WEBVTT 1 00:00:01,088 --> 00:00:04,830 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:08,008 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:11,707 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:14,710 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:18,061 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:21,586 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:23,153 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:24,807 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:30,117 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:37,646 I tell you, Sundays are the best, aren't they? 11 00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,387 You said it, chief. 12 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:40,910 Hey, Chris, what's the name of the girl 13 00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,217 on the end of the couch? I'm sure I've met her before. 14 00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:45,610 I'll introduce myself to her. That'll get her to say it. 15 00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:48,831 [clears throat] Hi. I'm Chris. 16 00:00:48,874 --> 00:00:50,311 Hi, Chris. 17 00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:52,226 Well, that didn't work. 18 00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:54,228 ANNOUNCER [over TV]: This Sunday at the Quahog Convention Center, 19 00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:56,317 it's Streaming-Con. 20 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,493 All your favorite YouTubers, Instagrammers, 21 00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:02,801 social media mavens and digital influencers under one roof. 22 00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:05,630 Social media? Better swap my glasses for a monocle 23 00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:08,894 that will pop out whenI'm confronted with modern talk. 24 00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:12,246 LOL at thousands of the hottest Vimeos, memes, 25 00:01:12,289 --> 00:01:14,639 -epic fails. -Heavens! 26 00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:18,252 Meet disgraced YouTube star Logan Paul and his cool bus, 27 00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:19,862 the Golden Throated Homeless Guy 28 00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:21,864 and his cool bus he poops in, 29 00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:23,605 -Newly Sober Cat... -[cat mews] 30 00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:25,389 -formerly Grumpy Cat... -[cat groans] 31 00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:28,000 -and teen influencers Tyler Oakley... -Who? 32 00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:29,437 -Lele Pons... -What? 33 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:30,786 -GloZell... -Where? 34 00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:32,440 -Joey Graceffa! -When? 35 00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:34,529 -Sunday. I already said that. -Oh, I'm so embarrassed. 36 00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:36,531 With special guest star, everyone's favorite 37 00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:40,143 Internet how-to whiz, Corey fromCorey's World. 38 00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:43,059 What's going on, guys? I'm Corey fromCorey's World. 39 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,713 And I'm gonna be live and in-person 40 00:01:44,756 --> 00:01:46,106 at the Quahog Streaming-Con, 41 00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:48,238 where you'll see I'm only five-foot-two. 42 00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:50,545 And remember, that Nazi stuff I said was in the heat 43 00:01:50,588 --> 00:01:52,373 of a very competitive Halo game. 44 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,723 And congratulations to Goldblatt69, 45 00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,812 whose people definitely do not control the media 46 00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:58,640 and all banking. 47 00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:00,772 Dad, can we go to Streaming-Con? 48 00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,426 Well, I wasn't watching all that closely. 49 00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:03,993 Is it like a rodeo? 50 00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:05,603 Um, sure. 51 00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:07,953 We're going to Streaming-Con! Giddyup! 52 00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:12,567 Looks like someone's going to Streaming-Con. 53 00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,612 Rope a doggy for me. 54 00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:24,840 Oh, awesome. Look over there. You can take a selfie 55 00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,886 in a hospital bed to get social media attention. 56 00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:33,501 "Don't really want to get into it, but I'm fine." 57 00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:35,938 [rapid chiming] 58 00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:39,246 Oh, boy. Well, this is the last thing I wanted. 59 00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:46,818 I'm gonna do a Instagram story here where I insult a loner 60 00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:49,343 and it becomes a whole thing. 61 00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:53,695 What's up, everybody?I'm here at Streaming-Con 2019. 62 00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:56,350 Weird ponytail. 63 00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,613 They got a whole booth of cat GIFs here. 64 00:02:58,656 --> 00:03:00,267 Jiff? 65 00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:03,270 How-how do you say... Uh-oh. 66 00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:05,533 Hey, man, I didn't say anythingto that guy. 67 00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:07,970 This is ridiculous. You're hurting my wrist! 68 00:03:08,013 --> 00:03:09,101 So check this out, guys. 69 00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:11,278 I got kicked out of Streaming-Con 2019. 70 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:13,454 Now, I don't know if anyone watching this is a lawyer, 71 00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:15,499 especially a constitutional lawyer, 72 00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:16,587 -but... -[knocking on window] 73 00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:17,980 Hey. 74 00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:20,243 Hey, guys, so I'm in my own trunk. 75 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:21,940 Uh, I think I'm gonna get murdered. 76 00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,464 Uh, but before I do, I forgot, 77 00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:25,074 I'm supposed to mention Triscuits. 78 00:03:25,117 --> 00:03:26,554 Really, all the Nabisco products, 79 00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:27,729 they're-they're solid. 80 00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,252 You know, like, on the back of Triscuits 81 00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,036 when they give you the recipes for those snacks? 82 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,473 Like, the-the mini pizzas? 83 00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:34,649 I swear to God, make those little pizzas. 84 00:03:34,692 --> 00:03:37,086 Hashtag it: #PetesTriscuitLifeHacks. 85 00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:38,740 Go ahead and check it out. Recipe in bio. 86 00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:39,784 -[tires screech] -Whoa! 87 00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:47,052 [panting]: I got away. 88 00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:50,665 Hey, guys, I'm in an Uber, heading back to Streaming-Con. 89 00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,710 Uh, man bun alert. 90 00:03:57,541 --> 00:04:00,675 ANNOUNCER: Now seating for Corey: The Live Experience. 91 00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:02,677 All religions welcome. 92 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,679 That's us! Come on, everyone! 93 00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:06,246 Hey, where's Brian? 94 00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:08,857 Hey, you know how Snapchat puts a fake dog tongue on you? 95 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:11,251 -How'd you like a real one? -[both gasp] 96 00:04:12,817 --> 00:04:15,646 -That was bad. -Eh, times have changed. 97 00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:17,692 Three years ago, I would've been a hero. 98 00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:19,476 Three years ago, they would've been 12. 99 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:20,999 I need a nap. 100 00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:23,350 Brian, turn on the heat and NPR. 101 00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:26,483 RADIO HOST: We now return to NPR'sFresh Air. 102 00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:29,225 TERRY GROSS: My guest today is a white music writer 103 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,228 who has written a book about the history of hip-hop. 104 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,230 -[snoring] -Stewie's loss. 105 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,319 I'm sure this'll be an enriching discussion. 106 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:40,236 Hip-hop has its roots in the call-and-response tradition 107 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,630 of the Southern black Baptist church. 108 00:04:42,673 --> 00:04:44,109 [snoring] 109 00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:46,198 [tires screech] 110 00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,117 [tires screech] 111 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,252 [yawns] 112 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,472 Well, a nap was just what the doctor ordered. 113 00:04:58,515 --> 00:05:01,823 -I feel like a new... -And, of course, you can't write a history of rap 114 00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:04,173 without mentioning Gil Scott-Heron... 115 00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,044 [both snoring] 116 00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:08,046 [crowd cheering, dance music playing] 117 00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,396 [cameras clicking] 118 00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:10,875 What's going on, guys? 119 00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:12,834 I'm Corey from Corey's World. 120 00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:15,097 And today, I'm gonna show you how anyone can become 121 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:18,840 an Internet celebrity, like me,Corey from Corey's World. 122 00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:22,365 I bet you can't make my daughterMeg an Internet celebrity. 123 00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:23,758 Dad, stop. 124 00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:26,238 No, stand up, young lady. 125 00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:29,067 Rectangle body, fridge bod, untapped market. 126 00:05:29,111 --> 00:05:30,373 Go with that. 127 00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,419 Everybody, hashtag #FridgeBodMeg. 128 00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:34,116 [chuckles] You're welcome. 129 00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:36,118 -[phone vibrates] -[gasps] Oh, my God, Dad! 130 00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:37,772 I'm trending on Twitter. 131 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,121 That's awesome, Meg. 132 00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:42,298 I say we celebrate by eating Triscuit pizzas. 133 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,474 -Is it good?-The recipe's right on the box. 134 00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,520 -Yeah, but is it good? -You can make them 135 00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:48,957 with ingredients you probably already have in the house. 136 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,395 -Dad, what does it taste like? -That's right. 137 00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:55,442 Ugh! It's like I dropped a tomato in some hay. 138 00:05:55,485 --> 00:05:58,053 Yeah, it's like if a horse made a pizza. 139 00:05:58,096 --> 00:06:01,273 Triscuits: make sure you have a drink nearby. 140 00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:08,803 All right, Meg, now thatyou're an Internet personality, 141 00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:10,326 we got to build your brand. 142 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,806 Is there anything you can do? 143 00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:13,460 Uh, yeah, actually, I can... 144 00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:17,377 [bleep] 145 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:19,770 [exhales]: I-Is... 146 00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:22,556 Is there anything you can do in front of your dad? 147 00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,645 -I can shuffle a deck of cards.-Oh, good. 148 00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:25,820 With my... 149 00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:28,475 [bleep] 150 00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:31,652 All right, we're taking your bedroom door off the hinges. 151 00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:36,570 Is the lady who owns the Prius here? 152 00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:39,573 -Uh, actually, that's me. -Oh, well, your wife's car is totaled. 153 00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:41,401 -It's my car. -Sorry. 154 00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,751 We were, however, able to save your purse. 155 00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:45,230 It's a gender-fluid Euro carrier. 156 00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:48,582 Either way, we'll have it towedback to San Francisco. 157 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:51,193 Hey, there are plenty of closergay cities, you big ape. 158 00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:52,847 How did this turn into my fight? 159 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,501 You're gonna need a loaner. 160 00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:56,981 We have a pink Volkswagen Beetleyou might feel comfortable in. 161 00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:59,375 [gasps] Ooh, Brian, we could be two in the pink! 162 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,811 Take that one! Take that one! 163 00:07:00,855 --> 00:07:02,378 Yeah, I'm thinking of something sportier. 164 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,381 -The red Miata it is. -Give me your manliest car! 165 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,861 Bill, I need a Hummer. 166 00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:09,211 BILL: Again? You're insatiable. 167 00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:10,691 Wise guy. 168 00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:12,736 [engine rumbling] 169 00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:33,496 -[brakes squeak] -Wow, that thing's big. 170 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,193 Brian, it's night now. 171 00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:37,369 [insects chirping] 172 00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:44,420 What's up? This is Refrigerator Meg. 173 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,292 Thought I'd give you a tour of my refrigerator lifestyle. 174 00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:49,164 Let's see what we've got in here. 175 00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:52,254 Ooh, check, check, check it out! 176 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:53,908 Boom! Mini cream! 177 00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:56,432 Oh, and what's this? Strawberry yogurt? 178 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,695 Is-is your girl Meg some kind of health nut? 179 00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:02,525 No, turn it around: 35 grams of sugar! 180 00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,355 Yeah, through the roof! 181 00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:08,183 Check it, check it, what's this? 182 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:10,490 A bacon drawer? Stacked. 183 00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:13,101 Rashers on rashers.Best part about these bad boys? 184 00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:15,277 Don't even have to cook them. 185 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,540 Cook them right in your stomach! 186 00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:21,501 Wash it down with a little cream! 187 00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:24,895 [stomach grumbling] 188 00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:27,245 [belches] 189 00:08:27,289 --> 00:08:29,117 [stomach grumbling] 190 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,641 Oh, boy, that's-that's going right through me. 191 00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:39,301 Sponsored by Oscar Mayer and Land O'Lakes. 192 00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,956 If it's not Land O'Lakes, it's not cream! 193 00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:43,784 -[farts] -[knocking on door] 194 00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,829 PETER: Hey, Meg? You can't use the Charmin. 195 00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:48,353 You're now sponsored by Safeway Rough 'n' Thin. 196 00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:50,486 Don't forget to wash the tip of your middle finger 197 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,661 -when you're done. -[camera clicks] 198 00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:57,711 [computer chimes] 199 00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:03,107 Mom, we've got a problem. 200 00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:05,501 See, I-I promoted Magic Shellice cream topping on my channel, 201 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,025 -so-so they sent me a ton of it. -Yeah, so? 202 00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:10,071 Dad Han Solo'd himself. 203 00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:13,553 Oh, my God, he's gonna suffocate. 204 00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:16,773 [clapping] 205 00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:22,823 I created a vanilla ice cream Peter covered in Magic Shell. 206 00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:25,565 -Why? -Because I must. 207 00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:27,567 Don't listen to him. He's an imposter. 208 00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,133 -I'm the real Peter. -No, you're not. 209 00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:31,005 I made you. I'm the real Peter. 210 00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:33,355 Oh-oh, my God, I-I don't know which one to believe. 211 00:09:33,398 --> 00:09:36,314 What do you mean? I'm a guy, and he's ice cream. 212 00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:37,402 -[grunts] -[gasps] 213 00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,103 Thank God, Lois. 214 00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:45,106 Does anyone mind if I turn the thermostat down 215 00:09:45,149 --> 00:09:46,629 -to 32 degrees? -[camera clicks] 216 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,155 [computer chimes] 217 00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:54,637 ♪ There ain't a reason on Earth to waste it ♪ 218 00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:58,815 ♪ It ain't a crime to be good to yourself ♪ 219 00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,774 -♪ Lick it up ♪ -[phone vibrates] 220 00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,253 ♪ Lick it up... ♪ 221 00:10:02,297 --> 00:10:03,603 -Yeah? -STEWIE: It's me. 222 00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:05,605 Can you change the station? 223 00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:07,345 [station changes, "Lick It Up" playing] 224 00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:08,651 ♪ Whoa, lick it up... ♪ 225 00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:09,783 [station changes, "Lick It Up" playing] 226 00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:10,958 ♪ Don't need to wait... ♪ 227 00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:13,787 ♪ Oh... ♪ 228 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:16,311 ♪ Oh, yeah... ♪ 229 00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:19,793 Five different stations, all playing "Lick It Up" by Kiss. 230 00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,142 Hummer. 231 00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:22,883 Well, it's nice of you to once again drive me 232 00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:24,058 to day care, Brian. 233 00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:25,581 Sure. It's only three klicks away. 234 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,757 I just hope I don't get branded a "Hummer guy." 235 00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,280 I can feel the Earth warming. 236 00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,021 No one needs a car this big. 237 00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:33,328 Yes, but I like howwhen you cut to an outside shot, 238 00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:35,635 Sam Elliott is narrating your drive. 239 00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:38,594 SAM ELLIOTT [over radio]: When you need to take a talking baby to day care, 240 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:39,900 you'll move mountains. 241 00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:42,642 And if the mountains won't move, 242 00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:44,861 drive right over 'em. 243 00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:47,603 Hummer. 244 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:51,476 And, yes,Big Lebowski fans, I've seen the movie. 245 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:54,305 I don't need to hear the lines. 246 00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:02,313 This place is paying Meg? Uh, to do what? 247 00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:04,272 Nothing. When you have a million followers, 248 00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:05,926 people just pay you to hang out. 249 00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:09,103 Yo, yo, yo! Everything here is made with corn syrup! 250 00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:12,497 -Just drink the corn syrup! -[cheering] 251 00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:18,634 [belches] 252 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,983 [crowd gasps] 253 00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:21,724 Oh, my God, she collapsed! 254 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:24,379 We got to get her to the hospital. 255 00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:27,121 ♪ Don't want to wait till you know me better... ♪ 256 00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:29,732 -Anybody need a ride to the hospital? -[music continues loudly] 257 00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:30,907 What? 258 00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:33,518 Does anybody need a ride to the hospital? 259 00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:35,085 -How is she? -[music continues loudly] 260 00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:37,479 -What? -How is Meg? 261 00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:41,744 I'm worried! Her pulse is very weak! 262 00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:44,704 Her middle finger smells weird. 263 00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:48,577 Meg has Type 2 diabetes. 264 00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,187 The one where you're supposed to shame her, 265 00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:51,580 not feel sorry for her. 266 00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,930 But I need to drawa little more blood for the lab. 267 00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:00,154 As I suspected. Sap. 268 00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:02,896 -Vermont gold. -I love sugaring season. 269 00:12:02,939 --> 00:12:04,288 Me too. 270 00:12:04,332 --> 00:12:07,857 "The moon, though slight, was moon enough to show 271 00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:10,468 "On every tree a bucket with a lid, 272 00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:13,994 And on black ground, a bearskin rug of snow." 273 00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:17,127 Robert Frost, "Evening In A Sugar Orchard." 274 00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:19,303 Robert Frost! 275 00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:21,175 What? Dad? 276 00:12:21,218 --> 00:12:23,786 It's okay, Meg. You had a diabetic coma dream. 277 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:27,007 Dad's still an idiot. I'm still an idiot. 278 00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:37,408 Coming up, local anchor brings a concealed weapon to work, 279 00:12:37,452 --> 00:12:39,106 as is his right. 280 00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:41,891 But first, popular Internet star Meg Griffin 281 00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:43,763 has Type 2 diabetes, 282 00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:47,810 and is also the new face of diabetes drug Pancresta. 283 00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:49,551 Refrigerator Meg here. 284 00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:53,076 If diabetes has you down, get your insulin levels up 285 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,556 with Pancresta. 286 00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:56,036 ANNOUNCER: Pancresta may cause heart disease, 287 00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:57,515 swelling, allergic reactions. 288 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:58,995 Do not take Pancresta if you are pregnant 289 00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:00,562 or plan on becoming pregnant. 290 00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:01,998 If you have a problem with addiction, 291 00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:04,305 do not take Pancresta, as smoking Pancresta may mimic 292 00:13:04,348 --> 00:13:06,046 the otherworldly high of heroin. 293 00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:07,830 Chopping up and snorting Pancresta may amplify 294 00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:10,006 and/or enhance sexual experience. 295 00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:12,879 Rock concerts on Pancresta may be excessively transformative. 296 00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:14,837 Pancresta may cause intense philosophical 297 00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:16,404 and scientific breakthroughs. 298 00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:18,493 Pancresta can be delivered directly to your home, 299 00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:20,756 and since we're here, why not, we'll do a bump. [sniffs] 300 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,889 Pancresta is not for everyone, just the sexy people. 301 00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:25,065 Lame losers should not take Pancresta. 302 00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,457 Pancresta. 303 00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:29,373 Makes opiates look like [bleep] baby aspirin. 304 00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:34,683 Meg, like everyone who doesn't have diabetes, 305 00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,380 I'm not sure how it works, 306 00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:38,208 but I do know you could go blind, 307 00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:41,037 you could have organ failure, you could lose your feet. 308 00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:43,431 No amount of fame is worth this. 309 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,607 James Woods High School will also be saluting 310 00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,739 their own diabetic Internet celebrity 311 00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:50,003 with a pep rally in her honor this Thursday. 312 00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:53,180 Sponsored by Pancresta, which feels like being inside 313 00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:55,747 the warm, wet mouth of the Lord. 314 00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:58,750 [engine starts] 315 00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:04,800 [tires screeching] 316 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,237 You know, I think you like driving this Hummer. 317 00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:08,891 You're a Hummer guy. 318 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,763 I'm not a Hummer guy, Stewie. I'm a responsible Prius driver 319 00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:13,722 who's making the best of a bad situation. 320 00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:15,463 I didn't ask for this car. 321 00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,769 I also didn't ask for these slowpokes in front of me. 322 00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:20,860 -Out of the way, you old bag! -Brian, that's Paul McCartney 323 00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:23,601 doing "Carpool Karaoke" songs we can afford. 324 00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:27,867 ♪ She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes ♪ 325 00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:29,607 ♪ Whoo! ♪ 326 00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:32,001 [honks] 327 00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:33,829 How should we end the scene, Brian? 328 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,657 Sam Elliott or Kiss "Lick it Up"? 329 00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:37,267 Why not both? 330 00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:39,487 SAM ELLIOTT: "Lick it up. Lick it up. 331 00:14:39,530 --> 00:14:41,315 Oh, yeah." 332 00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:44,100 That's about all I care to read of that. 333 00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:51,803 Refrigerator Meg here 334 00:14:51,847 --> 00:14:53,283 having one of my favorite snacks: 335 00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:55,329 french fry sandwiches on white bread. 336 00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:58,985 Bad sugars and starches are the bomb! 337 00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:00,769 [wind whistling softly] 338 00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:02,553 [wind chimes jingle] 339 00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:07,907 Meg's feet are gone. Rotted. 340 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:10,692 I have a gift for knowing when something bad happens 341 00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:14,609 to someone's legs, kind of like a shining. 342 00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:16,698 [dramatic music playing] 343 00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:23,357 CLEVELAND: How you doing, doc? 344 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,358 [Peter shouts] 345 00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:26,926 [Cleveland screaming] 346 00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,628 [horror music sting] 347 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,980 Oh, you were thirsty, weren't you? 348 00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,547 Good girl. No! 349 00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,549 Good boy. You're a boy car. 350 00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,551 -Yeah, that's weird. Stop that.-Stop what? 351 00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:44,987 The way you're touching, feeding, 352 00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:48,077 -and talking to your car. -His name is Mark McGrath. 353 00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:49,949 What's happened to you? 354 00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:52,908 I-I don't know. All I know is I love this Hummer. 355 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,431 God, the power. 356 00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:56,303 I deserved a sweet ride for a little while. 357 00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:58,000 It felt so good. 358 00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:00,394 People turned their heads when I pulled into Hooters, 359 00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:03,571 Lids, GNC. It's not fair! 360 00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:06,052 -How much creatine... -I've been doing a lot of creatine! 361 00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,054 -[car horn honks] -All set. 362 00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:11,579 You can probably get another130,000 miles out of this thing. 363 00:16:11,622 --> 00:16:13,929 Well, let's see-- I drive about 4,000 a year, 364 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,757 so when this car goes, I'll be... 365 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,280 Dead for 18 years. 366 00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:20,370 Let me just say goodbye to the Hummer. 367 00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:24,679 I'll miss you, Mark McGrath. 368 00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:26,855 I'll miss scaring the hell out of homeless people 369 00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:29,553 with your cruise-ship-grade air horn. 370 00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:31,077 I'll miss catching the eye of women 371 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,905 smoking outside of government buildings. 372 00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:44,438 But mostly, I'll miss driving a military vehicle 373 00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:46,744 45 miles an hour through a school zone 374 00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:49,051 -to get Crest Whitestrips. -[glass shatters] 375 00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:52,141 The back side of this car is all wrecked. 376 00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:53,838 Who fixed this thing, your wife? 377 00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:56,493 -No, she can't fix a car. -That's my point. 378 00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:59,975 She passed away last month. She was addicted to Pancresta, 379 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,412 so she didn't so much pass away as elevate 380 00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:04,719 to a higher level of consciousness. 381 00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:08,462 Just turned into a smiling beamof light right before my eyes. 382 00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:11,117 She told me to be at peace, and I was. 383 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,641 I'm hearing a lot of good stuffabout this Pancresta. 384 00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:15,425 Sorry, Mr. Griffin. I don't know what happened. 385 00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:16,774 Looks like you got the Hummer 386 00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:19,038 for another couple of days at least. 387 00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,519 Stewie, why did you do it? 388 00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:24,391 Oh, you were having so much fun, Bri. 389 00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:26,480 Besides, the Earth is on fire. 390 00:17:26,523 --> 00:17:29,004 One dog driving a Prius won't fix that. 391 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,529 -Where to? -Let's do donuts on Mark Ruffalo's lawn. 392 00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:34,966 -[tires screeching] -BRIAN: Yeah! 393 00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:36,968 [laughs, whoops] 394 00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:39,058 Hey, come on, you guys. Knock it off. 395 00:17:40,581 --> 00:17:42,670 Hey, why don't you turn into the Hulk? 396 00:17:42,713 --> 00:17:44,454 Oh, right. You're just a Hollywood sissy. 397 00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:45,890 I'm calling the cops! 398 00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:48,197 Oh, you hear that, Brian? Hulk's calling the cops. 399 00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:50,112 [both laughing] 400 00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,945 SAM ELLIOTT: Turns out old Mark really was the Hulk. 401 00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:58,555 [Stewie and Brian screaming] 402 00:17:58,599 --> 00:18:02,168 And Brian and Stewie got tossed clear up to New Hampshire. 403 00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:03,517 I'm Sam Elliott. 404 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,433 This concludes your B story. 405 00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:12,178 [indistinct chatter] 406 00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:14,049 Look at 'em all out there, Meg. 407 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,051 They're all here because of you. 408 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,966 Hi, Meg. 409 00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:19,881 It's your friends, Patty, Ruth and Esther. 410 00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,926 If anyone remembered what we look like, 411 00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:23,972 it would be shocking how fat we are. 412 00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:26,148 You've inspired us to gain all this weight, 413 00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:28,194 and we just wanted to say thanks. 414 00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:30,413 [girls farting musically] 415 00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:38,378 ♪ 416 00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:41,424 Dad, I can't do this. 417 00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:43,600 All my friends are fat because of me. 418 00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:45,646 I don't want them to lose their feet, too. 419 00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,561 Everybody needs their feet. 420 00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:51,260 SAM ELLIOTT: Feet. Those little weirdos on the end of your legs. 421 00:18:51,304 --> 00:18:55,003 I used mine to mosey on over to the A story. 422 00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:58,180 I'm going out there to warn everybody 423 00:18:58,224 --> 00:19:00,182 about the dangers of unhealthy eating. 424 00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:02,315 Meg, I am so high on Pancresta right now, 425 00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:03,925 I don't care what you say. 426 00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:05,231 Three dimensions? 427 00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:08,103 No, six dimensions. 428 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,150 [ethereal music playing] 429 00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:13,108 Be at peace, Meg. 430 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,631 Be at peace. 431 00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,461 Phone. Forgot my phone. 432 00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:26,295 -GIRL: We love you, Meg! -GIRL 2: Eat something gross! 433 00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:27,992 BOY: I was gonna take you to prom 434 00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:31,213 as part of a cruel bet, but I'm fat now, too! 435 00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:33,911 Hey, everybody. 436 00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:36,436 I want to talk to you guys about something important. 437 00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:38,177 Being healthy. 438 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:40,440 I'm still Refrigerator Meg! 439 00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:44,139 But from here on, my fridge will be full of fruits, 440 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:47,708 vegetables and lean meats! Yo, yo, yo! 441 00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:50,972 [booing] 442 00:19:51,015 --> 00:19:52,582 Bring back the fridge! 443 00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:54,410 CROWD [chanting]: Bring back the fridge! 444 00:19:54,454 --> 00:19:57,631 Bring back the fridge! Bring back the fridge! 445 00:19:57,674 --> 00:19:58,806 Aah! 446 00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:02,462 -[electronic chime] -What's going on, guys? 447 00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:04,159 I'm Corey from Corey's World. 448 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,813 Did you hear that all the Jewish kids 449 00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:07,858 stayed home from school that day? 450 00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:13,647 Is everyone okay, Principal Shepherd? 451 00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:15,910 Mostly. We only had one fatality. 452 00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:18,217 An old janitor was crushed under the bleachers. 453 00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:20,958 Huh. Has anyone claimed his feet? 454 00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:23,744 Yeah, and has anyone claimed his mop? 455 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:32,274 Good news! The feet transplant was a success. 456 00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:34,102 So... 457 00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:36,844 good news all around. 458 00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:42,197 PETER: Well, I'm glad everything's back to normal. 459 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,503 LOIS: No, it isn't! 460 00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:45,374 Meg got the dead janitor's feet, 461 00:20:45,418 --> 00:20:48,116 Brian and Stewie got thrown into New Hampshire by the Hulk, 462 00:20:48,159 --> 00:20:49,683 and you're a beam of light. 463 00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:51,772 CHRIS: I have the shining now. 464 00:20:51,815 --> 00:20:53,643 LOIS: And Chris has the shining now. 465 00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:55,515 PETER: Lois, just do a line of Panc. 466 00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:58,518 LOIS: [sniffs] Ah!Road House! 467 00:20:58,561 --> 00:20:59,693 PETER: Road House. 468 00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:01,564 SAM ELLIOTT: Road House... 469 00:21:01,608 --> 00:21:03,914 is a movie I was in.