1 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:11,720 okay, I don't understand why you're taking a video camera on a road trip. 2 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:14,480 You should be packing more sensible items, like 3 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:16,720 toilet paper and your mother. 4 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:20,720 Look, mom, accept it. I'm going. Okay, my year off is now officially over, 5 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:25,480 and I think I've finally decided on a sensible career that's gonna provide me with a really stable future. 6 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,120 I'm gonna be a traveling documentary filmmaker. 7 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,960 Oh, come on. You made that up. 8 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:38,040 Hey, kitty, I'm going ice skating on a rainbow ! 9 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,520 Eric, don't listen to him. 10 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:46,200 I have complete confidence you're gonna be the best traveling docu-whatsit-who-maker ever. 11 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:47,440 Thank you. 12 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,440 Do you have enough money ? 13 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:51,120 Mom, I don't need that much money. 14 00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:52,840 I'm sure that at stops along the way, 15 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:57,000 strangers will just offer me hot pots of beans in exchange for colorful stories from the road. 16 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,840 Hot pots of beans ? 17 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:05,120 What if they're spicy ? You can't even chew cinnamon gum. 18 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,920 Okay, that's it. I'm going. Uh, I'll miss you. 19 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,480 Well, thank you, sweetie. 20 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,240 Um, I think he was talking to me. 21 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,360 He was not. 22 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,600 Eric, who were you talking to ? 23 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:24,400 Yeah, who ? 24 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:28,200 It's times like this I usually fake chest pains. 25 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,680 Uh, I was talking to... 26 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:38,360 the prettiest girl in the driveway, that's who. 27 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,760 So, okay, 28 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:45,280 I want you to promise to call me every night at 9:00. 29 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:48,440 Oh, he can't be calling you because he's calling me at 9:00. 30 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,280 That's why I got him that watch as a gift. 31 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:55,280 Well, maybe he should be calling the person who gave him the gift of life. 32 00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:00,120 So you squeezed out a baby. That was a hundred years ago. 33 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,880 People have landed on the moon since then. 34 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:05,760 Hey, eric, 35 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,840 I'm gonna miss you, man. Hey, uh, just between friends, 36 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,480 I want you to know I'm gonna take a shot or two at donna. 37 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:15,040 He won't care. 38 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:19,360 On the road, he's going to meet lots of horny girl hitchhikers 39 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,400 looking for a ride to cheerleading camp. 40 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,320 What makes you think that, fez ? 41 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:28,800 Adult films. 42 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:36,440 Oh. 43 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,080 Hello, america, and welcome 44 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:40,880 to eric forman's 45 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,440 journey to happiness, 46 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,000 not to be mistaken with eric forman's 47 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,360 journey to fatso burger 48 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:50,640 or eric forman's journey to pee behind the piggly wiggly, which, uh, 49 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,720 which you just saw earlier. 50 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,040 I'll tell ya, being on the road like this 51 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,520 really makes you feel like a man. 52 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:08,640 Ahem. I guess I'll just 53 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,200 have to edit that part out later. 54 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:21,320 Okay, I think what we've learned today is that the road can be a cruel, cruel mistress. 55 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,600 She caresses your tire with her... 56 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,080 asphalt hand one minute, 57 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,280 punctures it the next. 58 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:29,240 But, hey, 59 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,000 at least that didn't stop me from making it out of point place. 60 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:44,080 I think what we've learned today is that the road can be a cruel, cruel mistress. Oh hey, 61 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:47,200 at least that didn't stop me from making it out of point place. 62 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,960 You know, steven, it's great we can still hang out. 63 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:27,840 We're kinda like sonny and cher. 64 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,040 We're together even though we've broken up. 65 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,360 I'm beautiful. You're weird-looking. 66 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,200 Look, they're talking. Maybe we should.. 67 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,080 okay, we're going upstairs. 68 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:56,480 Why ? 69 00:04:56,760 --> 00:05:01,160 Uh, uh, I just remembered that I- I can't be in the basement 'cause 70 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,600 I'm uncomfortable below sea level. 71 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,160 That's the best you can come up with ? 72 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,960 Just say that we're going to take a shower. 73 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:21,560 Wow. 74 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:25,160 You know, I think this is the first time we've been alone 75 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,800 together since, uh... 76 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:28,240 yeah. 77 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:34,040 Well, maybe we can use this opportunity to touch base about our feelings. 78 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,480 - Or we can watch tv. - Great ! Oh, I love tv. 79 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:46,960 oh, janie, 80 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,360 it's so hard to be in the same room with you, 81 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,720 because even though I'm a rough ne'er-do-well, 82 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:55,040 my love for you burns like a fire deep in my soul. 83 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,840 I feel the same, clyde, 84 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,400 and even though we broke up because you won't marry me, 85 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,160 I still hope that one day we'll get back together. 86 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,000 What are the chances of that ? 87 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,160 greetings, gentle viewer. 88 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,040 Road trip update. 89 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,880 About to change a flat tire, which, uh, 90 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,600 actually reminds me of a little joke. 91 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:22,000 How many psychiatrists does it take to change a flat tire ? Well, 92 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,400 see, first, the tire has to really wanna change. 93 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:26,600 Good one. 94 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:30,360 Anyway, what do you say we, uh, slap a spare tire on this sucker, huh ? 95 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,840 It turns out there is no spare tire. 96 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,080 and, uh, I- 97 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,200 it's, like, pitch dark out here. 98 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,280 hello ?! Hello ?! 99 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,400 Okay, there's definitely someone out there, and, uh, 100 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:52,800 I don't know who, but I think it's a pretty safe bet to say that it's probably a convict with a hook for a hand. Hello ?! 101 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:56,920 Okay, buddy, you come one step closer, I got a tire iron, 102 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,400 and I'll just give it to you if you'll go away. 103 00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:01,960 Hey, dude. 104 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,160 What are you doing here, man ? 105 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,280 Leo, what are you doing here ? 106 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,480 It's like the universe wanted us to find each other, man. 107 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:14,240 Yeah. 108 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:15,840 So 109 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:17,840 do I know you, man ? 110 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,680 So they're a family of monsters ? 111 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,240 No, they're munsters. 112 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,880 And they're living in a neighborhood of normal people. 113 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:39,160 Why don't the neighbors just get together with some guns and go over there and kill them ? 114 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,720 I'm pretty sure they're saving that for the last episode. 115 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,000 It's 9:15. 116 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,240 Has Eric called ? 117 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,280 - He didn't call you ? - No. 118 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:53,280 I thought sure he would call you. He's always choosing you over me. 119 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,480 Name one time. 120 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:57,240 Prom night. 121 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:03,680 Okay, I haven't heard from him, and I'm starting to think something bad happened to him. 122 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,200 Red, we have to go look for him. 123 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,600 Fine. Anything's better than this crap. 124 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,160 Who wants to see monsters not get killed ? 125 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,240 - did you ever see the new... - have you seen the new... 126 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:23,600 go ahead. 127 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,280 - See, the other day I... - I saw... 128 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:27,880 you said, "go ahead." 129 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,640 Yeah, I said it to be nice. 130 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,560 My story is much more interesting. 131 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,360 Well, go ahead, because I'm not gonna listen. 132 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,280 Well, fine, then,'cause I'm not gonna tell you. 133 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:46,200 Oh, it's as quiet as a basement with two former lovers in it. 134 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,480 I can eat the tension with a fork. 135 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,640 Wouldn't you cut the tension with a knife ? 136 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:00,400 Why cut it if you're not gonna eat it ? 137 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,880 No, no, fez, stay. Stay. 138 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:07,040 Why don't you tell us one of those charming little stories about your, um, homeland ? 139 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:10,200 Well, in my country, instead of bathrooms, we just... 140 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,480 he doesn't wanna stay down here with us. 141 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:14,520 How would you know what he wants ? 142 00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,120 You don't know what anybody wants. 143 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:17,880 Oh, this is so sad. 144 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,600 You're at each other's throats because of these unresolved feelings. 145 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,080 What ? No. 146 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,360 Fez, there are no unresolved feelings. 147 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,280 Really ? Then why are you so tense ? 148 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:28,960 Why is your foot tapping ? 149 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:32,720 Why is your foot tapping ? 150 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,040 Because I got rhythm, baby. 151 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,720 I can never stop dancing entirely. 152 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,720 you know what, leo ? This is my first truck stop, and I love it. 153 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:50,800 It's like, 154 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,400 how do you find this golden oasis ? 155 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,640 I woke up in the parking lot once. 156 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:03,800 And these truckers, they're like... they seem like great salt of the earth guys, you know ? 157 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:05,280 Hey ! 158 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,080 Ten-four, good buddies ! 159 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,400 Oh, oh, crap, they're looking at me. 160 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,160 No, they're looking at me, man. 161 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,040 Truckers love me. They think I'm Bob Seger. 162 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,480 You know what ? These guys would be the perfect people to interview for my movie. 163 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:24,080 - Where's your camera ? - Ah, it's so heavy. 164 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,280 So, uh, leo, what have you been doing since you left town ? 165 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:31,960 Ah, just wandering around, trying to find my place in life. 166 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,440 Yeah, I've been trying to find my place in life, too. It's like, 167 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,040 you know, like, where do I fit in ? 168 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:39,200 No, I've been looking for my house, man. 169 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,680 Boys, need anything else ? 170 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:48,560 Uh, no, we're just waiting for the mechanic I met in the parking lot to come back with my spare tire and change. 171 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,960 Honey, there's no mechanic around here. 172 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,720 Uh, no, there is. 173 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,960 it's this skinny guy. I gave him 20 bucks, and he just ran off. 174 00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:59,080 That'd be Earl. 175 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:00,320 He's a speed freak. 176 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,240 Oh, my god. Leo, that was my last 20 bucks. 177 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,960 It's okay, man. Dinner's on me. 178 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,000 Oh, thanks. You'll pay ? 179 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,440 No, I mean, I got spaghetti sauce all over me. 180 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:12,040 Leo, 181 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,760 look, be serious, man. What are we gonna do ? 182 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:16,320 I got it. 183 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,040 We'll soak the shirt in club soda. 184 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:26,080 okay, 185 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:30,480 I'm gonna use my police academy training to figure out what happened here. 186 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:36,720 First thing I'm gonna need is for everyone to lie face down with your hands behind your head. 187 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:42,360 What if he stopped to take a picture and he got kidnapped by white slavers ? 188 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,960 They're gonna kill him. He can't do anything ! 189 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,000 I told him this was a stupid idea, 190 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,880 and now we're stuck out here in the middle of nowhere. 191 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:57,800 My foot is shaking, it wants to kick his ass so bad. 192 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,040 I never should have let Eric go on this trip. 193 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,800 I should have tempted him into staying home by offering him sex. 194 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,680 I mean, scrabble. 195 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,880 Oh, look, if my baby being safe depended on you being loose, 196 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,520 I wouldn't have to worry. 197 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:19,560 Okay. 198 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,040 I think it's obvious what happened to eric. 199 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,320 We got an abandoned car, 200 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,200 a flat tire 201 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,760 and footprints heading off in that direction. 202 00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:31,440 Mrs. Forman, 203 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,800 your son's been kidnapped by coyotes. 204 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:40,280 Isn't it more likely that he had a flat tire, couldn't change it himself and went off to find some help ? 205 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,600 And the coyotes got him along the way. 206 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,640 Yeah, now you're thinking like a cop. 207 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:54,880 I can't believe I'm stuckin a backwoods truck stop with no money. 208 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,440 You know, if we don't do something, this waitress is just gonna hand us over to these truckers. 209 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,200 You know, they're all freaky sexual deviants. 210 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,920 Man, woman, animal... they don't care, as long as it's warm. 211 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:12,560 Don't worry, man. I've got an idea how we can pay for this dinner. 212 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,720 That was a good idea. 213 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,040 Now how are we gonna pay for dinner ? 214 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,440 I think this pretty much covers your tab. 215 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,840 But if you're interested, dessert's on me. 216 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,440 in that case, 217 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:33,120 you'd better soak your uniform in club soda. 218 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,320 You see ? 219 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,880 What an awesome night. 220 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:39,440 I am partying in the back of a truck stop with a 221 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:40,960 a hippie and a waitress... 222 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,440 who are now making out. 223 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,680 Wow, the fact that I'm here is not slowing them down at all. 224 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:51,240 Good god, woman, you buttered my toast with that hand ! 225 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,160 Okay, enough pussy footing around... 226 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,720 which, by the way, does not mean what I thought it meant. 227 00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:03,440 Why don't you just get back together ? 228 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,360 You know you want to. I don't even know why you broke up in the first place. 229 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:11,200 Because he's an incredibly immature jerk who can't commit to a future with me. 230 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,680 What she said, but I agree with me. 231 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:16,880 Nice rebuttal... 232 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,480 which, by the way, also does not mean what I thought it meant. 233 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,520 It's hopeless, okay ? 234 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,080 We both wanted different things out of the relationship. 235 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,280 You just have to remember the good times, 236 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,280 the things that brought you together. 237 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,440 Jackie, what are some of the things that hyde did that you miss ? 238 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,360 He never did anything a boyfriend's supposed to do. 239 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,360 He never bought me a horse. 240 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:40,640 Okay ? 241 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,840 He never rented a plane to spell "I love you" in the sky. 242 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,440 Oh, and he never even wrote me a single song. 243 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:50,200 How would you know ? You never stop talking long enough to listen. 244 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,520 Wait, you wrote me a song ? 245 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,440 No. 246 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,120 Okay, okay, okay. Let's try something else. 247 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:02,080 I want you to think back. Obviously, there was something that brought you together. 248 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:03,240 What was that ? 249 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,080 Well, I guess... 250 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:10,000 I guess I like the way his scruffy beard felt on my soft, creamy, 251 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,440 porcelain skin. 252 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,040 Yeah, I kinda liked that, too. 253 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,640 I also kinda like the fact that she was technically still with kelso. 254 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,200 And I knew being with him would piss off my mom. 255 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:28,920 And all my friends. 256 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,000 Oh, and we had to keep it a secret. 257 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,400 And I felt kind of ashamed of myself. 258 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,120 So did I. 259 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,080 I kinda liked that, too. 260 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,120 So did I ! 261 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,000 Oh, that's just so wrong. 262 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,360 Which is what made it so hot. 263 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:49,760 So hot. 264 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,240 Oh, fez, you should have been there. 265 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,000 Several times I was. 266 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:07,720 all right, listen, 267 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,160 this type of establishment is well known to criminals, okay ? 268 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,840 So I want you to stay close, and if there's any trouble, 269 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,880 I'm gonna use you guys as a human shield. 270 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,520 I don't like the looks of these people. 271 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:28,480 They seem like they could tease a polite young man about his sweater and then laugh when he starts to cry. 272 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,080 Where is my baby ? 273 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,640 See, that's the problem. 274 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:37,600 Maybe if you didn't baby eric so much, he wouldn't have had to leave to prove himself. 275 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:41,520 Well, maybe if you hadn't exhausted him with your sexual demands, 276 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:44,840 he wouldn't have had to leave just to get some sleep. 277 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,920 All right, that's enough, you two. 278 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,000 If eric's in trouble, he deserves it, 279 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,200 because he should know better by now. 280 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,200 You sound like you don't care at all. 281 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,160 It's not a matter of not caring. 282 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,320 It's a matter of not giving a crap. 283 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:02,280 Hey, red, 284 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,360 they got "rhinestone cowboy." Toss me a quarter. 285 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:07,920 Shut up. 286 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,120 For your information, 287 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,080 eric comes after me a lot more than I go after him. 288 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,400 You know, all you damn redheads are the same. 289 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,560 You can color it blond, but it's still there. 290 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,040 Well, it turns out 291 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,240 I have a couple of problems with being a traveling documentary filmmaker. 292 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:32,600 One... 293 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,640 the traveling. It's exhausting. 294 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:37,280 Two... 295 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,200 documentaries. I only like ones that are... 296 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,560 you know, about monkeys. 297 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:44,400 And three... 298 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,880 filmmaking. If there's no space battles, I mean, 299 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,720 you know, really, what's the point ? 300 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,080 I'll tell you something. This day has not been a waste. 301 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,600 I realized what I really wanna do with my life 302 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,320 is just get the hell out of point place. 303 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,120 I'm ready to do that. 304 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,040 I really feel like this trip 305 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:04,840 made me a man. 306 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,560 - Eric ?! - Mommy ? 307 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,040 Thank god you're okay. 308 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,440 - Oh, dad, I'm fine. - Not you. The car. 309 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,760 Eric, your mom called me a whore. 310 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:20,800 Only because I was worried about you and because I love you more than she does. 311 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:21,960 Worried ? What- 312 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:23,840 what did you guys think happened ? 313 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,120 Well, we figured you were either dead, 314 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,720 alive or kidnapped by coyotes. 315 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,680 Looks like I was right on the money. 316 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,440 Hey, I got that waitress's phone number. 317 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,520 - Leo ? - Leo ? 318 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,720 Hey, it's great to see you guys. 319 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,640 It's great to see you, leo. 320 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,800 So do I know you, man ? 321 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,640 Okay, here's what I think. 322 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:53,240 You two were hot for each other when the relationship was secret, forbidden, taboo. 323 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,840 But when it was out in the open, the thrill was gone. 324 00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,680 It was no longer taboo. 325 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,680 Then you started pushing for commitment, and you started pulling away. 326 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:09,720 Hmm. 327 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:12,160 So how do we move on from here ? 328 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:13,000 Move on ? 329 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,320 There will be no moving on. 330 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:20,400 Your relationship is one of the sickest freakin' things I've ever seen. 331 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,560 You're two deeply disturbed individuals, and your union... 332 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,560 well, your union was a blasphemy. 333 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,840 So you're saying that if we hooked up again, 334 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,240 it'd be even wronger than before ? 335 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,720 It can get wronger ? 336 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,400 Well, that's kinda hot. 337 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,400 Fez, I think maybe you should leave the room now. 338 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,880 Oh, no, no, you two cannot get together. I can't watch. I'm leaving. 339 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,600 Hey, who am I kidding ? 340 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,800 I can watch all night. 341 00:19:58,520 --> 00:19:59,360 hey. 342 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,600 Look who I found by the side of the road. 343 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:02,560 Leo. 344 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,760 Man, what are you doing back in town ? 345 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,640 I'm not really sure, man. 346 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,000 Yeah, I can't tell if he has amnesia, 347 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,000 or if he's just perfectly fine. 348 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,080 Well, I'm glad you're back, man. 349 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,040 Feeling's mutual, man. 350 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,040 Hey, wait a second. 351 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,640 You're Hyde, man. 352 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:22,280 Hey !