1
00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:04,588
♪ It seems today
That all you see ♪

2
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:08,133
♪ Is violence in movies
And sex on TV ♪

3
00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:11,637
♪ But where are those
Good old-fashioned values ♪

4
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,431
[all]
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪

5
00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:18,227
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪

6
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,522
♪ Lucky there's a man who
Positively can do ♪

7
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,106
♪ All the things
That make us ♪

8
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,942
♪ Laugh and cry ♪

9
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:30,072
[all]
♪ He's a family guy ♪

10
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:40,999
Ha! What is this?
It's incredible.

11
00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:43,210
It's like, I mean, one must
presume the car

12
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,920
was on the way to eat at home,
but, you know,

13
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:48,215
because restaurants have a reputation
of convenience and deliciousness,

14
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:51,760
the driver was forced to veer away,
putting other drivers at risk.

15
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:54,972
But that just underscores
how much better restaurants are than home.

16
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,139
That's what makes it funny.

17
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,474
That's why we're all laughing.

18
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,101
Have you never seen a meme?

19
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,811
A meme?
What the devil is that?

20
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,480
People take an image
and put some stupid little text on it

21
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:04,606
and think they're funny.

22
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:07,192
Memes are basically
Mad Libs for personality.

23
00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:09,278
[chuckles] Take it easy.
They're free.

24
00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:12,698
No, they take zero thought or effort,
like movies for Kevin Costner.

25
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:16,702
Okay, so your character's in a cowboy hat
looking way off in the distance.

26
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:19,162
What if it's just kind of
off in the distance?

27
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,957
Uh, sure. And you're having
a really hard time.

28
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,459
What if it's just
kind of a hard time?

29
00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:27,170
That should work.
Oh, and the leading lady is young,

30
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,506
but I'm guessing
you prefer kind of young?

31
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,009
Nah, I won't push back
on that one.

32
00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:40,475
Ah, never gonna have
a better opportunity.

33
00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,769
Excuse me, sir.
Okay, you're out on the water.

34
00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:44,646
Settle a bet between
me and Cleveland.

35
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,398
Is the Little Mermaid black?

36
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,442
I don't know about that,
but I'm a Navy SEAL,

37
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:52,029
so I'm legally required
to inform you that I killed bin Laden.

38
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,781
If that's true,
what's his first name?

39
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,366
Osama.

40
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,993
This guy's the real deal.

41
00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,703
Do you think whales
ate him by now?

42
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,455
Actually, based on where
we dumped him

43
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:05,334
and the way the ocean historically moves,
he could be near Quahog.

44
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:06,752
Wait a minute. Guys,

45
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,754
if we got a boat and found bin Laden,

46
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,297
we could charge
people five bucks

47
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,549
-to kick him in the balls.
-Or the butt.

48
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:13,759
Yeah, sure. Balls or butt.

49
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:14,843
-Who's in?
-In.

50
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:15,927
-In.
-In.

51
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:17,512
Thank you for your service.

52
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:18,680
Oh, I'm not a sailor.

53
00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,724
I'm just a Brazilian guy
in my everyday clothes.

54
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,602
Oh. Then thank you
for your outside dancing.

55
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,604
It's nothing.
I'll see you outside.

56
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,606
Samba, samba, samba.

57
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:36,490
Hey, Brian, are vegans known for like
always talking about being vegans?

58
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,033
Uh, yeah, I guess.

59
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,035
[chuckles] Click on that.

60
00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,164
This makes zero sense.

61
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:47,000
No, because vegans are always, like,
telling you they're vegan, right?

62
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:48,085
Okay.

63
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:51,505
And see, it says "nobody"
because, like, nobody asked, right?

64
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:54,091
But this guy, our protagonist,
he doesn't care.

65
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,967
No, no, he doesn't care
about the nobody.

66
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:58,595
He's just gonna jump on
in there and give you his two bits.

67
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,305
But like nobody asked, right?

68
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:01,932
That's why it says
"nobody" up top.

69
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,183
Isn't that hilarious?

70
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,393
Yeah, I'm trying to work.

71
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,019
Yeah, I should get
back to work, too.

72
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,813
Forwarding memes isn't work.

73
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,356
Well, the Internet
begs to differ.

74
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,525
I'm getting a lot of likes
on my posts.

75
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:12,609
They're not your posts.

76
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,944
You're not doing
anything original.

77
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,780
Says the guy writing a script
called Barbie 3.

78
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,282
Yeah, because somebody's
probably already doing Barbie 2.

79
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,284
Yeah, I think we're doing
the same level of original.

80
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,203
[laughs] Look at this one.

81
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:28,792
It... It's based on the game,

82
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,043
"Rock, paper, scissors."

83
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:33,338
That's why it's funny.
But this baby, like, I'm already laughing.

84
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:34,423
Can you even?

85
00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,967
-[sighs] So this was your idea?
-No.

86
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,510
-But you found the pictures?
-No.

87
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,095
Well, you must have
come up with the text.

88
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:42,514
No, but I knew
the perfect time to hit send.

89
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:43,640
That's what it's all about.

90
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:44,724
You didn't do anything.

91
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,059
No, no, Brian, it's like this.

92
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,395
The meme is the plane
and I'm the pilot, right?

93
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,397
So sometimes the plane
goes on autopilot.

94
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,983
But I'm still at the controls
drinking Diet Cokes.

95
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,152
So you're the autopilot
of comedy?

96
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:59,114
I get you from not laughing Rhode Island
to laughing Rhode Island.

97
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:02,200
It takes one hour drive
diagonally across the entire state.

98
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:03,743
Oh, I should have said Texas.

99
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:09,624
You know, Lois said
it's stupid to look for bin Laden's corpse

100
00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,501
because a drunk guy
at a bar said to.

101
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,837
-But look at us!
-I'm getting kind of hungry.

102
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,297
What'd you bring
for eats, Peter?

103
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,174
Wheat Thins
and Costco muffins.

104
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,300
That's all guys need.

105
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:21,219
-Peter, that is a home run.
-Out of the park.

106
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:23,430
I was smiling as soon
as you said it.

107
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,640
Lois looked sad when
she saw the food.

108
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,559
No, it's good food.
You did really good.

109
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:30,937
-Wives just want us to do what they want.
-Say less, King.

110
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,690
You know, it's so easy and fun
with you guys out here.

111
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,276
Sometimes I wish the world
was just guys.

112
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,278
[all scream]

113
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,157
Oh, my God! We've been
struck by lightning!

114
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,284
I think I possibly took
the brunt of it.

115
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,995
[all screaming]

116
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,047
[all gasping]

117
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,507
Oh, my God! The boat!

118
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,509
Yeah, we might be out here for a while,

119
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:03,053
so someone needs
to carry the conversation.

120
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:07,182
Did you guys know that
Triscuit is short for electric biscuit?

121
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:10,143
Also, there are no raccoons
in Alaska.

122
00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:13,355
Let's just all drown quietly
to ourselves.

123
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,036
[groaning]

124
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:34,251
I'll start.

125
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,044
Joe was a true friend.

126
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,671
I'm gonna miss him so much.

127
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:40,340
And we should probably start
sorting out who's going after Bonnie.

128
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,008
Nice try, wisenheimers.

129
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,802
Joe! How'd you make it in?

130
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,971
My chair floats.
How about you guys?

131
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,056
We clung to old graduation balloons

132
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:50,058
and one turtle
who was caught in the ribbon.

133
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,060
A little help with the ribbon?

134
00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:55,480
We're not supposed to touch you,
because then your mom won't take you back.

135
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:58,233
My mom died before
America was formed.

136
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,193
Oh, yeah. You guys live
a long time, huh?

137
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:03,154
Yeah, I was in
the turtle brigade in the Civil War.

138
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:04,990
-Which side?
-Don't ask which side.

139
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,660
Does anybody's phone work?

140
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:09,744
-Nah.
-Nope.

141
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,037
Negative.

142
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,998
We need to find shelter
for the night.

143
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,294
Oh, my God! A house!

144
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,009
Whoa!

145
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:27,721
It looks like
a villain's lair.

146
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:31,224
Yeah, it's like RoboCop's beach house
from the '80s future.

147
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:34,102
Word of caution. If you run
around in socks in this place,

148
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,896
you are definitely slipping,
my friends.

149
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,731
I'm zonked.
I'm gonna crash.

150
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,816
Yeah, me too.
I call the master bedroom.

151
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,277
It's called
a primary bedroom now.

152
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,572
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'll be in the bedroom primary-bating.

153
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:53,455
Good evening. I'm Tom Tucker. Coming up,
one side of a local news station,

154
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,040
falling into a sinkhole.

155
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:59,169
But first, wreckage from a Quahog boat
was just spotted a few miles off the coast

156
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,713
of famous gay party spot,
Fire Island.

157
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:04,341
[gasps] I wonder if that's
Peter's boat!

158
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,134
Damn! Right to voicemail.

159
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,386
[voicemail] Hey, this is Pete.
Single and ready to mingle.

160
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,721
-[beeps]
-[sighs]

161
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,725
[panting]

162
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,645
There we go. That ought
to break someone's ankle this summer.

163
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:20,273
Dogs and holes.
Name a more iconic duo. I'll wait.

164
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:21,816
-What?
-No, I'm just saying.

165
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:22,901
This is a mood.

166
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,986
How is this a mood?
Elaborate.

167
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,280
No, I'm just saying
I was today years old

168
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,366
when I learned dogs
are vindictive.

169
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,575
Why are you talking like that?

170
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:32,035
I'm in my meme phase, Brian.

171
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,828
When I can't see them,
I talk like them.

172
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:36,581
My man talks
like a Internet now.

173
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:37,832
Well, stop it. It's stupid.

174
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,251
Cranky writer upset
at friends' fun.

175
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:43,254
Didn't have that
on my 2026 bingo card.

176
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:46,257
Bingo card is so good!
[laughs]

177
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,385
What-- What-- What bingo card?
Show me the card.

178
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,179
Well, it's more
about what's not on the bingo card, so...

179
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:53,973
Yeah, it's what's
not on there, Brian.

180
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:57,644
Also, don't bingo cards
just have numbers and not entire phrases?

181
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,021
Yeah, you kind of...
you kind of have to be funny to get it.

182
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,815
All right, I'm going in.
You're making no sense.

183
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:04,651
I think what you mean to say is
"The math ain't mathing.

184
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,277
Period. Full stop."

185
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,196
Yeah, you don't have
to say full stop.

186
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,198
That's...
that's what a period is.

187
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,242
Yo, we talking about periods?

188
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:20,583
Let me let you in on a little
toothbrushing secret. Crest.

189
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,252
How is Crest a secret?

190
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,628
Shh.

191
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,214
This was all there was
in the closet.

192
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,716
Yeah, same here.
Do we look chic?

193
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:28,800
What's chic?

194
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:32,220
O-M-G! Look at all
us chic ass boys.

195
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,055
I'll check on our phones.

196
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,018
Still nothing.
I can't believe this.

197
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,812
Wait. Do you hear that?

198
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,230
[♪ house music playing distantly]

199
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,486
These must be
the island natives.

200
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:52,323
They clearly have a proud culture
of music, dance and flavored vodka.

201
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,409
Wow. Everybody's just
doing what they like.

202
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,995
Those hefty bearded guys
are watching the Mets game.

203
00:08:57,078 --> 00:09:00,540
And those shiny little jacked guys
are playing underwear volleyball.

204
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:03,960
Yeah. Everybody else is drinking,
dancing and horsing off in the pool.

205
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,838
Is it possible this is Kokomo?

206
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,465
It's checking too many boxes.

207
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,175
[gasps] Wait, don't you see?

208
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,927
On the boat, I wished for
a world that was just guys.

209
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,554
And then we got struck
by lightning.

210
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,515
I manifested this place
into existence.

211
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,142
Come on. We gotta fit in
with the locals.

212
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:22,896
Hi, I'm Peter.

213
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:25,774
Our boat crashed here,
and we slept in a future house

214
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:27,734
with black toilets
and white couches.

215
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,570
Julian. We all get to
the island in our own way.

216
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,530
But you're here
and you belong.

217
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:33,948
Are there any women
on the island?

218
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:37,452
Just one. Her name is Molly,
and she sits in your mouth.

219
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,496
Say "Hello, Molly."

220
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,705
Hello, Molly.

221
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,795
My God, it feels like Christmas morning.

222
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:49,464
On Fire Island,
every day is Christmas.

223
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:54,385
♪ Spike the drinks
with pills of Molly ♪

224
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,805
♪ Fa la la la la
la Bowen Yang ♪

225
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,057
♪ Midler, Bette,
and Parton, Dolly ♪

226
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,476
♪ Fa la la la la
la Bowen Yang ♪

227
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,062
♪ Don we now
our gay apparel ♪

228
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,980
♪ Fa la la la la la
Bowen Yang ♪

229
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:08,942
♪ Might just roofie
Colin Farrell ♪

230
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:12,487
♪ Fa la la la la
la Bowen Yang ♪

231
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:15,031
♪ With the ladies
we don't bother ♪

232
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,408
♪ Fa la la la la
Bowen Yang ♪

233
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:19,911
♪ Give us Dua Lipa's father ♪

234
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:22,122
♪ Fa la la la la
la Bowen Yang ♪

235
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,749
♪ Bravo is our only cable ♪

236
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:27,043
♪ Fa la la la la la
Bowen Yang ♪

237
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,337
♪ Eight mimosas
for the table ♪

238
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:34,425
[all] ♪ Fa la la la la
la Bowen Yang ♪

239
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:35,844
And Pete Buttigieg.

240
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:42,142
Hey, Stewie.
Wh-- What is all this?

241
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:45,353
My memes have been getting
so much attention that I got a book deal.

242
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:48,398
What? You just forward
other people's pictures and words.

243
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:52,485
Yes. The biggest reward for winning
new media is getting to do old media.

244
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,237
Drake meme here.

245
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,322
Boston cop slide meme here.

246
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:59,075
Willy Wonka here.
Kermit sipping tea here.

247
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,827
This is ridiculous!
You're not an author.

248
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,871
Yeah, that's not what
HarperCollins thinks.

249
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:03,955
[notification dings]

250
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:07,000
Either Harper or Collins
just sent a clip from my audio book.

251
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,794
We used Morgan.
Don't you just love Morgan?

252
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,171
[Morgan Freeman] Chapter two.

253
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:14,007
We see Will Ferrell
with a mustache.

254
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:17,510
The caption reads,
"Me shopping with my wife."

255
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:20,180
It looks to me
like he'd rather be anywhere else.

256
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:26,436
What a day. Riding bikes in town,

257
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,063
being so loud at restaurants
that people leave,

258
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:31,316
sending food back
before we even saw it.

259
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,692
Thanks for taking us in.

260
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,862
Of course!
We're a community here.

261
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:38,489
Everyone pulls weight
and helps in their own way.

262
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:41,367
A lot of us don't feel
supported in our regular lives.

263
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,869
That's exactly how I feel.

264
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,539
-[phone ringing]
-[gasps]

265
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:47,624
My phone works!

266
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,918
Peter! You're alive!

267
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:53,421
Not only alive, I'm thriving
on a magic island I wished for.

268
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:54,797
And it's just guys
who are nice.

269
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,383
I want you to meet Timothy,
Michael and Robert.

270
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,719
Hi, Tim, Mike and Rob.

271
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:02,263
No. For some reason,
we only use full names here.

272
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:03,890
It's like the only thing
we get mad about.

273
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,892
You're on Fire Island, Peter.

274
00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:09,479
It's just a place for Wall Street guys
and regional weathermen to be gay.

275
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,772
Lois, you're embarrassing me.

276
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,440
None of these guys' wives
are calling them.

277
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,901
Peter, enough.
You need to come home.

278
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,194
No, it's too fun here.

279
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:19,072
When dessert comes out,
we say we'll only have a bite,

280
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,490
but we have more than a bite.

281
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,408
Then we call Chef Mario
a devil.

282
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:25,203
You know what happens
when you tell our secrets, Peter.

283
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,205
Don't do it!
Don't do it, Timothy!

284
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,374
I'm gonna tickle you!

285
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,000
[both laughing]

286
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:34,671
I'm starting to think
Chef Mario's not the devil.

287
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,881
You are, Timothy!
[laughs]

288
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,549
Peter's having a great time.

289
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,511
He's definitely not
being tickled too much. [laughs]

290
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,013
I'm alive, I'm fine,
and I'm staying.

291
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,932
Gotta go, Lois.
I'm driving. Bye!

292
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,309
Dad's safe.

293
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,061
He's on Fire Island.

294
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,194
We haven't paid
for anything yet.

295
00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,445
Can we chip in for brunch?

296
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:03,491
Robert is tallying the weekend
costs so you can settle up all at once.

297
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:04,742
Oh, okay.

298
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,870
-Five thousand each should do it.
-[all gasp]

299
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:10,248
I-- I'm sorry. $5,000?

300
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:11,582
I didn't even have a bed.

301
00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:14,085
Yeah! Slobs sleep on couches.

302
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,461
[gasps, exclaims]

303
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,255
You guys owe 5,000, too?

304
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:20,133
No, I'm hot,
so I don't have to pay.

305
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:23,136
I thought this was a community
where everyone takes care of each other.

306
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,846
Yeah, uggos pay for hotties.

307
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,431
Why should hot people pay?

308
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:27,515
That's gross.

309
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:29,600
Do you not have $5,000?

310
00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,311
-No!
-Why?

311
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:32,770
Because I have a wife.

312
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,022
[all] Ew!

313
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:36,983
Perhaps there's another way
we can pay.

314
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:40,111
Well, my house does
need a new roof.

315
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,113
Perhaps something else?

316
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:46,534
Okay, I cut our debt in half, but
we got to get the hell off this island.

317
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,501
I hope you have
an escape plan, Peter.

318
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,795
Don't worry.
We just got to think outside the box.

319
00:13:57,879 --> 00:14:00,423
That's how those guys came up
with the log flume ride.

320
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:04,469
All right, Madsen, I need a new idea
for a ride or you're fired.

321
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:08,639
Got it. Have you ever taken a bath
and wished you were going slowly uphill?

322
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:10,016
I think everyone has.

323
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:12,268
And you know how people love
to get soaking wet

324
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,729
and then not be able
to go home for five hours?

325
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,272
-Yeah.
-And don't you think

326
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:19,442
the second word in a ride should be a word
you've never heard before

327
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:20,860
in any other context?

328
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,612
Maybe. What's the word?

329
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:23,863
Flume.

330
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,865
Madsen, we're gonna be rich.

331
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,287
Thank you all for coming.

332
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,915
Sorry you had to watch me
whisper-fight my publicist

333
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,291
for getting the wrong tea.

334
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,043
[whispering loudly]
Too late, Tiffany!

335
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,503
All right, chapter one.

336
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:40,588
So, women take a long time
to get ready.

337
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,715
But this guy takes it
way further.

338
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,717
This skeleton,
who starts presumably

339
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:47,720
as a regular human guy,
thinks his wife is almost ready.

340
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:51,474
Cut to him being a skeleton
and all of us laughing.

341
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,851
I love how he called the guy
a human guy.

342
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:55,895
Very quirky. Very funny.

343
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,688
[slow clapping]

344
00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:00,191
This isn't clever.
And it's not comedy.

345
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,568
Brian, this is comedy now.

346
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:06,155
No, it's a shortcut for people
who aren't actually funny to seem funny.

347
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:09,408
Well, I like to think I'm capturing
a relatable feeling and sharing it with--

348
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:13,746
You forward reheated sound-bite leftovers
to idiots doing the same thing!

349
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:14,831
You're all idiots!

350
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,916
Congrats on your
stolen comedy valor.

351
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,211
Uh, sir? This is a Wendy's.

352
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:23,256
-[all laughing]
-That's from online.

353
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,674
[growling]

354
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,346
And this guy's done adulting.

355
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:31,472
[all laughing]

356
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,641
So good! So good.

357
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:42,525
Okay, so the plan is
when they use the blender, we move.

358
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,903
[♪ dramatic music playing]

359
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,164
Put on these rollerblades.

360
00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:57,707
The next blender,
we're through the gate.

361
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,173
Those freeloaders
are getting away!

362
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,021
Beach gays, activate!

363
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:25,401
[grunts]

364
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,533
[grunts, exclaims] My blades!

365
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,292
Eh.

366
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,002
Ow.

367
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:47,882
[ferry horn blowing]

368
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,508
Let's try to catch that ferry.

369
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,802
Weren't you trying
to get away from us?

370
00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:54,388
[laughs]
Julian, I meant the boat.

371
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:55,932
Sorry, I'm twisted.

372
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,644
YMCA occupation gays,
activate!

373
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,697
[screams]

374
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,325
-[both groan]
-Peter, the deer!

375
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,332
I already got bit by ticks.

376
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,002
[ferry horn blowing]

377
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,297
That's the last ferry
of the day!

378
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,632
It's too far.

379
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:33,219
Wait, Peter, do you still have
that cocaine locket that Julian gave you?

380
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:36,472
Yeah, but I wanted to save it
for a special night with my family.

381
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,682
Peter!

382
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,517
[sniffs]

383
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:47,817
[all screaming]

384
00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:53,406
Oh, my God! We made it!

385
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,909
-[ferry horn blowing]
-Bye! Have a fun trip.

386
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,119
Aren't you mad at us?

387
00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,746
We're guys.
We get over stuff fast.

388
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,124
Come back next summer
for our PJ party.

389
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,625
We'll bring our families.

390
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:06,210
No, don't!

391
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:07,295
Don't bring them!

392
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:11,591
[Brian] Morning, Stewie.

393
00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:12,717
[switch flicks]

394
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,596
[grunts] What is this?
What are you doing?

395
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:21,100
Well, I can't get you to stop doing memes,
so this exorcism will rid you of them.

396
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:25,646
I won't recycle images
from The Office and add my own text to it.

397
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,897
I won't recycle--

398
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:29,191
Oh, Bri,
you sweet summer child.

399
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:30,401
This isn't going to work.

400
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,570
We have other ways.

401
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,656
Chris? But I thought
you were on my side.

402
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,950
Well, I'm Gen Z
and loyal to no one.

403
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:40,745
Bet you didn't have that
on your bingo card.

404
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:44,040
-[winces] What is that?
-You're getting a loboto-meme.

405
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,542
When I flip the switch,
all memes will rush

406
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,878
into your brain
and explode out of you.

407
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,087
No, please!

408
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:51,922
[groaning]

409
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:55,259
It's working!

410
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,970
[in distorted voice]
First world problems.

411
00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,096
Cringe.

412
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,474
Weird flex, but okay.

413
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:03,017
[screams]

414
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,233
Stewie, can you talk
as yourself?

415
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,861
Am I... am I doing it?

416
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,613
Oh, thank God! You're back.

417
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,990
I wonder where
all those memes went.

418
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,955
[bland uncle] And this is why
we can't have nice things.

419
00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:28,417
[bland aunt laughs]
Where do you come up with this stuff?

420
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,630
Home again, home again,
giggity-gig.

421
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,758
Peter, I'm so happy
you're home.

422
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,760
Oh, Lois, I'm so sorry.

423
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:42,098
I guess I learned that both men and women
are pretty bitchy when money is involved.

424
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,808
Tha-- That's what you learned?

425
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:47,269
And that I'd rather get yelled at
by a woman than get yelled at by a guy.

426
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,397
Oh, a thousand percent.
It's safer.

427
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,816
I love you, Lois.

428
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,360
Oh, Peter, I love you, too.

429
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,653
I'm glad you're home.

430
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:00,783
I thought you'd
be more mad at me.

431
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:04,245
Oh, I could be mad and have
a dozen unopened jars

432
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:08,207
or forgive you, have you open
the jars and start my soup.

433
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,834
Start with the big Rao's one.

434
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:13,587
I will, Lois. Even though
that one always hurts my hand.

435
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:16,632
I'm just so happy to be back
in a world with women.

436
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,885
Good, because I had
the craziest dream last night,

437
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:22,138
and I'm gonna tell you
all about it.

438
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,681
Okay. So follow me here.

439
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:24,932
It's complicated.

440
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,144
Here's $5,000. I want back in.

441
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:38,070
Sorry, Stewie. I just need to make sure
all that meme nonsense is done.

442
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,238
[notification dings]

443
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:46,245
See, he's smirking because he's
so proud of himself for ordering a pizza.

444
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:47,371
Funny, right?

445
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:48,914
No, not... not funny
or clever.

446
00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:50,750
[sighs]
Good to have you back, buddy.

447
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:53,627
Said no one.

448
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,466
It's funny because it's just
like ordering a pizza.

449
00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:00,509
That expression
is certainly too big

450
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:03,345
for just ordering
food to a place you usually wouldn't.

451
00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:05,973
[♪ closing theme music playing]