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http
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http:
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http:/
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http://
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http://h
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http://hi
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http://hiq
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http://hiqv
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http://hiqve
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http://hiqve.
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http://hiqve.c
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http://hiqve.co
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http://hiqve.com
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http://hiqve.com/
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http://hiqve.com/
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Guys, there are actual
stewardesses out there,
20
00:00:08,159 --> 00:00:09,318
and one of them talked to me.
21
00:00:10,783 --> 00:00:12,700
I made this joke
about how they just flew in
22
00:00:13,908 --> 00:00:15,367
and their arms must be tired.
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Yeah, great.
24
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:22,159
Kelso, their neckerchiefs
are undone.
25
00:00:23,826 --> 00:00:26,742
You can see their necks.
26
00:00:26,784 --> 00:00:29,575
Look, I don't have time
for stewardess neck.
27
00:00:30,284 --> 00:00:31,493
I gotta study.
28
00:00:31,535 --> 00:00:33,469
They're really riding me
down at the Police Academy,
29
00:00:33,493 --> 00:00:34,660
and I don't know why.
30
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:36,368
I know why. It's fun.
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00:00:38,827 --> 00:00:41,576
They even chose me last
to work on the CPR dummy,
32
00:00:41,618 --> 00:00:43,576
so everybody's spit
was all over it.
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00:00:45,869 --> 00:00:50,369
Even Johnson's spit, and
he's got a monster cold sore.
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00:00:50,410 --> 00:00:53,452
I know why they're doing that.
I bet you're the stooge.
35
00:00:53,494 --> 00:00:55,119
What?
36
00:00:55,161 --> 00:00:57,929
Every year, the Police Academy
lets one guy in they know will fail out.
37
00:00:57,953 --> 00:00:59,661
They use him
to scare the other cadets.
38
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,411
I know 'cause my brother
was a stooge.
39
00:01:03,453 --> 00:01:04,870
All right, fine, it was me.
40
00:01:06,662 --> 00:01:08,453
Oh, man, I'm the stooge.
41
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:11,203
Hey, come on.
42
00:01:11,244 --> 00:01:14,139
Kelso, if that were true, you'd have had
to have been a screw-up your whole life.
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00:01:14,163 --> 00:01:18,620
I mean, sure, you've fallen
off the water tower every year
44
00:01:19,787 --> 00:01:20,996
since junior high.
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00:01:22,245 --> 00:01:23,621
You broke your arm
wrestling a dog.
46
00:01:25,329 --> 00:01:29,287
And heck, no one's eaten
more change than you.
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00:01:29,329 --> 00:01:30,764
All right, I gotta say
you guys are making
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00:01:30,788 --> 00:01:32,306
a pretty good case
that I'm the stooge!
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00:01:33,788 --> 00:01:35,788
Well, if you're not,
50
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:38,548
there's a guy who's about to step
on a rake that I really wanna meet.
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00:01:41,997 --> 00:01:43,747
♪ Hanging out
52
00:01:45,789 --> 00:01:47,622
♪ Down the street
53
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,165
♪ The same old thing
54
00:01:52,873 --> 00:01:54,789
♪ We did last week
55
00:01:56,206 --> 00:01:59,373
♪ Not a thing to do
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00:02:00,373 --> 00:02:03,832
♪ But talk to you
57
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,874
♪ We're all all right
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00:02:05,915 --> 00:02:08,332
♪ We're all all right ♪
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00:02:08,374 --> 00:02:10,207
Hello, Wisconsin!
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00:02:19,082 --> 00:02:21,374
I can't believe I'm the stooge.
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00:02:23,833 --> 00:02:26,333
Michael, it's just the way
some people are. Okay?
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00:02:26,375 --> 00:02:28,791
Some people are lazy,
some people are clumsy,
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00:02:28,833 --> 00:02:30,208
some people are stooges.
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00:02:32,042 --> 00:02:33,441
You're lucky enough
to be all three.
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00:02:37,792 --> 00:02:41,876
Kelso, keep in mind you're
being called a stooge by a stooge
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00:02:41,917 --> 00:02:43,459
while a third stooge
sits idly by.
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00:02:44,792 --> 00:02:47,543
Compliment accepted.
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00:02:58,251 --> 00:02:59,501
Now, listen, you nincompoops,
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00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:03,877
these pies are for some
very important clients.
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00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:05,793
Nothing should happen
to these pies, got that?
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00:03:05,835 --> 00:03:07,127
Sure thing, boss.
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00:03:12,045 --> 00:03:14,323
Well, nice going, you knucklehead.
Now we gotta wash them.
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00:03:16,252 --> 00:03:17,251
Wanna give me a hand?
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00:03:18,503 --> 00:03:20,086
Bravo, bravo.
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00:03:21,961 --> 00:03:23,210
So, we got a wise guy, huh?
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00:03:50,546 --> 00:03:53,463
Oh, yeah? Take this.
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00:03:53,505 --> 00:03:54,838
How's it going with those...
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00:04:00,505 --> 00:04:01,588
Pies?
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00:04:08,755 --> 00:04:11,173
Ugh. The Three Stooges
have such bad hair.
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00:04:13,048 --> 00:04:14,673
You know, I wish I can
go back in time
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00:04:14,715 --> 00:04:15,882
for just 10 minutes
82
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,173
and hand out combs and brushes.
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00:04:18,297 --> 00:04:20,255
Guys, can we focus here?
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00:04:20,297 --> 00:04:22,422
I gotta figure out
if I'm the stooge or not.
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00:04:22,464 --> 00:04:23,524
Well, why don't you just, like,
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00:04:23,548 --> 00:04:25,215
ask your captain or something?
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00:04:25,256 --> 00:04:27,882
He won't tell me.
That's the whole point!
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00:04:30,007 --> 00:04:31,590
I gotta get a look at my file,
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00:04:31,632 --> 00:04:33,590
which means I gotta break
into the Police Academy.
90
00:04:36,632 --> 00:04:39,382
Okay. You see how you took
something that made sense
91
00:04:39,423 --> 00:04:40,422
and then made it weird?
92
00:04:41,757 --> 00:04:42,841
That's part of the problem.
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00:04:44,299 --> 00:04:45,693
That's what I like
about you, Kelso.
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00:04:45,716 --> 00:04:47,115
You can make a mess
out of anything.
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00:04:47,717 --> 00:04:48,758
I'm in.
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00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,466
Yeah, well, not me.
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00:04:52,508 --> 00:04:54,508
Breaking into a place
where they train people
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00:04:54,550 --> 00:04:56,388
to shoot you if you break
into a place, it's...
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00:04:57,967 --> 00:05:00,092
Come on, Eric. We're a team.
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00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:02,009
Yeah, Michael's the looks,
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00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:04,718
Steven's the brain and you,
102
00:05:04,759 --> 00:05:05,967
your house has food.
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00:05:08,010 --> 00:05:09,509
Hey, remember when we shoplifted
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00:05:09,551 --> 00:05:10,801
those baseball cards?
105
00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:13,343
We were 12 years old,
106
00:05:13,384 --> 00:05:15,759
and I didn't shoplift anything.
107
00:05:15,801 --> 00:05:17,679
That's right. You went home
and told your mommy.
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00:05:19,801 --> 00:05:22,218
You mama's boy.
109
00:05:22,259 --> 00:05:24,218
Well, did you want that
on your permanent record?
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00:05:25,552 --> 00:05:27,969
Yeah, I didn't think so, mister.
111
00:05:30,178 --> 00:05:31,536
Oh, God,
I am a mama's boy. I'm in.
112
00:05:36,678 --> 00:05:41,218
Now, the secret to really good
fudge is a tiny bit of Kahlua.
113
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,198
You must make a lot of fudge,
'cause the bottle's almost empty.
114
00:05:50,594 --> 00:05:54,637
No. Well, it's a tiny bit
of Kahlua for the fudge,
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00:05:54,679 --> 00:05:56,012
a tiny bit for the chef.
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00:05:59,637 --> 00:06:01,219
That's how you make cooking fun.
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00:06:03,220 --> 00:06:04,846
Apparently, it also works
for sewing
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00:06:04,888 --> 00:06:08,262
and laundry and sitting
around watching TV.
119
00:06:12,013 --> 00:06:14,096
Okay, the INS called.
120
00:06:14,138 --> 00:06:15,596
I have to go in
for a final review
121
00:06:15,638 --> 00:06:17,138
before I can pick up
my green card.
122
00:06:17,180 --> 00:06:19,555
I bet they give you a test
on US history.
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00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:22,263
See, America is strict
about who we let in here,
124
00:06:22,305 --> 00:06:25,514
'cause we have stuff
that people wanna steal.
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00:06:25,556 --> 00:06:28,221
Unlike your lesser countries
like Canada and France.
126
00:06:35,430 --> 00:06:38,764
See, this is when a bobby pin
comes in handy.
127
00:06:40,681 --> 00:06:42,973
Why do you have a bobby pin?
128
00:06:43,015 --> 00:06:48,974
I'm training my hair, okay?
I want more wave, less fluff.
129
00:06:49,016 --> 00:06:52,431
Guys, this is serious. Let's just
find my file and get out of here.
130
00:06:52,473 --> 00:06:54,307
Hey, what's in here?
131
00:06:54,348 --> 00:06:55,724
Oh, it's the canine
training room.
132
00:06:55,765 --> 00:06:57,183
It's where they keep
all the samples
133
00:06:57,223 --> 00:06:58,901
to teach the police dogs
what to sniff for.
134
00:07:04,058 --> 00:07:08,850
Oh, man, these samples are
way better than our samples.
135
00:07:08,892 --> 00:07:11,100
Did you see how quickly
I sniffed them out?
136
00:07:11,142 --> 00:07:12,474
I could so be a police dog.
137
00:07:14,850 --> 00:07:17,766
Cool, training collar.
138
00:07:17,808 --> 00:07:20,076
You know, I still don't get how
they could think I'm the stooge.
139
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:21,934
I'm, like,
so on top of everything.
140
00:07:21,976 --> 00:07:23,225
What's this thing do?
141
00:07:24,893 --> 00:07:26,060
Give me that, Kelso.
142
00:07:27,226 --> 00:07:28,351
Gonna hurt yourself.
143
00:07:32,226 --> 00:07:34,226
Hyde, that really hurts.
144
00:07:35,267 --> 00:07:36,309
Okay, do it one more time.
145
00:07:47,435 --> 00:07:52,019
Okay, so, this is George
Washington, the father of our country.
146
00:07:52,061 --> 00:07:54,602
Well, George and I
have one thing in common.
147
00:07:54,644 --> 00:07:56,268
We both look good
in a powder white wig.
148
00:08:01,352 --> 00:08:05,478
Okay, so Fez, the Statue of
Liberty was a gift from the French.
149
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,395
The French?
I didn't know that.
150
00:08:09,103 --> 00:08:10,353
You didn't know that?
151
00:08:10,395 --> 00:08:12,228
I really don't think
it's common knowledge.
152
00:08:14,103 --> 00:08:16,812
Okay, I painted my nails through
two semesters of American history
153
00:08:16,854 --> 00:08:17,937
and even I knew that.
154
00:08:19,729 --> 00:08:22,229
Well, don't I feel like the
hillbilly who wandered into town.
155
00:08:23,896 --> 00:08:25,437
Well, it's no big deal,
Mrs. Forman.
156
00:08:25,479 --> 00:08:29,604
Oh, I see. It's no big deal for you
smart people who know everything,
157
00:08:29,646 --> 00:08:32,813
but for us hillbillies, well, we're
lucky if we know how to tie our shoes
158
00:08:32,855 --> 00:08:33,938
and flush the toilet.
159
00:08:35,521 --> 00:08:38,230
Okay, Mrs. Forman,
please don't get upset.
160
00:08:38,271 --> 00:08:41,105
Okay, here,
drink some more fudge.
161
00:08:46,397 --> 00:08:49,438
Okay, so...
162
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:53,480
- The constitution
was ratified...
- Oh, I know this. 1776.
163
00:08:54,939 --> 00:08:57,272
Oh, you're thinking of the
Declaration of Independence.
164
00:08:57,314 --> 00:09:00,106
- See, the constitution was...
- I know what
the constitution is.
165
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:02,606
- Can you make fudge?
- What?
166
00:09:02,648 --> 00:09:03,815
Then can it.
167
00:09:06,149 --> 00:09:08,940
Okay, what if they ask me about
current events? Tell me about Vietnam.
168
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:12,191
Okay, so Vietnam was an
illegal war, which we lost.
169
00:09:12,232 --> 00:09:14,357
What the hell
are you teaching him?
170
00:09:15,815 --> 00:09:18,607
You come with me.
171
00:09:20,399 --> 00:09:22,816
I'll teach you the real
American history.
172
00:09:22,858 --> 00:09:25,900
First of all, we didn't
lose the war. It was a tie.
173
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:31,983
Besides, they're grateful.
They have McDonald's now.
174
00:09:35,859 --> 00:09:39,233
Here's my file. It doesn't
say stooge anywhere.
175
00:09:42,234 --> 00:09:44,026
Good picture,
but that's no shocker.
176
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,234
But this is.
177
00:09:46,275 --> 00:09:47,274
Ah!
178
00:09:50,109 --> 00:09:51,335
I think the batteries
are starting to go.
179
00:09:51,359 --> 00:09:52,518
That one didn't hurt as much.
180
00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:55,818
You better let me
hold onto this file.
181
00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:59,235
I won't leave any fingerprints
thanks to my cool new black gloves.
182
00:10:01,609 --> 00:10:03,194
Man, if only these shot webs.
183
00:10:06,443 --> 00:10:08,027
Aren't those
your mom's Isotoners?
184
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:14,028
All right, guys, I gotta figure
out if I'm in trouble or not.
185
00:10:16,861 --> 00:10:18,236
What the hell
is going on in here?
186
00:10:20,277 --> 00:10:21,755
I'm gonna go with
"you're in trouble".
187
00:10:34,737 --> 00:10:36,945
Cadet Kelso, do you know
what the penalty is
188
00:10:36,987 --> 00:10:38,695
for breaking
into the Academy office?
189
00:10:38,737 --> 00:10:41,612
No, sir, Officer Kennedy, sir.
190
00:10:41,654 --> 00:10:44,529
There are none, because
nobody's been stupid enough to do it!
191
00:10:47,030 --> 00:10:49,404
All right, you're first
in your class.
192
00:10:53,238 --> 00:10:56,155
Is that a dog training collar
around your neck?
193
00:11:00,030 --> 00:11:01,309
You're probably gonna want this.
194
00:11:03,321 --> 00:11:04,405
It's the red button.
195
00:11:06,530 --> 00:11:08,198
Look, sir,
I think you should know
196
00:11:08,239 --> 00:11:09,715
that at the last police
charity auction,
197
00:11:09,739 --> 00:11:11,840
my family bought one of your
Christmas tree ornaments,
198
00:11:11,864 --> 00:11:13,739
Santa driving a cop car.
199
00:11:13,780 --> 00:11:17,614
Funniest thing
on the tree it was.
200
00:11:17,656 --> 00:11:20,238
Anyway, please don't call
my mom and dad. Thanks.
201
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:24,489
- What's your name?
- They call me Fez.
202
00:11:28,448 --> 00:11:30,199
Officer Kennedy, sir,
203
00:11:30,239 --> 00:11:32,741
I broke in to find out if I
was the stooge or not, sir.
204
00:11:34,074 --> 00:11:36,199
You're not the stooge.
Johnson's the stooge.
205
00:11:36,741 --> 00:11:37,991
Yes.
206
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,075
But you're the stooge now.
207
00:11:44,116 --> 00:11:48,616
Okay, I think that we've
been reviewing long enough.
208
00:11:48,658 --> 00:11:51,255
Let's see what you've learnt.
I'll start you off with an easy one.
209
00:11:52,449 --> 00:11:54,783
- Where do you live?
- Amedica.
210
00:11:56,575 --> 00:11:59,867
It's pronounced America.
211
00:11:59,909 --> 00:12:01,159
That's what I said, Amedica.
212
00:12:02,992 --> 00:12:06,409
- America.
- Amedica.
213
00:12:08,992 --> 00:12:11,077
Why do we celebrate
the Fourth of July?
214
00:12:11,117 --> 00:12:12,492
Because we are damn glad
not to be
215
00:12:12,534 --> 00:12:14,617
a bunch of British,
tea-drinking nancy pants.
216
00:12:17,659 --> 00:12:19,410
Nobody's gonna argue
with that answer.
217
00:12:22,535 --> 00:12:25,035
America!
218
00:12:26,035 --> 00:12:28,284
Amedica!
219
00:12:30,702 --> 00:12:33,119
- America!
- Amedica!
220
00:12:36,203 --> 00:12:38,911
What was President
Dwight D. Eisenhower's
221
00:12:38,952 --> 00:12:40,411
greatest achievement?
222
00:12:40,452 --> 00:12:42,452
He led the Allies to victory
in World War II
223
00:12:42,494 --> 00:12:44,179
and sent those jackbooted
Nazi bastards home
224
00:12:44,203 --> 00:12:45,536
to cry in their sauerkraut.
225
00:12:48,578 --> 00:12:50,244
I didn't understand
a word you said,
226
00:12:51,995 --> 00:12:54,745
but I heard "Nazi bastards",
and that's good enough for me.
227
00:12:58,787 --> 00:13:02,244
- America!
- Amedica!
228
00:13:04,453 --> 00:13:08,205
Look, there is no damn "D"
in America.
229
00:13:11,954 --> 00:13:14,580
- Say my son's name.
- Eric.
230
00:13:20,122 --> 00:13:21,246
Great.
231
00:13:22,413 --> 00:13:25,414
Now, America.
232
00:13:26,122 --> 00:13:27,914
Amedica.
233
00:13:30,246 --> 00:13:34,122
Just forget it.
Just say, United States.
234
00:13:34,164 --> 00:13:37,246
United States of Amedica.
235
00:13:42,581 --> 00:13:45,123
Guys, I'm really screwed down
at the Police Academy.
236
00:13:45,165 --> 00:13:48,165
Officer Kennedy told me he's
looking for any reason to kick me out.
237
00:13:48,207 --> 00:13:50,749
Okay, but did he say anything
about calling my parents?
238
00:13:53,665 --> 00:13:58,290
I was so freaked out that I
completely blew this exam this morning.
239
00:13:58,332 --> 00:14:00,416
I'm sure you did fine.
240
00:14:00,457 --> 00:14:05,332
Roy, the first question was,
"Stop, in the name of the blank."
241
00:14:05,374 --> 00:14:07,166
And I wrote "Love".
242
00:14:11,209 --> 00:14:13,333
I don't care
what they say, Kelso.
243
00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:15,791
Love is always the right answer.
244
00:14:17,708 --> 00:14:19,084
So you screwed up a test, man.
245
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:20,417
You know what you have to do.
246
00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:22,958
Yeah, yeah.
Study more next time.
247
00:14:23,792 --> 00:14:24,834
What are you? Forman?
248
00:14:26,417 --> 00:14:28,417
You gotta break in there
and change the answers.
249
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:33,085
I can't break in there again.
250
00:14:33,126 --> 00:14:34,876
That's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
251
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,501
That's why they'll never
expect it, man.
252
00:14:38,543 --> 00:14:41,001
Look, they don't know
you've got a friend like me
253
00:14:41,043 --> 00:14:43,793
to talk you into doing something
so fundamentally moronic.
254
00:14:45,668 --> 00:14:46,668
That's true.
255
00:14:48,377 --> 00:14:52,335
You know what? I'm in, too.
I know it's dangerous,
256
00:14:52,377 --> 00:14:54,055
but I just really like
wearing that outfit.
257
00:14:56,627 --> 00:14:59,377
Trust me, it'll work. How do
you think I got through chemistry?
258
00:14:59,419 --> 00:15:01,627
Hey, you told me
you blackmailed the teacher
259
00:15:01,669 --> 00:15:03,753
because you caught him
smoking up behind the gym.
260
00:15:05,711 --> 00:15:09,253
Oh, yeah. How do you think
I got through biology?
261
00:15:18,336 --> 00:15:21,046
Fez, relax.
You're gonna pass the test.
262
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,879
No, this could be
my last day in the country.
263
00:15:24,129 --> 00:15:25,288
We should probably make love.
264
00:15:27,171 --> 00:15:28,504
What?
265
00:15:28,546 --> 00:15:30,344
Don't worry. It'll be over
before you know it.
266
00:15:32,088 --> 00:15:37,337
So, on the way back from the
bathroom, I got proposed to three times.
267
00:15:37,379 --> 00:15:39,005
I must look
more gorgeous than usual.
268
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,356
Jackie, the only reason
they wanna marry you
269
00:15:42,380 --> 00:15:43,738
is so they can stay
in the country.
270
00:15:44,255 --> 00:15:45,255
Jealous.
271
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:50,255
Okay, here I go.
272
00:15:54,215 --> 00:15:56,381
I'm here for my test.
Where do I sign in?
273
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:58,506
Or should I say, "Where
do I put my John Hancock?"
274
00:16:02,673 --> 00:16:04,965
Actually, I would sign my name.
275
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:06,757
Just the common expression.
276
00:16:06,798 --> 00:16:09,395
I know so much history, I just
drop it into everyday conversation.
277
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,298
There is no test.
278
00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:14,631
I just need to see that you
are who you say you are
279
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:17,840
and that you're in the country to
be with your wife, Laurie Forman.
280
00:16:17,882 --> 00:16:20,549
No test? So, that's it?
281
00:16:20,591 --> 00:16:22,358
I'm truly really a citizen
of this great country?
282
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,507
Just as soon
as I stamp this paper.
283
00:16:24,549 --> 00:16:27,591
Oh, this is great. You
and I should go celebrate.
284
00:16:27,632 --> 00:16:29,734
Let's start off with a couple
of drinks and some lovemaking
285
00:16:29,758 --> 00:16:31,037
and see where it goes
from there.
286
00:16:33,550 --> 00:16:35,841
I don't date married men.
287
00:16:35,883 --> 00:16:37,818
Well, let's just say that as
soon as I get my green card,
288
00:16:37,842 --> 00:16:39,133
I will be single.
289
00:16:40,341 --> 00:16:42,258
Then you can explore
the country of Fez.
290
00:16:44,967 --> 00:16:48,467
Hold on, are you telling me
your marriage is a sham?
291
00:16:48,509 --> 00:16:50,842
I'm telling you your eyes are
like amber waves of green.
292
00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:55,801
You do realize
I haven't stamped this yet?
293
00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:00,010
Actually, I had not.
294
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,968
- Oh, he looks happy.
- Yeah, I bet he's doing great.
295
00:17:06,010 --> 00:17:07,052
Yeah.
296
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:11,510
- Shouldn't you stamp
my paper now?
- I don't think so.
297
00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:12,719
- In a minute?
- Nope.
298
00:17:12,761 --> 00:17:14,011
- After lunch?
- Uh-uh.
299
00:17:15,343 --> 00:17:16,552
Would you like me to stamp it?
300
00:17:19,635 --> 00:17:21,928
Red, do you think I'm smart?
301
00:17:21,969 --> 00:17:24,207
Oh, is that what we're gonna
do today? We're gonna fight?
302
00:17:28,011 --> 00:17:30,136
Great news, I got my green card.
303
00:17:30,178 --> 00:17:32,261
I am now, officially,
a Yankee Doodle Dandy.
304
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:38,221
- So, you passed the test, huh?
- Oh, there was no test.
305
00:17:38,262 --> 00:17:41,512
No test? Oh, we're just
as bad as Canada.
306
00:17:43,887 --> 00:17:45,888
So, what happened?
307
00:17:45,930 --> 00:17:48,647
Well, you know how sometimes I
come on a little strong to the ladies?
308
00:17:50,221 --> 00:17:51,554
You can be a little handsy.
309
00:17:53,097 --> 00:17:55,013
It was touch and go for a while,
310
00:17:55,055 --> 00:17:57,930
but, eventually, I won the
INS lady over with my charm.
311
00:17:57,971 --> 00:18:00,597
More like you cried until she
felt bad and stamped your papers.
312
00:18:02,805 --> 00:18:05,222
Hey, tomato, potato,
it's all the same thing.
313
00:18:07,181 --> 00:18:09,555
Bottom line is, I have chadisma.
314
00:18:10,471 --> 00:18:12,805
- Charisma.
- Yes, chadisma.
315
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:19,598
Man, I love these gloves.
316
00:18:20,598 --> 00:18:23,181
I wish there was some diamond
317
00:18:23,223 --> 00:18:24,848
protected by lasers
I could steal.
318
00:18:26,389 --> 00:18:28,057
Okay, I'm almost done.
319
00:18:28,099 --> 00:18:29,777
I just gotta think
of one more misdemeanor.
320
00:18:30,973 --> 00:18:33,432
Oh, breaking into
the Police Academy.
321
00:18:35,015 --> 00:18:36,174
All right, come on. Let's go.
322
00:18:41,016 --> 00:18:43,266
How do you keep finding us?
323
00:18:44,974 --> 00:18:47,058
I'm wearing all black.
324
00:18:49,141 --> 00:18:51,516
I sleep right next door.
325
00:18:51,558 --> 00:18:52,910
What's the problem?
Trouble with the wife?
326
00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:54,266
Shut up.
327
00:18:55,391 --> 00:18:56,975
That's it, you're out of here!
328
00:18:57,850 --> 00:19:00,184
Wait, I can explain.
329
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:02,767
Okay, this whole thing started
because I just...
330
00:19:04,350 --> 00:19:07,267
I can't be the stooge, okay?
331
00:19:07,308 --> 00:19:10,267
I'm gonna be a dad soon, and
no kid is gonna look up to his dad
332
00:19:10,308 --> 00:19:11,768
if his dad is the stooge.
333
00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:15,227
Well, unless the kid's a stooge,
334
00:19:15,267 --> 00:19:16,866
in which case I wouldn't
love him anyway.
335
00:19:20,018 --> 00:19:21,268
You're gonna be a father?
336
00:19:22,393 --> 00:19:23,935
Who would breed with you?
337
00:19:26,268 --> 00:19:27,707
One night stand,
both a little drunk.
338
00:19:29,977 --> 00:19:32,769
Look, I know I messed up,
339
00:19:32,810 --> 00:19:36,061
but can't you just maybe...
340
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:38,561
Give me one more chance.
341
00:19:39,769 --> 00:19:42,019
All right. Since you're
gonna be a father,
342
00:19:42,061 --> 00:19:43,853
I'm gonna let what
happened here slide.
343
00:19:43,895 --> 00:19:45,394
But just so
you don't do this again,
344
00:19:45,436 --> 00:19:47,269
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.
345
00:19:48,895 --> 00:19:50,229
There is no stooge.
346
00:19:51,561 --> 00:19:53,020
What?
347
00:19:53,062 --> 00:19:56,353
That's just a rumor we started
to get the cadets to work harder.
348
00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:59,395
Also, there's no alligator
in the lake.
349
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:05,938
Wait. Wait, wait.
If there's no stooge,
350
00:20:05,979 --> 00:20:07,478
then how come our friend Roy
351
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,663
told us he got kicked out of
the Academy for being a stooge?
352
00:20:09,687 --> 00:20:11,021
Roy Keen?
353
00:20:12,271 --> 00:20:14,730
He didn't get kicked out
for being a stooge.
354
00:20:14,772 --> 00:20:16,650
He got kicked out
for shooting the police horse.
355
00:20:18,396 --> 00:20:22,521
Look, Cadet, all you have to
do is work hard and you'll be fine.
356
00:20:22,563 --> 00:20:24,401
Now you clean up this mess
and get out of here.
357
00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:34,397
Well, I think we all learned
an important lesson here.
358
00:20:36,522 --> 00:20:38,940
If you're in trouble and your
back's up against the wall,
359
00:20:38,981 --> 00:20:40,140
just tell them you got a kid.
360
00:20:44,898 --> 00:20:47,065
People are suckers for a baby.
361
00:20:48,774 --> 00:20:50,356
That is a valuable lesson.
362
00:20:50,398 --> 00:20:54,356
I think we should all reflect on
that in the canine training room.
363
00:20:56,191 --> 00:20:57,709
- I call shock collar.
- I call button.
364
00:21:03,191 --> 00:21:05,691
Okay, Miss Smarty Pants,
how about...
365
00:21:06,191 --> 00:21:07,649
Oh.
366
00:21:07,691 --> 00:21:09,399
Where was the famous tea party?
367
00:21:09,441 --> 00:21:10,983
- Boston.
- Nope.
368
00:21:12,733 --> 00:21:14,566
- What?
- Got it wrong. Sorry.
369
00:21:16,234 --> 00:21:19,025
It's the Boston Tea Party.
370
00:21:19,067 --> 00:21:22,567
No, it says right here,
it's the Boston Tea Party.
371
00:21:24,525 --> 00:21:25,524
Oh.
372
00:21:27,984 --> 00:21:29,650
I'm gonna have
a Long Island tea party.
373
00:21:29,674 --> 00:21:31,672
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