1
00:00:04,202 --> 00:00:09,205
Okay, so tell me
about the job hunt.
2
00:00:09,246 --> 00:00:11,874
Did my little worker bee
find a happy hive?
3
00:00:13,666 --> 00:00:17,210
No, all the jobs had the same
problem, a dumb ass boss.
4
00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:23,630
You know, one guy actually thought
that duct tape was called "duck" tape.
5
00:00:25,255 --> 00:00:28,299
A security guard
had to pull us apart.
6
00:00:28,341 --> 00:00:30,425
Oh, honey,
you'll find something.
7
00:00:30,467 --> 00:00:33,594
You worked at that
auto parts plant for so long.
8
00:00:33,636 --> 00:00:35,846
Did you try looking
at auto parts stores?
9
00:00:36,846 --> 00:00:39,556
Well, I'll be, Kitty.
10
00:00:39,597 --> 00:00:42,892
And here I spent all morning
applying to be an astronaut.
11
00:00:56,774 --> 00:00:58,373
What the hell is wrong
with your muffler?
12
00:00:59,525 --> 00:01:01,027
I didn't notice anything.
13
00:01:03,236 --> 00:01:05,362
Maybe I was too busy
enjoying my morning ice cream.
14
00:01:05,404 --> 00:01:07,947
That's right,
my morning ice cream.
15
00:01:07,989 --> 00:01:11,824
Part of my new "year off"
philosophy, I want a treat, I get a treat.
16
00:01:13,909 --> 00:01:15,576
We haven't even had lunch yet.
17
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,411
Eric never eats dessert
before a meal.
18
00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:20,913
He used to say, "When I finish
my peas, I can eat what I please."
19
00:01:22,454 --> 00:01:24,915
I taught him that.
20
00:01:24,956 --> 00:01:28,751
I also taught him, "Eat your
asparagus or people will stare at us."
21
00:01:31,251 --> 00:01:33,212
It's not true but he was little.
22
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:38,173
Good Lord,
is that bubblegum ice cream?
23
00:01:38,215 --> 00:01:40,674
Well, it's not simply
bubblegum ice cream,
24
00:01:40,716 --> 00:01:42,884
it's frosty
double-bubble blast-off.
25
00:01:44,467 --> 00:01:46,177
Why are you with him?
26
00:01:46,219 --> 00:01:49,262
- I find him whimsical.
- So do I.
27
00:01:50,971 --> 00:01:53,264
Isn't that nice?
They find me whimsical.
28
00:01:55,057 --> 00:01:57,225
Who's got a bad muffler?
29
00:01:57,266 --> 00:02:00,393
See? Even Bob knows
when a car sounds off.
30
00:02:00,435 --> 00:02:03,062
I never know what you mean
by "even Bob,"
31
00:02:04,437 --> 00:02:07,814
but I like to assume
it's a compliment.
32
00:02:07,856 --> 00:02:10,024
Have you checked
your muffler lately?
33
00:02:10,066 --> 00:02:12,776
I'm gonna be honest
with you, I haven't.
34
00:02:12,817 --> 00:02:17,361
But that green, liquid stuff under the
hood seems to be at a really healthy level.
35
00:02:18,987 --> 00:02:20,780
Coolant.
36
00:02:20,821 --> 00:02:23,573
Donna, I think
I can handle this, okay?
37
00:02:23,615 --> 00:02:25,157
You cool it.
38
00:02:27,491 --> 00:02:28,993
All right, that's it.
39
00:02:29,035 --> 00:02:31,036
We're going to the muffler shop.
40
00:02:31,078 --> 00:02:35,329
This whole family is gonna learn
a little lesson in muffler care today.
41
00:02:35,371 --> 00:02:39,665
Well, it's not a trip to Europe,
but at least I get out of the house.
42
00:02:39,707 --> 00:02:41,851
Wait a second. You're not
just tricking me into the car
43
00:02:41,875 --> 00:02:44,594
and really taking me to the
pediatrician for a booster shot, are you?
44
00:02:45,086 --> 00:02:46,711
- No.
- Good.
45
00:02:48,087 --> 00:02:49,463
'Cause that only works twice.
46
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:58,345
So, Steven, did you have a good time
when you went out with your new dad?
47
00:02:59,094 --> 00:03:00,261
Yeah, it was all right.
48
00:03:00,301 --> 00:03:03,845
- Well, have you
called him yet?
- No.
49
00:03:03,887 --> 00:03:07,556
I know if I went out with a boy and
he didn't call me after three days,
50
00:03:07,598 --> 00:03:10,391
I'd know he wasn't interested.
51
00:03:10,433 --> 00:03:13,101
Well, Jackie,
my dad and I aren't dating.
52
00:03:13,143 --> 00:03:15,310
We're a father
and an illegitimate son.
53
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,148
Great news, I had a baby,
and it's a girl!
54
00:03:21,189 --> 00:03:24,315
- Oh, man, fantastic.
- Congratulations, man.
55
00:03:25,483 --> 00:03:27,484
See, Michael,
I'm trying to be happy for you
56
00:03:27,525 --> 00:03:30,111
but your hair is
making it really hard.
57
00:03:31,195 --> 00:03:32,654
What happened?
58
00:03:32,695 --> 00:03:35,239
Well, I was waiting for Brooke
to have the baby, right?
59
00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:38,158
And I was chewing gum,
60
00:03:38,199 --> 00:03:42,076
and then I decided that I wanted
to blow a bubble as big as my head.
61
00:03:43,785 --> 00:03:45,120
And then I did,
62
00:03:46,745 --> 00:03:49,056
and then you can probably
figure out the rest of the story.
63
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:51,331
- Oh, what's her name?
- Betsy.
64
00:03:51,372 --> 00:03:53,040
Fat girl's name.
65
00:03:54,707 --> 00:03:56,875
I don't know, I kind of like it.
66
00:03:56,917 --> 00:03:59,086
But, of course, I also
like the larger ladies.
67
00:04:00,711 --> 00:04:02,545
Well, I had no say.
68
00:04:02,587 --> 00:04:05,339
If it was up to me, it would've
been something classy, like Bambi.
69
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:10,092
Man, do you even know
what "classy" means?
70
00:04:10,134 --> 00:04:12,444
'Cause you're always saying
things are classy when they aren't,
71
00:04:12,468 --> 00:04:14,011
like your classy carpeted van.
72
00:04:15,179 --> 00:04:16,929
The Shagging Wagon?
73
00:04:19,597 --> 00:04:22,556
That had a buttload of class.
Check it out.
74
00:04:22,598 --> 00:04:24,557
Oh.
75
00:04:24,599 --> 00:04:28,269
Wait, Michael,
these are all pictures of you.
76
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:33,105
Yeah, I was the only thing
not covered in slime.
77
00:04:34,438 --> 00:04:36,648
Oh, here's one of
Brooke's boobs.
78
00:04:43,443 --> 00:04:45,862
Where did that one
of Brooke's boobs go?
79
00:04:47,529 --> 00:04:51,240
Ah, here we go.
Here's a picture of the kid.
80
00:04:51,282 --> 00:04:53,616
Nice, Kelso,
she's got Brooke's eyes
81
00:04:53,658 --> 00:04:55,367
and your fondness
for mooning the camera.
82
00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:00,245
Oh, Michael, she is adorable.
83
00:05:00,287 --> 00:05:03,372
Hey, I brought
cigars to celebrate.
84
00:05:03,413 --> 00:05:04,789
- Sweet.
- Fun.
85
00:05:04,831 --> 00:05:06,332
I love cigars.
86
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,374
I hate cigars.
87
00:05:10,917 --> 00:05:13,752
This is way worse than what
we usually do in the circle.
88
00:05:13,794 --> 00:05:18,505
It tastes disgusting, it smells rank,
it doesn't even make stuff funny.
89
00:05:18,547 --> 00:05:20,381
This should be illegal.
90
00:05:21,841 --> 00:05:24,591
I hate this.
91
00:05:24,633 --> 00:05:27,385
It's like smoking
a dirty sock, only easier.
92
00:05:31,222 --> 00:05:33,514
I love cigars.
I'm good at everything.
93
00:05:36,098 --> 00:05:37,850
I just threw up a little.
94
00:05:41,894 --> 00:05:44,394
♪ Hanging out
95
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,646
♪ Down the street
96
00:05:49,273 --> 00:05:51,398
♪ The same old thing
97
00:05:53,067 --> 00:05:55,400
♪ We did last week
98
00:05:56,110 --> 00:05:59,904
♪ Not a thing to do
99
00:06:00,738 --> 00:06:04,073
♪ But talk to you
100
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,074
♪ We're all all right
101
00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:08,449
♪ We're all all right ♪
102
00:06:08,491 --> 00:06:10,409
Hello, Wisconsin!
103
00:06:22,541 --> 00:06:24,792
"Out of business"?
104
00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:26,919
I can't believe it.
I loved this place.
105
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,337
How could this happen?
106
00:06:28,379 --> 00:06:31,880
Red, it's not
your ancestral home.
107
00:06:31,922 --> 00:06:33,964
Well, what kind of a town
is this anymore,
108
00:06:34,006 --> 00:06:36,465
if we don't even
have a muffler shop?
109
00:06:36,507 --> 00:06:37,759
A loud one.
110
00:06:39,425 --> 00:06:42,678
Okay, cheer up.
Maybe this is good news.
111
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:47,265
Ooh, what if something fun opens
up here next, like a button shop.
112
00:06:50,224 --> 00:06:51,725
We could come here as a family
113
00:06:51,767 --> 00:06:55,143
and just dig and dig through
big drawers of buttons.
114
00:06:57,061 --> 00:06:58,771
I think it sounds fun.
115
00:07:01,646 --> 00:07:04,499
Okay, you guys, I made a list of all
the things I wanna do on my year off.
116
00:07:04,523 --> 00:07:06,482
Check out number five.
117
00:07:06,524 --> 00:07:09,151
"Jump into my car through
the window like the Duke boys."
118
00:07:09,193 --> 00:07:13,279
No, no, no, no. No, I already did
that. That should be crossed off.
119
00:07:14,071 --> 00:07:15,905
Number six.
120
00:07:15,947 --> 00:07:18,240
"Vandalize a local business"?
121
00:07:18,282 --> 00:07:22,033
Yes, and today I happened to
see an out-of-business muffler shop.
122
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,492
Imagine the muffler shop signs
123
00:07:24,534 --> 00:07:27,453
with the "L-E-R" scratched off
the word "muffler."
124
00:07:30,038 --> 00:07:32,915
Eric, no, that's gross.
125
00:07:34,498 --> 00:07:37,667
What's gross? I don't get it.
I want to know what's gross.
126
00:07:37,709 --> 00:07:41,544
Replace your old "muffler"
without the "ler."
127
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:45,297
"Replace your old muff..."
128
00:07:46,505 --> 00:07:47,589
Oh, I get it.
129
00:07:49,715 --> 00:07:51,634
I get it.
130
00:07:51,675 --> 00:07:54,468
Okay, you know that I'm
digging the new, whimsical Eric,
131
00:07:54,509 --> 00:07:58,263
but don't you think you could find a
prank that isn't highly offensive to women?
132
00:07:58,305 --> 00:08:00,931
Donna, you're asking me to
play tennis without a racket here.
133
00:08:00,973 --> 00:08:06,016
Okay, what if you took "M-U-F"
off the front of "muffler"
134
00:08:06,058 --> 00:08:09,394
so the sign says stuff
about "flers," right?
135
00:08:10,436 --> 00:08:12,313
That's French for flowers,
136
00:08:12,354 --> 00:08:15,272
and people will be really mad if they
thought it was a French flower shop.
137
00:08:15,521 --> 00:08:17,231
Huh?
138
00:08:17,273 --> 00:08:19,400
Yeah, that sucks,
yours is funny. Go.
139
00:08:21,651 --> 00:08:23,152
I never thought
this could happen,
140
00:08:23,193 --> 00:08:26,028
but I've officially
become more attractive.
141
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:31,281
Tonight, I have a date with a chick
who called my single fatherhood
142
00:08:31,323 --> 00:08:34,408
the cutest thing
she'd ever heard of.
143
00:08:34,450 --> 00:08:35,825
You know, I don't know why
144
00:08:35,866 --> 00:08:38,105
more guys don't impregnate
women and then not marry them.
145
00:08:40,036 --> 00:08:43,121
Maybe because it's
irresponsible and shortsighted.
146
00:08:43,163 --> 00:08:47,124
Okay, I might be irresponsible
but my vision is perfect.
147
00:08:53,794 --> 00:08:55,503
"Trade in your used muffler."
148
00:08:58,963 --> 00:09:01,589
It's brilliant.
149
00:09:01,631 --> 00:09:05,050
He's right. I am delighted
and disgusted at the same time.
150
00:09:05,092 --> 00:09:08,885
It's just nice to finally feel
that way when I'm not alone.
151
00:09:08,927 --> 00:09:11,053
Hey, let me ask you guys
a question about my dad.
152
00:09:11,095 --> 00:09:13,013
Shoot.
153
00:09:13,054 --> 00:09:14,864
How often are you supposed to talk
to the man who impregnated your mom
154
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,992
before she married the man
you thought was your father?
155
00:09:17,016 --> 00:09:21,767
Um, I could check with some folks
in Kentucky and get back to you.
156
00:09:21,809 --> 00:09:25,103
I could give you the number of
some first cousins who got married.
157
00:09:25,145 --> 00:09:27,304
Thanks, man, I don't really
wanna talk to your parents.
158
00:09:27,980 --> 00:09:30,398
Ah, good burn.
159
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:34,650
Okay, ice cream's finished,
bubblegum, I will save you for later.
160
00:09:34,692 --> 00:09:36,526
Guys, let's do this.
161
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,446
"Winterize your muffler."
162
00:09:44,531 --> 00:09:46,491
You know, I almost hope
we get arrested.
163
00:09:46,532 --> 00:09:47,811
I really want this on my record.
164
00:09:57,621 --> 00:10:01,540
Well, it's clear these baby pictures
are having the desired effect.
165
00:10:03,541 --> 00:10:07,711
Oh, and here's another one after
we hosed her off and warmed her up.
166
00:10:07,752 --> 00:10:11,463
Oh, she's so cute.
Almost as cute as you.
167
00:10:11,505 --> 00:10:13,005
Yeah, she wishes.
168
00:10:14,089 --> 00:10:15,507
Oh, my gosh!
169
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,966
I had that same blankie
when I was a baby.
170
00:10:18,008 --> 00:10:20,634
My daddy use to wrap me in it
after my bath.
171
00:10:20,676 --> 00:10:21,968
Your daddy?
172
00:10:24,761 --> 00:10:25,888
Oh, my God.
173
00:10:26,804 --> 00:10:28,473
You're somebody's daughter?
174
00:10:30,349 --> 00:10:32,475
So?
175
00:10:32,517 --> 00:10:36,643
So, I'm thinking about how I would feel
if my baby girl was out with a guy like me.
176
00:10:38,395 --> 00:10:41,063
And it is not good.
I'm all hands.
177
00:10:42,398 --> 00:10:44,690
That's okay,
because I want you to...
178
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,567
Dude,
that is not what that is for!
179
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:53,986
Look at you,
180
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,571
with your bright eyes
and your rosy cheeks.
181
00:10:56,612 --> 00:11:00,241
I think vandalism
really agrees with you.
182
00:11:00,282 --> 00:11:02,343
Well, Donna, I think I've
really turned a corner here.
183
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:04,535
I'm tough, I'm gritty...
184
00:11:05,951 --> 00:11:08,828
Okay, I've got paint
under my fingernails.
185
00:11:08,870 --> 00:11:12,372
I may need to borrow
my mother's manicure set.
186
00:11:12,414 --> 00:11:14,998
No, leave it.
It makes you look dangerous.
187
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,708
Like you don't even know
what a manicure set is.
188
00:11:20,377 --> 00:11:23,462
Donna, you got a little
something on your face, I got it.
189
00:11:25,963 --> 00:11:27,797
Kitty, come on in here.
190
00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:31,049
Boy, have I got big news.
191
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:33,342
- What's going on?
- We just came from the bank.
192
00:11:33,384 --> 00:11:36,677
- You know that muffler shop
that went out of business?
- Mmm-hmm.
193
00:11:36,719 --> 00:11:38,845
- I bought it.
- Oh, no!
194
00:11:44,015 --> 00:11:45,724
♪ Do the "Oh, no"
195
00:11:45,766 --> 00:11:47,058
♪ Oh, no!
196
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:48,935
♪ Do the "Oh, no"
197
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:50,018
♪ Oh, no!
198
00:11:50,060 --> 00:11:51,810
Come on, everybody!
199
00:11:52,937 --> 00:11:54,062
♪ Do the "Oh, no"
200
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:55,313
♪ Say what?
201
00:11:55,355 --> 00:11:57,106
♪ Do the "Oh, no"
202
00:11:57,147 --> 00:11:58,315
♪ Right now ♪
203
00:12:05,194 --> 00:12:06,610
What the hell?
204
00:12:14,116 --> 00:12:17,242
Yeah.
"What the hell" is right.
205
00:12:17,284 --> 00:12:21,618
Who would do such an
irresponsible and ironic thing?
206
00:12:23,538 --> 00:12:26,205
Certainly not anyone
I would want to make out with.
207
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:30,666
I mean the opposite of that.
208
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:34,502
Okay, you gotta admit it, this
one's pretty funny.
209
00:12:36,503 --> 00:12:38,837
I'm sorry, I love word play.
210
00:12:38,879 --> 00:12:39,879
I don't get it.
211
00:12:41,423 --> 00:12:43,424
What's so funny about a muff?
212
00:12:45,007 --> 00:12:48,176
- Kitty.
- I mean, muffs aren't funny.
213
00:12:48,218 --> 00:12:52,345
I have a beautiful gray one
that I have been using for years.
214
00:12:53,388 --> 00:12:57,807
For the love of God, please.
215
00:12:57,848 --> 00:13:01,016
- Just tell me what's
so funny about my...
- Nothing.
216
00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:04,978
- Nothing is funny.
- Exactly.
217
00:13:06,395 --> 00:13:08,396
Would you look at this?
218
00:13:10,314 --> 00:13:12,315
Bubblegum ice cream?
219
00:13:15,858 --> 00:13:18,193
Okay, good start.
220
00:13:19,902 --> 00:13:22,653
Now let's fan out
and search for more clues.
221
00:13:30,033 --> 00:13:33,368
Then I realized that Kimberly
is some guy's daughter.
222
00:13:35,786 --> 00:13:38,913
Yeah, and he probably loves
her as much as I love my daughter.
223
00:13:38,955 --> 00:13:41,790
And then I had to go
and take a boiling hot shower
224
00:13:41,832 --> 00:13:43,874
and scrub until
a little skin came off.
225
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:49,003
So the joy of having a daughter
has come with some tragedy.
226
00:13:49,044 --> 00:13:51,669
You can no longer treat women
like meaningless whores.
227
00:13:52,963 --> 00:13:54,046
Sucker.
228
00:13:56,214 --> 00:13:59,049
Steven, see,
fathers love their children,
229
00:13:59,091 --> 00:14:01,468
just like your new daddy
loves you. So call him.
230
00:14:03,427 --> 00:14:04,470
No.
231
00:14:05,677 --> 00:14:07,887
Steven,
you never do anything I say.
232
00:14:07,929 --> 00:14:09,847
If you were a dog
or someone who worked for me,
233
00:14:09,888 --> 00:14:11,681
I'd smack you on the nose
with a newspaper.
234
00:14:14,058 --> 00:14:16,809
All right.
You guys, this is serious.
235
00:14:16,851 --> 00:14:20,687
I may never be able
to have sex again,
236
00:14:20,728 --> 00:14:25,565
now that I realize that women
are more than just sex objects.
237
00:14:25,607 --> 00:14:28,233
Hey, is this like the time you
realized you wanted to be a cop,
238
00:14:28,274 --> 00:14:30,692
or like the time you realized
that you were a robot?
239
00:14:33,110 --> 00:14:35,695
My eyes were red
in all of my pictures.
240
00:14:39,698 --> 00:14:42,574
You know, I just don't believe
that you've changed this much.
241
00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:48,703
For example, what would you do
if I were to lean way over like this?
242
00:14:53,997 --> 00:14:55,998
What are you doing?
Grab it, man.
243
00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:01,585
I can't. I respect women now.
244
00:15:01,627 --> 00:15:03,961
Listen, what am I gonna do?
245
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:07,754
It's no big deal, man. You
can just never have sex again.
246
00:15:07,796 --> 00:15:09,173
With this body?
247
00:15:11,508 --> 00:15:13,800
All right. People would riot
in the streets.
248
00:15:15,968 --> 00:15:19,011
You know, you could engage
in a meaningful relationship.
249
00:15:19,053 --> 00:15:22,639
What... Donna, this is no time
for your feminist mumbo-jumbo.
250
00:15:23,972 --> 00:15:26,849
Okay, wait, you guys,
he doesn't wanna change.
251
00:15:26,891 --> 00:15:28,684
He wants to feel like
he's respecting women
252
00:15:28,725 --> 00:15:30,476
while still acting like
a shallow creep.
253
00:15:32,102 --> 00:15:34,729
You know, you've always
gotten me, Jackie.
254
00:15:35,896 --> 00:15:37,855
That's it. I need a loophole
255
00:15:37,897 --> 00:15:41,983
so I can keep doing what I'm
doing without being a bad father.
256
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,984
The father.
The father is the key.
257
00:15:45,943 --> 00:15:47,736
Oh, so we kill the father.
258
00:15:51,363 --> 00:15:53,739
That's not what I meant.
259
00:15:55,533 --> 00:15:56,741
Oh, me either.
260
00:16:01,744 --> 00:16:04,371
Of course Steven
should call his dad.
261
00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:07,164
I know, but he won't do it,
and I've tried everything.
262
00:16:07,206 --> 00:16:09,748
Nagging him,
poking him, smacking him.
263
00:16:11,208 --> 00:16:13,209
You know,
my bag of tricks is empty.
264
00:16:14,292 --> 00:16:15,752
Well, he needs a father.
265
00:16:15,793 --> 00:16:17,503
The day is fast approaching
266
00:16:17,545 --> 00:16:21,463
when someone's gonna have to talk
to him about the birds and the bees.
267
00:16:21,505 --> 00:16:23,715
Well, actually, Mrs. Forman...
268
00:16:23,756 --> 00:16:26,007
Yes, it's fast,
fast approaching.
269
00:16:27,759 --> 00:16:29,719
Oh, here he comes.
Okay, please do something.
270
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,761
Okay, I'm good at this.
271
00:16:35,763 --> 00:16:38,181
Oh, this is Steven's father,
you say?
272
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:44,060
You really wanna talk to him but
he has to call you first, you say?
273
00:16:46,186 --> 00:16:47,811
Mrs. Forman?
274
00:16:47,853 --> 00:16:50,146
I know you're not really
on the phone with my dad.
275
00:16:51,522 --> 00:16:52,856
Oh, you do?
276
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:54,774
Oh, you do?
277
00:16:56,775 --> 00:16:59,110
Well, you're right.
278
00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:01,278
I thought you said
you were good at this.
279
00:17:01,319 --> 00:17:03,362
He is a lot savvier than Eric.
280
00:17:07,073 --> 00:17:09,699
Why can't you guys just let me
do things my own way?
281
00:17:09,741 --> 00:17:12,909
Because I know meeting
your dad meant a lot to you.
282
00:17:12,951 --> 00:17:15,202
And every time
something means a lot to you,
283
00:17:15,244 --> 00:17:18,538
you push it away
before it can push you away.
284
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:21,872
And every time something
means a lot to me, I smother it,
285
00:17:21,914 --> 00:17:23,915
which is why
we're such a good couple.
286
00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:28,084
Fine, I'll call,
287
00:17:28,126 --> 00:17:31,420
if you both promise to stop bothering
me about it, let me do it by myself.
288
00:17:31,462 --> 00:17:33,421
- Absolutely.
- Anything you want.
289
00:17:38,633 --> 00:17:40,508
I wish I had a camera.
290
00:17:43,176 --> 00:17:45,720
Can I just get a picture
of you holding the phone?
291
00:17:45,762 --> 00:17:47,053
- I'm hanging up.
- We're going.
292
00:17:47,095 --> 00:17:48,513
Going.
293
00:17:54,433 --> 00:17:56,476
Yeah, hi,
William Barnett, please.
294
00:17:56,517 --> 00:17:58,810
Hey, man, it's Steven.
295
00:17:58,851 --> 00:18:01,479
Tell him you love him.
Daddy! Daddy, he loves you!
296
00:18:06,940 --> 00:18:09,233
Hello, sir,
I'm here to pick up Kimberly,
297
00:18:09,275 --> 00:18:12,151
and I figure if I'm upfront
with you about my intentions,
298
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:14,736
we can all feel good
about our date.
299
00:18:14,778 --> 00:18:19,781
Now, I'm about to do things of a
sexual nature with your daughter,
300
00:18:19,822 --> 00:18:24,241
and even though she does
those things with everyone,
301
00:18:24,283 --> 00:18:26,826
I have a new respect for the
father-daughter relationship,
302
00:18:26,867 --> 00:18:29,536
now that I have a daughter,
out of wedlock.
303
00:18:29,578 --> 00:18:32,371
I'm no longer with the mother,
don't worry.
304
00:18:32,413 --> 00:18:34,080
So I figure,
with your permission,
305
00:18:34,122 --> 00:18:36,873
I can proceed to pleasure her
time and time again.
306
00:18:37,415 --> 00:18:38,416
What do you say?
307
00:18:41,251 --> 00:18:42,876
Ow!
308
00:18:48,506 --> 00:18:52,257
God, I can't believe Red
bought the muffler shop.
309
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:55,676
All right, that's it, new
Eric's out, old Eric's back.
310
00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:59,720
I should probably just go upstairs
and think about what I've done.
311
00:19:00,679 --> 00:19:04,014
Come on.
You can't turn back now.
312
00:19:04,055 --> 00:19:07,516
You're like an explorer
discovering a new you.
313
00:19:07,557 --> 00:19:09,909
When Columbus discovered
America instead of the West Indies,
314
00:19:09,933 --> 00:19:11,268
did he go to his room?
315
00:19:11,310 --> 00:19:14,687
No, he waded into Mexico
and stole all of their gold.
316
00:19:17,104 --> 00:19:20,607
Okay, I'm not following.
317
00:19:20,649 --> 00:19:23,607
I think it's hot when you do naughty
stuff and I want you to keep doing it.
318
00:19:24,942 --> 00:19:26,985
You know what? It is hot.
319
00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:30,320
I'm not gonna let
Red bully me out of it.
320
00:19:30,362 --> 00:19:33,698
I mean, how often was I hot
before? Almost never, right?
321
00:19:34,989 --> 00:19:38,784
But now I am hot
and hot I will stay.
322
00:19:40,075 --> 00:19:41,619
Let's celebrate.
323
00:19:42,619 --> 00:19:44,203
One of Red's beers?
324
00:19:46,329 --> 00:19:48,331
There's a new sheriff
in town, little lady.
325
00:19:50,833 --> 00:19:54,167
Well, if it isn't my son,
the vandal.
326
00:19:54,209 --> 00:19:57,378
You know, I ought to vandalize
your ass with my foot.
327
00:19:58,712 --> 00:20:02,714
Look, I said I was sorry
and I'd fix up the shop.
328
00:20:02,755 --> 00:20:07,591
Come on, Dad, aren't we getting
a little old for this whole dance?
329
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:12,135
I mean, here we are shaking
our booties and I mean...
330
00:20:13,094 --> 00:20:14,387
Disco's dead.
331
00:20:15,971 --> 00:20:17,889
You're not taking
dance classes again, are you?
332
00:20:19,097 --> 00:20:20,349
No.
333
00:20:20,391 --> 00:20:22,684
I'm saying here's
what's gonna happen,
334
00:20:22,726 --> 00:20:25,476
you're gonna accept
my apology, man to man,
335
00:20:25,518 --> 00:20:29,437
and then sit down with me and
my girl here and enjoy this beer.
336
00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:33,606
No, here's what's gonna happen.
337
00:20:35,982 --> 00:20:39,068
You are gonna put down
that beer and go to your room.
338
00:20:41,694 --> 00:20:45,739
Or here's what's gonna happen.
339
00:20:46,905 --> 00:20:48,823
I am gonna go to my room.
340
00:20:48,865 --> 00:20:50,074
But first,
341
00:20:52,325 --> 00:20:53,909
I'm gonna chug this beer.
342
00:20:55,535 --> 00:20:56,994
Chug it, Eric.
343
00:21:01,831 --> 00:21:03,665
Okay, that's really fizzy.
344
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:07,917
But I think I made my point.
345
00:21:09,752 --> 00:21:11,919
Now you put some
Saran Wrap on that,
346
00:21:15,963 --> 00:21:17,297
and I will finish it later.
347
00:21:22,967 --> 00:21:25,094
I will have you know
that my friend Linda
348
00:21:25,135 --> 00:21:27,928
just filled me in
on some slang words
349
00:21:29,889 --> 00:21:32,431
that some people in
my family find funny.
350
00:21:34,140 --> 00:21:37,934
And now I can never feel
comfortable with my muff again.
351
00:21:39,852 --> 00:21:42,353
- Mom...
- Don't laugh, mister.
352
00:21:42,395 --> 00:21:46,022
When you were a baby, I used to
put you in it when you got out of the tub.
353
00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:49,566
Okay, this isn't funny anymore.
354
00:21:50,483 --> 00:21:51,525
Stop.
355
00:21:51,549 --> 00:21:53,548
http://hiqve.com/