1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:04,586
♪ it seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:07,673
♪ is violence in movies
and sex on tv ♪
3
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:11,343
♪ but where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,429 --> 00:00:14,346
♪ on which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,432 --> 00:00:17,975
♪ lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:21,270
♪ lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:22,896
♪ all the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:22,982 --> 00:00:24,148
♪ laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,275 --> 00:00:30,154
♪ he's... A...
Fam... Ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:38,871
Anybody know how to empty
the reservoir on a realdoll?
11
00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:41,373
'cause the website is
mostly testimonials.
12
00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:44,251
Peter, of course you know
what today is.
13
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:46,587
Yeah, donald sutherland's
birthday.
14
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,797
And maybe another special day?
15
00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:50,215
National dachshund day.
16
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:54,094
Oh, peter, you forgot our
anniversary again, didn't you?
17
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,889
What? No, no, I-I got you
an awesome gift.
18
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,891
But you can't see it
until tonight.
19
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,476
Tonight? Wh-why tonight?
20
00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:03,312
Oh, you'll see.
Tonight is gonna be amazing.
21
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,064
You're gonna smile
bigger than I did
22
00:01:05,149 --> 00:01:07,274
When I was on the cover
of mad magazine.
23
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:08,901
[laughs]
24
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:11,570
You kids don't remember mad
or magazines.
25
00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:14,281
Fortunately, I'm on
broadcast television.
26
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:15,991
What, me worry?
27
00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:17,993
Okay, me worry.
28
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,165
I wonder how old
donald sutherland is today.
29
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,417
-I don't know, pretty old.
-He looks good, though.
30
00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:27,002
And you know what?
I think the key there
31
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:28,504
Is never looking good.
32
00:01:28,631 --> 00:01:30,547
Brian, quick, check out
your six o'clock.
33
00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:33,217
Or-or your nine o'clock.
I can't tell time.
34
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,220
A perfectly good mini fridge.
35
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,138
Well, you're gonna have to
fight danny devito for it.
36
00:01:38,224 --> 00:01:39,765
Would you look at that.
37
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:42,601
A perfectly good,
normal-size fridge.
38
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:43,852
You know what?
39
00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:46,146
If this works,
I'm going to put it in my room.
40
00:01:46,232 --> 00:01:48,273
Stewie, you're too little
to have a fridge in your room.
41
00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:50,484
Think whatever you want, brian,
but I'm taking this
42
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:51,860
Before danny devito gets it.
43
00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:54,113
That's all right, kid.
I don't need it anymore.
44
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:55,989
[singers]
♪ danny devito ♪
45
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:58,575
♪ got bit by a magic mosquito. ♪
46
00:01:58,661 --> 00:02:00,994
[announcer] danny devito
and the magic mosquito,
47
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,788
Now streaming on peacock.
48
00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:05,582
I'm hearing a lot of buzz.
49
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:12,339
There he is.
Here comes the groom!
50
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:13,882
-[noisemakers blare]
-[applause]
51
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:16,218
Geez, even you guys know
it's my anniversary?
52
00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:18,011
-How is that possible?
-It's easy.
53
00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:20,597
-I follow your wife.
-You mean on instagram?
54
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,558
Yep.
55
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,059
Peter, let me guess.
56
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,019
You forgot
your anniversary again.
57
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:28,397
Yeah. What's worse, I lied,
and I told lois
58
00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:30,274
I had a awesome gift planned
for tonight.
59
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:31,984
If I don't come up with
something amazing,
60
00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:33,277
I am so screwed.
61
00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:35,571
Hey, you want to
give lois a treat?
62
00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:36,780
Popcorn-ucopia.
63
00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,282
Now, they're a little outfit
out there
64
00:02:38,409 --> 00:02:40,868
In fort wayne, indiana,
family owned and operated
65
00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:44,204
For five generations over there
in the "crossroads of america."
66
00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:45,414
Indiana's state motto.
67
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,249
And get this.
They make a metal cannister
68
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,168
With three different kinds
of popcorn,
69
00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:51,003
But they're separated!
70
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:53,630
Maybe you should just
take lois out
71
00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:55,174
To a fine restaurant.
72
00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:58,635
Now, I can hear some of you
saying, "joe, why separated?"
73
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:00,512
None of us are saying that, joe.
74
00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:01,930
Okay, here's why.
75
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,892
Three flavors of popcorn
in one tin, and they don't mix.
76
00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:06,560
Unless, of course,
you want them to mix.
77
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,853
This is a home run, man.
78
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:09,354
Kind of short notice
to get a good table
79
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:10,689
In any restaurant.
80
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,399
I don't think you appreciate
that they don't mix.
81
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,401
Your caramel corn stays separate
from your cheese corn,
82
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,986
Which stays separate
from your corn corn.
83
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,779
You see, in the past,
you would need
84
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,615
-Three tubs of corn.
-Yes, we get it!
85
00:03:19,742 --> 00:03:21,283
We know about the corn, joe!
86
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:24,244
[chuckles]
honestly, I don't think you do.
87
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,038
Forgive me for eavesdropping,
88
00:03:26,165 --> 00:03:28,832
But I have a flat-bottom dory
with a quiet outboard
89
00:03:28,951 --> 00:03:30,167
I'd be glad to lend you.
90
00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:32,169
Full moon tonight.
Why not take your bride
91
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,880
On a romantic cruise
around quahog harbor?
92
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,123
You know what?
I think lois would like that.
93
00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:40,385
Ooh, the romantic boat ride
is the perfect surprise.
94
00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,012
You can bring along
a tub of popcorn,
95
00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:43,013
'cause the tin's waterproof.
96
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,389
And if you'd like, I could also
97
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,768
Row up alongside you and
play "brandy" on the accordion.
98
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,186
Yeah, no, just the boat, thanks.
99
00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:51,230
Aw, I always drive past my exit.
100
00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:52,898
Lois is gonna love this, peter.
101
00:03:52,942 --> 00:03:54,233
She's gonna think
you're a true romantic,
102
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:55,609
Like michael douglas.
103
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:59,613
So who wants to hear
how I think I got mouth cancer?
104
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,658
She's, uh...
105
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,451
She's heard this one before.
106
00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:08,497
Check it out, rupert.
107
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,040
Juice box, boom!
108
00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,250
Go-gurts? Yep.
109
00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:13,085
And most importantly,
for freshness,
110
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,879
An open box of
armie hammer's baking powder,
111
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,298
Now with 40% more fingers.
112
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,343
Pretty much all he had to do
was not eat people.
113
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,053
How the hell did you
get that up here?
114
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,888
With no help from you, thanks.
115
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,015
But you know what?
You still get a cola.
116
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,101
Ah. Convenient, I guess.
117
00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:30,435
Can's not so cold, though.
118
00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:32,437
Yeah, everything in there
is either lukewarm
119
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:33,855
Or frozen solid.
120
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,274
Stewie, I still think
it's a bad idea
121
00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:36,650
For you to have this thing
in here.
122
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,560
Yeah, not really looking for
advice from the guy
123
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:42,155
Who puts a fire emoji on
all dua lipa's instagram posts.
124
00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:43,782
She's not gonna respond, bri.
125
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,993
She used to respond
before she had so many fans.
126
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,287
She was 14!
And she thought you were 11
127
00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,664
-Because you said you were 11.
-Because I was 11!
128
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:52,416
See? You're still saying it.
129
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,379
Well, happy anniversary, lois.
130
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,715
Huh? Did I tell you?
Isn't this nice?
131
00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,217
You know, I have to admit
I had my doubts,
132
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:05,012
But you really surprised me.
133
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:07,139
A romantic dinner on a boat?
134
00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,141
Right? Who needs
a fancy restaurant
135
00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:11,143
When you can be wet
and kind of dizzy?
136
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,645
Oh, peter, it's just perfect.
137
00:05:13,731 --> 00:05:14,980
Well, except for
that cruise ship
138
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,940
That still can't dock
because of covid.
139
00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,817
Is the election over yet?
140
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,153
We are all pooping in the sink!
141
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:23,780
I'm from iowa, so I still think
this is awesome.
142
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:25,741
Oh, there's something
about the ocean
143
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:28,243
That's always been
so magical to me.
144
00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:31,496
And I say we celebrate.
145
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:32,998
[gasps]
146
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,462
Ah, now we're talking.
147
00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:41,340
All right, cannonball!
148
00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:47,471
[voice muffled]
♪ there's got to be ♪
149
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:50,724
♪ a morning after. ♪
150
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,351
[people scream]
151
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,520
[lois laughs]
152
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,814
Peter, I feel like a kid again.
153
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,608
Isn't this exhilarating?
154
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,526
The moon, the stars,
155
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:04,279
The dark triangular
dorsal fin heading our way.
156
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:08,075
The dark triangular dorsal fin
heading our way!
157
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:10,619
Shark!
158
00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:12,371
[panicked shouts]
159
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:16,208
[lois cries out]
160
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:21,463
Peter! Peter, don't leave me
to die out here!
161
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:23,548
Peter, come back!
162
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:26,885
Hold on, lois. I'm gonna grab
a real quick hot chocolate.
163
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,470
Warm up my bones.
164
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,015
[screams]
165
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,975
-[screams]
-[squeaking]
166
00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:36,311
Oh, god. Thank god.
167
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,188
It's just a dolphin.
168
00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:40,899
[grunts]
169
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,734
[panting]
170
00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:44,236
Ah, perfect.
171
00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:49,699
[phone dings]
172
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,293
Hey, good morning, lovebirds.
173
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:02,170
So, how'd
the moonlight cruise go?
174
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,673
Dad saw a shark
and left mom to die.
175
00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,299
Oh, come on.
All that nice stuff
176
00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:09,177
I did last night, we're only
gonna focus on that one thing?
177
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:10,720
Damn it, peter,
you're supposed to be
178
00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:12,097
The alpha in my life.
179
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,349
Someone to stand up
and take charge.
180
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:17,436
But you never even looked back
to see if I was okay.
181
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,271
Y-you just raced off.
182
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,606
You hear about anne heche?
Sad, huh?
183
00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,275
Peter, don't try
to change the subject!
184
00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:25,068
You were always jealous of her!
185
00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:26,278
You know what, peter?
186
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,113
I am so disappointed in you,
187
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,740
I am taking the exclamation
points out of this argument.
188
00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:31,950
You can't do that.
189
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:34,119
Male arguments are powerless
without volume.
190
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,079
That just leaves us with words.
191
00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:38,165
[calmly]
I'm done here.
192
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:43,128
Wow, peter, I've never
seen lois so upset.
193
00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:44,254
Looks like you're in--
194
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:45,881
And I find this phrase
offensive--
195
00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:47,132
The doghouse.
196
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:49,417
Oh, I've solved
bigger problems than this.
197
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,970
Like when I forgot the safe word
at that sex party.
198
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,930
Aardvark. Aah!
199
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,016
Aardwolf. Abacus. Aah!
200
00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:58,602
Abandon. Aah! Abase. Aah!
201
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,979
Abate. Aah! Abattoir.
202
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,772
[peter]
the good news was
I had memorized
203
00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:05,275
The entire dictionary
when I got bored over covid.
204
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,736
The bad news was
the safe word was "zyzzyva,"
205
00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,529
A genus of
south american weevils,
206
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,491
Which, coincidentally,
I was forced to keister.
207
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:15,452
[reggae music playing]
208
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:18,747
[phone clicking]
209
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,628
Bri, what up, dawg?
Grab a brewski from the mini.
210
00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:25,795
I can't have any more, though.
211
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,422
Got to cram for a test
in the morning.
212
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,591
Where exactly
are you going to school?
213
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,635
Um, university of college.
214
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:32,886
Not for long, though.
215
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,013
Just got my grades. Not good.
216
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,139
Stewie, I think
this fridge thing...
217
00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,974
Yo check out my maxim posters.
218
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,977
Hot, right? No, no. Yes, yes.
219
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,521
No, yes, no.
220
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:45,857
-Why would you put up the nos?
-So you know when it's a yes.
221
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,317
Stewie, we got to talk.
222
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,361
Brah, if this is about
you and I being roommates,
223
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,488
I was gonna put a word in
with colin,
224
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:52,489
But I already have one.
225
00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:54,574
Brian, meet guy.
226
00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,868
Guy? Okay. Pleased to meet you.
227
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,286
Oh, guy doesn't speak
much english.
228
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,288
He's from quebec.
Engineering, I think.
229
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:03,375
But he is insane, brian.
A legend.
230
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,168
Guy. Allons.
231
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,714
Ah, look at him drinking
that soda.
232
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,007
Classic guy.
233
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,968
-Okay, anyway, stewie...
-Can't talk now, bri.
234
00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:15,720
Got to spend some time
messing around on the guitar.
235
00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:18,848
[discordant notes]
236
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,183
I didn't even know you played.
237
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:21,935
Oh, yeah, all the time. A lot.
238
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,895
Bros down the hall
call me "ramen,"
239
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:24,854
'cause I'm always noodling.
240
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:27,315
Hey, what's going on, no pubes?
241
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,527
They-they... They call,
they call me a lot of things.
242
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:35,282
Lois, I told you
I would make it up to you,
243
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,867
So I got you something
very special.
244
00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:41,246
I got you in the opening credits
of snl.
245
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:42,581
-[lively music playing]
-[peter] okay, look.
246
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:44,165
Here comes kenan.
247
00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:46,126
Oh, look at him
playfully hailing a cab.
248
00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:48,837
And here you are.
249
00:09:48,964 --> 00:09:50,338
Look how cool and hip you look
250
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:53,300
Walking by a manhole cover
with steam coming out of it.
251
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:57,679
Uhp, looks like kenan's
still trying to wave down a cab.
252
00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:01,349
Ah, there you go again!
Now you're at the club,
253
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,351
Holding up a "one more" signal
for a drink.
254
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,479
Why won't nobody stop for kenan?
255
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:10,567
Oh, but mikey day
gets a cab first try.
256
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,027
Oh, he's sharing it with kenan.
257
00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:13,695
He's sharing it. Okay.
258
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:18,074
Oh, a very stressful
opening credits this week.
259
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,704
Stewie, did you do this?
260
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,248
Geez, brian, don't just come
barging in here like that.
261
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:27,500
I thought you were
campus security.
262
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,003
Guy pushed an air conditioner
263
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,630
Off the parking garage
yesterday.
264
00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:33,715
Almost hit
a public safety officer.
265
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,008
By the way, that's between us.
266
00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:36,760
They're going door to door.
It's pretty serious.
267
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:37,927
I don't care about that.
268
00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:39,888
I want to know who wrote
"renob" on my chest
269
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,181
When I was sleeping.
270
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,642
"renob"? Brian,
you read that in the mirror.
271
00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:45,352
-It's "boner."
-what?!
272
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:46,686
Great. Thanks, bri.
273
00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:49,147
Now we've got the r.A.
Coming in to check on us.
274
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:51,399
Hey, stewie, guy, look,
275
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:55,695
I like fun as much as anybody,
but we've had some complaints,
276
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:59,032
And you really got to keep
the noise down in here.
277
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:02,077
Oh, and, hey, I reviewed
your party application,
278
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,787
And everything looks
to be in order,
279
00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:05,580
So you're good to go.
280
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,082
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
wait a minute. Party?
281
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,250
-Who's having a party?
-I am.
282
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,753
And it'll be loaded
with chicks, thanks to guy.
283
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,421
This guy's all about
the poutine,
284
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,674
Which sounds dirty,
but it's just a gravy
285
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,050
They put on french fries.
286
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:19,427
Stewie, you've taken this
mini fridge thing too far.
287
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:20,970
I'm moving this thing
out of here.
288
00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:23,139
Oh, be careful, bri.
Not a good idea.
289
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:24,724
You don't want to piss off guy.
290
00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:26,142
Yesterday he crow-hopped
a dip tin
291
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,602
And knocked a guy out.
292
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:28,728
Oh, wow, did he really?
293
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:31,231
Well, now I'm so
very scared of guy.
294
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,566
-Aah!
-Oh, ho, ho, guy.
295
00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:35,402
Ce fut un grand lancer!
296
00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:37,570
Je crois qu'il est mort, eh?
297
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:45,453
Special flowers
for a special lady.
298
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,038
Hmm. These are nice.
299
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,540
Except... [sniffs]
300
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,709
They smell like--
what is that, exhaust?
301
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:53,670
Why is there a picture
of a teenage latina on them?
302
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,339
Peter, did you steal these
from a roadside memorial?
303
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:58,758
They didn't love her
as much as I love you, lois.
304
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,719
Besides, it's not like
she can see 'em.
305
00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:02,971
Stolen flowers? Really, peter?
306
00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,472
Is that all I mean to you?
307
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,182
Well, there's also a candle
with one of them
308
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,184
Spooky skeletons from coco.
309
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,687
You know, peter,
a relationship is
310
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,522
Supposed to grow over time,
311
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:15,150
To give you a sense of purpose
and meaning.
312
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,110
But after all these years
with you,
313
00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,571
I-I just feel worthless.
314
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:23,116
I feel as worthless as any coin
smaller than a quarter.
315
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:25,869
Hello, my name is nickel.
316
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,203
[all]
hi, nickel.
317
00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:29,330
There was a time when I paid for
318
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:32,000
A ride on a trolley,
or a good cigar,
319
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,919
Or a hand-cranked film
of a man tipping his hat
320
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:36,755
And twirling his moustache.
321
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,924
But yesterday, I was part of
a handful of change
322
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:41,301
At a mcdonald's,
323
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,511
And the teenage girl
threw us out.
324
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:47,599
Just-just threw us in the trash
with the wrappers and the bag.
325
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,184
[sobs]
326
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:51,060
Yeah. And I'm voiced
by kevin hart.
327
00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,813
[announcer] coming this fall
from pixar, coins!
328
00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:57,317
We'll keep making things talk
until you don't show up.
329
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,402
Come on, lois. Are you gonna
stay mad at me forever?
330
00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:02,155
I've done stupid things before,
and you've always forgiven me.
331
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,907
Oh, I forgive you, peter.
332
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:05,742
I just don't think
I'll ever be able to see you
333
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:09,370
As a man, my protector
or a real husband again.
334
00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:11,289
Oh, okay.
335
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:12,665
I see.
336
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:15,502
Well, if that's how you feel,
I'll just take my things
337
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:16,961
And get out of your way.
338
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,175
This is a different realdoll.
339
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:24,427
I never figured out
how to empty the other one.
340
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:31,976
This is not good, guys.
341
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,394
She put a little
black-and-white tv
342
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:35,980
On the sun porch
and then slept there last night.
343
00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:39,275
Ooh, that's the angriest
a new England wife can get.
344
00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:41,778
Look, if I could do it
all over again, I'd save her,
345
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,238
'cause now I know
it was a dolphin
346
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:44,906
And there was no real danger.
347
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,032
Peter, don't you see?
348
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,992
We got to make you
the hero again.
349
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,118
Wait, say that again.
350
00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:51,287
We got to make you
the hero again.
351
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:52,705
Yep, yeah, you got weird teeth.
352
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,583
Wait. What did you say before
about the hero thing?
353
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,377
I said we've got to make peter
the hero...
354
00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,170
You're right.
He does have weird teeth.
355
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:02,173
I just have to show lois
I can still be her hero.
356
00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:04,133
[muffled]
that's exactly
what I was saying.
357
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:07,262
[loud dance music playing]
358
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:14,143
Brian, you made it.
359
00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:16,980
Aw, damn it,
I love this son of a bitch.
360
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,898
Are you... Are you drunk?
361
00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:20,942
Nah, I just spun around
a few times.
362
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,069
Stewie, it's-it's really loud.
363
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,404
Oh, that's all guy, man.
364
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,990
His speakers aren't even
legal in america.
365
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,325
Stewie, you were supposed to be
in bed at 7:50.
366
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:32,412
The only clock we have in here
says "miller time."
367
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,664
Come on, brian, this could be
the greatest night of our lives,
368
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:37,917
But you're all, "stewie's too
little to have a mini fridge."
369
00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:39,961
What happened to the brian
I used to know?
370
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,713
[dance music continues louder]
371
00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:48,052
You know what? You're right.
372
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:49,596
I guess I was just worried
about your safety.
373
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:50,805
But what the hell.
374
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,724
I can party with
the best of them, even guy.
375
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:54,058
There you go.
376
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,436
What's the worst that could
happen, right? Check it.
377
00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,271
Guy put his speakers
out the window,
378
00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,898
And he's cranking wagner.
379
00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,900
Everybody's like, "what?!"
380
00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:04,736
["ride of the valkyries"
playing over speakers]
381
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:07,030
♪ ♪
382
00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:18,249
You know, I don't know why
I let you talk me into
383
00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:19,500
Coming back down here.
384
00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:22,503
Because in your heart,
you know I love you, lois.
385
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,714
And because,
as chris daughtry says,
386
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,716
I'll try to do it right
this time.
387
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:27,967
It's not over.
388
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,136
-Hmm. Daughtry says it better.
-I agree.
389
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,221
-[phone beeps]
-hi, lois.
390
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:34,182
Your husband peter
wanted me to tell you
391
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,684
He'll try to do it right
this time, and...
392
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,938
♪ it's not over. ♪
393
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:43,191
Also, you may want to remind him
that his venmo did not work,
394
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:46,611
And we're gonna need to find
an alternative form of payment.
395
00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:47,779
[gasps]
396
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,822
Oh, if he was wearing
that straw hat,
397
00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,616
I would've wet myself.
398
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,785
♪ ♪
399
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,787
Oh, he's got her. [laughs]
400
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:58,331
The daughtry thing worked,
quagmire.
401
00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,749
Of course it did.
402
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:03,461
Sometimes I suffer under
the weight of my own genius.
403
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:05,505
We're all set.
404
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:07,757
This is gonna work
as long as peter remembers
405
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:10,385
To have lois
step on the 18th plank.
406
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,012
18th plank. 18th plank.
407
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,514
Eighteen. Eighteen.
408
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:16,182
Oh, I wonder if
daughtry's coming to
409
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,309
The quahog amphitheater
this season.
410
00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:22,522
Let's see, blink-182,
twenty one pilots,
411
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,565
Thirty seconds to mars...
412
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,609
182, 21, 30.
413
00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:27,902
10,000 maniacs?
414
00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:30,655
Geez, how old is
natalie merchant now? 60?
415
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,240
10,000, 60.
416
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,367
Look, lois, I'll take you
to every one of those shows
417
00:16:34,485 --> 00:16:36,911
If you just stop saying numbers
and get on the damn pier.
418
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:40,415
Uh, I-I mean,
after you, my queen.
419
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,419
♪ ♪
420
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,682
Uh, no, no. Wrong plank.
Not there.
421
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,050
-Huh?
-No, it's nothing.
422
00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:00,768
I just think you were
supposed to step here.
423
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,311
[grunts]
424
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:08,026
What the hell?
Peter, are you okay?
425
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:09,569
Uh, don't worry, lois.
426
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,363
I'll protect you
if there's any sharks around.
427
00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:16,284
I said, if there's
any sharks around.
428
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,411
Peter, I'm not ready.
I lost one of my flippers.
429
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:19,912
What do you mean,
you're not ready?
430
00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:21,164
It's not gonna work
without a shark.
431
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,082
Oh, don't worry,
there's one right there.
432
00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:26,711
♪ ♪
433
00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:28,004
Oh, phew.
434
00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:29,464
[screaming]
435
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,058
[farts]
436
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,269
[screaming]
437
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:54,197
[both screaming]
438
00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:57,575
Thank god.
439
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:58,785
Peter, are you all right?
440
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:01,454
Lois, you saved me.
441
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,207
[panting]
442
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:05,625
[gasps, chokes]
443
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:11,172
Peter, did you rig
this whole thing
444
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:13,174
So that I would fall
into the water?
445
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,884
Yes.
446
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:17,261
I guess now you're
really mad at me, huh?
447
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,806
You know what? I'm not.
448
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,058
Because I just realized
something, peter.
449
00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:24,102
I do have an alpha in my life,
450
00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:27,772
Someone to stand up
and take charge, and it's me.
451
00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:29,181
It's always been me.
452
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:31,442
And I will never again
look outside of myself
453
00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:34,195
For happiness, validation
or anything.
454
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:37,698
And you, you helped me
see this, peter. Thank you.
455
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,117
Okay.
456
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,993
And you're sure you're not mad?
457
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:44,288
Oh, no, peter, I'm not mad.
458
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:47,250
I'm horny. Hornier than
I've been in a long time.
459
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:50,461
Now, get those pants off,
you fat little bag of dirt.
460
00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:51,712
Oh.
461
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:54,132
[growling playfully]
462
00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:55,424
[laughing nervously]
463
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:56,843
[growling playfully]
464
00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:58,261
Happy anniversary?
465
00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,555
I didn't say you could talk!
466
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,932
But happy anniversary, peter.
467
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,059
[moaning]
468
00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:09,230
This is awesome.
469
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:12,108
You know, for a fat guy,
peter's got a tiny ass.
470
00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:15,027
Perfectly separated popcorn,
anyone?
471
00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:18,030
This is good.
Where'd you get it?
472
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:20,158
An elder abuse victim
sent it to the station
473
00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:23,452
As a thank-you
for arresting her grandson.
474
00:19:23,538 --> 00:19:25,580
I'm just glad something good
came out of it.
475
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:36,007
[giggling, moaning]
476
00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:41,512
Don't be late for work,
now, peter.
477
00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:44,307
-Yah!
-Ooh! Ow. Fresh.
478
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:45,975
See you tonight.
479
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,810
It's good to see you two
getting along.
480
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,645
Oh, yeah. Our marriage
will be just fine
481
00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:52,440
As long as peter remembers
that I am everything
482
00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:53,774
And he is nothing.
483
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:54,984
Is stewie still sleeping?
484
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,111
Probably. He was up
pretty late last night.
485
00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,322
I'll go check on him.
486
00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:00,990
Stewie, you up?
487
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,491
That was some...
488
00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:04,619
♪ ♪
489
00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:10,541
Oh, my god!
490
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,001
Damn it, stewie, I told you
491
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,045
You were too little
to have a fridge in your room.
492
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:17,715
[sobbing]
oh... Oh, god.
493
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,134
[sobbing continues]
494
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:23,429
["midnight, the stars and you"
playing]