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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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God, the Clam sucks
on Saturday mornings.
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It's all just weird
foreign sports fans,
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like those Pakistani
cricket hooligans.
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If you are not rooting
for Lahore,
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please you may leave,
I can tell you!
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Lahore cricketers are the best,
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and the others are not the best,
dear friends.
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I'm for Karachi, but I don't
got a death wish about it.
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Guys, what's wrong with us?
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It's Saturday morning,
and we're drinking in a bar.
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We should be drinking at
the Goodwill donation dumpster.
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- Why come?
-'Cause right now's
when all the yard sales end.
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We can get first pick
of the abandoned leftovers.
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That's a stupid idea.
There's not gonna
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be anything good
in that dumpster.
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What if I told you
everything I'm wearing right now
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I found in that dumpster?
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Is that a bachelorette sash?
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Scott said I could do hand stuff
this weekend, but that's it.
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I told you this is stupid.
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There's nothing good in here.
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Hey, look...
A pair of working legs.
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Dibs on these.
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Wha...? Aw, come on, Quagmire!
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Joe, I said dibs.
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No, no, you're right.
You said dibs.
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Whoa. Check it out.
A Sorry! board game.
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Let me see it.
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- Three pieces missing.
- How'd you do that?
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I can shake anything and
figure out what all's in there.
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You got 11 periods left.
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Cool. VHS of Eraserhead.
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This'll be good for when
I never want to sleep again.
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Holy crap.
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Wha-What? What is it?
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A Magic 8 Ball!
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This thing can tell the future.
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No, it can't, Peter.
It's just a stupid toy.
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I don't know. Let's test it.
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Will there be snow
this Christmas?
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Oh, my God, the ball is right.
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I should ask again later.
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How did it know that?
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Guys, from now on,
I am living my life
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according to the Magic 8 Ball.
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It will lead me
like the shorebird
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that led the first Pilgrims
to Boston.
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Ahoy!
Are you looking to build a city
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where sports fans
can be notoriously racist?
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Yeah, and can we also ruin
"Sweet Caroline"
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- for everyone else?
- Absolutely.
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Can our airport security people
be responsible for 9/11?
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And can our own 9/11 be, like,
one one-thousandth as bad,
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but we'll still make
a fricking movie about it?
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I think I know just the place.
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Okay, I don't know
if this is gonna be a problem,
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but we forgot
to bring the letter "R."
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No problem at all.
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Right this way,
large-faced whites!
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Let's go, Red Sox!
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Let's go, Red Sox!
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What is that?
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It's my Magic 8 Ball.
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This is the first black ball
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that Kim Kardashian
hasn't played with.
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Why is it filled with the blue
liquid from tampon commercials?
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That's a very gross question,
Meg.
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You may take your breakfast
in the attic.
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That question aside, I'm having
a blast with my new 8 Ball.
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It knows everything. Watch.
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Magic 8 Ball,
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will my middle-of-the-highway
puppet show be a success?
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Well, I'll show this thing.
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How'd it go, Dad?
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I don't know, Sparky.
What did you think?
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The performance was
a little flat.
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Magic 8 Ball.
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Magic 8 Ball, I'm bored.
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Should I sniff
my coworker's hair?
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He told me to do it!
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Mr. Griffin,
if a Magic 8 Ball asked you
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to jump off a building,
would you do that, too?
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Did it?
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No, I'm just using that
as an example of...
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I listened to the toy!
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Magic 8 Ball,
what's the best e-mail provider?
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"Outlook good." Interesting.
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He's not raving about it,
but it's a solid choice.
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Let's go, Peter.
Time for church.
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Mom said they're gonna serve
Chewy Chips Ahoy at coffee hour.
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Lois... church?
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Who am I supposed to worship...
Jesus?
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This is my god now.
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Watch your mouth, Peter.
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Sorry, Lois, but my religion
is now the 8 Ball.
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Magic 8 Ball,
is the Fox network sustainable
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in this new streaming world?
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No. No!
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Kim, what's wrong?
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A black ball went to waste.
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Are you streaming Mindhunter
in church?
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I'm trying to stream
Mindhunter in church.
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Freaking guest Wi-Fi.
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You know
the priest gets the good Wi-Fi.
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And yea, the Lord said...
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Whoa, whoa.
Mindhunter's going in.
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I mean...
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Thou art the children
of Abraham, and thou shalt...
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He's playing you!
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You think you're playing him?
He's playing you.
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I hate this.
When do I get my cookie?
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I just want my cookie
so I can go home.
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Now please join me
in silent prayer.
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And as we settle
into the silence,
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I remind you that...
In honor of Lent...
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Today's coffee service will not
include Chewy Chips Ahoy.
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Hey, Stewie said his first word.
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And it was a swear.
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Well, this is unacceptable.
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We have to leave right now
and go straight to breakfast.
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Unbelievable.
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Let's go!
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I can't believe Stewie
finally said his first word
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and it ends up being... that.
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Right now, every woman in my
mommy wine group is judging me.
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I may have to start
drinking wine at home alone.
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-Start?
-Not the day for it, Chris!
Not the day!
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I don't get it, Stewie.
You've been talking forever.
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Why did everyone suddenly
understand you now?
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I don't know.
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I was feeling so much
intense emotion in the moment,
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and that one word somehow
just burst through.
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Yeah, but now what?
Everyone can understand you?
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I don't think so.
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Not unless I'm yelling something
I feel strongly about.
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Greta Gerwig
is a national treasure!
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See? Nothing.
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I guess I'm not feeling it.
I don't know.
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What if that's the only thing
I'll ever be able to express?
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Anger. What kind
of a person would I be then?
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00:07:26,130 --> 00:07:27,620
Larry David, Lewis Black,
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a Trump voter,
everyone on Twitter.
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But I don't want
to be any of those things.
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They've got to hear me.
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Ice cream! Lollipop!
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Bubbles! Kitty cat!
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Doggy! Raincoat! Preschool!
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Fire truck! Goldfish!
Finger paint!
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Lois, what are you doing here?
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What do you mean?
You invited us.
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Sorry, but we can't
have Stewie here.
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I brought my own veggie burgers,
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but I'm not gonna make
a big deal about it.
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What with his profanity and all,
I don't think
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Stewie would be a good influence
on the other children.
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Is there a designated spot
on the grill
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for the veggie burgers?
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And again, not a big deal.
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You're saying
that because of a swear word,
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my son isn't good enough
for your pool party?
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It's a little bit
about him swearing,
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but mostly
about you as a parent.
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Kevin, I said, no arrows!
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Crossbows don't shoot arrows.
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They shoot bolts, dumbass!
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Okay, sweetie.
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Hey, Dad, did you hear
what Einstein called bolts?
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I heard it.
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Brian, shut off the television.
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It's ruined my baby!
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What are you talking about?
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Stewie obviously learned
to swear from some TV show.
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No, he didn't. The only show
he watches is Caillou.
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Well, then that little
French-Canadian weirdo
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is the potty mouth,
I'm sure of it.
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And I'm willing to watch every
single episode just to prove it.
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Caillou was upset.
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Why am I bald?
I'm not a baby. I'm four.
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Are kids just bald in Canada?
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So Caillou decided
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00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,350
to look himself up on Wikipedia.
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00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:04,470
God, this is dull.
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Maybe I'm supposed
to be a cancer survivor,
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and this show is very inspiring.
194
00:09:09,210 --> 00:09:11,680
But Caillou
wasn't a cancer survivor.
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00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,140
The show's creators
just made a weird choice.
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00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:17,650
Caillou's
low-testosterone father
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00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,150
again indulged
Caillou's tantrum,
198
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:22,550
clearly trying
to raise a sociopath.
199
00:09:22,580 --> 00:09:23,890
It's okay, Caillou.
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00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:26,150
I'll bake you a pie.
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00:09:26,230 --> 00:09:28,730
He said, his body flooding
with estrogen.
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00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:30,160
Lois?
203
00:09:30,230 --> 00:09:31,580
Are you dead?
204
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,400
Can I eat you?
205
00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:36,760
- Huh? What?
- Ah, another time.
206
00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:40,840
Oh. I-I, um... I watched
that Caillou, and you're right.
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00:09:40,910 --> 00:09:43,210
Stewie didn't learn that word
from Caillou.
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00:09:43,290 --> 00:09:45,390
That means he learned it
from someone in this house.
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00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:47,600
- Okay.
- And I will find out who.
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00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:49,390
I'm gonna set a trap
211
00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:51,850
and lure the swearer
into revealing himself.
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00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,220
That sounds hard.
213
00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:55,920
Oh, I will find the swearer.
214
00:09:55,940 --> 00:09:57,240
Dad, why are we sitting
215
00:09:57,260 --> 00:09:58,780
on the washing machine?
216
00:09:58,860 --> 00:10:00,410
Because in Canada,
217
00:10:00,430 --> 00:10:02,320
men have vaginas.
218
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,770
Hey, what's with the stairs?
Why do they look different?
219
00:10:08,790 --> 00:10:10,410
Oh, I'm trying to prove
220
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,340
that Peter's the one
cussing in the house,
221
00:10:12,370 --> 00:10:15,130
so I waxed the staircase
for him to fall down.
222
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,270
Hey, Lois, have you seen
my Spider-Man socks?
223
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:18,590
I can't seem to...
224
00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:20,040
Ouch. Oh, heavens.
225
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,420
Oh, goodness gracious.
226
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:23,380
That's smarts. Oh, my.
227
00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:24,860
Egad. Well, I'll be.
228
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,950
Yikes.
229
00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:28,770
Peter, when did you
become so polite?
230
00:10:28,790 --> 00:10:31,050
Oh, I've been hanging out
with Caillou's beta dad.
231
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,050
In fact,
I'm meeting him at the park
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00:10:33,130 --> 00:10:35,440
to eat unsalted saltines
on the swings.
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00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:37,800
I feel like you're wearing
234
00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:41,280
what Rachel Maddow
would wear to a pumpkin patch.
235
00:10:43,850 --> 00:10:45,470
Lois couldn't find the swearer,
236
00:10:45,490 --> 00:10:47,470
nor could she remove the voice
237
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:50,400
of the grating Caillou narrator
from her head.
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00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,500
Make it stop!
239
00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:54,880
Not until you kill them all,
Lois.
240
00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:57,000
Oh, crap.
241
00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,080
It's the lady
with the baby who cussed.
242
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,000
Turn out the lights.
243
00:11:01,030 --> 00:11:02,180
Shh. Quiet, quiet.
244
00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:04,130
H-Hello?
245
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,350
Hello! I know you're in there!
246
00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:07,960
We're closed!
247
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,180
I know you're not closed.
248
00:11:10,260 --> 00:11:12,020
I see the Instacart people
in there
249
00:11:12,090 --> 00:11:14,170
emotionlessly filling up
their baskets.
250
00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:15,830
We're a family establishment,
251
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:17,770
so take your foul-mouthed baby
and go away!
252
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,690
Please, let me in!
253
00:11:19,770 --> 00:11:22,270
I can only poop
behind a punch-code door!
254
00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:23,580
There's something
about the beeps.
255
00:11:23,610 --> 00:11:24,980
It gets things moving!
256
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:26,770
It's very secure!
257
00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:28,350
Go away!
258
00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:30,110
You can't do this!
259
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,490
When a mom is shunned
by groceries,
260
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:35,660
she has nothing!
261
00:11:35,730 --> 00:11:38,590
Please!
262
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:44,790
Aah! It's those antibacterial
wipes for the shopping carts!
263
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,550
It's burning my eyes!
264
00:11:52,540 --> 00:11:53,470
Oh, my God.
265
00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:55,040
I-It's me.
266
00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:57,040
I'm the swearer.
267
00:11:57,070 --> 00:11:59,730
Oh, God.
268
00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:03,140
I'm ruining my child!
269
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:04,620
Lois was sad,
270
00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:06,810
but not as sad
as she was going to be
271
00:12:06,890 --> 00:12:10,030
when she realizes she has
to use those ouchie wipes
272
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:12,540
to make a potty next
to the store dumpster.
273
00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:20,810
I feel so awful.
274
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,510
I've corrupted my baby
275
00:12:22,580 --> 00:12:25,510
with my foul language
and my terrible anger.
276
00:12:25,580 --> 00:12:27,790
I'm so sorry that happened,
Lois.
277
00:12:27,870 --> 00:12:30,130
And Lofthouse cookies
weren't available
278
00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:31,760
at any other grocery store?
279
00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:34,330
Don't worry, Dad.
I Instacarted some.
280
00:12:36,850 --> 00:12:38,140
Here's your stuff.
281
00:12:38,210 --> 00:12:39,330
Thank you. Have a good night.
282
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,100
No.
283
00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:42,530
Anyway, the point is
284
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,510
I have to deal with my anger
and fix myself.
285
00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:48,010
So I've decided to attend
this relaxation retreat
286
00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:50,680
at Vista del Vista Resort.
287
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:52,200
Uh, gosh,
I don't know about that, Lois.
288
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,440
It sounds really expensive.
289
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,780
No, I guess you're right.
290
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:57,450
There's no way we can afford it.
291
00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,710
Plus, if I go,
that means I won't be here
292
00:12:59,790 --> 00:13:02,020
to help out around the house
or feed you guys
293
00:13:02,050 --> 00:13:04,690
or monitor your Internet usage
every day...
294
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:05,690
- You should go.
- Yeah, Mom,
295
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,220
you should go, for sure.
296
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:13,930
Because they want to masturbate,
you see.
297
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:15,920
Okay.
298
00:13:15,970 --> 00:13:17,370
Uh, I don't know what that was,
299
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,280
but, Lois, you should go
to that resort.
300
00:13:19,310 --> 00:13:20,900
Go relax and fix yourself.
301
00:13:20,970 --> 00:13:22,380
Really?
302
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,310
You guys'll be okay
while I'm gone?
303
00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:25,600
Sure. We'll have fun!
304
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:28,400
Just like that time me and Chris
went Jet Ski'ing.
305
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,310
Yeah! This is awesome!
306
00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:31,410
I know, right?
307
00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:33,910
Oh, my God!
308
00:13:33,990 --> 00:13:34,990
It's okay, Chris.
309
00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:36,220
I'm sure that was the only one.
310
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,950
Dolphins swim alone.
311
00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:43,700
Okay, maybe we should turn back.
312
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:44,950
No.
313
00:13:45,030 --> 00:13:47,900
Kill every last one of them.
314
00:13:47,930 --> 00:13:50,150
Chris and I never spoke
of that day.
315
00:13:50,170 --> 00:13:53,760
But whenever somebody talks
about how smart dolphins are,
316
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,410
Chris and I look
at each other like,
317
00:13:55,430 --> 00:13:57,270
"No."
318
00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:04,770
♪ You got to ac-cent-tchu-ate
the positive ♪
319
00:14:04,850 --> 00:14:08,520
♪ E-lim-i-nate the negative ♪
320
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,590
♪ And latch on ♪
321
00:14:10,620 --> 00:14:13,430
♪ To the affirmative. ♪
322
00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:15,730
Lois Griffin? My name is Roger,
323
00:14:15,810 --> 00:14:17,860
and I'll be guiding
this relaxation adventure
324
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,740
for you
and the other white women,
325
00:14:19,820 --> 00:14:22,100
plus an Asian woman who has
a white husband back home.
326
00:14:22,130 --> 00:14:24,770
I feel more relaxed already.
327
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:28,750
Now sit down and enjoy some
spa music that's mostly rain.
328
00:14:28,820 --> 00:14:31,510
Hey, guys, can we take it
from the rain again?
329
00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:43,530
Well, Chris and Meg
are off to school.
330
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,150
Guess it's just you and me now.
331
00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:46,460
You want a Popsicle?
332
00:14:46,630 --> 00:14:47,710
Huh?
333
00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:49,800
Breakfast Popsicle?
334
00:14:50,950 --> 00:14:52,880
Whoa, there's vodka in here.
335
00:14:56,890 --> 00:14:58,640
Now, what... Uh, now, what is...
336
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,290
Now, what... what did you want?
337
00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:01,440
What...
338
00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:03,390
Let's go play in the hot yard.
339
00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:05,650
I'm two and a half hours late
for preschool.
340
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:06,730
Your dad...
341
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,130
What... Who wants milk?
342
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,630
L-Let me quick just check
in the freezer.
343
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:15,310
You-you burger.
344
00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:17,140
Here-Here's your veggie burger.
345
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:19,640
It'll thaw out.
346
00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:21,140
It... You s-suck on it.
347
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,740
It'll thaw out nice.
348
00:15:22,820 --> 00:15:24,340
All right, I'm out of here.
349
00:15:24,410 --> 00:15:26,670
Ah, this is the perfect amount
of drunk
350
00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:29,750
for a Filet-O-Fish.
351
00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:34,680
Hey.
352
00:15:34,710 --> 00:15:37,020
I'm, um, Trey Headband,
353
00:15:37,090 --> 00:15:40,160
and I'm your dumb
yoga instructor?
354
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,760
Yoga is, um, good?
355
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,500
And from, um, like, China?
356
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:47,600
Ready? Go.
357
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:48,840
Go what?
358
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:49,860
What?
359
00:15:49,890 --> 00:15:52,060
Y-You didn't tell us what to do.
360
00:15:52,140 --> 00:15:54,610
Awesome. You guys did great.
361
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:56,150
Let's take a break.
362
00:15:56,230 --> 00:15:57,510
Who's got yoga questions?
363
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,020
Oh, I have a question.
364
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,040
What does "namaste" mean?
365
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,120
I don't know.
366
00:16:02,190 --> 00:16:04,190
I've never heard of that.
367
00:16:04,210 --> 00:16:06,950
But do you guys remember
OP shorts?
368
00:16:07,030 --> 00:16:08,400
What does that have to do
with yoga?
369
00:16:08,420 --> 00:16:09,530
I don't know.
370
00:16:09,610 --> 00:16:12,030
I'm just saying,
those were pretty rad.
371
00:16:12,050 --> 00:16:15,130
You guys are doing really good.
372
00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:16,500
Keep going.
373
00:16:16,580 --> 00:16:19,040
I'm gonna go
to that bathroom right there
374
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:21,270
and do explosive diarrhea.
375
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,510
Just be quiet and meditate now.
376
00:16:25,590 --> 00:16:26,590
Right on?
377
00:16:29,930 --> 00:16:32,810
Just, like,
be one with the silence.
378
00:16:36,740 --> 00:16:38,360
If you hear a sound,
379
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,030
just, um, rec-knowledge it
380
00:16:41,110 --> 00:16:43,160
and then, like, let it go?
381
00:16:46,950 --> 00:16:50,420
Meditation doesn't have
diarrhea sounds.
382
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:53,300
All right, let's check in
on Peter and the baby.
383
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,070
Okay, Stewie, time for Daddy
to mow this very rocky backyard.
384
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,050
So I'll just put you in this
baby seat you've grown out of,
385
00:17:01,130 --> 00:17:02,490
right where the rocks
are gonna fly.
386
00:17:02,510 --> 00:17:03,640
Wait, what?
387
00:17:06,420 --> 00:17:07,890
Hang on! Stop!
388
00:17:07,970 --> 00:17:10,090
- Aah!
- Uhp, there we go.
389
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:12,590
Wow, that's a lot of rocks.
390
00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:14,520
Damn it! Ow! Ow! Turn it off!
391
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,240
Uhp, the voles are back.
392
00:17:16,270 --> 00:17:18,600
You can tell
from all the very many rocks.
393
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:19,860
Look at 'em fly!
394
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,860
Still think moving
was such a bad idea?
395
00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:24,940
I don't know.
396
00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:26,900
Do we still live
with your mother?
397
00:17:40,670 --> 00:17:42,310
Good morning, everyone.
398
00:17:42,380 --> 00:17:44,450
Let me start
with another friendly reminder
399
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,760
to please not flush
your feminine products.
400
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,480
The yard over the septic tank
out back
401
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,890
looks like
a Braveheart battlefield.
402
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:54,100
Okay. Now it's time for everyone
to choose a mantra.
403
00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:55,360
What's that?
404
00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:57,730
It's like a word you say
that brings you peace.
405
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,110
A special word.
406
00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:01,740
A word of release and catharsis.
407
00:18:01,810 --> 00:18:03,310
You mean like?
408
00:18:04,690 --> 00:18:07,240
Now, now, Lois,
let's keep things acceptable.
409
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,170
I mean, I'm just saying...
I already have a word
410
00:18:09,190 --> 00:18:11,080
that does all those things
when I say it.
411
00:18:11,150 --> 00:18:12,340
And that word is...
412
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,130
Yes, we heard the word!
Lois, please...
413
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,790
No, no, maybe I'm not perfect,
414
00:18:15,870 --> 00:18:17,320
but I'm a good person.
415
00:18:17,340 --> 00:18:18,660
I love my children.
416
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:19,680
I like my husband.
417
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:20,920
And there are worse things
418
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,300
than occasionally using
a swear word.
419
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:25,310
I'm out of here.
420
00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:31,420
Guys, I'm worried
about the baby.
421
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,680
He's hardly touched
any of his birdseed.
422
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,760
Are you sure
we're shaking him enough?
423
00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:37,350
I'm home!
424
00:18:37,430 --> 00:18:39,730
Yeah!
425
00:18:39,810 --> 00:18:41,730
I missed you guys so much.
426
00:18:41,810 --> 00:18:43,740
I'm so sorry
I had that little meltdown.
427
00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:44,860
But, more than that,
428
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:47,120
I'm sorry
I left you guys on your own.
429
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,940
This is where I want to be.
430
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,630
Is that okay with you guys?
431
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:51,700
Of course, Lois.
432
00:18:51,780 --> 00:18:53,200
Everyone's glad you're home,
433
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,410
except for
mean older brother Buzz,
434
00:18:55,490 --> 00:18:57,080
who never says anything nice.
435
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,750
Uh-oh. Here he is now.
436
00:18:58,830 --> 00:19:00,040
Hey, Lois.
437
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,140
Pretty cool you're back.
438
00:19:02,210 --> 00:19:04,840
Aw, I guess he's not such
a bad guy after all.
439
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,140
Also, America should only accept
white immigrants.
440
00:19:07,220 --> 00:19:09,290
Uhp, nope, he's still a bad guy.
441
00:19:09,310 --> 00:19:11,550
Well, I am so happy to be home.
442
00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:15,100
But there's one little guy
I missed most of all.
443
00:19:15,180 --> 00:19:18,060
Where's my baby?
444
00:19:24,350 --> 00:19:25,640
Stewie,
445
00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:27,330
i-it's me.
446
00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:29,320
I'm home.
447
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,480
Mommy!
448
00:19:34,530 --> 00:19:35,450
- Whoa.
- Wow.
449
00:19:35,530 --> 00:19:37,010
It's Stewie's second word!
450
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:38,650
Oh, my God!
451
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,460
His second word was me!
452
00:19:40,540 --> 00:19:41,670
"Mommy."
453
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:44,180
Oh, I love you, Stewie!
454
00:19:44,260 --> 00:19:46,640
Ooh, ooh.
Say that again for Instagram.
455
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:53,830
Well, well, I guess
he doesn't feel like it anymore.
456
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,080
- Mommy!
- Ah!
457
00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:58,280
Say it again!
Say "Mommy" again for Instagram.
458
00:19:59,510 --> 00:20:00,820
All right.
459
00:20:00,850 --> 00:20:01,850
I tried.
460
00:20:01,890 --> 00:20:02,890
Mommy!
461
00:20:10,690 --> 00:20:12,240
Wow, Stewie, kind of a big deal
462
00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:14,170
that your second word
was "Mommy."
463
00:20:14,190 --> 00:20:16,010
Makes me think
you don't want to kill her
464
00:20:16,030 --> 00:20:17,860
and maybe you love her.
465
00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:19,980
No, no, no. No, no, no.
466
00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:22,180
No, no, that's what I wanted you
to think.
467
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,590
- What are you talking about?
- Yeah.
468
00:20:23,610 --> 00:20:24,650
I scammed you, man.
469
00:20:24,730 --> 00:20:26,280
Took you for a ride, Jack.
470
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:27,830
You thought you were a big wheel
471
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:29,950
till you found out
squares don't roll, man.
472
00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:31,690
Dig this, hep cat.
473
00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:35,190
The Stew-man spun you round
like a Bill Evans 45.
474
00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:36,530
Wait, what's happening?
475
00:20:36,550 --> 00:20:38,170
I'll tell you what's happening,
Brian.
476
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,790
The whole family's becoming Jack
Kerouac's insufferable friends.
477
00:20:41,870 --> 00:20:44,630
No one wants us at
their apartment party, ya dig?
478
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:47,540
Get hip to that, daddy,
or skit-scat out of the house.
479
00:20:51,970 --> 00:20:54,040
We don't know
how to end these shows anymore,
480
00:20:54,070 --> 00:20:55,980
so we just do nonsense.