1 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:16,099 Will this day ever end? 2 00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:19,561 Yesterday did. But today's Friday. So, no. 3 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,986 Oh, God, it's Destroy and Giveback. 4 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,947 - Yeah, why do they call them that? - You're about to find out. 5 00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:32,073 Hey, Foreplay. 6 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,034 Ohh! 7 00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:36,745 I believe this is yours. 8 00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:40,332 - You broke his pencil. That was great! - And you gave it back. 9 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,918 All right, enough horseplay. 10 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,211 Pipe down. 11 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:46,797 I said, pipe down! 12 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:51,385 Now, I've got an announcement before study hall. 13 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:55,014 Whoever burned their initials in the football field, 14 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:58,893 I hope you're happy with yourself, punk. 15 00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:02,813 There will be no football practice today until we've reseeded. 16 00:01:02,855 --> 00:01:05,691 And I've watched that team, I'm not impressed, boy. 17 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:09,028 Let me tell you, they need all the practice they can get. 18 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,072 On a happier not... 19 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,240 Eric? 20 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:17,326 Donna? 21 00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:21,122 Do you need something to do? 22 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:24,334 Actually, we need to be excused. 23 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:27,004 Donna and I are taking pictures for the yearbook. 24 00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:28,463 Yeah. 25 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,089 If you say so, Eric. 26 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,302 You wouldn't lie. 27 00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:38,348 Well, I might. 28 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:49,192 This is great. Eric Forman skips class. 29 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:52,071 Yeah, well, danger is my middle name. 30 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,240 Why are we moving? 31 00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:59,954 - Mommy. - What are you guys doing in here? 32 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,790 What are you guys doing in here? 33 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:05,500 I cut class. 34 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,630 Yeah, right. So was there like a fire drill or something? 35 00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,048 No, look, I do bad things. 36 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:14,969 Look, I've ditched class before. 37 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:17,220 Is Opie getting angry? 38 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:20,474 What did I tell you about calling me Opie? 39 00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:22,159 Opie, look out for that keg in the middle of the road! 40 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,197 Wow! 41 00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,034 It is a keg. 42 00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,160 Of beer. 43 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,621 It must be a sign. 44 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:44,581 Of beer. 45 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,627 Oh, that's it. I'm cutting class every day. 46 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,174 ♪ Hanging out 47 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,595 ♪ Down the street 48 00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:02,181 ♪ The same old thing 49 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,853 ♪ We did last week 50 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:11,066 ♪ Not a thing to do 51 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:14,611 ♪ But talk to you 52 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,571 ♪ Whoa, yeah ♪ 53 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:21,200 Hello, Wisconsin! 54 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:31,712 How did you find it? 55 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:34,381 We were driving down the road, man, and there she was. 56 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:39,427 Oh, it was the beer in the headlights. 57 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:46,226 That is my first American joke. 58 00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:49,813 Wow. How often do you find a mysterious keg of free beer? 59 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,231 Only once in a while. 60 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,402 You're right, Forman. Man, you are absolutely right. 61 00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,696 When God gives you a keg, you've gotta... 62 00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,114 Kill a virgin. 63 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,535 No. 64 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,247 Throw a party. 65 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:11,793 Whoa! 66 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,588 Go for it, Eric. 67 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:17,841 Yeah, we'll throw a party. Gonna charge 2 bucks a head. 68 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,384 2 bucks a head. 69 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,554 A keg is equivalent to seven cases, that's 168 beers. 70 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,907 If we each drink three beers a piece... 71 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,600 - No way. Sophomores gonna drink one, maybe. - True. 72 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,810 Yeah. And the freshman, he's gonna drink a half. 73 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,898 So that averages out to 1.5 beers per person, 74 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,692 which means we can invite 112 people. That's 224 bucks. 75 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:37,819 Cash. 76 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:40,280 Which is decent. 77 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:45,306 Okay, grab some ice out of the deep freeze, I'll grab the tub. 78 00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:48,122 That is one sweet mama. 79 00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:49,414 Yeah. 80 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,000 Hey, gang. 81 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:54,335 Oh, oh, don't mind me. 82 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:56,130 Just came down to do an emergency presoak 83 00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:57,714 on my nurse's uniform. 84 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,635 You remember Mr. Wilbur, the fireman? 85 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:05,222 Well, he came in today with a sebaceous cyst, 86 00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:07,933 which is a, um, a pocket of fluid 87 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:12,562 that's kind of like a pussy bath oil bead under the skin. 88 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,732 And you think it's solid, but if you take an instrument 89 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:18,485 and you pierce the core 90 00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:22,030 and then you apply pressure with your thumb... 91 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,324 Well, hi, snicklefritz, what are you doing with the tub? 92 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,828 Oh. The tub. 93 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:31,331 We were just working on a class project. 94 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,084 We're making a volcano. 95 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:36,962 Snicklefritz. 96 00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:42,341 Out of ice? Well, I think it might melt. 97 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:45,887 You heard her. Let's move it, gang. 98 00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:46,930 Okay, well, have fun. 99 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,267 Guys, we've got to get the keg out of here. 100 00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:52,644 Where are we having the party? 101 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,230 Beats me. If you guys need me I'll be with Jackie 102 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,982 over at our secret make-out place. 103 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,901 - Secret make-out place. - It's this vacant house over on Sherman. 104 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,821 I mean, this place is great. It's totally private. 105 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,490 I mean, you can get away with about anything there. 106 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,868 So, if you guys find a place for that keg, let me know. 107 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,334 I've got an idea! 108 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,839 That's a Sylvania, isn't it, Red? 109 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,399 You didn't buy that in my store, did you? 110 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,013 No, Bob, I got a good deal on it. 111 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,435 You got me. 112 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,105 - You got me, Red. - Yeah. 113 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,983 Well, I am just so excited. 114 00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:42,027 Rich Man, Poor Man. 115 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,904 I missed the first episode. 116 00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:45,697 Here's the irony of the show, Kitty. 117 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,909 The rich, safe guy is boring. 118 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,995 It's the poor, rugged one, played by the very talented Nick Nolte 119 00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:53,454 who is so exciting. 120 00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,208 Well, super. 121 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,625 Now, who would like a drink? 122 00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:58,960 Ooh! 123 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,587 Let's do daiquiris. 124 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,049 Ooh, I don't know if we have enough ice. 125 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,424 Eric took a whole tub full. 126 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:08,970 He took a tub of ice? 127 00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:12,432 Oh, the kids are making a volcano. 128 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,478 Right, that's why Donna left with all the plastic cups. 129 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,403 Plastic cups? 130 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,446 Sure, plastic volcano cups. 131 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,410 If I didn't know better, I'd say they were having a kegger. 132 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,454 Oh, jeez! 133 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:36,497 Let's go, Bob. 134 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,501 Ooh, Rich Man, Poor Man, I love it. 135 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,462 I just hope I don't get too emotional. 136 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,465 Oh, so do I. 137 00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:48,802 Those kids could be anywhere. 138 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,972 Needle, meet haystack. 139 00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:55,809 Look, they left the house in a wood-paneled ocean liner. 140 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,477 We should be able to find them. 141 00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:02,523 Yep, it's a real asphalt jungle out here. 142 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,484 The sun goes down, the rats come out. 143 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,279 I lost my mailbox last year. 144 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,283 Oh, yeah. You know what it is. 145 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,410 The evil spilling over from Sheboygan. 146 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:19,416 How many stories do you suppose there are in this naked burg? 147 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:24,129 Eight, Bob. There are eight. 148 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:29,843 Michael, this is our secret make-out place. 149 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:32,887 I did not swipe the key from my mother's real estate office 150 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,473 so that you could have a party. 151 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,142 I know it's like a bonus. 152 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,893 And I'm doing it for you, baby. 153 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:41,812 Okay. 154 00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:51,198 Empty pool, empty house, full keg. 155 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,661 You sure know how to show a girl a good time. 156 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,247 Yeah, well, I don't color outside the lines often, 157 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,541 but when I do, jump back, Loretta. 158 00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:06,546 I don't care when you ate, Fez, get in the pool now. 159 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,550 If I get a cramp, it will be on your head. 160 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:13,553 Okay. 161 00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,264 Hurry up and drink your keg. 162 00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,558 Hurry up and drink a keg? 163 00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,644 Jackie, will you just mellow out? 164 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:25,273 I mean, this rules. We've got a keg, and soon everybody's gonna be here. 165 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:28,693 - Everybody? - Everybody who matters. 166 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:32,406 And for the first time, Jackie, that includes you. 167 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,741 No, get away from me! 168 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,204 You heard her, let's drink beer. 169 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,872 - Me first. - No way, I spotted it. 170 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,708 No, I saw it, too, I just didn't say anything. 171 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,419 You saw a keg and you didn't say anything? 172 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:47,837 Back of the line. 173 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,299 All right, how do you get the beer out? 174 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:52,967 - Through the tap. - What tap? 175 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,305 No! 176 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:09,609 Okay, we really need a tap here. 177 00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,612 I got my Swiss Army knife. 178 00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:16,199 Oh, great, we can whittle the beer out. 179 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,911 All right, look, they sell taps at the liquor store. 180 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,205 Yeah, and who's got the money to buy it, huh? 181 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,337 Why would I bring money to our secret make-out place, Michael? 182 00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:30,838 Okay, I've got my gas money. 183 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,800 No, Eric, we're not going to take your gas money. 184 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,718 Hey, it doesn't matter. 185 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,405 By the end of the night, we'll have made over $200. 186 00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:38,597 Yeah. 187 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,974 Michael, how are we gonna make $200? 188 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,058 I don't know. 189 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:45,019 Hey, who's buying the tap? 190 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,229 You buy, I'll fly. 191 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,648 No, Michael, you are... Michael, come back here! 192 00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,900 Michael, I'm talking to you. Michael! 193 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,656 Welcome to the pool. I am your host, Fez. 194 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,660 $2, please. 195 00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,538 What is going on? 196 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,141 I didn't want to tell you before, Jackie, 197 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,667 but we've taken it upon ourselves to help your mom 198 00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,961 show off the house at 2 bucks a head. 199 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,214 He's lying to Jackie, man. 200 00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:15,800 I lie to Jackie. 201 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,261 You know, it seems to me that the scrawny little neighbor boy 202 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,639 is willing to engage in criminal acts 203 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:22,140 for that saucy redhead next door. 204 00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:27,270 Shut up. How do you know he's not doing it to impress his friends? 205 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,730 You know, peer pressure. 206 00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:32,609 Because his friends aren't saucy. 207 00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,572 Kelso's saucy. 208 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:40,074 Kelso? Please, I'm saucier than Kelso. 209 00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,289 ♪ Then the door burst open wide 210 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,667 ♪ And my daddy stepped inside 211 00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:50,960 ♪ And he kissed my mama's face 212 00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:52,462 ♪ And he brushed her tears away 213 00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:55,465 ♪ The night Chicago died ♪ 214 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,551 Would you turn that damn thing off? 215 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,179 Keep your eyes peeled for that Vista Cruiser. 216 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:03,806 Okey dokey. 217 00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:11,523 Sorry. 218 00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:19,780 Hey. See you got some new steins here. 219 00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,787 Hi, I'm 25. 220 00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:32,711 I know I look young, but my dad asked me to come down here 221 00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:34,629 and pick up a tap for his keg. 222 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:38,132 And, uh, he's 43, so we're both legal. No problem there. 223 00:12:39,758 --> 00:12:42,970 Uh, I'm not gonna be drinking the beer or anything. 224 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,181 'Cause I don't believe in it, but no offense to you. 225 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:47,663 - I think selling liquor is a great thing. - Yeah, here you go. 226 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:51,563 Yeah. 227 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:56,150 - 'Cause I'm 25, right? - 'Cause you got money. 228 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,069 Yeah, but I am 25. 229 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,071 Don't need to be. Can't drink a tap. 230 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,657 No, I can prove it you. I got my IDs out in the wallet. 231 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,492 Happens all the time. Take care. 232 00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,077 - Yeah, but I... - Leave, now. 233 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,040 Yeah. 234 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:18,506 Kelshmo. Whatcha got there? 235 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,675 Boy, that was really funny, 236 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,843 that thing you did with my name, Kelshmo. I gotta go. 237 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,643 Oh! Aww. 238 00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,352 I believe this is yours. 239 00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:36,441 - You broke his thing. - And you gave it back. 240 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,276 - Yeah, that was great! - Yeah! 241 00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:43,030 So you see what I'm saying about the poor man? 242 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:46,367 Yes, you have made your point. Many times. 243 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:49,120 He's a bad boy, he's had some rough breaks, 244 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,414 but he isn't bad in his soul. 245 00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:57,044 Okay. Okay. Enough daiquiris for you. 246 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,634 Kitty, what do you look for in a man? 247 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,136 Oh, well, I'm married. 248 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,180 I'm kind of through looking. 249 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:10,975 Kitty, you can always look. It helps you to fantasize. 250 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:14,228 Like. Some nights, I'm doing the news with Walter Cronkite. 251 00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:18,941 Okay, I'm just... 252 00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:21,152 You know, I'm gonna finish your daiquiri. 253 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,159 - It's broken. - I got duct tape. 254 00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:33,832 Duct tape? Do you know how much pressure runs through that tap? 255 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,167 I got a whole roll of duct tape. 256 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,295 I can't work like this. 257 00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,589 Forman, you need to get your dad's tap now. 258 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:44,676 My dad doesn't have a tap. 259 00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:47,970 Red's got bicentennial swizzle sticks. 260 00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:50,306 He's got fake lemons with real lemon juice. 261 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,726 He's got toothpicks shaped like swords. 262 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,728 Red Forman is a cocktail dad. 263 00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:59,190 And cocktail dads have beer taps. 264 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,693 Yeah, come on, Eric, we never ask you for anything. 265 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,862 You guys ask me for everything. 266 00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:06,280 So, what's one more thing? 267 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,867 No, forget it. I've done enough today already. 268 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,117 Count me out. 269 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:15,956 Hey, Kelshmo, what, your tap is broken? 270 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:19,919 Why'd you do something stupid like buy a stupid, broken tap? 271 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,379 What are you, stupid? 272 00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:24,924 It wasn't broken until you broke it. 273 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:29,929 Oh, man. 274 00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:34,225 Don't beat yourself up. You had no way of knowing. 275 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,436 - Anyways, we gave it back. - Yeah, broken. 276 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:39,063 Hey, lay off him, all right? He feels bad enough already. 277 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,441 - Oh, he should because he's a moron. - What did you say? 278 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,526 I said that you're both morons. 279 00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,379 What are you going to do? You're gonna beat me up? 280 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,548 What, you weigh 400 pounds together? It doesn't matter. 281 00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:50,199 The fact is that the tap is broken, and it's your fault. 282 00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:51,284 Morons! 283 00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:57,498 You are so rude. 284 00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,125 Give us our 4 bucks back. 285 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,166 Okay. Fez. 286 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:05,380 Familiar? 287 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:14,974 Wow, Eric, you just tore their money. 288 00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:17,226 And gave it back. That was great. 289 00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:18,686 That was awesome. 290 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,062 But enough of this levity, wench! 291 00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:27,278 We came here to have a party, 292 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,989 and as God is my witness, there will be a party. 293 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,209 Nope, I haven't sold a keg all day, 294 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:43,878 but a young guy did come in for a tap. 295 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,088 Young guy, huh? 296 00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:50,009 Look, they got pina colada in a can. 297 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:54,180 Bob, we're doing something here. 298 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:56,015 All right. 299 00:16:56,056 --> 00:17:00,311 You know, I might have heard something about a party. 300 00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:02,563 Can't recall. 301 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:05,942 Maybe Andrew Jackson could remind me. 302 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:08,862 Andrew Jackson, huh? 303 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,490 He's not in. 304 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,913 But Abe Lincoln's hanging out with the Washington twins. 305 00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:23,042 Would they have any knowledge of the festivities? 306 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:28,631 So, a real wisenheimer, huh? 307 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,802 Well, let's see how smart you are 308 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,428 when I snap off your head! 309 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,430 Okay, okay, man. 310 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:39,559 They said something about a vacant house on Sherman. 311 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,353 I know that place. It's the vacant house on Sherman. 312 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,273 Good work, Starsky. 313 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:48,651 Let's roll. 314 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,000 Everybody in the deep end! 315 00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:05,710 My mother is showing the house! 316 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,462 - Now? - People work. 317 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,214 Okay, quiet down, everybody. 318 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,259 The deck is new, 319 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:16,095 and this lovely tile walkway leads directly to the pool. 320 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:23,811 Which is filled with some of the local kids. 321 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,146 Heavily Caucasian. 322 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,108 It's a nice neighborhood. 323 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:33,529 Sometimes Bob pretends he's poor. 324 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:34,864 I call him Buster. 325 00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:41,913 He knocks on the door, and I answer it in my teddy. 326 00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:45,917 And he says, "Does the rich lady need any help around the house?" 327 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:49,128 And I say, "I know a something that needs attending to 328 00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:50,379 "in the bedroom." 329 00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:55,593 I'll spare you the details, 330 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,386 but it ends in whoopee. 331 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:03,559 You know, this is as much fun to make 332 00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:05,478 as it is to eat. 333 00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,981 You know, speaking of which, 334 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:10,149 how do you get Bob to play those games? 335 00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:13,111 I have a reward system. 336 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,155 Huh? 337 00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:20,952 You know, sometimes Red would wear a sailor's uniform. 338 00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,495 Really? 339 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,872 Yeah, but he was in the Navy. 340 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:31,587 Ooh, kitty. 341 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:44,058 Does he still have his sailor's uniform? 342 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,351 Oh, no. 343 00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,397 Just has the hat. 344 00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:00,783 I stole my dad's tap. 345 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:06,413 Back from those thieves. 346 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,004 We were worried sick. 347 00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:15,131 You had us driving all over town. 348 00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:16,716 We missed Rich Man, Poor Man. 349 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,720 - Excuse us, Red. - What are you doing? 350 00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:23,222 - We're just gonna grab this keg... - Get out of here! 351 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,352 - We're not finished with this. - Neither are we. 352 00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:31,022 Now, you take her home and you wait for me. That's an order. 353 00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:32,899 Ditto. 354 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:36,360 Come here. 355 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:42,241 I can't stay mad at you with that cute face. 356 00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:52,085 Get your ugly butt home. 357 00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:00,426 My dad's gonna kill me. 358 00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:02,636 You're always saying that. 359 00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:04,471 Yeah, well, this time he's gonna kill me. 360 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:09,227 I mean, I cut class, 361 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,605 I trespassed, I had stolen beer 362 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,941 and then I swung into a pool full of cops on a garden hose 363 00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:16,275 carrying my dad's tap. 364 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:19,779 Yeah, that was so cool. 365 00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,074 Really? 366 00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:25,575 Really. 367 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,501 You looked dangerous. 368 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:39,048 Did I mention that I killed a guy in algebra? 369 00:21:41,341 --> 00:21:43,970 Good night, killer. 370 00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:51,227 Bring it on, Red. 371 00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,861 I love that boy. 372 00:22:01,904 --> 00:22:03,781 Eric's a good kid. 373 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:05,532 And that Donna's real sweet, too. 374 00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:08,077 Man, that Donna's real hot. 375 00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,496 - Hey, that's my daughter. - I'm just saying that... 376 00:22:10,537 --> 00:22:11,890 You don't think I know what you're saying? 377 00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:13,624 All right, Bob, it's time to go. 378 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:14,834 We'll just take... 379 00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:16,335 Hey, hey, hey! Get out of here. 380 00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:19,754 All right. 381 00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,340 Fine.