1 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,160 Eric... 2 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,800 I found this in the garage and I want an explanation. 3 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:16,240 Okay, when people write stories and glue the pages together, it forms what we call a book, 4 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:21,880 I don't want "the joy of sex" polluting my house. 5 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:27,760 "The joy of sex." What a load of crap. 6 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,920 That book's for perverts, red. 7 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:34,200 You should give it to me so I can sell it to fez. 8 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:36,720 Red, the book is mine. 9 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,440 I put it in the garage so you would find it. 10 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:44,200 Uh-oh. I'm late for work. 11 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:49,880 No, no, no, I am serious. It's high time you and i put some zip back in the bedroom. 12 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,520 I got a great idea. 13 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:57,240 We'll put a tv in the bedroom. There's your zip. 14 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,360 Okay, I want the full fez treatment-- 15 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:07,320 a wash, cream rinse and a lot of that wiggly stuff you do with your fingers. 16 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,080 It's magical. 17 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,480 Abracadabra, baby. 18 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:16,760 So, danielle, what's on your schedule today? I mean, besides looking beautiful. 19 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:20,480 Well, looking beautiful is from 10 to 12, then I have a date. 20 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,800 Ooh, hot date alert. Tsss! 21 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:28,760 It's not that hot. The guy's kind of a knucklehead. 22 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:32,160 I mean, he's really cute, but it's like, when I talk, he's not paying attention to me. 23 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:33,480 Oh! 24 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:38,320 I hear this complaint 20 times a day. 25 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:42,480 You're a treasure. He should worship you like a big stone head. 26 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,640 You're so great. You know, you really get women. 27 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,640 Well, if you mean "get" as in "understand," then, yes, I get them. 28 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,880 But if you mean "get" as in "get," 29 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,120 then, no, never. 30 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:58,480 If I had a woman like you, I would give her anything her heart desired. 31 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,440 Maybe I should blow off my date and go out with a guy like you. 32 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:07,680 And when I say, "a guy like you," I mean you, specifically. 33 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,440 Wow. 34 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,080 But just to be clear, I still have a tip coming, right? 35 00:02:57,900 --> 00:03:02,260 steven. Steven, would you please stop doing that? You're gonna get all eric-Y. 36 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,260 Give. 37 00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:09,540 Jackie, boys have to play fight because they secretly want to touch each other. 38 00:03:11,740 --> 00:03:14,100 Yeah, you guys wish you could play fight. 39 00:03:14,140 --> 00:03:17,420 But girls can't, 'cause it always turns into a real fight. 40 00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:20,900 Are you seriously telling me that if jackie and i wanted to play fight, we couldn't? 41 00:03:20,980 --> 00:03:23,180 Um, let me listen for the echo of what I just said. 42 00:03:23,220 --> 00:03:26,220 Girls can't play fight. Yep! That's what I think. 43 00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:30,740 I agree. Girls are bitches. 44 00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:32,980 Really? 45 00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:36,140 - Come on, jackie. Put your dukes up. - Okay. 46 00:03:36,180 --> 00:03:38,780 Watch and learn, boys. 47 00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:44,020 See, it's all fun and games. 48 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:46,620 Ow, you scratched me! 49 00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:48,820 Get off of me, bigfoot! 50 00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:52,460 Let go of my hair or I'll pound your tiny ass! 51 00:03:56,860 --> 00:03:59,260 - Spoilsport. - Hey, 52 00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:01,700 yours is gonna kill mine. 53 00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:08,100 Ladies,that was pathetic. 54 00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:10,460 What? That wasn't even real. 55 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,540 - We're fine. - Yeah. 56 00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:14,100 I don't know what you're talking about. I had fun. 57 00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:16,540 Oh, you're so immature! 58 00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:23,740 You guys aren't going to believe this. 59 00:04:24,260 --> 00:04:25,300 Wait. 60 00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:28,100 Were two hot girls just fighting in here? 61 00:04:28,980 --> 00:04:30,100 No. 62 00:04:30,540 --> 00:04:32,140 Someone is lying. 63 00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:34,340 Anyway, 64 00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:37,340 I was just shampooing this foxy girl danielle, and the next thing I know, 65 00:04:37,380 --> 00:04:40,100 we're making out in the shampoo closet. 66 00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:43,740 Wait a second, you're trying to tell me that you were shampooing a girl and she got so horny, 67 00:04:43,780 --> 00:04:46,460 she had to make out with you in the shampoo closet? 68 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,460 That doesn't sound real, man. That sounds like a mad lib. 69 00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:56,060 Yeah, are you sure you weren't just kissing a mop? 70 00:04:58,700 --> 00:05:00,740 'Cause, man, I've seen you do that. 71 00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:03,020 No, no. 72 00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:06,380 Danielle kept going on and on about this adorable knucklehead she was dating, 73 00:05:06,380 --> 00:05:08,820 and I just sympathized with her problems. 74 00:05:09,180 --> 00:05:10,700 Well, that makes sense. 75 00:05:10,740 --> 00:05:13,540 I mean, all a woman really wants is a man who listens. 76 00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:14,860 I listen. 77 00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:17,540 And doesn't pat himself on the back. 78 00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:20,940 I never pat myself on the back. 79 00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:23,420 So, yeah, I got that going for me. 80 00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:28,180 You guys, something happened today that has never happened to me before. 81 00:05:28,220 --> 00:05:30,580 Oh, you did long division? 82 00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:33,460 No, I got stood up. 83 00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:36,940 I was supposed to meet this girl danielle after her haircut, and she never showed. 84 00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:38,380 Danielle! 85 00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:40,420 Danielle? 86 00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:43,460 Okay, wait a second, first a girl fight and now this? 87 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:45,980 I vote "best day ever." 88 00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:52,260 Kelso is the adorable knucklehead. 89 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,860 Hey, thanks, fez, but I'm trying to tella story here. 90 00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:59,220 Okay, so I've been trying to figure out why she didn't show, 91 00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:01,700 and I've come to the only logical conclusion-- 92 00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:03,380 she's dead. 93 00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,700 Kelso, maybe danielle met a guy that she likes better than you. 94 00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:12,340 Don't be crazy, fez. Danielle is dead, and wecan never bring her back. 95 00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:19,980 Kitty, we don't need "the joy of sex." 96 00:06:20,020 --> 00:06:25,100 Well, why not? It's not dirty. This book-- it doesn't even have photographs, just 97 00:06:25,340 --> 00:06:27,260 sketches. 98 00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:31,420 But they're so detailed. They draw in every single part. 99 00:06:31,460 --> 00:06:33,660 And it's not to scale. 100 00:06:34,580 --> 00:06:37,260 Oh, here's a fun idea. 101 00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:38,620 okay. 102 00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:45,020 Instead of throwing away our old dish towels, we can use them as blindfolds 103 00:06:45,060 --> 00:06:49,780 and play a sexy bedroom version of marco polo. 104 00:06:50,740 --> 00:06:54,580 oh, come on. Don't you want to be one of those fun, older couples? 105 00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:59,420 Kitty, I want us to grow old and withdraw into ourselves. 106 00:07:01,140 --> 00:07:02,860 Hey, what's for lunch? 107 00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:07,180 Well, I was thinking of making something, but that would mean I would have to look at a cookbook, 108 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:10,900 and I don't like to learn new things from books. 109 00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:14,980 Yeah, so is lunch off or, um... 110 00:07:15,540 --> 00:07:18,420 I mean, what's the lay of the lunch land here? 111 00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:23,460 I don't see why I have to read a book on bodily functions. 112 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:27,700 I've never read a book on eating, yet I'm extremely well fed. 113 00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:30,180 But I'm not. Could I, like... 114 00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:34,060 seriously, like a sandwich or... 115 00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:35,980 well, you know what? 116 00:07:36,260 --> 00:07:40,260 Nobody is eating unless you give this book a try. Until then, 117 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:42,300 I quit cooking. 118 00:07:44,820 --> 00:07:47,420 Wow, I can't believe I'm asking you this, but 119 00:07:47,740 --> 00:07:50,260 please have kinky sex with my mother. 120 00:07:57,140 --> 00:08:01,340 No, danielle, I love your outfit. But I just think you can always go tighter. 121 00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:04,900 Oh, my god! Danielle, you're alive! 122 00:08:04,940 --> 00:08:06,780 Yeah, why wouldn't I be? 123 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,220 Well, 124 00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:11,940 thenif you're not dead, then-- then why did you blow off our date? 125 00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:14,620 Look at him try and put it together. 126 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,860 He's got it now. 127 00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:20,100 No, wait, he doesn't. 128 00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:23,540 Yeah, now--wow. Not yet. Wow. 129 00:08:23,740 --> 00:08:26,740 This is, like, the slowest burn ever. 130 00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:30,900 This is like how burns were in the 1800s before we had electricity. 131 00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:34,740 Danielle stood you up so she could make out with the adorable new man in her life. 132 00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:36,500 Ah--me. 133 00:08:36,540 --> 00:08:39,380 That's right. Ah--him. 134 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,560 Don't bump me. 135 00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,560 Don't get in my way. 136 00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:02,840 Well, maybe I wouldn't be in your way if you could sit still like a normal person instead of a vibrating spazoid. 137 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:04,600 Really? 138 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:08,640 Well, guess what. You fight like a poor girl. 139 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,280 get off me! 140 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,040 get off me! 141 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,400 this ain't over, squatty! 142 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:18,320 Get off. I'm going. 143 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:24,280 Hey, if they're gonna keep this up, we should invest in a video camera. 144 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:30,360 All right, fez, stand up so I can kick your ass. How dare you steal a girl out from under me! 145 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:33,280 First of all, I can do whatever I want. 146 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:37,680 Second of all, when I stole her, she was not under you, she was under moi. 147 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,080 That's it. 148 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,640 Whoa! Whoa! Guys, listen. 149 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:46,080 I just realized I am not strong enough to hold you two apart. Hyde, come on. 150 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,120 Kelso, 151 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:54,480 Maybe you shouldn't be asking what he did. You should be asking what you did to let it happen. 152 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,360 Or what you didn't do. 153 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,440 You know, maybe you just lost your mojo. 154 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:02,640 Look, a guy can't just lose his mojo, okay? 155 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,160 Can he? 156 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,680 Well, when was the last time you made out with two girls at once? 157 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:09,800 that was... 158 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,520 oh, no. 159 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,480 I can't remember. 160 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:18,160 Kissed four different girls in the same day? 161 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,120 I don't know! 162 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,120 You guys, I might've lost my mojo. 163 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,800 And I got it. I got your mojo. 164 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,160 Which reminds me, I also have your yo-yo, so... 165 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,840 I want 'em both back. 166 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:37,640 You know, how can I lose a girl to you? You don't even speak english. 167 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:39,800 Well, kelso, look at the bright side. 168 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,840 Danielle is a wonderful girl who likes me better than you. 169 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,000 Why is that the bright side? 170 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,800 Because... burn !!! 171 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,760 these are stale. 172 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,560 Well, eat slow. We gotta make 'em last. 173 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:07,520 Hey ya, red. 174 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:12,360 Eric told me you and kitty are having a little trouble in the old hee-hoo department. 175 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,800 You told bob? 176 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,600 Are you out of your puny mind? 177 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,280 Look, you have to work this stuff out with mom. 178 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,760 She hasn't fed us in three days. Dad, 179 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,240 I can't afford not to eat. 180 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,560 Yesterday I ate a raisin off the floor. 181 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,920 I'm not even sure if it was really a raisin. 182 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,160 Look, red, 183 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,360 you should take kitty's request for a love life spice up seriously. 184 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,680 When midge wanted to turbocharge our love life, 185 00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:42,800 it was really a symptom of a much deeper marital problem. 186 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,920 Yeah, that you were deviants. 187 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:49,280 Deviants? Well, the couple we were dating sure didn't seem to think so. 188 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,800 I'm tellin' you, this problem is not just about sex. 189 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:53,880 It isn't? 190 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:57,480 Well, maybe she's just unhappy emotionally. Wouldn't that be wonderful? 191 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:01,000 No, red. It means you have a problem. And you have to deal with it. 192 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,080 Yeah, okay. 193 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:08,400 Yeah, I guess it's important that kitty get listened to. Eric, go listen to your mother. 194 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:09,200 Why me? 195 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,040 Because without food, you'll die first. 196 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,240 So, danielle, tell me again how much more you like me than kelso. 197 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,760 Well, you're sensitive 198 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,160 and thoughtful and understanding 199 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,880 and very, very sexy. 200 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,360 Lady, don't ever stop talking. 201 00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,720 And you're funny and sweet. 202 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,920 And did I mention? Very, very sexy. 203 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,120 Lady, you gotta shut up. 204 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,200 So, mom, in the interest of returning 205 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:47,120 regular meal service to my now shattered life... 206 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:51,560 I'm here to help. So, uh, just tell me the problem beneath 207 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,760 the dirty, gross problem. 208 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,880 Honey, there is none. 209 00:12:55,920 --> 00:13:01,400 I just want your father and me to have more adventurous sexual intercourse. 210 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:05,160 Well, this is one of those times I'm kinda happy my stomach's empty. 211 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,440 Um, look, instead of calling it, 212 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:10,120 uh, sexual inter--ah. Ahem. 213 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,320 Instead of calling it that, 214 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,520 why don't we call it, like, a walk in the park? 215 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:23,520 Fine. I want your father and ito have more adventurous walks in the park. 216 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:26,920 I want to walk in the park in the kitchen. 217 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,280 walk in the park on a tuesday. 218 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,840 I even want to walk in the park in the park. 219 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,200 Okay, okay, okay. 220 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,320 Okay, um... 221 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,320 okay, um, mom, I think you're-- you're playing this all wrong. 222 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,200 Dad wants you to have a deeper emotional issue. 223 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,680 Invent one. 224 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:48,080 He'll give you anything you want to avoid talking about 225 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,880 walks in the park. 226 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:54,200 So think big. You know, I might be able to get you diamonds here. Maybe even a new car. 227 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,920 This is like emotional "price is right," baby. You're in the showcase. 228 00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,480 Oh! 229 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:03,760 I also want to walk in the park during "the price is right." 230 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,000 Well, what's the news? 231 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,520 You better start studying. 232 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:30,520 All right. 233 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,240 So I spent the whole day thinking about what happened with danielle. 234 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,360 And I realized that I shouldn't be mad at you. 235 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,880 I should be asking you for help. 236 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,400 Holy crap, man. Now you're asking fez for girl advice? 237 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:47,040 Next thing you know donna's gonna be asking forman how to throw a ball. 238 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,440 Look, he's the one with the girl. 239 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,400 All right, fez. So where'd I go wrong? 240 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:55,400 Well, danielle said you were a bad listener and I'm a good listener. I heard her. 241 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,520 But so what? I hurt girls all the time. 242 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,360 No, not "hurt." Heard.I heard. 243 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,000 - You heard what? - Danielle.I heard danielle. 244 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:07,760 Why'd she choose you over me? Jeez. It's like talking to a 2 year old here. 245 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:14,440 She chose fez because he listens when a woman talks instead of staring at her chest. 246 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,960 Stop staring at my chest! 247 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,760 I'm sorry. Look, I've been screwed by darwinism. 248 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:27,760 I never needed to evolve listening skills 'cause my looks are so highly developed. 249 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,120 Oh, that's not how evolution works. 250 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:32,600 Yeah, sure it is. Look, 251 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:36,120 say I had to catch my own food, right? But I only ate really fast animals. 252 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:39,320 My feet would eventually evolve into rockets. 253 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,480 Man, it's amazing your brain doesn't evolve into pudding. 254 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,360 All right, fez,come on. I need your help. 255 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,240 Why should I help you? 256 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:52,800 B-because you owe me. 257 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:57,080 Think about all the times that I set you up with my dates' less-pretty friends. 258 00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,440 That's true. You have thrown me some uggos. 259 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,160 All right, so show a little appreciation. 260 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:05,680 Fine. 261 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:09,040 But you have to promise not to use what I teach you on danielle to get her back. 262 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,680 - She's mine. - Done. 263 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,960 Okay, donna, I need your help. 264 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,200 Now sit here and pretend to be a girl. 265 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,120 Now tell a girlie story. Kelso, 266 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,760 you listen and repeat back whatever she says. 267 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,800 - Okay, you ready? - Yeah. 268 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,880 kelso, I had the worst day. 269 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,880 I didn't know what shoes to wear-- with a heel, without a heel... 270 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,200 I'm running out of firecrackers. 271 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,360 I bet I could a been best friends with spider-man. 272 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,800 Is that a new muscle? 273 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:45,200 Well, hello, new muscle. Welcome to kelso town. 274 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:46,800 Kelso. 275 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,280 Kelso! 276 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,120 What? 277 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,040 You weren't even listening. 278 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,040 How do you know? 279 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:55,400 'Cause you were staring at the ceiling with your tongue hanging out. 280 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,400 Kelso, when a woman talks, 281 00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:01,200 you have to look her in the eyes and pretend her words are like oxygen and without them, 282 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:02,920 you can't breathe. 283 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,320 But I don't care what she says. 284 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,960 How the heck did you ever get a girl? 285 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:15,240 I don't know. I just stare at her until she stops talking, then I kiss her. 286 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,240 Unbelievable. 287 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,200 All right, kitty. 288 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,200 I want you to be happy,I really do. 289 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:36,680 And to make that beautiful, illusive dream come true, 290 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:40,880 I'm willing to try page 46. 291 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,800 Really? 292 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:47,120 Oh, red, thank you. 293 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,360 Oh. 294 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:55,160 Page 46-- that is so fancy. 295 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,000 what? 296 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,040 Oh, dear god, no! Not, uh, 297 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:04,200 not page 46. I meant page 47. Page 47. 298 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,520 And no funny stuff after I fall asleep. 299 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,960 And I didn't know what to do because I had just polished my nails and I didn't wanna 300 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,880 mess up my manicure. 301 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:21,400 You're such a good listener. I can't take it anymore. 302 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:23,480 What are you doing? Get off my lady! 303 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,200 - Fez! - You shut your hot little mouth. 304 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,920 You promised you wouldn't use anything I taught you on danielle. 305 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:32,320 Come on, you can't give me a gun and expect me not to shoot people with it. 306 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,680 Danielle, you have to choose. Him or me? 307 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,000 - But I-- - I said choose, woman! 308 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:41,360 Well, fez, if I have to choose between the two of you, I mean, the choice is obvious. 309 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,200 I choose you, fez. 310 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,160 What are you, stupid? 311 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:50,120 I mean, I mean, of course. Yes, good choice. Yes. 312 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,040 Wait. Him? How can you choose him? 313 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,840 I don't know. I guess I have this thing for guys who boss me around. 314 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,720 I'll meet you in the car, or wherever you tell me to meet you. 315 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,240 Oh, you'll meet me in the car,and you'll like it. 316 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:04,920 I will. 317 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:09,760 Okay, 318 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,920 here's the thing, fez... 319 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,640 she's clearly a lunatic, 320 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:21,160 which means that she'sgonna be super hot in bed, so congratulations on that one. 321 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:25,560 But you did snake her from me. So I get a free punch. 322 00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:29,760 But you did snake her back, so... 323 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,760 How do guys play fight without getting into a real fight? 324 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:51,240 Well, maybe'cause when they fight, michael doesn't elbow everything like a blonde tard-O. 325 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:55,480 See? Now that is gonna get your ass kicked. 326 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:59,280 Oh, I'm gonna punch you in your fat melon head. 327 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,720 Good luck reaching it, tiny loser. 328 00:20:15,220 --> 00:20:16,940 Thanks, tommy. 329 00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:22,900 Is that bacon I smell? 330 00:20:23,260 --> 00:20:25,540 Oh, what a perfect morning. 331 00:20:26,940 --> 00:20:28,420 - Marco! - Polo! 332 00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:30,180 Oh, my god!