1 00:00:01,017 --> 00:00:04,754 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,788 --> 00:00:08,058 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:11,661 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,695 --> 00:00:14,664 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,698 --> 00:00:18,168 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,202 --> 00:00:21,571 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,107 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:24,508 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,541 --> 00:00:30,114 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:35,051 --> 00:00:37,053 (drone buzzing) 11 00:00:42,892 --> 00:00:44,794 At last, I shall exact my vengeance 12 00:00:44,828 --> 00:00:46,396 and snuff out the miserable flame 13 00:00:46,430 --> 00:00:48,865 that has been your life, vile woman. 14 00:00:48,898 --> 00:00:51,535 ♪ Growing one carrot ♪ 15 00:00:51,568 --> 00:00:54,404 ♪ Taking up time ♪ 16 00:00:54,438 --> 00:00:58,742 ♪ Filling up the day with nonsense ♪ 17 00:00:58,775 --> 00:01:02,212 ♪ Vodka in the bushes ♪ 18 00:01:02,246 --> 00:01:05,882 (humming) 19 00:01:05,915 --> 00:01:09,753 ♪ Making it better, making it bright ♪ 20 00:01:09,786 --> 00:01:11,488 ♪ What a day ♪ 21 00:01:11,521 --> 00:01:13,790 ♪ Think I'll check the mail. ♪ 22 00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:17,294 Time to put you out of your misery. 23 00:01:19,796 --> 00:01:21,231 What the deuce? 24 00:01:21,265 --> 00:01:22,766 Sorry I broke your toy. 25 00:01:22,799 --> 00:01:25,001 Toy? This is a drone. 26 00:01:25,034 --> 00:01:27,637 Grown men who have never had sexual relations 27 00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:28,972 fly them over people's houses 28 00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:30,607 to try and see something. I don't know. 29 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,409 Here, want to play with my toy? 30 00:01:32,442 --> 00:01:34,778 -What the hell is this? -It's a magic wand. 31 00:01:34,811 --> 00:01:36,513 Watch. Alakazam! 32 00:01:36,546 --> 00:01:38,114 I cast the tickle spell. 33 00:01:38,148 --> 00:01:39,483 (both giggle) 34 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:40,784 Okay, okay, you got me. 35 00:01:40,817 --> 00:01:43,753 But seriously, cross me again, and I will end you. 36 00:01:43,787 --> 00:01:45,922 You're funny. My name's Hudson. 37 00:01:45,955 --> 00:01:47,591 Want to play "spin in a circle"? 38 00:01:47,624 --> 00:01:49,793 I'm Stewie. Yeah, I don't think I... 39 00:01:49,826 --> 00:01:51,195 What the...? Stop it! 40 00:01:51,228 --> 00:01:52,996 I'm losing track of my surroundings. 41 00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:55,432 Hey, this is kind of fun. 42 00:01:55,465 --> 00:01:56,766 Whee! 43 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,335 Yes. Whee. 44 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,003 Whee! 45 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:01,338 (both laugh) 46 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,607 (laughing): Oh, my. Oh, my. 47 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,209 WOMAN: Hudson, time to go. 48 00:02:05,242 --> 00:02:06,610 I got to go home now. 49 00:02:06,643 --> 00:02:08,212 I'm glad I met you, Stewie. 50 00:02:08,245 --> 00:02:09,713 You're neat. Bye. 51 00:02:09,746 --> 00:02:11,215 Bye, Hudson. 52 00:02:11,248 --> 00:02:12,449 I like him. 53 00:02:12,482 --> 00:02:14,784 He's more fun than an Eddie Murphy bed. 54 00:02:14,818 --> 00:02:16,353 And check this out. 55 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,488 (laughs like Eddie Murphy) 56 00:02:18,522 --> 00:02:20,457 That's cool. Is it a queen? 57 00:02:20,490 --> 00:02:24,160 Not sure, but people have said it is. 58 00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:32,068 Wait a minute. 59 00:02:32,101 --> 00:02:34,471 This is a self-empowerment seminar. 60 00:02:34,504 --> 00:02:35,572 You lied to me. 61 00:02:35,605 --> 00:02:37,407 You said we were going to Baskin-Robbins. 62 00:02:37,441 --> 00:02:40,410 I said we were going to bask in Robbins' glow. 63 00:02:40,444 --> 00:02:41,978 You know what you did. 64 00:02:42,011 --> 00:02:43,347 I do. 65 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,849 ANNOUNCER (over P.A.): Ladies and gentlemen, 66 00:02:45,882 --> 00:02:48,685 give it up for Tony Robbins. 67 00:02:48,718 --> 00:02:50,687 (cheering and applause) 68 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,722 ♪ 69 00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:59,263 How the (bleep) is everyone? 70 00:02:59,296 --> 00:03:02,399 MAN: Ooh, he swore. I trust this guy. 71 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:05,034 All of you here are capable of greatness. 72 00:03:05,068 --> 00:03:06,503 MAN 2: Yay! 73 00:03:06,536 --> 00:03:08,405 But some will never achieve it. 74 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,773 MAN 2: Oh, no! 75 00:03:09,806 --> 00:03:11,007 You, sir. 76 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,909 Come out here. 77 00:03:16,913 --> 00:03:20,183 Sheesh, your head is the size of a picnic watermelon. 78 00:03:20,216 --> 00:03:21,885 Ha! I've been told that. 79 00:03:21,918 --> 00:03:23,920 And you sound like you were lost at sea 80 00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:26,856 and told not to drink seawater but drank seawater. 81 00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:28,925 Peter, will you just listen to him? 82 00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:30,727 Tony, this is why I brought him. 83 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:33,697 He's never willing to actually confront his issues. 84 00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:36,099 Sounds like you have no self-esteem. 85 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,901 I don't deserve self-esteem. 86 00:03:37,934 --> 00:03:40,036 Peter, I was once a lot like you: 87 00:03:40,069 --> 00:03:43,773 unmotivated, dangerously obese, always relying on cutaways... 88 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,475 You know, that reminds me of the time... 89 00:03:45,509 --> 00:03:46,876 No, Peter. No more cutaways. 90 00:03:46,910 --> 00:03:48,545 -Stay in the present. -Okay. 91 00:03:48,578 --> 00:03:50,880 Okay. Now tell me what you feel. 92 00:03:50,914 --> 00:03:52,882 Uh, a partial erection. 93 00:03:52,916 --> 00:03:54,784 I don't get touched very often. 94 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:57,253 You know you deserve a better life, right, Peter? 95 00:03:57,287 --> 00:03:59,623 Yes. Getting hard to breathe in here. 96 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,658 I want to give you that life, Peter. 97 00:04:01,691 --> 00:04:04,227 Time to seize your personal power. 98 00:04:04,260 --> 00:04:05,662 (gasping) 99 00:04:05,695 --> 00:04:07,631 Yeah, by getting away from you, you weirdo. 100 00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,733 But first, here's that cutaway I was gonna do 101 00:04:09,766 --> 00:04:11,000 before you made me skip it. 102 00:04:11,034 --> 00:04:12,936 Only now it'll make no sense. 103 00:04:12,969 --> 00:04:17,106 "Cast of Parks and Rec Peter" away! 104 00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:23,447 I can't believe you dragged me to that fraud. 105 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,482 That man has nothing to offer me. (screams) 106 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,351 (thunder rumbles) 107 00:04:27,384 --> 00:04:28,952 Tony Robbins. 108 00:04:28,985 --> 00:04:30,487 Listen, I don't have long. 109 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,256 If I get soaked in the rain, I'll be too heavy to move. 110 00:04:33,289 --> 00:04:35,959 Peter, I've seen thousands of people over the years 111 00:04:35,992 --> 00:04:38,094 and helped every single one of them. 112 00:04:38,127 --> 00:04:41,097 I'm not going to let you be my first failure. 113 00:04:41,130 --> 00:04:42,866 I told you, I don't want your help. 114 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,635 (wheels spinning) 115 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,605 Peter, I swear, 116 00:04:48,638 --> 00:04:50,640 I won't stop trying to help you no matter what. 117 00:04:50,674 --> 00:04:51,641 (thunder rumbles) 118 00:04:51,675 --> 00:04:53,543 (Tony screams) 119 00:04:53,577 --> 00:04:54,811 (tires squeal) 120 00:04:56,012 --> 00:04:57,614 Oh, my God! Peter, stop the car! 121 00:04:57,647 --> 00:04:59,816 I think he got struck by lightning. 122 00:04:59,849 --> 00:05:02,185 (tires screech) 123 00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,788 Wait, w-where is he? 124 00:05:04,821 --> 00:05:05,989 He's gone. 125 00:05:06,022 --> 00:05:08,157 This is freaking me out. 126 00:05:08,191 --> 00:05:10,960 Are... are you carrying a flask now? 127 00:05:10,994 --> 00:05:13,630 This is about you getting better, not me. 128 00:05:13,663 --> 00:05:15,832 (exhales) 129 00:05:19,503 --> 00:05:21,738 Hey, there's Hudson. 130 00:05:21,771 --> 00:05:23,206 (laughs) 131 00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:25,809 Stewie, you're, like, 100 times more advanced than that kid. 132 00:05:25,842 --> 00:05:27,477 Why do you want to hang out with him so badly? 133 00:05:27,511 --> 00:05:29,413 He's just, like, a cool guy. 134 00:05:29,446 --> 00:05:31,981 Hi, Stewie. I'm putting sand on a cat poo. 135 00:05:32,015 --> 00:05:33,417 Cool! 136 00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:34,651 (sighs) 137 00:05:34,684 --> 00:05:36,352 I like you, Stewie. 138 00:05:36,386 --> 00:05:38,488 Can I come over for a playdate? 139 00:05:38,522 --> 00:05:40,323 Oh, my God. 140 00:05:40,356 --> 00:05:42,091 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 141 00:05:42,125 --> 00:05:43,393 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! 142 00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:45,695 Brian, can Hudson come over for a playdate? 143 00:05:45,729 --> 00:05:47,664 Sure, I guess so. 144 00:05:47,697 --> 00:05:49,699 Never heard you ask for a playdate before. 145 00:05:49,733 --> 00:05:52,035 I know, but there's a first time for everything. 146 00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:54,370 Like when I finally built the Leaning Tower of Pisa 147 00:05:54,404 --> 00:05:55,872 out of LEGOs. 148 00:05:57,907 --> 00:05:59,275 I did it! 149 00:05:59,308 --> 00:06:01,678 Mom! Come look! Mom! 150 00:06:01,711 --> 00:06:03,447 LOIS: Yeah, be right there, Stewie. 151 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:04,914 Where's the bush vodka? 152 00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,049 (leaves rustling) 153 00:06:06,082 --> 00:06:07,451 Where is it? Where is it?! 154 00:06:07,484 --> 00:06:09,786 Ah, there it is. 155 00:06:09,819 --> 00:06:12,255 Hi, Stewbie. 156 00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:15,058 You playing with your kitty cat? 157 00:06:21,064 --> 00:06:24,200 Ah, the privacy of all glass around me. 158 00:06:24,233 --> 00:06:26,202 Finally, I can pick my nose. 159 00:06:26,235 --> 00:06:28,237 ♪ 160 00:06:56,466 --> 00:06:58,468 ♪ 161 00:07:25,294 --> 00:07:27,296 ♪ 162 00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:44,313 TONY (through car): Hey, Peter, next time use a tissue. 163 00:07:44,347 --> 00:07:47,050 -Who said that? -It's me. Tony Robbins. 164 00:07:47,083 --> 00:07:48,217 Tony Robbins? 165 00:07:48,251 --> 00:07:49,786 That's impossible. You're dead. 166 00:07:49,819 --> 00:07:50,987 TONY: That may be true, 167 00:07:51,020 --> 00:07:52,622 but the lightning bolt that killed me 168 00:07:52,656 --> 00:07:55,458 seems to have magically transferred my personal power-- 169 00:07:55,491 --> 00:07:56,993 trademark-- into your car. 170 00:07:57,026 --> 00:07:59,796 Peter, I told you I was going to help you, 171 00:07:59,829 --> 00:08:02,632 and I'm not leaving until I make good on my promise. 172 00:08:02,666 --> 00:08:04,233 Suit yourself. 173 00:08:04,267 --> 00:08:06,803 Hey, if you're dead, can you ask Bill Paxton 174 00:08:06,836 --> 00:08:08,572 if he's the same as Bill Pullman? 175 00:08:08,605 --> 00:08:11,174 Sure. Hang on. 176 00:08:11,207 --> 00:08:13,142 He said no, but he winked. 177 00:08:13,176 --> 00:08:15,511 Ah! 178 00:08:19,182 --> 00:08:21,384 Hey, Stewie, let's play cops and robbers. 179 00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:23,987 Bang! Bang! Bang! Got you. 180 00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:25,755 (chuckles) Gun? 181 00:08:25,789 --> 00:08:29,525 Oh, that's-that's not... that's not a gun. 182 00:08:32,528 --> 00:08:34,731 These are guns. 183 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,365 You're welcome, Paul Hogan. 184 00:08:36,399 --> 00:08:39,068 Any time someone says a weapon is not what it is, 185 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,037 Paul Hogan gets a royalty. 186 00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:43,106 Royalty check, Mr. Hogan. 187 00:08:43,139 --> 00:08:45,241 PAUL HOGAN: Thanks, Jumpy. 188 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:47,911 Whoa! What are all these for? 189 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,045 Oh, the yoozh: 190 00:08:49,078 --> 00:08:50,780 destroying enemies, world domination. 191 00:08:50,814 --> 00:08:52,048 Oh, and killing my mother. 192 00:08:52,081 --> 00:08:53,783 You want to hurt your mommy? 193 00:08:53,817 --> 00:08:55,018 LOIS: Stewie? 194 00:08:55,051 --> 00:08:56,519 Blast! Here she comes. 195 00:08:56,552 --> 00:09:00,356 Well, look at these handsome little boys. 196 00:09:00,389 --> 00:09:02,558 Come downstairs. I made your favorites: 197 00:09:02,592 --> 00:09:05,595 grilled cheese cut to look like a dinosaur. 198 00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:07,764 Ugh. They never look like a dinosaur. 199 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,232 Your mom seems nice. 200 00:09:09,265 --> 00:09:10,399 She's a slag. 201 00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:12,235 Well, I hope you don't use your guns 202 00:09:12,268 --> 00:09:14,070 to kill your mom or do anything bad. 203 00:09:14,103 --> 00:09:15,204 'Cause if you do, 204 00:09:15,238 --> 00:09:16,873 I won't be able to play with you, 205 00:09:16,906 --> 00:09:18,775 and that's my favorite thing now. 206 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,043 It is? 207 00:09:20,076 --> 00:09:21,945 -Uh-huh. -Mine, too. 208 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,748 You know what? I'm going to let her live. 209 00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,950 I must say, I've been evil so long, 210 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,718 I've forgotten what it's like to be kind. 211 00:09:28,752 --> 00:09:31,254 And it's all because of our friendship, Hudson. 212 00:09:31,287 --> 00:09:33,657 -You really mean that? -You bet I do. 213 00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:35,424 And I always tell it like it is, 214 00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:38,027 like when I used to write tombstones. 215 00:09:41,097 --> 00:09:43,767 Complained a lot is what she did. 216 00:09:48,204 --> 00:09:50,306 Stewie, what are you doing? 217 00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:51,808 Having a funeral, Bri. 218 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:54,077 Say good-bye to Evil Stewie. 219 00:09:54,110 --> 00:09:56,112 CHRIS: Did we get a pool? 220 00:09:57,881 --> 00:09:59,315 Is this a pool? 221 00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:07,657 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 222 00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,993 Stewie, slow down, slow down. What happened? 223 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,928 We went to the zoo. We saw an ape. 224 00:10:11,961 --> 00:10:13,296 At first we didn't think we'd see him 225 00:10:13,329 --> 00:10:15,031 'cause he was, like, hiding back in his house. 226 00:10:15,064 --> 00:10:16,599 But then he came out. We saw him! 227 00:10:16,632 --> 00:10:18,634 We saw the ape! He was big. 228 00:10:18,668 --> 00:10:20,136 And then-- and then-- and then-- 229 00:10:20,169 --> 00:10:21,671 and then-- and then-- and then... 230 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,439 Okay, I get it. You had fun. 231 00:10:23,472 --> 00:10:26,509 Wait, you're not mad I went without you, are you? 232 00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:28,377 No, no, I-I was only going for you. 233 00:10:28,411 --> 00:10:31,447 And maybe to taunt the animals that aren't able to leave. 234 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,016 Which is all of them. 235 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,617 Losers. 236 00:10:34,650 --> 00:10:36,119 All right, you have to take us to lunch, 237 00:10:36,152 --> 00:10:38,487 but first we need to take our nap. 238 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:46,495 Here's your triple bacon burger and your onion rings. 239 00:10:47,697 --> 00:10:48,965 Ah, crap. 240 00:10:48,998 --> 00:10:50,566 There's only nine pieces of bacon. 241 00:10:50,599 --> 00:10:51,868 I paid for 12. 242 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,302 But I don't wanna make a fuss. 243 00:10:53,336 --> 00:10:54,871 TONY (through car): Peter, listen to yourself. 244 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:57,974 No one will respect you until you respect yourself first. 245 00:10:58,007 --> 00:10:59,575 Yeah. But I'm a nobody. 246 00:10:59,608 --> 00:11:01,010 You're not a nobody. 247 00:11:01,044 --> 00:11:03,713 Your meal is just as important as anyone else. 248 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:04,981 You're right. 249 00:11:05,014 --> 00:11:06,482 I'm not a nobody. 250 00:11:06,515 --> 00:11:07,717 TONY: Say it again. 251 00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:09,085 I'm not a nobody! 252 00:11:09,118 --> 00:11:10,586 TONY: That's the spirit, Peter. 253 00:11:10,619 --> 00:11:12,655 Now yell at that nobody in the window. 254 00:11:12,688 --> 00:11:14,858 You there! I demand more bacon. 255 00:11:14,891 --> 00:11:16,826 Oh, I'm sorry. Here's more bacon. 256 00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:18,694 That's not more bacon... 257 00:11:18,728 --> 00:11:20,496 This is more bacon! 258 00:11:20,529 --> 00:11:22,498 Big day, Mr. Hogan. 259 00:11:22,531 --> 00:11:24,533 PAUL HOGAN: Keep 'em comin', Jumpy! 260 00:11:26,535 --> 00:11:28,504 Here's your Star Wars kids' meal. 261 00:11:28,537 --> 00:11:30,239 Which action figures did we get? 262 00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:31,941 I got Kylo Ren. 263 00:11:31,975 --> 00:11:34,577 I got the role during the two months I was a hot actor, 264 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,179 and now they're stuck with me. 265 00:11:36,212 --> 00:11:37,781 I got Forest Whitaker. 266 00:11:37,814 --> 00:11:40,583 Even as a toy you can't tell where he's looking. 267 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:43,052 I wish I had the poorly-cast Kylo Ren. 268 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:46,522 Here, Stewie. You can have mine. 269 00:11:46,555 --> 00:11:48,524 You're giving me the better one? 270 00:11:48,557 --> 00:11:50,026 Why would you do that? 271 00:11:50,059 --> 00:11:51,527 Because you're my friend. 272 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:53,562 Yes. 273 00:11:53,596 --> 00:11:55,765 You're my friend. 274 00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:58,534 You're my best friend. 275 00:11:58,567 --> 00:12:02,205 Let's choke on these... together. 276 00:12:02,238 --> 00:12:04,240 (both gagging, choking) 277 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,778 (both panting) 278 00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:10,579 That was fun. 279 00:12:10,613 --> 00:12:12,949 Let's switch. 280 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,984 (both gagging, choking) 281 00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:24,227 Okay, guys. Time to play "parachute." 282 00:12:24,260 --> 00:12:25,461 Grab an end 283 00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:27,563 and... lift. 284 00:12:27,596 --> 00:12:29,432 You know who loves "parachute"? 285 00:12:29,465 --> 00:12:30,834 My best friend, Hudson. 286 00:12:30,867 --> 00:12:32,735 -You know Hudson? -I know Hudson, too. 287 00:12:32,768 --> 00:12:34,603 Are you going to his birthday party tomorrow? 288 00:12:34,637 --> 00:12:35,939 I'm autistic. 289 00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:37,640 TEACHER: And... lift. 290 00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:38,774 Birthday party? 291 00:12:38,808 --> 00:12:40,509 Yeah, it's at the Family Fun Zone. 292 00:12:40,543 --> 00:12:41,845 Everyone was invited. 293 00:12:41,878 --> 00:12:44,213 I take up a great deal of the teacher's time. 294 00:12:48,151 --> 00:12:50,086 -Where's the mail? -On the table. 295 00:12:50,119 --> 00:12:51,821 What's going on? You seem upset. 296 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,789 Oh, you're a... you're a real student 297 00:12:53,823 --> 00:12:55,158 of the human condition, aren't you? 298 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,260 Yet, somehow, it escapes your writing. 299 00:12:57,293 --> 00:12:59,262 Whoa! Why are you attacking me? 300 00:12:59,295 --> 00:13:00,663 (sighs) I'm sorry, Brian. 301 00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:03,933 Everyone but me got an invite to Hudson's birthday. 302 00:13:03,967 --> 00:13:05,268 I know why this happened. 303 00:13:05,301 --> 00:13:07,770 I called him my best friend too quickly. 304 00:13:07,803 --> 00:13:09,338 Well, maybe it wasn't meant to be. 305 00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:11,307 But, hey, I'm-I'm still your friend. 306 00:13:12,842 --> 00:13:14,944 (as Clint Eastwood): Yeah, but Hudson isn't. 307 00:13:14,978 --> 00:13:18,281 And that's just something I have to live with. 308 00:13:18,314 --> 00:13:20,316 ♪ 309 00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:26,822 (thunder rumbles) 310 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,230 Stewie, it's 2:00 a.m. 311 00:13:34,263 --> 00:13:36,032 Revenge doesn't sleep. 312 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,800 Come on. Come back to bed. 313 00:13:37,833 --> 00:13:39,002 No. 314 00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:41,137 There's something I gotta do. 315 00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:42,705 Go get 'em, tiger. 316 00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:44,407 Hey. 317 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,442 Shut your (bleep) mouth. 318 00:13:47,944 --> 00:13:49,946 (thunder rumbling) 319 00:13:55,784 --> 00:13:58,021 Victory shall be mine. 320 00:13:58,054 --> 00:14:00,056 (thunder rumbles) 321 00:14:01,524 --> 00:14:03,392 Ha. That's what the baby used to say 322 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:04,928 when I was your age. 323 00:14:04,961 --> 00:14:07,863 Shut up, Dad. I'm watching Rick and Morty. 324 00:14:10,866 --> 00:14:15,171 So... does Mommy have friends over sometimes at night? 325 00:14:15,204 --> 00:14:17,273 Sometimes. 326 00:14:17,306 --> 00:14:20,676 It must be weird having only women come over to see Mommy. 327 00:14:20,709 --> 00:14:22,411 No, it's mostly men. 328 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,113 Oh, it is. 329 00:14:24,147 --> 00:14:26,082 And you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge? 330 00:14:33,489 --> 00:14:34,790 Good morning, family. 331 00:14:34,823 --> 00:14:37,260 My, who's this go-getter? 332 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,695 Tony Robbins has helped me become a better person. 333 00:14:39,728 --> 00:14:44,233 In fact, today, I'm gonna ask for-- nay, demand-- a raise. 334 00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:46,035 "Nay"? Wow. 335 00:14:46,069 --> 00:14:48,137 This new you is a bigger surprise 336 00:14:48,171 --> 00:14:49,738 than when they're making fun of a celebrity 337 00:14:49,772 --> 00:14:51,274 on Saturday Night Live 338 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,377 and the real-life celebrity walks in behind them. 339 00:14:54,410 --> 00:14:57,613 (chuckles) Boy, they're really socking it to this celebrity. 340 00:14:57,646 --> 00:15:00,716 (chuckles) Yeah, can you imagine how mad the celebrity would be? 341 00:15:00,749 --> 00:15:02,918 I mean, wherever they are at this particular moment, 342 00:15:02,952 --> 00:15:04,553 if they're watching, they must be... 343 00:15:04,587 --> 00:15:05,721 (both gasp) 344 00:15:05,754 --> 00:15:06,889 Oh. (laughs) 345 00:15:06,922 --> 00:15:08,491 That's the actual celebrity 346 00:15:08,524 --> 00:15:09,993 walking up right behind 'em. 347 00:15:10,026 --> 00:15:11,995 He-he's catching 'em right in the act. 348 00:15:12,028 --> 00:15:13,929 The-The SNL actor doesn't know. 349 00:15:13,963 --> 00:15:15,398 Aw, he's gonna get in trouble. 350 00:15:15,431 --> 00:15:17,766 Look how mad the actual celebrity is. 351 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,468 He's folding his arms and frowning. 352 00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:21,971 He tapped the SNL actor on the shoulder. 353 00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:24,607 Look how surprised the SNL actor is! 354 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,575 Oh! He's completely busted! 355 00:15:26,609 --> 00:15:29,678 (screams and laughs) How is this happening?! 356 00:15:29,712 --> 00:15:31,747 (both screaming) 357 00:15:31,780 --> 00:15:33,149 Oh, my God! 358 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,784 I can't believe it! 359 00:15:35,818 --> 00:15:38,254 I was watching upstairs on Hulu! 360 00:15:38,287 --> 00:15:40,523 I saw it on my phone! 361 00:15:40,556 --> 00:15:42,658 My plane has Wi-Fi! 362 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:50,133 Stewie? Stewie? 363 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,437 "Quahog Family Fun Zone"? 364 00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:55,671 (dramatic musical sting) 365 00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:58,307 Uh-oh. 366 00:15:59,808 --> 00:16:01,944 Stewie's dug up all his weapons. 367 00:16:01,977 --> 00:16:04,113 Oh, my God, I've got to stop him. 368 00:16:04,147 --> 00:16:06,349 Go get 'em, tiger. 369 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:07,516 Hey. 370 00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,752 Shut your (bleep) mouth. 371 00:16:13,489 --> 00:16:15,124 Tony! You're not gonna believe it. 372 00:16:15,158 --> 00:16:17,293 I demanded a raise just like you told me to 373 00:16:17,326 --> 00:16:18,794 and they gave it to me. 374 00:16:18,827 --> 00:16:19,828 Tony? 375 00:16:19,862 --> 00:16:21,664 Tony? You in there? 376 00:16:21,697 --> 00:16:23,032 TONY: Guess who, Peter. 377 00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,233 Geena Davis? 378 00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:26,135 No, it's me, Peter. Turn around. 379 00:16:26,169 --> 00:16:28,704 Tony? You're alive? 380 00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:30,173 But... how? 381 00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:32,007 I saw you get struck by lightning. 382 00:16:32,041 --> 00:16:33,909 I was created by lightning, Peter, 383 00:16:33,942 --> 00:16:35,578 in a lab, like Frankenstein. 384 00:16:35,611 --> 00:16:37,146 And what do you think about fire? 385 00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:38,814 (roars) 386 00:16:38,847 --> 00:16:40,583 Anyway, after the lightning strike, 387 00:16:40,616 --> 00:16:42,085 I climbed into your trunk 388 00:16:42,118 --> 00:16:43,919 and that's where I've been living the past week. 389 00:16:43,952 --> 00:16:47,390 So, whenever I heard your voice, that was just you in the trunk? 390 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:48,657 That's right. 391 00:16:48,691 --> 00:16:50,193 Why would you go to all that trouble? 392 00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,760 Peter, I told you, 393 00:16:51,794 --> 00:16:54,897 I wasn't going to let you be my first failure. 394 00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:59,168 Wow, Tony, I don't know how I can possibly thank you. 395 00:16:59,202 --> 00:17:00,836 You don't need to thank me, Peter. 396 00:17:00,869 --> 00:17:03,005 I have hundreds of millions of dollars. 397 00:17:03,038 --> 00:17:04,507 I keep it in my forehead. 398 00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:06,041 Well, I better be going. 399 00:17:06,075 --> 00:17:08,177 You have a Smart car? 400 00:17:08,211 --> 00:17:09,812 I have two. 401 00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:17,420 I'm coming, broken people! 402 00:17:20,923 --> 00:17:23,359 (happy music playing, indistinct chatter and laughter) 403 00:17:23,392 --> 00:17:24,727 ANNOUNCER (over P.A.): Hey, everybody, 404 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,362 we want to give a special shout-out 405 00:17:26,395 --> 00:17:28,531 to little Hudson on his birthday. 406 00:17:28,564 --> 00:17:30,399 (cheering) 407 00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:36,272 (beeping) 408 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:37,540 (Stewie grunts) 409 00:17:37,573 --> 00:17:39,742 (beeping grows faster) 410 00:17:39,775 --> 00:17:40,743 (explosion) 411 00:17:40,776 --> 00:17:41,744 (children screaming) 412 00:17:41,777 --> 00:17:43,379 Oh, no. Soda! 413 00:17:43,412 --> 00:17:44,713 Sticky balls! 414 00:17:44,747 --> 00:17:47,015 ♪ 415 00:17:52,788 --> 00:17:54,790 (children screaming) 416 00:18:02,265 --> 00:18:04,267 (laughing, then screaming) 417 00:18:11,774 --> 00:18:13,642 Damn you all. 418 00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:18,781 (screaming) 419 00:18:24,453 --> 00:18:27,055 ♪ 420 00:18:34,663 --> 00:18:35,764 Stewie? 421 00:18:35,798 --> 00:18:37,766 That's my name, don't wear it out. 422 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,768 Yeah, let that wash over you. 423 00:18:39,802 --> 00:18:41,837 Learned that from a third grader. 424 00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:42,971 Any last words? 425 00:18:43,005 --> 00:18:44,006 Yeah. 426 00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:45,474 I'm glad to see you. 427 00:18:45,508 --> 00:18:48,143 You never RSVP'd to the invite my mom sent. 428 00:18:48,177 --> 00:18:50,946 You... You invited me? 429 00:18:50,979 --> 00:18:52,948 BRIAN: Yes. He did. 430 00:18:52,981 --> 00:18:53,949 Brian? 431 00:18:53,982 --> 00:18:55,184 What are you doing here? 432 00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:56,652 And how do you know I was invited? 433 00:18:56,685 --> 00:18:58,120 Because... 434 00:18:58,153 --> 00:18:59,955 I threw your invitation away. 435 00:18:59,988 --> 00:19:01,324 You what? 436 00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:02,658 I know. I'm sorry. 437 00:19:02,691 --> 00:19:05,461 I-I just... I saw how you were connecting with Hudson 438 00:19:05,494 --> 00:19:08,197 and I-I was afraid of losing our friendship. 439 00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:09,698 Friendship? 440 00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:11,967 Brian, you and I have never been friends. 441 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,802 We... We haven't? 442 00:19:13,836 --> 00:19:15,471 No. Friends are people 443 00:19:15,504 --> 00:19:17,072 who come in and out of our lives. 444 00:19:17,105 --> 00:19:19,141 But you and I are family. 445 00:19:19,174 --> 00:19:20,543 That's forever. 446 00:19:27,350 --> 00:19:29,352 Sorry I caused all this trouble. 447 00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:30,919 I hope you can forgive me. 448 00:19:30,953 --> 00:19:33,922 Ah, that's okay, nothing could ever come between us. 449 00:19:33,956 --> 00:19:36,725 I'm even going to make a speech at your wedding. 450 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:38,827 So Brian and I are down in Mexico, 451 00:19:38,861 --> 00:19:41,196 and, as usual, he doesn't have any cash on him. 452 00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:42,598 That's probably why your parents 453 00:19:42,631 --> 00:19:44,400 are paying for all this, right, Evan? 454 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,034 BRIAN: Wait, hold on. Evan? 455 00:19:46,068 --> 00:19:47,270 Why am I gay in this? 456 00:19:47,303 --> 00:19:48,604 STEWIE: Ah, it's the end of the show. 457 00:19:48,637 --> 00:19:50,138 We sometimes do something silly here. 458 00:19:56,144 --> 00:19:58,681 So, now that you got me back as a friend, 459 00:19:58,714 --> 00:20:01,517 what are all the great things you have planned for us? 460 00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:04,453 Uh... we could... go see a movie. 461 00:20:04,487 --> 00:20:07,189 Oh, a movie. That's a great idea. 462 00:20:07,222 --> 00:20:08,691 You know what'll get me out of this funk? 463 00:20:08,724 --> 00:20:10,359 The Equalizer 2. 464 00:20:10,393 --> 00:20:12,295 (chuckling) Okay. All right, fine. 465 00:20:12,328 --> 00:20:13,462 I got-I got nothing. 466 00:20:13,496 --> 00:20:14,697 Exactly. 467 00:20:14,730 --> 00:20:16,064 And you were such a jealous little bitch 468 00:20:16,098 --> 00:20:18,767 that you had to ruin the one friendship I really cared about. 469 00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:20,936 You're just a big jerk and I hate you, 470 00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:23,038 and there's nothing you can do to make up for it. 471 00:20:23,071 --> 00:20:24,307 Fine. 472 00:20:24,340 --> 00:20:26,241 Maybe I'll just go out and get some ice cream. 473 00:20:26,275 --> 00:20:27,643 Ice cream? 474 00:20:27,676 --> 00:20:28,877 I like ice cream. 475 00:20:28,911 --> 00:20:30,112 Yeah, I don't know. 476 00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:31,814 I think it's more of a bigger kid thing. 477 00:20:31,847 --> 00:20:34,216 No, no, no! No. I've had ice cream, like, six times. 478 00:20:34,249 --> 00:20:35,851 All right, come on, let's go. 479 00:20:37,620 --> 00:20:39,755 You know, Brian, I'm starting to think 480 00:20:39,788 --> 00:20:42,725 we're going to get through our... Rocky Road. 481 00:20:42,758 --> 00:20:44,760 (both chuckle) 482 00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:47,896 (forced laugh) 483 00:20:47,930 --> 00:20:49,565 We had a lot of laughs tonight, 484 00:20:49,598 --> 00:20:51,434 but let's remember the important thing: 485 00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:53,569 you can't put a price on your happiness, 486 00:20:53,602 --> 00:20:56,104 which is why I have: it's $6,000. 487 00:20:56,138 --> 00:20:59,041 See you in Fort Myers, probably.