1 00:00:01,017 --> 00:00:04,721 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:07,991 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:08,024 --> 00:00:11,595 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,628 --> 00:00:14,598 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,631 --> 00:00:18,102 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,135 --> 00:00:21,571 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,107 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:25,008 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:25,041 --> 00:00:30,114 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:38,222 --> 00:00:40,090 (barking) 11 00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:41,925 -Whoa, whoa, easy, boy, easy. -(growling) 12 00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:44,528 I-It's just Stewie in a kitty costume. 13 00:00:44,561 --> 00:00:47,097 I'm a calico, and my name is Humphrey. 14 00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:49,199 He got his face painted at a birthday party. 15 00:00:49,233 --> 00:00:51,368 It was the only thing this little guy could do. 16 00:00:51,401 --> 00:00:53,203 He was too light for the caterpillar slide, 17 00:00:53,237 --> 00:00:54,738 too short for the piñata, 18 00:00:54,771 --> 00:00:57,207 and too scared to touch the animals in the petting zoo. 19 00:00:57,241 --> 00:00:59,409 -Half of them had erections. -Half of them had erections. 20 00:00:59,443 --> 00:01:00,744 The pony was magnificent. 21 00:01:00,777 --> 00:01:03,947 The pony was magnificent. 22 00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:05,982 -Oh, what do we have here? -Hey, back off! 23 00:01:06,015 --> 00:01:07,351 That's my goodie bag. 24 00:01:08,352 --> 00:01:09,986 Ugh. An eraser. 25 00:01:10,019 --> 00:01:12,789 Raisins in an unsealed sandwich bag. 26 00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:14,558 Oh, a parachute guy. 27 00:01:14,591 --> 00:01:16,993 Uhp, he's already tangled. 28 00:01:17,026 --> 00:01:18,828 This day started off so great. 29 00:01:18,862 --> 00:01:21,265 It was awash in cake and pony boners. 30 00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,433 Now all I have is this dumb whistle. 31 00:01:23,467 --> 00:01:24,501 -(exhales) -Doesn't even work. 32 00:01:25,369 --> 00:01:26,603 (exhales) 33 00:01:26,636 --> 00:01:28,172 Ow! What the hell?! 34 00:01:28,205 --> 00:01:29,839 Oh, it's a dog whistle. 35 00:01:29,873 --> 00:01:31,808 -(exhales) -(shouts) 36 00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:34,178 I've always wondered what that sounds like to you. 37 00:01:34,211 --> 00:01:35,745 (inhales) 38 00:01:35,779 --> 00:01:38,415 GILBERT GOTTFRIED: Dog whistle! Dog whistle! 39 00:01:38,448 --> 00:01:40,750 Where are you, dog?! 40 00:01:40,784 --> 00:01:41,951 -Give me that! -Hey. 41 00:01:41,985 --> 00:01:43,453 Oh, what, you want it? Here, take it. 42 00:01:43,487 --> 00:01:44,788 Give it back. 43 00:01:44,821 --> 00:01:47,023 -Give me it. -No. It's mine now. 44 00:01:47,056 --> 00:01:49,859 In fact, I'm gonna put it where you can never reach it. 45 00:01:49,893 --> 00:01:51,195 No! 46 00:01:51,228 --> 00:01:53,530 -Good luck, shrimp. -(grunting) 47 00:01:55,299 --> 00:01:57,601 I can't believe the nerve of that dog. 48 00:01:57,634 --> 00:01:59,603 Teaching me a lesson about size? 49 00:01:59,636 --> 00:02:02,005 I'm not even that small. 50 00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:03,773 Tiny Tom Cruise? 51 00:02:03,807 --> 00:02:06,210 Oh, hey, little guy. Forgot my sunglasses. 52 00:02:06,243 --> 00:02:08,612 Hey, what's with your gay character names lately? 53 00:02:08,645 --> 00:02:10,514 Stacee Jaxx? Jack Reacher? 54 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,182 I mean, who are you playing next? 55 00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:14,551 (chuckles): All right, try to make this sound gay: 56 00:02:14,584 --> 00:02:17,020 next up, I play Headmaster Bates Mann. 57 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,722 -Anything else? -Actually, yes. 58 00:02:18,755 --> 00:02:21,825 After that, I'll be taking the role of Major Dixon Butts, 59 00:02:21,858 --> 00:02:23,993 then Senator Rod Clutcher. 60 00:02:24,027 --> 00:02:27,030 (audience applause) 61 00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,065 (electricity crackling) 62 00:02:33,437 --> 00:02:35,739 I'm too small, am I, Brian? 63 00:02:35,772 --> 00:02:38,375 Well, we'll just see who's the bigger man. 64 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:42,178 "Brian, sorry I got testy. Let's bury the hatchet. 65 00:02:42,212 --> 00:02:44,481 "If you're free, I'd love to hear about 66 00:02:44,514 --> 00:02:46,716 -any new writing projects you're working..." -(knocking on door) 67 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,652 Oh, at least wait for me to send it. 68 00:02:48,685 --> 00:02:49,986 -(text message chirps) -(computer chimes) 69 00:02:50,019 --> 00:02:52,689 Hey, Stewie, I got your text. What am I working on? 70 00:02:52,722 --> 00:02:54,724 (chuckles): What am I not working on? 71 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:57,227 Well, first off, I got this screenplay for Tom Cruise, 72 00:02:57,261 --> 00:03:00,330 about the queen's private secretary, Sir Gaylord Hummer. 73 00:03:00,364 --> 00:03:01,831 Well, actually, he might do that. 74 00:03:01,865 --> 00:03:06,336 But, Brian, I'm more interested in short stories. 75 00:03:06,370 --> 00:03:07,804 (whirring) 76 00:03:15,044 --> 00:03:18,047 (shouts, voice pitch increases) 77 00:03:23,487 --> 00:03:26,022 (footsteps rumbling) 78 00:03:26,055 --> 00:03:28,725 (echoing): Well, hello there, little guy. 79 00:03:28,758 --> 00:03:30,394 (high-pitched): What the hell did you do to me, Stewie? 80 00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,596 Well, Brian, you seemed to enjoy belittling me, 81 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,464 so I decided to belittle you. 82 00:03:34,498 --> 00:03:36,533 I've simply shrunken down your molecular structure. 83 00:03:36,566 --> 00:03:38,101 It was easy, really. 84 00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:41,738 Like taking candy, or a whistle, from a baby. 85 00:03:41,771 --> 00:03:43,573 You dick. Undo this. 86 00:03:43,607 --> 00:03:45,074 This is perfect. 87 00:03:45,108 --> 00:03:46,876 I think my excitement is best expressed 88 00:03:46,910 --> 00:03:49,646 by Jean-Claude Van Damme in this scene. 89 00:03:49,679 --> 00:03:51,415 (dance music playing) 90 00:04:01,791 --> 00:04:03,960 All right, you've made your point. I'm sorry. 91 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,929 I'm sorry, I couldn't hear that; it's too high-pitched. 92 00:04:05,962 --> 00:04:07,464 -You're what? -I'm sorry. 93 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,299 -For what? -For calling you a shrimp. 94 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:10,934 -And? -What do you mean "and"? 95 00:04:10,967 --> 00:04:12,969 Come on, you know what I want. 96 00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:15,305 And... all four chairs 97 00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:17,807 would totally turn for you on The Voice. 98 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,809 -Anything else? -(sighs) 99 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:22,346 And the way you salute and point is very casual 100 00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:24,247 and free of affectation. 101 00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:26,850 Hey, thanks, Bri. I'll go switch you back. 102 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,854 (rapid footsteps) 103 00:04:35,124 --> 00:04:36,426 (sniffs) 104 00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:38,094 -(growls) -Stewie! 105 00:04:38,127 --> 00:04:39,596 You know, I'm really flattered you think 106 00:04:39,629 --> 00:04:41,798 all four Voice chairs would turn around. 107 00:04:41,831 --> 00:04:44,133 My dream order would be Adam, Blake, 108 00:04:44,167 --> 00:04:46,370 Alicia Keys, and then Kelly Clarkson, 109 00:04:46,403 --> 00:04:48,605 whose chair I imagine would turn last, 110 00:04:48,638 --> 00:04:52,342 'cause she's, uh... she's a bigger gal. 111 00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:53,910 Help! 112 00:04:54,978 --> 00:04:56,846 Oh, crap. 113 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,882 Don't worry, Brian, I'll save you! 114 00:04:58,915 --> 00:05:01,184 But I'm a millennial, so first I have to watch 115 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:03,820 a YouTube instructional video on how to do it. 116 00:05:03,853 --> 00:05:05,389 What's going on, guys? 117 00:05:05,422 --> 00:05:06,990 I'm Corey, and today I'm gonna teach you 118 00:05:07,023 --> 00:05:08,992 how to get your friend out of a rat hole. 119 00:05:09,025 --> 00:05:11,060 Now, before we get started, don't forget to subscribe 120 00:05:11,094 --> 00:05:12,796 to my channel, Corey's World. 121 00:05:12,829 --> 00:05:15,298 And, guys, I'll get to as many comments as I can, 122 00:05:15,331 --> 00:05:17,033 but I can't get to all of them. 123 00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,902 And don't forget to check out my other videos, 124 00:05:18,935 --> 00:05:20,504 like "How to Play Guitar." 125 00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,338 Uh, Brian, this might be a while. 126 00:05:22,372 --> 00:05:24,708 What's going on, guys? I'm Corey. 127 00:05:29,946 --> 00:05:32,916 Brian? Hang in there, buddy. 128 00:05:32,949 --> 00:05:35,318 BRIAN (high-pitched): Hurry up! Get this rat away from me! 129 00:05:35,351 --> 00:05:37,353 I'll shrink myself down and come get you. 130 00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:39,188 But in the meantime, they say 131 00:05:39,222 --> 00:05:41,858 if you put your finger in a rat's butt, that disables it. 132 00:05:41,891 --> 00:05:43,593 (rat screeches) 133 00:05:43,627 --> 00:05:45,595 BRIAN: It didn't work. Now he's just angry. 134 00:05:45,629 --> 00:05:47,564 Try wetting your finger first. 135 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,700 -(rat screeches) -BRIAN: Just get in here! 136 00:05:53,403 --> 00:05:54,604 (whirring) 137 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,344 (rat growling) 138 00:06:01,377 --> 00:06:04,147 Hey, come on, guy. (chuckles) Hey, you don't want to do this. 139 00:06:12,656 --> 00:06:14,958 I'll have what she's having. 140 00:06:14,991 --> 00:06:16,426 (squishes) 141 00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:19,729 Please tell me that's not the finger 142 00:06:19,763 --> 00:06:21,230 you stuck in a rat's butt. 143 00:06:21,264 --> 00:06:23,967 No. It... I don't-I don't remember which one it was. 144 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,802 Yeah, that was the finger. 145 00:06:25,835 --> 00:06:28,938 All right, let's get back to the machine. 146 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,940 Look at all this shag carpet. 147 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,942 This is like our Vietnam movie. 148 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,044 (Southern accent): I miss Jenny. 149 00:06:35,078 --> 00:06:38,147 -What is that? -That's Forrest. Forrest Gump. 150 00:06:38,181 --> 00:06:40,484 -Yeah, I-I don't think so. -Shh. 151 00:06:40,517 --> 00:06:42,952 -(distant mechanical humming) -What is that? 152 00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:45,822 It ain't a box of chocolates. 153 00:06:45,855 --> 00:06:47,491 (whirring) 154 00:06:47,524 --> 00:06:49,526 (normal voice): Vacuum cleaner! 155 00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:55,164 (both screaming) 156 00:06:55,198 --> 00:06:59,969 I hate my life and nobody can hear me say it right now! 157 00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:10,179 (both screaming) 158 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,819 (whirring stops) 159 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,354 Oh, my God, this is disgusting! 160 00:07:18,387 --> 00:07:20,123 I just hope she's done vacuuming. 161 00:07:20,156 --> 00:07:21,791 -(vacuum squeaking) -LOIS: Okay, everyone, 162 00:07:21,825 --> 00:07:24,293 dump your toenails in the hall; I'm vacuuming. 163 00:07:24,327 --> 00:07:26,395 -(vacuum whirring) -Oh, God. 164 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,038 That was close. 165 00:07:40,476 --> 00:07:41,978 (both screaming) 166 00:07:48,918 --> 00:07:51,220 Oh, my God, we're in the trash outside! 167 00:07:51,254 --> 00:07:54,423 We've got to get down from here. Quick, pass me that baggie. 168 00:08:00,029 --> 00:08:02,365 How am I supposed to get down? That was the only baggie. 169 00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:03,900 Use either the tampon strings 170 00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:06,770 or the discarded dental floss and rappel down. 171 00:08:09,038 --> 00:08:10,874 -(bones crack) -Which one did you go with? 172 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,509 Neither. I was hoping to kill myself. 173 00:08:13,543 --> 00:08:16,212 (whistling) 174 00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:19,148 Two days of mail at once, nobody knows. 175 00:08:19,182 --> 00:08:21,551 Don't go over two. Don't get greedy. 176 00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:22,886 (snorts) 177 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,088 Uhp, got a bat in the cave. 178 00:08:25,121 --> 00:08:27,090 All right, I figure if we can just-- 179 00:08:27,123 --> 00:08:28,925 What's going on? An eclipse? 180 00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:31,427 -Ah! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! -Holy crap! What is that?! 181 00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:33,396 -Gross! Oh! -What is on us? Oh! 182 00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,533 Ah! Snot rocket! 183 00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:39,769 Oh, my God, it's so disgusting! 184 00:08:39,803 --> 00:08:41,771 Get it off! Get it off! 185 00:08:41,805 --> 00:08:44,440 -Are you guys eating that? -Uh, what? 186 00:08:44,473 --> 00:08:47,443 Are you eating this pile of boogers? 187 00:08:47,476 --> 00:08:50,413 -Uh, no. -Can I eat it? 188 00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:52,949 Yeah, please. We're stuck. 189 00:08:52,982 --> 00:08:56,285 Dude, dude, you got to get down here, by the big trash can. 190 00:08:56,319 --> 00:08:58,287 Dude, dude, dude, just get here. 191 00:08:58,321 --> 00:09:01,424 (bee buzzing) 192 00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:02,892 Brian, we've got to get up to my room. 193 00:09:02,926 --> 00:09:04,460 Yeah, but how? 194 00:09:04,493 --> 00:09:06,963 We'll just climb the lattice on the front of the house. 195 00:09:08,564 --> 00:09:11,267 -When did we get that? -Well, every '80s movie had one, 196 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,803 so the fat man thought we should have one, too. 197 00:09:13,837 --> 00:09:17,206 Wow. Okay, great. 198 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,142 You know, it's funny, you said "every '80s movie," 199 00:09:19,175 --> 00:09:20,977 but I can't think of a single one. 200 00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:23,112 -Ferris Bueller's Day Off? -I don't think so. 201 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,481 But the lattice thing sounded right when you said it. 202 00:09:25,514 --> 00:09:28,084 I-I feel like '80s movies were wall-to-wall lattices. 203 00:09:28,117 --> 00:09:30,987 -Sixteen Candles? -Hmm... no, no. 204 00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:33,089 I mean, she was being ignored most of the movie. 205 00:09:33,122 --> 00:09:34,758 Who'd be climbing into her window? 206 00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:36,559 Ah, good point. Risky Business? 207 00:09:36,592 --> 00:09:37,994 No. Hookers don't climb. 208 00:09:38,027 --> 00:09:39,328 Oh, I know, Home Alone. 209 00:09:39,362 --> 00:09:40,997 Home Alone must've had a lattice. 210 00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:43,132 Maybe, but that was 1990. 211 00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,068 Eh, it feels like an '80s movie. 212 00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:47,103 You know, it was probably greenlit in the '80s, 213 00:09:47,136 --> 00:09:48,772 when lattices were still a thing. 214 00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:50,306 Oh, wow, here we are. 215 00:09:55,779 --> 00:09:58,648 All right, Brian, at this size, this is a two-man job. 216 00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:00,784 While I adjust the settings, you go over there 217 00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:03,552 and hit the tiny button to fire it up. 218 00:10:07,724 --> 00:10:08,892 (whirring) 219 00:10:17,734 --> 00:10:19,202 Wait a minute. 220 00:10:19,235 --> 00:10:21,537 This doesn't feel right. What button did you hit? 221 00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:23,572 That one. The tiny button. 222 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,475 STEWIE: Wait, did you hit the tiny button 223 00:10:26,509 --> 00:10:28,144 or the button that says "tiny"? 224 00:10:28,177 --> 00:10:29,545 I hit the button that says "tiny." 225 00:10:29,578 --> 00:10:31,314 -You said, "Hit the tiny button." -Exactly! 226 00:10:31,347 --> 00:10:33,883 I didn't say, "Hit the big button that says 'tiny,'" 227 00:10:33,917 --> 00:10:35,151 I said, "hit the tiny button." 228 00:10:35,184 --> 00:10:36,986 The one you pressed is going to shrink us down 229 00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:38,354 to microscopic size! 230 00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,289 Well, why would you make the tiny button big? 231 00:10:40,323 --> 00:10:43,092 I had to make it big enough to write "tiny" on it! 232 00:10:45,929 --> 00:10:48,231 BRIAN: Well, what the hell do we do now?! 233 00:10:48,264 --> 00:10:49,565 STEWIE: I don't... 234 00:10:49,598 --> 00:10:51,367 I-I'm still thinking about that lattice thing. 235 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,002 I want to say Parenthood? 236 00:10:53,036 --> 00:10:56,239 BRIAN: Parenthood. Yes. I feel like Parenthood is right. 237 00:11:09,953 --> 00:11:11,955 (creatures chirping) 238 00:11:17,526 --> 00:11:19,095 It's beautiful. 239 00:11:19,128 --> 00:11:21,765 Ah, I just wish my hot girlfriend were here to see it. 240 00:11:21,798 --> 00:11:23,432 Oh, yeah? Yeah, you have a girlfriend? 241 00:11:23,466 --> 00:11:27,536 -What's her name? -Girly... Friendston. 242 00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:30,273 "Girly Friendston"? Nice try, Stewie. 243 00:11:30,306 --> 00:11:32,275 Why won't he answer my texts? 244 00:11:32,308 --> 00:11:34,277 WOMAN: Girly, your piano teacher's here. 245 00:11:34,310 --> 00:11:36,946 -Oh, Mom, do I have to? -Girly Friendston, 246 00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:39,215 you stop mooning over that boyfriend of yours 247 00:11:39,248 --> 00:11:42,151 -and get down here this instant. -(sighs) 248 00:11:47,556 --> 00:11:50,459 (knock on door) 249 00:11:50,493 --> 00:11:52,295 Hi. I'm the exterminator. 250 00:11:52,328 --> 00:11:55,431 An ex-Terminator? So you used to be a Terminator? 251 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:58,401 -No. I kill rats and bugs. -And Sarah Connor. 252 00:11:58,434 --> 00:12:01,537 -No, Peter. We have a rat. -My stuff's in my truck. 253 00:12:01,570 --> 00:12:03,639 -I'll be back. -(gasps) 254 00:12:03,672 --> 00:12:05,108 See that, Lois? 255 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,976 There's more Terminators around than you think there are. 256 00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:09,012 (beeping) 257 00:12:16,019 --> 00:12:17,987 I hope he can terminate 258 00:12:18,021 --> 00:12:21,057 some of the bad attitudes on our kids, huh? 259 00:12:21,090 --> 00:12:23,192 (laughs weakly) Yeah. 260 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:31,167 -(rumbling) -What's that sound? 261 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,836 Oh, my God! Look! 262 00:12:32,869 --> 00:12:35,304 (creatures screeching) 263 00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,948 (roaring) 264 00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:47,516 (screeches) 265 00:12:47,550 --> 00:12:49,752 Holy crap, what the hell were those things?! 266 00:12:49,785 --> 00:12:51,087 Dust mites. 267 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,689 One of the most dominant species of the micro world. 268 00:12:53,722 --> 00:12:55,191 Why did they just attack like that? 269 00:12:55,224 --> 00:12:56,525 MALE VOICE: Because they're jerks. 270 00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:59,362 Aah! Who the hell are you? 271 00:12:59,395 --> 00:13:01,364 Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you, little buddies. 272 00:13:01,397 --> 00:13:03,299 My name's Vernon. I'm a water bear. 273 00:13:03,332 --> 00:13:05,634 A water bear? What's a water bear? 274 00:13:05,668 --> 00:13:07,636 They're predominantly water-dwelling, eight-legged 275 00:13:07,670 --> 00:13:09,438 segmented micro animals. 276 00:13:09,472 --> 00:13:12,508 They're also known as a moss piglet or a tardigrade. 277 00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:15,211 You can call me tardy, but I'm always on time. 278 00:13:15,244 --> 00:13:17,213 Ha-ha. Yeah. 279 00:13:17,246 --> 00:13:19,248 ♪ 280 00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:29,692 Well, here she is. Home sweet home. 281 00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:31,727 Everybody, we've got guests! 282 00:13:35,431 --> 00:13:38,167 You'll see that we have quite the diverse cast of characters. 283 00:13:38,201 --> 00:13:40,236 (Southern accent): I'm the country water bear. 284 00:13:40,269 --> 00:13:43,239 "Yee-haw" is what I say. 285 00:13:43,272 --> 00:13:45,341 Flagellum? I don't even know them. 286 00:13:45,374 --> 00:13:46,809 I'm the black one. 287 00:13:46,842 --> 00:13:50,479 And I'm Patrick Stewart as a water bear. 288 00:13:50,513 --> 00:13:52,715 I can't believe there's this whole universe 289 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:55,551 hidden here in your rug... where everyone speaks English. 290 00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:57,053 Okay, Brian, take the ride. 291 00:13:57,086 --> 00:14:00,489 Here, have a sip of water. 292 00:14:00,523 --> 00:14:01,891 (all gasp) 293 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:04,660 What the...? Hey, cut it out! 294 00:14:04,693 --> 00:14:06,896 You have water? Water is life. 295 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,697 Yeah, we need water bad. 296 00:14:08,731 --> 00:14:12,335 And I'm the gay one, but I'm not, like, doing the gay voice. 297 00:14:12,368 --> 00:14:14,403 Listen, Stewie and I come from a place 298 00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:17,040 where water flows like... well, water. 299 00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:18,908 That's right. And we need to get back there. 300 00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,576 And if you guys help us, 301 00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:23,579 we'll make sure you never want for water again. 302 00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:24,914 What do you say? 303 00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:26,749 -(cheering) -All right! -Yee-haw! 304 00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:28,284 Patrick Stewart! 305 00:14:32,321 --> 00:14:34,790 -Well, what'd you find? -I'll be honest. 306 00:14:34,823 --> 00:14:38,027 I think this is a conversation best had over dinner. 307 00:14:38,061 --> 00:14:40,964 Oh. Okay. 308 00:14:40,997 --> 00:14:42,531 So what's going on with the house? 309 00:14:42,565 --> 00:14:44,600 I don't like talking business at the table. 310 00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:48,104 -Let's just enjoy our wine. -You're right. I'm sorry. 311 00:14:49,738 --> 00:14:51,274 (quietly): Your wife's asleep. 312 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,109 Sometimes she fakes it so I can't hump her, 313 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,978 but this seems legit. 314 00:14:55,011 --> 00:14:58,081 So, uh, shouldn't we talk about what you found at our house? 315 00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:01,584 I don't know. It's so late. I have a crazy idea. 316 00:15:01,617 --> 00:15:03,619 Should we talk about it over a nightcap? 317 00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,588 Uh, sure, I guess. 318 00:15:07,590 --> 00:15:09,625 I'm a little chilly. 319 00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:12,528 Oh, well, I-I guess I don't need this. 320 00:15:14,964 --> 00:15:18,667 Sir? Sir, I asked you what you found out about the house. 321 00:15:18,701 --> 00:15:21,637 What? Oh. You're gonna have to tent the house. 322 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:24,340 All right. Thanks for your work. You're very professional. 323 00:15:24,373 --> 00:15:26,675 Yeah, that's me. Professional. 324 00:15:26,709 --> 00:15:28,544 Always professional. 325 00:15:29,612 --> 00:15:31,814 And alone. 326 00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,849 (Ladysmith Black Mambazo style song playing) 327 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:41,190 ♪ 328 00:15:50,066 --> 00:15:52,135 What the hell is this giant wall? 329 00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,603 We're here, Brian. That's your laptop. 330 00:15:54,637 --> 00:15:57,373 If we get inside, I can remotely hack into the shrink ray. 331 00:15:57,406 --> 00:15:58,741 (rumbling) 332 00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:05,048 Oh, my God! It's the dust mites! 333 00:16:05,081 --> 00:16:07,383 (screeching) 334 00:16:07,416 --> 00:16:10,719 Oh, no! Water Bear Consuela, can you stop them? 335 00:16:10,753 --> 00:16:13,822 No, no. I only clean Wednesday. 336 00:16:13,856 --> 00:16:17,726 -Can't you just clean today? -No, no. Wednesday. 337 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,762 (dust mites screeching) 338 00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:24,500 Here's the micro board. 339 00:16:24,533 --> 00:16:27,603 I just need to reroute the circuits. 340 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:35,311 All right. The laptop is now linked to the shrink ray. 341 00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:37,846 The only problem is that I can't activate it from here. 342 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,482 We still somehow have to press 343 00:16:39,515 --> 00:16:41,250 the return button on the keyboard. 344 00:16:41,284 --> 00:16:43,919 But at this size, there's no way I can do it alone. 345 00:16:43,952 --> 00:16:46,255 Wait. I've got an idea. 346 00:16:46,289 --> 00:16:48,924 Well, you better act quickly. 347 00:16:51,627 --> 00:16:54,130 Guys! Follow me up this way! 348 00:16:58,067 --> 00:17:01,036 Why is there a tiny lattice inside this computer? 349 00:17:01,070 --> 00:17:04,273 I guess Steve Jobs was really into '80s movies. 350 00:17:10,646 --> 00:17:12,315 (dust mites screeching) 351 00:17:15,551 --> 00:17:17,120 Brian, wait for my signal. 352 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:19,255 Hold. 353 00:17:20,323 --> 00:17:21,990 -Hold. -(hisses) 354 00:17:23,892 --> 00:17:24,960 Hold. 355 00:17:29,232 --> 00:17:31,700 -Now! -You-you never told me what to do. 356 00:17:31,734 --> 00:17:32,768 -Jump! -Why? 357 00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:33,769 Trust me. 358 00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:35,771 Aah! 359 00:17:38,507 --> 00:17:40,409 (all screaming) 360 00:17:40,443 --> 00:17:42,311 (button clicks) 361 00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:54,923 My God! It worked! 362 00:17:54,957 --> 00:17:56,392 Stewie, you're a genius! 363 00:17:56,425 --> 00:18:00,028 -(screeching) -Oh, no. 364 00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:04,300 Run! 365 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,502 Okay. All the gas bombs are set up. 366 00:18:06,535 --> 00:18:09,172 Time to blow all those vermin to kingdom come. 367 00:18:09,205 --> 00:18:10,639 Can I press the button? 368 00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:14,610 Hmm, perhaps that's a question best pondered over dinner? 369 00:18:14,643 --> 00:18:16,879 You-you can just press it. Go ahead. 370 00:18:19,615 --> 00:18:21,350 (beeps) 371 00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:26,489 Aah! Poison gas! 372 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,591 They must've gotten an exterminator for the rat! 373 00:18:28,624 --> 00:18:30,726 (roaring) 374 00:18:47,142 --> 00:18:49,545 Tiny Tom Cruise? 375 00:19:04,527 --> 00:19:06,061 (both grunt) 376 00:19:06,094 --> 00:19:08,397 (both coughing) 377 00:19:08,431 --> 00:19:11,967 Thank you, Tiny Tom Cruise. How can we ever repay you? 378 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,736 Well, you could make a sizable donation 379 00:19:13,769 --> 00:19:15,238 to the Church of Spaceship Beep Boop. 380 00:19:15,271 --> 00:19:16,672 You mean the Church of... 381 00:19:16,705 --> 00:19:18,374 Yeah, kidnapping, torture, extortion, that's the one. 382 00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:19,908 And we won't get in trouble 383 00:19:19,942 --> 00:19:22,077 because we didn't use the actual name. 384 00:19:22,110 --> 00:19:23,579 MAN: What did he just say? 385 00:19:23,612 --> 00:19:27,049 We are about love and spaceships and beep boop! 386 00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:29,318 Get my lawyer on the phone! 387 00:19:29,352 --> 00:19:32,054 -You have children in there?! -Oh, yeah, three. 388 00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:33,956 Should-should we have mentioned that? 389 00:19:37,793 --> 00:19:41,764 MAN: Meg, Chris, come to the light. 390 00:19:41,797 --> 00:19:43,932 Meg, no. Don't do it. 391 00:19:43,966 --> 00:19:45,601 Don't go to Prince! 392 00:19:45,634 --> 00:19:47,736 Come to the purple light, Meg. 393 00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,605 Come taste infinity. 394 00:19:49,638 --> 00:19:51,540 Don't listen to him, Meg. 395 00:19:51,574 --> 00:19:55,511 But he's so talented and he's got so many drugs. 396 00:19:55,544 --> 00:19:57,546 Alan Thicke is here, too. 397 00:19:57,580 --> 00:20:00,182 Hey, guys. Come on in. It's a hoot. 398 00:20:00,215 --> 00:20:02,851 I'm coming, Alan Thicke. 399 00:20:02,885 --> 00:20:04,186 No! 400 00:20:04,219 --> 00:20:07,089 Google my Crystal Light aerobics competition. 401 00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:09,124 It's ridiculous. 402 00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:17,866 I hope Vernon and the gang survived. 403 00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:19,468 That gas was pretty powerful. 404 00:20:19,502 --> 00:20:21,837 Well, let's take a look. 405 00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:31,079 They're okay. Let's deliver on our promise. 406 00:20:31,113 --> 00:20:33,616 A little water for our little friends. 407 00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:43,058 -Oh, hell no! -Sweet country music! 408 00:20:43,091 --> 00:20:45,728 Oh, my gay God. 409 00:20:45,761 --> 00:20:48,163 (screaming) 410 00:20:48,196 --> 00:20:51,400 Ah, they're dead. Now I'm sad. 411 00:20:51,434 --> 00:20:53,902 Cheer me up, Jean-Claude Van Damme. 412 00:20:53,936 --> 00:20:55,838 ♪ I haven't gone ♪ 413 00:20:55,871 --> 00:20:58,006 ♪ Feeling ♪ 414 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,742 ♪ So good today ♪ 415 00:20:59,775 --> 00:21:01,377 ♪ Ain't nobody... ♪