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http://hi
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http://hiqve.
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http://hiqve.c
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http://hiqve.co
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http://hiqve.com
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http://hiqve.com/
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http://hiqve.com/
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Guys, guess what I just heard
in the ladies' bathroom?
20
00:00:10,933 --> 00:00:12,830
Fez, what were you doing
in the ladies' bathroom?
21
00:00:12,854 --> 00:00:16,693
Oh, spying,
eating lunch, you know.
22
00:00:16,735 --> 00:00:20,532
I heard two girls say they did
not want to go to college as virgins.
23
00:00:22,076 --> 00:00:25,664
Yeah,
I caught that wave last year.
24
00:00:25,706 --> 00:00:30,255
So I'm thinking, if horny
virgins are dying for sex,
25
00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:32,717
then a-hunting
horny virgins I will go.
26
00:00:35,345 --> 00:00:37,557
By the way, Fez,
it's not pronounced virgin,
27
00:00:37,599 --> 00:00:39,518
it's pronounced vir-gin.
28
00:00:41,647 --> 00:00:42,941
I thought it was virgin?
29
00:00:42,981 --> 00:00:46,528
No, no.
Hyde's right. It's vir-gin.
30
00:00:46,570 --> 00:00:50,200
Oh, now I will not sound stupid
in front of the beautiful vir-gins.
31
00:00:54,415 --> 00:00:55,709
Oh, my God!
32
00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:57,086
That's... That's the girl.
33
00:00:57,128 --> 00:00:59,441
That's the one I made it with
at the Molly Hatchet concert.
34
00:00:59,465 --> 00:01:00,758
That's Brooke.
35
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,513
Man, no one sleeps
with that Brooke.
36
00:01:03,554 --> 00:01:05,557
When we were sophomores
and she was a senior,
37
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,394
she turned down her science
teacher, and he drove a Corvette.
38
00:01:10,147 --> 00:01:13,234
Yeah, she was like some kind of
mythical creature, like a unicorn.
39
00:01:15,404 --> 00:01:17,951
It's weird, it seems like
she's moving too fast.
40
00:01:17,993 --> 00:01:23,000
It's probably cause all my memories
of her are in super jiggle sexy slo-mo.
41
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,797
Well, all I know is, that's her,
42
00:01:26,839 --> 00:01:29,175
and I did it with her,
and I'll prove it.
43
00:01:34,517 --> 00:01:36,687
Hey, Brooke.
44
00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:39,106
Yeah, I know this
is kind of awkward,
45
00:01:39,148 --> 00:01:41,652
but could you tell
my friends over there
46
00:01:45,324 --> 00:01:47,870
about you and me
at the Molly Hatchet concert?
47
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,331
Do I know you?
48
00:01:52,043 --> 00:01:54,546
Hey,
I'm sorry to interrupt but...
49
00:01:54,588 --> 00:01:56,090
Burn!
50
00:01:59,637 --> 00:02:02,140
It's me,
Michael, from the concert.
51
00:02:02,182 --> 00:02:03,936
I've been looking
for you for weeks,
52
00:02:03,977 --> 00:02:06,480
and I think you were so blissed
out, and that does happen,
53
00:02:06,522 --> 00:02:09,150
that you gave me
the wrong phone number.
54
00:02:09,192 --> 00:02:11,320
But the good news is,
I wasn't a dream.
55
00:02:13,407 --> 00:02:16,370
I'm sorry, I don't know
what you're talking about.
56
00:02:16,412 --> 00:02:18,498
No, Michael Kelso.
57
00:02:18,540 --> 00:02:21,753
"Let's do it in the men's
room, it's more romantic."
58
00:02:22,546 --> 00:02:23,672
No, wait...
59
00:02:23,714 --> 00:02:25,675
I kicked that kid
out of the handicapped stall
60
00:02:25,717 --> 00:02:27,177
so we could have more room!
61
00:02:32,268 --> 00:02:34,146
♪ Hanging out
62
00:02:35,941 --> 00:02:38,027
♪ Down the street
63
00:02:39,404 --> 00:02:41,532
♪ The same old thing
64
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,246
♪ We did last week
65
00:02:46,748 --> 00:02:49,837
♪ Not a thing to do
66
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:54,343
♪ But talk to you
67
00:02:54,384 --> 00:02:56,138
♪ We're all all right
68
00:02:56,178 --> 00:02:58,724
♪ We're all all right ♪
69
00:02:58,766 --> 00:03:00,769
Hello, Wisconsin!
70
00:03:07,529 --> 00:03:09,573
What is Brooke's deal, man?
71
00:03:12,286 --> 00:03:15,206
I mean, most girls lie about
doing it with me when they haven't.
72
00:03:16,710 --> 00:03:19,212
This... The...
Everything is backwards.
73
00:03:21,299 --> 00:03:23,928
Yeah, this is just
like Freaky Friday,
74
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,182
but unlike that
charming little movie,
75
00:03:26,223 --> 00:03:28,477
your story has no basis in fact.
76
00:03:31,314 --> 00:03:34,611
It does, too, except it's
just the girl is avoiding me.
77
00:03:34,653 --> 00:03:38,033
I mean, how do you get a girl to
come to you when you repulse her?
78
00:03:38,075 --> 00:03:39,243
Yeah, Eric?
79
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:47,005
Well, I like to put a hot dog
on the end of a stick
80
00:03:47,047 --> 00:03:49,926
and hide in the bushes, so...
81
00:03:49,967 --> 00:03:51,720
Donna, so how do you
know Brooke, anyway?
82
00:03:51,762 --> 00:03:55,350
Did you guys jump out of a
cake together or something?
83
00:03:55,392 --> 00:03:59,815
Yeah! No, moron.
84
00:03:59,857 --> 00:04:02,128
When she was a senior we
worked on the school paper together.
85
00:04:02,152 --> 00:04:04,673
I think you know Brooke 'cause
there's a secret club in this town
86
00:04:04,697 --> 00:04:07,159
made up of all the hot girls.
87
00:04:07,201 --> 00:04:09,747
It's the secret hot girls club.
88
00:04:12,042 --> 00:04:14,129
There's no
secret hot girls club.
89
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,924
Believe me, I'd know.
90
00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,760
Uh-huh.
Well, I'm gonna take off.
91
00:04:18,802 --> 00:04:20,721
I have to get to
my secret hot girls meeting.
92
00:04:20,763 --> 00:04:22,266
Oops!
93
00:04:25,561 --> 00:04:27,564
Why doesn't Brooke like me?
94
00:04:27,606 --> 00:04:29,151
I am a gentleman.
95
00:04:29,192 --> 00:04:31,838
Oh, yeah, you lied about doing it
with a hot girl in the men's room.
96
00:04:31,862 --> 00:04:33,323
You're Cary Grant.
97
00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:37,037
Steven, you've been quiet.
98
00:04:37,079 --> 00:04:38,832
Do you think Brooke's hot?
99
00:04:38,873 --> 00:04:41,502
Do you really want me
to answer that question?
100
00:04:42,253 --> 00:04:44,047
Oh, I think we all do.
101
00:04:46,425 --> 00:04:47,928
Steven, it's no big deal.
102
00:04:47,970 --> 00:04:49,806
Do you think she's hot?
103
00:04:49,848 --> 00:04:53,770
Oh, well, I guess since you're not
setting a trap, I can answer honestly.
104
00:04:55,105 --> 00:04:56,482
Yeah, she's freaking hot.
105
00:04:56,524 --> 00:04:58,902
A-ha! See, I trapped you.
106
00:05:01,405 --> 00:05:05,329
Now take it back
or I'll pinch you.
107
00:05:05,370 --> 00:05:09,001
Jackie, if you pinch me, it's gonna cause
a serious problem in this relationship.
108
00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:10,128
Fine.
109
00:05:10,628 --> 00:05:11,880
Ow!
110
00:05:18,849 --> 00:05:20,310
Oh, hey, Jackie.
111
00:05:20,352 --> 00:05:22,897
Are any of your
college-bound friends vir-gins?
112
00:05:26,068 --> 00:05:28,071
It's pronounced virgins, Fez.
113
00:05:28,112 --> 00:05:30,407
What?
But, no, but Hyde said...
114
00:05:35,707 --> 00:05:37,626
Oh, you magnificent bastard.
115
00:05:38,879 --> 00:05:40,505
Sorry, buddy.
116
00:05:40,547 --> 00:05:42,508
By the way,
it's pronounced bas-tard.
117
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,681
Fez, if you wanna find virgins,
118
00:05:46,723 --> 00:05:48,475
go where ugly girls
pray to get pretty,
119
00:05:48,517 --> 00:05:50,354
the local House of Worship.
120
00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:53,483
House of Worship?
121
00:05:53,525 --> 00:05:56,280
Are you sure you don't
mean the House of Pies?
122
00:05:58,199 --> 00:06:00,451
No, Fez,
I mean the House of Worship.
123
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,041
I'm going to the House of Pies.
124
00:06:06,836 --> 00:06:09,757
So, how's it going
at Point Place Junior College?
125
00:06:10,842 --> 00:06:13,012
Well,
the education's not too great,
126
00:06:13,054 --> 00:06:16,684
but the upside is
it's next to the Dairy Queen.
127
00:06:16,726 --> 00:06:19,230
First day of class, we all got
free Peanut Buster Parfaits.
128
00:06:19,272 --> 00:06:20,481
Ooh!
129
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:29,162
Hey, guys.
130
00:06:29,203 --> 00:06:30,789
Kelso, what are you doing?
131
00:06:30,831 --> 00:06:33,542
I'm looking for
Brooke's phone number.
132
00:06:33,584 --> 00:06:35,671
I mean, why won't she admit
that we did it?
133
00:06:35,712 --> 00:06:39,927
Kelso, there are racehorses
and there are donkeys,
134
00:06:41,430 --> 00:06:44,516
and you are a great donkey.
You are, like, top donkey.
135
00:06:45,978 --> 00:06:48,522
But she's a racehorse,
and guess what?
136
00:06:49,484 --> 00:06:51,527
She don't want no donkey.
137
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,531
She might.
138
00:06:55,909 --> 00:06:57,535
Look,
we had a great time together,
139
00:06:57,577 --> 00:06:59,456
and not just
'cause of the sex part,
140
00:06:59,498 --> 00:07:02,294
but because we had
a really great time.
141
00:07:02,336 --> 00:07:04,297
Donna, please help me find her.
142
00:07:04,339 --> 00:07:07,385
Okay, I'll give you a hint
about where she works.
143
00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:09,846
It's in a quiet building,
144
00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:12,058
you could try to
check her out on a date,
145
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:14,603
but she's probably
booked for the future.
146
00:07:17,191 --> 00:07:19,110
She's a travel agent?
147
00:07:21,655 --> 00:07:25,578
She translated her love
of books into a career.
148
00:07:26,955 --> 00:07:28,582
She's a translator.
149
00:07:32,588 --> 00:07:35,760
She's the translator,
not me, Donna.
150
00:07:35,801 --> 00:07:38,514
You know, enough
with these brain teasers.
151
00:07:39,516 --> 00:07:40,975
You tell me where Brooke works,
152
00:07:41,017 --> 00:07:45,065
and I'll return your
underpants to safety.
153
00:07:45,107 --> 00:07:48,487
Kelso, aren't you a little old
to be stealing Donna's undies?
154
00:07:49,655 --> 00:07:51,992
A collector never
stops collecting, Eric.
155
00:07:56,707 --> 00:07:59,420
The library, Kelso.
She works in the library.
156
00:07:59,462 --> 00:08:02,216
Now will you put my
underwear back, you perv?
157
00:08:03,259 --> 00:08:04,428
I lied.
158
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:11,563
Wow, those male
actors are gorgeous.
159
00:08:13,566 --> 00:08:17,280
You know, I think that
Robert Redford is so hot.
160
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,074
He's hotter than the sun.
161
00:08:21,953 --> 00:08:23,831
He's extremely handsome.
162
00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:27,670
You know who I think is sexy?
163
00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:32,552
James Caan in The Godfather.
164
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:37,560
Now, if he made me an offer,
I sure couldn't refuse.
165
00:08:38,394 --> 00:08:40,105
Yowza!
166
00:08:43,361 --> 00:08:44,570
Do you mind?
167
00:08:44,612 --> 00:08:45,697
I'm sorry.
168
00:08:47,492 --> 00:08:49,870
I thought we were
having a conversation.
169
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,458
You know what, Steven?
I actually think
170
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,920
that every guy on TV,
and in life,
171
00:08:55,962 --> 00:08:57,381
is hotter than you.
172
00:08:59,676 --> 00:09:01,637
Jackie, I know what
you're doing, okay?
173
00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:04,350
I said Brooke was hot, and
now you're totally insecure.
174
00:09:04,392 --> 00:09:07,437
Oh, I am not insecure, okay?
175
00:09:07,479 --> 00:09:09,440
This is a designer sweater,
176
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:10,693
this is designer eye shadow,
177
00:09:10,734 --> 00:09:12,194
and those are designer shoes,
178
00:09:12,236 --> 00:09:14,740
and they make me
feel incredibly secure.
179
00:09:16,993 --> 00:09:19,830
You know who else I like?
180
00:09:19,872 --> 00:09:22,418
That little fellow
who plays Columbo.
181
00:09:24,588 --> 00:09:26,465
I just wanna give him a bath.
182
00:09:31,932 --> 00:09:34,686
Steven, why can't you just say
that Brooke's not hot?
183
00:09:34,728 --> 00:09:37,064
It's common
relationship courtesy.
184
00:09:37,106 --> 00:09:39,318
If you can't do this,
what will you do when I'm old
185
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,405
and ask you if I have
crow's feet around my eyes?
186
00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:43,491
By the way,
that's already starting.
187
00:09:50,251 --> 00:09:54,591
You've never been in a
relationship, have you, son?
188
00:09:54,633 --> 00:09:58,388
What, when she asked if Brooke was
hot, I should have lied and said, "No"?
189
00:09:58,430 --> 00:10:01,850
Being honest and screwing
yourself is clearly the better plan.
190
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:06,776
Sweetie, white lies
help relationships.
191
00:10:06,817 --> 00:10:11,031
Like, "Kitty, even though
your pot roast was overdone,
192
00:10:11,073 --> 00:10:12,785
"I still loved it."
193
00:10:14,328 --> 00:10:17,833
Oh, for the love of God,
I did love it.
194
00:10:20,044 --> 00:10:22,465
You're a pot roast genius, okay?
195
00:10:23,467 --> 00:10:25,136
It was like eating gold.
196
00:10:26,179 --> 00:10:28,098
So, you're saying lying is good?
197
00:10:28,140 --> 00:10:29,643
Exactly.
198
00:10:31,270 --> 00:10:34,650
Now go do the right thing,
and lie to the woman you love.
199
00:10:36,319 --> 00:10:37,488
Red, this is crazy, right?
200
00:10:37,530 --> 00:10:39,449
Yeah, they're all nuts.
201
00:10:43,037 --> 00:10:44,707
Except you, sweetheart.
202
00:10:51,508 --> 00:10:53,887
Look at all the smart,
lonely girls.
203
00:10:55,806 --> 00:10:58,935
Little ones, big ones. It's
like a virgin pumpkin patch.
204
00:11:09,951 --> 00:11:11,037
Can I help you?
205
00:11:11,079 --> 00:11:13,457
Yes, I'd like
an order of books, please.
206
00:11:15,669 --> 00:11:17,505
Could you be more specific?
207
00:11:17,547 --> 00:11:19,966
Could you be more beautiful?
208
00:11:20,008 --> 00:11:21,845
Could you be more lame?
209
00:11:22,637 --> 00:11:23,765
Yes.
210
00:11:26,184 --> 00:11:28,187
Excuse me, I'm trying to read.
211
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,648
Don't be a sissy.
212
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:32,736
You know what?
213
00:11:32,778 --> 00:11:34,946
Here's a firecracker,
go live a little.
214
00:11:35,282 --> 00:11:37,200
Thanks.
215
00:11:37,242 --> 00:11:41,833
Look, I know why you're here
and I'm sorry, you're not my type.
216
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:45,379
I was high school valedictorian
and you're the antithesis of that.
217
00:11:45,421 --> 00:11:46,964
The anti-who of what?
218
00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:50,178
Exactly.
219
00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:52,557
Okay. No, come on.
Don't be like that, okay?
220
00:11:52,599 --> 00:11:54,769
Look, I really like you,
221
00:11:54,811 --> 00:11:58,022
and I just thought that maybe
we could go out some time,
222
00:11:58,065 --> 00:12:00,945
like, for coffee.
And then, if that went good,
223
00:12:00,985 --> 00:12:02,988
then we could go to a movie.
224
00:12:03,030 --> 00:12:05,701
And then, when we really
start to trust each other,
225
00:12:05,743 --> 00:12:09,290
you can tell my friends how we
did it at the Molly Hatchet concert.
226
00:12:09,332 --> 00:12:12,252
Look, I don't make it
with guys at concerts.
227
00:12:12,294 --> 00:12:14,650
I read two periodicals a week
about the Dewey Decimal system,
228
00:12:14,674 --> 00:12:16,067
which I'm sure
you've never heard of.
229
00:12:16,091 --> 00:12:18,595
Okay, I have heard
of Dewey Decimal.
230
00:12:19,555 --> 00:12:20,975
It's Donald Duck's nephew.
231
00:12:29,403 --> 00:12:31,532
I can't believe Brooke.
232
00:12:31,573 --> 00:12:34,577
I mean, standing there at
the library, totally resisting me.
233
00:12:34,619 --> 00:12:36,330
I can't believe
we have a library.
234
00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,837
I know,
what is it, like, invisible?
235
00:12:42,589 --> 00:12:46,428
No, no, you know that parking
lot where we drink beer in?
236
00:12:46,470 --> 00:12:49,641
Okay, well, you know that wall
that we lean up against?
237
00:12:50,518 --> 00:12:51,937
That's the library.
238
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:53,397
Oh!
239
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:57,236
Well, then guess who has
peed on the library?
240
00:13:00,408 --> 00:13:02,578
You know what?
For the first time in my life,
241
00:13:02,619 --> 00:13:05,916
I hope that there's not a secret
hot girls club, because if there is,
242
00:13:05,957 --> 00:13:08,879
I bet Brooke said awful things
about me at their last meeting.
243
00:13:17,098 --> 00:13:18,225
Order, bitches.
244
00:13:20,562 --> 00:13:23,442
The secret hot girls
club is now in session.
245
00:13:23,483 --> 00:13:26,487
Now, last meeting we
all decided to go braless,
246
00:13:26,529 --> 00:13:29,033
and I just wanna report
that Operation Bazooma Bounce
247
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:30,953
- is driving the boys insane.
- Ah!
248
00:13:34,625 --> 00:13:37,797
Hi, my name is Brooke and
I've been a hot girl for 6 years.
249
00:13:38,631 --> 00:13:40,592
Hi, Brooke.
250
00:13:40,634 --> 00:13:43,806
And I just wanna let everyone know
that Michael Kelso asked me out,
251
00:13:43,847 --> 00:13:46,059
and I resisted his charms
and turned him down.
252
00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:51,083
- But he's irresistible.
- That's what I thought,
but it's a lie.
253
00:13:51,108 --> 00:13:53,193
A lie, I tell you.
254
00:13:53,903 --> 00:13:56,407
Then it's official.
255
00:13:56,449 --> 00:13:59,578
No secret hot girl will ever
date Michael Kelso ever again.
256
00:14:01,247 --> 00:14:03,042
Okay,
that's great, that's great.
257
00:14:03,084 --> 00:14:06,046
Now this calls for
dancing bubble kiss time.
258
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:25,408
Kelso, there is no
secret hot girls club.
259
00:14:26,910 --> 00:14:29,581
Well, of course,
the president won't admit it.
260
00:14:32,544 --> 00:14:35,422
You know, I don't care
if there's a club or not,
261
00:14:35,464 --> 00:14:38,302
dancing bubble kiss time
is just a fabulous idea.
262
00:14:39,805 --> 00:14:41,850
Well, all I know
is that Brooke and I
263
00:14:41,892 --> 00:14:45,354
had a romantic night together
at the concert.
264
00:14:45,396 --> 00:14:47,566
Why is she pretending
like it didn't happen?
265
00:14:47,607 --> 00:14:49,443
Well, maybe she's embarrassed.
266
00:14:49,485 --> 00:14:52,073
I mean, she's used to dating
really brainy guys.
267
00:14:52,114 --> 00:14:54,911
Yeah, not guys who set
their own pants on fire.
268
00:14:56,204 --> 00:14:57,539
On a dare.
269
00:14:58,875 --> 00:15:00,627
And I won a dollar.
270
00:15:02,295 --> 00:15:04,216
Kelso, if you want
Brooke to like you,
271
00:15:04,257 --> 00:15:05,861
you know, maybe you
should go to the library
272
00:15:05,885 --> 00:15:10,183
- and show her
you can be smart.
- I hate the library.
273
00:15:10,225 --> 00:15:13,271
The only good thing about it is
that you can check out Playboys.
274
00:15:13,312 --> 00:15:16,567
I mean, they have every issue
since it started.
275
00:15:16,609 --> 00:15:18,195
Wait, every issue?
276
00:15:19,989 --> 00:15:22,468
Are you telling me that they have
the one with Pamela Sue Martin,
277
00:15:22,492 --> 00:15:26,415
television's Nancy Drew, in a grotto,
straddling the world's luckiest boulder?
278
00:15:32,174 --> 00:15:34,177
They have periodicals, you say?
279
00:15:38,058 --> 00:15:39,559
What is wrong with Steven?
280
00:15:39,601 --> 00:15:41,897
I mean, why won't he just say
Brooke's not hot?
281
00:15:41,939 --> 00:15:44,317
Because he
doesn't know how to lie.
282
00:15:44,776 --> 00:15:46,112
He's an orphan.
283
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:49,908
He never had
a mother to teach him how.
284
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:52,997
I mean, how do I know he
loves me if he doesn't obey me?
285
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:58,672
Well, you've chosen
a strong man, Jackie,
286
00:15:58,713 --> 00:16:00,340
and they don't always obey.
287
00:16:00,381 --> 00:16:03,345
Now, do I think he should have
said that other girl wasn't pretty? Yes.
288
00:16:03,386 --> 00:16:05,682
But you have to
pick your battles.
289
00:16:05,723 --> 00:16:08,352
Wait, no, I wanna be
right all the time.
290
00:16:09,813 --> 00:16:12,317
And you will be.
291
00:16:12,358 --> 00:16:14,862
After a few years they just...
They give up.
292
00:16:17,032 --> 00:16:20,162
Okay, watch.
293
00:16:20,204 --> 00:16:23,583
Red, could you go to the drug store
and get me a Ladies' Home Journal?
294
00:16:24,835 --> 00:16:26,379
But I just...
295
00:16:27,923 --> 00:16:29,383
It's all frosty.
296
00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:33,389
Oh, crap!
297
00:16:37,980 --> 00:16:39,523
Jackpot, my friend.
298
00:16:42,820 --> 00:16:45,657
Not only did I get Nancy Drew,
but I also got Margot Kidder,
299
00:16:45,699 --> 00:16:48,495
Superman's Lois Lane,
in an outfit that,
300
00:16:48,537 --> 00:16:51,541
let's just say, you don't need
x-ray vision to appreciate.
301
00:16:52,752 --> 00:16:54,212
Get those out of here, man.
302
00:16:54,254 --> 00:16:56,841
I'm trying to impress Brooke
with my intelligence.
303
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:58,635
Here she comes.
304
00:16:58,677 --> 00:17:02,349
Say, Eric, this encyclopedia
of scientific terms
305
00:17:02,391 --> 00:17:05,312
has really taught me something.
306
00:17:05,354 --> 00:17:10,694
See, by lifting this encyclopedia
of scientific terms above my head,
307
00:17:10,736 --> 00:17:12,739
I'm using my
body's stored energy,
308
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:16,787
also known as uranium.
309
00:17:19,417 --> 00:17:22,921
Um, actually,
it's known as calories,
310
00:17:22,963 --> 00:17:27,469
but I do believe at some point
you were exposed to radiation.
311
00:17:27,510 --> 00:17:30,266
All right, look, I don't know
what you have against me,
312
00:17:30,308 --> 00:17:33,771
but I'm not leaving here until I
convince you to go out with me.
313
00:17:33,813 --> 00:17:36,317
That's the man who gave me
the firecrackers, Mom.
314
00:17:37,818 --> 00:17:39,112
I gotta run.
315
00:17:41,282 --> 00:17:43,243
You wanna check something out?
316
00:17:46,748 --> 00:17:50,044
No. Is there someone else
that can help me?
317
00:17:50,796 --> 00:17:52,507
Like a man.
318
00:17:55,386 --> 00:17:57,806
So, you wanna check out
those Playboys, or not?
319
00:17:58,933 --> 00:18:00,435
Okay, fine.
320
00:18:01,687 --> 00:18:04,900
I'm a man.
I would like these Playboys.
321
00:18:04,942 --> 00:18:06,819
Well, you can't have them.
322
00:18:09,282 --> 00:18:12,411
I want you to get in your car, buy
some flowers, give them to Donna,
323
00:18:12,453 --> 00:18:15,541
and thank God an actual
live woman lets you touch her.
324
00:18:16,501 --> 00:18:17,794
Yes, ma'am.
325
00:18:20,215 --> 00:18:23,887
Okay, Steven, I think I figured
out a way to end this situation
326
00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:25,138
where everybody wins.
327
00:18:25,180 --> 00:18:27,684
Now, listen to this
question carefully.
328
00:18:27,726 --> 00:18:30,563
Is there anyone you
said was hot, like Brooke,
329
00:18:30,604 --> 00:18:33,317
who you really don't
think is hot, like Brooke?
330
00:18:35,487 --> 00:18:37,240
Well, I could lie and say yes.
331
00:18:37,281 --> 00:18:38,968
Then do it. I don't care
if you don't mean it.
332
00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:40,578
It's the words that count.
333
00:18:43,332 --> 00:18:45,377
Jackie, I'm not gonna lie.
334
00:18:45,419 --> 00:18:48,047
Fine. Then you know what?
I don't know how to fix this.
335
00:18:53,431 --> 00:18:55,600
Pick your battles...
336
00:18:57,811 --> 00:18:59,606
Fine.
337
00:18:59,647 --> 00:19:03,571
Steven, I don't care if you think she's
hot, because that's how you really feel.
338
00:19:03,612 --> 00:19:04,696
Thank you.
339
00:19:08,578 --> 00:19:12,208
Hey, Steven, will you go to the drug
store and get me a Vogue magazine?
340
00:19:13,752 --> 00:19:15,296
But I just...
341
00:19:15,338 --> 00:19:16,631
It's gonna melt.
342
00:19:19,595 --> 00:19:20,637
Crap!
343
00:19:28,483 --> 00:19:31,653
Well, my plan to have
sex with virgins failed.
344
00:19:34,533 --> 00:19:38,289
So I've widened my search
from virgins to everyone.
345
00:19:40,375 --> 00:19:42,962
Basically, you're back to
where you started this morning.
346
00:19:44,213 --> 00:19:46,175
Not really, I had some pie.
347
00:19:47,302 --> 00:19:48,762
I've done less in a day.
348
00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:56,565
Well, Donna, turns out Brooke
doesn't like intelligent men.
349
00:19:59,069 --> 00:20:02,324
Kelso, you didn't have sex
with her, man, just let it go.
350
00:20:04,577 --> 00:20:06,205
Michael, I need to talk to you.
351
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,377
Yeah, about what?
352
00:20:12,339 --> 00:20:14,967
About our night together
at the Molly Hatchet concert.
353
00:20:20,309 --> 00:20:21,728
Excuse me.
354
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:23,731
Burn!
355
00:20:24,940 --> 00:20:26,109
Burn!
356
00:20:26,151 --> 00:20:27,736
Burn! Burn!
357
00:20:32,202 --> 00:20:33,953
Burn! Burn!
358
00:20:40,213 --> 00:20:41,549
Burn.
359
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,680
We totally did it!
360
00:20:47,933 --> 00:20:50,228
Michael, I just
found out I'm pregnant.
361
00:20:57,197 --> 00:20:58,198
I never touched her.
362
00:21:10,550 --> 00:21:12,844
Psst! Kid, hey, see this?
363
00:21:12,886 --> 00:21:14,306
That's a Playboy.
364
00:21:14,347 --> 00:21:16,809
And inside are things
beyond your wildest dreams,
365
00:21:16,850 --> 00:21:19,354
magical, glorious things.
366
00:21:19,396 --> 00:21:21,942
So if I toss it in your book
and you check it out for me,
367
00:21:21,984 --> 00:21:24,154
I'll let you have a look-see.
What do you say?
368
00:21:24,195 --> 00:21:28,076
You're pathetic. Just go
buy a Playboy, you loser.
369
00:21:28,118 --> 00:21:31,665
Loser? Hey, I'm not the one
reading Hardy Boys.
370
00:21:31,706 --> 00:21:34,395
For your information, the stolen money
was hidden in the grandfather clock!
371
00:21:34,419 --> 00:21:35,920
Who's the loser now?
372
00:21:35,944 --> 00:21:37,945
http://hiqve.com/