1
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[♪ theme music playing]
2
00:00:02,085 --> 00:00:05,005
♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
3
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♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
4
00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:11,595
♪ But where are those
Good old-fashioned values ♪
5
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[all] ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man who
Positively can do ♪
8
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry! ♪
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{\an8}[all] ♪ He's a family guy! ♪
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{\an8}[♪ whimsical music playing]
12
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{\an8}[kids chattering]
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{\an8}[♪ eerie sting plays]
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{\an8}Hell of a costume, Peter.
15
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{\an8}You don't think I can get away with it?
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{\an8}When this was written? No.
17
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{\an8}When it airs? Probably.
18
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{\an8}Ah, I'm not gonna chance it.
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{\an8}[female voice] Happy Halloween, Peter!
20
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{\an8}Oh, but when she does it, it's fine!
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{\an8}My culture is not your costume!
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Happy Halloween, fellas!
23
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What are you supposed to be?
24
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Who's Kittredge?
25
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Seriously? Beau Kittredge?
26
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{\an8}Six club titles,
27
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{\an8}seven world titles,
28
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{\an8}five AUDL titles,
29
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{\an8}and was the AUDL MVP twice!
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{\an8}He's the Michael Jordan of Ultimate!
31
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{\an8}Ultimate what?
32
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{\an8}"Ultimate what"? Ultimate Frisbee!
33
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{\an8}Then say that!
34
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{\an8}[laughing] Whoo!
35
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{\an8}Beau Kittredge, second-best
Ultimate player next to Jimmy Mickle.
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{\an8}Joe, I am this close
to absolutely freaking losing it.
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{\an8}Who are you supposed to be?
38
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{\an8}Really?
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{\an8}Guy Berryman.
40
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{\an8}The bassist from Coldplay?
41
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{\an8}Joe, nobody knows
who the bassist from Coldplay is.
42
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{\an8}Is that so?
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{\an8}Why don't you say that to men
experiencing reduced testicle size
44
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{\an8}due to middle-aged testosterone loss?
45
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{\an8}Whoa! Guy Berryman! Nice!
46
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{\an8}Thanks.
47
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{\an8}And, uh, sorry about your balls.
48
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{\an8}I can't believe I have to spend
Halloween with these idiots.
49
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:48,984
{\an8}- [cell phone chimes]
- [gasps]
50
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{\an8}Oh, my God! Brian! We're saved.
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{\an8}A guest and I are invited
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{\an8}to the Block Island Ferry Halloween
Masquerade Ball!
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{\an8}Are you dying? I'm dead.
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{\an8}I don't know. That's pretty far away.
55
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{\an8}It's always the party of the year.
56
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{\an8}Eddie Redmayne might be going.
57
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,416
{\an8}Why would Eddie Redmayne be going?
58
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{\an8}He might be going.
59
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{\an8}Plus, every hot socialite will be there.
60
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{\an8}It's a who's who of women
who have plowed through cafés in G-Wagons.
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{\an8}Oh, damn, socialites?
62
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{\an8}Could be a good content collab sesh.
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{\an8}Get the brand out there. I'm in.
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{\an8}Now I almost don't want to take you.
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{\an8}How do you get invited to this stuff?
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Because I'm a little pickleball slut, Bri.
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Trust me, this will be
the biggest social event
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since Diddy's white party.
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- [♪ upbeat music playing]
- [indistinct chatter]
70
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Oh, my God,
I can't believe I wore eggshell.
71
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This is so embarrassing.
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Eh, probably no one will remember.
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There's kind of a lot
of other stuff going on.
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[camera shutter clicks]
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[sobbing] ...and then I remember
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walking past a baby
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dressed in eggshell instead of white.
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[crying]
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[crowd murmuring]
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[bangs gavel] Order! Order!
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You ruined my daughter's picture!
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[grunts, straining]
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[♪ whimsical music playing]
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{\an8}What exactly are our costumes again?
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{\an8}You're one of the guys
railing Nicole Kidman,
86
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{\an8}and I'm Tom Cruise watching
from the balcony,
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{\an8}but I'm all like,
"Oh, I was gonna do that."
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- [water splashes]
- [man] Help!
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I can't swim!
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Oh, my God!
We're coming to get you, buddy!
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[ferry announcer] Last call
for the Block Island Ferry
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Halloween Masquerade Ball.
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Once we jump in, there's no way
we're gonna make it to that party.
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I was just thinking that, but...
95
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- I mean, we have to--
- Yeah, you're right. We gotta save him.
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Even if the tuxes get wet.
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What does that have to do with it?
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Well, that Mr. Tux was not thriving.
99
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I don't think they survive
two water-damaged suits.
100
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So, if we save the man,
we're killing a business.
101
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But we clearly have to save him.
102
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No, yes, of course.
We just have to make peace
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with the Mr. Tux of it all.
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Please! I can't make it much longer!
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Yeah, we got you.
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We're not the type of guys
who'd let a man drown. Come on!
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[ferry announcer] And a special
Block Island Ferry welcome
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to Eddie Redmayne, who is definitely here.
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Help!
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[gasping]
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We save him now,
he's likely got brain damage.
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His poor family's burden for life.
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His poor family, Bri.
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- My jeans are getting very heavy!
- We're talking!
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Seriously, Stewie? I'm saving him!
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- [gasps]
- [water bubbling]
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[ferry announcer] And another
Block Island Ferry welcome
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to the fringe members of the new cast
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of Socialites with Low Self-Esteem!
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This guy's a vegetable. Let's go.
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[tires screech]
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[socialite 1] Tinsley?
I think you hit something.
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[socialite 2] Shut up,
also Tinsley, you bitch!
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[♪ ominous music playing]
125
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What happened? Where are we?
126
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I remember that SUV hitting us.
127
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Hey, buddy? Are... are we dead?
128
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Oh, wow, yeah. We're dead?
129
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No, I'm asking you if we're dead.
130
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What's the last thing you remember?
131
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Uh, having ice cream,
then driving my family off a cliff.
132
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Yeah. Wow.
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[screams]
134
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I think it's good
we're not going where he's going.
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[Stewie screams]
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[Brian screams]
137
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[♪ ominous music continues]
138
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[♪ soft music playing over intercom]
139
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What is this place?
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- [door opens]
- [distant screaming]
141
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[door clanks shut]
142
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[♪ ethereal harp music playing]
143
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It appears we're in some sort
of afterlife waiting room.
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We... We're going to Heaven, right?
145
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I think so. We had a speed bump
with that drowning guy,
146
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- but it's the whol--
- The whole life, yeah. It's gotta be.
147
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Guy in a Boy Scout uniform,
could go either way.
148
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[Stewie] Beady-eyed
gymnastics doctor, same.
149
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- [♪ harp music playing]
- Stewie and Brian?
150
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Right this way.
151
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- Phew.
- Seventy-two virgins coming my way!
152
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Isn't that an extremist Muslim thing?
153
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I kinda cherry-pick
the virgin stuff from all religions.
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[♪ ethereal music playing]
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[♪ music turns menacing]
156
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Welcome to Hell.
157
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[both gasp]
158
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Did they bring you in
through the Heaven door?
159
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[chuckles] I love when they do that.
160
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Aw! We're in Hell?
161
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Yep. The very one.
162
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Hades. The "Hotel California."
163
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Isn't that right, Glenn Frey?
164
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It's true. I'm here 'cause I screwed
Don Felder out of a lot of money.
165
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- Who's Don Felder?
- Exactly!
166
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- And who are you?
- Ouch.
167
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[♪ sinister music playing]
168
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- [demons shrieking]
- [people screaming]
169
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There must be some mistake.
We don't belong in Hell.
170
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,803
Yeah, seems like a pretty stiff punishment
for letting one guy drown.
171
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,221
Oh, sure, yeah. Hey, no problem.
172
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I'll just, uh, check your file real quick,
see if you belong here.
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[snaps fingers]
174
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:36,146
[scatting] Oh, says you, uh,
drugged and framed your babysitter?
175
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,898
Oh, that was like Season 4!
176
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:40,650
Right, okay. I guess old doesn't count...
177
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[clears throat] ...to you.
178
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Okay, let's see.
179
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Ooh, uh, you also tried to drown Chris
because your teddy bear was his first.
180
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,034
Remember that? I sure do.
181
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One could say I saved Chris from drowning.
182
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You're constantly trying
to kill your mother, yeah?
183
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,874
That's actually written down here.
184
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What's it like to hear that?
185
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That's for the fans, baby!
186
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,296
Oh, for the fans, yeah.
I think they're... they're over that one.
187
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:04,924
Um, you once left an overdosing
Mother Teresa to die, didn't you?
188
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,594
Hey, you wanna sing and dance,
you gotta pay the band, baby!
189
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:10,764
You punctuated two sentences
in a row with "baby."
190
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,265
Yes, I instantly regretted that.
191
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:13,433
Are you gonna do Brian?
192
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:14,851
Oh, Brian? Yeah, sure.
193
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,562
Uh, let's see, Brian, Brian...
194
00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:20,190
You abandoned your wife
because she had cancer.
195
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,650
Wow! What?
196
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,902
That's not true.
It was after she beat cancer.
197
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,029
After she gained a little weight, maybe?
198
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,947
Uh, it was a lot of weight.
199
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,407
[splutters] Maybe put that in the file.
200
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:31,785
Ah, okay. Good suggestion. Noted.
201
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,704
You both beat a man to death
with a bat on Christmas Eve.
202
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,873
Oh, you're making it sound
worse than it was.
203
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,208
And Brian,
204
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,794
remember how you pissed everyone off
in that episode where you died?
205
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,295
People got tattoos of you, man.
206
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,673
What? Maybe some losers did.
207
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,174
Hey, buddy?
208
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,093
[♪ intriguing sting plays]
209
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,469
Well, I'll be damned.
210
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:50,679
Yeah, me too.
211
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,097
Ha! Nice!
212
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,890
You guys definitely belong here.
213
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:57,977
All right, let me show you
to your eternal Hell stations.
214
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,188
All right.
215
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,649
This elevator takes us
to the various depths,
216
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,317
or circles of Hell,
217
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,611
as Dante referred to them
in Dante's Inferno.
218
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:07,904
Oh, love Dante.
219
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,864
Every stanza. Great stanzas.
220
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,700
Dante Cos-stanza, should be.
221
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:13,326
Ugh, is this guy serious?
222
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,578
- Yeah, welcome to my Hell, buddy.
- [elevator rumbles]
223
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:16,913
[snarling]
224
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,665
- [♪ menacing sting plays]
- [both gasp]
225
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:21,501
[growls] Beelzebub, et cetera.
226
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,628
Sorry, I'll catch the next one.
227
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:24,754
[distant screaming]
228
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:25,922
What is going on here?
229
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,674
Oh, we're, uh, doing an orientation
230
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,343
for people who are still alive
but definitely heading here soon.
231
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:33,221
- [screaming]
- [demons cackling]
232
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,181
Oh, my God, is that Jamie Lee Curtis?
233
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,392
Why would she come here?
She did a bunch of good stuff.
234
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:40,103
Yeah, but it's getting a bit much, right?
235
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,396
- Lately?
- Well, I mean...
236
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:42,814
[laughs] Am I wrong?
237
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,524
Is it not getting a bit much?
238
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:45,775
I'll make you a deal.
239
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,944
You look me in the eye
and tell me, in all honesty,
240
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,864
that she is not getting
a bit much and we will let her go.
241
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:53,742
I...
242
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:54,951
I... I can't do that.
243
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,912
Hey, are there any other celebrities
down here that would surprise us?
244
00:08:57,996 --> 00:08:59,831
Uh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I got a great one.
245
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:01,666
[elevator dings]
246
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:02,959
Recognize this guy?
247
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,295
Is that Jimmy Carter?
What is he doing here?
248
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,630
I had pie for breakfast once.
249
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:10,759
- Jimmy.
- I maybe said "crap" a few times.
250
00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,093
James Carter?
251
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:15,013
I built a house for every whore I banged.
252
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,347
There it is.
253
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:19,100
Oh, real quick. Uh, I wanted
to show you the circle
254
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:22,103
for people who share
Disney+ passwords with family and friends.
255
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,939
[gasps] There should be
a Super Hell for them.
256
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,149
[electricity crackling]
257
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,859
[♪ Disney+ launch tune playing]
258
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,820
I just don't get why they'd do that.
It's such a fair price.
259
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,573
And think of all that content
on Disney+ and Hulu.
260
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:36,576
Original shows and movies
with new titles added daily.
261
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:37,952
And live sports.
262
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,704
Yeah, they got something for everyone.
263
00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:43,208
Plus, name another streamer
with this level of Hulu-larity!
264
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,584
Wow, Peter, what are you doing here?
265
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:48,213
In real life, I'm choking on
a Now and Later that I refused to chew.
266
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:49,506
People think I'm gonna die.
267
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,633
- Why didn't you chew it?
- Dared myself.
268
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,009
Oh, looks like I got it down.
269
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,344
I'm not gonna learn a lesson.
270
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,595
Bye, guys!
271
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:58,598
- [♪ eerie music playing]
- [elevator shrieking]
272
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,893
Hey, has there ever been someone
who gets stuck in purgatory forever?
273
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:03,269
Yeah, Stephen Hawking.
274
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,188
Wow, really? Was he secretly bad?
275
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,564
Mm, no, no.
276
00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:09,275
Uh, Heaven's just weirdly
not ADA-compliant,
277
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,069
and, uh, he didn't want to come here.
278
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:15,240
Did I ever tell you that my wife, Eleanor,
was a closeted lesbian?
279
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:19,536
[Stephen Hawking] Yes, Franklin,
I remember yesterday's conversation.
280
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,413
My brain isn't in a wheelchair.
281
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:26,543
Here we are. Brian, this is
your custom-tailored version of Hell.
282
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,669
Oh, doesn't seem so bad--
283
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,254
- [loud popping]
- [yelping]
284
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,505
What was that? What was that?
285
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,632
- Your Hell is July 4th.
- Aw.
286
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,634
♪ Cuatro de julio ♪
287
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,678
♪ Cuatro de julio ♪
288
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,096
In a Latino neighborhood.
289
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,222
Aw!
290
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,015
And the Dodgers just won!
291
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,642
- ♪ Cuatro de julio ♪
- [Brian yelling]
292
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,519
- ♪ Cuatro de julio ♪
- [firecrackers popping]
293
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,354
[Brian continues yelling]
294
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:47,438
♪ Cuatro de julio... ♪
295
00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:50,400
[giggling] You know what?
I'm not minding this.
296
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,902
I'm gonna run over
to Starbucks real quick.
297
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,238
Oh, this looks so fun!
298
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,573
What's good here?
299
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,825
"What's good"? You're not at a steakhouse.
300
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,827
Oh, wow, you have syrups?
301
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,203
How does she not know this?
302
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,956
Dear, if you allow me
to go in front, I'll buy your coffee.
303
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,416
Can I try a sample?
304
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,001
Oh, my God.
305
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,752
- [grumbling]
- [cash register dings]
306
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:10,837
Finally!
307
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,423
So, I'm ordering for everybody at work.
308
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:15,925
[snarls]
309
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,052
Oh, wait. This is my Hell, isn't it?
310
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:20,054
Oh, clever. Very clever.
311
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,557
Venti mocha for Georgia and--
312
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,892
Uh... [chuckles]
313
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,727
Sylvie forgot to write hers down.
314
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,061
I'll just call her.
315
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:30,190
Unbelievable. Why are you ordering
for everyone at work, anyway?
316
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:32,483
We're having a party
'cause the Dodgers won.
317
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,360
- ♪ Cuatro de julio ♪
- [yelling]
318
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:35,445
- ♪ Cuatro de julio ♪
- [yelps]
319
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,197
I'm starting to see
how that could bug a guy.
320
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,032
All right, I have, uh,
321
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,909
- stacks of paperwork waiting for me.
- [shouts]
322
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:42,368
I'll leave you guys to get uncomfortable.
323
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:43,828
Hey, I think we've had enough for today.
324
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,330
We're ready to go to our rooms.
325
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,498
Oh, there are no rooms, no.
There's just, uh,
326
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,626
cots in the Superdome. Bye!
327
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,002
[♪ jaunty music playing]
328
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:54,214
- [♪ music distorts]
- [flies buzzing]
329
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,507
All right, not ideal, but could be worse.
330
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,718
- What's that?
- The Saints just won!
331
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:02,347
[♪ upbeat band music playing,
"When the Saints Go Marching In"]
332
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:03,681
This is terrible.
333
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,601
Yeah, but the NFC South
is kinda ours for the taking now.
334
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:08,102
Where are the bathrooms?
335
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:12,440
Oh, there are no bathrooms,
but we can use any box we find.
336
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:17,946
The KFC $5 boxes are the perfect size,
but they go pretty quick.
337
00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:19,864
[demons shrieking, snarling]
338
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,032
[♪ ominous music playing]
339
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,201
- [flies buzzing]
- [vultures cawing]
340
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:26,746
Hey! Flint water!
Get your Flint, Michigan water here!
341
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:27,956
Flint water!
342
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,415
Ugh. This sucks.
343
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,918
It does suck.
We deserve better, right, guys?
344
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,962
Well, it's not in my nature to complain.
345
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,588
You see, I was a priest.
346
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,382
Okay, I don't want to hear the rest.
347
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:39,509
No, no, no. I cheated on my taxes.
348
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,593
Oh, that's not that bad.
349
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,930
Yeah, I'm not a sicko.
The children I molested were girls.
350
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,390
Yeah, let's move past that guy.
351
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:47,517
How about you, Victorian guy?
What did you do?
352
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,937
I stared longingly
at a married woman's wrists.
353
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,438
That's not even illegal anymore!
354
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:53,982
I'm also Jack the Ripper.
355
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,108
Okay, blowing by that.
356
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,235
You, lady with crazy eyes,
what did you do?
357
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,862
I'm Catholic and I ate meat on a Friday.
358
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,239
Pfft, you don't belong here.
359
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,866
I also strangled
19 nursing students to death.
360
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,953
Okay, everybody?
Let's just say the second thing, okay?
361
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,871
Hell doesn't have to be this bad!
362
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:12,792
Yes, there's a cot reserved for
the MyPillow guy's likely very-soon death.
363
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,752
Why isn't anyone
calling him about bedding?
364
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:17,839
I'm over here sleeping on
a freakin' lumpy pancake pillow!
365
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,924
It's Hell. We can't do anything about it.
366
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,301
Oh, yeah? Why can't we?
367
00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:22,635
You and I could fight him.
368
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,846
Well, sure, but how could we
get anyone to join us?
369
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:27,098
I think I know a way. Watch this.
370
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:31,436
The Devil wants Matt Rife
to perform an hour with no crowd work!
371
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:34,063
- That's impossible!
- He doesn't have the material!
372
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,733
My wife thought he was handsome.
That's why I killed her.
373
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,068
- [♪ eerie music playing]
- [demons shrieking]
374
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,862
[protestors clamoring]
375
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,573
- What do we want?
- [protestors] Now!
376
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,950
- And when do we want it?
- Better Hell!
377
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,035
All right, we'll work on it.
378
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:49,454
Boy, there's a lotta dingbats
in Hell, huh?
379
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:51,914
Oh, what's all this, now?
What are you doing?
380
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,291
We have some complaints!
381
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,460
Oh, for crying-- Come on, what?
382
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,170
My torture gives me anxiety,
383
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,589
so I want a mental health break
like Simone Biles.
384
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,758
No, no, we love her.
Let's not drag her into this.
385
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,426
I have to push a rock up a hill,
386
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:04,761
and I'd like it to be untimed
387
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,929
because I have ADD
and I learn differently.
388
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,890
Okay, that's enough
from Gen Z. Anybody else?
389
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,892
We want the age of consent lowered!
390
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:12,894
- He's not with us.
- I came with these two.
391
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,562
Yeah, I'm not gonna, like, tell a guy
392
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:16,689
he can't walk in the same direction as me.
393
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,274
[snarls]
394
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:19,525
All right, I've had enough.
395
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:21,319
Everyone out. I'm too busy for this.
396
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:22,445
Well, just get some help.
397
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:23,988
"Oh, get some help." Yeah, yeah,
I haven't thought of that before.
398
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,198
Everyone here is lazy.
399
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,449
I used to have all the gays helping
400
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,826
and being super mean
in funny ways, they ruled,
401
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:31,537
and then somebody decided
it's not a sin so I lost 'em!
402
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,790
Oh, boo-hoo. Cowboy up, man.
403
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,374
You know what? You know what? It's fine.
404
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,793
You guys think you can do a better job?
405
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,754
Here. Here you go,
take the thing, I'm done. I quit!
406
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,130
Enjoy this thankless job!
407
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,715
[♪ eerie sting plays]
408
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,677
Whoa, we're in charge of Hell?
409
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:47,762
Well, one thing's for sure.
410
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:50,973
This is gonna make
a great 1980s ABC promo.
411
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,058
[narrator] Tonight...
412
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,477
Whoa, we're in charge of Hell?
413
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,979
[narrator] Stewie and Brian
are damned for eternity,
414
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,065
but is it too much for the Devil?
415
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:01,275
I quit! Enjoy this thankless job!
416
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,069
[narrator] Things are really heating up
417
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,488
on an all-new Family Guy.
418
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:06,572
{\an8}Then...
419
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,282
{\an8}Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
420
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,368
Every time you go
into business, you take a risk.
421
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:11,702
- [clock ticking]
- [gunshot]
422
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,746
You killed everyone I ever loved.
423
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:14,831
[narrator] Susan Lucci...
424
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,999
You don't have to be gentle,
I won't break.
425
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,794
[narrator] Lady Mobster. Next Sunday.
426
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:23,506
[♪ jaunty music playing]
427
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,716
[♪ music distorts]
428
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,010
All right, Bri, what should
our first changes be
429
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,179
as the new Devil and Devil's assistant?
430
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,472
Wait, wouldn't we be co-Devils?
431
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,642
Oh, sure, co-Devil, yeah.
Like "Co-Devil and The Deep Blue Sea."
432
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,310
"Co-deviled ham sandwich."
433
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,854
"Oh, God! You co-Devil."
434
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,772
You hear that?
You hear how dumb that sounds?
435
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:42,024
Okay, fine.
Now, what do we say to this crowd?
436
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,734
Shoot from the hip. No bad ideas.
437
00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:46,654
Uh, well, what about
alternate side of the street parking?
438
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:49,240
All right, so we've established
there are bad ideas.
439
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:50,616
I'm just priming the pump.
440
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,286
Oh, maybe, instead of it being
"The Devil you know,"
441
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,955
we make it fun. "The Devil. You know?"
442
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,248
That's terrible.
443
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,167
Hey! We're the new Devils.
444
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:00,793
And by the time we're through here,
445
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:03,171
it's not gonna be, "The Devil you know,"
446
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:05,590
it's gonna be, "The Devil. You know?"
447
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,592
[crowd cheering]
448
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,177
They like our ideas!
449
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,053
We're gonna be the people's Devils.
450
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,722
How can we improve Hell?
451
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,348
Hell is too hot!
452
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:15,683
It is very hot.
453
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:16,851
We're gonna get air conditioning!
454
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,895
Yes! Everyone is getting A/C!
455
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,646
Central or forced air?
456
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:23,524
We don't... we don't have to get into
the weeds right out of the gate.
457
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:25,109
We want forced air!
458
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,277
[chuckles nervously] Okay, okay.
459
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,945
Maybe somebody can explain to our friend
460
00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:31,115
that "forced air" describes
the air distribution system,
461
00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:32,450
basically, duct work,
462
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:35,161
whereas "central air"
is specific to the cooling part.
463
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:36,621
[man] So it's gonna be central?
464
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:37,830
We're gonna figure it out.
465
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,957
All right, no more A/C questions!
Now, what else?
466
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:43,419
We hate commutes.
We want to be tortured at home!
467
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:46,172
- Done.
- And all torture is voluntary now.
468
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,424
But we can choose it if we want?
469
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,384
Yes, Lee, you can choose it.
470
00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:53,596
And say goodbye to poop boxes,
'cause we're getting toilets!
471
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,056
[crowd cheering]
472
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:59,018
And everyone is getting little gold
necklaces with their names in cursive.
473
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,811
[woman 1] I'm a woman, so I love that!
474
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:03,397
And in the downtown area,
we're gonna ban cars.
475
00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:07,109
Hell is gonna be walkable
and full of cute cafés and bistros!
476
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,237
[woman 2] I'm another woman,
so I love that!
477
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,781
[crowd cheering]
478
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,074
We're doing great!
479
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,576
Hey, would you mind getting me
a grande iced caffè mocha?
480
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,370
I can't go back in there.
481
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:19,872
- [demon cackling]
- [man screaming]
482
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,083
[♪ soft music playing over speakerphone,
Christopher Cross "Arthur's Theme"]
483
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,501
That didn't sound fun.
484
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,044
Let's just say the zoning board
485
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:28,214
won't approve a mixed-use
commercial/torture space.
486
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,299
Where are we at with
the additional A/C units?
487
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,634
On hold with Carrier.
488
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,010
[Carrier agent] I apologize for the wait.
489
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:35,304
I am gonna have to put you
on hold once more.
490
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,847
I've been on hold for two hours!
491
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:38,015
This is unacceptable!
492
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,601
I'm the Devil! Maybe I take
my business elsewhere.
493
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,061
[Carrier agent] Sir, this is Carrier.
494
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:45,439
If you can think of even one single
other air conditioner brand,
495
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:46,983
then be my guest.
496
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,570
- Fine, I'll hold.
- [♪ soft music continues playing]
497
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,196
[announcer] Carrier.
We dare you to think of
498
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,949
even one single other
air conditioner brand.
499
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,284
[headsets clack]
500
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:58,536
I have your 6:15 appointment.
501
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,079
I'm sorry, what was this about?
502
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:03,916
Yeah, I noticed that the commissary
only has Oroweat bread now.
503
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,252
Right. In order to pay
for all these new changes,
504
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,379
I had to let Oroweat sponsor everything.
505
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:10,506
Can we get another kind of bread?
506
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,799
That, uh... [chuckles]
507
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:14,176
That's the one thing
we definitely cannot get.
508
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:18,639
I love Dave's Killer Bread.
It has seeds and extra protein.
509
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,057
I love it too! It's not happening!
510
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:21,559
I signed a deal! Anything else?
511
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:24,270
Yeah, an A/C unit
was just installed in my building,
512
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,564
and it's... it's a little cold now.
513
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,316
Hell's too cold for you now?
514
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,985
Fine. Here, have an Oroweat sweatshirt!
515
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,654
{\an8}Do you have this not in an XL?
516
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,947
{\an8}That's all they sent us!
517
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,450
Bri, I am exhausted.
518
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:39,410
Yeah, I think I'm done. This is too hard.
519
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:41,787
We gotta find the Devil
and get him to take the job back.
520
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:44,457
Right. But where would
a frustrated, middle-aged guy
521
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:47,793
who doesn't wanna be found,
but kinda wants to be found go?
522
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,879
[♪ baseball music playing]
523
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,840
[grunts]
524
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:54,133
- [pitching machine fires]
- [grunts]
525
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:55,384
You're trying to pull everything.
526
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,053
Let the pitch take you where it wants.
527
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,137
- [pitching machine fires]
- [grunts]
528
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,555
- There you go.
- What do you guys want?
529
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,308
We want you to be the Devil again.
The job's too hard for us.
530
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:03,768
Why would I want to deal with all that
531
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:06,228
when I could just be
in the cage hittin' freakin' rockets?
532
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,898
- [grunts]
- Look, Hell really needs you.
533
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,983
You know, I never even wanted to do this.
534
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,151
It was my dad's dream.
535
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:13,694
Yes, but you made it yours.
536
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:15,154
You're an amazing Devil.
537
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,448
No, I'm not. I used to be.
538
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,408
When I started here, I loved it.
539
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,662
It was small. I was working
with my buddies from Ohio State.
540
00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:24,497
It was all fire and torture.
541
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,624
But now, it's just...
it's just exhausting.
542
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:28,167
It's all administrative stuff.
543
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:31,420
I came to Hell to start fires,
not put 'em out.
544
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,339
Come on, let's make Hell awful again!
545
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,882
We can get red hats and everything!
546
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:37,968
Eh, I don't-- That's not
a bad idea, actually. I don't know.
547
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:40,554
Guys, I'm just tired
of being bad all the time.
548
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:43,224
I wish I could do
something good, even for one day.
549
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,726
What? Come on, man,
you do lots of good stuff!
550
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,478
Yuck, yeah, right, like what?
551
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:51,023
Like, you're the only thing keeping Earth
from being in complete anarchy.
552
00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:52,274
Me? How?
553
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:53,359
Well, think about it.
554
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:57,196
Without you and the idea of Hell,
imagine how people would behave?
555
00:19:57,279 --> 00:20:00,157
The threat of Hell is what makes
a lot of people be good up there.
556
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:02,702
And even so,
you're still doing a brisk business.
557
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:05,705
Don't you see?
You're the one keeping it all in check.
558
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:08,249
Whoa, I guess
I never thought of it like that.
559
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:09,458
Maybe you guys are right.
560
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:12,378
So, what do you say?
You want your old job back?
561
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:13,754
[♪ jaunty music playing]
562
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:16,006
[♪ music distorts]
563
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:19,135
I'd like to officially announce
that I am back as the Devil.
564
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,512
Torture is no longer voluntary!
565
00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:23,139
[man] Can we still do it from home?
566
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,725
Nope! All torture is back in the office.
567
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,893
- Boo!
- We hate you!
568
00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:29,729
What's up with those flashes of Meg?
569
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,982
[laughs] Oh, thank you. Thank you.
570
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,233
And thank you.
571
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:36,068
You know, you guys did a good thing.
572
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,611
You saved Hell.
573
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:39,822
So I'm gonna send you back up to Quahog
574
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,283
and give you another chance
to turn those lives around.
575
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:44,243
Oh, thank you so much!
576
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:45,786
Brian, let's get out of here.
577
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,955
[barista] Grande iced
caffè mocha for Stewie?
578
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,790
Oh, great. Now it's ready?
579
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:54,378
[♪ jaunty music playing]
580
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:57,173
Wow, we're getting a second chance.
581
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,759
That's right, and we're gonna be
a lot better this time.
582
00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:01,844
[screams] Help! I can't swim!
583
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,513
All right, we're not gonna make
the same mistake twice.
584
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,432
[ferry announcer] The Block
Island Ferry Halloween
585
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:09,018
Masquerade Ball is about to depart.
586
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,854
I say we leave him and just be
more careful crossing the street.
587
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,273
[whooshing]
588
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:15,608
Look both ways.
589
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,943
I think that was the lesson
we were supposed to learn.
590
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:20,029
[♪ uplifting music playing]
591
00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:24,575
[♪ sinister theme music playing]