
Here you go. Piping hot.
293
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,294
Ooh! Let me freshen
up that orangina.
294
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,300
Give me a drumstick!
295
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,602
Drumstick! Now!
296
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:39,271
Thank you.
297
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:44,877
There you go, sweetheart.
298
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,979
Where's the other drumstick?
299
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,648
I don't, um, I, uh...
300
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:51,951
I think this one
started out with one.
301
00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:55,688
Arthur! Give me back
that drumstick!
302
00:15:55,756 --> 00:15:59,625
You'll have to pry it out
of my dead, cold hands!
303
00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:01,393
Excuse me, where...
Where's the bathroom?
304
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,062
The psycho is in it.
305
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,830
Arthur, Doug has to
go to the bathroom!
306
00:16:04,898 --> 00:16:06,565
Now, get out!
307
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:09,234
No. He can come in if he
wants, but I'm staying.
308
00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:13,172
Son, what do you have,
number 1 or number 2?
309
00:16:20,681 --> 00:16:23,615
So, you've been dating my
daughter for quite a while now.
310
00:16:23,684 --> 00:16:24,650
Huh?
311
00:16:24,718 --> 00:16:26,852
Yes, about, uh, 6
months now, sir.
312
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,689
So, pretty serious?
313
00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:32,591
Oh, yes. She... she's a...
She's a great girl.
314
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:36,896
And, uh, you are planning
to get the weight off?
315
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:41,867
Absolutely. I'm on it.
316
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:47,073
Problem with the plumbing, son?
317
00:16:48,942 --> 00:16:51,077
No, no. You know, I'm
just havin' a hard time
318
00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:52,745
going with you in here.
319
00:16:52,813 --> 00:16:54,780
Oh, why didn't you say so?
320
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,982
By all means, I'll
give you some privacy.
321
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,617
Oh, well, thank you.
322
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:11,463
So, where're you from?
323
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:14,734
Regal park.
324
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,468
Oh, wonderful area.
325
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:19,138
You must know my friend Stan.
326
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:22,174
Runs the shoe-shine joint
down by the dunkin' donuts.
327
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:24,276
Nah, you know what? Nope.
Don't know him.
328
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,344
Sure you do.
329
00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:28,147
I'm sorry, don't know, Mr.
Spooner.
330
00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:29,949
For God's sake, son, Stan!
331
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:31,516
Stan!
332
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,153
Shoe-shine Stan!
333
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:36,455
Oh, shoe...
334
00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:38,257
Shoe-shine St... yes, oh, yeah.
335
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:40,425
Oh, yeah, he did rub my shoes.
Yep, yeah.
336
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:42,327
There you go.
337
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,629
Ok, you know what?
338
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:45,631
I'm not havin' any
luck with this.
339
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:47,933
I'm just gonna go up to the
mobile station on the corner.
340
00:17:48,001 --> 00:17:49,534
They're gonna make
you buy something.
341
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,535
Ok.
342
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,172
You out, Doug?
343
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,573
Want some pie?
344
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:03,983
Oh, sweet freedom!
345
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,054
You're here?
346
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:10,956
Well, were you here
the whole time?
347
00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:12,992
No. I drove down to the 7-11
348
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:15,094
to get a pack of capris.
349
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,561
Oh, did you? Oh, that's nice.
350
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,063
Do you mind if I...?
351
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:19,265
You don't smoke.
352
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,566
That's right, I don't smoke!
353
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:24,303
Why did you leave?
354
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:25,570
Because I...
355
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:28,107
I... I didn't wanna be
there for the moment
356
00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:31,043
when you realized I
come from a crazy farm!
357
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:33,612
You know what? I would love to
hear this, but I... I gotta pee.
358
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,380
Yeah, ok. You gotta pee.
You know what?
359
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,783
Why don't you call me in 6
months when you're done peeing.
360
00:18:37,851 --> 00:18:39,218
Ok? We'll have a cup of coffee.
361
00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:41,120
6... what are you talking about?
"6 months."
362
00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:42,354
I gotta pee, I'm serious.
363
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:44,123
Look, if you wanna just go, go!
364
00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:46,758
My... my... my whole life's been a
freak show, I don't even blame you.
365
00:18:46,827 --> 00:18:47,927
What are you doing?
366
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:49,328
Bye!
367
00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:52,564
I was gonna tell you I
love you today, dumb ass!
368
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,166
I'm really gonna burst.
369
00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:03,675
Douglas!
370
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:05,410
Oh, God! Now I'm locked up.
371
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,479
Douglas, over here!
372
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,414
Yeah, Mr. Spooner?
373
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:13,018
Listen, I couldn't help but
overhear your little argument.
374
00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:15,054
Uh, yeah. Do you
think it's possible
375
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:16,822
that you could send Carrie out?
376
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:18,290
She's too upset.
377
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:20,425
You can't talk to her
when she's like this.
378
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,661
Listen, you seem
like a good kid.
379
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,796
Wait here, and I'll
go talk to her.
380
00:19:24,865 --> 00:19:26,332
Try to patch things up.
381
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:29,235
No promises, but I'll
see what I can do.
382
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:02,601
Sorry, son. No go.
383
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:03,735
Really?
384
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,204
Believe me, I tried.
385
00:20:05,272 --> 00:20:07,106
But she didn't wanna
hear a word of it.
386
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:09,074
Anyway, it was a
pleasure to meet you.
387
00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:10,976
Maybe someday, when
this blows over,
388
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:13,779
we'll sit on my boat
and have a good laugh.
389
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,281
If you still have to pee,
390
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,883
feel free to go on the azaleas.
They're hers.
391
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:30,195
Doug?
392
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:32,298
Yes?
393
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:34,766
Did you just say you were
gonna tell me you loved me?
394
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,335
Yes. Yes, I did.
395
00:20:38,171 --> 00:20:39,871
Did you just pee in our bushes?
396
00:20:39,940 --> 00:20:41,440
Yes. Yes, I did.
397
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:46,378
I love you.
398
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:47,813
I love you, too.
399
00:20:51,985 --> 00:20:53,752
Where you going?
400
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:55,287
Carrie, come back!
401
00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:57,389
He's got no future!
402
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,158
I'm tellin' you, the two of you
403
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:01,626
will be livin' in my
house within 5 years!
404
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:04,596
Carrie!
405
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,631
And we drove off. End of story.
406
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:09,868
I said "I love you" first,
right after you peed.
407
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:11,003
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
408
00:21:11,071 --> 00:21:13,138
Are you even listening
to your own story?
409
00:21:13,206 --> 00:21:15,640
Way before that, I said,
"I love you, dumb ass."
410
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:17,742
No, no. You said,
411
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:20,612
"'I was gonna say I
love you, dumb ass.'"
412
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,214
but you didn't actually say it.
413
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:25,184
And by the way, "dumb ass"
kind of killed it anyway.
414
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:27,386
Now you're punchin' wild. You
know it's the same thing.
415
00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:30,422
It's not the same thing. If you say
you're gonna take the garbage out,
416
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,691
but you don't actually
take the garbage out,
417
00:21:32,758 --> 00:21:35,260
is the garbage out?
418
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:36,761
I don't know where
the garbage is...
419
00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:40,299
Look, the point is, the
words "I love you"
420
00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:43,235
were never said
until I said them.
421
00:21:47,007 --> 00:21:49,208
Well, I said "I wanna
have sex" first.
422
00:21:49,275 --> 00:21:51,176
That was all you, yeah.
423
00:22:12,406 --> 00:22:13,506
What's that?
424
00:22:13,575 --> 00:22:15,909
It's the new engraving
and buffing machine.