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http
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http:
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http:/
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http://
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http://h
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http://hi
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http://hiq
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http://hiqv
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http://hiqve
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http://hiqve.
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http://hiqve.c
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http://hiqve.co
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http://hiqve.com
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http://hiqve.com/
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http://hiqve.com/
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Oh, hey, Donna,
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00:00:09,132 --> 00:00:11,591
about this little
celibacy kick we're on,
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00:00:11,633 --> 00:00:15,051
does that cover quickies
because I can be really quick.
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00:00:15,093 --> 00:00:17,511
Well, that's why I
call you The Flash.
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00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,762
That's why you
call me The Flash?
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00:00:23,512 --> 00:00:26,723
I thought it was because I
was flashy, like an entertainer.
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00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:31,392
Come on, one little one.
You can even watch TV.
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00:00:31,434 --> 00:00:34,602
Eric, we agreed to hold off
until the wedding. It's cleansing.
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00:00:34,644 --> 00:00:36,479
No, Donna, giving up
cigarettes is cleansing,
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00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:40,230
giving up sex is
reckless and irresponsible
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00:00:40,272 --> 00:00:43,606
and I think it
might cause cancer.
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00:00:43,648 --> 00:00:46,066
Hey, Jackie,
I know since you moved in
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00:00:46,108 --> 00:00:49,525
we agreed to give each other
messages as soon as possible
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00:00:49,567 --> 00:00:53,778
and in the spirit of that,
your mom called last Tuesday.
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00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:56,529
But, what? No, she
couldn't call, she's in Mexico.
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00:00:56,570 --> 00:00:58,530
They don't have phones there.
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00:00:59,072 --> 00:01:00,906
Yeah, they do.
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00:01:00,948 --> 00:01:02,949
Why would we give them phones?
37
00:01:05,117 --> 00:01:06,956
My dad tried to get back
in touch with me once.
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00:01:06,993 --> 00:01:10,328
Instead of calling, he just
left a six-pack in my car.
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00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:14,288
- How did you know it was him?
- He was passed
out on the hood.
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00:01:14,330 --> 00:01:16,706
Well, I don't have anything
to say to my mom.
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00:01:16,747 --> 00:01:19,290
She ditched me three months
ago and that's all I need to know.
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00:01:19,332 --> 00:01:24,834
Man, that's really sad. It's like
a mother and daughter divided.
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00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:28,086
So, hey, what about
some second base action?
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00:01:28,128 --> 00:01:31,338
What did I tell you about
talking about the bases, Flash?
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00:01:33,588 --> 00:01:35,756
- Donna?
- He doesn't know why.
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00:01:37,508 --> 00:01:40,967
Jackie, you should cut your mom
a break. I think she's charming.
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00:01:41,009 --> 00:01:43,843
If she calls again, just tell
her I don't wanna see her.
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00:01:43,885 --> 00:01:47,803
Well, that's too bad, 'cause I
just picked her up from the airport.
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00:01:49,180 --> 00:01:51,223
And here I am.
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00:01:52,848 --> 00:01:56,058
- Mom!
- I love making an entrance.
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00:01:56,099 --> 00:02:00,101
- Be a dear and go
watch my luggage.
- Really? Thanks.
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00:02:00,143 --> 00:02:01,310
What are you doing here?
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00:02:01,352 --> 00:02:03,978
Who cares? Welcome to
my driveway, pretty lady.
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00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,355
I'm Eric Forman, remember me?
Big fan.
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00:02:07,397 --> 00:02:11,815
Oh, right. My toy poodle, Snowball,
almost killed you when you were six.
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00:02:11,857 --> 00:02:14,858
I was 13, but, yeah.
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00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:18,360
Ms. Burkhart, Steven Hyde,
nice to see you again.
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00:02:18,402 --> 00:02:21,445
Just thought I'd let you know that
Jackie and I are kind of dating now.
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00:02:21,487 --> 00:02:23,279
Didn't you rob our house?
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00:02:24,779 --> 00:02:27,281
Well, I was in there
a few times at night,
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00:02:27,323 --> 00:02:29,366
but I never took anything.
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00:02:29,408 --> 00:02:31,575
Ms. Burkhart!
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00:02:33,159 --> 00:02:36,660
I thought I saw gorgeous
flowing hair on bronze shoulders.
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00:02:36,702 --> 00:02:39,745
And I wasn't near a mirror,
so I knew it had to be you.
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00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:43,788
And I just run where Kelso runs.
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00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,666
Mom, why are you back?
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00:02:48,708 --> 00:02:51,292
It got rainy in Cabo,
so I hopped on a plane.
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00:02:51,334 --> 00:02:53,168
I wish I was a plane.
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00:02:57,295 --> 00:02:58,962
Then she could hop on me.
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00:03:02,173 --> 00:03:05,383
- And by hop on me...
- Yeah, yeah. We got it, Fez.
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00:03:05,425 --> 00:03:08,591
Wait,
let me guess, "rainy in Cabo"
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00:03:08,633 --> 00:03:12,177
is Spanish for "my rich pilot
boyfriend ran out of money."
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00:03:12,219 --> 00:03:15,594
Don't be silly.
I don't know any Spanish.
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00:03:15,636 --> 00:03:18,222
Except for
gracias and mas tequila.
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00:03:19,889 --> 00:03:22,598
- I just missed you.
- Well, I didn't miss you.
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00:03:25,392 --> 00:03:28,185
And there's the stomp and cry.
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00:03:28,227 --> 00:03:31,353
See you guys tomorrow.
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00:03:31,395 --> 00:03:35,355
Ms. Burkhart, I know you and Jackie
are working through some difficult stuff,
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00:03:35,397 --> 00:03:38,190
but may I just say, nice tan.
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00:03:39,857 --> 00:03:42,608
Yeah, it really
makes everything pop.
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00:03:42,649 --> 00:03:44,817
Yeah, I'm popping
a little right now.
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00:03:49,779 --> 00:03:51,613
♪ Hanging out
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00:03:53,364 --> 00:03:55,490
♪ Down the street
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00:03:56,907 --> 00:03:58,866
♪ The same old thing
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00:04:00,492 --> 00:04:02,659
♪ We did last week
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00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,787
♪ Not a thing to do
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♪ But talk to you
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♪ We're all all right
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00:04:13,582 --> 00:04:16,041
♪ We're all all right ♪
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00:04:16,083 --> 00:04:17,833
Hello, Wisconsin!
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00:04:27,171 --> 00:04:29,256
Why don't we ever have tea?
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00:04:29,298 --> 00:04:34,007
Well, this sounds like the
beginning of a wonderful argument.
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00:04:34,049 --> 00:04:37,760
Like the stuffing
versus mashed potatoes fight.
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00:04:37,801 --> 00:04:41,677
That turned into, "Why don't
I ever take you on vacation?"
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00:04:41,719 --> 00:04:45,347
- Why don't you ever
take me on vacation?
- Oh, crap.
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00:04:45,389 --> 00:04:48,265
Ugh! Mr. and Mrs. Forman,
I don't know what to do.
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00:04:48,307 --> 00:04:50,433
Oh!
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00:04:50,475 --> 00:04:52,642
Not this again.
Kitty, make it stop.
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00:04:53,850 --> 00:04:55,768
Now, be nice, Red.
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00:04:55,810 --> 00:04:57,978
Her mom finally
came home from her
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00:04:58,019 --> 00:05:01,646
cultural tour of Mexico's
many fine bars and cantinas.
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00:05:04,022 --> 00:05:07,023
Why did she have to go all the
way to Mexico to drink all day?
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00:05:07,065 --> 00:05:10,400
Why couldn't she be a good mom
and just do it at home like you do?
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00:05:12,651 --> 00:05:14,986
Well, that's a good question.
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00:05:15,027 --> 00:05:17,695
And you need to sit down
and talk to her about it.
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00:05:17,737 --> 00:05:20,029
You can do it here, with tea.
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00:05:20,947 --> 00:05:25,032
- We'll have tea.
- No.
108
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:27,533
Why does this
always happen here?
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00:05:27,575 --> 00:05:31,035
We're in a recession, there
are vacant lots all over the place.
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00:05:31,077 --> 00:05:33,786
Well, you can go
stand in a vacant lot.
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00:05:33,828 --> 00:05:37,413
We're having a tea party,
with crumpets.
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00:05:37,455 --> 00:05:41,415
I'll find out what they are
and we will have them.
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00:05:41,457 --> 00:05:45,334
Okay, but I don't know if I
can look my mom in the eye.
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00:05:45,375 --> 00:05:47,478
I mean, I never thought I'd
say this, but there comes a point
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when a person is too tan.
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00:05:54,546 --> 00:05:57,425
Wow, check out this new police academy
they're sending me to in Waukegan.
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00:05:57,465 --> 00:05:59,007
It's got its own pool.
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00:05:59,048 --> 00:06:00,942
Oh, man, if I had known
it was gonna be this nice,
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00:06:00,966 --> 00:06:04,259
I'd have burned down
the old one a lot sooner.
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00:06:04,301 --> 00:06:06,427
Kelso,
I'm really going to miss you.
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00:06:06,469 --> 00:06:10,053
Who's gonna take my
lunch money and tease me
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00:06:10,095 --> 00:06:12,679
and pull down my
pants in front of girls?
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00:06:13,805 --> 00:06:16,849
I'll be taking over.
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00:06:16,890 --> 00:06:19,141
Hey, you're still gonna
drive me up there, right?
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00:06:19,183 --> 00:06:21,643
Oh, man. Well, Jackie has got
this heavy thing with her mom,
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00:06:21,683 --> 00:06:24,060
I know she's gonna
wanna talk about it a lot.
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00:06:24,102 --> 00:06:26,312
So, yeah, I'll drive you.
128
00:06:26,354 --> 00:06:29,271
Hey, since Donna cut me off
129
00:06:29,313 --> 00:06:31,582
I took the money that I would have
spent on a romantic dinner for two
130
00:06:31,606 --> 00:06:34,399
and bought me
a gross of bottle rockets.
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00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,567
Take that, Pinciotti.
132
00:06:37,609 --> 00:06:40,610
Bottle rockets, all right.
Fez, start running.
133
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,862
No, wait, I got a better idea.
134
00:06:44,903 --> 00:06:47,280
After we drop him off, let's
stop off at the dairy farm,
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00:06:47,322 --> 00:06:49,448
scare the hell out of some cows.
136
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:52,533
Ooh, I love cows.
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00:06:52,574 --> 00:06:55,117
They're the one animal
I can run faster than.
138
00:06:56,201 --> 00:06:58,369
No, no, let's go
before you drop me off.
139
00:06:58,410 --> 00:07:01,662
That big spotty one
needs an attitude adjustment.
140
00:07:01,702 --> 00:07:03,871
Hell,
man, it's gotta be at night.
141
00:07:03,912 --> 00:07:06,705
Look, I've launched so much
stuff at those cows during the day,
142
00:07:06,747 --> 00:07:08,707
I swear they recognize my car.
143
00:07:09,957 --> 00:07:12,875
I can't believe you guys
are going without me.
144
00:07:12,916 --> 00:07:16,002
Those cows will never know
what hit them.
145
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:18,295
And even after it hits them,
146
00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:19,962
they still won't know.
147
00:07:22,547 --> 00:07:24,048
Because they're cows.
148
00:07:31,009 --> 00:07:34,719
Okay, here. Red. Try this tea.
149
00:07:36,136 --> 00:07:38,346
It'll make you feel British.
150
00:07:38,388 --> 00:07:40,389
Mum's the word, Governor.
151
00:07:42,223 --> 00:07:45,599
Kitty, this is America. We
bomb countries that drink tea.
152
00:07:47,225 --> 00:07:49,476
Well, that's because coffee
keeps us awake all night,
153
00:07:49,518 --> 00:07:52,852
and we wake up in such a bad
mood, we have to bomb someone.
154
00:07:54,062 --> 00:07:56,188
Oh, oh!
I bet that's Jackie's mom.
155
00:07:56,230 --> 00:07:58,813
I still don't think we
should get involved in this.
156
00:07:58,855 --> 00:08:01,065
As far as I'm concerned,
this is between Jackie
157
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:03,233
and her ditsy lush of a mom.
158
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,734
Hi, you must be Red.
I'm Pam Burkhart.
159
00:08:07,860 --> 00:08:09,570
It's Pam.
160
00:08:11,195 --> 00:08:13,071
You made tea.
161
00:08:13,112 --> 00:08:16,155
- Oh, I love tea.
- So do I.
162
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:21,575
Wipe your chin, honey,
you got some drool.
163
00:08:21,616 --> 00:08:23,243
Thank you both so
much for doing this.
164
00:08:23,284 --> 00:08:24,969
You know, when you are
as beautiful as I am,
165
00:08:24,993 --> 00:08:26,952
it's hard to know
who your real friends are.
166
00:08:26,994 --> 00:08:31,204
I'm sorry that you
have to go through that.
167
00:08:31,246 --> 00:08:34,331
I'm just hoping that Jackie and
I figure out a way to get along.
168
00:08:34,373 --> 00:08:38,500
Well, you've got your low-cut,
getting-along sweater on, so...
169
00:08:38,542 --> 00:08:41,000
I bet that'll help.
170
00:08:42,710 --> 00:08:44,420
Hi, honey.
171
00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:47,295
Hi, and by "hi" I mean "not hi,"
172
00:08:47,337 --> 00:08:49,963
because I'm not talking to you,
even though I'm talking now.
173
00:08:50,005 --> 00:08:53,090
So I'm just gonna stop
talking, starting now.
174
00:08:53,131 --> 00:08:54,840
Dang it, starting now.
175
00:08:56,091 --> 00:08:57,342
And now.
176
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,885
This is awkward.
177
00:09:00,927 --> 00:09:04,053
Why don't I tell a story about
something charming I did in Mexico.
178
00:09:04,095 --> 00:09:05,970
I'd love to hear it.
179
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:09,098
Okay, well, there was this
woman on a beach in Cozumel,
180
00:09:09,139 --> 00:09:12,307
and normally I wouldn't talk to
someone who had such bad skin.
181
00:09:12,349 --> 00:09:16,393
But she was selling the
cutest hair clips, so, here.
182
00:09:16,435 --> 00:09:18,078
You know, I'd tell you
this doesn't fix anything,
183
00:09:18,102 --> 00:09:20,562
but I'm not talking to you.
Oh, shoot!
184
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:23,979
Starting now.
185
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:26,189
Yeah, nice try, Mrs. Burkhart.
186
00:09:27,481 --> 00:09:30,191
Damn, these are cute.
187
00:09:30,233 --> 00:09:33,359
Look, Jackie, when your father
got into trouble, I panicked.
188
00:09:33,401 --> 00:09:35,985
But that doesn't mean
I stopped caring about you.
189
00:09:36,027 --> 00:09:39,654
Jackie, if you seriously don't
want these, can I have them?
190
00:09:39,696 --> 00:09:42,113
Mom, a good time
to tell me you cared about me
191
00:09:42,154 --> 00:09:44,114
was the day
Daddy went to prison.
192
00:09:44,155 --> 00:09:48,824
Not two months later in a postcard from
La Cantina Cucaracha in Guadalajara.
193
00:09:48,866 --> 00:09:51,618
Isn't it nice to get postcards?
194
00:09:53,202 --> 00:09:54,703
Okay, fine.
195
00:09:54,745 --> 00:09:57,704
Jackie, look. I know that you've
got hostile feelings towards me,
196
00:09:57,746 --> 00:10:00,706
but I'm your
mother and I love you.
197
00:10:00,748 --> 00:10:03,081
And I promise I'll
never leave you again.
198
00:10:03,123 --> 00:10:04,831
- I believe her.
- Me, too.
199
00:10:14,712 --> 00:10:16,796
Kelso.
200
00:10:16,837 --> 00:10:18,356
You leave for the police
academy tomorrow,
201
00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:19,899
shouldn't you be packing
gasoline and matches
202
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,090
so you can burn
that one down, too?
203
00:10:22,132 --> 00:10:24,425
No, I don't need gasoline
to burn stuff down.
204
00:10:24,467 --> 00:10:29,261
All I need is these two hands
and a lack of adult supervision.
205
00:10:29,303 --> 00:10:33,845
Anyway, I'm not going. I
decided I didn't wanna be a cop.
206
00:10:33,887 --> 00:10:37,598
But, Kelso, I thought you wanted
to impress the mother of your child
207
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,848
and give your
life a purpose and...
208
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:42,434
Pull over girls for
speeding while foxy.
209
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:45,226
No, I got my reasons.
210
00:10:45,268 --> 00:10:48,894
I mean, I don't wanna leave when things
are going so good for me and Brooke.
211
00:10:48,936 --> 00:10:51,854
Plus, blue isn't
a very good color for me.
212
00:10:51,896 --> 00:10:54,981
What, are you crazy? You
take blue to a whole new level.
213
00:10:56,482 --> 00:10:58,399
All right,
let's go blast some cows.
214
00:10:58,441 --> 00:11:01,735
Whoa, all you talk about is being a cop,
you haven't focused on anything this hard
215
00:11:01,777 --> 00:11:04,944
since you thought you heard
your name on Led Zeppelin II.
216
00:11:04,986 --> 00:11:07,613
It's in there.
217
00:11:07,655 --> 00:11:12,114
In Whole Lotta Love he
clearly sings, "Kelso lotta love."
218
00:11:12,156 --> 00:11:14,865
Kelso, I'm gonna make sure
you become a cop.
219
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:17,409
Yeah. We're not gonna let
you throw your life away.
220
00:11:17,450 --> 00:11:19,243
I don't care about that.
221
00:11:19,285 --> 00:11:21,952
Look, I got a few things
pending downtown
222
00:11:21,994 --> 00:11:24,370
and I need
someone on the inside.
223
00:11:30,624 --> 00:11:32,957
Jackie, just go see your mom.
224
00:11:32,999 --> 00:11:36,293
She chose you over golden
sunsets, frozen margaritas...
225
00:11:37,168 --> 00:11:39,544
Man, why aren't we down there?
226
00:11:39,586 --> 00:11:41,629
Donna, you don't get her.
227
00:11:41,671 --> 00:11:43,505
Because you'll never understand
228
00:11:43,546 --> 00:11:47,256
the intoxicating quality of getting
anything you want with your looks.
229
00:11:47,298 --> 00:11:49,840
Look, she's just here till
she finds a new meal ticket.
230
00:11:49,882 --> 00:11:52,091
I don't believe
that for a minute.
231
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:55,718
I think she came back to be with
you, not to find some lonely rich guy.
232
00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:58,595
Your mother is a lovely woman.
233
00:11:58,637 --> 00:12:00,805
Donna, Pam and I are gonna
catch a movie.
234
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,846
It's my first
American date in months.
235
00:12:06,848 --> 00:12:08,891
Your mother is
a gold-digging tramp.
236
00:12:10,434 --> 00:12:13,352
I can't believe my mom is
going out with your Bob of a dad.
237
00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:16,395
What, he's not good enough?
238
00:12:16,437 --> 00:12:17,813
Ah! So you see it, too.
239
00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:22,815
Look, I expect her to go after
a cool rich guy like
240
00:12:22,855 --> 00:12:24,940
Jack Nicholson or a Bee Gee.
241
00:12:24,982 --> 00:12:27,858
Your dad is cheesy
and corny like nachos.
242
00:12:28,984 --> 00:12:30,503
Well, then no wonder
your mom is after him.
243
00:12:30,527 --> 00:12:33,696
- She'll touch
anything from Mexico.
- Oh, hey!
244
00:12:33,737 --> 00:12:37,238
You take that back right now
or I will pull your hair really hard.
245
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,698
Oh, yeah.
246
00:12:40,657 --> 00:12:42,700
Eric, not now.
247
00:12:42,741 --> 00:12:45,677
Look, I'm sorry, Donna, but you cut
me off and I always thought it was lame
248
00:12:45,701 --> 00:12:46,885
when Kelso said that
girl fights were sexy
249
00:12:46,909 --> 00:12:48,428
but now I can see
that he was very right.
250
00:12:48,452 --> 00:12:50,911
So you, hair pull.
You, shirt rip.
251
00:12:52,996 --> 00:12:54,413
You better go talk to your mom.
252
00:12:54,455 --> 00:12:56,913
You better go talk to your dad.
253
00:13:00,749 --> 00:13:02,709
Hmm.
254
00:13:02,750 --> 00:13:05,251
I overplayed my hand
there a little bit.
255
00:13:13,172 --> 00:13:16,674
Hey, come on, buddy.
Time to go to cop school.
256
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:22,385
- I don't believe this.
- I know.
257
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:25,885
King-size pillows in a twin-size
bed, why didn't I think of that?
258
00:13:27,012 --> 00:13:28,680
Man, he just split on us.
259
00:13:34,349 --> 00:13:37,684
Yeah, he's definitely gone.
I guess we just leave then.
260
00:13:43,729 --> 00:13:46,604
That's not fair.
You guys made leaving sounds.
261
00:13:54,274 --> 00:13:57,151
Come on, Kitty, enough
with the silent treatment.
262
00:13:59,152 --> 00:14:02,903
I didn't say that I like tea
because Pam is pretty.
263
00:14:05,197 --> 00:14:10,032
I said that I like tea
because you were kind enough
264
00:14:10,074 --> 00:14:14,618
and courageous
enough to open my eyes
265
00:14:14,660 --> 00:14:18,036
to a whole new
world of hot beverages.
266
00:14:20,037 --> 00:14:24,248
Which is just one of the millions
of things that you have done
267
00:14:24,289 --> 00:14:27,123
to improve my life
over all these years.
268
00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:30,042
So now I'm old.
269
00:14:32,293 --> 00:14:35,420
Mr. Forman, will you please
talk some sense into my dad?
270
00:14:35,461 --> 00:14:38,004
Last night he went on a date
with Jackie's mom.
271
00:14:38,046 --> 00:14:41,923
Oh, you hear that, Red? Looks
like your girlfriend is stepping out.
272
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:46,216
Donna, Pam is just what
I've been looking for.
273
00:14:46,258 --> 00:14:49,594
I've loved pretty women
and I've loved smart women.
274
00:14:49,635 --> 00:14:52,010
And I'm going back to pretty.
275
00:14:52,052 --> 00:14:54,053
Dad, don't you think
it's a little suspicious
276
00:14:54,095 --> 00:14:57,180
that she just got back and
she's already latched on to you?
277
00:14:57,222 --> 00:14:58,972
I'm a very cute man, Donna.
278
00:15:00,557 --> 00:15:04,642
Bob, this is clearly upsetting
Donna. How can you date her?
279
00:15:04,684 --> 00:15:07,852
Yeah, how can you date her?
280
00:15:09,770 --> 00:15:12,687
- What does that mean?
- What?
281
00:15:12,729 --> 00:15:16,647
You emphasized "her" like there's
something special about "her."
282
00:15:16,689 --> 00:15:19,190
I just said what you said.
283
00:15:19,232 --> 00:15:20,524
But you must have missed it,
284
00:15:20,566 --> 00:15:23,610
because I was on my way
outside to mow the lawn.
285
00:15:29,945 --> 00:15:34,948
Oh, man, I can't believe Donna
is serious about this celibacy thing.
286
00:15:34,989 --> 00:15:37,990
Fez, how do you cope
with not getting any?
287
00:15:40,701 --> 00:15:43,535
I think you know how I cope.
288
00:15:43,577 --> 00:15:45,411
When you don't
see me, I'm coping.
289
00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:52,873
Hey, he tried to get away again
so I had to use his stun gun on him.
290
00:15:52,915 --> 00:15:54,583
Yeah, it didn't hurt, though.
291
00:15:54,625 --> 00:15:58,334
Done it to myself so many
times, I barely feel it anymore.
292
00:15:58,376 --> 00:15:59,960
Okay, just get in the car.
293
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:01,645
You know, you guys
can take me to the academy
294
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,253
but as soon as
you leave, I'm gone.
295
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,313
All right, Kelso, that's it.
I haven't had sex in weeks,
296
00:16:05,337 --> 00:16:09,548
Fez is in a drought not seen
since the Great Dust Bowl.
297
00:16:09,590 --> 00:16:11,090
We are tightly wound.
298
00:16:11,132 --> 00:16:12,609
So, you better tell us
what your real problem is
299
00:16:12,633 --> 00:16:14,550
or we're gonna
freaking throttle you.
300
00:16:14,592 --> 00:16:16,968
I will tear you
apart like a lion.
301
00:16:19,052 --> 00:16:20,595
Okay, look,
I don't wanna tell you guys
302
00:16:20,637 --> 00:16:22,679
because I'm afraid
you're gonna make fun of me.
303
00:16:22,721 --> 00:16:27,723
Kelso, of course we're gonna
make fun of you.
304
00:16:27,765 --> 00:16:31,642
All right, fine. You know what, it's
like I'm going to a new school, okay?
305
00:16:31,683 --> 00:16:35,351
And I'm worried that I'm not
gonna be able to make friends.
306
00:16:35,393 --> 00:16:39,228
First off, I'm so much better
looking than everyone else.
307
00:16:39,270 --> 00:16:41,062
The only reason you guys
are friends with me
308
00:16:41,104 --> 00:16:44,773
is because you met me
before I blossomed.
309
00:16:44,815 --> 00:16:47,733
Man, you should be worried about
something that could actually happen,
310
00:16:47,775 --> 00:16:50,901
like handcuffing
yourself to a horse.
311
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,152
Look, Kelso, here's the thing,
312
00:16:53,193 --> 00:16:56,027
you've stolen my stuff
and you've burned my stuff.
313
00:16:57,738 --> 00:17:00,405
You've even groped my stuff.
314
00:17:00,447 --> 00:17:03,949
But I still hang out with you
because you are a great guy.
315
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:07,408
Come on,
you're Michael Kelso, right?
316
00:17:07,450 --> 00:17:09,660
You're bullet-proof.
317
00:17:09,701 --> 00:17:13,036
Yeah, man, you're right.
I am bullet-proof.
318
00:17:13,077 --> 00:17:16,204
- All right, let's get going.
- All right.
319
00:17:16,246 --> 00:17:19,623
Hey, by the way, you're
not actually bullet-proof.
320
00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:29,419
- Where do you
think you're going?
- To the backyard.
321
00:17:29,461 --> 00:17:32,004
No, I'm going to the backyard.
322
00:17:32,796 --> 00:17:34,630
Whatever.
323
00:17:34,672 --> 00:17:38,006
Don't give me that dirty look and
say, "Whatever." That is my thing.
324
00:17:39,007 --> 00:17:41,509
- Oh, my God.
- Hot tub.
325
00:17:43,843 --> 00:17:47,594
Mom, what are you doing in
there with that wet, hairy man?
326
00:17:47,636 --> 00:17:50,429
And why are you wearing
a white swimsuit? It's winter.
327
00:17:51,513 --> 00:17:53,388
Bobby and I are
just having a soak.
328
00:17:53,430 --> 00:17:55,682
Bobby?
329
00:17:55,723 --> 00:17:59,600
When did we get
a hot tub, Bobby?
330
00:17:59,642 --> 00:18:03,018
Me and Pammy were out shopping
and I saw it so I bought it.
331
00:18:03,059 --> 00:18:05,019
Even got the good one
with the euphoria jet.
332
00:18:06,812 --> 00:18:08,771
I love it in here.
333
00:18:08,813 --> 00:18:12,982
If you put salt around the rim it
would be like being in a giant margarita.
334
00:18:13,023 --> 00:18:15,525
Hey, what the hell, right?
Yeah.
335
00:18:15,566 --> 00:18:18,043
I have all this extra money and
Pammy here helped me spend some.
336
00:18:18,066 --> 00:18:19,902
Yeah, that's her specialty.
337
00:18:19,944 --> 00:18:22,194
You shut up about my mom.
338
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:25,279
- Thank you, Jackie.
- I wasn't defending you, okay?
339
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:27,280
This is just really weird.
340
00:18:27,322 --> 00:18:30,365
Can you both at least put your
hands up where I can see them?
341
00:18:30,406 --> 00:18:33,116
Enough, all right?
342
00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:36,201
I like Pam and she likes me.
We're both adults.
343
00:18:36,242 --> 00:18:39,077
So if you two can't handle it,
that's too bad.
344
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,578
Now go inside.
You're ruining our soak.
345
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,037
This soak is over.
346
00:18:44,497 --> 00:18:45,831
Then we'll go inside.
347
00:18:45,873 --> 00:18:48,248
Dad, are you naked?
348
00:18:48,290 --> 00:18:51,041
How else am I gonna
try the euphoria jet?
349
00:18:59,045 --> 00:19:01,213
Okay, I know we both have
different reasons
350
00:19:01,254 --> 00:19:03,190
for wanting our parents
to stop seeing each other.
351
00:19:03,214 --> 00:19:06,757
Like, I hate your mom
and your mom's a tramp.
352
00:19:06,799 --> 00:19:09,758
But we have to join forces and do
everything we can to break them up.
353
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,385
Now, I'm with you, Donna.
354
00:19:11,426 --> 00:19:15,469
All the couples I've broken up
before were just training till now.
355
00:19:15,511 --> 00:19:18,388
This one's not for popularity
or to make another girl cry,
356
00:19:18,429 --> 00:19:21,347
it's for my beautiful mom and
your mayonnaise-loving dad.
357
00:19:22,932 --> 00:19:26,099
- How's it going, girls?
- Not good.
358
00:19:26,141 --> 00:19:28,643
We just saw Bob
and Pam in a hot tub.
359
00:19:28,685 --> 00:19:31,686
- Bob and Pam are in a hot tub?
- Pam's in a hot tub?
360
00:19:35,479 --> 00:19:39,064
There, you did it again and this
time you didn't even say, "Bob."
361
00:19:40,565 --> 00:19:43,025
- Yes, I did.
- No, you didn't.
362
00:19:43,066 --> 00:19:44,859
Yes, I did.
363
00:19:44,901 --> 00:19:49,277
And you would have heard it, too,
if it hadn't been for all that damn tea.
364
00:19:49,319 --> 00:19:52,445
You know, I fought a war to
keep that crap out of this country
365
00:19:52,487 --> 00:19:55,155
and you had to
bring it into my house
366
00:19:55,197 --> 00:19:57,990
and you call
yourself an American. Ha!
367
00:20:06,703 --> 00:20:09,746
Okay, I'm all set, so...
368
00:20:09,787 --> 00:20:13,288
- Here I go.
- Kelso, you're gonna do great.
369
00:20:13,330 --> 00:20:15,456
But, hey, just in case,
370
00:20:15,498 --> 00:20:19,458
I packed some extra cookies in
your lunch to help you make friends.
371
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:21,919
Oh, I ate the cookies.
372
00:20:24,627 --> 00:20:27,170
Try to find
a friend who likes carrots.
373
00:20:28,922 --> 00:20:30,380
Okay, well...
374
00:20:32,673 --> 00:20:34,090
Guess this is it.
375
00:20:35,383 --> 00:20:37,717
Hey, give those cows hell, boys.
376
00:20:43,553 --> 00:20:44,846
Hey, Kelso...
377
00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:47,221
I love you!
378
00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:52,850
- Shut up.
- I love you, too, Kelso!
379
00:20:53,934 --> 00:20:56,268
- Just quit it.
- I love you the most!
380
00:21:02,063 --> 00:21:04,022
We were just kidding.
381
00:21:04,064 --> 00:21:06,106
So was I, so was I.
382
00:21:11,776 --> 00:21:14,234
I can't believe
there were no cows, man.
383
00:21:14,276 --> 00:21:17,319
Yeah, what are we gonna do
with all these bottle rockets?
384
00:21:23,739 --> 00:21:25,531
Fine, I'll be the cow.
385
00:21:27,741 --> 00:21:30,659
But this time,
count all the way to ten.
386
00:21:30,701 --> 00:21:32,452
You got it buddy.
387
00:21:34,912 --> 00:21:36,120
- One...
- Ten!
388
00:21:36,144 --> 00:21:38,143
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