1 00:00:01,751 --> 00:00:05,379 [MUSIC] 2 00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:07,589 HEY, LOOK AT THIS. 3 00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:09,091 IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF DEER SEASON. 4 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:14,388 RABBIT SEASON. DUCK SEASON. 5 00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:20,644 WELL, RED, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HUNTING IN AGES. 6 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:26,191 NOT SINCE THE ACCIDENT. 7 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,027 WHAT ACCIDENT? 8 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,570 THE REALLY TERRIBLE ACCIDENT 9 00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:32,406 THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 10 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,867 OH, YEAH. THAT ONE. 11 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,243 YOU KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU GO? 12 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,996 IT MIGHT BE FUN. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, GET SOME FRESH AIR, 13 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:42,166 MAYBE GET OUT OF YOUR LOUSY DAMN MOOD. 14 00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:45,169 SORRY. 15 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,296 I'D LOVE TO GO, KITTY, 16 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,381 BUT WE JUST CAN'T AFFORD IT. 17 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,633 OH, YES WE CAN. I WILL PACK YOU SOME FOOD, 18 00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:55,721 AND A NICE BOX OF BULLETS, AND YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY. 19 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,517 DAD, YOU COULD USE THE PINCIOTTIS' CABIN. 20 00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:02,394 BOB HAS A CABIN? 21 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:05,522 WELL, ISN'T THAT JUST THE CAT'S ASS. 22 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,818 OH, BOO-HOO, THE WORLD'S UNFAIR. 23 00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:12,821 NOW JUST ASK BOB IF YOU CAN BORROW HIS CABIN. 24 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:16,158 OKAY, WE'LL GO. JUST US GUYS. 25 00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:21,163 UH, MOM? 26 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:22,731 WELL, YOU SHOULD GO. YOU DON'T SPEND 27 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,500 NEARLY ENOUGH TIME WITH YOUR FATHER. 28 00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:27,086 THAT'S BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LIKE ME. 29 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:32,758 YES, HE DOES LIKE YOU. AND THAT'S NO EXCUSE. 30 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:35,761 WELL, I DON'T HAVE A GUN. 31 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:39,139 MY MOM TOOK IT WHEN SHE LEFT. 32 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,518 WELL, YOU CAN SHARE. YOU KNOW, 33 00:01:42,685 --> 00:01:44,228 THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT A GUN 34 00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:46,605 THAT JUST MAKES YOU WANT TO SHARE. 35 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,233 OKAY, FINE, MOM. I'LL GO WITH DAD, 36 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,151 BUT IF I DON'T COME BACK, 37 00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:53,862 YOU'LL KNOW WHO DID IT. 38 00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:59,243 YOU KNOW, HE'S NEVER REALLY WARMED UP TO YOU. 39 00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:02,371 GOING ON 17 YEARS NOW. 40 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,081 OH. 41 00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:05,415 OKAY, WE'RE GOING HUNTING. 42 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,918 WELL, YAAY! 43 00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:11,380 WITH BOB. 44 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:13,340 OH. 45 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:14,716 WELL, YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU'LL CHEER UP 46 00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:17,261 AFTER YOU SHOOT SOMETHING. 47 00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:19,471 I ALWAYS DO. 48 00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:25,144 ♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪ 49 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:28,939 ♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪ 50 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:32,526 ♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪ 51 00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:36,029 ♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪ 52 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:39,992 ♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪ 53 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,328 ♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪ 54 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:48,000 ♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪ ♪ WE'RE ALL ALL RIGHT ♪ 55 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,752 HELLO, WISCONSIN! 56 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:58,385 HEY, RED, DON'T FREAK OUT, 57 00:02:58,553 --> 00:02:59,761 BUT IF I SEE A DEER 58 00:02:59,929 --> 00:03:01,054 ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, 59 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,223 I'M GONNA SHOOT HIM. 60 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:05,809 KELSO, YOU FIRE THAT GUN IN THIS CAR 61 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,144 AND I WILL PULL OVER 62 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:11,106 AND KICK YOUR ASS FOR AN HOUR. 63 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:14,484 DO IT, RED, DO IT! 64 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,071 COME ON, FORMAN, 65 00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:19,364 WOULD YOU GET THAT GUN AWAY FROM HIM? 66 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:20,574 NO, I WANT TO HOLD IT. 67 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:21,992 GIVE IT UP, KELSO. 68 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,327 I HAVE A RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS, ALL RIGHT? 69 00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:25,579 THAT'S IN THE CONSTITUTION. 70 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:28,498 KELSO, NOT EVERYTHING IN THE CONSTITUTION MAKES SENSE. 71 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:29,875 WHOA, FEZ. SHUT UP. 72 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,460 WHAT DID YOU SAY? 73 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,087 UH, NOTHING. 74 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:35,839 FOREIGNERS. 75 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,300 I HEAR YOU. 76 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,178 SO, SO, SO. [LAUGHS] 77 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:44,056 WHAT TO DO? 78 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,520 I SHOULD HAVE GONE HUNTING. 79 00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:52,689 NO, NO, NO. WE CAN HAVE FUN. 80 00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:55,984 WE CAN HAVE OUR VERY OWN FUN. WE COULD... 81 00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:57,361 I'M NOT BAKING ANYTHING. 82 00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:59,821 OH. 83 00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:05,118 OKAY, WHO WANTS JELL-O? 84 00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:06,495 JELL-O'S BAKING. 85 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:10,165 NO, NO, NO. JELL-O'S BOILING. 86 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,502 GOTCHA. [LAUGHS] 87 00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,382 HEY, RED. SO TELL ME 88 00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:20,217 ABOUT THAT HUNTING ACCIDENT. 89 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:23,470 IT SOUNDS LIKE A FUNNY STORY. 90 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:25,889 [CLEARS THROAT] 91 00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,266 THINK WE'LL SEE ANY BEARS? 92 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:28,934 I'D LOVE TO KILL A BEAR. 93 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,102 YOU CAN'T SHOOT A BEAR, 94 00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:31,186 IT'S DEER SEASON. 95 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,354 YOU SHOOT A BEAR, 96 00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:33,939 YOU GET FINED, YOU GO TO JAIL. 97 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,233 NO, I'LL JUST SAY IT WAS SELF-DEFENSE. 98 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,601 WHO IS THE JURY GONNA BELIEVE, 99 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,070 ME OR A DEAD BEAR? 100 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:44,074 A DEAD BEAR. A DEAD BEAR. DEFINITELY. 101 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,492 I KILLED A BEAR ONCE. 102 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,327 YOUR ASS. 103 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,246 I DID. I DID. 104 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,707 I WAS GETTING A DRINK FROM A STREAM, SEE, 105 00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:53,709 WHEN SUDDENLY I HEARD SOMETHING. 106 00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:58,964 GRABBED MY SHOTGUN, BOOM. RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES. 107 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,092 SURVIVAL. 108 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,844 SO WHAT DID YOU DO THEN? 109 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,263 YOU, UH, BRING IT HOME? GET IT STUFFED? 110 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:09,766 NOPE. LEFT IT THERE. WENT HOME. 111 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:11,018 HOW COME YOU DIDN'T BRING IT HOME? 112 00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:13,437 GET IT STUFFED? 113 00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:18,108 ON ACCOUNT IT WAS SO HUGE. 114 00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:20,610 SO IT'S A STAND-OFF. 115 00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:23,780 I WON'T SHAVE MY LEGS, BOB WON'T SHAVE HIS BACK. 116 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:32,122 OKAY, EW. 117 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,434 YOU KNOW, RED DOESN'T HAVE A HAIRY BACK, 118 00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:37,461 AND THANK GOD FOR THAT. NO OFFENSE. 119 00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:38,837 GOOD NEWS FOR YOU, DONNA. 120 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,631 THAT MEANS ERIC PROBABLY WON'T HAVE ONE EITHER. 121 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,302 HE CAN'T EVEN GROW A MUSTACHE. 122 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,429 OH, PLEASE. ERIC'S BODY 123 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,931 IS BALD AS CAN BE. 124 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:52,476 YOU KNOW, I DON'T EVEN THINK 125 00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:55,062 HE HIT PUBERTY UNTIL ABOUT 15. 126 00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,066 REALLY? 127 00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:02,319 OH, HE PROBABLY WON'T LIKE THAT I SAID THAT. 128 00:06:05,656 --> 00:06:08,658 I THINK ERIC'S THE SWEETEST KID. 129 00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:10,702 SO DONNA, HAVE YOU AND ERIC... 130 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:13,163 MOTHER, PLEASE! 131 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,581 THE ANSWER'S NO. 132 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:15,957 HEY, HEY. 133 00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:17,751 EVERYBODY JUST SHUT UP. 134 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,628 WELL, I FOR ONE AM NOT SO NAIVE 135 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,171 AS TO THINK THAT YOU AND ERIC... 136 00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,340 AAH! 137 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,301 OKAY, WELL, I GUESS WE'RE UPSETTING HER, 138 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:29,221 SO WHAT SHOULD WE DO NOW? 139 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,850 WELL, IF DONNA WASN'T SO UPTIGHT, WE COULD TALK ABOUT... 140 00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:35,185 I WANT TO GO HOME. 141 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,953 DO YOU WANT ME TO GO HOME, 'CAUSE I WILL. 142 00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:38,355 DONNA, PLEASE DON'T GO HOME. 143 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:39,606 I THINK IT'S VERY NICE 144 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,454 THAT YOU'RE SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR MOTHER. 145 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:43,652 GOD KNOWS, LAURIE WON'T. 146 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,445 YOU GUYS, LET'S PLAY POKER. 147 00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:48,990 I BET I'M GOOD AT IT. 148 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,284 YOU NEVER PLAYED POKER BEFORE? 149 00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:53,620 UH-UH, BUT I HAVE LOTS OF MONEY. 150 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,288 OH, WELL, HONEY. HAVE A SEAT. 151 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,916 I'LL GET THE CARDS. 152 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,813 [GRUNTS] [GUN FIRES] 153 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,648 DAMN! 154 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,608 DAMN. DAMN IT ALL! DAMN! 155 00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,610 KELSO, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? 156 00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,070 WELL, I WOULD BE PROUDLY STANDING 157 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:28,238 OVER MY KILL RIGHT NOW 158 00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:29,806 IF SOMEONE HADN'T TAKEN MY GUN AWAY. 159 00:07:29,907 --> 00:07:31,783 KELSO, YOU CAN'T FIRE THE GUN IN THE CAMP. 160 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:34,744 THE DEER WALKED RIGHT THROUGH HERE. 161 00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:36,830 HE WAS MINE. I WAS GONNA HUNT HIM. 162 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:40,500 YOU KNOW, KELSO, NOT EVERY HUNTING ACCIDENT 163 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,669 IS AN ACCIDENT. 164 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,338 I THINK YOU'D BETTER SIT THIS ONE OUT, PAL. 165 00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,382 FINE. 166 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:52,053 YOU KNOW, I SAW A DEER BLIND ON THE WAY IN. 167 00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:53,722 ANYBODY WANT TO GO CHECK IT OUT? 168 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,348 I'LL GO. 169 00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:56,850 NO, NOT ME. 170 00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,602 I JUST CAME TO HANG OUT. 171 00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:02,105 WHEN I CRAVE MEAT, I BUY BOLOGNA. 172 00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:03,315 SO, WHERE'S FEZ? 173 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,442 KELSO PROBABLY SHOT HIM. 174 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:06,651 NO, NO, NO. I SAW HIM 175 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:07,819 WALKING INTO THE WOODS 176 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:08,904 RIGHT AFTER WE GOT HERE. 177 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,197 SAID HE WAS GOING HUNTING. 178 00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:12,282 HE HAD A WHISTLE AND A STICK. 179 00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,242 [ALL LAUGH] 180 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,703 OH, THAT CRAZY FOREIGN BASTARD. 181 00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:20,665 LET'S EAT. 182 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:28,089 WOW, THOSE WERE SOME DELICIOUS BIRDS. 183 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,425 KEY CHAIN? 184 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,636 NO, I'M GOOD. 185 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,262 SO YOU CAUGHT THOSE BIRDS 186 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:37,140 WITH JUST A WHISTLE AND A STICK? 187 00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,684 VERY IMPRESSIVE, FEZ. 188 00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,520 YEAH, YOU KNOW, THAT'S A GOOD WAY TO HUNT, 189 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:42,896 'CAUSE EVEN IF YOU DON'T GET ANYTHING, 190 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,147 YOU STILL HAVE ALL THE FUN 191 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,775 OF A WHISTLE AND A STICK. 192 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:50,987 I'LL TAKE THE KEY CHAIN. GIVE IT TO MIDGE. LITTLE MEMENTO. 193 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:56,117 I FEEL GOOD ABOUT THAT, BOB. 194 00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:59,037 MIDGE IS NICE. 195 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:02,832 YEP, WE ALL LIKE MIDGE. 196 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:07,003 YEAH, MIDGE HAS NICE JUGS. 197 00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:11,508 WHAT? 198 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,135 NO, YOU SAID SOMETHING. 199 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:17,639 NO, I DIDN'T. [LAUGHS] 200 00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:22,602 SO, WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR HAIR, HUH? 201 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:26,648 MAN, I AM AT ONE WITH NATURE RIGHT NOW. 202 00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,984 THANKS FOR THE PHEASANT, FEZ. 203 00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:31,361 PHEASANT, FEZ. PHEASANT, FEZ. 204 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:34,990 YES, BEAUTIFUL BLACK PHEASANTS. 205 00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:40,829 BLACK PHEASANTS. WAIT, PHEASANTS AREN'T BLACK. 206 00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:46,209 YEAH, BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL. I WISH JACKIE WAS BLACK. 207 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:50,547 WHAT DID YOU FEED US, FEZ? 208 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:55,594 THEY WERE PHEASANTS. THEY WENT "COO-CAW." "COO-CAW." 209 00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,349 YOU FED US A CROW? 210 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:04,603 YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT A CROW, MAN. 211 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:08,773 YOU JUST BROUGHT SOME BAD JU-JU ON US ALL. 212 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:12,986 WE ATE SOMEBODY'S SOUL, MAN. 213 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:18,575 I KNOW. I HAVE EATEN SOMEONE'S DELICIOUS SOUL. 214 00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:27,000 HEY, GOOD NEWS, GUYS. I FOUND MY GUN. [LAUGHS] 215 00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:34,507 WHAT? IT'S PROBABLY NOT LOADED. 216 00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:45,518 OH, WOW, MOM. YOU'RE NOT GOOD. 217 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:46,978 WELL, YOU'RE NOT EVEN PLAYING 218 00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,772 SO KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, MISS SMARTY. 219 00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,565 OKAY, I'LL PLAY. 220 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,317 YOU WANT TO PLAY CARDS WITH YOUR MOTHER? 221 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,693 SURE. 222 00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:57,072 WELL, I AM GONNA CALL THE MILWAUKEE JOURNAL. 223 00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:01,660 KITTY? HOW MANY KINGS ARE IN A PACK? 224 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,164 4. 225 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,791 I BET $1.00. 226 00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:12,379 WELL, UM, I SEE THAT THERE ARE 227 00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:15,256 4 QUEENS IN A DECK, TOO. 228 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:21,846 OH, MOM. THAT IS SO PATHETIC. 229 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:23,807 FINE, I FOLD. 230 00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:25,517 I'M IN. 231 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,394 OKAY, UH, DO YOU WANT ANY CARDS? 232 00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:30,480 YEAH, CAN I HAVE TWO 5's, PLEASE? 233 00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:36,820 AND I'LL HAVE ONE CARD. 234 00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:42,909 OH, IT'S A 5. JACKIE, DID YOU WANT THIS? 235 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,038 YOU GAVE HER A 5? 236 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,833 I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS. 237 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,042 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 238 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,450 EVERYBODY JUST SHOW YOUR CARDS. 239 00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:53,586 OKAY, DID I WIN? 240 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,004 DID I WIN? DID I WIN? 241 00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:56,423 NOT EVEN CLOSE. 242 00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:57,841 OH. WELL, I DON'T CARE. 243 00:11:58,008 --> 00:11:59,426 I DON'T WORK, SO MONEY DOESN'T 244 00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:01,886 REALLY MEAN ANYTHING TO ME. 245 00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:04,681 OH, HOW NICE FOR YOU. HA HA. 246 00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:11,146 [MUSIC] 247 00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:15,442 HEY, DAD. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, 248 00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:19,195 BUT I'M KIND OF FROZEN TO THE BLIND. 249 00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,740 RIGHT IN THE PANTS AREA. 250 00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:25,452 SHH. JEEZ, YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT COMPLAIN 251 00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:28,496 SINCE WE GOT HERE. 252 00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:30,290 YOU KNOW, I WAS HOPING THAT THIS TRIP 253 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,292 WOULD BE BETTER THAN THE LAST, 254 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:35,378 WHERE YOU CRIED ABOUT EVERY STUPID THING. 255 00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:40,633 I WAS 6. 256 00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:45,263 AND YOU MADE ME TOUCH A DEAD RABBIT. 257 00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:49,455 I JUST THOUGHT THAT IF YOU TOUCHED IT, 258 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,479 YOU MIGHT NOT BE AFRAID OF IT. 259 00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:56,107 WELL, THANK YOU, DR. SPOCK. 260 00:12:56,817 --> 00:13:00,779 MAKING NOISE IS NOT THE WAY TO BAG A DEER. 261 00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:06,284 I HAD NIGHTMARES FOR A MONTH. 262 00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:10,872 BIG, DEAD, RABBIT NIGHTMARES. 263 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:15,877 OH, MAN. WE GOT ONE. HE IS HUGE. 264 00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:18,922 WHERE? I DON'T SEE IT. 265 00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:20,423 IT'S ABOUT A QUARTER CLICK 266 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:21,591 SOUTH OF THE CLEARING. 267 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,885 WHAT IS A CLICK? 268 00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,428 AND WHICH WAY IS SOUTH? 269 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:26,805 OH NO, WAIT, OKAY, I SEE HIM. 270 00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,432 YEAH. OH, YOU'RE RIGHT, DAD. HE IS HUGE. 271 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:33,895 YOU'RE NOT KIDDING. I'D SAY HE'S A 10-POINTER. 272 00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,942 WHAT? 273 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,904 I WAS JUST THINKING. YOU TAKE THE SHOT. 274 00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,406 NO WAY. YOU ALWAYS TALK ABOUT 275 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:46,908 GETTING A BUCK. YOU DO IT. 276 00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,243 NO, DAMN IT. NOW DON'T ARGUE WITH ME. 277 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:50,453 NOW TAKE THE SHOT. 278 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:54,374 COME ON. HURRY UP. 279 00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:58,753 OH, AND DON'T SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE. 280 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,178 [GUN FIRES] 281 00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:14,936 HOLY COW, LOOK AT HIM GO. 282 00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:21,734 MAN, YOU REALLY STINK. 283 00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,153 I TOLD YOU TO TAKE THE SHOT. 284 00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:25,405 WELL, I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE 285 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,031 FOR YOU TO GET A DEER. I MEAN, 286 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:28,825 GOD KNOWS, I'D LOVE TO GET ONE. 287 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:31,286 THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THE SHOT. 288 00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:33,319 WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? 289 00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,415 WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO DAMN NERVOUS? 290 00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:36,749 OH, HMM, I DON'T KNOW. 291 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,117 MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN 292 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:40,086 YELLING AT ME FOR 17 YEARS? 293 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,590 OH, I HAVE NOT. OH, GOD, HE WAS RIGHT THERE. 294 00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:48,428 I COULD HAVE HIT HIM WITH A ROCK. 295 00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,180 YEP, THAT'S A DAMN SHAME. 296 00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,933 SO ARE YOU READY TO HEAD BACK? 297 00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,227 NO, I SURE AS HELL AM NOT READY TO HEAD BACK. 298 00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:58,479 YOU WANT TO GO BACK? YOU GO BACK. 299 00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:05,111 SO. [CLEARS THROAT] 300 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,864 HEY, DAD. HOW ABOUT A WAR STORY? 301 00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:13,745 YEAH, OKAY. DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME 302 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:17,790 I DIDN'T MISS THAT NORTH KOREAN? 303 00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:27,467 FULL HOUSE. JACKS OVER 10s. 304 00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,219 MOM WINS AGAIN. 305 00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:31,638 [LAUGHS] 306 00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:34,515 WELL THIS IS FUN, ISN'T THIS FUN? 307 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,936 IT WAS FUN TILL LAURIE STARTED DEALING. 308 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:39,938 HEY, WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 309 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,273 OH, MY GOSH. I THINK MRS. PINCIOTTI IS SAYING 310 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:43,566 THAT LAURIE'S CHEATING. 311 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:44,859 NO, SHE'S NOT. 312 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:47,028 WAIT. YES I AM. 313 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,739 MY DAUGHTER DOES NOT CHEAT. 314 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,908 COME ON, DONNA. WE'RE STORMING OUT OF HERE. 315 00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:53,785 OKAY, SEE YA. 316 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,328 HOLD ON. I'LL STORM WITH YOU. 317 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:57,789 THANK YOU FOR A LOVELY AFTERNOON, MRS. FORMAN. 318 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,297 LAURIE, WERE YOU CHEATING? 319 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,383 YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING. 320 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:10,677 OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE. 321 00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:12,220 OKAY, WELL, IF YOU WEREN'T 322 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:13,554 SUCH A CRAPPY CARD PLAYER, 323 00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,640 THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO CHEAT. 324 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,488 AND YOU WERE GONNA LOSE ALL YOUR MAD MONEY, 325 00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:19,811 AND MIDGE BUGS ME. 326 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,398 YOU WERE CHEATING SO I WOULD WIN. 327 00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:26,234 DUH. I WANTED YOU TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN. 328 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:30,822 WELL GOSH, THAT'S SWEET. 329 00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:36,285 YEAH. 330 00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:38,913 I LOVE YOU, MOMMY. 331 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,505 I JUST KNOW I WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED HIM. 332 00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:52,135 NOT WHEN HE WAS THAT CLOSE. NO WAY. 333 00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:56,973 HERE. 334 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,058 DAD, YOU SEE THE CAN BY THAT CLEARING? 335 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:01,310 YEAH. 336 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,314 I DON'T BELIEVE IT. HOW'D YOU DO THAT? 337 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,735 DAD, I KNOW HOW TO SHOOT. 338 00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:11,571 DON'T YOU REMEMBER MY TAXI DRIVER PHASE? 339 00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:17,368 LOOK, I DIDN'T WANT TO KILL HIM. 340 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,871 I MISSED ON PURPOSE. 341 00:17:20,497 --> 00:17:22,081 WELL, I CAN RESPECT THAT MORE 342 00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:24,167 THAN YOU BEING A CRAPPY SHOT. 343 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,127 WHAT? 344 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,545 WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO? 345 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,547 WHY DO YOU THINK? 346 00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,717 YOU REALLY THINK I'VE BEEN YELLING AT YOU FOR 17 YEARS? 347 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,720 NO. 348 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,608 YOU WERE PROBABLY OKAY WITH ME AS AN INFANT. 349 00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:40,558 I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER. 350 00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:43,186 BOY, IT WAS RIGHT AROUND 13 351 00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:48,399 WHEN YOU STARTED GETTING A LITTLE LIPPY. AND TWITCHY. 352 00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,264 WELL, YOU KNOW, LIPPY AND TWITCHY 353 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,278 TEND TO WALK HAND-IN-HAND, SO. 354 00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:54,614 SEE? NOW THAT'S LIPPY. 355 00:17:56,950 --> 00:18:00,078 YOU GOT SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO ME, YOU JUST SAY IT. 356 00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,166 DAD... 357 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,375 NO, I'M SERIOUS HERE. 358 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:09,003 JUST FOR A SECOND, PRETEND THAT I'M NOT YOUR DAD. 359 00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,881 I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT YOU REALLY THINK OF ME. 360 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,555 HOW ABOUT LET'S DO THIS 361 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:22,266 WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A GUN? 362 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:26,479 HOW ABOUT YOU DO WHAT THE GUY WITH THE GUN TELLS YOU TO DO? 363 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,317 OKAY. 364 00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,528 I THINK YOU'RE ANGRY 365 00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:34,445 BECAUSE LIFE DIDN'T TURN OUT 366 00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:36,280 EXACTLY THE WAY YOU WANTED IT TO, 367 00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:39,367 AND UH, MAYBE YOU THINK IF YOU YELL AT ME, 368 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,744 I WON'T LET LIFE PUSH ME AROUND, TOO. 369 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,750 YOU CAME UP WITH THAT ANSWER AWFUL FAST. 370 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:55,508 WELL. [LAUGHS] 371 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:59,011 HELL, ERIC. MAYBE YOU'LL BE OKAY. 372 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:05,184 OH, MY GOD. DAD, HE'S BACK. 373 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,648 OH, LOOK AT HIM. HE'S MAGNIFICENT. 374 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:15,653 HE'S THE KING OF THE FOREST. 375 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,781 JUST LIKE BAMBI'S DAD. 376 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,206 HE'S BEAUTIFUL. [GUN FIRES] 377 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:31,252 YEAH, I BET HE TASTES BEAUTIFUL, TOO. 378 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:37,216 OH, UH, JUST FOR THE RECORD, ERIC. 379 00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:40,428 I'M THE KING OF THE FOREST. 380 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:54,650 WAY TO GO, DAD. YOU FINALLY GOT YOUR BUCK. 381 00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:56,694 I WISH IT WAS MINE, 382 00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,196 BUT SOMEBODY TOOK MY GUN 383 00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,990 'CAUSE HE SENSED WHAT A GREAT HUNTER I AM. 384 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,227 KELSO, IF WE LET YOU KEEP YOUR GUN, 385 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:06,204 FEZ WOULD BE THE ONE STRAPPED ON THAT HOOD RIGHT NOW. 386 00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:16,255 HEY, RED. SO, UH, ABOUT THAT ACCIDENT, HUH? 387 00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,884 AH, YEAH. WELL, IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. 388 00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:22,053 I WAS OUT, UH, HUNTING WITH FRANK. 389 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,430 HE WAS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE, A GOOD GUY. 390 00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:27,767 KIND OF A DUMB-ASS LIKE KELSO HERE. 391 00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:32,104 SO ANYWAY, FRANK HAD SHOT THIS DEER, 392 00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:33,648 AND HE WAS REAL HAPPY, 393 00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:35,066 AND HE'D HAD A FEW BEERS 394 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,610 SO HE WAS DANCING AROUND, 395 00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:39,320 AND IT WAS ALL REAL FUN, 396 00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:42,782 AND THEN HE LEANS OVER TO KISS THE DEER, 397 00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:44,450 ONLY THE DEER'S NOT DEAD YET, 398 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:47,245 AND IT KICKS HIM RIGHT IN THE NECK. 399 00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:49,956 AND IT KILLED HIM. 400 00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:58,839 THE DEER IS STARING AT MY SOUL. 401 00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:01,592 PUT SOME SUNGLASSES ON IT. 402 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,388 WELL, THIS IS JUST DELICIOUS. 403 00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:08,349 [SPITS] 404 00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:10,101 SORRY ABOUT THE BUCK SHOT. 405 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,560 OH, I DON'T MIND. I MEAN, 406 00:21:11,728 --> 00:21:12,937 THERE'S USUALLY SOME MYSTERY GRISTLE IN MEAT. 407 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,023 AT LEAST WE KNOW WHAT IT IS. 408 00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:19,443 I LIKE IT BETTER WHEN YOU FISH, DADDY. 409 00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:21,612 IT WAS JERKING AROUND, SO, UH, ERIC SHOT IT 410 00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:23,698 WITH THE SHOTGUN. 411 00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:27,785 WELL, I HAD TO. IT WAS SCREAMING. 412 00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:40,047 I KILLED A RACCOON ONCE. 413 00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:43,551 HIT HIM WITH MY UNCLE'S CAR. 414 00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:46,762 SO BAD. [CRYING] 415 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:50,516 ALL RIGHT, SETTLE DOWN, KILLER. 416 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:52,852 YEAH, SOUNDS LIKE WE'RE ALL 417 00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:55,438 A BUNCH OF REAL KILLERS. 418 00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:03,112 OH, GOOD GOD, CRACK A WINDOW. 419 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,656 THAT IS UNPLEASANT. 420 00:22:05,824 --> 00:22:07,825 SON OF A BITCH.