1 00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:08,174 ♪ It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 2 00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:11,928 ♪ But where are those Good old-fashioned values ♪ 3 00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:14,389 ♪ On which we used to rely ♪ 4 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,726 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 5 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,521 ♪ Lucky there's a man who Positively can do ♪ 6 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,106 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 7 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,858 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 8 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:30,071 ♪ He's a family guy ♪ 9 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:36,411 Good morning, family. 10 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,830 {\an8}Now, as you all know, since four minutes ago, 11 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,248 {\an8}when I heard it on the radio, 12 00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:45,086 {\an8}it has been my lifelong dream to compete in the St. Philip's Greasy Pole Contest, 13 00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:48,173 {\an8}where shirtless men try to climb across a greasy pole. 14 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:49,299 {\an8}Come on, Chris. Let's go. 15 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:50,425 {\an8}Now, hold on, Peter. 16 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,594 {\an8}You promised you'd run errands with me today. 17 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:55,555 {\an8}You can't just bail 'cause you heard of some fun new thing. 18 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:58,767 {\an8}Lois, we both know I'm going to the whatever-I-just-said thing. 19 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,060 {\an8}Meg will fill in for me. 20 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,936 {\an8}- Fine. - All right. 21 00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:05,231 {\an8}Now, if you're gonna be filling in for me, you need to complete the online course. 22 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:10,987 Congratulations on being picked to fill in for me while I have a horse-around day. 23 00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:13,865 Now, let's talk dos and don'ts around the workplace. 24 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,118 {\an8}Okay, let's see what you've learned. 25 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:21,664 {\an8}Describe the difference between a tunic and a shawl in as much detail as possible. 26 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,293 {\an8}Congratulations on being picked... 27 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:29,214 {\an8}Every year, there's some hotshot who thinks they don't gotta watch the video. 28 00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,930 {\an8}Oh, no. I left my phone in the car. 29 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,057 {\an8}Oh, weird. I forgot mine too. 30 00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,600 {\an8}Should I run back and grab them? 31 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,811 {\an8}- Ah, we don't need 'em. - No, we do not. 32 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,480 {\an8}I, for one, welcome the lost art of conversation, 33 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,982 {\an8}of which we are both ninjas, my friend. 34 00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:49,150 {\an8}Absolutely. 35 00:01:58,201 --> 00:01:59,619 {\an8}So, how you doing, man? 36 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,330 {\an8}All good. All good in the hood. 37 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,249 {\an8}Anything new? What's new? 38 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:05,416 {\an8}Same old, same old. 39 00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,210 {\an8}- Life good? Family good? - Yep. 40 00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:11,005 {\an8}Living the dream. D-R-E-A-M. No complaints. 41 00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:12,715 {\an8}Zero complaints. 42 00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,218 {\an8}Dylan, right? Your son? He good? 43 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:16,386 {\an8}Most def. 44 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:18,972 {\an8}Most def. 45 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:23,143 {\an8}Breaking news! 46 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,477 {\an8}I can't believe this. 47 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,021 {\an8}I have a Samsung, so my alert hasn't come in yet. 48 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:30,567 {\an8}It's nice not being glued to our phones like these sheeple, huh? 49 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:33,778 There it is! Oh, my God. 50 00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,655 Slaves to the screen. 51 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:46,249 Are we almost done? 52 00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:48,084 Yeah, I need to find Stewie's rash cream. 53 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:49,460 But if you're not having fun, 54 00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:51,754 go get a squeeze from the blood pressure machine. 55 00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:53,298 That always perks me up. 56 00:02:57,427 --> 00:03:00,430 Meg, oh, my God. It's crazy here! 57 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:04,934 Dad fell off the pole and landed on his head and one of his eyes popped out. 58 00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:10,064 We picked it up and jammed it back in, but the pupil was on the other side. 59 00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,983 I'm okay. Just got a little headache. 60 00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:14,485 Also, Dad gave me a hard lemonade. 61 00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:16,237 He's pretty out of it. 62 00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:20,700 Total shocker, Chris and Dad are having a very fun day. 63 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,535 They're not the only ones, huh? 64 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,997 Oh, I also need to return this loofah. I mean, who was I kidding? 65 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:28,666 I'm a "Dial bar smeared right on the skin" gal. 66 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:31,753 Of course. Let me show you to the returns section. 67 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,507 The Prestige. 68 00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:43,681 Well, I guess Janet forgave Robert for Jamaica. 69 00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:46,017 - What are you talking about? - The wedding's back on. 70 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:49,145 And Janet officially has no backbone. 71 00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:50,271 What are you doing? 72 00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:51,898 Um, eating a sandwich? 73 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,525 Brian Griffin, I ordered ramen for us. 74 00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:56,069 We planned this last night. 75 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,238 We did? I don't-- I don't remember. 76 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,073 You were too drunk to remember? 77 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,909 I've been dying to try this place, and you said we could do it together. 78 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,202 Stewie, it's not-- 79 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,331 Uh, ramen for Stewie and Brian? 80 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,208 Apparently, it's just for Stewie. 81 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,501 Everything okay? 82 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,586 No, it's not! 83 00:04:14,712 --> 00:04:16,256 Stewie, what the hell was that? 84 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,382 What happened to us? 85 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:18,925 I thought we were best friends. 86 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:20,426 We have nothing to say at brunch, 87 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:23,012 we don't listen to each other, we forget plans we made. 88 00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:25,056 By the way, the "we" in all this is you. 89 00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,391 Don't be dramatic, Stewie. 90 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,892 - We're fine. - No, we're not. 91 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:29,769 Best friends talk about stuff. 92 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,980 I-I don't-- What do you want me to do? 93 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:35,441 If you're really asking, I saw a therapist on the Today show 94 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:38,111 talking about the emergence of friendship therapy. 95 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,570 I think it could help us. 96 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:40,655 Nope. 97 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:44,742 - Fine. - Oh, Brian, this is great. 98 00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:48,871 It'll give us the fresh start we need, like when Tom Brady moved to Tampa Bay. 99 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:52,709 All right! Now I get to cheat in shorts! 100 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,670 I'm Peyton Manning, and I approve this message. 101 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,592 So, yeah. 102 00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:04,387 This is how I reload my purse with mom stuff. 103 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,889 It's very important to always be prepared. 104 00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:07,974 Didn't ask. 105 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:12,979 Travel-size lotion, hand sanitizer, Tic Tac, so I can skip brushing my teeth. 106 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,564 Dawg, you still gotta brush! 107 00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:18,985 And mom hack 68: buy the two-dollar plastic rain bonnet. 108 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:23,031 They're made at the same factory that makes the nine-dollar ones. 109 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,366 Don't ask me how I know. 110 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,828 Oh. Meg, don't look for a sec. 111 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,749 Okay, it's safe. 112 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:37,170 Our treat for an epic errands day. 113 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,546 Amazing. 114 00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:42,091 Big surprise. I didn't win. 115 00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,468 Didn't win what? 116 00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:50,350 Oh, my God, Meg! I won! 117 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,186 You're kidding! 118 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,729 Mom, this is amazing. 119 00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:56,856 Ah! I know. I can't believe it. 120 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:59,901 It's even more exciting than the creation of Broccolini. 121 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:01,736 What is this new plant? 122 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,279 Let me ask you a question. 123 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,490 - Do you like broccoli? - Not really. 124 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:09,410 Well, I think I just figured out a way to make it harder to eat. 125 00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:15,625 I can't believe you won ten grand. 126 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:16,709 I know! 127 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:20,380 I wonder how soon I can get that house water filtration system installed. 128 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,090 A couple weeks? A month? 129 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,383 What is wrong with you? 130 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,592 W-What do you mean? 131 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:26,135 You win a boatload of money, 132 00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:28,930 and your first thought is a water filtration system? 133 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:31,182 God, how do you not blow your brains out? 134 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,267 Oh, these systems are very cool. 135 00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:35,812 No, they're not! They're boring. 136 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:38,147 Everything you do is boring. 137 00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:40,024 That's why we all want to hang out with Dad. 138 00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:42,026 Imagine what he'd do with ten grand. 139 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:45,947 Something super stupid and selfish and awesome, that's what! 140 00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,912 Dad's not the only fun one, you know. 141 00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:53,996 Uh-huh. 142 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,332 Oh, you don't believe me? Okay, okay. 143 00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:59,794 Well, what if-- what if we use the money for something fun? 144 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,838 - For just us? - Like what? 145 00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:04,924 Like going on a top secret mother-daughter trip. 146 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:08,177 Really? Mom, that would be amazing. 147 00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:10,721 Great! Now, let's keep this same energy 148 00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:13,433 while we take a quick detour for my mammogram. 149 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,893 Whoo-hoo! Girls' trip! 150 00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,395 How's it looking in there? 151 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,689 Well, it's probably nothing? 152 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:22,400 Oh. Girls' trip. 153 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:31,409 Final call for Vacation Airlines flight to Vacation Destination. 154 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,411 I can't believe we're going on a secret trip. 155 00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:34,996 This is so cool. 156 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,330 What did you tell Dad? 157 00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,249 Oh, pfft. He won't even know we're gone. 158 00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:39,959 I got him his favorite babysitter. 159 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:43,045 Lois says we're allowed to stay up past 9:00. 160 00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,547 The note says 9:00. 161 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,673 Not if it's special. 162 00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,675 A-And we're allowed to watch Beetlejuice. 163 00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:50,803 The note specifically says no Beetlejuice. 164 00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:55,975 I'm allowed to watch Coco, and it's basically the same thing. 165 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,691 I'm Doctor Wagner. Please take a seat. 166 00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:05,067 This is a test, right? 167 00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:07,069 You're free to sit anywhere you like. 168 00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:10,865 Yeah? This right? 169 00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:12,408 There's no right or wrong. 170 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:18,331 Aha! You lost. You sat too quick. 171 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,584 Are you uncomfortable that Brian had the confidence to choose a seat? 172 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,461 Yes. Brian, 1. Stewie, 0. 173 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,796 Actually, Brian, this isn't a contest. 174 00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:28,382 - Yes. 1-1. - Stewie, please sit. 175 00:08:28,382 --> 00:08:29,592 I may just stand. 176 00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,886 Oh, indecisive. 2-1. 177 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:33,804 Doc's going pen-to-pad, 178 00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:36,474 and you gotta think Stewie just evened up the score. 179 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,817 It does look like we have an ocean-view suite available 180 00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:48,402 for an extra $500, 181 00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:49,820 if you are interested. 182 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:52,073 You know what? Yes, we'll take it. 183 00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,367 The Snapple Babes are living it up. 184 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,286 Mmm, very good. So the room isn't quite ready. 185 00:08:57,286 --> 00:09:00,164 Would you like to inconveniently grab your swimsuits from your luggage 186 00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:01,624 and use the pool while you wait? 187 00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:02,792 Oh, that's okay. 188 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:06,170 We'll just buy new bathing suits at the lobby store. 189 00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:09,298 Snapple Babes? 190 00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:12,218 And for our survey, how'd you hear about the resort? 191 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,929 That rich lady from the news was murdered here. 192 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,931 Yep, that is what most people say. 193 00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:24,480 - Hey, Stewie, what are you watching? - Uh. Uh, The Gilded Age. 194 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,107 - Seriously? - I couldn't wait. 195 00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:28,484 I'm sorry. I-I'll watch it again with you tonight. 196 00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:31,153 Oh, and have you stare at me right before something big happens? 197 00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:33,114 No way. You know what? You know what? Good. 198 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,782 I'll watch shows on my own too. 199 00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:37,034 I can finally watch something after 7:00 p.m. 200 00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:40,580 Doctor Wagner would want us to play big problem, small problem. 201 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,249 A big problem is sometimes a hospital problem. 202 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:46,419 A small problem is something like your friend watches a show that-- 203 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,337 I'm not listening to this crap. This is stupid. 204 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,756 You feel like this is stupid? 205 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,926 Doctor Wagner says to use "I feel" statements. 206 00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:56,095 I feel like you are making up rules to-- 207 00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,805 Oh, Stewie's got the iPad. 208 00:09:57,805 --> 00:10:01,309 Stewie, Daddy's just gonna take the iPad into the bathroom, okay? 209 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,020 He took my Etch A Sketch. 210 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,647 Siri, show me busty Latinas. 211 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:09,984 Busty Latinas. 212 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,154 Hey, can somebody reset the Wi-Fi? 213 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:20,995 - Have you decided? - Yes. 214 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:24,498 We'd like two Lava Flows in hollowed-out pineapples, 215 00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:27,793 and sweet potato fries in a hollowed-out coconut. 216 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:31,589 Any food or drink you bring us should be inside a hollow fruit. 217 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,425 Excuse me, my son and I couldn't help but notice 218 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:37,720 you ordered all your food in hollowed-out fruit. 219 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,180 You must be very rich. 220 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,098 Aw, thanks for noticing. 221 00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:42,224 So what are your names? 222 00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,435 You can call us the Snapple Babes. 223 00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:47,021 Yeah, we're famous. 224 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:50,066 Well, maybe you can tell us all about it over dinner. 225 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:53,527 Shall we say one of the three overpriced hotel restaurants at 8:00? 226 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:55,446 We shall. 227 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:56,530 See you then. 228 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:09,210 I forgot these are prescription, but those are two smoking-hot blobs. 229 00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:19,345 So, last session I asked you each to write a love song to your friendship. 230 00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,097 Let's start with Brian. 231 00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,932 Whatever. 232 00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:26,394 ♪ Stewie, Stewie Oh, yeah ♪ 233 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:27,978 ♪ Awesome guy ♪ 234 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,063 What the hell was that? 235 00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:32,108 You couldn't be bothered to spend five minutes preparing something? 236 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,193 Like it matters. This is so stupid. 237 00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:36,278 You're stupid. 238 00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:37,613 Guys, please! 239 00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:39,782 Admit you exaggerate your accent. 240 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,618 Admit you wear shirts from museums you've never been to. 241 00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,621 Enough! 242 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,124 This is ridiculous. 243 00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,875 Your relationship is toxic. 244 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,961 You're not married. You're not blood relatives. 245 00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,212 Why continue? 246 00:11:55,423 --> 00:12:00,177 In my entire career, I have never given this advice, 247 00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:04,765 but it is my opinion that you should end this friendship. 248 00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:07,184 - Fine by me. - Makes my life easier. 249 00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:09,270 Also, your insurance card didn't go through. 250 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:12,481 And when I looked again, I realized it was a Robeks Juice card. 251 00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:15,192 You went to SUNY Albany. You'll take it and like it. 252 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,240 Okay, this is a bartering culture, 253 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,325 so we have to haggle over an amount of money 254 00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:25,745 we wouldn't even pick up if we dropped it on the ground. 255 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,965 Mom, what are they gonna do with us? 256 00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:40,801 If you let my daughter go, you can do whatever you want to me. 257 00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:42,136 In the following order: 258 00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:46,724 You, you, blonde arm hair guy, you two, maybe a quick lunch and shower, 259 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:49,643 then blonde arm hair guy again if he's into it. 260 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:04,450 You two? W-Where are we? 261 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,748 It's a co-kidnapping space. 262 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:11,999 It used to be a WeWork. 263 00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:14,293 Oh, I saw that documentary. Meh. 264 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,419 Sorry to interrupt. 265 00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:17,630 Is there, like, a trick to the Keurig machine? 266 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,757 Hey, man. Yeah, it's probably just out of water. 267 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,553 God, there's nothing in here. 268 00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:25,679 Where's the money? 269 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:28,098 Uh, I'd look in the lobby store. 270 00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,434 Guilty as charged. 271 00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:32,436 No, but they do have fun stuff in there. 272 00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:35,314 Shut up. The real money will be the ransom anyways. 273 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:37,608 We've never captured a beverage heiress before. 274 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,693 What? Who do you think we are? 275 00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:41,946 We know you're the Snapple family. 276 00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:45,491 No. This is a big misunderstanding. 277 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:49,036 We just won a Snapple contest, then spent all the money. 278 00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:51,038 You're worthless. 279 00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:54,041 It was the water. 280 00:13:57,378 --> 00:14:00,548 And do you, Janet, take Robert to be your husband? 281 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:01,632 I do. 282 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,802 "Forgive you about Jamaica." Am I right? 283 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,267 Brian. What are you doing here? 284 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,393 I should ask you that. 285 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,520 Can't believe you came knowing I'd be here. 286 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,565 Well, I'm not gonna punish Janet for what happened between us. 287 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,316 Okay. But just keep your distance. 288 00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:21,151 Fine. I get from the bar 289 00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:24,738 to the bridesmaid having a terse, ugly argument with her boyfriend. 290 00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:26,866 Okay. And I get from her 291 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:30,786 to the bald uncle looking around before telling a racist joke. 292 00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:35,749 So, how long we thinking until Stewie makes this whole event about him? 293 00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,919 Ten minutes? Should we put a little "cashish" on it? 294 00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:40,671 I just asked you to pass the butter. 295 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,631 I don't know who Stewie is. 296 00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:44,800 Do yourself a favor, keep it that way. 297 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,636 I think we're supposed to sit at the tables we were assigned. 298 00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:49,972 Yeah. No, they said I could kinda be a roamer. 299 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:55,561 Smells like butt. Let me guess, Brian was just here? 300 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:58,105 - Who's Brian? - I think that's the dog guy. 301 00:14:58,105 --> 00:15:00,774 I thought this table was just supposed to be Cornell people. 302 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:08,282 Oh, my God. Mom, we're gonna die. 303 00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:15,372 Oh, no, we're not. I have a plan. 304 00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:20,002 Uh, hey, guys. You know, if you're hungry, I have a half a granola bar in my purse. 305 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,796 This purse is useless. Just like you. 306 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,884 The good people at T.J. Maxx may disagree with you there. 307 00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:36,852 Huh? 308 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:10,803 Good day. 309 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:14,890 It was them in the nine-dollar rain bonnets. 310 00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:17,309 Told you these look like the expensive ones. 311 00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:39,456 Never mess with a mom. 312 00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:43,502 Meg, help me tie up their hands with these extremely long CVS receipts. 313 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:44,837 Why did you save these? 314 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:48,549 Oh, there's a carpet cleaning coupon on the back that I'm curious about. 315 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:58,809 I'd like to invite all the single ladies to the dance floor. 316 00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,061 Yeah! 317 00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,313 How about the single fellas? 318 00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:06,650 Yeah! 319 00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:11,155 Now, some slowly building emotional music 320 00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:16,076 for estranged friends to look at each other and regret their rift. 321 00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,883 What are we doing? 322 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,888 Hey, I, uh, have a toast. 323 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:42,186 You know, sometimes, against all odds, 324 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:45,731 two people find each other in this crazy place we call Earth. 325 00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:48,776 Sure, they might have problems. 326 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:51,111 And they might not always agree with each other. 327 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:54,323 And a therapist may even tell them they shouldn't be friends. 328 00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:57,451 Well, what I realized is, 329 00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,620 I don't want a friend I can get along with. 330 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:00,913 I can get along with anybody. 331 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,831 Table two hates you, dude. 332 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:04,625 I want a friend who I can laugh with 333 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:07,669 because they also notice that no one else is drinking cream soda, 334 00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:09,922 which means the guy in jeans brought it from home. 335 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,548 I knew they wouldn't have it. 336 00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:15,177 I want a friend who will publicly shame a mom-and-pop café 337 00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,805 for having slightly too few blueberries in their muffin. 338 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,474 Call it something else 'cause it ain't a blueberry muffin. 339 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,226 Stewie, this is for you. 340 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,902 ♪ Stewie, Stewie ♪ 341 00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,320 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 342 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,322 ♪ You're my best friend ♪ 343 00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,241 He did the work. 344 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:48,293 Stewie, I'd rather be toxic and unhealthy together 345 00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,254 than toxic and unhealthy apart. 346 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:53,090 Me too, Bri. Let's be best friends again. 347 00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:56,385 What do you say we hit the photo booth and take a couple of funny photos? 348 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,220 I've heard they have hilarious props. 349 00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,972 - No props. - Yeah. No props. Yeah. 350 00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:05,727 But Stewie did use props, and they had a big fight about it. 351 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:08,814 And it took a whole other wedding for them to make up again. 352 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:13,110 I'm Cleveland Brown, and I know my show was better than this. 353 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:19,116 I can't believe we made it home safe. 354 00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:22,077 It was so lucky you had all that stuff in your purse. 355 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:24,538 Oh, sweetie, luck had nothing to do with it. 356 00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:27,833 I'm a mom, and moms have to be prepared for anything. 357 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,544 Yeah, I really wanted to show you I could be fun like Dad, 358 00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:31,920 but look where that got us. 359 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,424 At the end of the day, someone's gotta be the responsible one here. 360 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,092 I guess you're right, Mom. 361 00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:39,887 I mean, we all love your father's water balloon fights, 362 00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:43,599 but someone's gotta pick up all the tiny balloon pieces from the grass. 363 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,934 That's my role. And it's fine. 364 00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:49,521 Do you think someday I'll be a boring, taken-for-granted wife and mom? 365 00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:52,524 Aw, I think you're well on your way, sweetheart. 366 00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,615 - Oh. How was he? - Fine. 367 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:03,994 But let's just say there's the exact same number of carrots as when you left. 368 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,787 Well, that sounds about right. 369 00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:10,083 He also said you said yogurt-covered pretzels are a healthy snack. 370 00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:12,002 You did say that. 371 00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,754 Compared to Cheetos, they are. 372 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,088 You just said it again. 373 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,097 - Here are your waffles. - Thanks so much. 374 00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:25,432 Yay. That was quick. 375 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,068 Can I grab anything else for you? 376 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,111 - No, this is great. - Cheat day.