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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪

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♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪

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♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪

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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪

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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪

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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪

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♪ All the things that make us ♪

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♪ Laugh and cry ♪

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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪

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ANNOUNCER:Family Guy is filmed
before a live studio audience.

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[cheers and applause]

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STUDIO AUDIENCE MEMBER:
That's Carol,

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Lois' sister who was married
to Mayor West,

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-but now he's dead.
-MAN: [whoops]
I love you, Carol!

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We're glad you could come over
for dinner tonight, Carol.

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Thank you for having me.

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I've been having such a hard
time since Adam passed away.

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-STUDIO AUDIENCE: Aw...
-MAN: [whoops]

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I want to squeeze your butt
and then take your pants down

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and look at your butt!

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We still can't believe
he's gone.

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He was such a great mayor,
and a great uncle to the kids.

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Wait, Uncle Adam is dead?

24
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Yeesh. How many people
has this show killed?

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-Yeah, we're all gonna miss...-MAN: Hey, don't touch me, man!

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I'm leaving. I know-I know
what I did. I'm leaving.

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[scattered applause]

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Yeah, we're all gonna miss
Mayor West.

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You know what'll make you
feel better, Aunt Carol?

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Doing an Indian guy.

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Meg, stop eating with
the serving spoon.

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Nah.

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I just wish there was
some way we could honor

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Adam's memory here in town.

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You know what we should do?

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We should rename the high school
for Mayor West.

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What, you mean change it
from James Woods High?

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Yeah. James Woods
is an embarrassment to Quahog.

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He's a political troll
and a maniac on Twitter.

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I think that's a great idea,
Brian.

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You should meet
with Principal Shepherd

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and suggest it.

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Awesome. And while you do that,

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I'll make a special video
dedication reminding people

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of how great Mayor West was.

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[intro to "Right Here
Waiting for You" plays]

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♪ Oceans apart ♪

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♪ Day after day ♪

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♪ And I slowly go insane ♪

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♪ I hear your voice ♪

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♪ On the line ♪

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♪ But it doesn't stop ♪

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♪ The pain ♪

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♪ If I see you ♪

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♪ Next to never ♪

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♪ How can we ♪

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♪ Say forever ♪

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♪ Wherever you go ♪

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♪ Whatever you do ♪

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♪ I will be ♪

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♪ Right here waiting
for you... ♪

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[crowd cheering
over speakerphone]

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So, you'd like
to rename the school?

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Yes. To Adam West High.

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Well, you're a talking dog-- youprobably know what you're doing.

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Let's do it.

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-[crowd gasps over speakerphone]
-Damn it!

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The only thing
that's left to do now

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is for you to pay the normal
$1,000 principal meeting fee.

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What?! Wait a minute.

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Do you have a gambling problem?

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Me? I don't have
a gambling problem.

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Points! Just score points!

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-I don't care who.
-[knocking]

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Principal Shepherd,
someone named Eddie Payups

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is here to see you.

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Tell him I need one minute.

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Anyway, great idea.
We'll have a ceremony

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to change the name
of the school this week.

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What's the score
of that game right now?

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It's, uh, 85-75.

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Ugh! Not enough.

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Wow, we did it.

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We changed the name
of the school.

85
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Well, you know, it was
the right thing to do, Brian.

86
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Like when I had to give bad newsto that improv team.

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I called you here to tell you
that you're all 45 years old.

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Go home
and be with your children.

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Thank you, everybody,
for coming today

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as we honor one
of Quahog's finest citizens,

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Mayor Adam West.

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We will start today's ceremony

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with the traditional
21-cat launcher salute

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to honor our wacky
but beloved mayor.

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Ready! Aim!

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Meow!

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[cats yowl]

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Beautiful.
Now, to unveil our new sign,

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we've invited HGTV's
Chip and Joanna Gaines,

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who are here to prove that theirshow didn't ruin their marriage.

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BOTH:All right, Quahog, are you readyto see your new sign?

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-MAN: Yeah!
-[whooping]

103
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[wheels squeaking]

104
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Oh, a-are we going that way?

105
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I don't know, Joanna.
What direction arewe going?

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♪

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[cheering, whistling]

108
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Uh-oh.

109
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Thank you.
Uh, please, uh, stick around

110
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for refreshments and snacks
in the gymnasium.

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[crowd gasps]

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Go, go, Principal Coffee Breath!

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SHEPHERD:
Looking for someone?

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[heroic orchestral music plays]

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I like this episode.

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♪

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-Brian, wait.
-Oh, hey, Carol.

118
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Do you need me
to walk you to your car

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in case the studio audience guyshows up?

120
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No, he killed himself
in my downstairs shower.

121
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Oh, good. That's good.

122
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I just wanted to thank youfor what you did today for Adam.

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He was a great man.

124
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You know,
I see a lot of him in you.

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Oh, no.
Are we gonna kiss?

126
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-We're gonna kiss, aren't we?
-I came here to say

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that what you did was
very honorable.

128
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It showed real leadership,

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and I think youshould be
the next mayor of Quahog.

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Ah, damn it!

131
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Oh, I couldn't do that.

132
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I don't know anything
about politics.

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Although crazier things
have happened.

134
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Harry Truman didn't have
any experience.

135
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Of course he did.
He was vice president,

136
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and before that,
a United States senator.

137
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Oh, word?

138
00:05:37,161 --> 00:05:39,685
Brian, is this gonna be
a politics episode?

139
00:05:39,729 --> 00:05:41,687
I-I think it might be.

140
00:05:41,731 --> 00:05:44,429
[sighs deeply]

141
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No one likes those.

142
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So, Carol was just going on andon about how I should be mayor.

143
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And it's got me thinking,
it isan interesting idea.

144
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-You think I should do it?
-Absolutely not.

145
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-I mean, if not me, who?
-Anyone.

146
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-If not now, when?
-Never.

147
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-You know, why notme?
-A million reasons.

148
00:06:09,759 --> 00:06:12,544
I mean, who do you want in
there, some career politician?

149
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-Yes.
-What are theygonna do?

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00:06:13,893 --> 00:06:16,156
-Govern.
-Thanks, Stewie.
Your support means a lot.

151
00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,681
-You don't have it.-You know what? I'm gonna do it.

152
00:06:18,724 --> 00:06:20,683
Guys, I have an announcement.

153
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-I'm gonna run for mayor.
-That's a terrible idea.

154
00:06:24,121 --> 00:06:26,515
You idiot, Brian.
Meg, fart on Brian.

155
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I can't.I don't have one in the chamber.

156
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The one time I give you
a chance, you're not ready.

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Chris, tag in for Meg.

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[farts]

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[gasping breaths]

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See that kid?
He's a gamer.

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Great job, Chris.
Now, go hit the showers.

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Meg, you miss 100%
of the farts you don't take.

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That kid's going places.
He's going all the way.

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If only they knew.

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[farting]

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PETER:
That's my boy!

167
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Welcome back, Quahog.
And now it's time

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00:07:10,602 --> 00:07:13,562
for a new segment on our show
called "On the Same Sofa,"

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in which a guest and I
have a conversation

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while sitting on the same sofa.

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My guest tonight is mayoral
candidate Brian Griffin.

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00:07:20,612 --> 00:07:23,006
-Thank you for coming, Brian.
-Pleasure, Tom.

173
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And thank you for allowing me
up on the furniture.

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-I don't always get to do that.-Oh, word?

175
00:07:27,837 --> 00:07:30,013
Now, I understand
you're running unopposed.

176
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That gives you a bit
of an advantage, doesn't it?

177
00:07:32,711 --> 00:07:34,670
Well, Tom,
I welcome a challenger.

178
00:07:34,713 --> 00:07:37,455
Not the one that exploded,
but, um...

179
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That's probably gonna get me
in trouble right there.

180
00:07:40,023 --> 00:07:41,981
Good thing
I'm running unopposed.

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Well, we've now reached
the middle of the interview,

182
00:07:44,288 --> 00:07:46,812
where I ask the guest,
"How's the sofa so far?"

183
00:07:46,856 --> 00:07:48,684
So, Brian,
how's the sofa so far?

184
00:07:48,727 --> 00:07:50,120
So far, so-so.

185
00:07:50,163 --> 00:07:51,425
I see. Sophie?

186
00:07:51,469 --> 00:07:53,253
So far we've got a so-so sofa.

187
00:07:53,297 --> 00:07:55,560
SOPHIE:
Great. Okay, Tom,
we go live in three,

188
00:07:55,604 --> 00:07:57,606
-two...
-What? None of that aired?

189
00:07:57,649 --> 00:07:59,608
It's all right,
we can recreate it.

190
00:07:59,651 --> 00:08:01,174
SOPHIE:
And you're on.

191
00:08:01,218 --> 00:08:03,612
So, Brian, I understand
you like eating your own poop.

192
00:08:03,655 --> 00:08:05,483
What's thatabout?

193
00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:06,702
Yech. Turn that off.

194
00:08:06,745 --> 00:08:08,747
I can't believe we're
gonna have a dog for mayor.

195
00:08:08,791 --> 00:08:10,967
We're gonna be the laughingstockof the whole country.

196
00:08:11,010 --> 00:08:12,795
Even Sean Hannity's
talking about us.

197
00:08:12,838 --> 00:08:14,492
He's a weird-looking guy.

198
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,973
-Put up a picture
of Sean Hannity.
-Can we do that?

199
00:08:17,016 --> 00:08:19,497
Yeah, Tosh does it
all the time. Put it up.

200
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:20,629
JOE:
Yeah, he does look weird.

201
00:08:20,672 --> 00:08:22,413
QUAGMIRE:
Yeah. Who does he look like?

202
00:08:22,456 --> 00:08:24,197
CLEVELAND:
I'm seeing Mr. Doubtfire.

203
00:08:24,241 --> 00:08:25,808
PETER:
High-sodium Superman?

204
00:08:25,851 --> 00:08:28,288
JOE:
He looks like an angry face
drawn on a thumb.

205
00:08:28,332 --> 00:08:29,768
QUAGMIRE:
The richest guy at Rite Aid?

206
00:08:29,812 --> 00:08:31,814
CLEVELAND:
Or the mayor who won't close

207
00:08:31,857 --> 00:08:33,076
the beaches in Jaws.

208
00:08:33,119 --> 00:08:34,773
JOE:
Wreck-It Ralph
at a job interview.

209
00:08:34,817 --> 00:08:36,383
QUAGMIRE:
You know that's a guy

210
00:08:36,427 --> 00:08:38,603
who's roughly led his wife
out of parties by the elbow.

211
00:08:38,647 --> 00:08:41,084
PETER:
A guy whose ice cream parlor
just went broke.

212
00:08:41,127 --> 00:08:42,738
CLEVELAND:He looks like a handsome Weeble.

213
00:08:42,781 --> 00:08:44,653
JOE:
Or a hot Frankenstein.

214
00:08:44,696 --> 00:08:46,698
QUAGMIRE:
Yeah, but either way,
he's that Little League coach

215
00:08:46,742 --> 00:08:48,482
the parents hope
their kids don't get.

216
00:08:48,526 --> 00:08:51,268
PETER:
He looks like a fish that
inflates to scare predators.

217
00:08:51,311 --> 00:08:53,270
JOE:
The inside trader
who kills himself

218
00:08:53,313 --> 00:08:55,707
the day his prison sentence
is supposed to start.

219
00:08:55,751 --> 00:08:57,840
CLEVELAND:
I'm thinking
Fred and Barney's son.

220
00:08:57,883 --> 00:09:00,016
QUAGMIRE:
Trust me on this.
Strip club lunch regular.

221
00:09:00,059 --> 00:09:01,757
JOE:
I feel like that's a dad

222
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,628
who's ripped his kid's posters
off the wall.

223
00:09:03,672 --> 00:09:05,891
CLEVELAND:
And sleeps in pajamas
buttoned to the top.

224
00:09:05,935 --> 00:09:08,459
JOE:72-ounce steak contest entrant.

225
00:09:08,502 --> 00:09:11,418
PETER:
Drowned-in-the-lake-
last-month Colin Farrell.

226
00:09:11,462 --> 00:09:12,681
All right, that was fun.

227
00:09:12,724 --> 00:09:14,683
Hey, let's do Matthew Perry.
I'll start.

228
00:09:14,726 --> 00:09:16,206
He looks like a pelican

229
00:09:16,249 --> 00:09:18,208
trying to swallow
a fish that's too big.

230
00:09:18,251 --> 00:09:20,210
JOE:
Barn owl in human skin.

231
00:09:20,253 --> 00:09:22,212
CLEVELAND:
He looks like he told a genie

232
00:09:22,255 --> 00:09:24,867
-he wished to be a pool noodle.-QUAGMIRE: Hey, guys?

233
00:09:24,910 --> 00:09:28,697
Friendsbrings me a lot of joy,
so can we stop this?

234
00:09:39,359 --> 00:09:40,709
♪ Hail to the dog

235
00:09:40,752 --> 00:09:43,363
♪ Every tree in town
is mine now ♪

236
00:09:43,407 --> 00:09:45,148
♪ Open the window

237
00:09:45,191 --> 00:09:46,932
♪ I'm gonna bite the air.

238
00:09:46,976 --> 00:09:48,717
[chomping]

239
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:49,761
[gasps]

240
00:09:52,764 --> 00:09:55,767
[Ennio Morricone's
"Navajo Joe" playing]

241
00:10:03,340 --> 00:10:04,733
What's this?

242
00:10:04,776 --> 00:10:07,561
Well, looks like stolen propertyand vandalism, for starters.

243
00:10:07,605 --> 00:10:10,042
Uh, can you hang on?I'm finishing a phone interview.

244
00:10:10,086 --> 00:10:11,827
And that's why
I would never joke

245
00:10:11,870 --> 00:10:13,655
about the Space Shuttle
Challengertragedy.

246
00:10:14,220 --> 00:10:15,874
I can't believe
I said that twice.

247
00:10:15,918 --> 00:10:17,571
Now, how can I help you, Brian?

248
00:10:17,615 --> 00:10:19,748
Why are you doing this?
Why are you running for mayor?

249
00:10:19,791 --> 00:10:22,272
Uh, let me think.
Oh, yeah. Out of spite.

250
00:10:22,315 --> 00:10:24,970
-Spite for you.
-That's not a reason
to get into politics.

251
00:10:25,014 --> 00:10:27,494
It's the only reason
to get into politics.

252
00:10:27,538 --> 00:10:28,800
Well, you're
just wasting your time,

253
00:10:28,844 --> 00:10:29,975
because you're not gonna win.

254
00:10:30,019 --> 00:10:30,889
I don't know about that.

255
00:10:30,933 --> 00:10:32,369
You seem pretty afraid.

256
00:10:32,412 --> 00:10:33,979
[scoffs]
The only thing I'm afraid of

257
00:10:34,023 --> 00:10:36,852
are fire truck sirensand things that look like faces.

258
00:10:36,895 --> 00:10:38,375
Fine. See you at the debate.

259
00:10:38,418 --> 00:10:39,724
Fine!

260
00:10:39,768 --> 00:10:41,595
-What are you gonna wear?
-I don't know.

261
00:10:41,639 --> 00:10:43,859
I was thinking, like, acollared shirt, jacket, no tie.

262
00:10:43,902 --> 00:10:46,862
-Yeah, yeah, no tie.
-Yeah, definitely no tie.

263
00:10:46,905 --> 00:10:47,819
[indistinct chatter]

264
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:51,867
That son of a bitch.

265
00:10:51,910 --> 00:10:53,738
Good evening.
I'm Tom Tucker, and I will be

266
00:10:53,782 --> 00:10:55,218
your moderator
for tonight's mayoral debate.

267
00:10:55,261 --> 00:10:57,786
Not because I want to,
but because it counts

268
00:10:57,829 --> 00:10:59,875
as community service
for open-hand smacking

269
00:10:59,918 --> 00:11:01,137
an Uber Eats guy.

270
00:11:01,180 --> 00:11:02,834
Let's meet our candidates.

271
00:11:02,878 --> 00:11:05,881
First, the impeccably-dressed
Glenn Quagmire.

272
00:11:05,924 --> 00:11:08,013
-Thank you, Tom.
-Is that a Windsor knot?

273
00:11:08,057 --> 00:11:09,232
Double Windsor, Tom.

274
00:11:09,275 --> 00:11:10,668
Excellent. Some might describe

275
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,888
that tie as "mayoral."

276
00:11:12,931 --> 00:11:15,760
Next up, we have
super-caj Brian Griffin.

277
00:11:15,804 --> 00:11:18,110
I was gonna wear a tie.
He told me not to.

278
00:11:18,154 --> 00:11:20,591
He's already losing,
and it hasn't started yet.

279
00:11:20,634 --> 00:11:22,854
First question:
as candidates for mayor,

280
00:11:22,898 --> 00:11:24,813
how do I put my apps
into a folder?

281
00:11:24,856 --> 00:11:26,423
I know how to get them shaky,

282
00:11:26,466 --> 00:11:28,033
I just can't get them
in a folder.

283
00:11:28,077 --> 00:11:29,469
You just drag them
into each other.

284
00:11:29,513 --> 00:11:31,036
But you know what else is shaky?

285
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:32,864
My opponent's economic plan.

286
00:11:32,908 --> 00:11:35,649
It's irresponsible for the townto get two credit cards

287
00:11:35,693 --> 00:11:37,913
and just swap the balance
back and forth each month.

288
00:11:37,956 --> 00:11:40,393
But-but the town
would get miles.

289
00:11:40,437 --> 00:11:42,831
Whoa, so I can just name
the folder whatever I want?

290
00:11:42,874 --> 00:11:44,833
"Tom's Stuff."

291
00:11:44,876 --> 00:11:48,010
SOPHIE:
Okay, Tom, we go live
in three, two...

292
00:11:48,053 --> 00:11:51,448
Good evening, Quahog, andwelcome to your mayoral debate.

293
00:11:51,491 --> 00:11:54,407
What the... None of that aired?
I was totally winning.

294
00:11:54,451 --> 00:11:55,713
That's okay, we'll recreate it.

295
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:58,368
Now, Mr. Quagmire,
you're a dirty sex fiend.

296
00:11:58,411 --> 00:12:01,371
Why would you wear a tie
to a casual debate?

297
00:12:01,414 --> 00:12:02,676
Good question, Tom.

298
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:06,071
And I'll answer that
with one word: pizza!

299
00:12:06,115 --> 00:12:07,856
[cheering]

300
00:12:07,899 --> 00:12:09,814
Damn it, he burned me twice.

301
00:12:09,858 --> 00:12:12,382
And, you're not gonna, like,bring pizza for everyone, right?

302
00:12:12,425 --> 00:12:14,166
No, it's a debate.
They'll have food there.

303
00:12:14,210 --> 00:12:16,516
Right, they'll have food there.Okay, so, no tie, no pizza.

304
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:18,692
I'll see you there.

305
00:12:21,304 --> 00:12:23,175
Open the door, Quagmire.

306
00:12:23,219 --> 00:12:25,961
Hey, Brian. I was just
emptying my bus garbage.

307
00:12:26,004 --> 00:12:28,093
Would you like to eat it first?

308
00:12:28,137 --> 00:12:29,921
What's the catch?

309
00:12:29,965 --> 00:12:31,053
God, you're a dumb beast.

310
00:12:31,096 --> 00:12:33,098
Come on in.

311
00:12:41,150 --> 00:12:44,457
-Have a seat, Brian.
-I'm fine standing, thank you.

312
00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:46,633
Let's cut the crap. The only
reason you're running is...

313
00:12:46,677 --> 00:12:49,071
-[tires screeching]
-to make me look ridiculous.

314
00:12:49,114 --> 00:12:50,463
And I am not just some idiot

315
00:12:50,507 --> 00:12:53,075
to be laughed at
and not taken seriously.

316
00:12:53,118 --> 00:12:55,033
Ha! Sit down, Snoopy.

317
00:12:55,077 --> 00:12:57,427
What did you say?

318
00:12:57,470 --> 00:13:02,084
I said,
"Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog."

319
00:13:02,127 --> 00:13:04,042
You son of a bitch!

320
00:13:05,043 --> 00:13:06,218
[horn honking]

321
00:13:06,262 --> 00:13:09,308
You idiot! He's allergic
to getting hit in the head!

322
00:13:09,352 --> 00:13:11,180
♪

323
00:13:13,965 --> 00:13:15,401
[both screaming]

324
00:13:27,936 --> 00:13:29,938
♪

325
00:13:41,645 --> 00:13:43,168
Oh, my God, we're gonna die!

326
00:13:43,212 --> 00:13:45,518
Calm down, Brian.
This bus has OnStar.

327
00:13:45,562 --> 00:13:47,520
WOMAN:
OnStar roadside assistance.

328
00:13:47,564 --> 00:13:50,175
Yes, our bus went over a cliff.We need help.

329
00:13:50,219 --> 00:13:51,350
Glenn?

330
00:13:51,394 --> 00:13:53,831
I-Is this Glenn Quagmire?

331
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,398
Yes, sweetheart. Hi, who's this?

332
00:13:55,441 --> 00:13:58,401
It's Melissa.
From the Ramada Inn.

333
00:13:58,444 --> 00:14:00,055
Oh.

334
00:14:00,098 --> 00:14:03,188
The Framingham Ramada Inn
or the Cranston Ramada Inn?

335
00:14:03,232 --> 00:14:04,929
Cranston.

336
00:14:04,973 --> 00:14:06,409
Oh, yeah, we're gonna die.

337
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,072
[strains]:
I think my leg is broken.

338
00:14:17,115 --> 00:14:19,988
Oh, my God, how are we gonna
get down from here?

339
00:14:21,076 --> 00:14:23,078
-You think he's dead?
-I don't know.

340
00:14:23,121 --> 00:14:24,862
Hey. Hey, buddy?

341
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:26,211
[whistles]

342
00:14:26,255 --> 00:14:29,432
-What's his name?
-Uh, it's something Spanishy.

343
00:14:29,475 --> 00:14:31,434
I-I think it starts with a "G"?

344
00:14:31,477 --> 00:14:34,089
G-Gerr, G-Ga, Goo...

345
00:14:34,132 --> 00:14:37,396
Goo, Goo-gar... Goo-gardo.G... Yeah, that's it, Googardo.

346
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:38,963
That doesn't sound
like any name.

347
00:14:39,007 --> 00:14:40,443
Well, sure it does. Googardo?

348
00:14:40,486 --> 00:14:42,184
Say something
if you're okay, Googardo.

349
00:14:42,227 --> 00:14:44,838
The more you say it, the moreit doesn't sound like anything.

350
00:14:44,882 --> 00:14:48,668
Googardo? Move something
if you're alive, Googardo.

351
00:14:55,284 --> 00:14:58,113
-Oh, my God!
-Oh, look, there's his jacket.

352
00:14:58,156 --> 00:15:00,202
Oh, yeah, his name was Frank.

353
00:15:00,245 --> 00:15:03,379
I can't believe this. I'm gonnadie with Glenn Quagmire.

354
00:15:03,422 --> 00:15:06,208
Hey, dying with Glenn Quagmire
was good enough for Googardo.

355
00:15:06,251 --> 00:15:08,427
Vaya con Dios,Googy.

356
00:15:08,471 --> 00:15:09,994
Please don't use
the familiar form

357
00:15:10,038 --> 00:15:12,388
of a guy's name you never knew.

358
00:15:16,609 --> 00:15:19,003
What was I thinking getting
on this bus with you?

359
00:15:19,047 --> 00:15:22,006
It was dumber than when Peter
hired that raccoon accountant.

360
00:15:22,050 --> 00:15:23,790
PETER:
All right, well,
you're the money guy.

361
00:15:23,834 --> 00:15:27,969
Let's put it all in
to slightly-open trash cans.

362
00:15:35,324 --> 00:15:37,152
You have anything
to eat in here?

363
00:15:37,195 --> 00:15:38,283
Yeah, there's some
edible underwear

364
00:15:38,327 --> 00:15:39,502
in that bag over there.

365
00:15:39,545 --> 00:15:41,243
Ugh, isn't there anything else?

366
00:15:41,286 --> 00:15:43,723
I have a ball of peanut butter
with a pill inside.

367
00:15:43,767 --> 00:15:46,988
Hmm, wish you hadn't told me
about the pill.

368
00:15:51,775 --> 00:15:53,211
[sniffing]

369
00:15:55,213 --> 00:15:57,041
You know,
this underwear's not bad.

370
00:15:57,085 --> 00:15:59,304
Are they
for your political groupies?

371
00:15:59,348 --> 00:16:00,740
No, these-these are men's.

372
00:16:00,784 --> 00:16:02,481
They're-they're mine.

373
00:16:04,266 --> 00:16:07,443
Quagmire, why did you
even want to be mayor?

374
00:16:07,486 --> 00:16:10,402
Honestly? I just want
a street named after me.

375
00:16:10,446 --> 00:16:12,100
I think that's kind of cool.

376
00:16:12,143 --> 00:16:13,927
Actually, that iskind of cool.

377
00:16:13,971 --> 00:16:15,277
Why did you want to be mayor?

378
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:19,194
Mayor West told me he wentto 65 pancake breakfasts a year.

379
00:16:19,237 --> 00:16:22,501
That number--
that-that stuck with me.

380
00:16:22,545 --> 00:16:24,634
What, like, the...
like, the pancakes were free?

381
00:16:24,677 --> 00:16:27,202
-Yeah.
-65.

382
00:16:27,245 --> 00:16:29,291
That-That's, like, pancakes
every Saturday morning

383
00:16:29,334 --> 00:16:30,857
and probably some Sundays.

384
00:16:30,901 --> 00:16:32,990
And sometimes it's, like,
kids making the pancakes,

385
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,731
and-and you get
these mondo huge ones.

386
00:16:34,774 --> 00:16:36,341
Wow.

387
00:16:36,385 --> 00:16:38,561
Probably nochocolate chip pancakes, though.

388
00:16:38,604 --> 00:16:40,998
Are you kidding me?
65 a year, you're gonna get

389
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:43,131
at least eight to ten
chocolate chip pancake events.

390
00:16:43,174 --> 00:16:45,133
-You think eight to ten?
-Yes.

391
00:16:45,176 --> 00:16:47,700
And now that I say it out loud,eight to ten sounds low.

392
00:16:47,744 --> 00:16:50,355
So, pancakes is why
you wanted to be mayor?

393
00:16:50,399 --> 00:16:53,532
Well, pancakes and...look at the people in our town.

394
00:16:53,576 --> 00:16:55,491
-Who else is gonna do it?
-I know.

395
00:16:55,534 --> 00:16:57,449
This is such a garbage town.

396
00:16:57,493 --> 00:16:59,495
You know,
when you think about it,

397
00:16:59,538 --> 00:17:01,975
we're reallythe only two viable candidates.

398
00:17:02,019 --> 00:17:03,281
I mean, you're a pilot.

399
00:17:03,325 --> 00:17:05,153
You're responsible
for people's lives.

400
00:17:05,196 --> 00:17:06,719
You make quick decisions.

401
00:17:06,763 --> 00:17:09,331
Or the machinery in the plane
makes quick decisions.

402
00:17:09,374 --> 00:17:11,246
M-My point is,
you're a smart guy.

403
00:17:11,289 --> 00:17:13,248
Thank you.

404
00:17:13,291 --> 00:17:16,251
And now you say something nice
about me.

405
00:17:16,294 --> 00:17:19,123
-Like what?
-Like I'm good company,

406
00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:20,298
and I'm smart and funny,

407
00:17:20,342 --> 00:17:22,387
and I'm invited
to all your pool parties.

408
00:17:22,431 --> 00:17:25,608
And I should just come overif I hear one of them going on.

409
00:17:25,651 --> 00:17:27,131
No, thank you.

410
00:17:27,175 --> 00:17:28,567
But... but you have to.

411
00:17:28,611 --> 00:17:30,395
I'm not gonna say something
I don't mean

412
00:17:30,439 --> 00:17:32,049
just because
your ego needs to hear it.

413
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:34,182
See? That's why
I ran against you.

414
00:17:34,225 --> 00:17:36,706
Because I know that's the only
reason you were doing this.

415
00:17:36,749 --> 00:17:38,534
You're a complete tool!

416
00:17:38,577 --> 00:17:40,405
WOMAN:
You do sound
like kind of a tool.

417
00:17:40,449 --> 00:17:43,278
See? Even Melissa from OnStar
thinks you're a tool.

418
00:17:43,321 --> 00:17:44,975
You've been listening
this whole time?

419
00:17:45,018 --> 00:17:47,064
There's nothing to do
at OnStar.

420
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:48,326
People have iPhones now.

421
00:17:48,370 --> 00:17:51,155
I just listen in to cars.
Sometimes there's sex.

422
00:17:51,199 --> 00:17:53,766
Screw this. We just got
to get out of this bus.

423
00:17:53,810 --> 00:17:55,855
Regardless of what we think
of each other,

424
00:17:55,899 --> 00:17:57,596
this is no way for us to die.

425
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,207
I'm gonna try
and climb up to the street

426
00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:01,426
-and see if I can get help.
-Just be careful.

427
00:18:01,470 --> 00:18:03,385
I don't know how stable
this thing is.

428
00:18:04,429 --> 00:18:05,909
[grunts]

429
00:18:11,088 --> 00:18:12,176
[grunts]

430
00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:14,352
Oh, my God.
You just got hit in the throat

431
00:18:14,396 --> 00:18:15,832
with a gentleman's dildo.

432
00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:17,877
-Hey, Melissa.
-What? What happened?

433
00:18:17,921 --> 00:18:20,619
He got hit in the throat
with a gentleman's dildo.

434
00:18:20,663 --> 00:18:22,839
[laughs]
See,

435
00:18:22,882 --> 00:18:24,710
this is why I listen.

436
00:18:26,234 --> 00:18:28,758
♪

437
00:18:28,801 --> 00:18:30,368
[grunting]

438
00:18:46,515 --> 00:18:47,907
[Quagmire grunts]

439
00:18:47,951 --> 00:18:49,170
[both scream]

440
00:18:56,742 --> 00:18:59,267
♪

441
00:18:59,310 --> 00:19:01,094
Mayor West?

442
00:19:13,324 --> 00:19:15,196
[grunting]

443
00:19:18,938 --> 00:19:20,375
Hey, guys. Don't mind me.

444
00:19:20,418 --> 00:19:23,291
I'm gonna go steal
that bus driver's identity.

445
00:19:23,334 --> 00:19:25,989
The Celtics
are free money tonight!

446
00:19:32,082 --> 00:19:34,606
Well, Lois, you almost had
a female president.

447
00:19:34,650 --> 00:19:36,260
I almost had a dog mayor.

448
00:19:36,304 --> 00:19:38,131
I can't believe
they canceled the election

449
00:19:38,175 --> 00:19:40,743
after they thought Brian
and Mr. Quagmire were dead.

450
00:19:40,786 --> 00:19:43,180
Does that mean
we still need a mayor?

451
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,660
ANNOUNCER:
It sure does, America.

452
00:19:44,703 --> 00:19:47,402
Who do you think should be
the next mayor of Quahog?

453
00:19:47,445 --> 00:19:50,318
Register your votes
at fox.com/family-guy.

454
00:19:50,361 --> 00:19:52,189
Your votes don't count.
It's a trick.

455
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,408
They're just tracking your data.

456
00:19:53,451 --> 00:19:55,497
No, it's not. No, it's not.

457
00:19:55,540 --> 00:19:57,977
Is Mr. Quagmire okay
after the accident?

458
00:19:58,021 --> 00:20:01,372
Yeah, he's fine. He's having oneof his private pool parties.

459
00:20:04,593 --> 00:20:06,334
[whispering]:
Hey, girls. Thanks for coming.

460
00:20:06,377 --> 00:20:08,771
Is your voice still broken
from the accident?

461
00:20:08,814 --> 00:20:10,338
No, no,
I-I'm just trying to be quiet.

462
00:20:10,381 --> 00:20:11,861
Grab yourself a drink.

463
00:20:11,904 --> 00:20:13,558
I'm gonna have some chips first.

464
00:20:13,602 --> 00:20:14,994
No, no, no!

465
00:20:15,038 --> 00:20:18,041
Is that a pool party I hear?

466
00:20:19,129 --> 00:20:21,305
Cannonball!

467
00:20:21,349 --> 00:20:23,699
And that was the moment
I remembered...

468
00:20:23,742 --> 00:20:25,788
Quagmire doesn't have
a swimming pool.

469
00:20:26,789 --> 00:20:28,791
[groaning]

470
00:20:33,404 --> 00:20:35,537
ADAM WEST:
I want to be a mayor

471
00:20:35,580 --> 00:20:37,103
in real life.

472
00:20:37,147 --> 00:20:38,801
So I'm here to ask you

473
00:20:38,844 --> 00:20:41,151
to make me the mayor
of your town.

474
00:20:41,194 --> 00:20:43,153
Vote for me, Adam West.

475
00:20:43,196 --> 00:20:46,591
It'll be a home run.

476
00:20:46,635 --> 00:20:48,637
Ugh.

477
00:20:52,075 --> 00:20:54,425
It'll be a home run.

478
00:20:55,426 --> 00:20:57,428
-Pow!
-[cheering]