1
00:00:03,882 --> 00:00:06,175
Hey, Red,
I got a question for you.
2
00:00:06,217 --> 00:00:08,553
My wife says she doesn't want
anything for Valentine's Day.
3
00:00:08,595 --> 00:00:10,640
So I'm off the hook, right?
4
00:00:13,058 --> 00:00:14,811
Let me tell you a little
story.
5
00:00:16,854 --> 00:00:19,524
There was a woman, a newlywed.
6
00:00:19,566 --> 00:00:23,737
And she told her husband,
"Rather than waste money on gifts,
7
00:00:23,779 --> 00:00:27,951
"save for retirement." And
so he never bought her a gift.
8
00:00:27,992 --> 00:00:30,955
Not for Christmas,
birthdays, never.
9
00:00:30,996 --> 00:00:33,791
And 50 years later,
she thanked him.
10
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:38,588
And you know who
that woman was? No.
11
00:00:38,630 --> 00:00:43,510
That woman was the invisible
dancing fairy of Dumb Ass Land.
12
00:00:47,222 --> 00:00:49,015
All women want gifts.
13
00:00:51,101 --> 00:00:54,022
Well, what do you
get a stripper anyway?
14
00:00:56,232 --> 00:00:59,403
Ooh! How about a robe
and a father who gave a damn?
15
00:01:00,989 --> 00:01:03,407
Mrs. Forman,
life's a trade-off.
16
00:01:03,449 --> 00:01:07,162
If her father gave a damn, I
wouldn't have this smile on my face.
17
00:01:08,413 --> 00:01:10,582
Well, Steven,
it is important to keep
18
00:01:10,624 --> 00:01:13,252
romance alive
once you're married.
19
00:01:13,294 --> 00:01:16,422
That's why I bought a present for
Red and I'm sure he has one for me.
20
00:01:16,464 --> 00:01:19,051
Because he loves me and
he knows what I'm capable of.
21
00:01:21,554 --> 00:01:23,723
That's right, honey! Wait
till you see what I got you!
22
00:01:29,688 --> 00:01:31,899
You romantic little devil, you.
23
00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:34,067
Not hardly.
Follow me, rookie.
24
00:01:37,405 --> 00:01:40,743
Ever since I forgot Kitty's
birthday that one year,
25
00:01:40,784 --> 00:01:44,204
I keep a stash of
gifts down here.
26
00:01:44,246 --> 00:01:47,166
That way, even if I forget,
I remember.
27
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,837
Go ahead, I'll spot you one.
28
00:01:53,215 --> 00:01:57,177
Oh, hey, these wool mittens
will be perfect for Sam.
29
00:01:57,219 --> 00:02:00,223
If only they were black,
leather and a bra.
30
00:02:03,435 --> 00:02:06,688
So what are you giving Kitty?
Ah, this needlepoint.
31
00:02:06,730 --> 00:02:09,692
She'll like it because it's
fun, and I'll like it because
32
00:02:09,734 --> 00:02:12,653
it'll keep her occupied
for gigantic chunks of time.
33
00:02:17,325 --> 00:02:21,163
Jackie, dear, thank you
for booking that lovely couple
34
00:02:21,205 --> 00:02:24,125
on our Fools for Love piece.
35
00:02:24,166 --> 00:02:26,377
I know, that guy was so cute.
36
00:02:26,419 --> 00:02:28,648
You know, he said no matter
where he went he always heard
37
00:02:28,672 --> 00:02:30,716
his wife's voice saying,
"I love you."
38
00:02:30,758 --> 00:02:33,719
Ah! Well, apparently
another voice in his head
39
00:02:33,761 --> 00:02:36,139
told him to push her
off a Ferris wheel.
40
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,726
Oh, my God!
41
00:02:39,768 --> 00:02:41,395
Oh, no, no, no, no,
that's horrible!
42
00:02:41,437 --> 00:02:46,233
It's a tragedy! We don't have
a couple for today's show.
43
00:02:46,275 --> 00:02:49,989
You've got three hours to
find another one or you're fired!
44
00:02:52,658 --> 00:02:54,660
Oh, I'm just kidding.
45
00:02:56,329 --> 00:02:57,705
No, I'm not.
46
00:03:00,416 --> 00:03:03,169
Seriously, Jackie,
just kidding about firing you.
47
00:03:09,594 --> 00:03:11,054
Christine St. George's office.
48
00:03:11,096 --> 00:03:13,222
I wasn't kidding.
49
00:03:16,853 --> 00:03:18,771
Psst! Jackie! Come here!
50
00:03:18,813 --> 00:03:20,898
Oh, what do you want?
51
00:03:20,940 --> 00:03:22,818
I wanted to say don't worry.
52
00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:25,194
It'll all work out between
you and Christine.
53
00:03:26,655 --> 00:03:28,448
Oh. Well, thanks.
54
00:03:33,997 --> 00:03:35,540
Christine St. George's office.
55
00:03:35,581 --> 00:03:37,084
You're gonna get fired!
56
00:03:37,126 --> 00:03:39,628
You're gonna get fired!
57
00:03:44,634 --> 00:03:46,302
♪ Hanging out
58
00:03:48,304 --> 00:03:49,932
♪ Down the street
59
00:03:51,893 --> 00:03:53,811
♪ The same old thing
60
00:03:55,354 --> 00:03:56,354
♪ We did last week
61
00:03:58,817 --> 00:04:01,195
♪ Not a thing to do
62
00:04:02,863 --> 00:04:05,533
♪ But talk to you
63
00:04:06,743 --> 00:04:08,411
♪ We're all all right
64
00:04:08,452 --> 00:04:10,205
♪ We're all all right
65
00:04:10,956 --> 00:04:12,416
♪ Hello, Wisconsin! ♪
66
00:04:23,511 --> 00:04:29,852
Hey, record guy. Mr. Record.
Mr. Record Breaker.
67
00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:34,733
Captain Record of
the USS Phonograph.
68
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,696
Donna, Hyde's already
given me a nickname.
69
00:04:38,738 --> 00:04:40,698
It's Mrs. Lady Lovely Locks.
70
00:04:44,035 --> 00:04:47,289
Okay, Mrs. Locks, um,
71
00:04:48,791 --> 00:04:52,003
I was wondering if maybe
you'd like to, I don't know,
72
00:04:52,045 --> 00:04:55,173
like do something with
me tonight, for good old VD.
73
00:04:55,215 --> 00:04:56,382
Valentine's Day!
74
00:05:01,013 --> 00:05:04,934
Not VD.
I am clean as a whistle.
75
00:05:07,229 --> 00:05:10,107
Man, it's really
nice of you to ask
76
00:05:10,149 --> 00:05:11,909
but I've already got plans
with someone else.
77
00:05:11,942 --> 00:05:13,653
Maybe a rain check?
78
00:05:13,694 --> 00:05:17,991
Sure, I love rain checks. In
fact, I love checking for rain.
79
00:05:19,534 --> 00:05:21,014
I'm gonna go check
for rain right now.
80
00:05:24,581 --> 00:05:26,584
That's the office.
There's no rain in there.
81
00:05:30,213 --> 00:05:32,132
Clear out here too!
82
00:05:38,430 --> 00:05:42,686
Ugh! Fez! I have to find a happy couple for
Christine to interview today or I'm fired.
83
00:05:42,727 --> 00:05:45,856
What about Red and Miss Kitty?
84
00:05:45,897 --> 00:05:47,584
Ugh! I might as well
just book that painting
85
00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,568
of the old lady and the
geezer with the pitchfork!
86
00:05:51,029 --> 00:05:52,947
I see where you're
going with this, Jackie,
87
00:05:52,989 --> 00:05:55,366
and don't worry,
if it will save your job,
88
00:05:55,408 --> 00:05:57,077
I will pretend to
be your boyfriend.
89
00:05:58,453 --> 00:05:59,788
We should probably practice.
90
00:05:59,830 --> 00:06:01,666
Oh! Get off me!
91
00:06:01,708 --> 00:06:02,834
I was trying to help!
92
00:06:02,876 --> 00:06:04,061
You were trying to cop a feel!
93
00:06:04,085 --> 00:06:06,254
You didn't let me finish.
94
00:06:06,296 --> 00:06:09,591
I was trying to help myself
to a handful of your boob.
95
00:06:13,179 --> 00:06:15,140
But I would like to help.
96
00:06:15,182 --> 00:06:17,976
No, Fez, if Christine finds
out we're faking it, I'm fired.
97
00:06:18,018 --> 00:06:19,769
I can sell it, baby.
98
00:06:19,811 --> 00:06:22,648
Besides, interracial
couples are sexy.
99
00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:26,694
Because it's illegal.
100
00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:32,076
Fez, it's not illegal for people
of two different races to date.
101
00:06:32,868 --> 00:06:34,411
It's not?
Uh-uh.
102
00:06:36,081 --> 00:06:37,582
Freaking Hyde!
103
00:06:40,793 --> 00:06:42,088
Hey.
Hey.
104
00:06:44,548 --> 00:06:46,384
Look, I just wanna
make sure you didn't get
105
00:06:46,424 --> 00:06:48,010
the wrong idea
when I asked you out,
106
00:06:48,052 --> 00:06:51,472
because I was asking
you out as like... As friends.
107
00:06:51,514 --> 00:06:53,267
Well, I'm glad you
consider me a friend,
108
00:06:53,308 --> 00:06:55,978
because when I said I had plans
earlier, I actually have a date.
109
00:06:56,020 --> 00:06:58,022
Oh.
110
00:06:58,064 --> 00:07:00,084
And I was thinking maybe you could
help me out and give me some advice.
111
00:07:00,108 --> 00:07:02,111
You know, from the
female perspective.
112
00:07:02,152 --> 00:07:06,615
I'd ask my cousin but she's
kind of into me. It's weird.
113
00:07:06,656 --> 00:07:08,868
Sure, yeah. I mean,
what do you have planned?
114
00:07:08,910 --> 00:07:13,873
I was thinking, we start sweet
with strawberry wine.
115
00:07:13,915 --> 00:07:17,502
Then, we get a tad naughty
with dirty word Mad Libs.
116
00:07:19,213 --> 00:07:21,340
And then, hold on, what's this?
117
00:07:21,382 --> 00:07:24,428
Tickets to the Monster
Truck Mud Mayhem!
118
00:07:26,554 --> 00:07:29,516
Wow, Randy, that sounds
like a great idea,
119
00:07:29,558 --> 00:07:31,685
if you're dating Granny from
The Beverly Hillbillies.
120
00:07:33,813 --> 00:07:36,442
It's just there's something I
don't like about the usual roses,
121
00:07:36,483 --> 00:07:38,777
fancy dinner and
theater tickets.
122
00:07:38,819 --> 00:07:41,113
It's so expensive.
123
00:07:43,783 --> 00:07:46,661
Hey, Leo, what's your
idea of a romantic date?
124
00:07:48,330 --> 00:07:49,915
November 13th.
125
00:07:53,043 --> 00:07:55,504
But this year it's ruined,
man. I gotta go to the dentist.
126
00:08:01,511 --> 00:08:06,517
Well, I hope you two lovebirds are ready
to tell us all about your relationship.
127
00:08:06,558 --> 00:08:08,769
We sure are.
We've been dating so long,
128
00:08:08,811 --> 00:08:10,062
we finish each other's...
129
00:08:10,104 --> 00:08:12,565
Sentences.
130
00:08:12,607 --> 00:08:14,567
Well, I was going to say
sandwiches, but whatever.
131
00:08:15,568 --> 00:08:17,237
Okay, here we go.
132
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:24,078
What's Up Wisconsin?
133
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:29,168
It's time for our annual Fools for
Love segment, and with me today
134
00:08:29,210 --> 00:08:34,549
is my assistant, Jackie
Burkhart, and her boyfriend, Fez...
135
00:08:36,218 --> 00:08:38,637
How do you pronounce
your last name?
136
00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:41,349
Oh, the first five
K's are silent.
137
00:08:43,518 --> 00:08:46,855
See how they look at each other!
138
00:08:46,897 --> 00:08:50,901
It's just the way Sonny used to look
at me while Cher was in make-up.
139
00:08:52,278 --> 00:08:54,572
So, tell us how you two met.
140
00:08:56,241 --> 00:08:57,367
Well, um...
141
00:08:57,409 --> 00:09:00,079
I'll take this one, baby.
142
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,541
It was the third grade. Jackie
came to school with pink eye.
143
00:09:03,582 --> 00:09:07,587
All the kids teased her, so I
rubbed her eye and infected myself,
144
00:09:08,838 --> 00:09:10,924
so she wouldn't be alone.
145
00:09:10,965 --> 00:09:15,596
I guess you can say it was love
at first sight! Pink sight, that is.
146
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:22,479
Well, I'm sure my viewers are dying
to know the secret of your happiness.
147
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,399
It's very simple.
148
00:09:25,441 --> 00:09:29,737
We make out every chance
we get. Kiss me, baby!
149
00:09:29,779 --> 00:09:34,535
No! No, no, baby, baby,
I have a cold sore.
150
00:09:34,577 --> 00:09:37,662
Well, baby, that wouldn't be the first
time I got a disease from you, baby.
151
00:09:39,457 --> 00:09:41,876
No, no, baby, I just...
I ate some garlic bread.
152
00:09:41,918 --> 00:09:44,337
Oh, baby, that's perfect!
I just ate spaghetti, baby!
153
00:09:44,379 --> 00:09:46,256
Oh, baby!
Baby?
154
00:09:46,298 --> 00:09:47,341
Baby!
Baby!
155
00:09:47,383 --> 00:09:49,009
Baby?
Baby!
156
00:09:49,051 --> 00:09:53,013
Oh, come on, Jackie. Give
your man a Valentine's Day kiss!
157
00:10:01,649 --> 00:10:04,693
Whoo!
Call the fire department!
158
00:10:06,404 --> 00:10:08,657
You can't fake
passion like that.
159
00:10:09,450 --> 00:10:11,285
We'll be right back.
160
00:10:14,705 --> 00:10:18,751
Wow! Well,
that was terrific.
161
00:10:18,793 --> 00:10:21,088
Jackie, thank you.
You outdid yourself, darling.
162
00:10:21,130 --> 00:10:25,301
And Fez, as usual, I didn't
understand a word you said.
163
00:10:28,514 --> 00:10:31,891
Fez! We did it!
Oh, you totally saved my job.
164
00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:36,063
Yes, and you totally were not kidding
when you said you ate garlic bread.
165
00:10:43,197 --> 00:10:45,740
Oh! There's my valentine.
166
00:10:47,618 --> 00:10:50,872
Oh!
See, now, the card is a heart.
167
00:10:50,913 --> 00:10:53,166
Actually, it's your heart,
and it's saying,
168
00:10:53,208 --> 00:10:55,127
"Hi, Red, remember
when I attacked you?"
169
00:10:57,547 --> 00:11:01,509
It's a reminder to cut back
on fatty, fried foods.
170
00:11:01,551 --> 00:11:04,804
Well, that's real cute.
I'll tell you what.
171
00:11:04,846 --> 00:11:07,098
You close your eyes
and start counting
172
00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:08,620
and I'll be right
back with your gift!
173
00:11:10,353 --> 00:11:14,065
One, two, three, four...
174
00:11:19,154 --> 00:11:20,738
What the hell?
175
00:11:24,743 --> 00:11:26,745
Oh, no!
176
00:11:28,415 --> 00:11:33,254
...23, 24, 25, 26,
177
00:11:34,796 --> 00:11:39,302
27, 28, 29, 30,
178
00:11:39,344 --> 00:11:42,972
31, 32, 33...
179
00:11:59,825 --> 00:12:00,825
Huh?
180
00:12:03,121 --> 00:12:05,541
Miss St. George,
are you okay?
181
00:12:05,583 --> 00:12:09,836
Yes, this happens
to me every Valentine's Day.
182
00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:14,175
I see a couple in
love and it reminds me
183
00:12:14,217 --> 00:12:16,844
that I am missing the one thing
184
00:12:16,886 --> 00:12:20,807
that every woman needs
to feel good about herself.
185
00:12:20,849 --> 00:12:22,851
A friend that's fatter then you?
186
00:12:25,063 --> 00:12:29,067
Love! I sacrificed
love for my career
187
00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:33,822
and sometimes I think I
maybe did the wrong thing.
188
00:12:34,991 --> 00:12:36,825
Have a drink with me.
189
00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:41,831
Really?
190
00:12:41,873 --> 00:12:44,627
Tell me all about yourself.
191
00:12:44,669 --> 00:12:46,879
Who you are,
what makes you tick.
192
00:12:48,923 --> 00:12:50,717
Well, um...
No!
193
00:12:52,386 --> 00:12:53,929
Let's go back to me.
194
00:12:56,307 --> 00:12:59,227
I was born in a small hamlet
195
00:12:59,269 --> 00:13:02,939
just outside a little place
I like to call New York.
196
00:13:06,068 --> 00:13:10,573
And so I returned
safely to base camp,
197
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:14,869
that half-frozen
Sherpa on my back.
198
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,959
There's a famous
Tibetan folksong about it.
199
00:13:22,212 --> 00:13:23,797
Wow. You're incredible.
200
00:13:24,297 --> 00:13:25,757
So are you.
201
00:13:27,259 --> 00:13:29,094
Here's to you, dear.
202
00:13:29,136 --> 00:13:31,138
No, to you,
Miss St. George.
203
00:13:32,306 --> 00:13:34,892
Well, that's what I meant.
204
00:13:36,978 --> 00:13:40,316
Why on God's green earth
would I drink to you?
205
00:13:41,984 --> 00:13:43,778
You're cut off.
206
00:13:49,368 --> 00:13:51,078
So do I look okay?
207
00:13:51,119 --> 00:13:54,541
I just wanna make sure my outfit doesn't
send the wrong message to my date.
208
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:57,210
Okay, well, what message
are you trying to send?
209
00:13:57,252 --> 00:14:00,548
I'd like it to say,
"Hi, my name's Randy.
210
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:04,510
"I'm a fun-loving yet
slightly naughty guy.
211
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:07,431
"The little boy in me is insecure,
but the man in me is cocky,
212
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:11,351
"giving me a playfully heady
mix of humility and aloofness.
213
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,022
"I like you. Let's party!"
214
00:14:17,442 --> 00:14:21,154
I think you are asking a little too
much from a jacket, but go have fun.
215
00:14:22,448 --> 00:14:25,367
Okay, Donna,
your valentine's here!
216
00:14:26,827 --> 00:14:29,289
I thought we'd start with
some hangman, then move into
217
00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:34,419
something that really gets
the pulse racing, like Yahtzee.
218
00:14:34,461 --> 00:14:37,548
All right, just so long as when you
get Yahtzee you don't yell, "Poopsie!"
219
00:14:38,883 --> 00:14:40,551
That's not a promise I can make.
220
00:14:42,930 --> 00:14:43,972
Ooh, pizza!
221
00:14:48,436 --> 00:14:50,563
Oh, you're back.
222
00:14:50,605 --> 00:14:53,858
Hope your car's not blocking the
driveway. We're expecting a pizza.
223
00:14:55,736 --> 00:14:59,406
Donna, will you go out with me
on a big Valentine's Day date?
224
00:15:01,909 --> 00:15:03,703
What about the other girl?
225
00:15:03,745 --> 00:15:05,831
There is no other girl.
226
00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:07,992
I just think you're hot
and I want to go out with you.
227
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,209
Oh!
228
00:15:13,088 --> 00:15:16,009
I'm her father and
I'm standing right here!
229
00:15:18,052 --> 00:15:20,639
Here, Mr. Pinciotti.
Pizza's on me.
230
00:15:22,432 --> 00:15:24,101
Have her home by sunrise.
231
00:15:30,526 --> 00:15:32,027
Hey, Kitty.
Oh.
232
00:15:34,446 --> 00:15:36,114
Hi, Red.
233
00:15:36,156 --> 00:15:38,618
Sorry I didn't get
around to making dinner,
234
00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:41,663
but I was too
busy counting to 956.
235
00:15:44,082 --> 00:15:47,294
Well, it's gonna be worth it,
'cause I found your gift.
236
00:15:47,336 --> 00:15:53,218
Oh! Look at that.
Pack of gum. Tire gauge.
237
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:57,056
Actually, the gum
was for me. Red!
238
00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,977
Kitty, you always said
it's the thought that counts.
239
00:16:01,019 --> 00:16:02,896
Oh, I said that to
Eric when he was five
240
00:16:02,937 --> 00:16:05,106
and he gave me that
stupid macaroni frame.
241
00:16:06,692 --> 00:16:09,737
You! What did you do?
242
00:16:12,407 --> 00:16:15,785
I'm sorry, Red. I was down
there picking out a gift for Sam,
243
00:16:15,827 --> 00:16:18,121
and she caught me and
assumed everything was for her.
244
00:16:18,163 --> 00:16:21,333
And she started
kissing me everywhere,
245
00:16:21,375 --> 00:16:24,880
and I just handed everything
over to her. That's her power, man.
246
00:16:26,130 --> 00:16:29,426
Good God, Steven,
the whole stash?
247
00:16:29,467 --> 00:16:31,763
Look, I know I owe you
an apology, but can it wait?
248
00:16:31,804 --> 00:16:34,974
'Cause Sam just sent me up here
to grab some whipped cream, so...
249
00:16:37,476 --> 00:16:38,771
Sorry.
250
00:16:41,982 --> 00:16:44,526
Okay, what were you
two talking about?
251
00:16:47,781 --> 00:16:52,912
Well, Kitty, I had a stash of gifts
down there for every occasion.
252
00:16:52,954 --> 00:16:57,124
That way, if I forgot to buy you
something, I'd still be covered.
253
00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:00,336
You buy my gifts in bulk?
254
00:17:02,505 --> 00:17:07,595
No, it's more of
a vast inventory of love.
255
00:17:12,851 --> 00:17:17,773
Well, you're about to get a vast
inventory of my foot in your ass!
256
00:17:19,776 --> 00:17:22,320
Yeah! I can do that too!
257
00:17:34,542 --> 00:17:39,380
Wow. So this was
for me all along?
258
00:17:40,133 --> 00:17:41,801
Yeah.
259
00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:45,387
For one day I wanted to transform
this crappy little record store
260
00:17:45,429 --> 00:17:47,265
into a crappy little bistro.
261
00:17:50,519 --> 00:17:51,895
Thanks.
262
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:58,319
So, when I asked you out, why did
you pretend to have another date?
263
00:17:58,361 --> 00:18:01,490
Donna, I've wanted to
ask you out for a long time.
264
00:18:01,532 --> 00:18:03,159
And then you kind
of beat me to it
265
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,952
and I'm kind of
a traditional guy.
266
00:18:04,994 --> 00:18:07,539
I like to make the first move.
267
00:18:07,580 --> 00:18:12,210
But if you wanted to make the
second move, well, you're in luck.
268
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:16,132
I'm not wearing a bra.
269
00:18:20,260 --> 00:18:22,222
That's good to know.
270
00:18:29,981 --> 00:18:33,860
Hey! I just had
the best meal, man!
271
00:18:35,278 --> 00:18:39,449
Somebody left two whole
steak dinners in there!
272
00:18:39,491 --> 00:18:43,329
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm
off to the monster truck show.
273
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:52,423
Would you just listen?
274
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,466
Oh, Red, I'd love to
talk to you but I have to
275
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,553
check the pressure in my tires.
276
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,728
Hey, Red, Kitty told Sam
the presents weren't for her.
277
00:19:03,770 --> 00:19:05,354
Now I'm kind of in trouble.
278
00:19:05,396 --> 00:19:07,523
So I got us each a bouquet
of flowers for our ladies.
279
00:19:09,818 --> 00:19:13,948
Kitty, I got you roses!
See how it feels, dumbass?
280
00:19:20,247 --> 00:19:22,665
Jackie, come in. Please.
281
00:19:24,127 --> 00:19:27,671
I just wanna thank you
for yesterday.
282
00:19:27,713 --> 00:19:31,135
I feel we really bonded,
283
00:19:31,176 --> 00:19:35,013
as much as a star
can bond with a commoner.
284
00:19:36,766 --> 00:19:39,018
Well, I'm really
glad that we talked.
285
00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:41,395
You know, I got to see
there's a real person in there.
286
00:19:41,437 --> 00:19:44,191
Someone with hopes
and fears and emotions.
287
00:19:44,233 --> 00:19:47,486
Well, I'm only human.
288
00:19:47,527 --> 00:19:52,617
And you snuck a rare peek
behind my iron curtain, didn't you?
289
00:19:54,577 --> 00:19:57,039
I know. You know, I really
feel like I got to know you better.
290
00:19:57,081 --> 00:19:59,959
Yes, you did,
and so you're fired.
291
00:20:01,752 --> 00:20:03,337
Wait, what?
292
00:20:03,378 --> 00:20:08,177
I cannot have an employee
know so much about me.
293
00:20:08,218 --> 00:20:13,724
And since your TV career is
finished, may I suggest bartending?
294
00:20:13,766 --> 00:20:16,186
You pour a mean Scotch, lady.
295
00:20:18,605 --> 00:20:21,859
No, no, no, this isn't fair.
I worked my butt off for you.
296
00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:24,445
Thank you.
Out you go. Go on.
297
00:20:26,239 --> 00:20:27,824
Go on.
298
00:20:27,866 --> 00:20:30,660
Okay, all right, you know
what? Nobody here likes you.
299
00:20:30,702 --> 00:20:33,873
They only pretend to like you
because you're famous.
300
00:20:33,914 --> 00:20:37,251
And I pretend to like them
because they bring me lunch.
301
00:20:38,753 --> 00:20:40,547
Oh, God!
302
00:20:40,588 --> 00:20:44,301
You are a crazy, bitter lady with
a hole where your heart should be!
303
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:48,973
Now, is that supposed to hurt
me? I have a mug that says that.
304
00:20:53,896 --> 00:20:56,606
Those shoes are so last season!
305
00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:00,945
Rot in hell,
you worthless maggot!
306
00:21:07,536 --> 00:21:09,372
Well, I guess that's it.
307
00:21:09,413 --> 00:21:11,790
Oh, I promised
myself I wouldn't cry.
308
00:21:11,832 --> 00:21:13,252
What do you know, I didn't.
309
00:21:15,503 --> 00:21:17,339
Okay, look, Christine
is obviously looking
310
00:21:17,381 --> 00:21:19,592
for a new assistant, so I
put in a good word for you.
311
00:21:19,633 --> 00:21:22,845
Really? Even though I was
so mean to you? Wow, thanks.
312
00:21:22,887 --> 00:21:24,430
Mmm-hmm.
313
00:21:29,270 --> 00:21:31,105
What's Up Wisconsin.
314
00:21:31,146 --> 00:21:34,192
I licked your phone!
I licked your phone!
315
00:21:34,216 --> 00:21:36,216
http://hiqve.com/