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Extra! Extra!
Read all about it!
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"Skinny Dillhole
Talks Like an Idiot"?
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Yeah, yeah. I read it.
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No.
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Guess who was voted Point
Place High's Most Eligible Viking?
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Tommy Larkin?
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Well, he is dreamy.
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No.
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Me. Thank you very much.
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Congratulations, Eric. I guess this
opens up a whole new world for you.
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One where you can
actually date chicks.
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And don't think I haven't
already thought of that, my friend.
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"Bachelorina Number One.
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"I've been diagnosed with a disease
that makes me irresistible to women.
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"If you were my doctor,
what would you do
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"to treat me?"
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I'd order you to stay in bed
for three weeks.
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With me.
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Uh-oh.
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I'm feeling better already.
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Bachelorina Number Two.
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Well, I'd have you strip down
for a complete physical.
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Well, then I guess we know
what's up, Doc.
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Number Three.
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I'd write you
a prescription for love
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and tell you to take me
three times a day.
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Careful, I might OD.
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Well, Eric,
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it's time to choose.
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Which one of these luscious,
fawning chicks will it be?
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Gosh, they all sound so great.
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I can't decide.
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Well, that's okay.
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You're Point Place High's
Most Eligible Viking.
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You can have them all!
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How tremendously fair!
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Kelso, tell Eric what he gets!
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Bachelorina Number One
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is a hot cheerleader.
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Bachelorina Number Two
is a hot cheerleader.
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Bachelorina Number Three
is a hot gymnast
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who used to be
a hot cheerleader.
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Well, until next time,
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this is Eric's jealous friend
Hyde saying,
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"I wish I was Eric Forman.
So long!"
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Forman, don't put me
in your fantasies.
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I don't even like
being in your real life.
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You can put me in your
fantasies, I don't mind.
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I don't have a lot going on.
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♪ Hanging out
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♪ Down the street
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♪ The same old thing
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♪ We did last week
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♪ Not a thing to do
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♪ But talk to you
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♪ We're all all right
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♪ We're all all right ♪
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Hello, Wisconsin!
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Oh, hey, Donna.
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Hey, um,
did you see the school paper?
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Oh, yeah. Field hockey team's
going to State. Whoo-hoo!
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Uh-oh. Looks like someone
doesn't wanna talk about the new
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Most Eligible Viking.
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Look, Donna, this whole, uh,
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"most eligible" thing has
really taught me something.
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Um, I'm pretty.
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So, what do you say,
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like, we officially
start dating other people?
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Oh, I've been waiting
for your permission.
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And can I stay out past 9:00,
please, please?
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Okay. As long as you can be
cool when you see me
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with one, two or seven of
Point Place's juiciest tomatoes.
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It's just like old times.
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Eric and Donna talking about
meaningless crap that affects only them.
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I've missed it so.
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I have missed it.
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I don't have a lot going on.
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Hey, look here.
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That '58 Corvette down at
the used-car lot is still for sale.
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Oh, and look here. That diamond bracelet
down at the mall is still for sale.
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Hey, Red, get this.
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A while back, I'm in my car
crying 'cause Midgie was gone,
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and I kept having to reach
into the glove box for tissues.
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Oh, that's dangerous.
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One time I had to blow my nose,
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nearly hit that cockeyed girl
down the street.
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I could've sworn
she was looking right at me.
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So I attached a box of tissues
to the sun visor,
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sold the idea for a bundle,
and voila.
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The Weeper Keeper was born.
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Oh, God. Are you rich again?
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Yep.
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I'm back to my
I-can-buy-anything-I-want former self.
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Just picked up two sombreros
and a case of Lik-M-Aid.
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Where are you gonna wear
a sombrero, Bob?
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Where won't I wear it?
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Okay, you guys,
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which one of these
lucky ladies gets to go out
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with Point Place High's
Most Eligible Viking?
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Start with the gymnastics team,
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but go with the second string.
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Just as limber,
but with something to prove.
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How about her?
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Yeah, I made out with her once.
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Okay, I don't want my tongue
where Kelso's tongue has been.
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Oh, you better stay away
from your mom, then.
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I was kidding!
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What about her?
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Hey, I know her, man.
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She's not all there,
if you know what I mean.
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She's a space case, huh?
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No, she's missing a toe.
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Oh, you guys.
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There's that girl Emily.
Problem solved.
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Excuse me, fellas.
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Hey, Emily.
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Oh, hi, Eric.
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I saw your name in the paper.
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God, that totally
slipped my mind,
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although I think I have
a copy right here.
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Look at him.
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Donna, you have to start dating
or you're gonna look pathetic.
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And I'm gonna look pathetic
for being seen with you.
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I know. I'll set you up.
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Okay, if you don't wanna
do this, just say so.
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I don't wanna do it.
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Oh, you don't know
what you want.
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Oh, my God.
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Oh, my God.
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Rhonda just said
she has something special
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to share with me tomorrow night.
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It can only mean
that we're going to do it!
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No, no, no, listen to me.
I need a place to do it.
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Roomy and cheap.
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Just like my Rhonda.
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You can use the Fotohut, man.
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I'm always happy to lend it out
for deflowering and bar mitzvahs.
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Thank you, Leo.
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Tomorrow night,
Fez becomes a man.
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Oh, so it is a bar mitzvah.
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Well, Bob, thanks for
insisting on coming along.
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So, Red, what's so special
about this thing?
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It's barely got a trunk.
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Where do you put the groceries?
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This car isn't about groceries.
146
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It's about freedom.
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Speaking of freedom,
they got free doughnuts.
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Ah...
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So long, dumb-ass!
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- Hey, Red.
- Hey. Oh, yeah.
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Yeah, there's plenty
of legroom in here.
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Glad you like it.
I just bought it.
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You what?
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Yeah,
I'm picking it up tomorrow.
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Sure hope that trunk
will hold my sombreros.
156
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Oh, is it my turn?
157
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:21,330
Oh, funny, 'cause tonight
is also my turn, uh, to do it.
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Guess what, Eric.
Donna has a date tonight, too.
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00:10:32,091 --> 00:10:34,135
Yep, yep, yep.
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00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:36,720
I set her up with Michael's
older brother, Casey.
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00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:46,147
Oh, man, Donna's going out
with Casey Kelso?
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Casey "What's the big deal?
It's just a misdemeanor" Kelso?
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Man, that's gonna be
the best bad date ever.
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Hey,
we should hide in the trunk.
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Oh, like Spritle and Chim Chim!
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00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:05,458
Oh, my God.
I would pay to see that date.
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"So, Casey,
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00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,172
"what are your
thoughts on feminism?"
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"Well, Donna,
I think it can munch my butt."
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All right. Hey. My brother's
not that bad, okay?
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He taught us a lot of good,
useful stuff about chicks,
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like, the bigger the boobs,
the smaller the brain.
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And that's a timeless truth.
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00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,694
I'll tell you
another timeless truth.
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I'm going to do it!
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00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:46,582
I don't know why I let you
set me up with Casey Kelso.
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From what I remember,
he's, like, a Kelso.
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Ooh! He's here. Okay, come on.
Try to look pretty.
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00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:58,469
That's it?
That's all I get is a honk?
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What kind of a jerk
won't even come to the door?
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Oh, my God.
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00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:14,569
- Casey?
- Hey, Pinciotti.
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Man, you really
grew into those legs.
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Yeah, and you,
your arms seem bigger.
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00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:27,747
You...
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00:12:30,585 --> 00:12:33,003
- So you ready to roll?
- Roll? I'm ready.
187
00:12:34,422 --> 00:12:35,839
We're gonna roll.
188
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,519
Fez, honey, what are you...
189
00:12:49,604 --> 00:12:51,522
Did you come for cake?
190
00:12:55,109 --> 00:12:57,236
No, I... Do you have cake?
191
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:04,243
No, no, no. I came here
because I have this... friend.
192
00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:06,786
Oh, really?
193
00:13:08,247 --> 00:13:09,789
What's his name?
194
00:13:12,585 --> 00:13:13,793
Name?
195
00:13:16,255 --> 00:13:17,673
Johnny
196
00:13:21,093 --> 00:13:22,094
Table.
197
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:27,600
And what's
Johnny Table's problem?
198
00:13:27,642 --> 00:13:30,352
Well, he and his girlfriend are
about to do something very special
199
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:32,187
for the first time.
200
00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:34,231
You mean,
they're going to engage in...
201
00:13:34,273 --> 00:13:35,441
Putt-Putt.
202
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:43,240
They are going...
They're going to Putt-Putt.
203
00:13:45,493 --> 00:13:48,912
And she has
putted around quite a bit.
204
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:54,251
But he is a virgin putter.
205
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,295
A virgin putter.
206
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:00,508
He has never putted.
207
00:14:02,134 --> 00:14:03,177
I see.
208
00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:05,012
And my friend, uh...
209
00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:06,972
Ay...
210
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:09,809
- Johnny Table?
- Yes.
211
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,894
Um, he cannot talk to
Eric or Kelso or Hyde
212
00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:14,854
because they make fun of me.
213
00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:21,862
Him, Johnny...
214
00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:25,156
Table.
215
00:14:30,496 --> 00:14:33,040
So he's coming to you.
216
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:37,753
Well, honey, you tell
Johnny Table to be respectful
217
00:14:38,462 --> 00:14:39,963
and wear a condom.
218
00:14:43,676 --> 00:14:46,928
Thank you, Mrs. Forman.
That's good advice.
219
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:50,391
So, uh, may I have my
piece of cake now?
220
00:14:52,476 --> 00:14:53,935
And one for Johnny Table.
221
00:14:57,481 --> 00:15:01,318
So, when my dad saw that I had broken
the TV with the bowling ball, I said,
222
00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:04,405
"You fix it, dumb-ass!"
223
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,994
Ah, it shut him up.
224
00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:14,874
You know, Eric, I've had
a crush on you for so long.
225
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:17,000
Well, since the paper came out.
226
00:15:18,252 --> 00:15:22,840
Oh, right,
the Most Eligible Viking.
227
00:15:22,882 --> 00:15:24,508
Well,
that's just good reporting.
228
00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:30,723
I can't believe
you're Kelso's brother.
229
00:15:30,765 --> 00:15:32,558
I mean, you're nothing like him.
230
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,393
'Cause he's, like...
231
00:15:34,435 --> 00:15:35,936
And you're all...
232
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,733
- Hey, you want a cold one?
- Okay.
233
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:45,571
Thanks.
234
00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:50,367
This is fun.
235
00:15:50,409 --> 00:15:53,621
I've been spending, like, way too much
time worrying about my mom and stuff.
236
00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,956
Hey, I learnt something
in the Army.
237
00:15:57,750 --> 00:15:59,251
When things are tough,
238
00:16:00,711 --> 00:16:03,338
turn up the music
and crack open another beer.
239
00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:08,844
Yeah, you mean, like, things
will eventually get better?
240
00:16:08,886 --> 00:16:11,726
I don't know about that. But if
they don't, at least you'll have a beer.
241
00:16:16,936 --> 00:16:18,646
Red, guess what.
242
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:20,773
I went down to pay
for my Corvette,
243
00:16:20,815 --> 00:16:23,275
and some jerk-wad
bought it out from under me.
244
00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:27,279
Oh. Well,
that's a tough break, Bob.
245
00:16:27,321 --> 00:16:29,490
But you know what would
make you feel better?
246
00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:39,667
A look at my new Corvette.
247
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:45,631
Oh, my goodness, it's beautiful.
248
00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:51,011
You bought my car?
249
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:53,472
That doesn't make me
feel better, Red.
250
00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:56,308
I'm sorry. Did I say
make you feel better?
251
00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:58,059
I meant make me feel better.
252
00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:07,152
Leo, thanks for letting me use The
Fotohut for my date with Rhonda.
253
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:09,822
And when I say date,
I mean do it!
254
00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:15,661
Hi, Fez.
255
00:17:15,703 --> 00:17:17,329
Rhonda, you look beautiful.
256
00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:26,046
Well, I'll leave you two with the
same advice my father gave me,
257
00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:28,048
"Get a job, dopehead."
258
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,890
So, here we are.
259
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:40,101
You know, Fez,
I've been with a lot of guys.
260
00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:45,315
You're more special
than any of them.
261
00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:47,985
Now, I've cleared
a space right over here.
262
00:17:50,362 --> 00:17:53,782
And because I care
about you and about us,
263
00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:55,534
I wanna wait.
264
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,250
Wait?
265
00:18:06,837 --> 00:18:09,339
Rhonda, hear me now,
things are turning blue.
266
00:18:17,765 --> 00:18:20,601
But... But, Fez, I love you.
267
00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:22,436
But... But...
268
00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:26,147
Oh, I love you, too.
269
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:30,110
- Really?
- Yes, damn it.
270
00:18:33,030 --> 00:18:34,823
So if you want to wait,
we'll wait.
271
00:18:34,865 --> 00:18:36,408
Ah, come here, cocoa puff.
272
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,747
Yeah, this is nice.
273
00:18:41,789 --> 00:18:44,291
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go sit in the snow.
274
00:18:53,425 --> 00:18:56,887
So, anyway, I just
turn to my dad and I say,
275
00:18:56,929 --> 00:18:59,640
"Yes, I am
some sort of wise-ass."
276
00:19:02,768 --> 00:19:05,104
Well, shut him up.
277
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:08,148
Anyway, this was fun.
278
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,274
Call me?
279
00:19:10,818 --> 00:19:11,860
Okay.
280
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:15,322
Hey, Emily!
281
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:17,783
- On the phone, silly.
- All right.
282
00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:22,955
I am silly.
283
00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:27,501
Hey, Foreplay, is that you?
284
00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:33,090
"Foreplay."
I forgot about that.
285
00:19:35,092 --> 00:19:37,552
- Come here, little guy.
- Okay, all right.
286
00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:39,638
Okay, all right.
Good to see you.
287
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,182
Okay. Okay, all right.
Okay. Okay.
288
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,188
Man, you haven't changed a bit.
289
00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:51,566
Still got that haircut, huh?
290
00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:55,487
No.
291
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:02,161
So, uh, they let you
out of the Army, huh?
292
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,745
Yeah.
293
00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:07,207
It was kind of like they were
always trying to tell me what to do.
294
00:20:08,042 --> 00:20:10,210
Hey, uh, Pinciotti tells me
295
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:12,420
you and her used to go out,
but you dumped her.
296
00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:16,591
Well, yeah. But it was kind
of complicated with the ring
297
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,802
- and we talked, but she...
- Yeah, it's a great story.
298
00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:24,933
- Anyhow, I'll see
you around, Pinciotti.
- Okay.
299
00:20:24,975 --> 00:20:26,727
You, too, Foreplay.
300
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:30,105
Yeah, okay.
301
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,193
Ooh, Casey Kelso, huh?
302
00:20:35,861 --> 00:20:38,446
Better luck next time.
303
00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:40,782
No, actually, I think
I might go out with him again.
304
00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:42,283
Okay.
305
00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:50,667
What?
306
00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:54,336
Okay.
307
00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:59,760
But, um, I have
just two words for you,
308
00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:02,678
Donna Kelso.
309
00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:05,933
See you.
310
00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:08,309
What, no!
But think of the children!
311
00:21:09,895 --> 00:21:12,189
Little redheaded morons!
312
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:18,570
They'd have to go to special
schools! It'd be expensive!
313
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,287
Donna and Casey.
314
00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:35,295
He's a Kelso!
315
00:21:42,594 --> 00:21:44,345
Behold, my friends.
316
00:21:44,387 --> 00:21:47,307
Your lovable foreign exchange
student, Fez, has done it.
317
00:21:49,768 --> 00:21:51,311
With a woman.
318
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:57,276
Fine, I'm still a virgin!
319
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:01,238
You forced it out of me!
320
00:22:02,197 --> 00:22:03,531
Stop looking at me!