1 00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:06,672 [MUSIC] 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,174 YEAH. EVEN THE RADIO WORKS. 3 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,051 AND ALL THE DOORS... 4 00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:13,262 THEY OPEN! 5 00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:14,763 AND IT'S GOT BRAKES TOO. 6 00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:16,974 I MEAN, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? 7 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,143 I MEAN, MY UNCLE, HE JUST GAVE IT TO ME. 8 00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,145 HE GAVE IT TO ME, FOR FREE! 9 00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:23,147 THAT IS INSANE. 10 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:27,484 I WOULD PAY TENS OF DOLLARS FOR THIS. 11 00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:31,613 [COUGHS] OR NOT. 12 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:34,408 DID HE OWN A CAT? 13 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,035 YEAH. I'M GETTING AN AIR FRESHENER. 14 00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:37,745 YEAH. GET A BIG ONE. 15 00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:41,957 GUYS, GUYS, THIS THING IS LIKE A BEDROOM ON WHEELS. 16 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,710 NO MORE, "MICHAEL, THE BACKSEAT'S TOO SMALL." 17 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,546 MICHAEL, YOU'RE ON MY HAIR. 18 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,591 MICHAEL, YOU'RE CHOKING ME. 19 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,342 THAT'S OVER. 20 00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:56,972 WOW, LOOK AT THIS PIECE OF JUNK. 21 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,640 THIS IS MY VAN. 22 00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:01,685 [LAUGHS] 23 00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,687 YEAH? WELL, YOU KNOW, 24 00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:05,981 I HAD A FORD DELIVERY VAN IN HIGH SCHOOL. 25 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:09,985 YEAH, IT'S A LOT OF FUN TILL SOMEBODY GETS PREG... 26 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,487 YOU GOT TO BE CAREFUL IN THIS VAN, KELSO, 27 00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:13,113 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 28 00:01:13,281 --> 00:01:16,575 AN IDIOT WOULD KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 29 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,578 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 30 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,997 SELL THE VAN, KID. 31 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:23,874 WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 32 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,501 OH, I'M HAPPY. 33 00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:26,960 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? 34 00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:30,839 SHOULDN'T YOU GUYS BE MEDITATING OR SOMETHING? 35 00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:32,966 HEY, COME HERE, FORMAN. 36 00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:35,636 I WANT YOU TO FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS VERY LARGE 37 00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:39,640 AND FLAT CARGO AREA. 38 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:42,559 WOW, YOU COULD HAUL PLYWOOD IN THIS. 39 00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:44,228 RIGHT... 40 00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:48,023 OR DONNA. 41 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:52,152 WHY WOULD I WANT TO HAUL... OH, RIGHT! OKAY. 42 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,488 NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE WOULDN'T DO IT IN A VAN. 43 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,490 SHE WANTS IT TO BE SPECIAL. 44 00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:57,950 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKIN' ABOUT? 45 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,535 OH, UH... 46 00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,703 PLYWOOD. 47 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,372 GOOD, GOOD. 48 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:04,832 'CAUSE I'M NOT DOING IT IN A VAN. 49 00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:06,542 OH. 50 00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:08,627 OH, YOU KNOW WHAT'LL MAKE IT REALLY SPECIAL? 51 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:14,842 NOT TALKIN' TO YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT US DOING IT. 52 00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:18,262 ♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪ 53 00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:21,849 ♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪ 54 00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:25,644 ♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪ 55 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,939 ♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪ 56 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:33,068 ♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪ 57 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:36,864 ♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪ 58 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:40,409 ♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT, WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪ 59 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,370 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER AND FOX BROADCASTING 60 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:46,707 HELLO, WISCONSIN! 61 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,963 OKAY, ERIC, IT'S YOUR FATHER'S LAST DAY AT WORK, 62 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,339 BUT DON'T MENTION IT. 63 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:55,867 IN FACT, MY ADVICE TO BOTH YOU KIDS 64 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,969 IS JUST EAT AND GET OUT. 65 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,221 MRS. FORMAN, I COULD HIDE IN THE BASEMENT. 66 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,182 NO, NO, I AM NOT GONNA HAVE YOU KIDS LEAVE 67 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,683 WITHOUT YOUR BREAKFAST. 68 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,393 YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUN? A BACON SANDWICH. 69 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,146 HERE. YOU CAN EAT IT IN THE CAR. 70 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,522 MORNING. 71 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,941 OH, GREAT. 72 00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:17,196 NOW YOUR FATHER'S GOING TO SEE 3 MOUTHS HE HAS TO FEED. 73 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:18,530 OH, YOU'RE WEARING YOUR 74 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,782 UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN SWEATSHIRT. 75 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,576 YEAH, MOTHER, I WENT THERE. 76 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:26,330 NO, YOU FLUNKED OUT OF THERE. 77 00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:27,956 YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST WEAR 78 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:31,084 YOUR UNIVERSITY OF I-WASTED- MY-FATHER'S-MONEY SWEATSHIRT. 79 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:34,838 HA HA HA HA. TAKE IT OFF. 80 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:37,674 OH, COME ON! NO. 81 00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,343 LEAVE IT ON. 82 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:42,095 SHE LACKS CHARACTER, MRS. FORMAN. 83 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,806 SHUT UP! YOU ARE LUCKY TO EVEN LIVE HERE. 84 00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:46,767 YOU'RE AN ORPHAN. 85 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,977 SHE CALLED ME AN ORPHAN. 86 00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:51,230 HEY, HE'S NOT AN ORPHAN. HIS MOM JUST ABANDONED HIM. 87 00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,357 SHUT UP, FORMAN! 88 00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:54,608 OKAY, THAT'S IT. 89 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:58,278 EVERYBODY HIDE IN THE BASEMENT. GO! 90 00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:01,907 MORNING. 91 00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:11,500 AMEN. 92 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:15,337 EVERYBODY SIT AND EAT. 93 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,563 HOW ARE YOU? 94 00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:37,234 GREAT. 95 00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:44,074 SO, UM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 96 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,576 READING. 97 00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:49,705 HAVING SOME COFFEE. 98 00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:53,000 IS THE COFFEE GOOD? 99 00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:54,751 OKAY. 100 00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:59,089 EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT TODAY IS MY LAST DAY AT WORK. 101 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:02,843 LAST DAY THAT THE PLANT IS OPEN. 102 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,970 SO... 103 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,180 I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU ALL... 104 00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:10,017 THAT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE... 105 00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:12,436 GREAT. 106 00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:15,105 SO... 107 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:18,608 GREAT. 108 00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:20,986 DADDY, THAT IS SUCH GOOD NEWS. 109 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,405 CAN I HAVE $20? 110 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:26,742 YOU GET IN THE BASEMENT. 111 00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:31,997 SO... 112 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,332 JACKIE... 113 00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:36,126 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 114 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,628 OH, MICHAEL, IT'S HORRIBLE. 115 00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,547 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 116 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,466 YOU SAID IT WAS COOL ON THE PHONE, MICHAEL, 117 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,885 BUT IT'S NOT. IT'S HORRIBLE. 118 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,678 I CAN'T BE SEEN IN THIS. IT'S LIKE... 119 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:50,766 UGH! IT'S LIKE HAVING A STY. 120 00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:54,936 UH-OH, THIS VAN WILL NOT BE ROCKING. 121 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,564 OH, SURE IS SOMETHING. 122 00:05:57,732 --> 00:06:00,400 23 YEARS OF WORKING HERE, AND NOW IT'S ALL GONE. 123 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:01,985 OF COURSE YOU'RE GONNA FIND WORK. 124 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,488 YOU'RE A SUPERVISOR. 125 00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:08,533 WELL, THAT'S TRUE. EXCUSE ME. 126 00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,243 SAD AS HELL, AIN'T IT, RED? 127 00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:12,412 GEE, IT'S A REAL BAD TIME FOR ME TO BE GETTING LAID OFF. 128 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:17,167 YOU KNOW, MY HUSBAND BUCKY, HIS SKIN GRAFT DIDN'T TAKE. 129 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:21,129 YEAH, THAT'S, UH, THAT'S, UH, REAL, UH, SAD, AMY. 130 00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:22,798 HEY, RED, DALE, AMY. 131 00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:25,217 HEY, I'M STEALING OFFICE SUPPLIES. 132 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,302 RED, YOU DIDN'T WANT YOUR STAPLER, DID YA? 133 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,637 NO. 134 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,932 GOOD, 'CAUSE I ALREADY STOLE IT. HA HA HA. 135 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:33,850 HEY, RED, YOU KNOW, UH, 136 00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:35,936 WE'RE ALL GOING TO GO OVER TO CHARLIE'S FOR ONE LAST DRINK. 137 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,979 THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD POP IN FOR ONE. 138 00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,898 OH, NO, I, UH... HA HA. 139 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,525 I DON'T... POP... 140 00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:47,197 TOLD YA HE WOULDN'T COME WITH US. HE HATES US. 141 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:50,325 WELL, I... 142 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,999 HEH HEH. YEAH, BABY. 143 00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:00,043 YUP... 144 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:02,838 YOU AND ME ARE GOIN' PLACES. 145 00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:04,714 ♪ HAVIN' MY BABY ♪ 146 00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:06,550 ♪ IT'S ANOTHER WAY ♪ 147 00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:09,136 ♪ OF SAYIN' HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU ♪ 148 00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,680 ♪ HAVIN' MY BABY ♪ 149 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:14,015 [APPLAUSE] 150 00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,976 YEAH! HEH HEH. PAUL ANKA. 151 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:19,396 MAN, YOU KICK SOME SERIOUS MUSICAL ASS. 152 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,939 THANK YOU, KELSO. 153 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,524 MAN, I KNEW ONCE I GOT MY VAN, 154 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:25,068 I'D BE HAVIN' SOME BITCHIN' HOLLYWOOD PARTIES. 155 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,654 RIGHT ON, KELSO. 156 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,656 I LOVE THE VAN. 157 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:33,326 IT'S A REAL LYLE WAGGONER PLACE TO BE. 158 00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:35,620 YEAH, YEAH... WITH A RIDE LIKE THIS, 159 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:38,206 YOU MUST GET A BUTT-LOAD OF LADIES. 160 00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:42,002 ACTUALLY, PAUL, I'M JUST WITH JACKIE AT THE MOMENT. 161 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,421 JUST JACKIE? HA HA. 162 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:47,007 WHAT ARE YOU, AN IDIOT? 163 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:50,719 WELL, LYLE, PAUL... 164 00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,679 I KNOW THAT A FINE MACHINE LIKE THIS 165 00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:57,893 WOULD... WELL, SNAG ME LOTS OF PELT... 166 00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:00,562 BUT I LOVE JACKIE... 167 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:04,566 AND A REAL MAN CAN DENY HIS MAN INSTINCTS. 168 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,359 Laurie: WHO YA TALKIN' TO? 169 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,862 OHH! 170 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,614 AHH. 171 00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:11,865 OH. 172 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,575 HELLO... 173 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,285 LAURIE. 174 00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,162 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 175 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,290 I'M BORED. THERE'S NOTHING ON TV. 176 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:21,958 SO, THIS IS YOUR NEW RIDE, HUH? 177 00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:24,169 IT IS. 178 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:29,007 IT'S REALLY, UH, ROOMY. 179 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,928 LISTEN, LAURIE, UH... 180 00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:35,680 I... I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE IN HERE. 181 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:40,227 I MEAN, I KNOW WE'VE MADE OUT A COUPLE DOZEN TIMES. 182 00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:41,811 TWICE. 183 00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:43,647 OKAY, UH... 184 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:46,024 BUT THAT'S OVER. HEH HEH. 185 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:51,613 GOSH, I SURE DO FEEL CLOSE TO YOU, KELSO. 186 00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:57,035 AHH... HA HA HA. HA HA... 187 00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,703 UH, LISTEN, LAURIE, 188 00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:02,999 I... I... I, UH, I DON'T THINK MY GIRLFRIEND JACKIE 189 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:06,503 WOULD LIKE YOU SITTING ON ME. HEH HEH HEH. 190 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,880 I THINK YOU LIKE ME SITTING ON YOU. 191 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:12,551 IN FACT, I KNOW YOU DO. 192 00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:18,056 OKAY, HA HA, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. HEH HEH. 193 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:22,477 SHUT UP, KELSO. THIS IS YOUR LUCKY DAY. 194 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,731 Kelso: LAURIE, DON'T. STOP. 195 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:29,776 HEY... UH... THOSE ARE MY PANTS! 196 00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,736 NO! 197 00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:36,157 YES. 198 00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:57,721 SO, WHAT'S NEW? 199 00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:59,514 KELSO? 200 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:04,853 OH, MAN... I MEAN, NOTHING. 201 00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:11,985 SO, ERIC, ISN'T YOUR SISTER HOT? 202 00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:13,737 NO. 203 00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:15,572 IN FACT, KELSO, I THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY LOSER HERE 204 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,283 WHO THINKS SHE IS HOT. 205 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,619 NOT TRUE. 206 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:24,080 I HAVE PICTURED HER NAKED HUNDREDS OF TIMES. 207 00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:27,334 WHY, JUST THIS MORNING I WAS TAKING A SHOWER... 208 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,461 COME ON, FEZ, MAN, 209 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,922 IT IS ABSOLUTELY INAPPROPRIATE AND DISRESPECTFUL 210 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:36,259 TO TALK ABOUT HOW HOT SOMEBODY ELSE'S SISTER IS. 211 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:39,471 NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU WANT TO GIVE IT TO HER. 212 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:43,099 RIGHT, KELSO? 213 00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:44,392 OH, MAN. 214 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:47,604 OH, MAN. I... 215 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,606 WHAT IS IT, BOY? 216 00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,524 IS IT TROUBLE? 217 00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:55,278 IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL US ABOUT ERIC'S SISTER? 218 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:58,448 I TOTALLY DID IT WITH HER! 219 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,575 I'M SORRY, MAN. 220 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:04,162 WHAT?! 221 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,997 I... I MEAN, SHE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME. 222 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,917 I'M... I'M VIOLATED. 223 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:13,046 YOU IDIOT, YOUR THUMBS ARE STILL UP. 224 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,548 HEH HEH. ACTING'S HARD. 225 00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:17,425 HEY, SHUT UP, PERV. 226 00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:20,387 THAT'S MY SISTER. COME ON! 227 00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:22,514 I KNOW. 228 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:27,519 IT IS FORBIDDEN, TABOO, TITILLATING. 229 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,771 ISN'T IT IRONIC THAT TITILLATING HAS 230 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,816 THE WORD "TIT" IN IT? 231 00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:35,443 OH, MAN, THAT REMINDS ME. 232 00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:38,071 OH, SHUT UP! 233 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,322 LOOK, I SWEAR TO GOD, 234 00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,199 YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD ABOUT MY SISTER, 235 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:44,452 AND I'M GONNA TELL JACKIE. 236 00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:49,332 MAN... 237 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:53,920 I FORGOT ABOUT JACKIE. 238 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,296 RIGHT, RIGHT. 239 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,674 YOU FORGOT YOU HAVE THIS HUGE, BITCHY ANCHOR 240 00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,342 TIED AROUND YOUR NECK. 241 00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:03,054 [SCOFFS] IT COULD HAPPEN. 242 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:08,059 SO, I GUESS THE FIRST TIME IT ACTUALLY REALLY HAPPENED, 243 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:12,230 WAS WHEN I WAS HORSEBACK RIDING. 244 00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:20,739 HUH. 245 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,866 SO, YOU KNOW... 246 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:25,201 I THINK THIS VAN COULD BE PRETTY NICE. 247 00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:26,809 DO YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GLAD HE GOT IT. 248 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,330 AT LEAST IT'S A STEP TOWARDS RESPONSIBILITY. 249 00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,291 MAYBE MICHAEL'S MATURING. 250 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:34,127 YEAH, HANG ONTO THAT DREAM, JACKIE. 251 00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,045 DONNA, I'M SERIOUS. 252 00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:37,839 I THINK HE'S GROWING UP. 253 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:39,549 GOD, I'M SO PROUD OF HIM THAT, 254 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,009 IF I WEREN'T ALREADY SLEEPING WITH HIM, 255 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:44,012 I'D SLEEP WITH HIM. 256 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,305 SO... 257 00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:48,224 HAVE YOU AND ERIC DONE IT YET? 258 00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:50,727 YEAH, WE DID IT, AND I FORGOT TO MENTION IT. 259 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,979 OH. 260 00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:56,441 SO WHAT'S THE HOLDUP? 261 00:12:56,609 --> 00:13:00,028 WHATEVER. 262 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,363 IT'LL HAPPEN WHEN IT HAPPENS. 263 00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:04,449 SURE. 264 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,368 YEAH, I GUESS IF I WERE ERIC'S GIRLFRIEND, 265 00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:10,914 I WOULD NOT BE IN A HURRY TO DO IT EITHER. 266 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:16,961 ♪ I'M IN LOVE WITH A GIRL... ♪ 267 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,671 [LAUGHS] 268 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:21,090 YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE YOU SHOULD ASK KELSO 269 00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:24,385 IF YOU COULD BORROW HIS VAN SOME NIGHT. 270 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:33,895 COOL. 271 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:38,024 SO, LIKE, UH... 272 00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:40,777 WHICH NIGHT? [CLEARS THROAT] 273 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,905 I DON'T KNOW. SOME NIGHT. 274 00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:48,409 IS THAT LIKE A WEDNESDAY? 275 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:51,538 COULD BE. 276 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,792 COULD TONIGHT BE SOME NIGHT? 277 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,044 NO. 278 00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,505 WELL... 279 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,257 I DON'T KNOW. 280 00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,342 MAYBE. HA HA. 281 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,845 YOU SURE? YOU SURE? 282 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:09,722 HEY, WHERE ARE THE CUSHIONS? 283 00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:21,234 [BIG STAR SINGING I'M IN LOVE WITH A GIRL] 284 00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:30,285 LOOK AT ME. 285 00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:32,203 I'M ALMOST 50. 286 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,914 YOU'RE NOT OVER 50? 287 00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,374 AW, YOU GOT TO... 288 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:39,210 SHUT UP! SHUT UP! 289 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:40,879 I ONLY KNOW HOW TO DO ONE THING. 290 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,631 I'VE BEEN DOING IT MY WHOLE LIFE. 291 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:45,508 IT'S NOT LIKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE PLANTS 292 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,594 IS GONNA OPEN UP IN THIS CRAP HOLE. 293 00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:51,431 HOW AM I GONNA SUPPORT MY FAMILY? 294 00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:54,976 AH... TO HELL WITH IT. 295 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,687 AT LEAST I GOT YOU GUYS... 296 00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:01,983 AND I LOVE YOU GUYS. HEH HEH HEH HEH. 297 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,322 OKAY, UM, THANK YOU FOR CALLING, AMY. 298 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,115 YEAH, BYE. 299 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:12,243 ERIC, YOU HAVE TO GO PICK YOUR FATHER UP AT CHARLIE'S BAR. 300 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:15,413 AT CHARLIE'S... OH, IS HE DRUNK? 301 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:20,043 NO, HE'S NOT DRUNK. HE'S... HE'S NOT FEELING WELL. 302 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,420 RED'S DRUNK. 303 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,214 HE IS NOT. HE IS JUST... HE'S NOT FEELING WELL. 304 00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:27,717 COME ON, FEZ. MY DAD'S DRUNK. 305 00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:32,013 HE IS NOT DRUNK. HE IS NOT FEELING WELL! 306 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:34,891 MMM! 307 00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:36,267 MICHAEL, THESE CUSHIONS ARE REALLY NICE. 308 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:39,854 WHERE'D YOU GET 'EM? 309 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:43,399 UH... I FOUND 'EM. 310 00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:47,904 YOU'RE NESTING, MICHAEL. THAT IS SO MATURE. 311 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:52,492 ALL RIGHT. LISTEN, JACKIE, WE HAVE TO TALK. 312 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,244 THIS VAN IS CHANGING ME. 313 00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:57,413 I KNOW, MICHAEL, I KNOW. 314 00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:59,582 YOU DO? 315 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,126 GREAT. 'CAUSE I WANT YOU TO BE ON BOARD 316 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:06,172 WITH WHAT I'M GONNA SAY. 317 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:10,593 TRANSPORTATION IS A BIG RESPONSIBILITY. 318 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,971 THAT IS SO TRUE. 319 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,639 YEAH. 320 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:19,727 SO, I'D LIKE TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE. 321 00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:22,563 NO. 322 00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:24,524 WHAT... WHAT I MEAN TO SAY IS 323 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,651 THAT YOU AND I SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE. 324 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,612 NO. 325 00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:34,701 OKAY... WHAT IF JUST I SEE OTHER PEOPLE? 326 00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:37,286 NO. 327 00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:43,251 OKAY... OKAY. 328 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:47,296 HEY. 329 00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:50,925 HEY, HEY. THE GANG'S ALL HERE. 330 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,552 HOW YA DOIN', FEZ? 331 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:56,514 OH, MY GOD. HE KNOWS MY NAME. 332 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,142 HEY, ARE THOSE SIDEBURNS? 333 00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,477 SINCE 8th GRADE. 334 00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:03,896 HEY, BRING THESE GUYS A BEER. 335 00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:06,024 UH, NO, DAD, I'M SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOU HOME. 336 00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,817 MOM SAID SO. 337 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:12,196 NORMALLY, YOU DO WHAT YOUR MOTHER SAYS. 338 00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:14,866 SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW... 339 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:18,745 YOU'RE A DUMBASS. 340 00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:22,915 BUT MOSTLY, YOU'RE A GOOD KID. 341 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,460 THANK YOU, SIR. 342 00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:29,422 BUT THIS IS MY LAST DAY OF WORK... 343 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,632 AND I DIDN'T GET A PARTY, 344 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,635 AND I DIDN'T GET A GOLD WATCH, 345 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:38,347 AND I DIDN'T GET CRAP. 346 00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:43,561 SO... LET'S DRINK! 347 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:51,319 [RINGING] 348 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:53,571 HELLO. 349 00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:54,989 HELLO, MOTHER. 350 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:59,368 All: HELLO, MOTHER! 351 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,830 THIS IS YOUR SON, ERIC. 352 00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:06,125 I'M NOT FEELING WELL. 353 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:15,343 I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 354 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:25,144 OH, RED. 355 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:31,192 I LOVE YOU, KITTY. 356 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:34,654 UH-HUH. 357 00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,657 BARTENDER, COULD I HAVE 2 COFFEES, PLEASE? 358 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,659 AND I'LL HAVE 2 MORE BEERS. 359 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,119 RED... 360 00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:44,872 OKAY, OKAY, I'LL JUST HAVE THE ONE BEER. 361 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,041 THIS ISN'T LIKE YOU, RED. 362 00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,836 WHAT, I CAN'T HAVE A BEER? 363 00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:51,295 NO, HANGING AROUND WITH PEOPLE. 364 00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:54,966 YOU HATE PEOPLE. 365 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,094 [LAUGHING] 366 00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:01,848 YEAH, I DO. HA HA HA HA. 367 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,309 YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS. 368 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,562 YEAH, I KNOW. 369 00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:11,816 OH, HECK, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH WORSE TIMES THAN THESE. 370 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:16,445 JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT, KITTY... 371 00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:21,159 WHEN WAS THAT? 372 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:25,454 WELL, I DON'T KNOW. 373 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:27,748 ARE YOU WORRIED? 374 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:29,834 NOPE. 375 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:34,213 ARE YOU WORRIED? 376 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,924 NAH, I'M NOT WORRIED, KITTY. 377 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:44,056 I'M TOO DRUNK TO BE WORRIED. 378 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:49,187 ♪ UP AGAINST THE WALL, REDNECK MOTHER ♪ 379 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:50,938 ♪ YAHOO ♪ 380 00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:56,444 ♪ MOTHER, WHO HAS RAISED HER SON SO WELL ♪ 381 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:59,113 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S TURN THAT OFF. 382 00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:04,035 HEY, I GOT AMY'S PHONE NUMBER. 383 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,078 GOOD FOR YOU, STEVEN. 384 00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,039 WELL... 385 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:11,250 I HOPE SHE'S STILL PRETTY TOMORROW. 386 00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:13,044 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S JUST TURN THAT 387 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:17,298 REDNECK MOTHER SONG BACK ON. 388 00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:23,471 ♪ HE'S 34 AND DRINKIN' IN A HONKY-TONK ♪ 389 00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,598 ♪ OH, PLAY IT FOR MAMA ♪ 390 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:31,103 ♪ KICKIN' HIPPIES' ASSES AND RAISIN' HELL ♪ 391 00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:34,357 HEY. 392 00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:37,818 GOD, WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT? 393 00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:41,572 I WENT AND HAD A FEW BEERS WITH THE OLD MAN. 394 00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:47,578 IT WAS PRETTY SPECIAL. 395 00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,122 OH, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, I... 396 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:54,377 I CAME BY. 397 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:59,840 YOU CAME BY? 398 00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:01,550 YEAH. 399 00:21:01,718 --> 00:21:04,262 I CAME BY 'CAUSE I WAS THINKIN'... 400 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:07,723 LAST NIGHT WAS THE NIGHT. 401 00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:17,858 LAST NIGHT? 402 00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:19,735 MMM. 403 00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:23,072 I WILL DEFINITELY BE HERE TONIGHT. 404 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,366 NAH, TONIGHT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT. 405 00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:26,867 RIGHT. 406 00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:28,494 NOT THE WAY LAST NIGHT FELT. 407 00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:32,039 OH, RIGHT. 408 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:34,917 OH, MY GOD. 409 00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:38,421 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER AND FOX BROADCASTING 410 00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:40,548 I REALLY DO LOVE JACKIE, 411 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,883 AND SHE SAYS THAT WE CAN'T SEE OTHER PEOPLE. 412 00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:45,011 SO... 413 00:21:45,178 --> 00:21:47,305 OH, SWEET KELSO. 414 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:51,934 YOU'RE A TOOL, AND I WILL USE YOU WHEN I PLEASE. 415 00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:54,061 OKAY, BABY? 416 00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:56,480 OKAY. 417 00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:57,940 HI, DADDY. 418 00:21:58,108 --> 00:22:00,276 HI, SWEETIE. 419 00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:03,904 OH, KELSO. 420 00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:07,158 YOU WATCH YOUR ASS.