1
00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:06,039
A paintball party?
2
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,574
You say it like you've never
heard those 2 words together.
3
00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:10,277
All right. So let me
get this straight.
4
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:13,213
We drive 100 miles up
into the catskills
5
00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,981
in order to run
around in the muck
6
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:17,350
and shoot balls of
paint at each other?
7
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:18,451
Yes.
8
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:19,920
Oy.
9
00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:21,754
Come on. It's Deacon's birthday.
10
00:00:21,823 --> 00:00:23,857
You don't think maybe the
guy should get to choose
11
00:00:23,925 --> 00:00:25,625
what he wants to do
on his own birthday?
12
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,427
Honey, you really
want to do this?
13
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:28,561
I don't care.
14
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,396
Yes, he does.
15
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,165
Fine. Can't afford
to paint the house,
16
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,800
but we can cram it into guns
17
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:36,036
and shoot it at each other.
18
00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:38,538
What are you running from?
19
00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:41,674
Ok, can we order now?
I'm starving.
20
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:44,410
I come knowin' what I want.
21
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,386
Hmm?
22
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:54,754
Pool table.
23
00:00:57,992 --> 00:00:59,392
Uh-huh, no. No.
24
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,432
Mmm.
25
00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:09,769
Burger looks good.
26
00:01:29,023 --> 00:01:29,938
How's that?
27
00:01:29,963 --> 00:01:31,630
That's good. Ok.
28
00:02:13,670 --> 00:02:14,397
If you like
29
00:02:14,422 --> 00:02:15,983
what the girls do
during the day,
30
00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:17,611
wait till you see 'em at night.
31
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:21,115
Stay tuned for more college
girls: Crazy in Rio.
32
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:24,152
Oy. 200 channels and nothing on.
33
00:02:25,553 --> 00:02:26,821
It's ok, Doug.
34
00:02:26,889 --> 00:02:30,191
You can watch your
college sluts in Rio.
35
00:02:30,259 --> 00:02:32,760
They're not my college sluts.
36
00:02:32,828 --> 00:02:33,995
And just so you know,
37
00:02:34,062 --> 00:02:35,129
next time we're out
38
00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:36,697
and you see a girl
you think is hot,
39
00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:37,765
you can look.
40
00:02:37,833 --> 00:02:38,833
I can?
41
00:02:38,901 --> 00:02:40,334
Yes. Just don't be a jerk
42
00:02:40,402 --> 00:02:41,435
when you do it,
43
00:02:41,503 --> 00:02:43,104
like that thing you
do with your eyes.
44
00:02:43,172 --> 00:02:45,173
It's so creepy. Doesn't it hurt?
45
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:46,941
A little, but I...
I push through.
46
00:02:47,009 --> 00:02:48,709
Doug, come on. You
know what I'm saying.
47
00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:50,211
I mean, just because
we're married,
48
00:02:50,279 --> 00:02:51,979
doesn't mean we're not
gonna be attracted
49
00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,414
to other people once in a while.
50
00:02:53,481 --> 00:02:56,217
You know, it's ok.
51
00:02:56,285 --> 00:02:58,119
I mean, I would be
worried if you weren't.
52
00:02:58,187 --> 00:02:59,320
Like janee, my nail girl.
53
00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:00,487
You think she's hot, right?
54
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:01,588
No. Doug?
55
00:03:01,656 --> 00:03:02,723
Yes.
56
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:05,526
You see? It's ok. You
can just tell me.
57
00:03:05,593 --> 00:03:07,929
You don't have to lurk
outside the salon window
58
00:03:07,996 --> 00:03:09,997
when you come to pick me up.
59
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,999
She's purty!
60
00:03:13,335 --> 00:03:15,203
Yes, she is.
61
00:03:15,270 --> 00:03:16,838
So, come on. Anybody else?
62
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,940
You can tell me.
63
00:03:19,007 --> 00:03:20,208
Yeah, well...
64
00:03:20,275 --> 00:03:23,110
I guess there's Maggie
at the dry cleaners.
65
00:03:23,178 --> 00:03:25,379
Oh, and this toll taker
on the whitestone bridge.
66
00:03:25,447 --> 00:03:27,548
I mean, from the waist up,
she's mmm-wah! Ha-ha.
67
00:03:27,615 --> 00:03:30,417
The rest of her, that's
anybody's guess.
68
00:03:30,485 --> 00:03:33,387
That's why you
didn't get e-z pass.
69
00:03:34,622 --> 00:03:36,824
So who revs old Carrie up, huh?
70
00:03:37,792 --> 00:03:39,927
All right. Um, well,
71
00:03:39,995 --> 00:03:42,463
I ain't hatin' that kid,
Pedro, at the car wash.
72
00:03:42,530 --> 00:03:43,664
Whoa! What the...
73
00:03:43,732 --> 00:03:45,366
Young, buff, and illegal.
74
00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:47,301
Good choice. Good choice.
75
00:03:47,369 --> 00:03:48,469
So who else? Come on.
76
00:03:48,536 --> 00:03:50,271
I wanna... I wanna know
what kind of nympho
77
00:03:50,339 --> 00:03:51,538
I'm dealin' with here.
78
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,207
Ok, um...
79
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,641
Well, the sparkletts guy.
80
00:03:54,709 --> 00:03:55,776
Ok.
81
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,144
Eric at the office,
82
00:03:57,212 --> 00:03:58,479
hmm. Deacon.
83
00:03:59,547 --> 00:04:02,149
Oh, and that guy who power-walks
84
00:04:02,217 --> 00:04:04,051
his grey hound in the morning.
85
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:06,053
I'm pretty sure
he's gay, though.
86
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,454
You don't have to
worry about it.
87
00:04:07,522 --> 00:04:08,956
I mean, those little
shorts, right?
88
00:04:09,024 --> 00:04:10,124
Right?
89
00:04:10,192 --> 00:04:12,459
So, Deacon, huh?
90
00:04:12,527 --> 00:04:14,795
Yeah. Deacon, among others.
91
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,964
But among others, Deacon.
92
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:19,433
Yeah.
93
00:04:19,501 --> 00:04:21,668
So, milady's got a
thing for Deacon.
94
00:04:21,736 --> 00:04:23,704
Wants some Deacon and eggs.
95
00:04:24,739 --> 00:04:26,073
I don't have a thing for him,
96
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:27,441
and it's no more of a big deal
97
00:04:27,509 --> 00:04:28,976
than the ones you said.
98
00:04:29,044 --> 00:04:30,111
It's not a big deal.
99
00:04:30,178 --> 00:04:31,478
It's just a fun fact, you know?
100
00:04:31,546 --> 00:04:34,015
Like a fruit fly
lives for a day,
101
00:04:34,082 --> 00:04:37,051
and my wife's hot
for my best friend.
102
00:04:37,119 --> 00:04:38,519
Who would have thunk it?
103
00:04:38,586 --> 00:04:39,954
I don't know.
104
00:04:42,291 --> 00:04:43,690
And we are back.
105
00:04:43,758 --> 00:04:46,093
New York down 2,
3 minutes to go.
106
00:04:48,030 --> 00:04:49,030
What?
107
00:04:49,097 --> 00:04:50,364
Nothin'. I was just...
108
00:04:50,432 --> 00:04:51,665
I just noticed that your ear's
109
00:04:51,733 --> 00:04:54,969
a little small for your head.
110
00:04:55,037 --> 00:04:57,405
A little bit. Just a little bit.
111
00:04:57,472 --> 00:04:58,672
I'll tell you, Doug.
112
00:04:58,740 --> 00:05:00,041
This is great hangin' like this.
113
00:05:00,108 --> 00:05:01,875
Yeah. Glad you could
make it, guy.
114
00:05:01,944 --> 00:05:03,877
I mean before my pizza place
went out of business,
115
00:05:03,946 --> 00:05:05,879
I... I wouldn't have time
for this stuff. Huh.
116
00:05:05,948 --> 00:05:08,715
Too busy makin' a living.
117
00:05:08,783 --> 00:05:10,251
Everything works
out for a reason.
118
00:05:10,319 --> 00:05:12,386
Whoo! I'll tell ya. I am
really lookin' forward
119
00:05:12,454 --> 00:05:13,887
to this paintball party.
120
00:05:13,956 --> 00:05:15,856
I could use a little relaxation.
121
00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:18,592
Pow, pow, pow! Pow,
pow, pow, pow, pow!
122
00:05:20,162 --> 00:05:21,762
You spot me a ride up there?
123
00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:23,130
What happened to your car?
124
00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:25,132
Ah, I sold it to buy
a karaoke machine
125
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,401
to pump up business. Huh!
126
00:05:27,469 --> 00:05:28,802
A little late on that fad.
127
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:29,870
Pow!
128
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,907
Well. I... I can take
8 in my minivan.
129
00:05:33,976 --> 00:05:35,142
Who's going?
130
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,677
Uh. Let's see. You got us, uh,
131
00:05:36,744 --> 00:05:39,413
plus Carrie, Kelly, uh,
my sister Stephanie.
132
00:05:39,481 --> 00:05:41,282
Yeah, ride with us, Danny.
133
00:05:42,084 --> 00:05:43,184
Hey, guys.
134
00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:44,318
Hey, man. What's goin' on?
135
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,419
What's happenin'?
136
00:05:45,487 --> 00:05:47,521
Oh, I was just, uh, drivin' by.
137
00:05:47,589 --> 00:05:50,824
Couldn't help noticing all
the cars of my friends.
138
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,126
Come on, man.
139
00:05:52,194 --> 00:05:53,294
This wasn't planned.
140
00:05:53,362 --> 00:05:54,761
It just sort of happened.
141
00:05:54,829 --> 00:05:57,698
And I suppose hot
wings just happened.
142
00:05:58,533 --> 00:05:59,800
Will you stop?
143
00:05:59,868 --> 00:06:01,369
You remember my
cousin Danny, right?
144
00:06:01,436 --> 00:06:02,803
Hey, man. Good to see you.
145
00:06:02,871 --> 00:06:04,472
Hello. Come on, guys.
146
00:06:04,539 --> 00:06:07,074
Sit down, hang out
and watch the game.
147
00:06:09,611 --> 00:06:13,414
I would, but my seat is ocupado.
148
00:06:13,482 --> 00:06:14,882
Fine. Here. Sit here, ok?
149
00:06:14,949 --> 00:06:16,150
I'm goin' back to the house.
150
00:06:16,218 --> 00:06:17,485
Anybody want anything?
151
00:06:17,552 --> 00:06:19,453
Some more hot wings? Deac?
152
00:06:19,521 --> 00:06:21,889
Uh. No, thanks, man. Tryin'
to drop a few pounds.
153
00:06:21,956 --> 00:06:24,958
Good. Glad you're
on top of that.
154
00:06:25,027 --> 00:06:26,693
Man, I didn't know Doug's sister
155
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,229
was comin' on this
paintball thing.
156
00:06:28,296 --> 00:06:30,097
I'm thinkin' maybe
I shouldn't go.
157
00:06:30,165 --> 00:06:31,265
Why not?
158
00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:32,633
Well, like, 10 years ago,
159
00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:34,402
we all went on
this big ski trip,
160
00:06:34,469 --> 00:06:35,869
shared this big condo.
161
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,138
Yeah. So?
162
00:06:37,205 --> 00:06:39,640
Yeah. So, we had
a couple drinks,
163
00:06:39,707 --> 00:06:41,808
and let's just say I
threw one her way.
164
00:06:41,876 --> 00:06:44,478
Ah. That's very sweet of you.
165
00:06:44,546 --> 00:06:46,013
I told her that I
really liked her.
166
00:06:46,081 --> 00:06:47,381
I promised that I'd call
167
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,016
as soon as we got
back to the city.
168
00:06:49,084 --> 00:06:51,285
Here's the kicker,
169
00:06:51,353 --> 00:06:52,686
I never did.
170
00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:54,621
Get out.
171
00:06:56,058 --> 00:06:57,724
So, Deac.
172
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,760
The big 33.
173
00:06:59,827 --> 00:07:02,796
Hey. We have got to do something
special for your birthday.
174
00:07:02,864 --> 00:07:04,231
Oh. We are.
175
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,300
Yeah. Doug's throwing me a
paintball party upstate.
176
00:07:06,368 --> 00:07:07,468
What?
177
00:07:07,536 --> 00:07:08,802
I told you, like, a month ago.
178
00:07:08,870 --> 00:07:10,204
You remember? You...
you called it
179
00:07:10,272 --> 00:07:13,174
"a barbaric throwback to the
worst in human nature."
180
00:07:13,241 --> 00:07:15,742
I just say things to
hear myself talk.
181
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,744
You know that.
182
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,447
Well. The thing is,
I mean, the teams,
183
00:07:19,514 --> 00:07:20,714
they gotta be even,
184
00:07:20,782 --> 00:07:23,484
and I, uh, I already
invited Danny.
185
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,689
Oh. I see. Um...
186
00:07:28,756 --> 00:07:30,524
Hey, uh, I'm late for a thing.
187
00:07:30,592 --> 00:07:32,293
Uh, goodbye.
188
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:33,827
Would you hold on, Spence?
189
00:07:33,895 --> 00:07:35,696
You can come.
190
00:07:35,763 --> 00:07:38,165
No, no. I wouldn't want to
uneven your precious teams.
191
00:07:38,233 --> 00:07:39,500
Spence, it's ok.
192
00:07:39,568 --> 00:07:40,601
Forget it.
193
00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,269
I don't want to get in the way
194
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,505
of all this time you've been
spending with your little cousin.
195
00:07:44,573 --> 00:07:46,873
And by the way, I know
about the jets game.
196
00:07:48,143 --> 00:07:49,276
I... I only took Danny
197
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,245
'cause he's goin' through
a hard time right now.
198
00:07:51,313 --> 00:07:52,946
You're comin' to paintball.
You got it?
199
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,881
No! You're comin', even
if I gotta tackle you
200
00:07:54,949 --> 00:07:56,450
and strap you to the
hood of my car.
201
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:57,985
What are you yellin'
at Spence for?
202
00:07:58,052 --> 00:07:59,786
Because my wife
thinks you're hot.
203
00:08:02,591 --> 00:08:03,957
Honey. Come on.
204
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,759
We got about a million
people to pick up.
205
00:08:05,827 --> 00:08:07,161
Uh, coming.
206
00:08:08,630 --> 00:08:11,165
I am one handsome black man.
207
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:14,335
What are you doing,
208
00:08:14,402 --> 00:08:15,636
staring at yourself
in the mirror?
209
00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:18,038
How do you keep
your hands off me?
210
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,674
What is with you today?
211
00:08:20,742 --> 00:08:22,075
Nothing.
212
00:08:22,144 --> 00:08:23,777
Oh. Some little
honey on your route
213
00:08:23,845 --> 00:08:25,179
thought you were fine?
214
00:08:25,247 --> 00:08:26,313
Nope.
215
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,815
At least not anyone on my route.
216
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:29,950
So, who, then?
217
00:08:30,018 --> 00:08:31,318
Mmm. Better not tell you.
218
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:32,653
I don't want to get you jealous
219
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,221
and get those claws out.
220
00:08:34,289 --> 00:08:35,889
Oh, please, honey.
221
00:08:35,957 --> 00:08:38,325
I think I can handle it.
222
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:41,295
♪ It's a beautiful mornin'
223
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,798
♪ ah
224
00:08:44,866 --> 00:08:49,136
♪ I think I'll go
outside for a while ♪
225
00:08:49,204 --> 00:08:52,373
♪ and just smile
226
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,942
♪ just diggin' some
clean, fresh air 'cause ♪
227
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:09,664
All right, people. Listen up.
228
00:09:09,732 --> 00:09:10,966
Ok, now, the object
229
00:09:11,033 --> 00:09:12,767
is to capture your enemy's flag.
230
00:09:12,835 --> 00:09:15,604
Ok, now, remember, we're
out here to have fun,
231
00:09:15,671 --> 00:09:17,473
but also to kill.
232
00:09:17,540 --> 00:09:19,007
Any questions?
233
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,679
Ok, then.
234
00:09:26,583 --> 00:09:28,217
Here. Hon. Let me
help you with that.
235
00:09:28,284 --> 00:09:29,718
I got it,
236
00:09:29,785 --> 00:09:31,987
but maybe you ought to
go help your girlfriend.
237
00:09:36,226 --> 00:09:37,626
Need some help with that?
238
00:09:37,693 --> 00:09:39,428
No, I think I got it.
239
00:09:41,897 --> 00:09:43,398
Been a long time, huh?
240
00:09:43,466 --> 00:09:44,799
Has it?
241
00:09:44,867 --> 00:09:47,436
You look real good.
242
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,305
You mean I'm not the
fat cow I used to be.
243
00:09:50,373 --> 00:09:52,508
Yeah, right.
244
00:09:52,575 --> 00:09:54,676
Ok, well, let's get
this show on the road.
245
00:09:54,744 --> 00:09:56,678
Where the hell is Carrie?
246
00:09:58,748 --> 00:10:00,249
Ok. That was unpleasant.
247
00:10:00,316 --> 00:10:02,484
Could you hurry up? We're
choosing up teams.
248
00:10:02,552 --> 00:10:03,718
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
249
00:10:03,786 --> 00:10:05,420
It was so lovely in
there, I lingered.
250
00:10:05,488 --> 00:10:07,122
Hey, could you make
a little effort
251
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,357
to enjoy this?
252
00:10:08,424 --> 00:10:11,326
If not for me, at
least for Deacon.
253
00:10:11,394 --> 00:10:13,762
Oy, would you stop
with that already?
254
00:10:13,829 --> 00:10:15,264
You're the one who can't stop...
255
00:10:15,331 --> 00:10:16,898
Loving him.
256
00:10:16,966 --> 00:10:18,133
Yeah. That's right, Doug.
257
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,434
I got it bad for Deacon.
258
00:10:19,502 --> 00:10:21,136
Guess what? We're
planning to kill you
259
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,672
and run away with your millions.
260
00:10:23,739 --> 00:10:25,274
Hey. Come on, man.
Let's choose sides
261
00:10:25,341 --> 00:10:26,608
and get this paint war started.
262
00:10:26,676 --> 00:10:28,443
You can have first pick.
263
00:10:28,511 --> 00:10:29,811
Let me see.
264
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:34,283
Who would I like to
have by my side?
265
00:10:34,350 --> 00:10:36,218
I will take Kelly.
266
00:10:36,286 --> 00:10:37,886
Get over here, Ms. foxy brown.
267
00:10:37,953 --> 00:10:39,588
Comin', colonel.
268
00:10:39,656 --> 00:10:41,823
Ok. You got my wife,
I'll take yours.
269
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,059
Carrie. Come on, sugar.
270
00:10:44,126 --> 00:10:47,162
Yes. This just feels right.
271
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,764
Yeah? Well, we can just
stop pickin' right now,
272
00:10:49,832 --> 00:10:50,999
and we'd have a winning team.
273
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,935
Oh, yeah? Well, so can we.
274
00:10:54,003 --> 00:10:56,004
I guess we'd better
keep pickin', though.
275
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,474
I take Louis.
276
00:11:01,377 --> 00:11:02,678
You know what?
277
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,746
Why doesn't someone just
give me a wedgie now
278
00:11:04,814 --> 00:11:06,915
and complete my humiliation?
279
00:11:06,982 --> 00:11:08,483
Well, I told you you'd be extra.
280
00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:09,651
Well, what are we gonna do?
281
00:11:09,719 --> 00:11:11,186
Excuse me.
282
00:11:14,357 --> 00:11:17,826
Do you need any
additional personnel?
283
00:11:17,893 --> 00:11:19,894
Uh, uh, yeah, great.
We'll, uh...
284
00:11:19,962 --> 00:11:21,162
We'll get you some equipment.
285
00:11:21,231 --> 00:11:22,564
No need.
286
00:11:22,632 --> 00:11:24,966
I have all the
necessary equipment...
287
00:11:25,034 --> 00:11:26,468
In my vehicle.
288
00:11:37,012 --> 00:11:38,447
Ok, how long are
we gonna sit here?
289
00:11:38,514 --> 00:11:39,581
'Cause I gotta be honest.
290
00:11:39,649 --> 00:11:41,082
I really thought
there was gonna be
291
00:11:41,150 --> 00:11:42,484
a lot more running and shooting.
292
00:11:42,552 --> 00:11:44,253
This is a lot of... lurking.
293
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,054
Shh!
294
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,422
It's just that we only
rented the field till 2:30.
295
00:11:47,490 --> 00:11:48,890
After that, we've
gotta pay extra.
296
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,091
Shh!
297
00:11:50,159 --> 00:11:51,493
Ok, you don't have to shush me!
Ok?
298
00:11:51,561 --> 00:11:52,561
I'm a person.
299
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,529
We've been sittin' here
for 45 minutes, ok?
300
00:11:54,597 --> 00:11:55,997
I want to start shootin' people.
301
00:11:56,065 --> 00:11:58,433
Doug, yelling at me
will not keep your wife
302
00:11:58,501 --> 00:12:01,336
from lusting after
your best friend.
303
00:12:01,404 --> 00:12:02,804
How... how did you know that?
304
00:12:02,872 --> 00:12:04,573
I believe the question is,
305
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,476
"how did you not know?"
306
00:12:07,543 --> 00:12:09,678
They're... they're not having
an affair or anything.
307
00:12:09,746 --> 00:12:11,647
You know, she just, uh,
308
00:12:11,714 --> 00:12:13,682
thinks he's kind of attractive,
309
00:12:13,750 --> 00:12:15,651
but it doesn't really matter.
310
00:12:15,718 --> 00:12:17,252
And it's eating you alive.
311
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,854
Yes, it is. Yep, yep.
312
00:12:33,969 --> 00:12:36,137
Time for a 2nd coat.
313
00:12:36,205 --> 00:12:39,508
Ow! It's just a
game, you psycho.
314
00:12:39,575 --> 00:12:40,676
Let's go, Doug.
315
00:12:40,743 --> 00:12:42,411
Oh, I'm sorry. Are
you all right, man?
316
00:12:42,478 --> 00:12:43,478
Doug!
317
00:12:43,546 --> 00:12:44,846
I gotta go.
318
00:12:57,393 --> 00:12:59,961
Try and take my place?
319
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,063
Think again, pizza boy.
320
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:11,906
Crap.
321
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:19,848
Hey.
322
00:13:19,915 --> 00:13:21,983
Oh. Hi, Kel.
323
00:13:22,785 --> 00:13:24,219
Kill anybody yet?
324
00:13:24,286 --> 00:13:25,320
Nope.
325
00:13:27,156 --> 00:13:29,391
God, this paintball
thing is so stupid.
326
00:13:29,459 --> 00:13:30,592
I know.
327
00:13:35,598 --> 00:13:37,332
Oh! Oh, it's on now!
328
00:13:44,507 --> 00:13:46,040
Oh, my God.
329
00:13:46,108 --> 00:13:47,776
You ok? What's goin' on?
330
00:13:47,844 --> 00:13:49,478
Your wife's gunning for me.
331
00:13:49,545 --> 00:13:50,812
She's got crazy eyes.
332
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,047
Oh. She's taking this
worse than I thought.
333
00:13:53,115 --> 00:13:55,116
Taking what worse?
334
00:13:55,184 --> 00:13:56,852
You know.
335
00:13:58,220 --> 00:13:59,454
Oh, my God.
336
00:13:59,522 --> 00:14:00,822
Did Doug tell you?
337
00:14:00,890 --> 00:14:01,923
Uh-huh.
338
00:14:01,991 --> 00:14:03,592
Oh, my.
339
00:14:03,659 --> 00:14:05,260
God. Ok.
340
00:14:05,327 --> 00:14:06,762
Chunky dies today.
341
00:14:20,242 --> 00:14:22,811
Hey! That went right by my ear.
342
00:14:22,879 --> 00:14:25,046
Yeah, 'cause I missed.
343
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,516
All right. Now I
gotta shoot you.
344
00:14:27,583 --> 00:14:28,917
Fine. Just don't say
345
00:14:28,984 --> 00:14:31,620
you're gonna call me
after you shoot me.
346
00:14:31,687 --> 00:14:34,389
Hey, look. I'm sorry about
not calling you, ok?
347
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:38,026
It's... it's just that,
uh, my phone was broke.
348
00:14:38,093 --> 00:14:39,828
And I... I blew my
nose on the napkin
349
00:14:39,896 --> 00:14:41,162
that had your number on it,
350
00:14:41,230 --> 00:14:43,164
and I couldn't tell
if it was 667...
351
00:14:43,232 --> 00:14:44,299
Would you shut up?
352
00:14:44,366 --> 00:14:46,701
You know, I... I really
liked you, Richie.
353
00:14:46,769 --> 00:14:47,869
Sorry.
354
00:14:48,905 --> 00:14:50,939
But you know what?
355
00:14:51,006 --> 00:14:52,974
Hand to God. When
I saw you today,
356
00:14:53,042 --> 00:14:55,410
I thought, "wow."
357
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,045
She looks good now."
358
00:14:58,448 --> 00:14:59,448
Really?
359
00:15:01,851 --> 00:15:03,251
That's sweet.
360
00:15:04,687 --> 00:15:05,654
Oh!
361
00:15:07,056 --> 00:15:09,624
Jeez. My aim is better
than I thought.
362
00:15:11,427 --> 00:15:13,995
Look, Richie. I'm, I'm sorry.
363
00:15:14,063 --> 00:15:16,064
I'm sorry, Richie.
You're gonna be ok.
364
00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:17,899
Oh.
365
00:15:20,703 --> 00:15:22,270
Ah! I'm out of ammo!
366
00:15:24,607 --> 00:15:26,575
I'm out, too.
367
00:15:26,642 --> 00:15:28,343
So, what do we do now?
368
00:15:29,479 --> 00:15:31,813
First, we calm down.
369
00:15:33,315 --> 00:15:35,350
I think my crown came loose.
370
00:15:36,586 --> 00:15:37,652
Our only chance
371
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,320
is to head for those
woods over there,
372
00:15:39,388 --> 00:15:41,923
pick up more ammunition,
and head on back.
373
00:15:41,991 --> 00:15:43,057
Ok. Ok.
374
00:15:45,561 --> 00:15:46,561
Um...
375
00:15:46,629 --> 00:15:48,429
I don't know if you
believe in God.
376
00:15:48,498 --> 00:15:51,533
But this might be a fine
time to say a little prayer.
377
00:15:51,601 --> 00:15:53,034
Ok. Ok.
378
00:15:55,838 --> 00:15:56,771
Well...
379
00:15:57,573 --> 00:15:58,740
Oh, God,
380
00:15:59,575 --> 00:16:01,409
bless us, father,
381
00:16:01,477 --> 00:16:02,511
for the paint
382
00:16:02,578 --> 00:16:04,946
we are about to shoot...
383
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:09,150
I'm really more
of an "amen" guy.
384
00:16:11,621 --> 00:16:12,988
Doug, let's go. On 3.
385
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,823
1, 2...
386
00:16:17,359 --> 00:16:20,028
He, uh, he didn't give me a 3.
387
00:16:46,856 --> 00:16:48,590
Hold it.
388
00:16:48,658 --> 00:16:50,158
Oh, God.
389
00:16:53,195 --> 00:16:54,896
Why are you stalking me?
390
00:16:54,964 --> 00:16:56,464
I'm not.
391
00:16:56,532 --> 00:16:57,866
What did I ever do to you?
392
00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,435
None of your b-I-beeswax!
393
00:17:24,526 --> 00:17:27,495
I left my inhaler in the van.
394
00:17:29,899 --> 00:17:31,666
Take that!
395
00:17:39,742 --> 00:17:41,009
Please! No!
396
00:17:58,393 --> 00:17:59,761
This is fun.
397
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:00,862
Yeah.
398
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:03,999
Ha!
399
00:18:12,474 --> 00:18:14,542
Ok, you never told
me what this means.
400
00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:16,611
I don't even know.
401
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:17,946
Where are they? All right?
402
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,981
Maybe you were wrong.
Maybe they're not here.
403
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,242
I can't... I can't do this.
404
00:18:49,145 --> 00:18:51,946
I'm not good at war.
405
00:18:52,014 --> 00:18:54,382
You really don't have an
ounce of self-respect,
406
00:18:54,449 --> 00:18:55,616
do you?
407
00:18:55,685 --> 00:18:57,585
I just want lunch.
408
00:18:57,653 --> 00:19:00,121
For God's sakes, man.
Tuck in your underwear.
409
00:19:06,528 --> 00:19:08,262
Ok, I gotta get back.
410
00:19:12,534 --> 00:19:14,102
Hey. Stephanie.
411
00:19:15,871 --> 00:19:17,338
So are you gonna call me?
412
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,640
Yeah, sure. I'll...
I'll call you.
413
00:19:25,647 --> 00:19:27,515
All right.
414
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:30,384
What do we have here?
415
00:19:33,155 --> 00:19:34,956
Oh, extra crispy.
416
00:19:35,024 --> 00:19:36,290
Winner.
417
00:19:37,059 --> 00:19:38,593
Don't move.
418
00:19:41,063 --> 00:19:42,197
You're right, Carrie.
419
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,065
Yep. He likes his chicken.
420
00:19:44,133 --> 00:19:46,768
Yeah? Well. Now he's
finger-lickin' dead.
421
00:19:48,237 --> 00:19:49,270
Good one.
422
00:19:49,338 --> 00:19:51,139
So long, my man.
423
00:19:51,841 --> 00:19:52,874
Hold it!
424
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,743
Yeow!
425
00:19:54,810 --> 00:19:56,144
Go ahead, man. Pull the trigger,
426
00:19:56,212 --> 00:19:58,012
but if you shoot me,
Kelly shoots you.
427
00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,981
Yeah, well, if Kelly shoots
me, Carrie shoots Kelly.
428
00:20:00,049 --> 00:20:01,116
Then I shoot Carrie.
429
00:20:01,183 --> 00:20:02,416
Doug, you shoot me,
430
00:20:02,484 --> 00:20:03,785
and you're never
getting sex again.
431
00:20:03,853 --> 00:20:04,953
You can't do that!
432
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:06,221
Oh, it's done.
433
00:20:07,857 --> 00:20:09,690
All right, we're
gettin' crazy here.
434
00:20:09,759 --> 00:20:10,792
Look, man, we...
435
00:20:10,860 --> 00:20:12,326
We all came up here to celebrate
436
00:20:12,394 --> 00:20:13,427
my best friend's birthday,
437
00:20:13,495 --> 00:20:15,496
and we're acting like idiots.
438
00:20:15,564 --> 00:20:17,665
Come on, let's all just...
439
00:20:17,733 --> 00:20:20,368
Let's calm down, ok?
440
00:20:20,435 --> 00:20:21,803
All right. You're right.
441
00:20:21,871 --> 00:20:23,337
I'm tired.
442
00:20:24,940 --> 00:20:25,940
What was that?
443
00:20:26,008 --> 00:20:27,041
Nothin'.
444
00:20:27,109 --> 00:20:28,176
You were gonna shoot me,
445
00:20:28,244 --> 00:20:29,410
but your gun jammed.
446
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:30,979
I think you're wrong.
447
00:20:31,046 --> 00:20:32,613
Oh, man. You are unbelievable.
448
00:20:32,681 --> 00:20:33,782
Leave him alone!
449
00:20:33,849 --> 00:20:35,216
This is your fault, Deacon!
450
00:20:35,284 --> 00:20:37,351
Hey! I can't help bein' fine.
451
00:20:38,587 --> 00:20:39,888
And I can't believe
452
00:20:39,955 --> 00:20:42,223
you told Deacon what I said.
453
00:20:42,291 --> 00:20:44,392
Well, I couldn't have told
him if you didn't tell me.
454
00:20:44,459 --> 00:20:45,526
You asked.
455
00:20:45,594 --> 00:20:46,961
I didn't want to hear Deacon.
456
00:20:47,029 --> 00:20:49,197
I wanted Pedro at the car wash.
457
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,133
All right. You're right.
458
00:20:52,201 --> 00:20:54,468
I... I... I started
this whole thing.
459
00:20:56,872 --> 00:21:00,108
Go ahead. Take a
free shot at me.
460
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:01,509
I'm not gonna shoot you.
461
00:21:01,576 --> 00:21:03,477
No. Come on. Come on.
You'll feel better.
462
00:21:03,545 --> 00:21:06,414
Here. Have a piece of
chicken and shoot me.
463
00:21:06,481 --> 00:21:08,249
You'll be a new man.
464
00:21:08,317 --> 00:21:09,617
Hold it.
465
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,719
Say good night, little lady.
466
00:21:32,407 --> 00:21:34,475
I thought he was going
for the chicken.
467
00:21:49,667 --> 00:21:51,367
Honey, I'm home!
468
00:21:52,570 --> 00:21:54,637
Where the hell have you been?
469
00:21:54,705 --> 00:21:58,007
Oh, were you at that stupid
paintball place again?
470
00:21:58,075 --> 00:21:59,242
I... I went... I went...
I just...
471
00:21:59,310 --> 00:22:00,510
"I went... I went... I went..."
472
00:22:00,578 --> 00:22:02,778
You know the Hendersons
are coming for bridge.
473
00:22:02,846 --> 00:22:04,113
I mean, look at you.
474
00:22:04,181 --> 00:22:05,981
Would you take that
stupid rag off your head?
475
00:22:06,049 --> 00:22:08,784
I got... I got... I got
the ice cream you wanted.
476
00:22:10,254 --> 00:22:11,821
This is frozen yogurt.
477
00:22:11,888 --> 00:22:13,756
My God. You're an idiot.
478
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:18,127
I'll go back.