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00:00:01,393 --> 00:00:04,819
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:08,065
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:08,234 --> 00:00:11,677
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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00:00:11,828 --> 00:00:14,680
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy. ♪
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Okay, kids, remember,
it's Father's Day,
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00:00:37,354 --> 00:00:38,445
which is the one day a year
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we have to pretend
your dad's annoying habits
13
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are charming quirks.
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Here it comes, we get to watch
him remove his mouth guard.
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Good morning, family.
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Let's see if I can break
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the nine-inch saliva
string record.
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There it is, nine inches.
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Peter, that's two inches.
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Saliva starts
at the taint, Lois.
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You always measure
from the wrong place.
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-Brian?
-Thank you.
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I'll just take that
to the nibbling corner.
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BRIAN:
Mmm. (moans with pleasure)
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Happy Father's Day, Dad.
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Okay, Peter, we have a special
present for you this year.
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We thought you could
have the whole day
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-to yourself...
-Yes!
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...to do the Father's Day
scavenger hunt
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I organized
with the other wives.
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No!
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No! No!
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No! No!
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What was that?
35
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,070
My inner Al Pacino.
36
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Everybody has one.
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-I don't.
-Sure you do.
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Since it's Father's Day,
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you have to do that thing
in bed with me tonight.
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No!
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Huh, son of a bitch.
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Anyway, I thought
a scavenger hunt would be fun.
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Dads don't want fun
on Father's Day.
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They want to put
their hand down their pants,
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and watch a guy
from a weird country
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win a golf tournament.
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Who's ready to scavenger hunt?
48
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I'll be your guide today.
49
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Hop on and, uh,
please excuse the clutter.
50
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I'm kind of Nomadland -ing it
in this thing.
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Can I move this bucket?
52
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I wouldn't move
or open any buckets.
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Now, I'm gonna put on
a microphone headset
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even though
I'm mere feet from you.
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-(feedback whines)
-Let's open that first clue
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and start pedaling.
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This is very hard.
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Yeah, it's usually bachelorette
parties on these things,
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so they mostly run on "woos!"
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"Kids grow up so fast.
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"Luckily, we are there for them
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"when they need
that extra support.
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This is where you bought
Meg's first bra."
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At Goodwill.
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Oh, that's where
I got Junior's first bra.
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Happy Father's Day, Daddy.
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A bunch of grabby fellas
at the mall
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thought he was...
(sighs) Lizzo.
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Did you really buy Meg's
first bra here?
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I didn't think
they were allowed to sell
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used underwear products.
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They do, there's just
a special way you have to ask.
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-Hi.
-Hi.
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I'm looking for, um...
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00:03:01,740 --> 00:03:02,589
uh...
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In a garbage bag
behind the lamps.
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Thank you.
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I found it.
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What's it say?
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"Everybody's heard
about this bird.
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"The next clue can be found
where he coops up.
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But don't worry, I'm not
talking about his coupons."
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Sounds like
the Giant Chicken's house.
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This is where
the Giant Chicken lives?
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It's amazing.
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How's he so rich?
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His family got into
the telecom game early.
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They laid all the fiber
from here to Barrington.
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Chickens did that?
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Quahog actually has
five of the top 15
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richest chickens in the world.
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I did a whole episode
about it on my podcast,
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Joe's Gold:
The Hidden Gems of Quahog.
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I didn't know you had a podcast.
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Well, you have to ask questions
to get answers, Peter.
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Or as I say to my listeners,
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"Ask and you shall Joe-ceive."
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Is that supposed to rhyme?
Because it doesn't.
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Hey, you're Joe from Joe's Gold.
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That's right.
You want an autograph?
101
00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,404
No, I just want to say
102
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your HelloFresh
promo code doesn't work.
103
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-Oh, did you type it
in all caps?
-Yes.
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-Joe's Gold. All caps.
-Yes.
105
00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:09,081
It's got to be
something on their end.
106
00:04:09,232 --> 00:04:11,750
Hmm, I called them.
They said it's your end.
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And you did all caps?
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♪ ♪
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We have reached
our final destination.
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I do accept tips,
and I also offer them:
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Do not become
a high school principal.
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(panting):
We made it, guys.
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Looks like the last clue
is on that fence over there.
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"Congratulations on finishing
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"your Father's Day
scavenger hunt.
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You have earned your big gift."
117
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"You are now the proud sponsor
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of a rescue sheep
on the ranch..."
119
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-Oh, no.
-Happy Father's Day.
120
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Where we going to dinner?
"Baa-ja" Fresh?
121
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I'll be keeping the sheep.
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(wind blows)
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♪ ♪
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What the hell is he doing?
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RANCH HAND:
He's doing what he does
every Father's Day.
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Waiting to shoot his dad.
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Every year he stands
under that there clocktower
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at high noon, waiting
to duel his father, Old West,
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00:05:13,388 --> 00:05:15,797
who abandoned the family
to become an outlaw.
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It was a promise he made to
himself when he was just a boy,
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a promise his mother asked him
to keep on her deathbed.
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"Pain for pain," she said.
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So, every year,
Wild West waits right there
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for his father to show,
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but every year...
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...his father never does.
137
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His mouth is very wet.
138
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Hmm. Well,
if he's just waiting there,
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now seems like a good time
140
00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:44,343
to ask him some
chit-chatty questions.
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00:05:44,494 --> 00:05:46,252
Hey. Hi.
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00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:49,573
Heard about your dad.
Crazy stuff.
143
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I don't have time
for pleasantries.
144
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:54,001
Totally get it.
Hey, you run a small business.
145
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,745
I'm looking for
a new paper shredder.
146
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I can never find one that lasts.
Any recommendations?
147
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Are you using lubricator sheets?
148
00:06:00,268 --> 00:06:01,601
I've never heard of that.
149
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:05,030
Buy lubricator sheets.
Use them every 500 pages.
150
00:06:05,181 --> 00:06:06,514
Do you have a brand you use?
151
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,200
-Nuova.
-Muova?
152
00:06:08,427 --> 00:06:09,201
Nuova.
153
00:06:09,352 --> 00:06:10,610
That's what I said. Muova.
154
00:06:10,762 --> 00:06:12,762
It's Nuova with an "N."
155
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-An "M?"
-An "N."
156
00:06:14,783 --> 00:06:15,707
N-N?
157
00:06:15,934 --> 00:06:17,376
Just spell it?
I'll write it down.
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(groans) "N."
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(gunshot)
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♪ ♪
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Hello, son.
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Dad.
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Fathers and sons
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have one of the trickier
relationships, historically.
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We talk about that
all the time on the pod.
166
00:06:32,784 --> 00:06:35,376
Hey, you're Joe from Joe's Gold.
167
00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:36,970
Guilty as charged.
168
00:06:37,122 --> 00:06:40,047
Your HelloFresh
promo code doesn't work.
169
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,359
We don't have any sponsors,
I just made that up.
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What kind of a man
shoots another man
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when he's not looking?
You ambushed me.
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A real man is always
ready for an ambush.
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Besides, I shot you in a limb.
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00:06:59,311 --> 00:07:01,402
That's how
cowboys show affection.
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The Chris Brown defense.
Not great.
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00:07:04,499 --> 00:07:07,092
Are you sure you don't want us
to call a doctor, Mayor West?
177
00:07:07,243 --> 00:07:08,927
That wound looks pretty gnarly.
178
00:07:09,078 --> 00:07:11,171
I got some Minions Band-Aids
if you want.
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00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:13,247
Just not Stuart, or Bob.
180
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,492
(laughs) Kevin's kind of
hilarious, too.
181
00:07:15,585 --> 00:07:17,994
You know what, I rescind
my Minions Band-Aid offer.
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00:07:18,087 --> 00:07:20,847
Look, son, I didn't
come here to quarrel.
183
00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:22,757
I came here
to make things right.
184
00:07:22,834 --> 00:07:24,258
You lost the right
to make amends
185
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:26,761
the day you walked out
on me and Ma.
186
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Thankfully, Allen was there
187
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to pick up the pieces
of our shattered lives.
188
00:07:31,434 --> 00:07:35,102
Now, Wild, I do not want
your blood sugar to get too low,
189
00:07:35,197 --> 00:07:37,271
so look what I brought you.
A juice box.
190
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,624
Oh, look who's here.
Hello, Old West.
191
00:07:39,776 --> 00:07:42,944
Allen. I see you still
got the Civic running.
192
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,537
Oh, yeah. You know, every year
193
00:07:44,690 --> 00:07:46,781
the dealership calls,
asking me if I want to trade up,
194
00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:49,892
but I tell them I just need
to get from "A" to "B,"
195
00:07:49,953 --> 00:07:52,028
and I always do, thanks to "C."
196
00:07:52,047 --> 00:07:53,213
(laughs)
197
00:07:53,365 --> 00:07:54,714
You know, "C" is the Civic.
198
00:07:54,866 --> 00:07:56,049
Right, I got that.
199
00:07:56,201 --> 00:07:58,218
I think it's best if you leave.
200
00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:01,295
Don't let the door hit you
in the ass on the way out.
201
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:04,149
Why? Do people get hit
in the ass with it a lot?
202
00:08:04,376 --> 00:08:06,042
It's just an expression.
203
00:08:06,211 --> 00:08:09,637
Oh. I'm kind of worried about
this door now, though.
204
00:08:09,715 --> 00:08:10,697
Just leave.
205
00:08:14,736 --> 00:08:16,244
(shouts)
206
00:08:17,572 --> 00:08:19,164
Where did our bike go?
207
00:08:19,315 --> 00:08:22,058
Sorry, it's gone.
Sold it to a guy on Craigslist.
208
00:08:22,077 --> 00:08:24,485
It looks like you got
viciously assaulted.
209
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,246
Yeah. That's Craigslist.
210
00:08:26,398 --> 00:08:27,897
How we gonna get back home?
211
00:08:27,916 --> 00:08:30,491
I don't know, but I already
bummed a ride with Allen.
212
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,918
Hey-hey-hey!
213
00:08:31,995 --> 00:08:34,420
Hope you're okay with
a little dog hair on the seats.
214
00:08:34,573 --> 00:08:38,225
Oh, Allen, I'm okay
with all kinds of hair.
215
00:08:40,579 --> 00:08:41,911
Well, what are we
supposed to do now?
216
00:08:42,005 --> 00:08:43,838
I could give you a lift.
217
00:08:43,932 --> 00:08:45,582
I'm already headed
in that direction,
218
00:08:45,675 --> 00:08:47,049
but I'm afraid
we're gonna have to leave
219
00:08:47,102 --> 00:08:48,768
your mangled man behind.
220
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,420
He'll only slow us down.
221
00:08:50,438 --> 00:08:53,773
It'll be dark soon.
You're gonna need this.
222
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,925
There's six bullets in there.
223
00:08:56,019 --> 00:08:58,094
Five for prey, one for yourself.
224
00:08:58,187 --> 00:09:00,021
We'll tell your wife
you love her.
225
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,498
Nah, that's okay.
226
00:09:05,604 --> 00:09:07,212
Well, here we are.
227
00:09:07,363 --> 00:09:09,864
Peter, I was wondering
if you'd maybe
228
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,217
let me set up camp here
for the night?
229
00:09:12,368 --> 00:09:14,869
Oh, boy.
Nothing free is ever free.
230
00:09:14,963 --> 00:09:16,203
Well, I don't see why not.
231
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,014
Let me go ask my wife
if it's okay.
232
00:09:19,467 --> 00:09:21,876
Hey, Lois, can my friend
stay over tonight?
233
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:22,877
LOIS:
What? Who?
234
00:09:22,971 --> 00:09:24,211
PETER:
My cowboy friend.
235
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,622
-LOIS: No.
-Please?
236
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,141
LOIS:
No. You can't keep
coming home with things.
237
00:09:28,293 --> 00:09:29,793
-PETER: I don't.
-LOIS: This is
the iguana all over again.
238
00:09:29,811 --> 00:09:31,552
-This isn't the iguana.
-I always end up
239
00:09:31,646 --> 00:09:32,979
-having to take care of them.
-His skin is very
similar to the iguana,
240
00:09:33,131 --> 00:09:34,964
-but it's not the iguana.
-No.
241
00:09:34,983 --> 00:09:37,133
PETER:
Please? I think
we could have fun.
242
00:09:37,226 --> 00:09:38,484
LOIS:
I don't care what you think.
243
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:39,803
The answer is no.
244
00:09:39,896 --> 00:09:41,154
PETER:
It's not fair. Please?
245
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,081
LOIS:
I said, "No."
246
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,293
She said backyard's fine.
247
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:50,922
Now, I have to say,
248
00:09:51,074 --> 00:09:52,482
I was a little hesitant
to let you stay here,
249
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,926
but you've been a very
considerate guest.
250
00:09:55,078 --> 00:09:57,320
Every time
I stand up, you stand,
251
00:09:57,339 --> 00:09:59,264
take your hat off,
and say, "Ma'am."
252
00:09:59,415 --> 00:10:01,141
-Ma'am.
-(Lois chuckles)
253
00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:03,560
-Ma'am.
-(Lois chuckles)
254
00:10:04,587 --> 00:10:05,604
Ma...
255
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:06,846
-...am.
-(Lois chuckles)
256
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,331
You know, I can't understand
257
00:10:08,350 --> 00:10:10,516
why Mayor West wouldn't
want you in his life.
258
00:10:10,669 --> 00:10:13,670
-It's a long story.
-STEWIE: How long?
259
00:10:13,688 --> 00:10:15,021
My daddy was an outlaw,
260
00:10:15,173 --> 00:10:17,765
just like his daddy,
and his daddy before him.
261
00:10:17,859 --> 00:10:19,618
STEWIE:
"The end." Not so long.
262
00:10:19,769 --> 00:10:21,936
They raised me to be the same.
263
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,271
After Wild was born, I...
264
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,624
I tried getting honest work.
265
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,033
Tried to go straight.
266
00:10:27,185 --> 00:10:29,961
I auditioned for
America's Got Talent,
267
00:10:30,113 --> 00:10:30,962
but no one appreciates
jumping in and out
268
00:10:31,114 --> 00:10:32,872
of a spinning lasso anymore.
269
00:10:33,024 --> 00:10:34,374
When that didn't work out,
270
00:10:34,542 --> 00:10:35,783
I turned to
the only life I knew:
271
00:10:35,877 --> 00:10:37,527
robbing and stealing.
272
00:10:37,545 --> 00:10:39,195
(horse whinnies)
273
00:10:40,198 --> 00:10:42,599
Wild never forgave me
for abandoning him.
274
00:10:44,035 --> 00:10:45,718
How'd you get that
scar on your face?
275
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,204
I got this scar working a heist.
276
00:10:48,223 --> 00:10:50,815
A member of my posse
got pinned down by gunfire
277
00:10:50,967 --> 00:10:52,208
and I went back to save him.
278
00:10:52,301 --> 00:10:53,393
When you work a job
with someone,
279
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,654
you never leave
another man behind.
280
00:10:55,805 --> 00:10:57,063
You know what I think?
281
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,824
With a little domestication,
you'd make a good dad.
282
00:10:59,976 --> 00:11:00,900
Why don't you stay with us
283
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,735
and I can help you
win your son back?
284
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,311
Oh, that sounds swell.
285
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:07,207
Mind if I shoot my pistol
in the air to celebrate?
286
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,593
(exhales)
287
00:11:10,595 --> 00:11:13,746
Oh, boy, this is gonna turn
into a mess on Nextdoor.
288
00:11:13,899 --> 00:11:15,006
(chimes)
289
00:11:17,752 --> 00:11:18,760
(chimes)
290
00:11:19,754 --> 00:11:21,054
(chimes)
291
00:11:21,907 --> 00:11:23,056
(chimes)
292
00:11:23,909 --> 00:11:25,058
(chimes)
293
00:11:25,927 --> 00:11:27,310
(chimes)
294
00:11:34,586 --> 00:11:37,028
(chiming)
295
00:11:46,355 --> 00:11:48,873
Are you sure this whole getup
is necessary, Peter?
296
00:11:49,025 --> 00:11:50,116
I feel a little foolish.
297
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,101
It's the perfect dad uniform.
298
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,694
The free Marriott polo shirt
299
00:11:53,772 --> 00:11:56,122
tells everyone that you're
handsy when you're drunk,
300
00:11:56,274 --> 00:11:57,698
the jean shorts
say you're impotent,
301
00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:00,126
and the sunglasses say
you stormed the Capitol.
302
00:12:00,295 --> 00:12:02,369
That was a peaceful protest.
303
00:12:02,464 --> 00:12:04,948
Yeah, it's not like they were
kneeling at a football game.
304
00:12:05,041 --> 00:12:06,391
On a Sunday.
305
00:12:06,542 --> 00:12:09,452
Anyway, now you look like a man
who's ready to be a dad.
306
00:12:09,545 --> 00:12:11,287
In fact,
my son was having a problem
307
00:12:11,306 --> 00:12:13,714
that maybe a good dad
could help him solve.
308
00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,233
There's a girl I like at school,
309
00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:17,961
and I'm not sure
if she likes me back.
310
00:12:17,979 --> 00:12:19,312
Now here's what you should do:
311
00:12:19,464 --> 00:12:21,314
You take out
a hefty silver dollar,
312
00:12:21,466 --> 00:12:22,966
and you drop it
in her corset.
313
00:12:22,984 --> 00:12:25,301
If it's meant to be,
she'll accept you
314
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,971
in a room full of
distractingly floral wallpaper.
315
00:12:28,064 --> 00:12:29,730
If not,
she'll stab you in the liver
316
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:30,749
with your own boot knife.
317
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:33,126
That's how I met my Pearl.
318
00:12:35,571 --> 00:12:37,088
I think you're ready.
319
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,498
When Mayor West sees you now,
320
00:12:38,650 --> 00:12:41,167
he's gonna know you're serious
about being his dad.
321
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,002
Thank you
for all your help, Peter.
322
00:12:43,171 --> 00:12:44,912
You make a good partner,
323
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:45,930
and I want you
to have something.
324
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,490
It's the dried hand
325
00:12:47,492 --> 00:12:49,267
of a Paiute
I found in the desert.
326
00:12:49,418 --> 00:12:51,010
It's very important to me,
327
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,604
and now it's yours.
328
00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:56,265
Is-is this a way to break
some kind of curse on you?
329
00:12:57,335 --> 00:12:59,335
You need to make
the decision to take it.
330
00:12:59,428 --> 00:13:01,521
Yeah, m-maybe just
leave it on the ground.
331
00:13:01,673 --> 00:13:02,596
It doesn't work like...
332
00:13:02,690 --> 00:13:04,765
It'll just wind up
back in my pocket.
333
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:05,842
Yeah, I'm gonna pass.
334
00:13:05,860 --> 00:13:07,601
Well, looks like someone thinks
335
00:13:07,695 --> 00:13:10,771
a shave and a haircut
means he's a changed man.
336
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:15,018
Son, I don't know how much time
I have left in this world.
337
00:13:15,036 --> 00:13:16,686
Because of the cursed hand?
338
00:13:16,704 --> 00:13:18,296
That does add to the stress.
339
00:13:18,523 --> 00:13:20,965
I just want to make things
right between us.
340
00:13:21,117 --> 00:13:22,133
I don't buy it,
341
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:23,450
and I'm gonna do to you
342
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,695
what should have been done
a long time ago.
343
00:13:25,697 --> 00:13:26,696
(whistles)
344
00:13:26,698 --> 00:13:28,031
(guns cocking)
345
00:13:28,124 --> 00:13:30,383
You're under arrest
for shooting the mayor.
346
00:13:30,535 --> 00:13:31,476
You ambushed me.
347
00:13:31,703 --> 00:13:34,813
A real man is always
ready for an ambush.
348
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,557
And a man also knows
how to get out of an ambush.
349
00:13:37,709 --> 00:13:39,108
(whistles)
350
00:13:44,049 --> 00:13:45,139
Hmm.
351
00:13:45,233 --> 00:13:47,141
(video game
gunshots and screams)
352
00:13:47,235 --> 00:13:48,642
Don't you have to work today?
353
00:13:48,736 --> 00:13:50,219
No, I work on Thursday.
354
00:13:50,238 --> 00:13:52,646
Uh, dude? Today is Thursday.
355
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:53,665
Dang it.
356
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:00,421
(hoofbeats receding)
357
00:14:02,158 --> 00:14:04,133
Forgot my phone.
358
00:14:10,925 --> 00:14:12,241
(siren wailing)
359
00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:14,410
I should have never
listened to you, Peter.
360
00:14:14,429 --> 00:14:16,855
If I had my gun,
I would have gotten out of this.
361
00:14:17,082 --> 00:14:18,264
I was only trying to help.
362
00:14:18,416 --> 00:14:19,673
You want to help?
363
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:22,176
Take this Paiute hand
and put it in a safe place.
364
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,011
Oh, okay, yeah, I can...
Oh, wait a minute.
365
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,865
And I reckon you're pretty
happy with yourself,
366
00:14:27,092 --> 00:14:28,867
getting your father
arrested like this.
367
00:14:29,018 --> 00:14:30,869
I reckon you have
no right to reckon about
368
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:32,762
what I'm reckoning about.
369
00:14:32,780 --> 00:14:34,430
That's where you're wrong.
370
00:14:34,449 --> 00:14:37,283
I reckon I can reckon about
what I reckon please.
371
00:14:37,435 --> 00:14:39,118
I reckon you should
check yourself
372
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,712
before you reckon yourself.
373
00:14:40,863 --> 00:14:44,549
I reckon you know I always
come in like a reckon ball.
374
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:45,775
That Miley?
375
00:14:45,868 --> 00:14:47,201
I reckon it is.
376
00:14:47,295 --> 00:14:49,387
I don't agree with
all the piercings and haircuts,
377
00:14:49,614 --> 00:14:51,781
but she's got
one hell of a voice.
378
00:14:51,874 --> 00:14:53,349
A hell of a voice.
379
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,561
Joe, you can't arrest him.
380
00:14:56,712 --> 00:14:58,045
He shot the mayor, Peter.
381
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,547
Plus, he's got multiple
warrants in multiple states.
382
00:15:00,716 --> 00:15:03,693
Yeah, I know, he really
messed up. Like David Geffen.
383
00:15:06,814 --> 00:15:08,055
What the hell was that?
384
00:15:08,149 --> 00:15:09,908
Yeah, David Geffen
paid us $10 million
385
00:15:10,059 --> 00:15:10,909
not to do the cutaway.
386
00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:12,468
Huh. Was it bad?
387
00:15:12,561 --> 00:15:14,412
I'm not allowed to say
as part of the settlement.
388
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:17,582
All I will say is from film,
to music, to politics,
389
00:15:17,733 --> 00:15:21,628
no one has been more influential
than David Geffen.
390
00:15:24,666 --> 00:15:25,982
What's the matter, Peter?
391
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,833
Ah, I don't know,
I just feel bad
392
00:15:27,986 --> 00:15:29,168
about what happened
with Old West.
393
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,836
It's my fault he got arrested.
394
00:15:30,989 --> 00:15:32,430
He's probably gonna die in jail
395
00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:34,265
without ever
making up with his son.
396
00:15:34,417 --> 00:15:36,417
Well, I know how painful it is
397
00:15:36,511 --> 00:15:39,178
to see a man you've known
for 18 hours in distress,
398
00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:41,013
but you've got
to let it go, Peter.
399
00:15:41,166 --> 00:15:43,516
I can't do that.
Old West and I were partners,
400
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,169
and he taught me that when
you work a job with someone,
401
00:15:46,187 --> 00:15:48,262
you never leave a man behind.
402
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,840
We got to form a posse
and break him out.
403
00:15:50,858 --> 00:15:52,617
-I'm in.
-Let's do this.
404
00:15:52,844 --> 00:15:55,695
-Yeah.
-ANNOUNCER: Next up
for Clam Karaoke Night:
405
00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:56,955
it's the "Glam Guys."
406
00:15:57,182 --> 00:15:58,957
All right,
let's go rock Wilson Phillips
407
00:15:59,184 --> 00:16:01,000
and then do the posse thing.
408
00:16:04,522 --> 00:16:05,538
Where's your horse?
409
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,282
It's very hard to get
a horse last-minute.
410
00:16:08,376 --> 00:16:09,375
You should have called
last night.
411
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,694
I did.
You all got the last horses.
412
00:16:11,713 --> 00:16:13,972
The guy was totally
overwhelmed on the phone.
413
00:16:14,123 --> 00:16:16,057
He yelled at me.
414
00:16:17,368 --> 00:16:18,643
All right, Peter,
what's the plan?
415
00:16:18,794 --> 00:16:20,703
I thought you guys
were gonna have the plan.
416
00:16:20,722 --> 00:16:21,813
I formed the posse.
417
00:16:21,964 --> 00:16:23,206
Yeah, those usually go together.
418
00:16:23,224 --> 00:16:24,207
All right, let's brainstorm.
419
00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:25,483
How do we fool the police
420
00:16:25,634 --> 00:16:27,735
into breaking someone
out of a jail cell?
421
00:16:29,063 --> 00:16:30,488
Trojan Bosch.
422
00:16:33,384 --> 00:16:37,328
Oh, no way, Harry Bosch.
My favorite TV cop.
423
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:38,738
I have so many
questions for you.
424
00:16:38,890 --> 00:16:41,648
How's L.A.? You ever
meet Richard Dean Anderson?
425
00:16:41,743 --> 00:16:43,409
He lives in L.A., right?
Where does he live?
426
00:16:43,561 --> 00:16:45,670
Um, hey, settle
a bet for me, Bosch.
427
00:16:45,821 --> 00:16:47,839
In all those scenes where
you're in Italian restaurants,
428
00:16:48,066 --> 00:16:50,399
is it true
you're eating real spaghetti?
429
00:16:50,493 --> 00:16:51,400
PETER:
Shut up.
430
00:16:51,419 --> 00:16:52,510
I knew it was real spaghetti.
431
00:16:52,737 --> 00:16:54,328
All right, I'm gonna go
get us some coffees.
432
00:16:54,405 --> 00:16:56,072
You mind holding down
the fort for a sec?
433
00:16:56,090 --> 00:16:57,573
Thanks, Bosch.
434
00:16:57,592 --> 00:16:59,242
Real spaghetti. Wow.
435
00:16:59,244 --> 00:17:02,169
PETER:
He's gone. Everybody out
the black jeans door.
436
00:17:02,247 --> 00:17:05,081
Straight flush.
You got to strip.
437
00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:07,266
PETER:
What about tonight?
438
00:17:07,418 --> 00:17:08,601
What?
439
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,920
Oh, did you say, "I'm never
gonna get out of here?"
440
00:17:10,938 --> 00:17:13,606
No, I was telling
my horse to get naked.
441
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,926
Oh. Oh, well-well,
we're breaking you out tonight.
442
00:17:17,019 --> 00:17:19,095
I'm surprised
you came back for me.
443
00:17:19,188 --> 00:17:21,855
You taught me to never
leave another man behind.
444
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,524
I didn't think you'd remember.
445
00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:26,711
I associate you with guns,
guns make me think of war,
446
00:17:26,862 --> 00:17:27,937
Vietnam was a war,
447
00:17:28,030 --> 00:17:30,439
and N.A.M.
is "Never Abandon Man."
448
00:17:30,458 --> 00:17:32,592
I-I don't need
to hear the process.
449
00:17:33,628 --> 00:17:35,294
Allen, you came.
450
00:17:35,446 --> 00:17:36,445
Of course I did.
451
00:17:36,464 --> 00:17:38,872
And I think margs
are gonna be on you
452
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,224
after this adventure, huh?
453
00:17:40,451 --> 00:17:41,967
I don't drink that (bleep).
454
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,561
Okay, we'll
figure something out.
455
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,063
Everyone wanted to help.
456
00:17:45,214 --> 00:17:47,565
We even got a member of
your original posse to show up.
457
00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:50,418
The Melanoma Kid.
458
00:17:50,478 --> 00:17:52,219
(through electrolarynx):
I wouldn't miss it...
459
00:17:52,313 --> 00:17:53,571
(gasps)
460
00:17:53,722 --> 00:17:54,964
...for the world.
461
00:17:55,057 --> 00:17:56,074
That's a guy?
462
00:17:56,301 --> 00:17:57,983
I thought it was
a big autumn leaf.
463
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:00,244
Sorry, Bosch,
we ran out of milk,
464
00:18:00,396 --> 00:18:02,530
so I put in
a dollop of cream cheese.
465
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,248
Had to stir a lot, so...
466
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,991
Tell me about your hooker mom.
467
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,169
What was that like?
468
00:18:09,647 --> 00:18:11,997
What the hell happened
in here, Bosch?
469
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:14,317
Wait a minute.
Frozen expression,
470
00:18:14,319 --> 00:18:16,652
painted-on clothes,
open ass door.
471
00:18:16,745 --> 00:18:18,988
We've been Trojan Bosched again.
472
00:18:19,081 --> 00:18:21,599
♪ ♪
473
00:18:24,829 --> 00:18:27,271
Looks like Daddy West
is flying the coop again.
474
00:18:27,498 --> 00:18:29,923
You keep eating apples
like that, Caleb,
475
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,193
you're gonna get diarrhea.
476
00:18:35,006 --> 00:18:36,188
I think we lost them.
477
00:18:36,341 --> 00:18:37,857
Pretty sure
my Chapstick fell out.
478
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:40,118
-Almost certain of it.
-(gun cocks)
479
00:18:40,269 --> 00:18:43,512
I'm gonna need you boys
to turn right back around.
480
00:18:43,531 --> 00:18:45,623
Mayor West,
we broke him out for you.
481
00:18:45,774 --> 00:18:48,017
Can't you see he wants
to make things right?
482
00:18:48,035 --> 00:18:50,277
There's only one person
he's ever cared about,
483
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:51,537
and it's himself.
484
00:18:51,689 --> 00:18:54,448
He's done walking out of towns
consequence-free.
485
00:18:54,542 --> 00:18:57,877
I knew once I broke out
that I'd see you again.
486
00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,286
Maybe I do deserve
487
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:02,640
to spend my remaining days
in a jail cell.
488
00:19:02,867 --> 00:19:04,233
And I'll let you take me,
489
00:19:04,235 --> 00:19:06,535
but not until I say
what I have to say.
490
00:19:06,629 --> 00:19:09,538
Say it, then.
Why'd you leave us?
491
00:19:09,707 --> 00:19:11,207
Because if I stayed,
492
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:14,043
you would have grown up
to be just like your father,
493
00:19:14,136 --> 00:19:17,488
a lonely, loveless,
no-good outlaw.
494
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:21,217
I wanted you to be a better man
than I ever could be.
495
00:19:21,235 --> 00:19:24,387
And look at you now.
Tell me it didn't work.
496
00:19:24,521 --> 00:19:26,497
("Wrecking Ball"
by Miley Cyrus playing)
497
00:19:26,649 --> 00:19:30,576
♪ I came in like
a wrecking ball... ♪
498
00:19:30,728 --> 00:19:32,545
Aw, hell, Daddy.
499
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,250
Happy Father's Day.
500
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,511
I never want to see you again.
501
00:19:40,663 --> 00:19:42,263
You never will.
502
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,591
Where you gonna go now?
503
00:19:45,743 --> 00:19:47,410
I have another son in Utah
504
00:19:47,428 --> 00:19:50,003
who wants to shoot me
on the Fourth of July.
505
00:19:50,081 --> 00:19:53,524
I'll probably head that way.
So long.
506
00:19:53,751 --> 00:19:55,601
Goodbye, Old West.
507
00:19:55,753 --> 00:19:57,453
(horse whinnies)
508
00:19:57,588 --> 00:20:00,323
♪ ♪
509
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,442
Well, I spy a group of guys
510
00:20:03,594 --> 00:20:06,946
that could use a frosty mug
of root beer at the A&W.
511
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,189
You know, Mayor West,
you're pretty lucky
512
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:10,933
to have a stepdad like Allen.
513
00:20:10,952 --> 00:20:13,878
Yeah. Aside from
not believing in vaccines,
514
00:20:14,105 --> 00:20:16,088
-he's a pretty cool guy.
-Oh.
515
00:20:21,946 --> 00:20:23,946
I sure am gonna miss Old West.
516
00:20:24,039 --> 00:20:25,948
He taught me
a lot about friendship
517
00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:27,450
and what it means to be a dad.
518
00:20:27,618 --> 00:20:29,618
Like what?
What did he teach you?
519
00:20:29,712 --> 00:20:31,878
I-I don't know. Cowboy stuff?
520
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,232
I didn't realize
there was gonna be a quiz.
521
00:20:34,459 --> 00:20:37,884
Well, it's probably time
to hang this up, huh, Dad?
522
00:20:37,979 --> 00:20:39,478
Yep, I suppose so.
523
00:20:39,630 --> 00:20:41,797
LOIS:
"The David Geffen Living Room?"
524
00:20:41,816 --> 00:20:43,241
What... What is this?
525
00:20:43,392 --> 00:20:45,651
Oh, the lawyers said
since he gave us $10 million,
526
00:20:45,803 --> 00:20:47,136
he's contractually entitled
527
00:20:47,229 --> 00:20:48,654
to have his name
on a part of the house.
528
00:20:48,806 --> 00:20:50,063
That doesn't seem fair.
529
00:20:50,157 --> 00:20:52,250
I know, such rich guy bull crap.
530
00:20:52,401 --> 00:20:54,252
But we'll have
to continue this conversation
531
00:20:54,403 --> 00:20:57,738
on next week's episode
of David Geffen's Family Guy.
532
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,674
-What?
-David Geffen good night.