1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:04,880 Hey, Red, I've got a question for you. 2 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,760 My wife says she doesn't want anything for Valentine's day. 3 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:09,040 So I'm off the hook, right? 4 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,240 Let me tell you a little story. 5 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,600 There was a woman, a newly-wed. 6 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,760 And she told her husband, 7 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,200 rather then waste money on gifts, 8 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:23,920 save for retirement. 9 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,000 And so he never bought her a gift. 10 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,720 Not for Christmas, birthdays... never. 11 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:30,880 And 50 years later, 12 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:32,560 she thanked him. 13 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:35,080 And you know who that woman was? 14 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:36,360 No. 15 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:37,560 That woman ... 16 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:41,840 was the invisible dancing fairy of dumb-ass land! 17 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,880 All women want gifts. 18 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:49,480 Well ... 19 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:51,880 what do you get a stripper anyway? 20 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,320 Oh, how about a robe and a father who gave a damn? 21 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,200 Mrs. Forman, life's a trade off. 22 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,680 If her father gave a damn, I wouldn't have this smile on my face. 23 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:06,200 Well Steven, 24 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,280 it is important to keep romance alive once you're married. 25 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,800 That's why I bought a present for Red and I'm sure he has one for me. 26 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:15,760 Because he loves me and he knows what I'm capable of. 27 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,360 That's right honey! Wait till you see what I got you! 28 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,560 You romantic little devil you! 29 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:28,760 Not hardly. 30 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,120 Follow me rookie. 31 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,960 Ever since I forgot Kitty's birthday that one year, 32 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,320 I keep a stash of gifts down here. 33 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,760 That way, even if I forget, I remember. 34 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,080 Go ahead, I'll spot you one. 35 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:48,640 Oh hey, 36 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,400 these woolen mittens'd be perfect for Sam. 37 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:52,960 If only they were black, 38 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:55,320 leather and a bra. 39 00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:58,800 So what are you giving Kitty? 40 00:01:58,880 --> 00:01:59,960 Ahh this needlepoint. 41 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,800 She'll like it because it's fun 42 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:06,840 and I'll like it because it'll keep her occupied for gigantic chunks of time. 43 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:12,840 Jackie dear, uhh, 44 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:17,040 thank you for booking that lovely couple on our Fools For Love piece. 45 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:19,720 That guy was so cute. 46 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:24,200 You know he said no matter where he went. He always heard his wife's voice saying "I love you". 47 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:29,760 Well apparently another voice in his head told him to push her off a Ferris wheel. 48 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,240 Oh my God! 49 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,240 Oh no no no no no, that's horrible! 50 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,680 It's a tragedy! 51 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,080 We don't have a couple for today's show. 52 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,920 You've got three hours to find another one or you're fired. 53 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,920 Oh I'm just kidding ... 54 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:49,960 No I'm not. 55 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,960 Seriously Jackie, just kidding about firing you. 56 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,000 Christine St. George's office. 57 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:04,640 I wasn't kidding. 58 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,880 Psssst Jackie! Come here! 59 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,240 Ohhhh. What do you want? 60 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,240 I wanted to say: don't worry. 61 00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:16,760 It'll all work out between you and Christine. 62 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,280 Well thanks. 63 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,200 Christine St. George's office. 64 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,697 You're gonna get fired! You're gonna get fired! 65 00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:12,700 Hey, Record Guy... 66 00:04:14,180 --> 00:04:15,380 Mr. Record... 67 00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:18,220 Mr. Record Breaker... 68 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,660 Captain Record of the U.S.S. Phonograph. 69 00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:26,140 Donna, Hyde's already given me a nickname. 70 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,820 It's Mrs. Lady-Lovely-Locks. 71 00:04:31,580 --> 00:04:32,340 Okay. 72 00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:34,700 Mrs. Locks. Uhm... 73 00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:37,500 I was wondering if maybe you'd like to... 74 00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:38,620 I don't know, like ... 75 00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:41,580 do something with me tonight for good old VD? 76 00:04:42,180 --> 00:04:43,180 Valentine's Day! 77 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:48,700 Not VD! 78 00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:51,540 I am clean as a whistle! 79 00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:54,660 Man it's uh, 80 00:04:55,340 --> 00:04:56,540 it's really nice of you to ask but 81 00:04:56,540 --> 00:04:58,020 I've already got plans with someone else. 82 00:04:58,060 --> 00:04:59,060 Maybe a rain check. 83 00:04:59,580 --> 00:05:01,300 Sure. I love rain checks. 84 00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:04,140 In fact, I love checking for rain. 85 00:05:05,540 --> 00:05:06,820 I'm gonna go check for rain right now. 86 00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:12,100 That's the office, here's no rain in there. 87 00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:16,940 Clear out here too! 88 00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:24,260 Oh. Fez! 89 00:05:24,340 --> 00:05:27,260 I have to find a happy couple for Christine to interview today or I'm fired. 90 00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:28,780 What about Red and Ms. Kitty? 91 00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:34,500 Ugggg, I might as well book that painting of the old lady and the geezer with the pitchfork. 92 00:05:35,380 --> 00:05:38,540 Ah I see where you're going with this Jackie, and don't worry, 93 00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:41,420 if it will save your job, I will pretend to be your boyfriend. 94 00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:43,980 We should probably practice. 95 00:05:44,180 --> 00:05:45,900 Oh! Get off me! 96 00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:46,860 I was trying to help! 97 00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:48,300 You were trying to cop a feel! 98 00:05:48,340 --> 00:05:49,660 You didn't let me finish. 99 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:53,300 I was trying to help ... myself to a handful of your boob. 100 00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:57,740 But I would like to help. 101 00:05:58,260 --> 00:06:01,140 No, Fez. If Christine finds out we're faking it, I'm fired. 102 00:06:01,460 --> 00:06:02,580 I can see all that, baby. 103 00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:03,780 Besides, 104 00:06:04,540 --> 00:06:06,140 interracial couples are sexy. 105 00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,060 Because it's illegal. 106 00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:15,140 Fez, it's not illegal for people of two different races to date. 107 00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:16,060 It's not? 108 00:06:18,940 --> 00:06:19,900 Freaking Hyde! 109 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:23,700 Hey. 110 00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:24,140 Hey. 111 00:06:26,940 --> 00:06:30,300 Look, I just wanna make sure you didn't get the wrong idea when I asked you out, 112 00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:33,180 because I was asking you out as like... as friends. 113 00:06:33,580 --> 00:06:35,300 Well, I'm glad you consider me a friend, 114 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:37,820 cause when I said I had plans earlier, actually I have a date. 115 00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:41,660 And I was thinking maybe you could help me out and give me some advice. 116 00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,220 You know, from the female perspective. 117 00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:46,540 I'd ask my cousin but she's kinda into me, it's weird. 118 00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:49,820 Sure, yeah. I mean what do you have planned? 119 00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:54,460 I was thinking ... we start sweet, with... strawberry wine. 120 00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:59,100 Then, we get a tad naughty with Dirty Word Mad Libs. 121 00:07:00,060 --> 00:07:02,020 And then, hold on ... what's this? 122 00:07:02,260 --> 00:07:05,500 Tickets to the Monster Truck Mud Mayhem! 123 00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:09,220 Wow Randy, that sounds like a great idea. 124 00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:12,420 If you're dating Granny from the Beverly Hill Billies. 125 00:07:13,980 --> 00:07:18,540 It's just..there is something I don't like about the usual roses, fancy dinner and theater tickets. 126 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:19,460 It's so ... 127 00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:21,220 expensive. 128 00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:24,380 Hey Leo, 129 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:26,740 what is you idea of a romantic date? 130 00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:29,460 November 13th. 131 00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:35,220 But this year is ruined, man. I gotta go to the dentist. 132 00:07:40,820 --> 00:07:45,460 Well I hope you two lovebirds are ready to tell us all about your relationship. 133 00:07:45,460 --> 00:07:46,460 We sure are. 134 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,780 We've been dating so long, we finish each other's... 135 00:07:49,420 --> 00:07:50,340 ...Sentences. 136 00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:53,220 Well, I was going to say sandwiches but whatever. 137 00:07:54,220 --> 00:07:55,180 Okay, here we go. 138 00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:01,500 What's Up, Wisconsin? 139 00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:05,220 It's time for our annual "Fools For Love" segment 140 00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:06,940 and with me today 141 00:08:07,140 --> 00:08:12,220 is my assistant, Jackie Burkhart and her boyfriend, Fez... 142 00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:16,140 How do you pronounce your last name? 143 00:08:16,460 --> 00:08:19,100 Oh, the first five Ks are silent. 144 00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:23,500 See how they look at each other! 145 00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:27,540 Hm. It's just the way Sonny used to look at me while Cher was in make-up. 146 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:32,020 So... tell us how you two met. 147 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:34,460 Well uhm... 148 00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:35,900 I'll take this one baby. 149 00:08:36,540 --> 00:08:37,820 It was the third grade. 150 00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:39,580 Jackie came to school with pink-eye. 151 00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:41,940 All the kids teased her, so ... 152 00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:44,260 I rubbed her eye and infected myself. 153 00:08:45,340 --> 00:08:46,340 So she wouldn't be alone. 154 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,140 I guess you can say it was love at first sight! 155 00:08:50,540 --> 00:08:51,900 Pink sight that is. 156 00:08:53,420 --> 00:08:58,620 Well I'm sure my viewers are dying to know the secret of your happiness. 157 00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:00,020 It's very simple. 158 00:09:01,180 --> 00:09:02,860 We make out every chance we get. 159 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:05,260 Kiss me baby! 160 00:09:05,260 --> 00:09:07,180 Nooooo! No no baby baby, I ... 161 00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,100 I have a cold sore. 162 00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:12,740 Well baby, that wouldn't be the first time I got a disease from you baby. 163 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,900 No no baby, I just... I ate some garlic bread. 164 00:09:16,980 --> 00:09:19,460 Oh baby that's perfect! I just ate spaghetti, baby! 165 00:09:19,460 --> 00:09:20,820 Oh. Baby.... 166 00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:21,380 Baby. 167 00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:21,940 Baby. 168 00:09:21,940 --> 00:09:22,420 Baby. 169 00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:22,900 Baby. 170 00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:23,300 BABY! 171 00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:25,180 Come on Jackie. 172 00:09:25,180 --> 00:09:27,900 Give your man a Valentine's Day kiss! 173 00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:39,300 Call the fire department! 174 00:09:40,420 --> 00:09:42,180 You can't fake passion like that. 175 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,740 We'll be right back. 176 00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:52,140 Well, that was terrific. 177 00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:54,460 Jackie, thank you, you acted yourself darling. 178 00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:58,980 And Fez ... as usual I didn't understand a word you said. 179 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:03,100 Fez! We did it! 180 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,820 Oh you totally saved my job. 181 00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:08,940 Yes. And you totally were not kidding when you said you ate garlic bread. 182 00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:18,460 There's my Valentine. 183 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,500 See, now. The card is a heart, 184 00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:27,340 actually it's your heart, and it's saying: "Hi Red, remember when I attacked you?" 185 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:32,140 It's a reminder to cut back on fatty fried foods. 186 00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:34,860 Well that's real cute. 187 00:10:35,140 --> 00:10:35,940 I'll tell you what, 188 00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:40,420 you close your eyes and start counting and I'll be right back with your gift! 189 00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:42,460 1 ... 190 00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:43,460 2 ... 191 00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:44,460 3 ... 192 00:10:45,220 --> 00:10:45,700 4 ... 193 00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:51,500 What the hell! 194 00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:57,740 Oh Nooo! 195 00:10:59,300 --> 00:10:59,820 23 ... 196 00:11:00,380 --> 00:11:01,140 24 ... 197 00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:02,620 25 ... 198 00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:03,980 26 ... 199 00:11:05,180 --> 00:11:06,060 27 ... 200 00:11:06,340 --> 00:11:07,100 28 ... 201 00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:08,620 29 ... 202 00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:09,820 30 ... 203 00:11:10,140 --> 00:11:10,820 31 ... 204 00:11:11,260 --> 00:11:11,940 32 ... 205 00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:13,140 33 ... 206 00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:33,220 Mrs. St. George, are you okay? 207 00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:38,340 Yes, it's ... this happens to me every Valentine's Day. 208 00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:41,300 I see a couple in love 209 00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:48,100 and it reminds me that I am missing the one thing that every woman needs to feel good about herself. 210 00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:50,180 A friend that is fatter then you? 211 00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:53,740 Love! 212 00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:56,780 I sacrificed love for my career and 213 00:11:58,220 --> 00:12:01,020 sometimes I think I maybe did the wrong thing. 214 00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:04,060 Have a drink with me. 215 00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:08,260 Really? 216 00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,780 Tell me all about yourself. 217 00:12:11,420 --> 00:12:13,940 Who you are, what makes you tick. 218 00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:16,860 Well, uhm.... 219 00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:17,340 No. 220 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,220 Let's go back to me. 221 00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:24,980 I was born in a small hamlet, 222 00:12:25,540 --> 00:12:29,420 just outside a little place I like to call New York ... 223 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:36,460 ...And so I returned safely to base-camp. 224 00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:40,700 That half-frozen sherpa on my back. 225 00:12:42,580 --> 00:12:45,460 There is a famous Tibetan folksong about it. 226 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,100 Wow. You're incredible. 227 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:50,660 So are you. 228 00:12:52,460 --> 00:12:53,940 Here's to you dear. 229 00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:56,300 No. To you Ms. St. George. 230 00:12:57,260 --> 00:12:59,780 Well, that's what I meant. 231 00:13:01,540 --> 00:13:04,900 Why on God's green earth would I drink to you? 232 00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:07,660 You're cut off. 233 00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:14,580 So do I look okay? 234 00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:17,580 Just wanna make sure my outfit doesn't send the wrong message to my date. 235 00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,460 Okay, what message are you trying to send? 236 00:13:21,060 --> 00:13:22,100 I'd like it to say: 237 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:23,740 Hi, my name is Randy. 238 00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:26,460 I'm a fun-loving, yet slightly naughty guy. 239 00:13:27,980 --> 00:13:29,260 The little boy in me is insecure, 240 00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:30,540 but the man in me is cocky, 241 00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:33,860 giving me a playfully heady mix of humility 242 00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:34,820 and aloofness. 243 00:13:36,260 --> 00:13:36,940 I like you, 244 00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:38,340 let's party! 245 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,740 I think you are asking a little too much from a jacket, but ... 246 00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:43,340 go have fun. 247 00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:46,300 Okay Donna, 248 00:13:46,740 --> 00:13:47,940 you're Valentine's here! 249 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:50,860 I thought we'd start with some Hangman, 250 00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:54,420 then move into something that really gets the pulse racing like ... 251 00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:55,220 Yahtzee. 252 00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:59,300 Alright. Just so long as when you get Yhatzee you yell Poopsie. 253 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:02,580 That's not a promise I can make. 254 00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:06,300 Oeh, pizza! 255 00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:11,500 Oh. You're back. 256 00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:14,980 Hope your car is not blocking the driveway, we're expecting a pizza. 257 00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:17,940 Donna, 258 00:14:18,620 --> 00:14:20,940 would you go out with me on a big Valentine's Day date? 259 00:14:23,140 --> 00:14:24,820 What about the other girl? 260 00:14:25,180 --> 00:14:26,100 There is no other girl. 261 00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:28,500 I just think you're hot and I want to go out with you. 262 00:14:33,860 --> 00:14:36,460 I'm a father and I'm standing right here! 263 00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:39,900 Here Mr. Pinciotti. 264 00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:40,980 Pizza's on me. 265 00:14:42,820 --> 00:14:44,340 Have her home by sunrise. 266 00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:51,460 Hey Kitty. 267 00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:55,420 Hi Red. 268 00:14:55,740 --> 00:14:57,980 Sorry I didn't get around to making dinner, but ... 269 00:14:58,340 --> 00:15:01,820 I was too busy counting to 956. 270 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:04,860 Well, it's gonna be worth it, 271 00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,060 cause I found your gift. 272 00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:09,540 Look at that. 273 00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:10,900 Pack of gum. 274 00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:13,020 Tire gauge. 275 00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:15,380 Actually the gum was for me. 276 00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:15,780 Red! 277 00:15:17,260 --> 00:15:19,620 Kitty, you always said it's the thought that counts. 278 00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:21,620 Oh I said that to Eric when he was five 279 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:24,100 and he gave me that stupid macaroni-frame. 280 00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:26,020 You! 281 00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:28,300 What did you do? 282 00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:31,220 I'm sorry Red. 283 00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:33,300 I was down there picking out a gift for Sam 284 00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:35,660 and she caught me and assumed everything was for her. 285 00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:37,780 And she started kissing me everywhere and... 286 00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:40,340 I just handed everything over to her. 287 00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:42,660 That's her power man. 288 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:45,220 Good God Steven, 289 00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:46,540 the whole stash? 290 00:15:46,860 --> 00:15:48,540 Look, I know I owe you an apology but 291 00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:49,260 can it wait? 292 00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:51,460 Cause Sam just send me up here to get some whipped cream. So.... 293 00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:55,380 Sorry! 294 00:15:58,860 --> 00:15:59,300 Okay. 295 00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:01,420 What were you two talking about? 296 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:05,500 Well Kitty ... 297 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:09,380 I had a stash of gifts down there for every occasion. 298 00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,580 That way, if I forgot to buy you something, 299 00:16:12,020 --> 00:16:13,220 I'd still be covered. 300 00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:16,580 You buy my gifts in bulk?! 301 00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:20,980 Nooooo ... it's ... more of a .... 302 00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:23,860 vast inventory of love. 303 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:29,020 Well, 304 00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:33,500 you're about to get a vast inventory of my foot in your ass! 305 00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:37,860 Yeah! I can do that too! 306 00:16:49,460 --> 00:16:50,420 Wow. 307 00:16:51,980 --> 00:16:54,260 So ... this was for me all along? 308 00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:55,340 Yeah. 309 00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:59,380 For one day I wanted to transform this crappy little record store 310 00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:01,980 into a crappy little bistro. 311 00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:05,980 Thanks. 312 00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:11,580 So, when I asked you out, why did you pretend to have another date? 313 00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:12,700 Donna. 314 00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:14,900 I've wanted to ask you out for a long time. 315 00:17:15,460 --> 00:17:18,540 And then you kinda beat me to it and I'm kinda of a traditional guy. 316 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:20,100 I like to make the first move. 317 00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:23,780 But ... if you want to make the second move, 318 00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:25,780 well, you're in luck. 319 00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:28,820 I'm not wearing a bra! 320 00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:34,700 That's good to know. 321 00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:43,300 Hey! 322 00:17:43,940 --> 00:17:45,940 I just had the best meal! 323 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,180 Somebody left two whole steak-dinners in there! 324 00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:53,100 Now if you'll excuse me, 325 00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:55,740 I'm off to the Monster Truck Show. 326 00:18:02,940 --> 00:18:03,820 Would you just listen?! 327 00:18:03,820 --> 00:18:05,580 Oh Red, I'd love to talk to you 328 00:18:05,580 --> 00:18:07,900 but I have to check the pressure in my tires! 329 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:12,100 Hey Red. 330 00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:14,980 Kitty told Sam the presents weren't for her. 331 00:18:14,980 --> 00:18:15,860 Now I'm kinda in trouble. 332 00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:18,900 So, I got us each a bouquet of flowers for our ladies. 333 00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:22,700 Kitty! I got you roses! 334 00:18:23,660 --> 00:18:25,300 See how it feels, dumb-ass? 335 00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:32,620 Jackie. Come in. 336 00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:33,380 Please. 337 00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:37,500 I just wanna thank you for yesterday. 338 00:18:38,020 --> 00:18:40,900 I feel we really bonded. 339 00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:45,020 As much as a star can bond with a commoner. 340 00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:48,500 Well I'm ... I'm really glad that we talked. 341 00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:50,900 You know, I got to see there's a real person in there. 342 00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:53,660 Someone with hopes and fears and emotions. 343 00:18:53,780 --> 00:18:55,820 Well, I'm only human. 344 00:18:56,940 --> 00:19:02,180 And you snuck a rare peak behind my iron curtain didn't you? 345 00:19:03,740 --> 00:19:04,260 I know. 346 00:19:04,260 --> 00:19:06,140 You know I really feel like I got to know you better. 347 00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:07,500 Yes you did. 348 00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:09,020 And so you're fired. 349 00:19:10,980 --> 00:19:11,820 Wait, what? 350 00:19:12,180 --> 00:19:15,780 I cannot have an employee know so much about me. 351 00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:19,860 And since you're TV career is finished, 352 00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:21,900 may I suggest bartending? 353 00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,780 You pour a mean Scotch, lady. 354 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:27,980 W..no no no no. This isn't fair. 355 00:19:28,260 --> 00:19:29,820 I work my butt off for you. 356 00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:31,660 Thank you. Out you go. 357 00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:34,980 Go on. 358 00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:37,980 Okay alright you know what? Nobody here likes you. 359 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:41,060 They only pretend to like you because you're famous. 360 00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:44,620 And I pretend to like them because they bring me lunch. 361 00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:49,460 Oh God. Ohhh. You are a crazy bitter lady 362 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,100 with a hole where your heart should be! 363 00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:53,500 Now is that supposed to hurt me? 364 00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:56,180 I have a mug that says that. 365 00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:03,340 Those shoes are so last season! 366 00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:07,540 Rot in hell you worthless maggot! 367 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,640 Well I guess that's it. 368 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,120 Awww, I promised myself I wouldn't cry. 369 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:18,520 Wadda ya know, I didn't. 370 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:21,040 Okay look. 371 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,200 Christine is obviously looking for a new assistant, 372 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,400 so I put in a good word for you. 373 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,600 Really? Even though I was so mean to you? 374 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,080 Wow thanks. 375 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,400 What's Up Wisconsin? 376 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,360 I licked your phone! 377 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,120 I licked your phone!