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Oh, the memory can ne'er forget the beauty of a young rump.
Not even after death!
What a piece!
Such vulgarity.
Well, what did you expect, with a mother like Zaira?
And with a pa like André!
Is it true that he's the father?
Nothing is true when nothing is untrue.
Hey, Maestro!
I'll strangle you, you little wart!
- Didn't she get here yet? - No, not yet.
Will you stop looking at the clock? You're not going to find her there.
Your obsession is unnatural.
- What's wrong, you're not happy? - Very happy.
You bothered to ask? Ha-ha!
His obsession was my obsession at his age.
No, no. When we were young, you fooled around with me.
Not with some dumb poopy doll. The likes of her comes out of nowhere!
What do you mean, nowhere? She's Zaira's daughter.
In fact, imagine a woman who worked as a hat-checker
in the cloakroom of a trans-Atlantic liner!
What's so bad about working in a cloakroom?
Because she came back, knocked up and unmarried!
She returned with Signor André.
What a pair, Zaira and Mr Bang-a-bang!
Bang-a-bang? Are you kidding?
He was considered the best, unequalled chef The Normandie ever had!
I say, what you see you believe.
And I see Signor André living in Ca' da Mosto sitting on his ass!
Together with a lady who acts as his governess but is his lover,
as everybody knows.
And a young lass who he treats like a daughter
despite the fact that her surname is her mother's.
Ah, 'tis the life I would lead. Blessed is he who can do it.
Ah, look at you, slobbering.
But I can tell you one thing: nobody is getting our son without my approval.
Besides, what's the hurry? They're too young yet.
How about if they've already consumed?
Oh, yeah? Well, that's just too bad!
Cos I know my son, he doesn't take after his father!
- Hey, he's no fruit. - Oh, you can bet on that.
And he's not indecent either, like you are!
Well, he is my son too. Or isn't he?
Oh!
You piggy!
Whee!
- See? You're very lucky. - What do you mean, lucky?
- You're lucky cos you're fun. - Hmm...yeah.
- Lots of fun? - Hmm.
- What's that mean? - Er...
You come with me and I'll show you.
You're supposed to knead the bread today.
Look, I don't get paid but you do!
- Oh, come on, hug me! - My hands are full of dough.
Give here.
- What are you doing? - I'm cleaning you, what else?
Oh, you're right, I'm so lucky.
- No, you excite me too much. - So?
And so first, we have to get married.
With me no, and with whores yes, huh?
For your information, I don't go with that kind of women.
Don't be wayward with me, Lola, or you'll make me lack respect.
"Don't be wayward with me, Lola"? You must be an idiot!
Listen, Masetto...
They say virginity is only a crumb of bread,
and the first birdie that comes along takes it away.
- In other words... - You're just a dodo!
You're almost naked most of the time.
It's so hot. Do you want me dressed like a nun?
Who do you think of all the time?
Of you, just you, all the time.
- Oh, God, you're driving me crazy. - And I'm here waiting.
Oh, yes!
Signor Tommaso?
The bread, too, has risen.
Shall I pick you up after lunch, about three o'clock?
No, go respect somebody else!
- Shameless thing. - Talking to me?
- You could've brushed up a little bit. - Oh, I leaned on some flour sacks.
- I'll tell you what you leaned on! - I'll brush you, dear.
Ow! Why did you hit me like that?
Well?
Of all the cheek!
Ah, blessed cheek...
Well, I think I prefer them headless. Bodies alone are more expressive.
And above all, they do not lie.
Right, the quintessence of being.
Coito ergo sum.
And all the rest is nothing but distraction.
No, go ahead, say it. An illusion, a fraud, a lie.
No, no, even worse. A curse!
Work, success, progress... It's all bullshit.
Only there...I am.
Some of the credit, I think, is due to the black and white.
Zaira was made for black and white.
I'll never forget the first time I saw her was in Le Havre.
I was already chef on The Normandie,
and she was in charge of the cloakroom in first class.
She was wearing her black uniform.
White collar,
black stockings,
pure white skin.
A bombshell. She was having a affair with somebody else.
And she gave him up for me.
She sacrificed him for me.
And you, in exchange, sacrificed travels, adventures
and straying about as you please.
All I gave up were today's myths.
That boom of theirs will blow them all up.
When I'm out here, I can laugh at all trouble the world's getting itself into.
All I need is what is on my plate and in my bed.
That is lajoie de vivre, Pepè.
- Cà del Mosto, your friendship... - Hmm...
Ha! Zaira's derriere.
And...
And...Lola's...
...smile.
Er...must I imagine she's not your daughter, André?
It's not for you to imagine.
Urgh! That looks sinful, Mama.
- They're already blessed. - Praise be the Lord.
Praise be, now and forever, amen.
And forever, amen.
I've something for you, dear.
The good pope, John XXIII. He'll always protect you.
See if the water's boiling and check the salt. Go on.
- A bit too salty. - For André, nothing's too salty.
He's all salt, I know.
All right, get a move on.
Wash your hands, fix a tray with two plates, two glasses.
- A bottle of wine and four rolls. - Yeah, yeah.
Here, take it up to the master. He's in the studio with Pepè.
What's eating you, Zaira?
My daughter's no longer a child.
Well, praise be the Lord.
Here, padre, this is the heel of the salami.
- The prior's portion. - Oh, the hind quarter.
Thank you, child. Thank you and God bless.
Thank you.
Is it true that you and Maxim had a mistress in common?
- A famous danseuse? - Oh, she was famous, all right!
But not for la danse.
She once had twelve men, on the trot, one after the other.
She er...liked ceremonies.
But Maxim was impotent, was he not?
He got her warmed up. And then I took over.
Like I said, she loved cerem... Pepè, attention.
Oh, Lola!
Bonjour, ma petite. What a pleasure to see you.
Bonjour, Monsieur Pepè.
Mama prepared you something to eat and drink.
- Hmm, the smell of baked bread. - More likely a baker boy.
Incidentally, how is Tomasetto?
What do you care? You don't have to marry him.
Well...if he makes love the way he bakes bread...
...you are a very lucky girl.
- Monsieur Pepè. - Merci.
Can I leave the tray here, or does it hinder the projector?
Leave it there. Leave it there.
Thank you.
It's not the tray that's going to hinder our view.
A-ha! Not there!
It's off limits.
I'm like Bluebeard. Every door except one.
And that? Where did you get that?
One of my old ships. The Atalante.
- It's still working? - I think so. Take a look.
Help me.
All right, all right. Come on, then, I've got you.
What are you doing? Put me down!
All right, you can go now.
Run along.
Take him as a present.
Come on, let us get on with our work.
Yes, very delicate work!
You never know, you could mistake one ass for another!
She's simply delightful. She's a Charlotte Russe.
And something even more.
An unquenchable pussy of natural talent.
Lola?
No! That one!
Ah...
Who's that?
A country bride named Carla.
Shameless twat.
Yet she lives in constant fear, which lends a certain licentiousness.
Where did you come across her?
She was in Michelle's atelier looking for a dress. A candid shot.
I'll shoot her later this afternoon. Full service in the buff!
With the hat, though!
I guaranteed her that the pictures would only be published in France.
Although no Italian editor would dare take the chance.
André...you come along too.
Yes, of course.
Only I feel sorry for her.
Ah... She's going to be disappointed.
What we want from her is far less than she's willing to give!
You'll do me a favour if you come.
Oddly enough, Michelle is rather jealous when I'm alone among such models.
Well, you know women, always trying to turn you into someone else.
That's why, every now and then, I have to make it very clear
that I will continue to, er...
give free rein to the rest of my desires.
Bravo, André! Show everyone that toi, c'est toi,
and that it's their choice whether to take you or leave you.
Merci, Mon Ami. I'll walk with you.
It's a beautiful day.
Ow!
Betrothed.
Ow!
Unbetrothed.
♪ Be-Bop-A-Lola, she's my baby
♪ Be-Bop-A-Lola, I don't mean maybe...
Ah!
And what if someone came walking through?
They'll enjoy the view.
The Normandie was a floating house of pleasure.
And what pleasure!
There... There, there!
There! There!
Now it's a pink as a rose.
Like that...
Yes, lovely.
Pepè, prepare her.
- Pepè... - I am finished.
Our trophy is up for the bidding.
I shall be the first. And then the others will all join in.
How many others?
Twelve.
- As you wish, Mon amour, Mon chef. - Santé. Merci.
Eleven to go.
Oh!
We could turn that bakery into something you wouldn't believe,
a big, modern, money-making factory.
Hmm...
Quiet! Shh!
Th-Th-Th... There! There!
Don't make noise! Quiet!
Cavaliers! The cavaliers of Italy! Hey!
I really don't see any cavaliers. A couple of twats, maybe.
He who see-sees her, he who see-sees her,
a cavalier of Italy!
He's nutty.
We call him Giolo the voyeur, everyone knows him.
What's a voyeur?
Somebody who gets his rocks off spying on you, like all those cavaliers over there.
Who are the cavaliers of Italy?
- They're dicky birds! - Cavaliers!
He keeps going peek-a-boo.
He doesn't hurt anybody, he just looks, that's all.
Like I was saying, I want to set up a factory, real modern,
for the mass-production of breadsticks, sandwich bread and fresh egg noodles
for export mostly in Germany.
And raise laying hens, mass-production eggs for noodles,
automatic heaters and automatic feeders,
I got so many things in mind we can do together, Lola.
And I have only one!
- Let's get out of here, that nut's there. - So what?
He doesn't seem to bother anyone. Didn't you just say he watches?
I want you, Tommaso.
Here...
- You got me, huh? - Yeah...I got you.
- Take me, Tommaso. Now! - Huh?
Oh!
Do what you have to do. What are you waiting for, Tommaso?
What I'm waiting for is for us to get married.
Look, he's not waiting. Poor thing, you're cruel.
You're going to make him cry.
- Get your bloomers back on. - No! I'll do nothing of the sort.
Not before you avoid respecting me.
- Avoid? - Rape me, screw me, do me!
Are you crazy, only a few days before our wedding and you want to ruin it?
Don't worry, it's not going to get ruined.
What if I don't like you and it's all wrong?
One must experiment before the wedding.
...that you love me.
You want to be sure of my love? My respecting you is the very proof of it.
You're being silly, Lola. You're talking nonsense.
I want an apology, Lola.
An apology? Where do you think you are, in a tearoom or something?
I know what you got spinning inside your head.
You're worried I'm going to betray you and put the horns on you.
Which is what you deserve, probably.
You think virginity is an insurance policy against you getting the horn. Poor boy!
I could put horns on you before and after our marriage, just like that!
Faggot! Go on, go and marry your noodle factory.
Come back, Lola! Where are you going?
To find somebody who's less of a jerk than you are!
A virgin, olé!
Is there anyone willing not to respect me?
Come back here!
Hey, you, voyeur!
What's going on?
I scared him too.
You know, you should listen to me.
Stupid.
You're so stupid!
Let go!
You're right, I am pretty stupid.
Oh, the dressmaker! I had an appointment at five!
Don't worry, we'll make it.
Sonia, come. It's so nice here. Come.
Get the damn thing started. I don't want to get there too late.
- I'm supposed to try the gown on. - Jesus!
What's the point in going if you're not going to marry me anymore?
You can go fly a kite while I marry somebody that I like!
What the hell's the matter with this all of a sudden?
Aargh!
If you don't hurry, you'll bleed to death before I get to the dressmaker.
Well, you better get out and get my handkerchief in my side pocket.
- Aargh! - I don't feel any handkerchief.
There's really nothing much in there.
Put anything on it, a strip of your blouse or skirt, whatever.
Wait a minute.
- Don't worry. - Aargh...
Hold still.
The juices of woman are a potent and immediate disinfectant.
- You're too much for me. - Well, it's true.
What goes on in that little head of yours anyway, huh?
Only because today is Easter, it's the last time I'm going to stuff it.
I just find it inhibiting.
What is this disgust?
I'm surprised at your repression, knowing how talented your finger is.
Ouch!
Goddamn bird! What have you been eating?
Aargh...
I'll take care of it.
Give it here.
What are you tugging there, stupid?
You'd like me to have one like that, wouldn't you?
It's late, come on!
Oh, just barely on time.
Hey, wait up!
- Hey, can't we go together? Slow down! - Are you crazy?
Showing the gown to the groom spells a marriage of ill-fated doom!
Watch out for your dressmaker, huh?
A French seamstress and whore on the side.
That can kind of heady!
She can influence you, Lola, don't forget that.
Shut up!
How could I fall in love with an idiot like that?
I'll be waiting at the bar.
All of a sudden it rains. What weather? Look at it!
Unpredictable, like women. Yeah.
Un moment, j'arrive. Mon Dieu!
- Oh, it's you. I was about to call you. - Sorry I'm late, madame.
- It started to rain and I... - Yes, yes. It's all right. Come along.
With lightning, too.
- Voilà. - How beautiful. A work of art, madame.
Yes, it's coming along well. Undress and try it on.
Yeah.
Oh!
- Er...afraid it's not possible. - Et pourquoi?
Don't have any panties.
- What? You lost them by accident? - Well, in a way.
- It was an emergency. - Oh, je comprends.
At your age, very common. It happens often.
Oh, but I have just what you need. So you undress and I'll be right back.
- Hurry! - Ah...that's wet.
- Ah... - Go on.
Allez, allez!
Here we are. These come from Paris, they are trimmed with lace.
Très chic, Cherie.
Thank you, Madame Michelle. You'll have them tomorrow.
Oh, no, no. You can keep them, darling. It will be my wedding gift.
This is a lovely gown, dear, but I think you look best in the nude.
I can't go to church with just a veil.
What a shame. You are perfect as is.
There are many who I know, Cherie,
who would pay a fortune for a girl like you are, dear.
- Might you be a virgin? - Yeah, like a dope.
- You said that they would pay a lot? - Beaucoup, beaucoup d'argent.
So many girls sit on a fortune without even knowing it.
There's a gentleman I know
who is ready to pay a fortune, an enormous sum,
just to be near you and admire you.
In total respect.
Ah, no! It's a mania!
"In total respect"!
No, Michelle, I thank you but making love's a lot of fun.
And if it isn't, I don't want to do it.
Oh, excuse me a minute.
- Madame Carla. - Good evening. How are you, Michelle?
- Through there. - Thank you.
Silly tart.
Oh, Mon chou. You're a veritable angel.
Well, your husband, Madame Michelle, what kind of photos does he do?
Photos of art, my dear.
But models in Italy have no class.
Paris is another world. Plus chic.
Ah... Then why didn't you stay where you were?
For many reasons, my dear.
Laguerre, politics. And cinema, the movies.
I worked in wardrobe and he was cameraman.
But that was long ago.
Voilà!
Perfection.
Not yet, you're missing the veil.
No moving. You're full of pins. They hurt.
I accepted only because they're artistic photos, Signor André.
Of course, Signora Carla. Artistic and poetic.
Don't squeeze your legs together.
Now, lift your slip.
Very good. Lean forward. It has to stick out.
We've just met. I wouldn't want you to think badly of me.
On the contrary. Very highly of you, Signora Carla.
Oh, pardon. I was looking for a veil...
You are worthy of D'Annunzio.
You're using the bridal veil as a filter?
Am I pretty?
Hmm... You're a bijou.
D'Annunzio!
Here you are, darling.
And your veil... You like it?
I don't know. It's a veil.
What's the matter, dear? Are you upset?
Oh, it's nothing. Could be the gloomy day and that everything here is so dark.
Oh, it often happens the first time you put on a wedding gown.
But you get over it. It's just a bit of cafard.
Huh? A bit of Ca...?
En français,you say"cafard".
Oh, I know. That's melancholy.
André says that to mama when she's sad.
Oui. You're melancholic and sad.
No, I'm not sad. It's only that...
Only that it itches like hell!
Oh, bravo, Lola! When it itches, it itches.
Which, of course, is nothing to do with being a bride.
- Pretty long time! - I took the time it took.
- Did it come out right? - Hm-mm.
- You want a drink or something? - Erm...
- Marsala wine. - That's pretty strong!
Too bad. I feel like Marsala.
One Marsala!
Look what a nice wedding gift I got from Madame Michelle.
- Cover up! - Why?
- They're looking at you. - Too bad!
Po, you're staring at the girl! You're gonna get the guy all riled up.
What are you worried about? It's not like we're back in Palermo.
We're up north. They're nice, they don't get offended if you look at their broads.
Sit like a lady or there'II be trouble.
Oh, Tommaso, you're such a bore!
Oh-yo-yo! I'm dying. She's crazy!
Now the fun starts.
♪ Hey, mambo, Mambo Italiano
♪ Hey, mambo, Mambo Italiano...
Come on, Lola, let's get out of here!
- I'm not going anywhere. - What do you mean?
No. Besides, it's raining.
Got to go to the John too.
Oh, erm...
- If you need help... - Ha-ha
I'm at your disposal.
- See her? - You deserved it!
- She's on the make. - Look, look, he's getting edgy.
♪ Now, you're looking good
♪ I'm gonna sing my song, it won't take long
♪ We gonna do the twist and it goes like this
♪ Come on, let's twist again like we did last summer
♪ Yeah, let's twist again like we did last year...
- What the...? - That's enough now!
- What, are you crazy or something? - You're coming with me.
- Watch your manners. - Let go. Who do you think you are?
You dance with me from now on.
- We made the north jealous! - I'll bust your head in!
Get your hands off him!
Hold it, we'll give him a lesson!
On the pinball? Hey, not on the machine!
I don't have to marry you. I'm free to do whatever I damn please!
- Yeah, I wish I were too. - Goodbye!
Break it up!
That's enough.
Hey, Miss? Hop in, I'll give you a lift.
I'll go where you go. Wherever that is.
Come on, hop in. What are you afraid of?
I'm a gentleman, I am. Can't you tell? Come on, Miss, get in the car.
Lola!
Get in, let's go!
Lola!
Now! Now!
Lola, where are you going?
How did it go? You lost the gadget?
What gadget?
The dude who was hollering like he had a fever.
- You're Lola, aren't you? - Lola...? Er, no.
- Oh, really? - My name's Zaira.
Zaira, it's a pleasure.
You're talking to Lenzi Remo the furrier, absolute best furrier in the business.
- A-number one. - Oh...
Would you like to take a peek?
Go ahead, feel how lush they are.
Ah...you got a pretty good chassis there, Zaira.
You ever think of modelling? You'd look great in a mink coat.
How about a little music?
That's it, relax, honey. Then you can tell me where you have to go.
Maybe you'd like me to close the window...
Er...no, don't close it.
I need the air and the raindrops.
What are you afraid of?
Zilch. Nobody. Nothing.
Yeah, you're a winner.
Every little bit.
What a bush!
I get your friseur, and you're gonna get all of mine.
Fair exchange.
- Am I pretty? - Oh, more. Even more.
You are the joie de vivre.
Formidable!
A dream in black and white.
What the hell are you doing? Where am I?
- You're with me, take it easy. - Let go, I wanna get out of here.
Oh, come on, you come into my car without any panties,
and then you want to turn me into a sucker?
I don't have to turn you, you already are!
So pussy's being sarcastic? I'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget.
- Come here, Miss No Panties! - Get your hands...
You bitch! Are you crazy or something?
You wanna hit, you smartass? Here, now stop it!
You wiggle your ass, then you do your virgin modern bit.
Zaira, you know what you are, huh? Zaira, you know what?
A hunk of tail! A hooker! Yeah!
Where the hell do you think you're going? Where the fuck...?
Aargh! No, you don't! Come here, gimme a piece of that!
Aargh, right in the soft part, right in the nuts!
- I'll get you yet! - Oh, yeah? Then come on out!
- I dare you! - That's not fair play, it's not fair play!
Coming! Coming!
- It's your Masetto. - Don't keep him waiting.
Enter, dear.
Ah, splendid book.
Here's someone who finally says loud and clear
that they shouldn't have closed down the houses
and that, as a result, society ladies are now putting out for free.
That bitchy senator, it's on account of her.
- She's probably doing for nothing. - I didn't come for any senator.
It's you I come for.
Hey, look at you. You'd think you were shipwrecked!
Got in a brawl, huh? You can tell me.
Look, I came here to get laid not to fuck around.
Yeah, well, before you start, Tootsie, let's dry you off a little, huh?
Relax now, take it easy. Your Wilma's here with you.
Good boy. You dry your hair now.
Let's hope you didn't drench your money too.
Oh, let go, I'll do it.
Hmm?
So, what happened to your finger?
You need a new bandage, it's coming apart.
See? I'll do it for you.
What...? What did you do, use it as a band-aid?
L'amour, I'amour!
She must really be in love with you if she's ready to give up her panties for you.
So tell me, what did you fight over? Another of your ugly, jealous rows?
None of your business. I came here to get laid.
Now you're frustrated and I gotta be your scapegoat.
With the houses closed now, everybody gets his on the run.
No longer any room for foreplay.
In the old sporting houses, us girls had a chance to converse with the clients.
It was a question of principle. For me it was...
A question of principle for a fuck? My poor little Masetto!
- Shut up! - Here, slip it on.
You're always so exciting, Masetto.
So, how do you want me?
Yes, darling, do what you want.
And don't think about her making you angry.
Come, come get on me. Jump on me. Kiss me if you like.
Oh!
Yes, I'm ready. You drive women crazy.
This is how you have to screw that dumb twat of yours.
Shut up, don't talk.
Forgive me, I won't talk. Let's just enjoy.
I am the dumb twat, not her. Just me, just me!
Lola!
Tell me something, Wilma.
Why's Lola so spiteful?
Oh, sweet boy.
You should know that love is all spite.
Hm...what happened to you?
Oh, caught in a rain storm.
Aren't you up early?
I was getting ready to go out hunting.
Pepè is coming by later.
- And mama? - Upstairs. Asleep.
Here...dry yourself.
You'll catch your death. Here.
Gotta take these off first, they're sopping.
Oh...
Then hang it in front of me if it bothers you.
Huh? What's the matter?
You're the father you say you are...aren't you?
All done. You can dry me now.
- Finished? - Is something missing?
It's all I got.
Well, what happened? Did you...
...have a fight with Tommaso?
It's over with him.
Go on. What happened?
Tsk! The usual. He's your opposite.
With him, there's no kidding, no fooling around, no dreaming.
He keeps saying no, no, no, as usual.
He's always making a scene. He's jealous of anybody I say hello to.
Even of my father.
Maybe he's right. You can't lock up lajoie de vivre.
- Or could he be wrong? - Do you love him?
I don't know.
There are two Lolas.
One wants Masetto.
And the other...
Dry yourself.
Here, drink this. It'll do you good.
- Are you all right? - What is that?
Find me a dress that's dry. Go look inside my room.
Hm... Not even "please".
Why don't you go and fetch it yourself?
Because if I go...
...who knows, will I return?
- What are you looking at? - The moon, it's so white.
Huh... So am I.
Qu'est-ce qu'elle est belle.
Elle est belle.
- Like a posed photograph? - Oh, better.
- Get dressed. - No, you dress me!
Come here, you! Come here. Now put this on.
- How did you find this one? - I just followed my nose.
I can just see you snooping around in my room when I'm not there.
And you? You come snooping around even when I'm here.
- You're still going to marry Tommaso? - No, not any more.
Then you can carry on making him jealous.
Not marry Tommaso? Want to bet?
Ooh, easy! Bet what?
Me.
- Don't joke, baby girl. - No, it's a fact.
Though I'm promised to Tommaso, it is you who are...
...luring me away.
Don't talk foolishly.
I'm your father.
Well, are you?
Or aren't you?
André! Lola!
- You little slut! - All right, all right...
- Dirty slut! - All right, nothing happened.
- The wench! - Look who's talking.
I saw your sleazy bordello photographs. Congratulations.
I can accept the others, but not my daughter!
Dirty lech! You turned her into your lover!
- Admit it! I want to know... - What's there to know, you jealous idiot?
She came in here soaked to the skin and I helped to dry her.
That is all. That is all!
I want to know everything from you.
- Everything what? - And this time...
...I want the truth.
Is Lola my daughter?
Got it on your mind, huh?
She could've been your daughter, but you preferred her to be mine!
And I played along, letting you live in doubt,
a doubt that would protect her while saving our own love.
But nothing will stop you, nothing!
Because your libido is so perverted and instead of showing restraint,
it excited you, you pig!
Lola's father is Jean. Go on, take another swat at me.
Good old Jean, your machinist friend on the Normandie, eh?
He introduced us, he was my lover.
And you knew it all along.
Lola was already on her way before I met you.
It was that pig's goodbye present. Nice, huh? You pig.
And now that you know Lola's not your daughter, run to her!
It's not true, no, no!
You know I could never love anybody but you.
- No, you pig! - No, no, no...
- Pig! Pig! - No, no, no...
Can't you feel me?
Feel the way I love you? Yes!
- I sense you love her. - No, no, no!
You know it's not true.
No, it's for you. For you!
No woman has ever excited me the way as you excite me so quickly.
- No, I saw you. - You didn't see anything.
You know there's only you.
I could never love anybody the way I love you.
- Yes... - You pig...
Bite me. Yes.
Bite me!
Will you shut up, you ball-breaker?
What's wrong, you don't like the song?
No! And you neither!
- Well, what's to look at? - Hm...the rolls are not done yet?
Huh? Well, obviously not if I closed the oven, stupid!
Strange. According to the clock, they should be out.
Oh, really? You're gonna tell me how to run a bakery now, are you?
Look, if you can't get your rocks off with Lola, don't take it out on me.
What? You son of a bitch...
Listen, sweetpea, you just mention Lola's name and you're dead, clear?
Yeah, loud and clear. Mustn't name.
Clear, my ass! You punk!
The bread! The bread's burning!
Hurry, hurry, hurry!
Stupid! Look what you did.
What I did?
Masetto!
- Anything else? - Some fresh buns.
I'm sorry, but the hand-rolled bread is gonna take a little longer, Signora.
- Really? Why ever? - Ah, 'tis a whimsy of ovens.
And of bakers whose thoughts are far from their work.
You're being unjust, come on. They're about to get hooked.
Unfortunately. The girl's a tropical disease which is incurable.
Your son's marrying the disease, not you. And he's probably immune.
Better pray the girl doesn't take after that whoremongering Signor André.
- You're talking of our future in-law. - In-law? That scoundrel?
If I learn that Lola is officially Signor André's daughter,
you can be sure she'll not marry Masetto!
Good morning!
- How are you doing, Lola? The usual? - No, today no bread, just Masetto.
- Just stay out of there, you hear? - He's got a supplementary batch to do.
Don't distract him too much, sweetie.
Ha!
They burned the bread, by chance?
Just look at her.
Hi! You burned the bread, huh?
Don't get cheeky. Look at the way she shows up.
As far as that goes, you look like a pretzel.
Every minute of the day, you're jealous. You in that bar with those soldiers...
And then ordering me to get in the car with that awful man.
I ordered you to get in the car?
It was your doing on account of your sick jealous phobia.
- Wanna know what took place in there? - Go on.
- Poor Tomasetto! - Don't give me that shit! Talk!
Go on!
I was forced to consent.
Huh? Forced to consent...?
One word out of you and you're dead! Mind the ovens!
- Get in here. - Take that!
What's all this bullshit? If it's true, I'll strangle you, you little bitch!
Talk! Go ahead, talk! Go on!
- I was forsaken! Forsaken! - What the fuck does that mean?
He took a back alley the minute I got into his car.
Pervert finally parks and I'm sitting there like a goose.
Then all of a sudden he notices I don't have any panties.
I did everything to break away, but he...
he jumped on top of me and tied my arms and legs.
Then I called out, called out to you.
Oh, how I called out to you, Masetto, you'll never know.
I was forsaken.
And?
And I said, "You mustn't! To a virgin girl, you mustn't! I'm a virgin!"
But all he did was to spread me with all the force he had
and unleashed his libido.
His what? Come on, spit it out. What did he do?
He took his dick out and slipped it inside me! You got it, lunkhead?
He took my cherry, is what he did. My virginity, and it's all your fault!
It's a load of crap, you made the whole thing up.
It happened, and if you don't believe it, take a look!
What?
Take a look at what? What's to look at, you little slut?
I'll give you something to look at. Here! Here, you slut! You cunt!
Wench! Wench! Wench!
Wench! Wench! Wench! Wench!
- Slut! - Yeah, slut!
Cunt! Horny little wench!
Deflower me, deflower me.
You lied to me, you lied!
Why did you lie?
You liar!
Tell me why you made up all that baloney.
To help you take the initiative.
Give me a towel or something, I'm such a mess.
Here, take this, it's clean.
We use it to cover the dough to help it rise.
That's just what I need, especially now.
- I could start getting big all of a sudden. - Doesn't matter.
We'll just tell the dressmaker to hurry up and finish your gown.
I love you, love you, love you.
Hey, hussy! What's a cockerel doing here?
The poor thing's in mourning.
All the lovelies gathered in our midst, there's but one who heads the list!
Who else but Lola?
Tired, my young baker? Dress up tonight and let me take her!
Give me one too. Yoo-whoo! Give me one too!
Coming, dear.
Hmm?
Take it, take it.
My conjugal duties require that I uphold my husband's offer.
A toast to our first night, Monsieur.
I'm bursting, I'm so full. Careful, it's holding me up! Careful! No, no!
Boss, wow!
Never seen one of those.
Give the bride a bustier, lad.
Bus the bride, bus the bride!
Bus the bride! Bus the bride!
Bus the bride!
Bus the bride! Bus the bride!
You've been bawling since we left the church. Let's be happy.
Give me a kiss.
I have to do something, it won't take long.
- Pee-pee? - And...
What do you mean, "and"? You starting again?
Ah-ha! You're not to ask questions. Wait and I'll tell you.
I've never seen such a wedding in these parts.
And you couldn't have done more had she been your daughter.
Yes, I think it's all gone wonderfully well, my darling.
But I better go check the wedding cake, la pièce de résistance.
Excusez-moi.
Right, Zaira, let's have one of you kissing the groom.
They say there are only three things in the world that leave no traces.
A gull high up in the air, a halibut in the ocean...
And a cock inside a pussy!
Yeah, that's my Wilma!
We thank the Lord for womanhood, we thank the Lord, we think it's good.
And I, a friar, I touch one there,
and... Oops! I feel it here!
And tomorrow we shall all be penitent.
Stop your moaning, Agnes, for goodness sake.
Eat up that good food and tonight I'll do you!
Oh! Oh, not here!
I, er...
- I have a present for you. - And I too.
Only you mustn't tell anybody else, though.
It has to be our little secret.
Like mine.
Oh!
I declare you...
...a member...
...of my club.
Oh, André. It's stupendous.
All right, all right... Now, what about my present?
As you know, you were right, I married Tommaso,
and so I lost the bet.
Ah...
You won, André.
And I have to pay.
Stop, stop!
You're making a mistake.
I'd like to give you a souvenir to remember me by.
- Here, look. - Ah!
You have every right. You won.
Lola, I...
I've never met anybody like you.
Nor I like you.
I am a very lucky man.
Didn't you know that whoever gives me pleasure
is surely lucky, huh?
Bride? Where's the bride?
Get your bride, son, before I do!
We want the bride! We want the bride!
You all right?
Are you ready?
Bus the bride.
Bus the bride! Bus the bride!
Ah, come on, let's dance!
More champagne!
Think it'll last or they'll be cheating?
- Her on him or him on her? - Works both ways.
They're wild about each other, that's all that matters.
- What does fidelity have to do with love? - Everything.
Ha! No, no, it doesn't.
- It has nothing to with it. - It does, it does.
No!
- Look what a nice gift I got from André. - It's beautiful.
Are you wearing the dressmaker's gift too?
- No, no panties. - What do you mean, no panties?
I removed two things, my panties and the veil, when I went upstairs.
- They made me itchy. - You're always itchy.
Yep!
Be on the level, Lola.
So long as you don't ask, I'll always be on the level.
Don't tell me you're still jealous, now that we're married.
Above all, now!
You feel sorry for having done it?
I'm not so sure. It's the first time I get married.
You mean you're already thinking of cheating?
Well, I'm not so sure the first time I get married!